Latest / Yes And Land / Luca and Seeing Problems Differently | Ryan Boswell on Perspective, Identity & Growth

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Luca and Seeing Problems Differently | Ryan Boswell on Perspective, Identity & Growth · Yes And Land

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  At the start of my career, I bounced from an
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  AI startup over to a mechanical engineering firm,
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  building a technology startup over to a nonprofit,
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  building the community of business people and
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  business owners here in Utah. Then I moved to
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  Indiana to run a cold plunge business. From there,
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  stepped into a hedge fund that my partners had
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  started, which I'm now a general partner in.
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  And so all of these things over the last four
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  to five years have just been a result of me trying
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  to get as much experience as possible. Even when
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  things are going wrong, they're going right.
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  All of those things. had to go wrong in order
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  for them to go right in that given moment as
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  i started to listen to this bruno in my head
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  i realized how frequently that i was doing that
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  whenever i was alone in the sauna like i would
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  actually talk back to myself and i'd be like
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  but like i would be sitting in the sauna and
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  i'd hear something i'd be like no that's not
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  the way it is and i think for me the the Bruno
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  Ryan, that happens when I don't take the time
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  to slow down. Yeah. Isn't there a quote in the
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  movie where he says, like, silencio Bruno, silencio
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  Bruno? Yes, yeah. And then big Massimo, who's
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  this huge guy, he's the biggest guy in town,
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  he comes up and he's like, I know who they are.
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  And you're not sure at this point in time, is
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  he gonna be like, yeah, they're monsters, let's
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  kill them, right? Or what is he gonna say? And
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  he says, I know who they are. They're Luca and
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  Alberto. Truly, I think that this is one of the
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  hardest things in life. It is near impossible.
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  unless someone is actually willing to do it and
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  go through the hard stuff to change your frame
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  of someone else but as you start to then take
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  those things that you think about and put them
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  into action that's where you start to take more
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  control over your life and your living life not
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  living life as life is letting you live welcome
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  to yes and land where we say yes to the reality
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  of yesterday and today and we say and to the
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  possibility growth and imagination of tomorrow
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  Welcome to Yes and Land. Super excited today.
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  We've got a great guest. Has a wonderful name.
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  His name's Ryan. Ryan Boswell with us today.
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  Ryan has a number of different business ventures
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  that he's been a part of. He's actually a pretty
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  young guy and yet one of the most connected guys
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  that I know. Runs a business. He's a general
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  partner in a hedge fund. Has a number of different
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  things that he does as well. Super excited to
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  have that conversation today. So welcome to the
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  program, Ryan. Thank you. Thank you. It's good
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  to be here and great name as well. And today,
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  what we're going to be doing is talking a little
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  bit about the way that we see problems or things
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  that come up or situations that we encounter
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  and seeing them in a different way to solve those
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  problems or take advantage of the situations
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  we're presented. And we're going to do that through
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  the lens of a great Pixar, Disney Pixar movie,
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  which is Luca. which i know you like right absolutely
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  uh you've you've watched that with uh with your
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  little one yeah am i getting that right yeah
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  um definitely a fun movie and it'll be a really
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  good opportunity for us to take a look at that
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  through this lens today as well so uh so first
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  off the way we want to start is just you telling
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  a little bit more about um kind of how you got
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  your start and how you got to where you are being
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  CEO of a company and general partner in a hedge
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  fund and the different things you're doing. Yeah,
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  it's a good question. And I'm excited to be here.
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  This conversation is going to be really fun.
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  You know, my story kind of dates back when I
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  was in high school. I started doing social media.
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  That was kind of where I started. That was my
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  generation was like the first generation to get
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  Instagram in high school and figuring out how
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  to like post and have friends and be building
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  content and burner accounts and all of that fun
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  stuff. And that was where my career really began
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  was in posting social media for myself, doing
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  social media for other brands. By the time I
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  was 18, I had like seven or eight different sponsors
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  that sponsored me for content on Instagram and
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  YouTube. I was doing longboarding content, just
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  kind of general lifestyle. I had no idea what
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  I was doing. But that led into me really having
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  a knack for marketing and building businesses.
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  Kind of bounced around in the beginning of my
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  career. I did two years of college before I dropped
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  out of college at Utah. Valley University here
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  in Orem, Utah, and really just tried to figure
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  out what I wanted to do. I have always been big
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  on different perspectives and trying to find
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  different ways to do things. I realized early
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  on that there wasn't just one set way that things
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  could be done or should be done. And so I kind
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  of set this goal and this mindset of when the
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  goal is to experience, everything is a win. So
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  even when things go wrong, even when crap hits
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  the fan, even when you run into problems or you
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  get into arguments, for some reason that's supposed
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  to happen. As long as you're experiencing something
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  and you're not just stuck when you experience,
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  everything is a win. And so for five years at
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  the start of my career, I bounced from an AI
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  startup over to a mechanical engineering firm
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  building a technology startup over to a nonprofit
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  building the community of business people and
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  business owners here in Utah. Then I moved to
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  Indiana. run a cold plunge business. And while
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  I was there, my business partners ended up being,
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  we kind of had a whole portfolio of some startups
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  and businesses that we were building together.
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  And then from there, stepped into a hedge fund
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  that my partners had started, which I'm now a
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  general partner in. And so all of these things
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  over the last four to five years have just been
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  a result of me trying to get as much experience
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  as possible. And so my day -to -day now, tying
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  all of that together, comes down to capital and
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  connections. Primary day -to -day is our hedge
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  fund. We do capital raising. We have an investment
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  strategy, about 1 ,500 investors in that group.
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  That's been growing for about four years now.
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  So that's kind of my day -to -day primary there.
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  But then really my favorite part of what I do
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  is I get to work with a lot of really cool people
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  over here, but I also have all of these businesses
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  and startups and ideas that people are building
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  that are looking for either strategic connections
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  or strategic capital to help them grow. And so
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  when I'm not raising capital or working on our
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  hedge fund, my kind of other focus is brokering
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  connections and finding ways to make special
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  projects happen. So an example, someone could
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  send me a text and be like, hey, we're looking
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  to buy two crumble cookie franchises up in Baltimore.
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  This was a text I got in January. Do you have
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  someone that would be interested in putting up
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  $240 ,000 for a six -month short -term loan with
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  X percent of the amount of interest? And I sent
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  one text over to a person and said, hey, this
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  is another deal that popped up. He's like, yes,
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  I'm in. Send me the details. got them together
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  and within about a week and a half we had the
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  deal funded so I'll take a lot of those projects
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  and find ways to put people together to broker
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  connections to help other people make their ideas
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  happen and all of that just going back to what
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  I said earlier of kind of that perspective when
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  the goal was to experience I didn't know five
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  years ago fast forward to now that this is what
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  I was going to be doing yeah but I knew that
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  when I could just hop in find somewhere to help
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  someone out being able to identify someone's
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  problems, helping them understand, hey, yes,
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  this is a problem, but there's a way that we
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  can get over it and get around it. By the way,
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  most of the time, that's either going to be through
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  something I can do or someone that I know that
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  can help you solve that problem. We take all
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  of that, put that together, and help them take
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  their idea and opportunity to market. I love
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  that. So one thing that I wanted to pull on a
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  little bit more, and this might be because my
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  son's in high school, so of course I'm thinking
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  about, like, what is he going to do after high
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  school and for college? So I heard you say you
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  did two years of college. and then you didn't
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  anymore, okay? So walk me through, or walk people
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  through what your advice would be about somebody
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  who is gonna finish up, maybe wanting to further
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  their education, but they're also maybe have
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  a little bit of that entrepreneurial blood in
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  them, like it sounds like you certainly do. What
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  was that experience like for you, deciding I'm
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  gonna do some college, but then... I'm now moved
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  on, I'm going to do these other things, I have
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  these opportunities to do? Yeah, it's a really
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  good question. My path with college was a little
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  bit different. I actually... There's a few ways
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  that I could kind of go about and explain this,
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  but my path with college was a little bit different.
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  I got into college and realized that what I really
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  wanted to do was business. I was pre -marketing.
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  I took one marketing class in college, and that
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  was the one that inspired me to drop out of college.
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  I had this professor. His name is Ryan Schill,
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  who's a really good friend of mine. It was basically
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  an entrepreneurship class through the lens of
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  marketing, but he was just teaching us about
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  all of the different basics and fundamentals
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  of this concept of what marketing is. was and
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  and i knew that i was really interested in it
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  but i didn't actually know anything about it
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  i didn't know the acronyms i have had no accolades
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  or anything like that but he was telling these
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  stories of how he took taco bell into costa rica
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  and how he had built this online car parts business
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  and how he had all these other businesses that
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  failed and i just realized i was like that's
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  what i want to do but i'm not going to do that
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  sitting here theorizing over how to build a business
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  plan how to do it i realized that what i needed
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  was actual experience from people and so i set
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  out the goal to go learn and connect with people
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  that were actually in the trenches to find opportunities
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  to be able to do that and at the time i was running
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  the social media and the athletics department
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  at uvu i got connected over through a mutual
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  friend whose father -in -law was starting a tech
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  business and he was like hey i need someone to
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  help me with social media and marketing i was
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  like sure let's give it a shot like i had to
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  google what is artificial intelligence my first
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  day on the job. I was starting day one. I think
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  it was June 13th, June 12th. That night, I was
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  Googling, what is AI? I don't know what this
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  is. I was 20 years old. I had no idea what I
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  was doing. But my path for me came about, really,
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  it happened by looking at realizing what I wanted
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  to do or looking at and analyzing what I wanted
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  to do, which was business. And I realized that
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  the only way that I was going to really figure
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  out what I wanted to do was by doing things.
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  And so I know that that's different for different
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  paths, right? Like my wife went medical. She
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  was an x -ray tech and then did echocardiology.
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  She was an echo tech, so she did heart ultrasounds.
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  Like she's very, very smart. She had to stay
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  in school and had to follow her specific program
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  to go through and get those certifications for
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  her to do that. But with business, like I would
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  much rather take someone with experience than
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  certifications. that's been through the trenches
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  and actually understands it and you know for
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  example moving to indiana to take over a struggling
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  business that had three thousand dollars in the
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  bank and we had payroll due on friday and we
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  were a couple hundred thousand dollars in debt
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  and we had we were three months behind on rent
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  had to figure out how do we get to break even
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  keep the store alive save all of those things
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  with a zero dollar marketing spend that's experience
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  that i would not trade anything for in the world
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  and so for me it came as a result of having i
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  in my opinion specifically with with business
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  i'll say this i think college is there to help
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  you figure out and get an idea of what you would
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  like to do sure life is there to help you figure
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  out what want to do and for me I just realized
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  that I needed to go test this theory of I want
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  to go in business I want to go in marketing but
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  I need to test that in a variety of different
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  situations to see if I actually do want to do
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  this because I see it time and time again whenever
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  I'm guest lecturing at universities is a question
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  that's always brought up whenever I'm talking
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  to people that are like established into their
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  career I see it way too often where people are
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  in their dream job in an industry that they hate
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  and they didn't get that experience testing out
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  seeing hey I love doing this but I hate doing
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  it for this specific industry. So I don't know
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  if that helps, but that's kind of how I look
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  at it. I think it's interesting. You know, as
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  I've thought a lot about my experiences, because
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  as an attorney, I had to go to school, right?
