Latest / Your Thoughts Your Reality / Take Control Back: Trauma, TMS, and the Fourth Silent War with Michelle Strigotte

Transcript

Take Control Back: Trauma, TMS, and the Fourth Silent War with Michelle Strigotte · Your Thoughts Your Reality

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever felt like life was happening to you instead of for you?
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: For a lot of veterans, first responders and families, trauma doesn't just affect what happened in the past.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: It changes how today feels.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: It can leave you feeling anxious, disconnected, constantly on guard.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like you've lost control of your own life, right?
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: But what if healing isn't about becoming who you used to be?
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: What if it's about discovering that you can become someone even stronger?
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Today's conversation is about control, the fourth silent war, and how hope, science, and the right support can help you take your life back.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to Your Thoughts, Your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_02: Michael is a dual elite certified neuroencoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations, dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_02: Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles, procrastination, self-doubt, fear, and more.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_02: Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Michelle Stragati is the founder of Serene Integrative Services and a dedicated mental health professional.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: She helps veterans, first responders, and individuals living with PTSD, anxiety, depression, and trauma find hope through holistic mental health care, which is absolutely fantastic.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited about today's episode.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Michelle is passionate about expanding access to innovative, non-invasive treatments like TMS therapy, which we're going to talk a lot about today.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Her work focuses on helping people reconnect with themselves, their families, and their future, which is absolutely amazing.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: She believes healing is possible and that no one should have to fight their battles alone.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Michelle, welcome to your Thoughts here reality.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for having me.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_03: It's a pleasure to be here.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: And if you will, tell us a little more about yourself.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm a licensed professional counselor and, like you said, founder of Serene Integrative Services.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_03: We're here in Post Falls, Idaho.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_03: I grew up with an Army veteran, Vietnam veteran with a severe PTSD, which showed me how trauma can keep a person in survivor mode.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_03: That experiment led me to build a whole person practice serving people with trauma, depression, and anxiety, and to expand access to TMS as a non-invasive option for appropriate patients who have not found enough release through medication alone.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, thank you for saying that, but I already got me started.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I mean, doing it without medication, I'm not saying everybody understand.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm never saying get off your medication, do what's right for you and talk to your medical professional.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: But with that said, I mean, how much better would it be to heal and be better, feel better without it?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: So go ahead, please.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_03: Um, well, I mean, it's it would be lovely.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_03: It's a nervous system issue, as I think we're all growing to understand about PTSD and trauma alone is a nervous system issue.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_03: And so sometimes people, I mean, we would love everybody to be off medication.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_03: That's not something we necessarily want to push for sure, right?
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_03: So that's why PMS is such an important piece of serene integrative and working on that nervous system where it is in that fight, flight, freeze mode or survivor mode.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_03: And so it's just something that I'm very passionate about.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_03: And we've gotten a lot of good results with.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_03: And I look forward into getting more into that and how control is that silent battle that's a visible war.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: Is when when when a veteran the war is over or a first responder is out of the the crisis event, it's still that silent, continued battle within our system that people are managing and fighting every day.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: And and here's the thing, I'm gonna I'm just gonna say it is you know, obviously we're we're focused on veterans because that's what we do and first responders, all that stuff.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: But it's it's really a lot of people have trauma in different aspects in different parts of their life, right?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it be childhood or, you know, well, trauma comes in all shapes and size of everything.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: You spent three days talking about that or listening.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: So really this helps everybody, yeah?
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: TMS.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_03: It does.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_03: I've seen it help people with extreme personality disorders.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's come from the I mean, borderline personality is filled in rage, trauma.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_03: It's a it's a deep-seated trauma that somebody's living with and experiencing on a daily basis, and they they come across as, you know, they want to lash out and be angry all the time.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_03: That's not the case.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_03: It's their nervous system and TMS.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_03: We've seen great results with people with personality disorder.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_03: It's been amazing.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Fantastic.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: So um, so if you will, let's let's talk about control, the force violent work.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: What does that mean specifically to you?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_03: Uh well, as a professional and understanding PTSD a little bit from experience, it's when somebody, when someone has lived with through trauma, control can be feel like safety.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_03: If I can predict everything, if I can manage everything, if or I stay one step ahead, or maybe I will not be hurt or cut off guardigan, I do not automatically see the need for control as a stubbornness.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's often survivor mode, a protective response that once made sense.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: And and uh we had Lori Font on yesterday talking about some of this as well.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: So it just just feeds right into you know that conversation.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, so what do you think trauma let me let me say this differently?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Why does trauma make so many people feel like they've lost control of their own thoughts, emotions, and lives?
