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Dear Banya: Golden Globe Worthy · Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Scrubbing in with Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio and
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Hello everybody, we are scrubbing in that we are. Yes,
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: do we have new options for our dear Bania jingle?
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: I have not anything.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: Call with the question. I have idea, dear, it's just
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: giving miss Rachel. What was the other one? Oh?
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no we can't.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: It's okay, the time will come.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: I don't want the Miss Rachel one.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: I know, I know, because yeah, that makes sense. We
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: just have to shoot from for.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: More, for more. Yeah, for the golden globe. Yes, for
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: the glow.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: That is not a Golden Globe jingle.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: No, it's not.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: That's just and I, first of all, I haven't. I
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: haven't submitted anything. So that's no dig to Easton and
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: his hard work.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: No, no, no, no digs at all. Actually I give
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: I commend him for even putting that together, right right, right.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: But I think that in order to get the Golden
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Globe in twenty twenty seven, there are some changes that
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: need to be made.
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: What are they?
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know yet. Oh, I have to create an
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: action plan.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: One thing about us is we have a big idea.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: But no follow through.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: That and like no way of getting there. It's just
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: the ideas there.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: And the passion the heart.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Do we have that?
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: I do, really yes. But when you have the passion
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: the heart, there's normally follow through.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Not true, it takes two. But do you feel like
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: it takes to make a thing right?
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: It takes you feel like like you feel like when
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: you you're putting in the works to get the Golden Globe,
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: you put in the work for that. It's just me
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: that's lack.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: No, I have the passion to do it. I have
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: the passion to like want to get that Golden Globe?
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: I do. Do I have the answer of how to
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: do that? I don't, but the passion's there.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Yes, okay, okay, yeah?
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: How cool would it be if we were a Golden
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: Globe nominated Becca? We won? Here's the thing, we won
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: two People's Choice Awards. I feel like you're so flippant
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: with that.
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: It is not at all major. It's so major.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: Do you think we have armchair expert? Armchair expert? One
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: of a People's Choice word? Did it actually?
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Marke? But I think that the the thing is, since
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: we've won those podcasts, we haven't done anything to upgrade
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: our podcast, to level up with the other podcasts that
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: are now being nominated a winning such as Call Her Daddy.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: No, I mean, like, what are they doing that's leveling up?
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: They have video, they have Yeah, so the like massive
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: guests they have like doesn't doesn't travel.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: They sit right in those those those chairs every time.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but we're talking about someone who is a famous
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: actor with a famous wife who's a famous actress. Like
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: they're they have a little bit. They don't have to
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: do as much as we need to do.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: I see your points. However, it is not lost on
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: me that we have beaten Oprah. Okay, if we can
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: beat Oprah, we can do anything.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: But do you think we could beat Oprah right now?
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: No?
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: Right, That's what I'm saying.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: No, we cannot.
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: We What I'm saying is we had the momentum. We
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: were like zoom zoom zoom, people choice the word, peoples
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: choice the word, and then we plateaued and we even
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: got nominated for a thirty year We.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Just yeah, yeah, that was a tough tough one to swallow.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: But what goes down must come back.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: Up, right, It's and that's the that's the truth.
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Uh, huh.
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: It's just that we got to make sure. We got
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: to make sure that our elevator isn't on a sinking ship. Yes,
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: we got to make sure our elevator isn't on the Titanic,
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: because an elevator can go up once it's down, but
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: if it's on a sinking ship, it just sinks.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: It's Oh my gosh, I'm saying today, I'm just.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Saying, we gotta we gotta be We gotta lok in. Yeah,
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: I'm locking in baby in more ways than one. Let
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: me tell you.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you what does that mean.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: You'll see. February first was like the start of the
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: year for me, just because I said.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: January same thing to January was a wash.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: I said, to hell with it.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: M hmm.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Feb one knew me, Yeah, catch me March one. You
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: weren't even recognize her anymore.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: WHOA, what's gonna be different.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go to therapy. I'm gonna make some action items,
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: make a vision board, and it'll all come together.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: I love therapy. My therapist is so amazing.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: I've been out of it for a minute and I'm
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: getting back in because your girl.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: She's just the best. Should we get into deer Bonnie
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: speaking of therapy?
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Mark, cue the song here comes.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: You're gonna call with the question ONNYA my idea. Dear Bony, Who.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: This is from?
