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The Fifth Hour: Ink Stained Wretches Goblin · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Kabooms.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: The Clearinghouse of hot takes break free for something special.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now.
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: In the air everywhere, The Fifth Hour with me, Ben Mahler,
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: As we are side by side on this early Friday,
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: the twenty fourth day of April, which as always has
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: many dopey holidays, we have today's National Pig in a
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: Blanket Day, which allegedly was invented by Betty Crocker back
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: in the nineteen fifties. Although I'm gonna go on a limb,
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: go out on a limb and say that the pigs
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: in a blanket go back way further than that, right,
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: Just get a little puff pastry and wrap that around
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: the hot dog. There. I bet you they did that
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: back in the Stone Age and before that and Roman times.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: You name it, it is Pigs in a Blanket Day.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: Today.
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: It is also National Hairball Awareness Day, which I'm told
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: is about pets. It's about pet grooming, So that's exciting.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: On this podcast we have the ink stained wretches and
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: behaved like a goblin.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: So we have that to look forward to.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: And there is something that is wonderfully absurd about flying
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: across the country to eat pizza with strangers who already
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: know a lot about you. They know when you sleep,
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: they know when you work, They know more about you
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: than your family does. Now that would be what's going
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: on this weekend, as it is almost on.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Like Donkey Kong.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: A few hours hours from now, I will get out
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: of the remote studio. I will get into an automobile
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: and travel to the local airport, and then I will
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: make my way to the Big Strong's brick Oven Pizzeria
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: mallor meet and greet. We are about twenty four hours away,
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: a little more than that, which means I am about
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: to enter the great American tradition of travel that feels
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: like a scavenger hunt designed by a board airline computer. Now,
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: the local airport where I'm at in the north Woods,
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: there aren't a lot of direct flights, so that means
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: I will be zig zagging my way across the continental
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: United States, and it's making my way around a puddle
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: jump here connection there, try to avoid the middle seat.
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: You know that nightmare where your wedge between the guy
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: eating the tuna fish sandwich that has been heated up
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: for some reason.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know how that happened, and.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: The random woman who was watching the soap opera on
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: her tablet with no headphones and the volume all.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: The way up, living the dream, live in the dream.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: And yet there's something that I'm excited about a little
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: charm to it, because waiting on the other side of
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: this obstacle course of airports, and maybe I'll stop by
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: Denver and say hello to the real Martin. If I
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: end up stopping there, I believe I might be and
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: you going out, And this is not a business meeting. Obviously,
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: it's kind of a business meeting, but it's not really
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: a business meeting.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: It's not a rubber chicken banquet.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: We're going to a pizza joint, a mom and pop
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: pizza joint a mile from Cincinnati, where people have decided,
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: for reasons still under investigation, that this is a worthwhile
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: way to spend a random Saturday afternoon in April.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: And for that I am very grateful. It gets even better.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: My guy, Andy Furman, radio lifer, Cincinnati consigliere, a legend
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: in Cincinnati radio, has been working the back channels, and
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: he informed me. I said, Andy, I'm gonna be there.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: I want to thank you for helping me set this up.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: You're the guy. Everyone needs a guy. You're the guy.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: He says, no problem. Did you see the story? I said,
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: what are you talking about? So it turns out the
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: ink stained wretches have joined the promotion of this event.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: Something called the Northern Kentucky Tribune, which sounds like a
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: newspaper that was made up on Reddit. However, it's apparently
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: the real thing. It's apparently thriving, which is good to hear.
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: They ran a piece promoting the restaurant and indirectly promoting
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: the event. Yes, newspapers still kicking right up there, with
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: vinyl records, payphones and people that insist to use change
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: and cash when.
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: They're checking out.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: You know, I get behind that old dude who's he's
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: got to give the exact change, and his hands don't
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: move as well, and his fingers a little sluggish, and
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: he's like, I'm trying to get the money and he
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: delays everything. It's like the slow poke that drives in
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: the fast lane. So anyway, this article in the Northern
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: Kentucky Trimune quoted me, which is always risky, you know.