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I know my answer, but I really want to hear yours.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_03: I believe really, I again I go back to trauma changes the brain and the nervous system interprets safety, right?
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_03: So we're all having an event.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_03: The event may be over, but the body keeps a score.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_03: We've all heard you know, body keeps a score, and then that it's responding to that danger is still present.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, I gotta tell a quick story about control.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: And my my wife's gonna be laughing in the other room.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I didn't realize what it was, but you've seen the movie Sleeping with the Enemy?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I used to take my cans and stack them and space them forward and do that whole thing.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and I did not realize that was me trying to feel safe and in control until you know I've I've seen you know therapists and stuff.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: I think therapy is a beautiful thing, and so didn't realize that was me just trying to, you know, the one thing I could control, you know, kind of thing.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: My wife broke me of it beautifully because I would hear from the other room where she would just tip over a can and tink, tink.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: And it literally broke me of it not feeling like I needed that, you know?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: It was fantastic.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: So it's a long story, and I'm I'm not I'm not the guy from that movie by any means.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: So that's good.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: It is good.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Well, 24 years later, I better not be.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so what's one misconception about PTSD?
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I I I really love this question.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, what's one misconception about PTSD anxiety or depression that you wish people would stop believing?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_03: This is something that I do wish very deeply is that people would stop believing that can this condition or signs of weakness or that someone should be able to get just get over it.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_03: PT, you know, it's not a it's not a character failure.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_03: Anxiety is not overthinking, depression is not lazy or a lack of gratitude.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_03: These conditions can affect sleep, energy, memory, concentration, motivation, physical health, relationships, and the ability to feel safe.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_03: And, you know, strength is not the absence of the symptoms.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes it's saying, What can what have I been doing is no longer working and I'm willing to receive help.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: And and you know, I I want to get into you know the holistic approach to mental health because you you don't hear enough about it.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I think one of the things that's gonna really help is you know that stigma that's around PTSD and anxiety and all those things, the more we talk about it and and actually bring light to the other side holistically, I think it really will open up the door and and make changes, I think, long term, not only for people listening, but it's just the real conversations that are happening around it.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: So again, thank you, you know, for being on here.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: So and doing that.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: So as far as the holistic approach to mental health, you know, a lot of people don't understand it, even know it's there for that matter, right?
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for being one of the people that are standing up and doing it.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, what does that look like compared to traditional pharmaceuticals and all of that stuff?
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: What does that look like and and why does it matter so much?
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_03: It's getting, I think that care in general is getting to know the person and not a diagnosis or a symptom score.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_03: However, you know, with insurance companies and taking insurance companies, we still have to practice within that framework.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_03: We have to have evidence-based and but at the same time, it's really just the whole person, their brain health, their trauma history, their nervous system regulation, relationships, their sleep, their physical health, any medications that they're on.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_03: We discussed that too, and daily function and purpose and personal values and faith.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: Faith is a very important piece of a person as a whole, and having something greater than ourselves.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_03: Mine is God, and I lean on Him every day.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_03: And so that is something that we all can understand and what it takes to be whole again.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely love that.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: So let's let's dive into that a little bit further if we can.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: So as far as holistic compared to again, traditional medications and and those kinds of things, what do you what do you use, what is really the difference, if you will, with holistic?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: I understand you you getting to know the person, I think that's absolutely phenomenal, because then you really start to understand more of what they're going through instead of just what's in a textbook, right?
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_03: Or they start understanding themselves better too.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_03: And that's the way that I think any of us can manage a lot of what we deal with organically, is really trying to become self-aware and understand our own system, the way we breathe, the way we tick, the the response system that we have, and learning that it's not all, it's not bad.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_03: It's just who we are.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: And we we it's it's sometimes the identity, I think, that we we assign to it, right?
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: Correct.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: So so we're here to talk about TMS and and so on.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: So you know, many people have heard the term TMS therapy, or or maybe you have, you know, I don't I don't know, but but what is it?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then can you explain how it works and and really who it can help?
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_03: So TMS stands for transcranial magnetic stimulation, right?