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: Audrey Hi Beca Easton Marcantania. I'm a first time mom
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: to a seven month old baby named Raleigh. That is
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: a great name, our a w l u y Raleigh
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: your recent mentions if Gilmore girls maybe think of the
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: amazing other daughter relationship Laura Leon Rory have and how
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: I hope Rawley and I have a similar relationship one day.
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: What tips or advice do you have for building a
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: strong relationship with my daughter as she grows up. You
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: all seem to have such amazing relationship with your parents
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: and Mark, you seem to be raising strong modern women.
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: I'd love to know what has been a difference maker
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: for you. Thank you for always bringing the laughs in
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: sunshine each week. You were one of the many things
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: that got me through the newborn trenches.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: All the love, Audrey, that's a really cute name.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: Rolly uh? Mark, why don't you start with a daughter?
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: I take no credit. My secret, as it were, is
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: my wife. I give her one hundred percent credit for
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: the incredibly strong young women that we have raised. They
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: are nineteen and sixteen and uh and we're just we're
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: so proud. I don't think I did a thing to
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: make that happen. I give it all to my wife.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: Hey, Easton is here.
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't want to take any credit, but I
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: do think we were always there, and there was always
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: We're always around and we're always available to talk about
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: whatever they want, and they've always been very open with us.
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: And I don't know if that's something we did or
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: if that's just kind of how they are. I'm not
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: sure which direction that goes.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: You know, It's interesting because I feel like I was
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: the same way with my parents. Like I was always
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: pretty open and honest about stuff, but they never I
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: never felt like I had strict rules. Like I had rules.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Obviously I couldn't just like run amok, but I never
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: felt like I had these crazy rules put on me
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: to where I couldn't be open with them about stuff.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: You know, like when I wanted to have sex, I
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: was open about it. If I was going to drink
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: one night, or like you know what I mean, Like
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: I was kind of open about stuff and I feel
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: like I never took anything like I didn't take anything
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: advanta or I didn't take any of that advantage for granted,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: or I take advantage.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: I didn't take advantage of their like rules they're they're yeah, yeah,
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: parental guidelines correct. Yeah.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: I think that creates a space of like I agree,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: I think so, yeah, pretty nice.
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: I think when your kid coming to say, hey, I'm
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: thinking about doing some whatever it is, yeah, and you go, oh,
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: like it just suits up wall if you're like, well,
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: there's gonna do it behind your back, Yeah, exactly.
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: So yeah, that's a big part of it, I think.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I also think like doing just thoughtful things. I mean,
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: I don't know, like it's weird like being a kid
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: having like just being a kid and then being a
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: step parent is you know what I mean, It's it's
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: an interesting thing. So I'm like trying to create little
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: things that I do for them that are just like
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: thoughtful and intentional that I hope will make them feel
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: safe and just like that they know I like am
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: there and I love them and I think about them,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: M I also think like one of the things is
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: even if Rolly grows up and she's different and has
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: different interest in you, and it's just like a different
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: person than you thought she would be or or then
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: you were. I think learning to learn and know about
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: the things that she loves and is interested in will
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: go so far because I think a lot of parents
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: they have this expectation of I mean, I think it's
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: just natural to have expectations of your children. But I
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: think when there's you have a child that's like so
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: opposite from you and doesn't like like you're like, oh,
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: they don't like any of the same things I like
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: or that I liked when I was a kid, So
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: I don't know how to connect. It's like learning to
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: connect on the things that maybe aren't natural for you,
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: so that you are there for them. Yeah, because they're
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: not trying to choose things to be like, they're not
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: trying to choose interest to be like defiant from you.
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: They're trying They're just doing what they make happy.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So like meeting them there.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: That's good advice. Nothing makes me more sad than like
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: when like wherever they ask these like football players about
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: their kids, like oh, are they going to follow in
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: your footsteps? And like what if their kid doesn't want
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: to play football.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, hopefully they don't. Honestly, God, all right, Anonymous? Should
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: I leave my job? Dear Banya and Meeston.
• 10:07
  Speaker 5: Hey, that's me.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: First of all, thank you so much for providing such
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: joy and laughs over the years. Listening to the podcast
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: is truly the highlight of my week. I'm writing in
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: because I feel stuck in a job I once loved
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: and I don't know if that means if it's time
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: to move on. And but with my company, my entire career.