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  That was kind of the requirement. But I decided
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  to study business in undergrad because I thought
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  it was interesting. I liked it. So I thought,
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  I'm going to do something that's interesting
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  that I like studying about because I don't want
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  to major in poli sci like everybody else or English,
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  yuck. I didn't like that at all. But through
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  my college experience, one of the things that
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  I've kind of come to a realization of is one
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  of the ways that people can take advantage of
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  a college experience is in connections. And it's
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  a stark contrast for me. Undergrad, I didn't
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  at all. I went to the University of Utah, which
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  is like a classic commuter school. Never lived
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  on campus. I wasn't a part of any organization
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  at all. I just went to classes, mostly worked
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  full time, went at night. So I didn't make a
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  single friend in undergrad, which is crazy because
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  I love people. Whereas in law school, the law
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  school I went to, you have to, you don't have
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  to, but they say you're not supposed to work
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  at all. They make you sign something saying you're
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  not gonna work, because you're gonna dedicate
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  all your time to school. Now I had a few classmates
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  that did, I won't name them. So I was in school
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  all the time, and it was hard, but I built connections
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  with my classmates. And I started to understand
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  and appreciate the value of those connections.
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  And one of the things I was hearing from your
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  story is, build a connection with your professor.
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  And you start getting connected with these other
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  things. I think a lot of people don't understand
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  the value of the connections they can build if
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  they're going to go to school, especially if
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  it's business. Now, it might mean they end up
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  taking a different path after and they don't
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  finish, but there is some value in the connections
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  you can make and creating genuine connections
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  with those people too. Well, and I think it's
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  important to distinguish here. And I talk about
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  this concept of connecting versus networking
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  frequently. Like I have a lot of people that
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  are like, oh, you're so good at networking. I'm
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  like, thank you. I don't like try though. Like
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  at the end of the day, it's just people. And
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  the thing that I realized was that right now
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  at this stage in my career, I'm 27 years old,
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  right? Like I have some good ideas, but I don't
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  have the fuel in the tank nor the experience
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  that I think that I'd necessarily need or the
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  right idea to go build like $100 million company.
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  But I do know that I'm really good and I've gotten
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  really good at diagnosing other people's problems,
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  figuring out what they need and finding ways
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  to help them. And in return, I then find success
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  like that. For me, it's never been about how
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  much money am I going to make up front? What
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  like what am I going to be compensated? What
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  do I get out of this? And that's where I think
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  a lot of people go wrong with networking. Like
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  I'd even in I guess I'll call it undergrad. I've
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  never referred to it as that because I never
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  even got my associate's degree. But like in my
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  undergrad, per se, like I. Saw so many people
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  and we were always getting advice like you need
• 13:52
  to network with people and you build connections
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  and this and that I'm like but how and then i
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  realized i like looked at what i was doing when
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  i was connecting with people at basketball games
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  or working in the athletics department and i
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  realized that i was just connecting like networking
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  to me is you have something that i want or i
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  have something that you want and so we're going
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  to network together and we're going to build
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  a network of people that can do that connecting
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  is we're going to connect and then when the opportunity
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  presents itself then we have the opportunity
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  to do something together right and i mean that's
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  kind of how we met too we went to a jazz game
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  we were chatting we we connected we found different
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  spots I was like, what are you working on? What
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  do you need help with? Oh, you're building this
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  cool thing. I've got the perfect person that
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  could help you build that with the right budget
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  and save you a lot of money. Let me connect you
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  guys together. That's my day to day now. And
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  it literally is just putting people together
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  and finding out every single day. It's talking
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  to a new person, figuring out what they're working
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  on, what they're excited about, what problems
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  that they're facing, and then having a solution
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  to be able to connect in together and finding
• 14:46
  ways to solve everyone's problems. And then as
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  a result, the effect, not the cause, is you're
• 14:50
  very fairly compensated when you do that. Right.
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  And then. My day -to -day now, literally, everything
• 14:55
  that I do revolves around helping people do what
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  they love to do. So I think that regardless of
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  if you're in your undergrad, if you're in your
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  master's degree, when you were connecting with
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  people in your law program, it was probably a
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  little bit easier because you had common ground.
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  It was easier for you to make connections because
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  you knew, if I invest into this relationship,
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  we have a whole career that we could be friends
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  together. Whereas in undergrad, not that it seems
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  pointless, but it's a little bit harder because
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  I felt the exact same thing. was sitting in that
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  marketing class I was surrounded by students
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  that while it was a general marketing class I
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  was surrounded by students that yes we're going
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  to be in that program for another three years
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  in college but I could tell that most of them
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  didn't really enjoy it they didn't really love
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  it and so I I wasn't incentivized to want to
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  build into that or stick around or stay inside
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  of that program because it wasn't gonna be what
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  I necessarily wanted yes that was a little selfish
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  but I think that if you're gonna be selfish it's
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  gonna be about your career in your life sure
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  but I think that the the most valuable thing
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  that come out of life are when we connect with
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  people on an authentic level and find ways for
• 15:56
  us to mutually benefit and help each other out.
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  Adam Grant wrote a book, Give and Take. Yeah.
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  And in that, he talks a lot about that idea,
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  right? That you have people who are takers. And
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  those are the traditional, like, that gives me
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  the ick when it comes to networking. Someone
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  who I can clearly tell that, like, they're trying
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  to network with me just because they want something
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  from me. And the question is always, like, what
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  I can do for them. And I don't like that at all.
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  And that's why I always hated networking, to
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  be honest. Like it was something early on in
• 16:22
  my career that at my last firm, they were very
• 16:25
  entrepreneurial and they would encourage me to,
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  but I hated because that's the only thing that
• 16:28
  I knew. Oh, go to these networking groups and
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  you're just looking for somebody that can give
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  you something. And that's why I hated it. And
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  once I started evolving in my career, especially
• 16:37
  as I opened up my own firm and started realizing
• 16:39
  like, hey, just creating genuine connections.
• 16:41
  and seeing what I can do to help somebody else,
• 16:42
  much like you do, that's brought me way more
• 16:45
  opportunities, and been much more fulfilling,
• 16:47
  to be honest. Because then sometimes I just have
• 16:49
  a genuine connection with somebody, and we don't
• 16:50
  end up doing anything together, but I learn something
• 16:52
  from them, right? And I learn something that
• 16:54
  they've done in their career, or I get connected
• 16:56
  with somebody else, and it's just a much more,
• 16:58
  I guess for me, fulfilling and enjoyable way
• 17:01
  of having connection, as opposed to this like,
• 17:03
  let's go out and be a taker and network that
• 17:05
  way. Or even, I mean, just as bad too as people
• 17:08
  who are just givers and only give but aren't
• 17:11
  willing to accept something back. Like one of
• 17:13
  the things you said was that as you've done that,
• 17:15
  you've also been fairly compensated. And so in
• 17:18
  this idea of having these connections, you do
• 17:19
  need to be willing to accept back when those
• 17:22
  things come, when those opportunities come. Yeah.
• 17:24
  And I think there's a difference between receiving
• 17:27
  and taking. right like yes i'm i'm not one i'm
• 17:31
  not one to call in favors very frequently like
• 17:33
  i could but i'm not the type of person that likes
• 17:36
  to do that like i in in my opinion my entire
• 17:39
  business model is is set up in the way primarily
• 17:42
  just on performance fees so like i'd i noticed
• 17:46
  that a lot of people whether that's in my industry
• 17:48
  doing business development or sales or brokering
• 17:51
  things like some people will charge like an upfront
• 17:53
  retainer and then they'll take a performance
• 17:55
  fee i like to just take the performance fee because
• 17:57
  in my opinion this really only works and and
• 18:01
  this is really only a win -win anytime i'm heading
• 18:03
  into a project or a deal like it it's really
• 18:06
  only a win -win if I win when you win rather
• 18:10
  than me charging you up front. And then you have
• 18:12
  to make and recoup those costs when we both win.
• 18:14
  And then you end up making less because you had
• 18:16
  to pay me up front. But then I'm also going to
• 18:17
  take a performance fee on top. Like I want to
• 18:20
  be just as incentivized and work on deals or
• 18:23
  projects or with people so that the only time
• 18:25
  that I win is if we all win together. And that's
• 18:28
  proven. I mean, that alone has helped me build
• 18:31
  some incredible relationships with people because
• 18:33
  it allows I'm always. You probably feel the same.
• 18:37
  When you first get to know someone, I'm always
• 18:39
  trying to sniff out, what does this person want
• 18:41
  from me? Is there something that they're trying
• 18:43
  to get? Are they angling for something? When
• 18:46
  I started adopting that method of, hey, I'm going
• 18:49
  to help you, and if you win, then I win as well.
• 18:52
  I'll just take a 20 % performance fee. When people
• 18:55
  realized that I wasn't trying to sell them anything,
• 18:58
  I was just like, let's just figure out what we
• 18:59
  want to do, how we want to do it, make it a win.
• 19:01
  it disarms people in a way where they're like,
• 19:03
  okay, I can let my guard down a little bit because
• 19:05
  I'm not trying to be sold. And I think that's
• 19:08
  actually one of the things that I noticed. I've
• 19:09
  got a project that I'm working on, on a contract
• 19:13
  on a business project, and I talked to you right
• 19:14
  before this interview. I looked at the stickers
• 19:18
  on your office when I walked in, and it says
• 19:20
  business law, estate, divorce attorney, family
• 19:24
  law, and then at the bottom it says business
• 19:27
  law. And I know that you guys are experts when
• 19:30
  it comes to... family estate divorce right i
• 19:33
  didn't i actually was wondering and and when
• 19:36
  i walked in today it confirmed i was like i wonder
• 19:37
  if he does anything with business because i need
• 19:39
  to ask him a question on a contract that i'm
• 19:40
  working on and from there we'd already built
• 19:43
  the connection and then when the opportunity
• 19:44
  popped up i knew who the person was that i needed
• 19:46
  to go to and that's just been the the model that
• 19:48
  i've tried to build for all my relationships
• 19:50
  because when someone feels like they're constantly
• 19:52
  being sold when someone feels like you're only
• 19:54
  connecting with them because they need something
• 19:58
  I was guest lecturing at a university a couple
• 20:00
  months ago and a student came up to me and said,
• 20:02
  hey, I'm looking for a job. Can I send you my
• 20:04
  resume and will you send me any jobs that you
• 20:06
  see open? I'm like, who are you? What's your
• 20:08
  background? What do you do? What's your last
• 20:09
  name? What's your first name? What do you want
• 20:12
  to do? What career have you done? What study?
