Latest / Long Distance Friends / Single Mom Life: You Don't Have to Do it Alone - with Tina Sanders
Transcript
- Christina (Tina) Sanders: I got pregnant young. So now I have something to prove. I have to prove that I didn't waste my life. it was a very terrible divorce. I ended up with PTSD literally tormented for years, I couldn't work. I was literally declared disabled. the darkness was so dark that I was in my bedroom and I was crying out I just heard what I distinctly remember as being the voice of God just telling me to come home. Anna Casey: wanted to dedicate a portion of our conversation today to talk about the single mom life Christina (Tina) Sanders: there's nothing that I can or that I actually do in my life without the grace of God. support is really major for me. Lean on the support system. If you have somebody in your circle that you can call on, do it. Anna Casey: What's up everybody? And welcome back to Long Distance Friends. Today I have on a very dear long distance friend of mine, Tina Sanders. Tina and I met in Clarksville, Tennessee, where we were both co-leaders of the youth group there at the church there at Life Point Church. And I immediately fell in love with Tina. She is such warmth and light and In any room that she walks in, she's so approachable and down to earth and truly is superwoman in my eyes. And I had to have Tina on the podcast today because Tina is somebody who goes after life fiercely and unapologetically, and truly works so hard to to carve her own path and to provide a great example for for her family and her son and her family legacy. And so, Tina, thank you so much for coming on long distance friends today. Christina (Tina) Sanders: Anna, thank you so much for having me. I am thrilled. I don't know who she's talking about. but Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: I'm happy to be here. Anna, you are absolutely amazing ever since I've seen you. Like you said, we clicked first, first and foremost. I love serving with you. You're always a joy. And I'm so grateful. Thank you so much for having me here. Anna Casey: I'm so grateful too. So, my first question for you is would you tell people listening just a little bit about your story? We're gonna, we're gonna get deep into Tina's story today, okay? We're gonna get in the weeds, but like but let's start like from the beginning. You like I said, you are such a warm and positive person. And I I'm just curious, like, have you always been this way? Like, was this little Tina like growing up? Or is that something that you sort of like embraced later in life? Christina (Tina) Sanders: Ooh, thinking about little Tina. I feel like there are parts of myself that were always there when I was younger. I enjoyed having fun. I was the only child. So believe it or not, I actually am very introverted. I recharge alone. so when I got into the outside world, yes, they saw the Anna Casey: Okay. Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: bubbly, they saw the fun. I was always busy, I was always in the activities. But as far as embracing the fullness of myself, I I wouldn't say that I did that. and I'm using that embracing the fullness of myself very loosely. but I just felt like I never allowed myself to truly be myself because I was always subconscious about how I was being perceived. So it's a little double Anna Casey: Yeah. Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: edged. Anna Casey: I totally get that. I feel like I was born with little antennas that are just con that's just like constantly assessing how other people view me. Like I am always, always alert to like what do they think of me? What do they think of me? And it's exhausting. So we're working on it. But I don't know if you can relate. But yeah, that's what made me think of that. Christina (Tina) Sanders: yes. I definitely can. And I love how you said they're like little antennas because that's exactly how you feel. You're in the room, you're scanning. And Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: for me, I would think through what I was gonna say, already trying to perceive how it would be perceived by the person in front of me. So it would tweak my response. It was Anna Casey: Yes. Yes. Christina (Tina) Sanders: tiring for sure. Anna Casey: Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. so tell me more about growing up you are such a hard worker. You are such a go-getter. tell me more about what made you you. Christina (Tina) Sanders: Ooh, okay. I love this question. It honestly goes right back to childhood. like Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: I said, I grew up as the only child. I grew up as the only child to a single parent. So it was just my mom and I and I dealt with a lot of abandonment wounds for not having my father there. So I Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: grew up very confused, you know. I thought that at the time I felt unlovable and unworthy. We're diving in deep already. but it it's a such a a seed was planted back then that grew into performance, if that makes sense. It grew Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: into this ambition of me going out and getting things done and accomplishing because it made me feel like, well, maybe I am worth something. So if I strive and I'm going from this level to the next level, it was rooted pretty early. with school accolades, A and B student, A and B honrol. I was in all the clubs. I was a majorette. I was a a basketball manager, a softball manager. Like I was always in the mix, if you know what I mean. and Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: that just trickled over into adulthood. And for me, because I immediately got I immediately graduated, went off to college, and then ended up pregnant my freshman year. So everything that was Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: rooted already just fully took shape. And so after that, then everything became, I got pregnant young. So now I have something to prove. I have to prove that I didn't waste my life. I have to prove that Anna Casey: Wow. Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: there's still something within me that can be shared with the world. The life wasn't over. Anna Casey: Yeah. Wow. What wa what was that experience like, getting pregnant so young? Like as a freshman Christina (Tina) Sanders: Mm-hmm. Anna Casey: in college? Christina (Tina) Sanders: It was difficult. And I say that because Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: the boyfriend that I had at the time, we met while I was still in high school. He was already graduated and I actually moved out with him my freshman year against my parents' wishes. By then my mom had remarried and I had moved Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Okay. Christina (Tina) Sanders: from Memphis, where I am born and raised. I had moved from Memphis to Clarksville. And that was in two thousand nine. so I graduated 2011 and so we met around the 2010, mid 2010. And so I thought this was forever. You know, you meet a guy, Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: you all click and you think, this is gonna be great. We're gonna be soulmates, all the things. so Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: I moved out against my parents' wishes once again, and immediately found out that was not the best idea. As soon as I broke the news that, I'm pregnant, he was not a happy camper. gave an ultimatum and I did not take it. And Anna Casey: wow. Christina (Tina) Sanders: so he was like, okay, well, I'm out. and so Anna Casey: Wow. Christina (Tina) Sanders: I ended up having to pay all the bills. We were working Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: together at the time. And so I was a server at one of our local restaurants here. And I moved up into management. And so it was me serving and then I became an operation supervisor at 19. ended up having my baby and my mom said, Look, I know you can do it, but you don't have to. Please come home. Like, please let me help you. Because my mom, she had me fairly, it wasn't that young, but she knows what it's like to be a single mom because she raised me. Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: So I eventually said yes, and I moved back home. And what did I do? I took the summer off. And then I ended up going right back to school. Anna Casey: Wow. So at that time, remind me of your son's name, your oldest son? Jaden. he's so sweet. Christina (Tina) Sanders: Jaden. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Anna Casey: he was what, like less than a year old then? When you went back to school? Christina (Tina) Sanders: Yes. He so he was born two thousand twelve. and then I went back actually so I took summer, I took a year off. So he was born sorry, July two thousand twelve and I went Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: back to school twenty thirteen. But instead of going to Austin P like the university, I went to a local Nashville State. So like a a state college. Anna Casey: Okay. Christina (Tina) Sanders: I ended up like losing my scholarships. I ended up kind of flunking out just trying to make ends meet. And so I decided to go to a a smaller college. And honestly, it was the best thing that I could have done. It was more Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: flexible for now my adult life, you know. So Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: I got to go to school at night. I got to just do really cool things that allowed me to grow as a student now with a child. Anna Casey: Mm. Wow, that's amazing. Aww, I love that your mom said, I know that you can do this, but please come home. That is so sweet. I feel like that just needs to be like a like a you know how people put sayings on their walls? Christina (Tina) Sanders: Yes. Anna Casey: Like that's a good one. That's so sweet. Christina (Tina) Sanders: I know. It was so sweet, honestly, because I I wanted to tough it out, but I caved. Anna Casey: Yeah. that's that's amazing. thank you for sharing that. this was not a question that I prepared you for, so we can edit this out. But what do you feel like you would go back and tell yourself, as a young nineteen year old Tina that just found out she was pregnant, what would you say? Christina (Tina) Sanders: Mm, that's good. What would I say to my 19-year-old self? I wouldn't be me if I didn't invite God into the story. Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: so honestly, I would tell myself that I don't have to. You know, that Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: my success or whatever that looks like isn't dependent on what I can and can't do. It's dependent on me trusting on someone bigger than myself, which would be the Lord for me. So Anna Casey: Yes. Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: I would tell myself. Honestly, I would just introduce myself to the Lord. If I could just give my nineteen year old self that gift, that Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: is what I would have done. Anna Casey: that's beautiful. I just got chills. That is awesome. Yeah, I love that. You don't have to do this yourself. That's really good. Christina (Tina) Sanders: Yes, because that just yeah. It led me down so many spirals. I mean, at nineteen years old with Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: a baby, it it was rough just mentally, emotionally, physically, and yeah. So I kinda lost my way for a little bit. Anna Casey: Yeah, for sure. What do you think was the hardest the hardest thing during that time? Just like juggling all of these different things? Or was there part of you that felt like your years had been stolen from you in a way? Or like what for you like what was the hardest thing to overcome in that time? Christina (Tina) Sanders: That's a really good question. Honestly, and I'm a psychology major. Okay. I have two psych degrees and decades of therapy. so just looking back, I would say Anna Casey: Yes. Let's go. Lay it on us. Christina (Tina) Sanders: j what was the the hardest part for me is having all of those old wounds confirmed, seemingly confirmed. Just not having Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: my father there, feeling unworthy, feeling unlovable. Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: And then having someone that I cared so deeply about Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: just leave and abandon not only me, but a child that we both brought into the world. I didn't Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Right. Christina (Tina) Sanders: know it then, but again, after a decade of therapy, I I Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: saw that that wound it just it watered it. And so it grew, you know, it grew Anna Casey: Mm. Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: into alcoholism, it grew into just Acting out, it grew into wanting to be loved. It grew into even more performance because not only that, now I have a child. My dream was to go to school, to be a business owner, to have this career. And if I'm being honest, when I was younger, I I wasn't the girl dreaming about marriage and babies. I told Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: myself that I wanted to be a nurse practitioner so that I can own my own practice and just run this business. So now I saw myself in the situation thinking, what am I supposed to do? And again, I was the only child. My first time ever changing a diaper was in the delivery room. So I didn't have much practice. Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: I didn't really know what I was doing. And that just looked like, okay, how are we gonna push forward? I put myself in a sense on the back burner because at that point I was Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: living with my parents. but I never Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: got to live an adult life outside of being a mom. Anna Casey: Mm, yeah. Yep. Christina (Tina) Sanders: as far as professions. So my mom ended up doing a lot of the heavy laboring. His mother was very active. She ended up doing a lot of the heavy laboring and I Anna Casey: wow. Christina (Tina) Sanders: would work. I would work all night. I would work all day. I would go to school. I went to school from 6 PM to 9 PM and then I would want to have fun. so it just took me in all of these cycles of just being lost, not having an identity, trying to find my identity outside of myself. Outside of the Lord. and so it it was just more confusion on top was already on top of what was already rooted there. Anna Casey: Yeah. Wow. Thank you for sharing. So you like you mentioned like alcoholism and like acting out and like performance and all these things. Was this when you started to like experiment with different religions and stuff like that? Just kind of like trying to reach at whatever you could to to like numb the pain essentially. Christina (Tina) Sanders: That's a good question. So interestingly, I ended up finding I didn't I don't wanna say finding Christ because like we were Christian, right? We were the family that claimed Christianity, Anna Casey: Okay, yeah. From Memphis, right? Christina (Tina) Sanders: Did I have a Bible? Maybe. but I know my grandmother did. You know, she went to church Anna Casey: Uh-huh. Christina (Tina) Sanders: every Sunday, and we live with my grandmother for a better part of my life. So Anna Casey: Okay. Christina (Tina) Sanders: she would go to church every Sunday, and I would go to church with her often. But then once my mom stopped making me go, I guess, I just wasn't going. And so I would say, even when I was younger, I would reach out for the Lord. Like I have vivid memories of being in the bathroom. in the bathroom on the floor, crying out to the Lord. Was that a personal relationship? I don't know. But I I knew that I was reaching for something. I even have a vivid Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: memory of me looking in the mirror crying, like, why did you send me here to this earth? Anna Casey: No. Christina (Tina) Sanders: So I wouldn't say that I never knew the Lord, as far as knowing of him. But when I got older, like that period, I wasn't reaching for him. because at that point I probably thought that he had banded me too, you know? And so I Ended up getting married. 