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't recall talking to him. They must
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: have taken this off the radio show. And then Cindy,
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: who runs the joint the pizza place with Steve. I
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: did speak on the phone with Steve, so they Sindy
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: in this story. She casually mentioned that they're getting calls. Well,
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: that made me feel good. From Dayton, from Cincinnati, human
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: beings picking up the telephone dialing numbers, asking what time
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: is Ben getting there. That's when it hits you that
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: this goofy little hangout thing we call these malor meet
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: and greets, this is turning into a minor expedition for people.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: It also tells you that I've not done a good
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: enough job promoting the event. I've been trying to do
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: it every hour during the week here the last couple
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: of weeks and getting people prepared for it, and I
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: guess still people listen with half an ear.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: They're like, I don't know what day, what is it?
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: What time? Now?
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: No ticket is required. I've gotten some emails saying, oh,
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: do I need to get a ticket? No, there is
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: not a ticketed event. I'm pretty sure there will be
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: no red carpet, there will be no velvet rope, just pizza,
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: some conversation and possibly some live music from Dick and
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: Dayton and Ohio. Al that's the plan anyway, big names
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: in the malad militia who are scheduled to attend from
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: all over the place. Of course, we're there for the
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: good people of Ohio and Kentucky that are going to
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: be able.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: To make it. It's going to be great.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: So in a world of overproduced everything everything, this again,
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: these things feel rebellious.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: I don't know if they are not. I'm not sure
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: if they're rebellious or not. It just feels it feels rebellious.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: You feel me on that? You got me on that?
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: All right? Very good?
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: Now, meanwhile, we turned the page on that and doing
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: the radio show this week, there was a moment that
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: stood out that I wanted to highlight and just address
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: it right here. So I've been getting some email what happened,
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: and this is that the moment when the illusion cracks, right,
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: the illusion cracks. So now this didn't shatter dramatically. It
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: just kind of flickered. It had a light bulb that's
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: starting to die, that faulty light bulb in you know,
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: in your house, or like in the movies, it's always
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: the haunted theater.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: You know, it's it's scary.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: So earlier this week, during an otherwise rather routine overnight
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: shift through the audio wilderness, we experienced one of these moments.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: Think of it like a faulty light bulb, not a collapse.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: Not a collapse, not a scandal, not even a particularly
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: consequential mishap. In fact, I was thinking that no one
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: even paid attention to this. Somehow, someway though you did.
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: There was a technological betrayal that exposed the very fragile
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: choreography backstage behind the performance. So some of you noticed
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: you seem to always do that, and I thank you
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: for paying that close attention. So the emails arrived with
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: a familiar cocktail of concern.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: There was some curiosity there. Everything okay with you? Did
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: you have a medical episode? Was it a cognitive lapse?
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: One guy who's a Clipper fan said you sounded like
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: Ralph Lawler when he had like a thing where he
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: was off his meds or whatever on a clipper broadcast
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: years ago. So at this point I would channel the
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: ghost of Paul Harvey and I'd have him right there
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: and in tone. And now, oh, for the rest of
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: the story. You know what the news is anyway, you know,
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: doing this this radio thing, and it's theater of the mind.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: And you guys, and you know who you are, have.