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_03: It's a non-invasive prescription treatment that delivers that patients remain awake and alert while treatment coil is positioned against the scalp.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_03: The system delivers precisely targeted magnetic pulses to the areas of the brain involved in mood regulation.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_03: There is no surgery, no anesthesia.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_03: The patient can generally return to their normal activities after treatment.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_03: In our practice, we primarily use appropriate patients with major depressive disorder, especially antidepressant medication, has not provided satisfactory improvement.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_03: However, I do want to impress upon that it treats so much more than depression.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_03: And we've had we've had great results with people with PTSD, with depression, with anxiety, with pain, chronic pain.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_03: Really impressing upon that fight, flight, freeze mode, and really just those dormant synapses that sit there and it it wires them, it fires them, and people get a little that elevation out of that depression.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_03: And depending on how it's not a cure.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_03: I just want to make sure everybody understands that it's not a cure.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: Lifestyle matters, the way that we are going about life matters as well, and and how we our perspective, like your title, thoughts, our thoughts, your thoughts, your reality, right?
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's a great plug.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's a great plug, thank you.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so so so I mean, for the again, I know what it is we've talked, and so I have a very clear understanding of it for the people that don't.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: So you put again magnetic coils on your on your skull.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is not shock therapy, everybody.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: So it's can you just yeah, it's not shock therapy.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to bite down on a on a belt or a stick or whatever, however, that needs to work.
• 14:09
  unknown: Yeah.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: So it's and it runs how long, and then how many treatments do you generally suggest, or is it just everybody's different?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_03: No, it's the standard protocol is you get the 36 treatments, and that is the you know, consistency is best policy.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_03: It's Monday through Friday, and the person's in the chair for three minutes for the for the process.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_03: The first time that we meet, we have initial evaluation, make sure that their insurance covers it.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_03: If it's some insurances cover it, you got to have failed medication for most insurances unless you're active duty or FDA approved is first line treatment for adolescents.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_03: The mapping can take up to an hour just because we need to map the location in the treatment site.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_03: And however, the 36 treatments are three minutes in length.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and that's I mean, that's that's that's not the spend three minutes over a little bit.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_03: It goes it goes relatively fast too, believe it or not.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and and again, there's no pain to it.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: It's literally you're just kind of sitting there and it's doing its thing.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_03: It depends on the person's hypersensitivity too.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it it really does.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_03: It depends on a person's tolerance for stimulation, because that's what it is.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_03: Stimulation.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_03: It's stimulation, it's not shock, it's stimulation, it's waking up those dormant synapses, however, it can feel intense to some, and water is very important to when you're drinking because you don't want to be dehydrated because our nerves are a lot more sensitive during that time, right?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_03: Depending on if we're taking you know ADHD meds, a stimulant, we're gonna feel the stimulation a little bit stronger.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_03: So if there isn't, it's not without its annoyances.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's fair.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's fair.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: So so so it sounds, and I'm by all means everybody understand I'm not trying to say to use this, right?
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not trying to say to use this, but it sounds almost like a tens machine in a sense, as far as the feeling, no?
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I mean that I I think that's fair, yeah.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and again, I'm not saying use a tens machine, people very clear here.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay that is not what I'm saying.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just trying to get an idea of and the results that you get, but at the same time, right?
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so and I want to get, if you can, just a little bit more into the science of it.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: So when they're doing it, it's it, and we we talked about this again already, but if you can explain kind of how it connects, how it works, not necessarily, you know, the on the on the head, but as far as how that works into your nervous system.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_03: Well, it depends on the specific system and clinical criteria for sure, right?
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_03: TMS also may have indications involving depression with co-occurring anxiety symptoms, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and adolescent depression.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_03: Every person needs individualized medical and psychiatric evaluation to determine whether the TMS is appropriate and safe.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_03: The one thing I want to say is it if there is psychosis or if there is history of seizures or any magnetic metal that they would disqualify for TMS, we want to make sure that you know we screen for anything that could be disruptive to anybody's system because it really is working on your dormant synapses that which are the the firing, wiring, the neurons that aren't necessarily wiring, connecting.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna go again, I'm I'm throwing the questions out the window, get back to them.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: So when when you're doing this, it it's creating new neural pathways, it's strengthening neural pathways.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: What is it doing exactly, if you will?
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's doing all the above.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's what I thought, but I just wanted to be clear.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: And and you know, the other ways also to to strengthen neural pathways and that kind of things, guys, is you know, repeated things with celebration.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_00: Your brain will, when you celebrate, actually strengthens neural pathways as well.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not again as an add-on to this, would be absolutely beneficial.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_03: So um, so I think therapy could go hand in hand.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_03: Well, therapy does go hand in hand with TMS because absolutely you're fire, you're opening up pathways, and so people will talk about how they're they're experiencing memories that they've disconnected from, right?