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: I grew here, I learned here, I loved the people,
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: the culture. I've been told them a valuable team manager,
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: someone they trust and rely on. But the past few years,
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: I've been up for three different internal positions and I've
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: not gotten any of them. In every case, I wasn't
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: even told they didn't get it until I followed up,
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: no check in, no courtesy update. If I'm so important,
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: why does this keep happening. I don't want to leave
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: out of emotion or ego, but I don't want to
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: stay somewhere where I don't see my future. I also
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: understand having a job as a privilege, and it could
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: be risky to leave with the current state of the world.
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: Is it worth having a talk with my manager? Or
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: how do you know what it's time to move on
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: from a company and a job that you love? Thanks
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: so much, love you guys.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Girl girl, girl, girl, girl girl, you're asking the wrong
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: girl over here. Well, I don't know the answer to this,
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: to be honest, Like, I don't know. I feel like
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: the fact that you keep getting passed up for these
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: these things is not a great sign. But I also
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: don't think you should leave a job if you don't
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: have a job. I don't think you should leave a
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: job if you don't have another job in place. That's
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: like I feel like one oh one, So I feel
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: like if you could, But I also understand like being
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: somewhere for so long and knowing all the nooks and
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: crannies and kind of.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: Like, but that's a comfort zone, yeah, for.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Sure, outside the comfort zone, right, Yeah.
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: You gotta look around, look around, talk to other companies,
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: see what else is out there, put yourself out there,
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: and if something great pops up, great. But I don't
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: think you leave if you don't have something else lined up.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: No, I think you have to have something. But how
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: do you have something lined up if you're looking around
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: where that gets back to you your company.
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: Well, hey, talked about I also talking to your manager
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: is a good idea to say, hey, look, I'm up
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: for all this stuff. You keep saying positive things. What
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: can I do? I need to advance here or I
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: got to go somewhere else.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Not a threat sounds threatening?
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: Now, Okay, so rephrase. But I'm saying you do have
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: to say I want to advance here. I've been in
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: this position too long, and they'll probably agree with you.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and if they don't, I think that's your sign
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: to live.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: On your sign. She saw the sign.
• 12:24
  Speaker 5: Most managers, I think aren't like waking up every day
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: and going, who can I give a raise to you today?
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: And definitely not.
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: You gotta let them know that you want that and
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: uh yeah and then then bail get out of there.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: What's the quote that's like when you accept it's not acceptable,
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: love you deserve, But it's like you, uh you know
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: what I'm saying? Yeah, what is it?
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Though?
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: It's basically saying like when you're mistreated or like overlooked.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: You, it's them showing you where you are.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: No, I don't think that's that's Yeah, basically what I'm
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: saying is at a certain point you have to realize
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: that if they don't see your value in this company,
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: then you need to find a company that does see
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: your value. And I think it's worth having a conversation
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: with someone and saying, like what Mark said, Hey, I
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: want to advance. I notice I'm up for these roles
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: and I'm not getting in. What am I doing that
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: that's not giving me that opportunity?
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah? What are you not seeing in me?
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: What are you seeing in other people that you're not
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: doing better? Yes? Yeah, that's what I would do. And
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: don't say like I got I'm leaving if you don't
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: do it, But just be like, hey, I really want
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: to like challenge myself and move up, but I keep
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: applying and not getting it. So what are other people
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: doing that's getting your attention?
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: So that I can do the same.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, good luck. We're rooting for you. Work.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Stuff's tough. It's tough, girl.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: We have a self centered friend issue coming up, but
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: we're gonna take a break and then we'll come back
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: with that.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: We're back.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: We are back with a self centered friend from anonymous.
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: Dear Beckatania Market, Easton. I need advice on how honest
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: is too honest in a friendship. I've been best friends
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: with my closest friends fromost ten years. We met in
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: early twenties, grew up together, We've been through breakups, career changes,
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: family stuff, all of it. Lately, though, I've been feeling drained.
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: She's not a bad person, but she's in a phase
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: wherever conversation revolves around her problems, dating, drama, works, dress,
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: feeling behind in life, and it feels like there's a
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: very little space for me anymore. When I try to
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: share something about my life, it just circles right back
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: to her issues. I don't think she's doing it intentionally,
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: which makes it tricky. Part of me feels like bad
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: friend for thinking this. But do I generally bring this
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: up and risk changing the dynamic forever? Do I adjust
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: my expectations, accept the friendships evolve, and protect my energy
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: without having that big talk.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: I don't want a loser, but.