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: Been conditioned to assume that any deviation from.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: The norm, from the rhythm.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: The rat tat tat of the show, must have some
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: kind of meaning. Silence is never just silence. A stumble
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: is never just to stumble. It must be intentional. It's
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: gotta be intentional, right, So that old thing. Now, just
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: for the record, this was not human failure what I'm
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: about to tell you. It was something far less noble
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: and far more modern, a laptop behaving badly. Say what
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: so the culprit, and I'm pretty confident in this is
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: the do hickey, not the thing of a jig, and
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: not the what you might call it. This is the
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: do hickey, and very precise. It's odd, but it's precise. Now,
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: each week, let me tell you a little bit how
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: we make the sausage. So each week the corporate overlords
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: at iHeart the machinery that hums along, keeps everything going fine.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: Fine folks, really good people. So they delivered in my inbox.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: Every week I get an email with the commercial copy
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: for the following week, and I get that.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: On a usually Thursday or Friday for the following week.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: And sometimes there'll be late minute changes or last minute changes,
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: and so it'll change and I'll get a follow up email,
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: like on a Tuesday. Hey, this spot's a little different,
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: So this copy is not mere filler. You can't understand
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: the way this works. This is not college radio. This
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: is not NPR where we just have rich people send
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: us money. It is the economic engine of the Ben
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: Malor show, broadcast the invisible scaffolding, if you will, holding
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: up the cathedral of.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: The mal Or Militia.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: And the job is is rather simple, I would say,
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: deceptively simple. You transfer those emails with the copy the commercials,
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: You arrange it, and then at the assigned times the
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: advertiser wants the commercial red.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: You do it not that hard. This is what we
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: do now.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: We do do it a little differently because what we
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: do and I don't listen to a lot of the
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: other shows, and I try to do my own thing.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Not that I don't like them.
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: I have some great friends that work at Fox Sports
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: Radio and other stations around the country.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: I just try to do my own thing. And I'm
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: like a chameleon.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: If I hear somebody doing something, I end up like, hey,
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: I should do that, and then I don't even.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: Try to do it. It just happens. So the thing
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: that I'm told.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: We do differently is in the seasoning. It's our secret recipe.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: Not quite up to the eleven herbs and spices of
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: the kernel, just a dash of improv little sprinkle of
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: an inside joke, mention of j Dot in Utah or
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: you know, randomly jj and or no Stridinis or someone
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: along those lines. It's our proprietary blend of references that
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: we think and who knows, you'll be the judges that
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: transform a commerce into entertainment.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: And if I can convince.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: One person to listen for the commercials I know ferg
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: Dog and Alf and those guys and mal Ard prop Guy,
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: I already do that because they get mentioned pretty much
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: every show. But for the rest of the Hoy POLOI
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: to tune in, and I have gotten people who have
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: emailed me, Hey, can you mention my name in the spot?
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, well, okay, that's very odd.
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: It's like you must be listening to every commercial, which
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: is freaking great. The engagement is outstanding, and that's I
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: believe because of the secret recipe that we put together.
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, hey, I got to read these commercials,
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: which is great. It's part of the job. So why
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: don't I dress them up a little bit, you know,
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: go out at night in the town. It is, in
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: its own way, a culinary performance. The script is the recipe,
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: and in this case, I guess I'm the chef. And
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: then you wonder, like what happens when the recipe refuses
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: to stay still, like you know, you're making chicken, the
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: chickens still alive running around.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Well, that's a problem.
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: So in this particular night during the week, the I
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: forget you. I don't even know what day it was.
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: I think it was early in the week. So the
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: copy did not behave like it was supposed to. You know,
• 13:28
  Speaker 3: it's a laptop, it just stays on the screen. This
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: thing behaved like a goblin. It was like a goblin.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: I'm telling you. Words were flickering lines vanished. The screen
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: became a carnival, but a mirror at the carnival, reflecting
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: nothing I needed. So I do the monologue, I do
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: the teas, I pause for a second, we get to
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: it next or whatever, and then I got to do
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: the copy. So imagine, if you will, trying to read
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: a script, and again I use it as my bullet points.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: So imagine trying to read a script for an advertiser
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: while someone continuously rearranges the words on the page. Imagine
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: performing Shakespeare while the lines dissolve mids soliloquy, right, just like, oh,
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: you're doing this soliloquy and the thing's dissolving now. The
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: result is not tragedy exactly. It is pure chaos and
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: chaos and a live radio show is audible. It's out there.
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: It's unlike the podcast, and we do a bad podcast.
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: It doesn't have to be promoted, we don't have to
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: put it out there. The pauses came first, then the repetitions.