• 20:14
  Like, what are you interested in doing? I didn't
• 20:15
  know any of that information, but it was just
• 20:17
  like, hey, you're connected. Looks like you do
• 20:18
  really cool things. Here's my resume. Can you
• 20:20
  get me a job? I'm like, I got to get to know
• 20:22
  you first. I can't make a suggestion or a recommendation
• 20:24
  if I don't know you first. that whole thing goes
• 20:27
  for everything in life you have to build the
• 20:29
  relationship first to be able to have that perspective
• 20:31
  and opportunity to then open it up to the rest
• 20:33
  of the things that need to happen yeah for sure
• 20:36
  one of the things we were talking about too with
• 20:37
  what you're kind of doing with these connections
• 20:40
  that you have and what people are coming to you
• 20:42
  for is problem solving And that kind of takes
• 20:46
  us to what our topic is today, which is how do
• 20:49
  we see the problems that we're facing? How do
• 20:52
  we look at those in a different way? And one
• 20:55
  of the things that I wanted to have you share
• 20:57
  about was your Porsche story that we talked about
• 21:01
  before of what happened one time when you were
• 21:04
  dealing with, I think it was the sale or purchase
• 21:06
  of a Porsche. And how you had to look at that
• 21:10
  differently. So if you wouldn't mind sharing
• 21:12
  that story and we can kind of talk about the
• 21:14
  lessons you learned from it. Yeah. Well, I think
• 21:17
  I'll start with I'm really big on perspectives,
• 21:19
  right? Like I tried to learn very early on. And
• 21:24
  not ever take the victim mentality, right? Because
• 21:26
  I realized that another kind of lesson and theme
• 21:29
  that I learned early on, even when things are
• 21:32
  going wrong, they're going right. So back in
• 21:34
  October, this is kind of a funny story. I actually
• 21:37
  had this other car that I was looking at buying.
• 21:39
  I would qualify myself as like a retro car collector
• 21:44
  now. It's not anything crazy, but they're cool
• 21:46
  cars and I like them. So I had this car out in
• 21:49
  the Midwest that I was looking at buying. I found
• 21:50
  it on Facebook. I booked a flight. I let the
• 21:53
  guy know. that i was coming out to check it out
• 21:54
  make sure that everything was good and then i
• 21:56
  was gonna buy it i was gonna trailer it back
• 21:58
  to chicago uh and then uh and then i was gonna
• 22:01
  have a friend ship it back for me um and so i
• 22:04
  booked the flight and i let the guy know that
• 22:06
  i booked it and three hours later he sends me
• 22:08
  a message he's like hey uh i just sold the car
• 22:10
  i'm like I just booked the flight. Like I'm coming
• 22:14
  out in two weeks. So I ended up going out because
• 22:16
  I'd booked a non -refundable ticket, mistake
• 22:19
  number one. But then I had also texted my high
• 22:22
  school. I was like, hey, I'm coming back into
• 22:24
  town. We kind of have this thing where I'll come
• 22:27
  back and speak if I'm in town and speak to a
• 22:29
  couple of their business classes. So I'd already
• 22:31
  confirmed for three straight days of me speaking
• 22:34
  at my high school too. So I did periods one through
• 22:36
  eight day one, one through eight day two, and
• 22:38
  then one through five day three. I'd already
• 22:39
  confirmed for all of these around this trip.
• 22:41
  So, trip gets canceled, and I'm just like, my
• 22:44
  goodness. Well, the purchase of the car gets
• 22:48
  canceled, but the trip is still going on. So,
• 22:50
  I'm looking at my phone, and I'm like, all right,
• 22:52
  let's just, I don't know, my go -to and default
• 22:55
  when I'm bored is I get on Facebook Marketplace.
• 22:57
  And so, I pull up Facebook Marketplace, and I'm
• 22:58
  looking at my phone, and this. really cool vintage
• 23:01
  Porsche pops up. And I'm like, oh, that looks
• 23:03
  really cool. I've always wanted one of those.
• 23:05
  It was about the same price as the car that I
• 23:06
  was looking at in the Midwest. And so I sent
• 23:09
  a message to the person. It looked like a really
• 23:11
  good deal. I sent a message to them. I was like,
• 23:13
  hey, I'd really love to come take a look at this.
• 23:15
  Would that be all right? And they're like, yeah,
• 23:17
  we have a couple other people that are interested.
• 23:20
  I was like, I can come look at it. I can come
• 23:22
  look at it this afternoon. They're like, okay.
• 23:24
  So I drive over. I go over like two hours later.
• 23:27
  I go look at it. It's a 1983 Porsche 944 five
• 23:31
  -speed manual. They're the original family owners.
• 23:35
  Her dad was the one that took delivery of it
• 23:37
  on July 1st, 1983. Garage kept, original everything.
• 23:42
  Like it was in beautiful condition. 47 ,000 miles.
• 23:44
  Like it just, it was a true, just like perfect
• 23:48
  find. And so I look at it. I asked her husband.
• 23:53
  to take me for a drive because i couldn't remember
• 23:55
  how to drive stick shifts because it's been so
• 23:56
  long so he takes me around the block i'm like
• 23:58
  yeah this thing's sick i'll take it uh i'm like
• 24:01
  how many other people do you have coming to look
• 24:02
  at he's like ah we have like six people coming
• 24:04
  to look at it on saturday this is a thursday
• 24:06
  i'm like i'll take it So I'm like, I'll send
• 24:08
  you 500 bucks on Venmo right now. Let me come
• 24:10
  back tomorrow and we'll complete everything.
• 24:11
  So I go back the next day and I had scheduled
• 24:16
  the wire and the payment to go through at 12
• 24:18
  o 'clock. And we were going to meet up at their
• 24:21
  house at one o 'clock and we were going to go
• 24:23
  and do all the paperwork. So I get there at one
• 24:25
  o 'clock. My wire still hasn't been sent. I call
• 24:27
  up my bank. I'm like, hey, I'm trying to get
• 24:29
  this wire to go through for this purchase. And
• 24:31
  they're like, OK, you're in the queue, but we.
• 24:35
  yeah, you're, you're in the queue, but I will
• 24:38
  just get to you when we get to you. And so I
• 24:40
  tell that to the, to the owner of the car and
• 24:42
  he's, they invite me in and they're like, you
• 24:45
  can just hang out. And why don't we just hang
• 24:46
  out until the wire goes through? It should be,
• 24:48
  it should be, you know, a short amount of time.
• 24:50
  Next thing I know, I've been in there like in
• 24:52
  his den and study and kind of living room area
• 24:55
  for like two and a half hours. So it's like three
• 24:57
  30 at this point, it's Halloween. My wife is
• 25:00
  like, Hey, we need to get back. We're going trick
• 25:01
  or treating. We need to meet at my dad's. We've
• 25:02
  got a two -year -old. It's her first like conscious
• 25:05
  Halloween where we're actually going to remember
• 25:06
  what she's doing. Um, and so I'm sitting in the
• 25:09
  living room and we ended up just having this
• 25:11
  phenomenal conversation, um, talking about, uh,
• 25:14
  life and career. And we get into it for a little
• 25:17
  bit and, and the dad goes, Hey, I, you know,
• 25:19
  I actually have a son that just got back from
• 25:20
  his mission. He's kind of looking for some, uh,
• 25:22
  for some career ideas and things that he wants
• 25:24
  to do. Um, would you be okay if he came and sat
• 25:27
  in with us? I was like, yeah, absolutely. So
• 25:28
  son comes in and then daughter comes in at one
• 25:31
  point, mom, we got the whole family here. There's
• 25:33
  like a party in there. or waiting for the wire
• 25:36
  to go through. And I'm looking at my phone every
• 25:38
  like 10 minutes because I'm just totally inconveniencing
• 25:40
  these people. But we're sitting there and we're
• 25:43
  talking and we kind of get into talking about
• 25:45
  my career a little bit, how I dropped out a year
• 25:47
  before I got my associate's degree. I didn't
• 25:49
  really know what I wanted to do, but I knew that
• 25:50
  I wanted to do something in business. And we
• 25:53
  go through this whole conversation and then we
• 25:55
  get into mental health. And mental health's a
• 25:57
  really big part of my story. A couple years ago,
• 25:59
  I got diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, depression,
• 26:02
  and OCD. That is what led me to doing ice baths.
• 26:05
  I then started posting my ice baths on TikTok,
• 26:08
  which led me to becoming CEO of an ice bath business
• 26:10
  in Indiana. There's a whole lot more that we
• 26:12
  can unpack there on episode two. But we get into
• 26:15
  all of this stuff and just how mental health
• 26:16
  has played a pivotal role for me in needing to
• 26:19
  be able to understand, one, connecting with myself,
• 26:22
  giving myself a little bit of grace, but also
• 26:24
  sometimes having to relinquish stuff to God and
• 26:27
  understanding that things are out of my hands
• 26:29
  at some points. And we connect with... I feel
• 26:33
  like I'm connecting really well with their son.
• 26:35
  And he looks at me and he goes, last night I
• 26:38
  was actually praying that I would find some direction
• 26:41
  of what I wanted to do in life. I've been having
• 26:44
  a really hard time with it. My friends are all
• 26:45
  going to college. I feel like I'm kind of stuck
• 26:47
  and I don't know what to do. And I sat down and
• 26:51
  I said a prayer last night. And I didn't expect
• 26:54
  for that prayer to be answered within 12 hours.
• 26:56
  And I looked at that and... I started shedding
• 27:00
  tears. I was just like, can you imagine if that
• 27:03
  car sale in the Midwest had gone through? If
• 27:06
  everything had gone right, if I hadn't happened
• 27:10
  to open my phone at the exact right time, I'm
• 27:13
  not saying that the thing that went right here
• 27:14
  was that I got a really cool car, but yes, that's
• 27:16
  a great thing that I got out there. I'm excited.
• 27:18
  For me, I had to take a step back and just realize
• 27:22
  that I was exactly where I needed to be. And
• 27:25
  if everything had gone how I wanted it to, if
• 27:27
  I'd gotten the car, if I'd gone out to Chicago,
• 27:29
  none of these other things would have happened.
• 27:31
  If the wire hadn't gone through and we would
• 27:34
  have only been there for 10 minutes, we would
• 27:35
  miss out on this whole conversation. And so we
• 27:37
  go through that and he says that and we share
• 27:39
  a quick hug, embrace for a second. And as soon
• 27:42
  as he says that, my phone dings and the wire
• 27:44
  goes through. And so I'm just sitting there.
• 27:46
  I'm like, OK, this is exactly what was supposed
• 27:48
  to happen. And it goes back to that perspective
• 27:50
  that I shared of even when things are going wrong,
• 27:53
  they're going right. All of those things had
• 27:54
  to go wrong in order for them to go right in
• 27:58
  that given moment. And so now, every single time
• 28:01
  I get in that 1983 Porsche 944, that's what I
• 28:04
  think of when I sit down in the driver's seat.
• 28:07
  I mean, how could you not? Right. And it was
• 28:09
  a really it was a very humbling experience for
• 28:12
  me. Like, I just felt like I was there and part
• 28:14
  of it. Not that I like played a massive role,
• 28:16
  but I had to be there. And it's something that
• 28:19
  I will remember forever. It's a story that I'll
• 28:21
  pass on to my kids. But I'm just so grateful
• 28:23
  for stuff like that. It all comes down to perspective,
• 28:25
  though, and being willing to look at things.
