Latest / Very Fine Friends / Bonus IMPROV - Have Your Elbows Always Looked Like That?
Transcript
- 0:00welcome to friends like us bonus bonus
- 0:17Improb.
- 0:21Improb?
- 0:23Improb.
- 0:27Joe, could we please get a suggestion for our scene?
- 0:31Your suggestion is misunderstanding.
- 0:36Misunderstanding.
- 0:38This reminds me of one time I was driving into a parking garage
- 0:44and uh there was a lady and her like daughter that were walking like down the parking garage
- 0:52like close to the cars like enough that i could go around them they were still kind of in my way
- 0:55um but i drive in and then um hit them i run them over with my car no um as i'm driving towards them
- 1:04my automatic lights turn on because it's been in the dark long enough so it looks like i'm just
- 1:11like flashing my lights at this like lady and her daughter and it felt very aggressive and i didn't
- 1:17just i hope the lady wasn't like thinking like that was me being like get out of my way oh she
- 1:23didn't react at all this is all in your head yeah but it felt at the at the time like it was maybe
- 1:29because i think maybe at the this this was a few years ago um i still think about it sometimes
- 1:34like i think i also then at like right after that like kind of like move to the middle so that i
- 1:40would go around them like i'm driving they're in the distance they're on the side that i'm driving
- 1:47on right i'm driving on the right and they're coming towards me and then so like i moved around
- 1:53after that so i think it looked a little it might have looked aggressive well maybe they thought it
- 1:58was deliberate maybe when you turn your lights well sorry i'm putting it on you maybe when the
- 2:02lights turned on um yeah i didn't do this toyota yes yes maybe they enjoyed the spotlight maybe
- 2:08they were like oh she wants to see us we're a star you could have just changed the trajectory
- 2:14of that little girl's life because the mom could have been like i want you to be an accountant
- 2:18someday and little girl's like no i want to be lit up in bright lights i want to stand in front
- 2:23of cars she could be a nascar flag waver oh or what if i sent her down a bad path where she's
- 2:31one of those ladies in skimpy clothes that waves the flag to start a drag race with hooligans
- 2:38Oh, an unofficial racing event.
- 2:40Yeah.
- 2:41Well, that is actually the barrier to entry to getting into NASCAR.
- 2:46I've heard you have to start in drag races.
- 2:49NASCAR has scouts at all that.
- 2:53They're just someone like a trench coat and a fake mustache taking notes.
- 2:57Yeah.
- 2:57I like the way she dropped that flag.
- 3:00All right She could be honest Yeah We could take her from this life Make an honest woman out of her I would never want to do that because I be worried I was going to get run over
- 3:12Yeah.
- 3:13But it seems like the ladies all seem like it's a real honor to be doing that.
- 3:20Yeah, they do, huh?
- 3:22And they all look good, don't they?
- 3:24Yeah, I mean...
- 3:25You gotta be hot to do that.
- 3:25You gotta be hot.
- 3:27Yeah.
- 3:27and so i guess that maybe that's why they're happy because they know they're hot yeah he's like oh
- 3:33thank god yeah look at the job i have i couldn't do this if i wasn't hot yep yeah what if you oh
- 3:39i'd be so embarrassed what if you were hot and you got the job and like you you know sometimes
- 3:44like someone in the audience of a swim like thing will like make a noise on accident and like it's a
- 3:49false start oh yeah what if that happened at your drag drag car event drag race yeah then what so
- 4:01what would i have i accidentally drop a handkerchief before it's supposed to start yeah like where your
- 4:06dexterity was off or something or there was a bee a nighttime bee and that like that ruins your
- 4:12career and that's like that's her was like she's not ready and that's like the thing that you look
- 4:17back on 30 years later yeah yeah then now you gotta get an ugly job but no one wants to hire
- 4:21you because this is only for ugly people yeah oh man oh this poor girl what did i do to her
- 4:27yeah all because you went to a garage i'm never doing that again at least you learned
- 4:34yeah i did and now improv
- 4:40Peter.
- 4:47Yeah?
- 4:48Peter, oh my god, the letter came.
- 4:51Oh my god, what does it say?
- 4:52I'm opening, I'm so scared, I'm so nervous.
- 4:54Don't be, don't be.
- 4:56All my life I've wanted to get into hot college.
- 5:00You got this.
- 5:01I love you, Peter.
- 5:03Oh, babe, I love you too.
- 5:04Okay, I'm opening it.
- 5:06Oh.
- 5:06it says we regret to inform you what oh my god no wait wait you didn't get into hot college no
- 5:17how could this be you always tell me i'm so beautiful yeah well i thought you were i guess
- 5:22i'm wrong no what do you mean peter no i need your support right now are you backing away
- 5:27because suddenly wait if your elbows always look like that peter peter what are you doing with that
- 5:33suitcase i wouldn't nothing you idiot peter no i'm i'm just an average idiot now i'm upset i need
- 5:45you i'm gonna reapply next year they could be wrong no no no i i've been taught college
- 5:53monica they're never wrong peter but you were my reference there i'm a legacy admission i don't
- 6:03understand how this could happen I don either I mean your parents are both smoke shows Peter I feeling like you backing out of this relationship and I need you to stay right now I so fragile
- 6:17I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, look. Extra mail. Here's another letter from hot safety school.