2016. And I met my ex-husband. plot twist. We're divorced already. but I met him inside of my old church before I went to Life Point. And I went Anna Casey: Spoiler alert. Okay. Christina (Tina) Sanders: to that church in 2015. So about four years after my son was born, we ended up going to this church. I loved it. I ended up being the secretary, all all the things, all the doing things, right? I ended up becoming a church secretary, joining a choir. I was a majorette. So I took that skill and I would twirl for the Lord. And we would go all over the the Southeast, and the the South Mississippi and then up Ohio. We would go to all these different churches and just performing, you know? So I had this very performative Christianity. And it was Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: 2000 probably 17, like a year after our marriage, my ex-husband has started bringing up things about the church and bringing up things about different religions. And that doorway got me very curious. Like, okay, what is Buddhism? What is Hinduism? What is these? Egyptian gods and goddesses. So through that experience. a whole world had opened up to me because I didn't know anything about it before. And it just seemed like as soon as that door opened, so many things. I mean, of course, you know the algorithm listens to you now, but back then, probably Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: even more so. We just didn't know. but my phone was pointing me in that direction. We would meet people. There was this random lady who would just give us all of this information about these other religions and things, ended up making us a whole binder it of just Stuff, right? Hidden secrets. And so it sounds a little quirky, but this was my life, literally. Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: and so just going through all of those things, I I became fascinated, if I'm being completely honest with you. Anna Casey: Mhm. Yeah, it's like because it's so different than anything you'd ever known. And like there are so many options and things in like history and like people believe this. And so like I you know, like people really do. And so I totally can understand how especially if you weren't finding fulfillment, like deep fulfillment in where you were at, how you would start searching in other places, right? Especi and especially if your husband at the time was like, I'm gonna look into this. It's like, well I guess I will too. Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Anna Casey: do you want to share about any of the specific ones that you got into and like what that was like for you? Or are you just like, I'm leaving that in the past? Christina (Tina) Sanders: No, I mean it's all a part of the testimony, you know? Like I'm literally smiling right now, but back then it was dark. so I don't mind talking about it. Okay. So what really stood out to me when like once that doorway was open, I feel like were the Egyptian gods and goddesses. That's kind of where I Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: got stuck. And also the new age things because let's see. So I ended up 2018. I ended up starting a business because at this point, my ex-husband and I, we were on the fritz, things weren't working really well. I ended up starting a vegan business because I went vegan. We went vegan together in 2016. And so by 2018, I was cooking all of these meals. Yeah. 2018. I was cooking all of these meals. I started selling them. And I was like, you know what? I want to put everything into this business. So I quit my job and then w I started cooking. He started delivering. and then he was like, Well, I wanna quit my job too. And I'm thinking, Who's gonna make the money? 'Cause these place aren't gonna Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: pay the bills, I can promise you. so then we had moved out and moved in with his family. And so I had I had just gotten this really dark pit. and I had my son. He had his son. So I was a stepmom at the time. also, or a bonus mom, I should say. He was my little baby. Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: but we had had child we had children, we had a whole life, and just moving in with his mom, it was just, it was chaotic. And at that point, I had spiraled really, really bad. And so I got into this really dark depression. And I thought me getting out of it looked like self-love. I just needed to love myself more. and at that Anna Casey: Mm, mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: point, I had gotten into crystals, into like herbal herbalism, like looking at the plants and looking at the different metaphysical properties of them. And I started making these little oils. And I thought these oils would bring me all of this peace. And so I just started making one. My first one, it was called Goddess Glow. And it was an oil that was supposed to help. Like that goddess energy come out, the self-confidence. And so it went from that to tarot cards. And I would start it reading cards for myself, just looking for anything that I could grasp that would help me get out of this pit that I was in, Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: help me strengthen whatever that I was looking for and help me reach this self-actualization moment, right? And Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: That because I felt like it was helping me led into a whole business. So then I started an LLC called I Create Life