• 28:27
  Like I said, it would be very easy to look at
• 28:29
  the victim mentality and get mad at the guy that
• 28:31
  sold the car and, you know, this and that and
• 28:34
  just missing the opportunity. and not being willing
• 28:37
  to like move forward after one little setback
• 28:39
  I would have missed out on everything else that
• 28:41
  was supposed to happen even though it technically
• 28:43
  was going wrong right for sure we end and so
• 28:48
  what where does that come from where instead
• 28:50
  of just being mad the guy who sold the car ready
• 28:52
  or instead of the wires delayed and just getting
• 28:56
  in your car and just you know playing on your
• 28:58
  phone or going somewhere else But instead of
• 29:01
  being frustrated or mad at that, where does that
• 29:03
  come from for you where you made that decision
• 29:05
  to not let that stand in your way and still look
• 29:08
  for the next thing, still look for the positive
• 29:12
  in the situation, still look for the lessons
• 29:13
  there or being open to what's there? I think
• 29:16
  part of it comes from... I mean, a lot of it
• 29:19
  is mindset. A lot of it is mentality. One of
• 29:22
  the things that really helped me with that, I
• 29:24
  started listening to the Daily Stoic in like
• 29:26
  2021 from Ryan Holiday, which is a daily podcast
• 29:30
  on stoicism, different principle or tenant. And
• 29:33
  when I started listening to that, I felt like
• 29:35
  it really aligned with my beliefs and helped
• 29:36
  me instill some really positive mindsets. But
• 29:39
  I think that most of it honestly comes down to
• 29:41
  there's a really good book called Extreme Ownership.
• 29:44
  And there's one phrase that kind of I think is
• 29:47
  kind of. like the tie between stoicism and this
• 29:49
  book and it's if not me then who if not now then
• 29:52
  when like if if not me then who's going to do
• 29:55
  it if i don't do it now then when is it ever
• 29:57
  going to get done and so i've just kind of adopted
• 30:00
  this mindset of like if something's going wrong
• 30:04
  it's probably my responsibility to fix it and
• 30:07
  i'm going to be the one to give and give and
• 30:09
  give and give and give and try to do it and i
• 30:11
  know that people are going to take and take and
• 30:13
  take and take maybe occasionally i'll take something
• 30:15
  in return but that that's just kind of been the
• 30:16
  mindset that i've adopted and things have worked
• 30:18
  out pretty good for me and so when i've seen
• 30:20
  the theme i've seen it proven and i see that
• 30:23
  it pays off in the long run my mentality is just
• 30:25
  if if something goes wrong there's a reason that
• 30:28
  it's supposed to and i need to do something about
• 30:31
  it and if something needs to get done or a problem
• 30:34
  pops up then it's my responsibility to fix that
• 30:37
  or do it and i'd say that works nine times out
• 30:39
  of ten there's sometimes where i like run into
• 30:41
  a wall and there's nothing that i can do some
• 30:43
  things are just out of your control but for the
• 30:45
  most part adopting that mindset has helped me
• 30:47
  take a lot more I'd say a lot more ownership
• 30:50
  and having higher agency with what I end up doing
• 30:53
  in life. Yeah, for sure. Before we jump back
• 30:56
  in, can I ask you a quick favor? If you're enjoying
• 30:59
  the journey so far, will you like rate and subscribe
• 31:03
  to our show? It helps us reach more people like
• 31:06
  you. We can design and create and build the most
• 31:09
  wonderful place in the world, but it takes people
• 31:12
  to make the dream a reality. Well, let's kind
• 31:17
  of take a look then at how we see kind of this
• 31:20
  general topic when it comes to this movie, Luca.
• 31:23
  Okay. So set the stage, if you will, in case
• 31:26
  somebody hasn't seen Luca, what that overarching
• 31:28
  story is of Luca. So Luca, I would say the distinction
• 31:33
  is we've got a civilization of people, sea monsters
• 31:36
  that live below the water. My daughter loves
• 31:38
  Luca. This is one of our favorites. But we have
• 31:42
  the civilization of people that live below the
• 31:43
  water, the sea monsters. And then you have the
• 31:45
  people that live on land. I believe it takes
• 31:47
  place in Italy. It does. Okay, so it takes place
• 31:49
  in Italy. And then you've got the people that
• 31:52
  hate the sea monsters. This would be like if
• 31:53
  crocodiles could speak and they were coming up
• 31:55
  and standing on two legs. And we're like, no,
• 31:57
  we hate crocodiles. They should not be riding
• 31:59
  our bicycles. But we've got two primary characters,
• 32:02
  Luca and remind me the other. Alberto. Alberto.
• 32:07
  They become friends. They start to realize that
• 32:10
  they can break the surface of the water and actually
• 32:13
  go up to live with the land people, right? The
• 32:15
  land monsters is probably how they think of it.
• 32:17
  And they, I don't remember exactly how we get
• 32:20
  to it, but they really want a Vespa. They want
• 32:22
  like this little scooter. And they're having
• 32:24
  to do these things to like camouflage themselves
• 32:26
  anytime it rains or anytime. they get wet it
• 32:29
  like turns their skin back into looking like
• 32:32
  a sea monster and they have to stay hidden and
• 32:35
  covered uh from all the people so they don't
• 32:37
  get discovered that they're sea monsters um and
• 32:40
  they go through this whole movie basically learning
• 32:41
  and trying to find ways for them to blend in
• 32:43
  in this area in civilization where where they
• 32:45
  grew up they're not allowed to be there these
• 32:47
  are the bad people but they find out that these
• 32:49
  people like really aren't that bad uh but they
• 32:52
  just have this preconceived notion that sea monsters
• 32:55
  are really bad and so it's this whole story of
• 32:57
  friendship becoming friends with people from
• 33:00
  other areas finding ways to find those common
• 33:02
  interests and and blend to with the overarching
• 33:05
  goal of getting a Vespa while there's a lot more
• 33:07
  and a lot more things that happen inside of there.
• 33:10
  But that's kind of the theme is like having a
• 33:12
  different perspective of these people that traditionally
• 33:14
  haven't really liked each other, but finding
• 33:16
  common ground for them to become friends and
• 33:18
  realizing that they're not that different. Yeah,
• 33:19
  I think that's perfect. And so what I want to
• 33:21
  do is there's a couple of lines that I really
• 33:23
  like in here. And there's some other quotes too
• 33:24
  that I want to ask you about and get your perspective
• 33:25
  on. So at the very beginning, when Luca is under
• 33:31
  the water, and he's kind of shepherding these
• 33:34
  fish, much like a shepherd on the land would.
• 33:36
  And he's experiencing different things, and he's
• 33:38
  finding some things from the humans that float
• 33:40
  down. And his mom does not like this at all.
• 33:44
  And his mom says to him, the curious fish gets
• 33:47
  caught. And so what kind of limiting belief do
• 33:51
  you think that is? I mean, the mom didn't have
• 33:53
  bad intentions at all, right? It's not like his
• 33:55
  mom's trying to be mean to him. But in what way
• 33:58
  was that a limiting thing for Luca to hear? Well,
• 34:02
  I think it, I mean... curious fish gets caught
• 34:04
  this kind of now reminds me of like finding nemo
• 34:06
  right like you get curious you start to look
• 34:08
  for other things not maybe not necessarily in
• 34:11
  a bad way but like being willing to discover
• 34:14
  new things is going to open you up to a new world
• 34:16
  but when we grow up inside of this box and we
• 34:19
  know that this is our section of the ocean and
• 34:23
  we do not leave this fence everything outside
• 34:26
  of it is bad everything that is different is
• 34:28
  bad it restricts us to thinking that we can only
• 34:31
  play within this sandbox but how i actually like
• 34:34
  to think of those things is it's more of like
• 34:36
  a gate it's like a fence this is a barrier of
• 34:39
  safety but the gate can open and we can go out
• 34:41
  and we can branch out and go to other areas while
• 34:43
  knowing that we have the safety of our own home
• 34:45
  to come back to but i think that that is just
• 34:47
  a pure limiting belief of thinking that you know
• 34:51
  Everything else that is different from what we
• 34:53
  have right now, we're good. We should be comfortable.
• 34:55
  We have everything that we need. We don't need
• 34:58
  other people's things or ideas or perspectives
• 35:00
  or anything that they have is going to be different.
• 35:02
  Why can't we just be happy and comfortable with
• 35:04
  what we have now? But that's very limited because
• 35:06
  there's so much more that's out there. There's
• 35:08
  so much that we're missing out on if we restrict
• 35:11
  ourselves to just staying within the box. For
• 35:13
  sure. One of the things that I thought really
• 35:17
  ties into this is something that Stephen Covey
• 35:20
  said that you're probably familiar with as well.
• 35:23
  He said the way we see the problem is the problem.
• 35:27
  And so in what way is that kind of the case,
• 35:30
  both in the story of Luca, but also in problems
• 35:33
  that people would face in their businesses or
• 35:35
  in their lives? I think a lot of it comes down
• 35:38
  to learning to remove yourself from the situation.
• 35:43
  Like if it wasn't you, it's really easy for us
• 35:46
  to look at things and put a lot more emotion
• 35:48
  and weight to them and think that it's the end
• 35:50
  of the world when a decision is being made for
• 35:52
  us. But it's really easy for us to like look
• 35:55
  at other people's situations, be like, oh, all
• 35:56
  you need to do is this like that. Why don't you
• 35:59
  just do this one thing? That's the only thing
• 36:00
  that you need to do. So I think one, we need
• 36:03
  to take ourselves a little less serious because
• 36:05
  at the end of the day, like worst case scenario
• 36:07
  really isn't that bad. Like, oh, bummer, like
• 36:10
  you made a mistake at work. Now you know not
• 36:12
  to make that mistake anymore. But, oh, if you
• 36:15
  spend your whole life trying to focus on not
• 36:17
  making mistakes, you're going to miss out on
• 36:20
  all the things that you could have learned if
• 36:21
  you were just willing to make one or two mistakes.