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: As I'm trying to find what I.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: Need to say.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: I repeated myself a few times on some phrases as
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: I tried to find what I was looking for. And
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: I'm attempting to pin it down, and like a butterfly
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: that just kind of flickering around and it didn't want
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: to get caught, and as like, oh my god, and
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: to the untrained ear, it possibly probably sounded like hesitation.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: Now to the trained ear, it was something else entirely.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: I was just trying to chase the script across the
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: digital void, trying to find it. So there's almost something
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: poetic about this, you know, it's it's radio.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: It's old school media, right old the.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: Blue blood media, one of the oldest electronic media forms
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: out there. Undone by not by incompetence, no no, no, no,
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: it was over complication the simple act of reading aloud,
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: which is kind of important when you're doing commercials. And
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: we didn't have the paper. We went digital, and now
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: we have layers and layers of bugs and glitches and
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: things that can get in the way. And the dow
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: Hickey was the problem on this one software and I
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: rebooted my computer, I updated my computer. I was still
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: having some issues with it, and it just was very frustrating.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: And so you as the listener, of course, you fill
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: in the blanks. You always do, which is great. I mean,
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: I'm so blessed, so lucky to have you guys as
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: supporters of the show. And this concern turns into speculation,
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: and then of course some people want to diagnose what happened, like,
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: let's get to the bottom of it, and in the
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: absence of information, the mind creates its own narrative.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: The mind wanders a wandering mind. Was this fatigue, Was.
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: This illness something more ominous that went on. The human
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: instinct is to, of course personalize malfunction, as we all do.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: It make it about you, and you try to locate
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: the flaw in the gas bag rather than the machinery.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: It can't be the machinery. It's got to be the blowhard.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: It's got to be the person who is on stage
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: dancing like a trained seal. However, the truth, as it
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: often is, far less dramatic and more absurd. The host
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: was not having a brain fart. The tools were having issues.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: The tools were having issue issues. I should say there's.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: A certain amount of irony here.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: The commercials, which are meticulously crafted by major sales and
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: advertising marketing people, and that is a revenue generating machine
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: that we need. It's the bare necessities. I've often said,
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: and I'm not totally kidding. The most important part is
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: the commercials, the very source of disruption. Well, it was
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: the commercial and so the thing that must go right
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: above all those I could f up. I can just
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: sit there and read random Wikipedia pages for the monologue, okay.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: I could pick my nose and bite my fingernails for
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: ten minutes or fifteen minutes, and as long as this
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: commercials are in, that's okay.
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: And so this thing.
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: Went obviously off the rails, spectacularly wrong. And yet even
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: in malfunction a not a mallor malfunction, a laptop malfunction,
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: there was performance. And if you only knew the flop
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: sweat that was coming down my face, I was scrambling around.
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: I was trying to like Fortunately, these commercials are usually
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: pretty much the same. They move a few sentences around,
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: so I've got them memorized. I just like to have
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: the copy in front of me just in case, because
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: I do add some extra stuff.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: I do the improv.
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: I do the improv, and so I'm trying to regain control,
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: and I'm moving the mouse around to do hicky things
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: not working, and you just part of the show of
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: the show. Now you could argue that This is radio
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: at its most raw, honest point. It's not the polished,
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: seamless product, just the messy, you know, getting in the mud,
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: unpredictable reality beneath it and the best laid plans of
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: mice and men and you, the consumer.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: You were giving a little glimpse behind the curtain. Let's
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: see what's going on behind the curtain.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: And what they saw or what you saw, was not
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: a breakdown. Definitely a struggle. I'm not gonna sit here
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: and say it was. It was a struggle like a
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: professional wrestling type thing in real time. It was all
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: because of an uncooperative laptop the machine. Now, in the end,
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: no harm was done. The show continued, the commercials were read.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: Eventually some of the emails were answered. I did not
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: have a chance to write back to everyone. So if
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: I did not get back to you, I apologize. I
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: get lots and lots of email and I have a
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: certain amount of time I have to go through that
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: and respond, and if.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: I don't get to it, I just move on. That's it.
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: The mystery has been resolved. Now the episode still kind
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: of lingers, not as a failure. This is just a
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: reminder to follow the creed of the scouts. You must
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: be prepared, always be prepared, very important to be prepared.