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: I can't continue this current dynamic. I'm a day one
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: scrubber and can't thank you enough for everything. We love you, guys.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: This is just one of those things where you're gonna
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: have to have a convert Like for sure, if this
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: is Tanya, I'd be like, Tanya, I love you so
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: much and I am so here for everything and anything
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: that you're going through, but anymore, no, I'm gonna say that.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, and I'm going to be here because
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: I love you and that's that's what friendship is. But
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: I don't feel like there's any space for me. And
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: I also am going through things and would love to
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: have my best friend be there for me, because your
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: best friend should have a reaction of being like, oh
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: my gosh, you're so right, Like I have been so
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: focused on myself. I haven't I haven't even asked you
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: how you're doing. If she gets defensive, don't take it
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: as like she doesn't care. I think that's you know,
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: I don't know y'all's relationship, but she might get defensive.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because nobody wants to feel self centered.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: No one wants to feel self centered. Yeah, But I
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: think there's a way of you approaching it and coming
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: at her is like, I love you so much, I'm
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: I know that you're going through a lot and this
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: is a season, and I'm so here for you, and
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: I also am going through things, and I really want
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: I would love if there's space for me in these conversations.
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree. I think having a conversation. I don't
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: think you need to just like quietly walk away or
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: like move on, because I think I do think that
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: what you said is true, that she probably doesn't even
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: realize that she's doing it. And if you just call
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: her out on it in a nice way, obviously, I
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: do think she'll redirect and be a lot more intentional
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: with like her words and what she's saying.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's probably she probably without you saying anything,
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: she's just like, oh, I'm just gonna keep talking about
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: myself because this is what I'm going through and this
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: is what I feel like I need to do. And
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: she's not saying anything about it, so she's fine with it.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: Like she probably just thinks you're loving hearing about her life.
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: So I would just be like reassure her and also say, hey,
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: I want my best friend to be there for me too.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's conversation.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, don't walk away and don't walk up.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Don't walk away? What don't you want to see my hotteat?
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: And just is the Crambers, I don't want you seeing me?
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Cray Hi, just walk away? Nobody knows.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: That's all.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Okay, it's a bass Don't turn around, Don't turn around?
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: The classic?
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: Did you get the lyrics right?
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: Probably not? Mostly fair enough?
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: All right, we have a troget. We have a couple more,
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: a couple more emails that we're going to get to.
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: Check it out, check it out? What ready? Yeah, Natalie?
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: Should My wife and I travel internationally with her sister,
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: her sister's husband, and their new baby this upcoming mate.
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: My wife and I take one international trip a year.
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: My wife's sister and husband also enjoy traveling. They're currently
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: planning their twenty six travels and desperately want my wife
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: and I had to join them and their son in Portugal.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: They want us to join them.
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: He has to help out a bit with the baby,
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: but mainly to make memories. It's the five of us,
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: and to give us some uninterrupted time to bond with
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: our nephew. They're really excited about us sharing an Airbnb abroad,
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: and IVY already put together a rough plan if we
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: say yes. My wife and I think it sounds fun,
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: but we have our reservations, which is why I'm riding in.
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: The more people you travel with, the more complicated gats
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: plus a baby. That's a whole other can of worms. Slower, travel,
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: less adventurous, more hiccups, but could be very rewarding in
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: the end. Going on this also means sharing our big
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: trip of the year with another couple, and therefore not
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: too much one on one time for the two of us.
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: My wife's sister and her husband would definitely be bummed
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: if we said no, but I know they'd be understanding.
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: They're going to go on the trip regardless. So here's
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: some extra context. The four of us have never on
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: a trip together. We don't live in the same city,
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: so we don't spend much time together. This is their
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: first and only child. He's currently four months old to
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: be eight months old. Then, My wife and I like
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: babies and kids, but we don't want them ourselves anyway.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: I big thank you to the four of you for
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: doing what you do. Every week.
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: I catch myself smiling and giggling. We're listening to you all,
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: and I hope you know us scrubbers are very appreciative
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: of each and every pod you put out. Scrubbing In
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: is the only party I listen to that I have
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: notifications turned on for.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: Oh that's not Wow, Wow, big deal, honor deal.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: What if y'all got separate airbnbs so that there was separation,
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: you felt like you had your time, and then y'all
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: also got to see each other and spend time together.