• 36:24
  And so, you know, I think that looking at, I
• 36:29
  think so many people get focused on the problem
• 36:32
  and looking at the problem and talking about
• 36:34
  the problem rather than. theorizing on and identifying
• 36:38
  solutions to what that problem could be so that
• 36:41
  that thing doesn't need to be a problem anymore
• 36:43
  like i don't i i look at problems as open loops
• 36:45
  and when i have like an open loop that hasn't
• 36:47
  been closed then it's just like piling up for
• 36:50
  me of all of these things that i know that i
• 36:52
  need to close the loop on and solve the problem
• 36:54
  for and so my mind is much more ocd and that
• 36:57
  like i need to close all of those loops and solve
• 36:59
  all of those problems but i think that the the
• 37:01
  more willing we are how we look at the problem
• 37:03
  is the problem we need to take a step back and
• 37:06
  realize that it's just a problem yes it's my
• 37:08
  problem but for now it's just a problem remove
• 37:11
  myself from the situation if i were going to
• 37:13
  make the suggestion to a friend what would i
• 37:16
  tell them to do if it weren't me in this scenario
• 37:18
  because you look at the word the long enough
• 37:20
  and it starts to not look like a word anymore
• 37:22
  i feel like the same thing happens when we're
• 37:24
  looking at our problems or issues or relationships
• 37:26
  or things that we're looking at and in reality
• 37:27
  we just need to take a step back not take ourselves
• 37:29
  so serious and be like if this were my best friend
• 37:32
  in this situation what would i tell them to do
• 37:34
  to solve this problem Yeah, and I wish I knew
• 37:37
  the research on this specifically, but it's research
• 37:39
  that I've heard both Brene Brown and Adam Grant
• 37:41
  talking about where when you're able to remove
• 37:43
  yourself from it and see it from that perspective
• 37:45
  outside, it helps you to overcome that problem
• 37:48
  because it's not you. the issue isn't you it's
• 37:52
  just something you were facing and the ability
• 37:54
  to take that perspective away from it allows
• 37:57
  you to then move past it because it is just a
• 38:00
  problem that you can then solve and move fast
• 38:02
  as opposed to i am the problem i am the thing
• 38:06
  that's gone wrong yeah and and i there's a really
• 38:09
  good book i'll reference ryan holiday again he's
• 38:11
  got a really good book called the obstacle is
• 38:12
  the way like i fell in love with when i when
• 38:16
  i started doing a deep dive into like mental
• 38:18
  health and understanding myself rather than looking
• 38:21
  at things as problems like oh why do i do this
• 38:24
  like why this is such a problem for me i just
• 38:26
  started realizing like oh this is this is a behavior
• 38:28
  that i do this is something that i do what can
• 38:30
  i do to change that oh, when I go into social
• 38:33
  situations and I say something stupid, I don't
• 38:35
  actually have to go home and overanalyze for
• 38:38
  three hours and toss and turn in bed wondering
• 38:40
  why I said that. Like, oh, wow, I just saved
• 38:42
  myself three hours every single time I go out
• 38:44
  in a social situation, all this stress and weight.
• 38:46
  And I realized, you know what, I'm going to say
• 38:48
  some stupid things. But if you don't say some
• 38:50
  stupid things, you don't say some funny things,
• 38:51
  right? And so I just realized that I had to loosen
• 38:53
  up a little bit for myself and not take myself
• 38:56
  so seriously in those situations. But when I
• 38:59
  stopped looking at things as like, these are
• 39:01
  like my problems this is a character flaw and
• 39:03
  just realized these are things that i can tackle
• 39:06
  and i will be better as a result of fixing them
• 39:10
  or solving them i started becoming obsessed with
• 39:13
  problem solving because we're not taught to i
• 39:16
  don't feel like we do a good job of teaching
• 39:18
  how to approach conflict Like we would rather
• 39:20
  avoid conflict and avoid a hard conversation
• 39:22
  rather than address it and love and bask in the
• 39:26
  glory of what's on the other side of just addressing
• 39:28
  a problem with someone, right? Addressing contention
• 39:31
  or something that we're running into. And so
• 39:32
  as soon as I started to realize that, and when
• 39:34
  I read that book, The Obstacle is the Way, I
• 39:37
  started to just fall in love with the idea of
• 39:39
  when I have obstacles, this is the way that I'm
• 39:42
  supposed to be going. like you're going to run
• 39:43
  into things and the more the more tolerance that
• 39:46
  you build up to be able to have hard conversations
• 39:48
  to be able to diagnose really tough problems
• 39:51
  to figure out solutions to those problems and
• 39:53
  this could go business or relationships right
• 39:56
  any of those things right there when those obstacles
• 39:59
  start to be overcome you become a lot better
• 40:03
  at overcoming obstacles and everything becomes
• 40:05
  less stressful the problems that I was solving
• 40:07
  five years ago in my career were like the smallest
• 40:09
  little tiny things in the world compared to what
• 40:11
  I'm doing now but I couldn't have had the confidence
• 40:14
  to do what I do now if I didn't just start solving
• 40:16
  and overcoming obstacles where I started at.
• 40:19
  Yeah, that was what you needed so that you can
• 40:20
  overcome greater obstacles. Correct, yeah. Another
• 40:23
  quote from the movie. I want to get your take
• 40:24
  on. This is a classic one. This is one of the
• 40:27
  most famous ones from the movie. It's where Alberto
• 40:30
  and Luca are talking, and Luca's afraid to go
• 40:33
  down this little hill on their homemade Vespa
• 40:37
  that keeps falling apart. And Alberto says to
• 40:41
  him, I know your problem. You've got a Bruno
• 40:43
  in your head. Luca, it's simple. Don't listen
• 40:45
  to stupid Bruno. And I think it's that sometimes
• 40:49
  people do let that Bruno in their head really
• 40:51
  hold them back. Yeah. I think that when you start
• 40:56
  to identify that voice, you realize how frequently
• 40:59
  that voice is there. Yeah. Right? Like when you
• 41:02
  hear that. uh, negative self -talk, you realize
• 41:06
  how frequently you're actually doing it. And,
• 41:09
  well, uh, this was probably three or four years
• 41:12
  ago. Um, one of the spots where I really, I was
• 41:15
  at a spot in life. I used to spend a ton of time
• 41:17
  in the sauna. I still do, but I would spend like
• 41:20
  a big sauna guy. I would spend like 20 to 30
• 41:22
  minutes a day in the sauna. And that's where
• 41:24
  I would, that's where I learned how to think.
• 41:26
  no one no one had ever taught me how to think
• 41:28
  and so i i started realizing i was just like
• 41:30
  i would just run through like my day to start
• 41:32
  and i'd look at all of these things and then
• 41:34
  i'd like listen to how my brain would react and
• 41:36
  respond to things that had happened through the
• 41:38
  day and then i would start making note of like
• 41:40
  why am i being so hard on myself for this thing
• 41:43
  like I did 10 reps instead of 12 at the gym.
• 41:47
  Like, why am I telling myself that, oh, you're
• 41:49
  weak. You didn't go as hard as you could have.
• 41:51
  You know, you didn't do this to completion. I'm
• 41:54
  like, I did the very best that I could. Like,
• 41:55
  I'm happy with that. Yes, I understand like challenging
• 41:57
  yourself sometimes and not skating by. But like,
• 42:00
  as I started to listen to this Bruno in my head,
• 42:03
  I realized how frequently that I was doing that.
• 42:06
  And then I actually, some may call it like heebie
• 42:08
  -jeebie, right? But like, whenever I was alone
• 42:11
  in the sauna, like I would actually talk back
• 42:12
  to myself. And I was sitting there. I'm sure
• 42:15
  there were people that walked up, opened the
• 42:16
  door, heard me talking. They're like, yeah, I'm
• 42:18
  not going in there. That guy's creepy. But I
• 42:20
  would be sitting in the sauna and I'd hear something.
• 42:21
  I'd be like, no, that's not the way it is. And
• 42:24
  I started doing this positive reinforcement to
• 42:26
  myself. And that was where I felt like I really
• 42:28
  started taking this connection of like. Ryan
• 42:30
  who's in my heart and Bruno Ryan who's in my
• 42:33
  head and starting to get him out of my head a
• 42:35
  little bit more and get my heart to pop up here
• 42:37
  a little bit more. I felt like I built this in
• 42:39
  tune relationship with myself that wasn't there
• 42:41
  because I was letting Bruno Ryan talk so much
• 42:45
  more than Ryan Ryan. And I think for me, the
• 42:47
  Bruno Ryan, because I guess that's for me as
• 42:49
  well, right? Yeah, there you go. That happens
• 42:51
  when I don't take the time to slow down. And
• 42:55
  then it's just like I'm in the heat of it and
• 42:58
  I'm negative self -talk and doing that. For me,
• 43:01
  what I found where I get that opportunity to
• 43:03
  almost have this meditative status actually in
• 43:05
  running, which I used to hate. I just hated it.
• 43:09
  and i have one of my best friends who just loves
• 43:11
  running and kept encouraging me to do it and
• 43:14
  i finally started doing it it took me a long
• 43:15
  time to get there to that point but once i did
• 43:18
  now when i run i get to that state where i can
• 43:21
  think through my day. I can think through the
• 43:24
  things that are holding me back. I can think
• 43:26
  through problems in a way that I just can't at
• 43:29
  any other time of day because it's so busy. When
• 43:30
  I look at my day and my schedule, it's like almost
• 43:33
  every minute of every day is just scheduled out.
• 43:35
  And taking that time though, first thing, I'm
• 43:38
  a morning person. Taking that time first thing,
• 43:40
  getting out running when no one else is awake.
• 43:42
  I run at 4 .30 in the morning. No one else is
• 43:44
  out there. It's still dark. The whole world is
• 43:47
  my oyster. And I can just think through those
• 43:50
  things. And then that Bruno in my head gets a
• 43:54
  lot quieter and then I'm able to process through
• 43:57
  like who I am and what I want to accomplish and
• 43:59
  putting things into perspective a lot better
• 44:01
  when I'm able to do that. Yeah. Well now, as
• 44:04
  you're saying that, isn't there a quote in the
• 44:06
  movie where he says like silencio Bruno, silencio
• 44:09
  Bruno? Yes. Yes. Um, so yeah. And, and I think
• 44:12
  there's, there's one thing in there that you
• 44:13
  said that I want to highlight. You default to
• 44:16
  that talk when you're busy. Because that's our
• 44:20
  natural reaction. When things are going wrong,
• 44:23
  just when life is happening, our default reaction
• 44:26
  is to respond in a way that puts us on guard
• 44:30
  and covers and is like a protective state. And
• 44:33
  it's like justifying other people's actions or
• 44:35
  the things that they did or the errors that they
• 44:37
  made, justifying the things that I did as a survival
• 44:40
  mechanism. But in reality, when we're doing that,
• 44:43
  that is just pure reactionary. And out of fear.
• 44:45
  Yeah, it's out of fear. Reacting out of fear.
• 44:48
  Whereas when you take the time to actually stop
• 44:49
  and think and be like, OK, they said this. Did
• 44:52
  they mean this or did they mean this? Because
• 44:53
  they have these five other things that's going
• 44:55
  on in life. And all of those things are causing
• 44:58
  all this pain and hardship. And that is what's
• 45:00
  manifesting through what they said to me. That
• 45:02
  allows you to be. it's not a word, but I'll say
• 45:04
  instead of being reactionary, proactionary, and
• 45:07
  you can actually look and bifurcate and separate
• 45:09
  out these scenarios and situations where people
• 45:12
  are responding negatively, but you're not reacting
• 45:14
  to that. You're taking that, you're internalizing
• 45:16
  it, running it through your filter and being
• 45:18
  proactive in how you respond to that. And sometimes
• 45:20
  just in doing that, that's where I've had some
• 45:23
  of the best conversations is when I see that,
• 45:25
  I hear that, I listen to that. And then I'm able
• 45:28
  to say, hey, I take a day or I take two days.