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_03: And they're reconnecting with these memories, good and bad sometimes, right?
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_03: So you want to process those and talk about them at the same time.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_03: It could also when we have injuries, for example, right?
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_03: And our nerves get damaged in some form or fashion, and we start rewiring those nerves that were dormant as well.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_03: And people start getting certain we've had one client get feeling back in her in her face when she had surgery for removing a brain tumor.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_03: Wow, it was and she's like, and she was crying because she's like, I have not had feeling for 10 years in the left side of my face.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, how amazing would that feel for you to be there for that?
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_03: Uh yeah, it gives me chill still talking.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, me too, literally.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, that's that's fantastic.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing feels better and more fulfilling than helping people, right?
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, and I'm not saying that everybody sits there and says, Oh my gosh, this is the most amazing thing.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_03: It's the little things too, right?
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_03: I I'm I'm noticing that I'm not reacting like I used to, right?
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_03: The the agitation and frustration isn't there anymore.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm feeling like I am living again instead of just surviving.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: Love it, absolutely love it.
• 20:11
  SPEAKER_00: So, do you think some of that is just feeling again the aggravation and those things?
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: Is that partially to do with not feeling like you're in control and not understanding why you're having these issues or concerns?
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_03: For sure.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, the more that we don't understand it, the more we want to control, contain, right?
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_03: And and that's really, I think, what we're trying to do is contain what's going on internally, but looks like we're trying to control everything else outside of our in our environment.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: So so what's one breakthrough with PMS or that you've just seen that you you know witnessed, if you will, that reminded you healing really is possible.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because I want to open this up, you know, to again, we we talk about the issues.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's talk about, and we already have a little bit, but let's really open up the light into the room, right?
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: Of possibilities.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: So, what is one uh breakthrough again that you've witnessed that you know you just like, yeah, healing is really possible.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's probably a lot, right?
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: A lot, yeah.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, we've we we've been doing this for a year now, and and so you know, I just it would I wish my staff was here to also share their journey and their story because they're the in their treating.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_03: I have technicians that do the treatments and and they get to experience it firsthand and then they share stories and then or I'm talking to the clients myself and they feel one of the consistency things that we get is I feel like myself again.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sleeping through the night, like I'm sleeping better.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm laughing spontaneously, I'm reconnecting reconnecting with my spouse and my children, I'm not feeling as angry.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_03: It's that it's that anger piece, I think, more than anything that people are.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: Recognizing that they're not caring.
• 22:02
  unknown: Yeah.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_03: And and so that that now they're being able to actually feel it's manageable.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that that's that is a a beautiful thing to to I'm gonna say have hope, right?
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: To see the changes and and so on.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's just absolutely beautiful.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: And since you brought it up, I mean, how does someone's healing affect the spouse, children, friendships, the people close to them?
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, let's let's just talk about their inner circle.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's gonna have a ripple effect throughout and and so on, but how do you how does that affect the people closest to them?
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like I'm gonna tear up, so I have to really feel great.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: That will go viral.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's fine.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: Cry, it's fine.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm joking.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: I did that on purpose.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's it's heart, it's heart touching to see families and spouses feel like that relief of like it's not just them, it's not them, right?
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_03: Because they they've loved somebody that struggles with either control or and they just love them, and and then feel that sense of like connection and with their spouse that or their child that they haven't had in such a long time.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's that's about as beautiful as it gets.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you for being vulnerable and and working through that.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: I I just want to say, Michelle, it's it's beautiful how touched you are with your work, right?
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: And because you've seen it, and that's that's as good as it gets, truly.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: This is a this is a woman, this is a team, I would say, that is so passionate about helping people that it affects you emotionally.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: I do the same thing.
• 23:49
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I get goosebumps, I same things, right?
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: So you're not alone here by any means.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's it's beautiful when you when you see the change that can be affected or or happen for people.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for for talking about that.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: With with veterans and first responders who spent, and this is a big one for me to talk to talk about, because and you're gonna, I know you, you're gonna you're gonna jump right in on this for veterans and first responders who've spent years believing they just have to tough it out.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: See, I just got chills, see?
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: I knew this was gonna affect me.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, they have to tough it out.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: What would you want them to hear today from you?
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_03: I can I can relate on so many levels with that, you know, tough it out, pull up your bootstraps, you know, we got to carry on, muster up, right?
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_03: And being raised that way too.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_03: But I think there's there's the positive of that is also surviving life events when they happen and it's out of your control, right?