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: And in an age of digital precision, right where everything
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: is supposed to work flawlessly, there is something almost comforting
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: about the glitch, the dow Hickey not working. It reminds
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: you that even the most routine part of your job,
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: this turned into the fact that it was able to
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: get on the air.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: And I should have said, I don't have the copy.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: It's minor miracle.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: And we're dependent on all of these unseen elements aligning perfectly.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Everything's got to line up for this to work.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: And if not a problem, of course, I could always
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: go back to the hard copy, the printed copy, which
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: is I do get some of those every show that
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: the end of segment spots. And this has been a
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: heavy week for commercials because of the NFL draft, which
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: began last night and will continue through the weekend at
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: least part of the weekend.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: Here is today and tomorrow, so you've.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: Got that and anyways, a listen when things don't align
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: the way they are supposed to align. When that does
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: not quite work, you know, things start flickering around the
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: screen kind of betrays you. You and then you're left in
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: this frantic game of whack a mole and you're like,
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: I kind of remember what I was supposed to say,
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: but I'm repeating myself and this is.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: Not good, And oh my goodness, isn't it that whole thing?
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: That day? It worked out? You know, it's the old
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: line and we.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: Talked about this in previous episodes of the podcast, that
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: the show must go on. The show must go on, which,
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: if I remember correctly, and we did this as a
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: phrase of the week a long time ago.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: I'm sure Lucky Tony can dig around and.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: Find that episode of the podcast and exactly what minute
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: of the podcast. He's like the mister Skin of the
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: Fifth Hour Podcast and the Ben Maller Show listening to
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: old episodes. However, you go back and there was an episode,
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: if I remember, that the show must go on. It
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: was either that or go break a leg. One of
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: those two was like, hey, you know, the audience paid
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: is back in the year days like the Shakespeare days,
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: people paid money to see the show, and the show
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: must go on. You know, somebody dies on stage at
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: a show, you don't want to give refunds, So how
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: do you not give refunds. The show must go on.
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: The show must go on. And that's that's that. Also,
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: I did want to mention this. It is I only
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: thing I mentioned this at the beginning. It is national
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: bucket list today, which is ironic because we have the
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: Mallard Meet and Greet which is tomorrow in Newport, Kentucky.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: And some of you have.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: Said, and I found this rather shocking that it was
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: on your bucket list to go to a Mallard Meet
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: and greet. I was like, well, you really want to
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: hang out with JT. The wing there, you know, you
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: want to hang out And I get it. Queen Roxanne,
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: Robbie the Mariner fan, big time people.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: He I was like, wow.
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: I was both honored that some said that and a
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: little scared cause Mallard Meet and Greet is not like
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: just about anything else out there. We have a very
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: eclectic group of beautiful people, solid sweet souls that get
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: together and we just have a grand old time, a
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: grand old time.
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: Anyway, on that note, I got to get out of here.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: I got the.
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: Things to do, I got to make sure I got
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: everything packed. It's a short trip, the weekend trip here
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: to the Cincinnati area and then we'll be back to
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: do the radio show on Sunday, but we'll have new
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: episodes all weekend long. I've got some things planned for you,
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: and the mail Bag will have a special episode of
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: the mail Bag that'll be on Sunday, and I'll tell
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: you more about that as we go through the weekend.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: And I can't wait again. Thank you all for reaching out.
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: If those of you gonna be able to attend. This
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: is the one hundred and fourteenth day of the year,
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: the one hundred and fifteenth theyre, which is tomorrow the
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: big Malor meet and greet. Excited about that, so be good,
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: stay safe.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: We will hopefully see you tomorrow. If not, you'll hear
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: the podcast and the whole thing. Helloha, bye bye.
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: See that's what Dick and Dayton says. Dick and Dayton
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: says bye bye. I don't know if he's going to
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: say that when he drops the mic with Ohiol at
• 25:09
  Speaker 3: the thing tomorrow, but he'll say bye bye. That's his line.
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: I used, the Dick and Dayton line. In't that special? Yes,
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: it is all right.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: I'm out population