• 45:30
  I'm like, hey. I know that you said this. I know
• 45:32
  that you have a lot going on. is there any chance
• 45:35
  i i know that there's probably something that
• 45:37
  i could do a little bit better here but with
• 45:39
  kind of how you approached me and what you said
• 45:41
  i did notice that i'm not trying to find like
• 45:43
  another spot or trying to place blame somewhere
• 45:44
  else i know that you have a lot going on in any
• 45:46
  of in these other areas like is there stuff that
• 45:49
  we could do to help solve this so that we can
• 45:51
  not have this issue again in the future and is
• 45:53
  there stuff that i can do to help you with that
• 45:55
  so that we can get more to the root of the problem
• 45:57
  rather than just the zit and how it's manifesting
• 46:00
  right like there's more under the surface there
• 46:01
  that needs to pop for sure so and And to me,
• 46:04
  that's rooted in empathy. Because when you're
• 46:09
  looking at that with that person, you've got
• 46:11
  to care about that person to have that conversation.
• 46:13
  Because then you're caring about what else is
• 46:16
  going on in their life. And to me, it's the idea
• 46:20
  of kindness. Kindness is rooted in empathy. And
• 46:22
  you can't have that kindness and assume positive
• 46:24
  intent if you're not willing to try to empathize
• 46:27
  and understand what's really going on for them.
• 46:29
  You can't because you ignore those things. You
• 46:31
  ignore they have other things going on in their
• 46:32
  life. You just assume it's the worst. So they
• 46:34
  must mean the worst thing to you, to everybody
• 46:36
  else. They must be a bad person. But if we can
• 46:39
  flip that, empathize, find the kindness in the
• 46:42
  situation, we can really get to the root of the
• 46:44
  problem a lot easier. Yep, spot on. Yeah. So
• 46:46
  one more quote that I want to talk about where
• 46:49
  it kind of wraps up the movie. This is kind of
• 46:51
  where it reaches kind of the climax, right? So
• 46:53
  Luca and Alberto do this triathlon. And the triathlon
• 46:58
  is not a traditional one. It's swimming, a bicycle
• 47:01
  ride, and also eating pasta because, of course,
• 47:04
  it's Italy. So it has to be eating pasta, right?
• 47:06
  They get to the end of this race, and it starts
• 47:08
  to rain. And so then Luca and Alberto are both
• 47:11
  revealed to be these sea monsters. During the
• 47:14
  show, they've built this relationship with Julia,
• 47:16
  a young lady there who also has this nemesis
• 47:20
  kid in town who always wins and always beats
• 47:23
  her down. They build a relationship with her
• 47:25
  dad, Massimo, who's a fisherman with one arm,
• 47:28
  who's just this great but very stoic guy. He's
• 47:32
  this quiet guy. He doesn't say a lot. So they
• 47:35
  reach the end. They reveal the BBC monsters,
• 47:37
  and the villain of the show is calling them out.
• 47:40
  He's like, you guys are just monsters. You're
• 47:42
  just monsters. And Julius says like, no, they're
• 47:45
  not monsters. So he says, well, they're not monsters.
• 47:47
  Who are they? And then big Massimo, who's this
• 47:51
  huge guy, it's the biggest guy in town. He comes
• 47:53
  up and he's like, I know who they are. And you're
• 47:55
  not sure at this point in time, it's gonna be
• 47:57
  like, yeah, they're monsters. Let's kill them,
• 47:59
  right? Or what is he gonna say? And he says,
• 48:01
  I know who they are. They're Luca and Alberto.
• 48:04
  And to me, it was, it's just such a nice. i don't
• 48:08
  know it's just really emblematic of what we're
• 48:09
  talking about here seeing seeing it differently
• 48:12
  changing perspective let me get your take on
• 48:14
  that well number one i think that that that could
• 48:17
  have been like a a teeter that was definitely
• 48:19
  a teetering point like which way does mossimo
• 48:21
  lean here if i remember correctly and i could
• 48:23
  be wrong i'm pretty sure mossimo actually lost
• 48:25
  his arm to a sea monster I don't remember. I
• 48:28
  don't remember. I feel like there was some fishing
• 48:30
  incident or something where he lost his arm.
• 48:32
  But he definitely did not like sea monsters.
• 48:34
  Yeah, he didn't like sea monsters. Very antagonistic
• 48:35
  towards them. You know, looking at it from his
• 48:36
  perspective, right? Like these are these two
• 48:39
  kids that this whole time they've been living
• 48:41
  underneath my nose and they've been visiting
• 48:43
  and they built a friendship with my daughter
• 48:45
  and they turn out to be someone completely different
• 48:47
  from who I thought they were. In fact, they're
• 48:49
  the epitome of the thing that I hate, right?
• 48:52
  and to go in that moment and one having the frame
• 48:55
  of who he is stepping into that moment the whole
• 48:58
  town is going to listen to whatever he says yes
• 48:59
  but i think that the most important thing is
• 49:01
  that he and this truly i think that this is one
• 49:04
  of the hardest things in life it is near impossible
• 49:07
  Unless someone is actually willing to do it and
• 49:09
  go through the hard stuff to change your frame
• 49:11
  of someone else. Like, my perspective is I don't
• 49:14
  need someone to show me twice why I can't trust
• 49:16
  them. But, you know, I'm trusting until someone
• 49:19
  gives me a reason not to. And it's really hard
• 49:21
  for people to change a frame, especially for...
• 49:24
  I don't know how many centuries or layers of
• 49:29
  the family tree, generations, there we go, that's
• 49:32
  what I was looking for, how many generations
• 49:33
  the hate for sea monsters went back. But him
• 49:36
  saying that was the turning point that now changed
• 49:38
  the relationship of now being able to, I'll say,
• 49:41
  cross the border to go out of the water back
• 49:43
  up into town and having this bilateral relationship
• 49:46
  to go back and forth. And all of that came from
• 49:48
  being willing to... loosen your own heart up
• 49:51
  to see someone for who they actually are and
• 49:54
  who they've become and all of that trust was
• 49:57
  built over time if that was just you know they
• 49:59
  met and then that happened you know the next
• 50:02
  day there's no way that masmo would have stood
• 50:04
  up for them no chance but by building that relationship
• 50:05
  by being there by not networking and connecting
• 50:09
  right like they built that relationship over
• 50:10
  time they sat down for dinner together they built
• 50:13
  the friendship they they slept at the house right
• 50:15
  like all of those things led into him seeing
• 50:18
  them through a different light and he's like
• 50:19
  oh these people are actually just regular people
• 50:22
  right even though we may think and we've thought
• 50:24
  for years that they're different and that they're
• 50:27
  monsters and they're this and that all it took
• 50:29
  was that one friendship to be kindled and sparked
• 50:31
  to realize that we're really not that different.
• 50:34
  Why are we separating ourselves? And I think
• 50:36
  that resetting the frame is one of the best ways
• 50:39
  for us to build that deeper relationship with
• 50:41
  people. So it is so hard to do. especially when
• 50:45
  it comes from something that might be a deeply
• 50:47
  held belief or a long time or just assumptions
• 50:49
  that you've had for a long time. It's hard to
• 50:51
  break those down, but the willingness to do so
• 50:53
  and then to lead others in doing it is really
• 50:56
  something. And that's really what Moss is about.
• 50:57
  And I think it's important to clarify, like,
• 50:59
  if you have problems with someone or if someone
• 51:01
  betrays your trust, you don't need to rework
• 51:04
  to create the new frame of, like, them in a perfect
• 51:08
  light. Like, they've already recreated the frame.
• 51:10
  You trusted them, and now you don't. But I think
• 51:12
  that there is a lot of value and there's a lot
• 51:15
  of insight in being willing to be graceful and
• 51:19
  forgiving someone so that you don't have to carry
• 51:22
  the weight and the emotion of what they've done
• 51:23
  to you. I think that that's important to clarify.
• 51:26
  But I think that it's also good in scenarios
• 51:27
  where it may be. hey for the longest time a business
• 51:31
  relationship for example for the longest time
• 51:33
  we thought that we were competitors but now we
• 51:35
  realize that we're actually very synonymous and
• 51:37
  we've got overlap of our customer bases and there's
• 51:40
  opportunities for us to create a partnership
• 51:42
  together and this industry and this industry
• 51:44
  like we very frequently we thought that we hated
• 51:47
  each other but in reality there's a lot in common
• 51:49
  here why don't we work together um so i think
• 51:51
  it's important to clarify there that like if
• 51:53
  someone burns you or does something bad you don't
• 51:55
  it's not on you to recreate the frame after they've
• 51:59
  done that to put them back in the light of being
• 52:00
  a good person sure but i think it's important
• 52:02
  to still forgive them allow yourself to move
• 52:04
  on find closure even if you haven't gotten closure
• 52:08
  from that person, so that you don't have to carry
• 52:10
  that weight of the negative frame that they've
• 52:12
  put on you, and you can just carry with you who
• 52:15
  you are, understanding, I got the experience
• 52:18
  and I know what to look for now. But then on
• 52:20
  the relationship side, being able to reset that
• 52:22
  frame is very, very important because it opens
• 52:24
  up a whole other set of opportunities that was
• 52:27
  just on the other side of this obstacle right
• 52:28
  here. And that's what we see there, right? That
• 52:31
  even though Luke and Virgil had lied about who
• 52:33
  they were, um it was built based off of fear
• 52:37
  but they also did a lot to help build that relationship
• 52:39
  with both massimo and julia so that when that
• 52:42
  time came and they were sorrowful for what they
• 52:44
  did he was able to embrace that back in and see
• 52:46
  them in a different light yep um okay so when
• 52:50
  you when you think about kind of this approach
• 52:53
  that you've had what's what's kind of the what's
• 52:56
  kind of the takeaway that somebody could have,
• 52:58
  general advice, we'll get into our three actual
• 53:00
  takeaways here in a minute, but what's kind of
• 53:01
  the general advice that you would give to somebody
• 53:03
  when they're thinking about this topic in both
• 53:06
  their business relationships professionally,
• 53:07
  but also in their personal life? I think the
• 53:10
  most important thing is figure out who you are
• 53:12
  and what you stand for, right? Read through the
• 53:16
  books. I see some books on your shelf that I've
• 53:18
  read and gone through in here. Read through the
• 53:21
  books and research information online and study
• 53:26
  philosophers and different religions and scriptures
• 53:29
  and figure out what is the philosophy of Ryan.
• 53:33
  What do I believe? What do I stand for? What
• 53:35
  do I not put up with? Who am I willing to surround
• 53:38
  myself? Who am I not willing to surround myself?
• 53:41
  And then from there, I think that allows you
• 53:43
  to have your perspective, which is uniquely you.