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: I think that would be not met not received well
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: by her sister.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: I agree, But what what the other option would be
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: not going? Wouldn't that not be received all?
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: So if it were me, I would say, Hey, I
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: love this idea of getting to spend time with y'all
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: and travel with y'all, But since we only take one
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: big vacation a year, you know, I just want to
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: make sure that we're both getting what we want out
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: of this vacation. And I think if we had separate
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: places that were like even close or walkable to each other,
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: if they can find that, I think that would get
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: that would be a win win for both of us.
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: I think, as far as the sister's concerned, your best
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: option is, we'd love to go.
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: It sounds great. Two, I'm sorry we can't make it.
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: Three is we'd love to come, but it's not spend
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: much time with you like I think that's how she'd
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: receive it.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: I'm leaning towards option two, not going, not going.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: I think one. I think go have fun.
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: It's your sister, you don't see her very often, and
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: it's your new nephew who you've barely spent any time
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: with because you don't live in the same city. Go
• 20:43
  Speaker 4: have a blast in Portugal with your sister.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: It's her wife's sister.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: Oh, but it's still it's your nephew.
• 20:50
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: But there is a different type of like.
• 20:55
  Speaker 7: Uh huh, what's the word like grace or what's the
• 20:58
  Speaker 7: word I'm looking for, Like like you have a little
• 21:00
  Speaker 7: more tolerance and capacity when it's your blood related sister
• 21:04
  Speaker 7: versus like I'm saying because she's the one who wrote in.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: I will say this, Okay, traveling, what I hear is
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: traveling with a baby before one is the easiest time
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: while a child, Like while you have a child that's
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: like a baby like that, like the time before they
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: start walking is like the easiest time to travel with them,
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: is what I hear. So if you're gonna do this vacation,
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: I would say do it now.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: I just feel like life, life's and things are happening,
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: and if this is your one chance of the year
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: to have that like uninterrupted time with your wife where
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: you it's like your one trip together that is like
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: so precious. You know, you work really hard, life happens.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: If you want to spend more time with your nephew,
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: perhaps a weekend a trip to Portugal is like a
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: big trip, you know, like that's a big trip.
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: What a blessing that you can take an international trip
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: every year? So yeah, another one next year, I say, go,
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: I say, And by the way, a key element to
• 22:13
  Speaker 4: this that we don't have, how does your wife feel
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: about this? It's her family?
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Well she said that her wife. No, her wife. They're
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: having reservations, which is why I am writing in all right, fine,
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: the more people, the more complicated against.
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: That plays a big role because it is her family.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you.
• 22:29
  Speaker 5: I'm with Tanya in this one. And I would like
• 22:31
  Speaker 5: permission to be a brat for a second.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: Be a brat.
• 22:34
  Speaker 5: Here's what I'm thinking when I see this. The sister
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: and her husband want a babysitter, so they That's what
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: I'm thinking.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: Hey can you watch the kid? Well we got to dinner.
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: That's probably not going to happen, but and you probably
• 22:46
  Speaker 5: be delighted.
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: To do it.
• 22:47
  Speaker 5: But that's where I'm thinking. And When I hear like
• 22:50
  Speaker 5: new parents inviting other people, like wanting to go on
• 22:52
  Speaker 5: vacation with another couple, I think they're looking for babysitters.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: She did say yes for house for help, like she
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: did acknowledge that that is probably a part of it,
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: and it's you know that's that would annoy me.
• 23:04
  Speaker 5: I'm just saying, as a as a bar and childless man.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: With the two airbnbs, I think it's a win win.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: I think you get your compromise.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: You get to spend time with them when you want,
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: and then you also have your separate time. Because it'd
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: be different if if they were like, hey, we'll cover
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: y'all to come stay with us and and help out
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: with the baby if we need it. They're not doing that.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: Do you get your own airbnb? Go to Portugal is
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: amazing from what I hear, It's one of Hailey's favorite places.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: You travel to and you both get an amazing trip
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: and you get to spend time with your sister in
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: law and your nephew.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: Charge it to the game.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Well, that leads us to our last question, which is
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: the Love Island question.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: An all right here it is, well, we need one
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: more break.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, if there's on the Love Island when.
