Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Handle Impostor Syndrome in the First 90 Days
Transcript
- Lucas: You've been a manager for three weeks. You got the promotion you wanted. But every morning you walk into the office — or log onto Slack — and you think, 'Any day now, someone's going to realize I have no idea what I'm doing.' Luna: Oh, that feeling has a name. And it's incredibly common. Lucas: It's impostor syndrome. And according to a 2023 study from the Journal of Organizational Behavior, roughly 70 percent of first-time managers report experiencing it within their first three months. Not a small minority — seven out of ten. Luna: I remember my first month as a manager. I kept waiting for my old peers — now my direct reports — to call me out. It's exhausting. Lucas: And that's exactly what we're digging into today. How to recognize impostor syndrome, why it hits new managers so hard, and — most importantly — what to actually do about it. Luna: Before we dive deeper, I want to mention something. This show — and the whole Fexingo network — stays ad-free because of listeners who chip in a couple of dollars a month. If these conversations have helped you think through a career move or a tricky leadership moment, you can support us at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Lucas: Yeah, it genuinely makes a difference. Even small contributions help us keep producing episodes exactly like this one. So thank you to everyone who's already supported the show. Luna: Alright, so let's start with why impostor syndrome is practically baked into the new-manager experience. Lucas: Part of it is the identity shift. One day you're an individual contributor — you know your craft, you have a reputation for being good at it. The next day, your job is to enable other people to do that craft. You're no longer the expert; you're the facilitator. Luna: Right. And nobody hands you a manual for that transition. Lucas: Exactly. There's also the comparison trap. You look at other managers — your own boss, peers who've been in the role longer — and they seem so confident. But here's the thing: many of them feel the same way. The 70 percent number I mentioned? That's across all levels of management, not just first-timers. Luna: So what's the first step? How do you start to push back against that voice in your head? Lucas: I think the most practical first step is to name it. Literally say to yourself, 'I am experiencing impostor syndrome right now.' It sounds simple, but labeling the feeling creates distance. You're not a fraud — you're a person having a thought that you're a fraud. Luna: That cognitive reframing is powerful. It's like stepping outside your own head for a second. Lucas: Then, collect evidence. Impostor syndrome thrives on vagueness. It says, 'You don't know what you're doing.' So you need concrete data to counter that. Write down three specific things you've done well this week — maybe it's a one-on-one where a direct report opened up, or a decision you made that saved the team time. Luna: I used to keep a 'wins file' — a simple document where I'd jot down one win each day. On days when the doubt was loud, I'd read through it. It sounds almost too simple, but it worked. Lucas: That's a perfect example. And there's research backing that up. A study from Harvard Business Review found that managers who regularly recorded their accomplishments reported a 23 percent increase in self-efficacy over six months. It's a low-effort, high-impact habit. Luna: But what about the social side? You're managing people who used to be your peers. That adds another layer. Lucas: It absolutely does. When you're promoted from within, your former peers are watching you. And you might worry they're thinking, 'Who does she think she is?' But here's what the data shows: that fear is usually overblown. In a 2022 survey by the Society for Human Resource Management, 68 percent of employees said they respected a newly promoted peer-manager more if that manager openly acknowledged the awkwardness of the transition. Luna: So vulnerability actually builds trust, not undermines it. Lucas: Exactly. You can say something like, 'Hey, I know this is a bit weird — I used to be on the same level as you. I'm still figuring out this manager thing, and I'd love your feedback on how I can support you better.' That honesty disarms the tension. Luna: I've seen that work firsthand. One of my former peers became my direct report, and our first one-on-one was awkward until I just said, 'This feels strange, right?' He laughed and said, 'Yeah, it does.' From then on, it was fine. Lucas: Right. You're not pretending to have all the answers. You're signaling that you're learning alongside them. That's the kind of manager people want to follow. Luna: Okay, so we've covered naming it, collecting evidence, and being vulnerable. What else? Lucas: Another tactic is to reframe your role. Instead of thinking, 'I need to be the expert,' think, 'I need to be the connector.' Your job is to unblock your team, connect them to resources, and advocate for them upward. That's a skillset you can build — it's not about knowing everything. Luna: That takes the pressure off. You're not supposed to have all the answers; you're supposed to know who does. Lucas: Exactly. And finally, give yourself permission to be a beginner. You weren't expected to be a great manager on day one. In fact, one study from Google's Project Oxygen found that it takes most new managers six to twelve months to reach a baseline level of effectiveness. So cut yourself some slack. Luna: That's reassuring. Six months feels like a long time when you're in the thick of it, but it's actually a reasonable learning curve. Lucas: Absolutely. And if you're still struggling after that, it might be worth talking to a mentor or even a coach. But for most people, these strategies — naming the feeling, collecting evidence, reframing your role, and being vulnerable — are enough to quiet the impostor voice. Luna: So to recap: it's normal, it's not your fault, and there are concrete things you can do about it. Lucas: And if you take away one thing, let it be this: start a wins file today. Five minutes at the end of your week. Write down three things you did well. Next time the doubt creeps in, you'll have proof that you belong in that chair. Luna: Great advice. Thanks for joining us on New Manager Conversations. We'll be back next week with another topic to help you lead with confidence.