• 53:46
  And then I think from there, the most valuable
• 53:48
  thing that you could then go do is help other
• 53:50
  people figure that out, whether that is they
• 53:53
  have a business that they're building and they
• 53:54
  have this idea and they want to do it and they
• 53:56
  want to do it this way. But they're missing this
• 53:57
  one thing that from your perspective, you're
• 53:59
  able to share a piece of insight that's super
• 54:01
  valuable or they need help with this other person
• 54:04
  over here. And, you know, I'm talking about what
• 54:05
  I do now. Right. But like you're able to connect
• 54:07
  this other person that has a different perspective
• 54:09
  or a different insight to do things a different
• 54:11
  way. You have to figure out who you are first
• 54:14
  before you can help anyone else. Figure out who
• 54:16
  they are, do what they want to do. connect with
• 54:19
  other people. And I think the same thing goes
• 54:21
  for relationships. My wife, Taylor, is super,
• 54:25
  super strong in knowing who she is as an individual,
• 54:29
  who she is as a mom, who she is as a wife, who
• 54:31
  she is as a dog mom. She has the things that
• 54:34
  she knows that she has to do to feel comfortable
• 54:37
  with who she is. And I have the things that I
• 54:39
  know that I have to do. And we feed off of those
• 54:41
  and build a, it's not a 50 -50 relationship.
• 54:45
  We try to treat it as a 100 -100 relationship.
• 54:48
  We're always giving our all at all points in
• 54:51
  time. And there are some where I'm doing 75 and
• 54:54
  she's doing 125. And there's some where I'm doing
• 54:56
  100 and she's doing 150, right? Like she does
• 54:59
  a phenomenal job with that. But I think that
• 55:01
  it's really important to have a clarification
• 55:03
  of who you are, what you stand for, what you
• 55:05
  do, so that you can be there as a support and
• 55:06
  a balance. So that if you come in contact with
• 55:08
  someone that doesn't know who they are, who they
• 55:10
  are, what they do, what they stand for, that
• 55:12
  doesn't throw you off your game. You've got your
• 55:14
  foundation that you're rooted in, but you're
• 55:16
  also willing to open up and see things in a different
• 55:19
  perspective or in a different light by not just
• 55:20
  saying, oh, I've always my least favorite people
• 55:23
  in the world. We've always done it this way.
• 55:25
  This is how it's always been done. This is how
• 55:26
  I do it. And I'm like. okay, but if we did it
• 55:29
  this way, it actually would probably be a little
• 55:31
  bit better. And prove me wrong. Like if it doesn't
• 55:33
  work, we can go back to doing it your way. But
• 55:34
  I don't like the people that are just so hardheaded
• 55:37
  and stuck in their ways that we can't see past
• 55:39
  or can't see another opportunity because it's
• 55:41
  an ego stroke or it's a power play. Like we have
• 55:45
  to be willing to accept us for who we are, accept
• 55:47
  others for who they are, and find the common
• 55:49
  ground to build those opportunities. And I think
• 55:52
  that's the key to successful relationships in
• 55:54
  life is being able to meet people where they're
• 55:55
  at too. Yeah, I think that's right. Okay, let's
• 55:58
  take two quick segments here. Okay. Have some
• 56:00
  fun. So we're going to first hit a this or that.
• 56:03
  All right. So you just got to say which one you
• 56:04
  think. It might be a controversial opinion. You'll
• 56:07
  have to defend it if it is. Here we go. And we'll
• 56:09
  see how it goes. First one, Vespa or bicycle?
• 56:13
  Vespa. Okay. More entertaining, more fun than
• 56:17
  a bicycle. 100%. You can feel more wind on your
• 56:19
  face, too. Yeah, there you go. I like that. Number
• 56:21
  two, gelato or fresh pasta? Gelato. You big gelato
• 56:27
  guy. Big gelato guy. And gelato over ice cream.
• 56:30
  This is going to be controversial. Yes. I think
• 56:34
  all pasta tastes the same. Interesting. Someone
• 56:39
  can change my mind and take me to a... Nice restaurant,
• 56:43
  and prove me wrong, but I think that most, like
• 56:46
  my default, no joke, I was in Arizona last week,
• 56:48
  I got spaghetti and meatballs. I think that,
• 56:51
  I am lactose intolerant, so that probably plays
• 56:52
  a factor here. Sure, sure. So yes, gelato over
• 56:55
  ice cream, because there's no dairy in most gelatos.
• 56:58
  But yeah, I think most pasta tastes the same.
• 57:01
  Interesting. So. Yeah, I. I've never heard that
• 57:04
  perspective before. I don't know if I agree or
• 57:07
  disagree. I'm going to have to process through
• 57:08
  that. Have you been to Italy? Because I haven't.
• 57:11
  No, I haven't either. So I probably need to go
• 57:12
  there and experience Pasadena. If you're Italian,
• 57:14
  please do not listen to this. Because I'm sure
• 57:16
  that that would be different if I went over there.
• 57:18
  Oh, my goodness. And like I said, I'm more than
• 57:19
  willing to have my perspective changed and opened.
• 57:22
  It sounds like we need to have a Ryan and Ryan
• 57:24
  trip to Italy. There we go. That's what it sounds
• 57:26
  like. And then we will find out. R -R -I -I.
• 57:29
  Ryan, Ryan in Italy. Yeah, I love it. I love
• 57:32
  it. Okay. Massimo or Alberto? Massimo. Yeah,
• 57:41
  I like Massimo. He is a bit of a stoic. Yeah.
• 57:44
  Vintage car or brand new car? I think this is
• 57:49
  a good timing for this question. It's apples
• 57:51
  to oranges, in my opinion, because I have both.
• 57:53
  But I think that you appreciate them for different
• 57:55
  things. Because I've got a 1979 C3 Corvette,
• 57:59
  and then I have a 2026 C8 Corvette, and I love
• 58:02
  them for different reasons. I like it. Road trip
• 58:05
  or travel outside the country in a plane? Outside
• 58:09
  the country in a plane. Okay. What's your favorite
• 58:11
  place? Favorite place that I've been to recently
• 58:14
  would probably be the Philippines. Philippines.
• 58:16
  Yeah. All right. Went to the Philippines last
• 58:18
  February. I was speaking at a company on site
• 58:21
  for a company called KJ to all of their Asia
• 58:24
  Pacific employees. And that was a perspective
• 58:28
  changer. Like a lot of things that were just
• 58:30
  different, how they do things, how they approach.
• 58:33
  Karaoke was amazing. Everything just seemed a
• 58:37
  lot more happy and light over there. I like it.
• 58:40
  Okay. Here's a rapid fire. Okay. So just the
• 58:42
  first thing that comes to your mind, favorite
• 58:44
  Disney movie. Toy Story. Does that count? That's
• 58:49
  Pixar. Totally. Okay, Toy Story. Anything Pixar
• 58:50
  will count. In fact, we'd even give you all of
• 58:53
  Disney brands for any of these questions. Cool.
• 58:56
  Toy Story. Okay, Toy Story. It's great, by the
• 58:58
  way. Favorite Disney song? Probably the theme
• 59:06
  song from Up. Oh, it's so good. It really is
• 59:10
  like... I can't help but think of my wife when
• 59:13
  I hear it. That is exactly. It makes me like,
• 59:15
  I just see the two characters in that movie,
• 59:18
  and it's just like this lovely, oh, that's a
• 59:21
  great choice. I love that song. Theme song from
• 59:23
  Up, because every time you hear it, you can visualize
• 59:24
  the entire story of their life together from
• 59:27
  start to finish throughout the song. Yeah, they
• 59:29
  did a really nice job on that movie. I'm doing
• 59:31
  a poor job of rapid fire, sorry. No, this is
• 59:33
  great, this is great. Favorite Disney princess?
• 59:36
  Jasmine. Okay, favorite Disney hero or heroine?
• 59:42
  Probably The Beast. Okay. There you go. That's
• 59:46
  a good one, too. Favorite Disney villain? Captain
• 59:49
  Hook. Captain Hook's good. He's good. Favorite
• 59:53
  Disney sidekick? LeFou. No, I lied. Sorry. The
• 59:57
  Genie. I played them in my 7th and 8th grade
• 1:00:00
  plays, but definitely got to be Genie. Both of
• 1:00:02
  them are great. Both of them are great. The Genie's
• 1:00:03
  amazing. Absolutely wonderful. I mean, Robin
• 1:00:05
  Williams in Aladdin was phenomenal. I mean, just...
• 1:00:08
  out of this world okay these ones are gonna be
• 1:00:10
  tough but i i want you to come up with an answer
• 1:00:12
  okay all right you're gonna hedge i know you
• 1:00:13
  are okay hit me best car brand corvette okay
• 1:00:20
  chevrolet corvette okay there you go favorite
• 1:00:23
  city mccall idaho Whoa! Okay, we're going to
• 1:00:32
  have to not rapid -fire this one. I've got to
• 1:00:33
  have an explanation. Well, I guess I wouldn't
• 1:00:36
  really qualify it as a city. It's more of like
• 1:00:38
  a town. Chicago, big city. McCall, favorite place
• 1:00:42
  on Earth. It's a small little water skiing town.
• 1:00:45
  My family's been going there for 70 years, I
• 1:00:47
  think, is what we're at. Might be a little bit
• 1:00:49
  more than that. But we go up there. We get a
• 1:00:53
  house on the lake and go water ski for a couple
• 1:00:56
  days. It's like my favorite place to retreat
• 1:00:58
  to. You get the anticipation leading up to the
• 1:01:00
  trip. You know that it's always going to be fun.
• 1:01:02
  You know what to expect. But it's out in nature.
• 1:01:04
  Your best Wi -Fi speed there is going to be like
• 1:01:06
  40 megabytes per second. You're maybe getting
• 1:01:09
  a few emails out, and that's it. Which is good.
• 1:01:12
  Connected, which is good. It's my favorite place
• 1:01:13
  on Earth, McCall, Idaho. I love that. But if
• 1:01:15
  you're listening to this, don't go there because
• 1:01:16
  it's really small. So I want to keep it small.
• 1:01:18
  So pretend like we didn't say that. Totally fair.
• 1:01:21
  Pretend like it's not on the top 10 most hidden
• 1:01:24
  cities or hidden gems on National Geographic.
• 1:01:26
  Yeah, there you go. Best business book? Who Not
• 1:01:30
  How by Dan Sullivan. Very good. And last one
• 1:01:34
  here. Best piece of advice you've ever received?
• 1:01:38
  Hmm. Best piece of advice that I've ever received.
• 1:01:47
  Is this just like life advice or like business
• 1:01:53
  specific advice? Whichever you like. All right.
• 1:01:56
  Well, the one that's coming to mind for me because
• 1:01:57
  it's 10 a .m. now and we're starting the workday.
• 1:02:01
  Business takes on a whole new meaning or relationships
• 1:02:03
  take on a whole new meaning when you do business
• 1:02:05
  with people. And that was a piece of advice that
• 1:02:07
  one of my mentors, Sean Holiday, gave me. i had
• 1:02:11
  a lot of relationships and i held a lot of value
• 1:02:13
  in my network and uh and he kind of told me straight
• 1:02:18
  up he's like those those relationships are really
• 1:02:20
  nice but like you haven't really done anything
• 1:02:23
  with them so go do stuff everyone's scared of
• 1:02:26
  like a business deal going south or something
• 1:02:29
  going wrong but no one ever talks about how much
• 1:02:32
  could go right and all the opportunity that sits
• 1:02:34
  on the other side of that and mutual success.