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: We come back, great Kirsty Kirsty or Kirsty I'm not sure.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: Which I think it's Kirsty.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, you just get the vibe from the font.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: Well because it's not a why Okay, I think.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: Kirsty like Kirsty.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: Wouldn't Kirsty be k why?
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: Firstly? Day one scrubber here? Just love you both to bits.
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: My question in quotes today is for Tanya, mostly since
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: she is my Love Island sister. I always loved Scott
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: in the other seasons and shows i've seen him on,
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: But do you think he's actually a bully on this
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: All Stars season? I don't like his behavior and I
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: find myself really disagreeing with his behavior this season. How
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: do you feel about him and the others that have been.
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: Not so nice?
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: Love you well and thanks for your continuous positivity you
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: bring to the world.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: There you go, Tanya.
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: Maybe you guys could just do it offline.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: I did not pick Kirsten. Kirst to Kirsten, Okay. This
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: email was put upon us.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: Upon it us, it found you, it found me. Thank you, becha.
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: This is a DM that I would respond to if
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: it were DM to me, and it was not. It
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: was emailed in, So here we go. I have never
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: watched any of Scott's prior seasons, and I was totally
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: thrown off when he was voted the best liked guy
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: on the island because I find him to be atrocious.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: I think he's so mean. I think he came into
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: the villa being mean to people. I feel like he
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: puts his nose in everybody's drama and I don't like him.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Hot take charge it, charge it. No, we're not charging
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: it because I don't like it.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: Okay, So you agree with her. I agree he's a bully.
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: But I've never seen I haven't seen his past seasons,
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: like to know that like he was beloved before, because
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: this season he's just been I mean bully. But he
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: was voted by the public as the most liked guy.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: So I was just totally thrown off by that.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: Which we didn't talk about this on Monday's episode, but
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: Traders last week was crazy.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: This show, this show is good.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: The spoiler alert, spoiler alert, do you feel like Rob
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: is playing?
• 26:23
  Speaker 7: Like?
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: Do you think? Okay? So here's the controversial take. Rob
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: threw Lisa under the bus.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: He did not need to do that.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: He didn't have to go so hard, but he committed
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: and he did it. But then Candace. My thought was
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: that Haley thinks that it set her up to be
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: able to like that Rob's gonna have to play with her.
• 26:45
  Speaker 6: Yes, yes, so you think that too, Yes, because I
• 26:47
  Speaker 6: felt brilliant moved by I felt like she should have
• 26:51
  Speaker 6: not played the game against Lisa and just been like, Okay,
• 26:55
  Speaker 6: I'm gonna be watching Rob, but I don't want it
• 26:58
  Speaker 6: to come across that we're all traders together.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: No, I fam with Haley. I think that Candace voting
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: for Rob makes makes it now that Rob needs to
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: needs to play with Candace because if they if it
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: comes out that he goes for her next, they're gonna
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: be like, why then, why did Candace have that random
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: vote for Rob? And then they're gonna get him?
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: I see.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: I think it was Candace being I thought it was
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: so brilliant. I don't think she needed to say it
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: was a throwway vote. I think she could have just
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: been like, I don't think it's either of them. I'm
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: voting for Rob.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: No, but I think a throwway vote made it didn't
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: feel so traitory and immediately because I think without saying oh,
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: it's a throwway vote, uh, people would have been.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: Like why yeah, yeah, what do you think about Rob?
• 27:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you're right all right. I'm excited to see
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: how it plays out. I thought it was gone. I
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: love her.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I just feel like Rob did it dirty because I
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: understand Lisa was a sinking ship. She was going home,
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: she was going to get voted off.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: However, I feel they also did a bad job defending herself.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, anytime, anytime anybody accuses you of being a trader,
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: you always need to say I'm a faithful and she
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: was just like I'm like, okay, her ship was sinking.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: But Rob could have just voted for her. He didn't
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: need to. He was doubling down and going in and
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: I don't think he needed to do that. I'm tired
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: of these men, these just hot men thinking they can
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: just run the show.
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: They can just be hot.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's enough. Like no, and no, you're sitting
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: back and letting the girls do the dirty work and
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: you're just sitting there playing chess. I'm over it. I'm
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: so over it.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: Easton, Before we go, how is Hillary duff in New York?