and things just kind of took off from there. I was self-employed for a couple years. things, mm-hmm. Yep. And making oils. And I would ship oils all over the world. I would read terracosts for people all over the world. It was Anna Casey: Like reading tarot cards to people. my gosh. I have a story for you. What? No way. Christina (Tina) Sanders: An adventure for sure. Anna Casey: my gosh. Okay, so I have to tell you this really quick. So I have one experience Christina (Tina) Sanders: Okay. Anna Casey: Okay. I have one experience with tarot cards. So Christina (Tina) Sanders: Mm-hmm. Anna Casey: you're gonna laugh. but I so was into it like very casually and like had a deck and she's like, let me read your tarot cards. And I was like, I was like, what is this? Like, I don't know about this. Christina (Tina) Sanders: Yeah. Anna Casey: I was like, is this demonic? Like what's going on? but so she read them and I don't I don't remember how it goes. So you will probably know better than me. This was like ten years ago now. But she like flipped over the card or I guess she like asked me a question and she was like, what is your greatest desire or like greatest hope? Like what do you want to do with your life or s like something along those lines. And I was like, I want to be like a writer and a speaker. And she flips the card and it's the one that's like death. It's like the black one that's like, this is like bad news bears. Like I don't remember I forget which one it was, but I don't know. I think I had like a snake or a skull on it or something. And she looked at me, she's like, she's like, You cannot do that. She's like, This is bad news. Christina (Tina) Sanders: Yeah. wow. Anna Casey: and now look at me and I'm like, have the podcast and everything. But I remember distinctly like Thinking in that moment, I was like, this is such BS. I was like, this just makes me want to do this more like I'm gonna do this now because I feel like that was not from God. but anyways, it's just kind of a funny story. And that's my one experience with tarot cards. Christina (Tina) Sanders: for you. And I'm so glad that was your experience because The enemy parades around like an angel of light. So he comes through that, but he's gonna always tell you Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: the exact opposite. So I'm so glad that was your experience because I've Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: seen it go the other way, obviously. You know, when he tells Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: you things you want to hear and then you get trapped. So I'm s I'm glad you had that experience. Anna Casey: yeah, for sure. what is your take on tarot cards now? Now that you're like on the other side and you've been through it and you became an expert in it, right? Like what would you tell people about tarot card readings? Christina (Tina) Sanders: What I would tell people about tarot card readings is they're demonic. The Bible literally Anna Casey: Mm, mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: speaks against fortune telling and it's it's not of God. It's not the Lord. It's literally, it's literally the enemy. The only good spirit is the Holy Spirit. So anytime you're consulting Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: a spirit outside of the Holy Spirit, it's demonic. Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: I don't care how cute it comes through, I don't care how nice it sounds, I don't care what desire it sparks in you and you notice within your story she asks you the question and you gave her the answer. You Anna Casey: Mm. Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: see what I mean? Like that's how the enemy works. And the Bible even tells us that he likes to pry on our desires. You can't be tempted with something that's not already within you. So the enemy loves to poke at that. And so when you get these tarot card readings, prayerfully none of you do, but if you do Anna Casey: Ha. Christina (Tina) Sanders: if you experience it, if you really pay attention to what's coming through, test it. You know, just just test it because it comes through like glittery diamonds and all of these things, but it literally is the enemy of your soul. Anna Casey: Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Definitely like a at a minimum a distraction, right? At the very lowest harmless level, it's a distraction, right? Yeah, minimum. Christina (Tina) Sanders: At minimum. Anna Casey: Okay, so you have this business. reading tarot cards, sending crystals, what'd you say, all over the world? and then what changed? Like what happened from there? Christina (Tina) Sanders: Yay, my favorite part. so let's just I do have to say this too. So within me having this business and all the things, my ex-husband and I ended up getting divorced in 2019. And I will have to say, my life went downhill from there. The more it's like I got that boost at the very beginning to hook me into the darkness of new age and all the things. And then after that, my life just Plummeted, you know. it was a very terrible divorce. I ended up with PTSD and being literally tormented for years, years upon years, by, you know, little little baby demons. But at the time it was a darkness so dark that I it was nothing that I could have lifted myself out of. It got to a point where I never wanted to leave my house. I I didn't have friends because I pushed them all away. I couldn't