• 1:02:36
  And so when I took that piece of advice from
• 1:02:38
  him, I started falling in love with the idea
• 1:02:41
  of doing business with people because that's
• 1:02:43
  how fast forwarding now three years, that's how
• 1:02:46
  everything fun, exciting, successful in my life
• 1:02:49
  has happened has been by doing it with other
• 1:02:51
  people. It's great. It's wonderful. I love it.
• 1:02:54
  Okay, so to kind of wrap into kind of our closing
• 1:02:57
  reflections. So, you know, I thought today I
• 1:03:00
  really appreciate your perspective on how taking
• 1:03:04
  a look at these problems and seeing it from a
• 1:03:08
  different perspective, how we can look at this,
• 1:03:11
  you know, situations like a delayed wire or a
• 1:03:15
  deal that fell through and yet find the good
• 1:03:19
  in that situation, find how we can still make
• 1:03:21
  that into a positive thing. I appreciate your
• 1:03:25
  story, your willingness to share your experiences
• 1:03:28
  on how you've been successful and how we can
• 1:03:30
  kind of see Luca through this same lens of looking
• 1:03:33
  at things differently, looking at problems differently,
• 1:03:36
  seeing people for maybe who they truly are as
• 1:03:37
  opposed to what's on the outside. So what are
• 1:03:40
  three actionable takeaways that somebody could,
• 1:03:43
  who's listening to this, could say, I'm going
• 1:03:45
  to put this into action today or this week that
• 1:03:50
  can help them in the very things that we've been
• 1:03:52
  talking about? well i think the first specifically
• 1:03:54
  i'll say life career if you have an idea of what
• 1:03:58
  you want to do or you're doing something right
• 1:04:00
  now pause and take 15 to 20 minutes and ask yourself
• 1:04:05
  and look at like am i doing what i really feel
• 1:04:07
  drawn towards I talk about the concept of push
• 1:04:11
  versus pull. Am I pushing myself into something
• 1:04:13
  or am I letting myself be pulled towards something,
• 1:04:15
  that gravitational pull? And so analyzing and
• 1:04:18
  looking at whether you're early on in your career,
• 1:04:21
  do you feel like you're headed down the trajectory
• 1:04:22
  of what you want to do? If not, what do you want
• 1:04:25
  to do and how can you get there? Do you know
• 1:04:28
  someone, you know, you're in business, but you
• 1:04:30
  decide, hey, I do want to go be a cardiologist.
• 1:04:32
  Do you have any relationships or friends or family
• 1:04:34
  friends or connections or cousins or friends
• 1:04:36
  of cousins that are inside of that industry that
• 1:04:38
  you could send a text to your friend or your
• 1:04:41
  connection and say, hey, I'm really looking to
• 1:04:42
  talk to this person. Would you be willing to
• 1:04:44
  introduce us? I just have a couple of quick questions
• 1:04:46
  that I want to ask them. I'm trying to figure
• 1:04:47
  out if this is something I'm interested in doing.
• 1:04:49
  Being willing to just take that step in action
• 1:04:51
  towards, one, think about something that you
• 1:04:53
  want to do and then figure out. Step two, what
• 1:04:56
  could you do to put that into action? If that's
• 1:04:59
  building a relationship, if that's creating an
• 1:05:01
  internship or a job opportunity, if that is being
• 1:05:05
  a better person at home and identifying, hey,
• 1:05:06
  instead of letting the dishes pile up, I'm just
• 1:05:09
  going to do them right after dinner and I'm going
• 1:05:10
  to load the dishwasher so that my wife doesn't
• 1:05:12
  get upset with me. I need to be home for dinner
• 1:05:14
  more times throughout the week. Those are a couple
• 1:05:16
  of things that I've thought of recently. So take
• 1:05:18
  a little bit of time to think about what are
• 1:05:20
  some things that I want to do in life. Am I getting
• 1:05:22
  the most out of it? Am I feeling pulled towards
• 1:05:24
  what I'm doing? I think the second thing there
• 1:05:26
  would be anytime something happens in a relationship,
• 1:05:29
  when something happens to you, pause and take
• 1:05:32
  a second and ask yourself, why is this happening
• 1:05:34
  for me? Not to me, but for me. Taking that perspective
• 1:05:38
  allows you to take a step back, draw back and
• 1:05:40
  analyze and look at like, I know that they did
• 1:05:42
  this or I know that this happened, but why was
• 1:05:45
  this supposed to happen? What did they say that
• 1:05:47
  I could draw something out of there that could
• 1:05:49
  open up some insight for me to be able to turn
• 1:05:51
  or reframe this in a way that helps both of us
• 1:05:54
  get out of this sticky situation? So taking some
• 1:05:57
  time to pause and think about what you want to
• 1:06:00
  do, what you want out of life. And then the same
• 1:06:01
  thing on if something happens, stop and pause.
• 1:06:03
  Why is this happening for me? And taking the,
• 1:06:07
  I don't know what the opposite of victim mentality
• 1:06:10
  would be, but I'd say champion mentality, right?
• 1:06:13
  What can I do? What do I need to do to make this
• 1:06:16
  situation better? Or how do I put that into action?
• 1:06:19
  And then I think the third thing would be just
• 1:06:23
  growing. I touched on this a little bit earlier.
• 1:06:26
  No one ever teaches us how to think. We're taught
• 1:06:29
  how to do stuff and how to research stuff. We're
• 1:06:32
  never taught how to think about stuff. And I
• 1:06:34
  think that that's a... We have like the scientific
• 1:06:37
  method and the Socratic method. And I have like
• 1:06:40
  my Ryan method. I guess you can copy that because
• 1:06:42
  you're Ryan too. But I think that the third thing
• 1:06:44
  would just be building the muscle of starting
• 1:06:46
  to look at things differently. And, you know,
• 1:06:49
  I think we did a good job of unpacking the movie
• 1:06:51
  Luca. There's a lot of things that I think, you
• 1:06:53
  know, if people didn't pause and think about
• 1:06:55
  it, they would probably miss some of those things.
• 1:06:57
  If you're driving down the street and you see
• 1:06:59
  a billboard or you see a company that has a logo
• 1:07:02
  on the side of their building, like why do they
• 1:07:04
  have that logo? Can I tell what they do based
• 1:07:07
  on how they describe it or what they show in
• 1:07:09
  the visual depiction there? When I see something
• 1:07:11
  online, you know, is there a reason that they're
• 1:07:14
  doing that? Are they doing that to show off?
• 1:07:16
  Are they doing that to, you know, prove something
• 1:07:19
  to the younger version of themselves that, you
• 1:07:21
  know, they've achieved what their childhood dream?
• 1:07:24
  Like just starting to pause and look at the things
• 1:07:26
  that are around you and just trying to see things
• 1:07:28
  from a different perspective. I think that muscle
• 1:07:31
  then helps number one and number two. So a lot
• 1:07:34
  of that. I mean, all three of those revolve around
• 1:07:37
  pausing and stopping to think. And so I think
• 1:07:40
  that's kind of like the overarching theme. The
• 1:07:42
  only way that you're going to get new perspectives
• 1:07:44
  is if you're willing to stop, pause, and think.
• 1:07:48
  And then not just stopping there, but you actually
• 1:07:50
  then have to put things into action. You have
• 1:07:52
  to overcome the obstacles that we talked about.
• 1:07:54
  Maybe it's through it. Maybe it's over it. Maybe
• 1:07:56
  it's around it. Maybe it's under it, right? But
• 1:07:58
  as you start to then take those things that you
• 1:08:00
  think about and put them into action, that's
• 1:08:03
  where you start to take more control over your
• 1:08:05
  life and your living life, not living life as
• 1:08:07
  life is letting you live. And I think that's
• 1:08:10
  exactly why looking at why is this happening
• 1:08:12
  for me is a helpful reframe. Because if I know
• 1:08:15
  this, if I can say this is why this is happening
• 1:08:17
  for me, then it helps me to come up with better
• 1:08:19
  action items to... to approach that situation
• 1:08:22
  to take it as an opportunity as opposed to the
• 1:08:25
  victim mentality right it's a growth mentality
• 1:08:27
  versus a victim mentality so i love that those
• 1:08:29
  are great and i think it's accepting especially
• 1:08:31
  in like bad circumstances just to kind of close
• 1:08:33
  out on this right like i'll say bad where i thought
• 1:08:36
  i was buying this car and then it fell through
• 1:08:37
  and then i found myself and i was sitting in
• 1:08:39
  a on a friday afternoon three and a half hours
• 1:08:41
  in someone's living room right like looking at
• 1:08:44
  that if i had if i had focused so much so that
• 1:08:48
  and all the things I needed I could have gone
• 1:08:50
  back out and sat in my car and just sat on my
• 1:08:52
  phone I could have gone and run errands right
• 1:08:53
  but like there's a certain point in life where
• 1:08:55
  you you humble yourself to the circumstances
• 1:08:58
  of what is around you to just be able to sit
• 1:09:01
  and look around and see like okay yes this is
• 1:09:04
  happening for a very specific reason there's
• 1:09:06
  probably a reason that I'm supposed to be here
• 1:09:08
  let me look around and just like see and you
• 1:09:11
  almost like You almost just relinquish and cave
• 1:09:14
  and give in to the circumstances. And I remember
• 1:09:17
  being there when that experience happened. And
• 1:09:19
  I was sitting there and I was like, oh, there's
• 1:09:20
  probably a couple things I could do. And then
• 1:09:22
  I kind of just paused and I was just like, I'm
• 1:09:24
  just going to be here. There's a reason I'm supposed
• 1:09:27
  to be here. I don't know what it is. I've got
• 1:09:29
  this, I think it's a stoic philosophy of be where
• 1:09:32
  your feet are. And so I knew that there was nothing
• 1:09:34
  more important than what I was doing right there
• 1:09:36
  in that moment. And I think by being able to
• 1:09:38
  do that. to accept the circumstances that life
• 1:09:41
  has given you, but being willing to pause, think,
• 1:09:44
  look, identify a problem, identify a solution,
• 1:09:48
  a different perspective, and then put that into
• 1:09:50
  action. That's when we really start to live our
• 1:09:52
  lives. Yeah, fantastic. It's been so great having
• 1:09:55
  you here today. Thank you for your vulnerability,
• 1:09:57
  for your willingness to share with our audience
• 1:10:00
  some of the lessons that you've taken from your
• 1:10:03
  experiences, from your career, from your life.
• 1:10:05
  Appreciate you. Thank you. As you leave this
• 1:10:08
  conversation, remember that yes, the past can
• 1:10:11
  hurt and you can either run from it or you can
• 1:10:14
  learn from it. So here's to learning and finding
• 1:10:17
  joy in the journey. See you real soon.