• 28:37
  Speaker 5: Oh my god, you guys, what an incredible experience. I
• 28:42
  Speaker 5: want to thank producer Sam for inviting me along getting
• 28:46
  Speaker 5: me to New York. I mean, I did not think
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: I was gonna get to go to any of the shows,
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: and I made it to New York City to see Hillary.
• 28:54
  Speaker 5: She was incredible. The new songs she played, I cannot
• 28:57
  Speaker 5: wait for that album to come out. Oh my god,
• 28:59
  Speaker 5: they're so good.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: How many does she play in the show?
• 29:01
  Speaker 5: She plays two that haven't come out.
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: Yet, four new ones, four new ones?
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 29:07
  Speaker 5: How many songs total?
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: Like twelve?
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: That's a lot. Wait, and I wanted to shout out
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: the scrubber that helped Crystal get tickets to what was
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: her name?
• 29:15
  Speaker 5: Her name is Ashley. She helped Crystal, who works on
• 29:18
  Speaker 5: the show, get into the LA show. So we all
• 29:21
  Speaker 5: because Sam, Crystal and I have like a Hillary Duff
• 29:23
  Speaker 5: like superfan group chat. So it was really fun that
• 29:25
  Speaker 5: all three of us got to go see Hillary on
• 29:27
  Speaker 5: this one.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: So we wanted to thank Ashley for getting Crystaline.
• 29:30
  Speaker 5: Ashley, you are our guardian angel. Thank you so much
• 29:33
  Speaker 5: for doing that. It was it was great, it was
• 29:35
  Speaker 5: the best.
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: It was worth the track out there.
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: Oh my god.
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I went out during that snowstorm. I was going
• 29:41
  Speaker 5: to go a day early and like hang out in
• 29:42
  Speaker 5: New York, be a little Brooklyn boy, you know. And
• 29:44
  Speaker 5: then my flight got canceled, and every other flight got canceled,
• 29:48
  Speaker 5: so I took a red eye. I had like three
• 29:50
  Speaker 5: canceled flights. I took a red eye. They sent my
• 29:53
  Speaker 5: luggage to the wrong airport, so I had I landed
• 29:55
  Speaker 5: in New York. Then I had to go from Laguardian
• 29:57
  Speaker 5: to JFK. I got my luggage, then I went to
• 29:59
  Speaker 5: the hotel. I worked, And I'm very blessed to be
• 30:02
  Speaker 5: able to do this, but like I've had very good travel,
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: like my entire life. I was due some challenges.
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah it happens to us when you head there in
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: a snowstorm.
• 30:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, anyone else giving me.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: But now Hillary is going on a world tour, world tour.
• 30:18
  Speaker 5: And I will be there, God willing will be at
• 30:20
  Speaker 5: one of those shows.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: Which one I don't think she's announced.
• 30:25
  Speaker 5: She has said world tour loading at her l A
• 30:27
  Speaker 5: show and uh, oh my god. Wait at the at
• 30:31
  Speaker 5: the Brooklyn show. So someone in the front row asked
• 30:34
  Speaker 5: her to sing the math and I started, like I
• 30:36
  Speaker 5: almost sort of going into a cobbe. I almost started
• 30:39
  Speaker 5: to passed out, and she's like, oh, the Math, the Math.
• 30:43
  Speaker 5: We love the Math, but not tonight. And I was like, oh,
• 30:46
  Speaker 5: but it's on the table. I think the next show
• 30:49
  Speaker 5: somewhere surprise song, yes.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: Exactly, Oh like a little Taylor Swift. Yeah, that'd be great.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: Well worth the world for you.
• 30:59
  Speaker 5: Thank you.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: I was a little bummed not to have seen it,
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: so I'll be hitting that world tour.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's right. Was a little left out I did.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like I wanted to have the butterfly
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: confetti on me.
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you deserve butterfly confetti. Yeah, I'll bring some over here.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: Thank you. We'll play Hillary Duff over the speaker. Yeah,
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: that's all for today on Dear Bonnie. I thank you
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: for writing to us, and you can DM us on
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: Instagram at scrubbing in pod or email us at scrubbing
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: In at iHeartMedia dot com if you ever have questions, concerns,
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: or you know, just need advice, yeah or love. We
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: love y'all so much and have a wonderful weekend.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: Love you by