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_03: And understanding how to, in the process, let go of control as you're going through something and learning that if we try to gain control so tightly, that's what brings disconnection and and feeling the feeling of being unsafe.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_03: The response that helped you survive may be the same response making it difficult to rest, connect, or feel safe right now.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: And and stop you from moving forward, right?
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, just the the trying to be in control, I think for most people creates that anxiety and that stress.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you know, so I I do want to say something with with those emotions, those thoughts.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I I want you to kind of jump in as well.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I've had great success with with coachings and trainings with TTSD and and stress, anxiety.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's what we we do, right?
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: So when you can change what the definition of the trauma, when you know what the trauma was, when you can change the definition of the trauma into something positive and find the good in it.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_00: And that sounds weird to a lot of people at first, but when they think about it, of you know, I went through this, but I I made it through it.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm stronger, I learned this, I learned that.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it and generally what happens when you look back 10 years, 20 years, five years, whatever it is for you, you see those points in your life and how they've changed you.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: And when you look intentionally for those, it changes the definition of that trauma.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times that will remove the trauma of it and it becomes a gift.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: So talk to me a little bit about that.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's about identity, it's what you want to identify with, right?
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_03: Do I identify with the trauma that happened, or do I identify with I'm a survivor and I'm I'm overcome?
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_03: And I have learned some very valuable lessons in life.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_03: And sometimes a lot of most times that is helpful to our psyche, that is helpful to our nervous system.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's it's you don't have to prove your strength in suffering alone.
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_03: Receiving treatment is not surrender.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_03: It's a decision to stop allowing past danger to command your rest of your life, right?
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_03: The goal is not to take away courage or vigilance or discipline or identity, it's to also realize how courageous somebody was, how disciplined somebody was to go through that.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_03: And it's beautiful.
• 27:25
  unknown: Yeah.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: I I love that.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's really, you know, we talk about it asking for help.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: This is the same thing, right?
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's it's not a weakness, it's the most courageous thing you can do for you and your family.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna say this generationally, right?
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because it it will go generationally.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I love what you said there.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_00: So for the person listening who's exhausted, overwhelmed, and wondering if life will ever feel different, right?
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because people get to that point.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: What's one thing they can do literally today, and I always challenge people to take an action now, to begin moving toward hope.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_03: I'd say the first step, one is to admit that I'm not okay and as strong as I am, I'm not feeling strong right now.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_03: Choose one point of connection, tell somebody that they're exhausted, they're overwhelmed, I need help taking the next step.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_03: That is that is courage, that is strength, that is not weakness.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_03: And that's really the takeaway here is it is not weakness.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_03: I heard that most of my life, that if you even with emotions, right?
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_03: If you show emotions, you show vulnerability, that is weakness, and that's not a truth.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_03: That is denying us who we are, really.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: I I love the way you said that.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I just realized we're we're already going over time.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh boy.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but it's a beautiful thing, and it's okay.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: We own the place, we can go over time.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: So, Michelle, for everyone listening who connected with your message today, what's the best way for them to learn more about you know serene integrative services, connect with you, or support the work we're doing?
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I think one of the best ways is to go to our website, sereneintegrative.org.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_03: People can read about our what we do and or contact our team.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_03: And we're here in Post Falls, 208-719-7158, or email info at serenintegrative.org.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_00: Beautiful, beautiful.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: And and I am super excited to to just know that people are reaching out and the work you're doing is absolutely beautiful.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: It really is.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and as we know, time is the most precious resource we have as human beings.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: We don't get it back, right?
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I just want to thank you for spending this moment in time to help our mission and really make a difference.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you for having me, and it was an honor.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: If something in today's conversation resonated with you, don't just move on to the next thing.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_00: Sit with it for a minute.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: Why did this affect me?
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: Not in a negative way, but in a positive way.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: So change can happen.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's again the most courageous thing you can do, right?
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_00: Is just reach out, talk to somebody, take an action, make the next move.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: If you know someone who may need to hear this as well, share this episode with them.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: You can also join us at your thoughtsyourreality.com where we continue these conversations around identity, transition, resilience, and growth.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, your thoughts shape your reality.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_00: We're out of here.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of Your Thoughts, your reality podcast with your host, Michael Cole.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_02: We hope the conversation sparks some thoughts that resonate with you.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_02: To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit EmpowerPerformance Strategies.com.
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_02: Remember, your thoughts take your reality, so make them happen.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_02: Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_02: Catch you on the next episode.