work. Like I was literally declared disabled. I ended up being able to go back to school, which I'll talk about, because I took some time off after I got married. but I ended up being able to go back to school because I went through a program that paid for school for those that were disabled. So it was that bad, like very debilitating Anna Casey: wow. Wow. Christina (Tina) Sanders: PTSD. But I got to a point in 2021. Where the darkness was so dark that I was in my bedroom and I was crying out to the Lord. And I just well, not to the Lord at I was crying. You know? because at that point I had denounced Christianity. I mean, it was it was very, it was very dark. so I had just got to the point where I was just crying out in my bath my bedroom and I just heard what I distinctly remember as being the voice of God just telling me to come home. And to trust him. And I was like, trust you. Like last time I trust you, I ended up divorced, assaulted, Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: and now I have PTSD. Like, what do you mean, trust you? Because in my mind, I trusted you when I found this man in the church. You know, like I thought my life had finally gone Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: on this new path, all of these things, and it had been nothing but destruction. That was my response, you know. And he said it again, just so gentle, didn't argue, you know, just trust me. And then I just broke down right then and there. And I was like, if you want me to trust you, you're gonna have to, you're gonna have to help me because there's no way that I can do that on my own. And so that was Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: in 2021. From that point, my life did a complete 360, you know? It wasn't even 180. It well, yeah, 180, not 360. It was a complete about face. Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: It took me a while to lay down the tarot cards because at the point that was my only income. So I was just like, I don't know what you want me to do. But I Anna Casey: Mm. Okay. Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: then I got into like hypnotherapy, and so I became a hypnotherapist because psychology was my thing. I loved people, I loved being able to help people become better, you know. I just wanted Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: people to be a better version of themselves. That was my ideology. And so I went into hypnosis, I went into helping people there. And that was my outs of putting down the tarot cards. And I was like, okay, Lord, I'm done with the cards. And he kept chipping away in my heart bit by bit. So in 2022, I was like, okay, I'm done with the cards. I literally threw away everything. I threw, I probably had over 30 decks of cards. I threw them all away. Anna Casey: Wow. Christina (Tina) Sanders: Cause at first I was thinking, I spent hundreds of dollars on Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: these. I can just resell them, you know? The Lord was like, Anna Casey: Right. Christina (Tina) Sanders: Nope, throw them away. Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: And so I got rid of everything. I got rid of all the crystals, all the little little idols, because I had literal little statues that I would pray to and altars that I would that I would build, candles that I would light. I threw away everything. and so through that, 2021, after I said yes to Christ again, I ended up being able to go back to school. Found out that if I at the time I was a business management and marketing. student found out that if I switched to psychology, I would get done in a year. Ended up going back, got done by 2022 after I gave up everything and start doing this. I ended up being able to not only graduate but get into graduate school. And so from then and he paid for it all, might I add. Like as soon as I gave God my yes, my life it it just like the darkness literally lifted off of me. I Didn't have to worry about rent. The program that I was in paid my rent the whole time I was in school, not only for the rest of my undergrad, but also throughout all of my masters. So I ended up not having to pay rent for like four years, which was my biggest fear. Now Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: I didn't even get to the fact that during my divorce I was pregnant with my youngest. And so Anna Casey: wow. Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: after having to leave my husband, I was now on my own. without income and then raising two children. So my biggest fear was not being able to pay rent by myself. And so Anna Casey: Yeah, yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: he took care of that. I was able to go back to school and it just refocused me, you know? So yeah, that was my story. And then in 2023, this when I found Life Point. it was January 8th, 2023. And I wanted to go in and I was sitting there looking at Life Point on TV. And I was thinking, man, I missed it. My son and I were running late. And so we were just gonna watch it online. And I was holding him in my arm and I remember looking at the service and saw that it was Baptism Sunday. So for y'all that don't know Life Point, we only baptize people the first Sunday of every month. So because I was so irregular in attendance, I had no idea when baptism was. And I knew I wanted to get rebaptized because I just felt so spiritually dirty and heavy after doing all of that exploring. And so I just