- 6:30Hot safety school. Okay. A backup school is always good.
- 6:34You are a dog.
- 6:36Who wrote this?
- 6:37Oh, even hot safety school doesn't want you?
- 6:41Peter, what do I do?
- 6:43Thank God I have you.
- 6:45I am Monica, babe.
- 6:47I can't be with someone who's not hot.
- 6:53What?
- 6:53By academic standards?
- 6:55What?
- 6:56We've built such a nice...
- 6:57Wait a minute.
- 6:57Doesn't my personality count for anything?
- 6:59I know that for school, hotness is important, but not for love.
- 7:02No.
- 7:04Sorry.
- 7:04i'm one of those deep people that feels like you really should be hot to be in a relationship
- 7:11what do i do what do you think what's my life supposed to look like now
- 7:15i don't know what that's up to you oh my god wait you here's another letter
- 7:21you it's from fugo university you applied to fugo university no it must have my my counselor
- 7:31must have it's a joke it's got your name on it oh man it's a big envelope open it i can't bear
- 7:36oh big envelope it's one of those big ones that they send peter send brochures and all the like
- 7:43extra material you need to know and what oh skip to the letter dear monica babe
- 7:51we're so happy no put it down no this is a joke no i'm not going that you not only have been
- 8:02accepted to foggo university but we are naming the dining hall after you i need to lie down
- 8:10we're gonna have a statue made of you so that everyone can see your thankles in bronze honey
- 8:18i didn't even know what you do have thankles no that's i never even heard the word thankle
- 8:23it's a thick ankle it's oh my god the calf just goes down and it doesn't taper off
- 8:29oh i don't know what to do monica babe please peter i'm asking you one last time
- 8:35if you leave i don't know what i'll do okay i i gotta see how i gotta see how the public reacts
- 8:46to this i'm gonna be honest i still might leave but i'll give you let's let's go to dinner and
- 8:53see what happens okay this has to be a big misunderstanding cut to dinner
- 8:56table for one i'm assuming uh no she she's with me table for two hi
- 9:08Oh Oh is this Is this like a make a wish thing Peter stand up for my honor No That my girlfriend
- 9:22She's with me.
- 9:24Tell her I'm hot.
- 9:26She's got a great personality.
- 9:28For two, please.
- 9:29Table for two.
- 9:32All right, babe.
- 9:33I don't know if I can do this.
- 9:37Peter, what changed?
- 9:39What changed? We were happy yesterday.
- 9:41We never went out in public.
- 9:44I guess, I don't know.
- 9:48Our relationship has been solely inside.
- 9:50I guess I never saw your reflection in other people's eyes.
- 9:55It's throwing me.
- 9:57I'm sorry.
- 9:57A great personality is one thing, but you gotta be hot, babe.
- 10:01Okay, Peter.
- 10:02I'm not superficial.
- 10:04We're just a personality is enough for me.
- 10:06Okay, well.
- 10:07Oh, God, here comes the waiter.
- 10:08Okay.
- 10:09hold on let me put the menu a little bit in front of my face oh thank you yeah
- 10:14well well well the lovely couple is ready for dinner you can order for me um
- 10:25uh i'll have oops i dropped the menu
- 10:30what is it oh no peter
- 10:35i cannot serve you at this restaurant we have standards sir what are you doing
- 10:47uh i know i'm sorry i'm sorry can you just
- 10:52can you just look past it maybe bring us a couple of lobsters i'll tip well i promise
- 11:00in a mirrored dish.
- 11:03We cannot have your reflection
- 11:05in this restaurant
- 11:07scaring the other customers.
- 11:12Peter, maybe I can't mess up your life like this.
- 11:15If this is how it's going to be,
- 11:16I need to just go off and be on my own.
- 11:19I fully support that decision.
- 11:21Peter!
- 11:22What? Monica, babe!
- 11:23It's a test.
- 11:25Fine.
- 11:26They broke up.
- 11:28Cut to a nondescript medical office building.
- 11:30Doctor?
- 11:34Yeah?
- 11:35I'm gonna take the bag off my head.
- 11:37Oh, you can't scare me. I've seen it all.
- 11:40I need to warn you.
- 11:42I'm not getting great reviews these days.
- 11:45But I need you to fix my face, so you're gonna have to look at me.
- 11:48Hey, I'm a miracle worker. I can do anything.
- 11:51Okay. Hot Monica, you can do this.
- 11:55And it's me.
- 11:58Ah!
- 12:00and scene