wanted to feel refreshed and just really solidify my new found just faith in Christ. So when I saw that, I kid you not, Anna, I was like, my goodness, I can't believe I missed Baptism Sunday. And my son just looked at me and said, I want to go to church. And I said, Bet we going to church. So we got dressed real quick. I had on leggings and a black t-shirt. We got in the car. We went straight to Life Point. I got in the door at the tail, probably tail end of service. And I just ran through the door and I was like, I'm here to get baptized. It was so dramatic. But it it was nothing but the Lord. And they were like, okay, we're gonna get you dunked. And so they gave me a shirt. We Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: I ended up getting baptized and I've been sold out for the Lord ever since. Anna Casey: that is so sweet. your son. I love that story and his contribution to that too. That is so precious. so that was now three years ago. Which is crazy that that was only three years ago. Because when I met you in twenty twenty four, the next year, I you I just only see you as a person that is like thriving, absolutely thriving. Like you would never, you would never know, having met you, that you had been through all that and that was your story. and I know I said this before, but in my eyes, you are superwoman. the way that you are able to raise as a single mom, like raise your two sons and like go to school and go to work and volunteer and like do all of these things and do it in a way that is so beautiful. I I just look up to you so much. And so I wanted to dedicate a portion of our conversation today to talk about the single mom life because I see you some as somebody that I know you I am sure it is not perfect and I am I'm sure that you have your things that you are working on. but you do it pretty dang well, Tina. So what would you say to any single moms listening who are struggling or who are, you know, still trying to figure it out? and I know that we talk about integration over balance, right? Like how balance is a myth and and things like that. But like how are you able to to do all of the things that you do and do it so well as a single mom? Christina (Tina) Sanders: yes, so man. I promise I'm not a Bible thumper, but God is good. Anna Casey: Well you are going to seminary now, right? Christina (Tina) Sanders: Exactly. Yes. So I get to buy to talk about the Bible all the time. God is good. Okay. but yes, honestly, there's there's nothing that I can or that I actually do in my life without the grace of God. Like literally, I think about this all the time because even what I said about school, I wasn't even able to go back to school without the Lord. Like He was in that. Anna Casey: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: He provided the opportunity for me to go back to school for free. You know, like I didn't have to worry about rent. They paid for my school. So I got I finished my bachelor's and I got a master's degree by the grace of God. Right. And throughout that, I was I was not employed. I ended up finding opportunity. I was contracted. I was self employed. So there's grace within that. So I got to be home with my boys. I got to well, they were not homeschooled. I'm not that mom. Sorry. Anna Casey: You be there. Christina (Tina) Sanders: I I don't have that grace just yet. but they when I did come home, I got to be present with them. I got to be able to take them to school and they didn't ride the bus. And so I got all of this extra time with them and I got to take care of myself, right? My mentor. I got to go on walks and all of these things. so I would say just take care of yourself and lean on the Lord because there's there's nothing that I would be able to do if I'm not okay. Right. So I am a Jesus plus therapy currently. I go I still go to therapy, even now. Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: and I didn't even get to say that the Lord completely healed me from PTSD. So all of those like dark thoughts and nightmares, like I do not have any of that. In 2024, Anna Casey: Wow. Christina (Tina) Sanders: I said, Lord, I don't want to have to depend on medicine. I don't want to have to live with this for the rest of my life. Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: And he took it. You know, there's You know, I I prayed about it. I I didn't just stop taking my medication. I talked to my doctor. I talked to my therapist. But there's just it just goes back to when I had when I was suffering with PTSD, I don't feel like I was a good mom because I would get so agitated and irritated just from that irritability that the PTSD called caused that I was not the best parent for them. But Leaning on the Lord, He was able to take that. So now I can be fully present with them. I can deal with them screaming and being rambunctious without losing my mind, you know? And even now, Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: like you mentioned, going back to seminary, that's all by the grace of God. And I'm still trying to figure out how I'm gonna be full-time employed, be a mom, and also be a full-time master of theology seminary student. Cause I haven't met Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: that version of me yet. but even within Anna Casey: Aww. Christina (Tina) Sanders: the process, I've seen the fingerprints of God, even with paying for it. It's a very expensive degree. And it's if I'm just gonna be frank, it's almost it's it is. It's ten thousand dollars a semester. And I Anna Casey: Wow. Christina (Tina) Sanders: was thinking, Lord, how am I gonna pay for this? And do you know my advisor randomly was like, Okay, I think there's a special scholarship that you may qualify for. Let me figure it out and I'll get back with you. Lo and behold, the very next day she said, Yes, you qualify. And it gave me 50% off my tuition. Not only Anna Casey: Amazing. Christina (Tina) Sanders: on top of that, it also she also found another random scholarship that gave me another thousand dollars off my tuition. Like that's literally nothing Anna Casey: Wow. Christina (Tina) Sanders: but the grace of God. So I'm saying all this because even within motherhood, there's nothing I can do. I'm a single mom, a single income household. Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: And I do have a full time job, Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: but there's a lot of dependence here, you know? And I Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: have to depend on him to get me through it all. support. Anna Casey: Ooh yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: Having a support system is major because Anna Casey: Yeah. Christina (Tina) Sanders: God's grace is good. And I feel like He also provides through physical provision, right? So Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: if I'm again full time employed and I'm a development manager, so I'm a fundraiser professionally and I have a lot of events. I'm in the process of planning an event right now and it's on the weekend and it's in the evening. So support is really major for me. Lean on the support system. If you have somebody in your circle that you can call on, do it. Don't be for me because at first I was like, well, I don't want to bother them or what if this or what if that. But no, in order for me to be able to accomplish the things that I need to do, I have to lean on my support system. And I'm grateful for them. And they there are people out there that want to help. So from my experience, not being too prideful or too ashamed or too whatever to ask for help has proven to be pivotal for me. Anna Casey: That's really, really good. Do you wanna give a shout out to your support system? Who's your support system these days? Christina (Tina) Sanders: Absolutely. So my mother and my father are still here. they support me in a myriad of ways. and my god sister, her name is Taylor. She's absolutely amazing. She's a college student and I can literally text her right now and say, Can you watch my babies real quick? I need to go to this event or go there or whatever. And she's I'm there. There were times where I have I commute. So I I commute an hour away and for work. And so I'll text her and say, Hey, I have to go to work in the morning. Can you keep my boys during the summer? Ooh, so glad summer's over. But she would be at my house at five thirty in the morning so that I can get on the road by six, six thirty, and she'd be here till five, six PM until I got back. Anna Casey: Wow. my goodness. That's amazing. That is incredible. Christina (Tina) Sanders: Yeah. Anna Casey: Shout out to shout out to the village, right? It's say that it's they say that takes a village and you have a great village. Aww. Christina (Tina) Sanders: Yes, it does take a village. Anna Casey: Very cool. Christina (Tina) Sanders: Mm-hmm. Anna Casey: well, Tina, thank you for sharing your story today and being so honest about every turn that it took. I know that there's gonna be so many moms listening who are encouraged by you and inspired by you. and most importantly, see God right in you and in your story and see the hope. that is there and the grace that is there. and I hope that people listening also feel like they can come home too, right? Like just like your mom said and like just like the Lord said. I feel like that was like a beautiful thread in your story of like come home. Which is really, really sweet. so my final question for you, Tina, is what do you hope that your kids remember about you? Like as they grow up and as they look back on their story about growing up, How do you hope that they tell the story of growing up and their mom? Christina (Tina) Sanders: I love that. truly, I hope that my boys, out of everything, especially my oldest, that they see a fighter who loves the Lord. My son, my oldest son, he's been there through it all. And I Anna Casey: Mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: really pray, I pray all the time, actually, that he sees someone that never backed down from a fight of life because life happens. Anna Casey: Mm, Christina (Tina) Sanders: And even if life knocks Anna Casey: mm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: you down or tries to knock you out, like you do not have to stay there. So above all else, I really pray that they see resilience. I pray that they see faith, real faith, and that they want that. I just like I tell my my little community, taste and see that the Lord is good. I pray that my boys Anna Casey: Mm-hmm. Christina (Tina) Sanders: get to taste the Lord and see that He's good through their experience with living with me. Anna Casey: That's beautiful. That's so good. Tina, thank you for coming on long distance friends today. I'm so, so grateful for you. Christina (Tina) Sanders: Thank you, Anna. Thank you so much for having me. This was definitely a great chat with a friend. Anna Casey: Peace.