Latest / Dear Son, / Read the Room: Awareness, Tact, and Raising Kids Into Adulthood | Ep 194 | The Dear Son, Show

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Read the Room: Awareness, Tact, and Raising Kids Into Adulthood | Ep 194 | The Dear Son, Show · Dear Son,

0:00
[SPEAKER_02]: the getting to a yes, getting to what, getting to a yes, getting to a yes, right?
0:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Is he playing hard to get?
0:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Is she making it difficult?
0:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you being coached that this is just a process?
0:16
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, the first note is the first, you know, that kind of thing.
0:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Like that, that concerns me if they're falling into like conquer culture.
0:29
[SPEAKER_03]: Man, like you got a Yes, can turn into a no The minute you just turns to know it's no it's now no don't wait for the oh, my boy No, it's no Is no Is no It's not I'm laughing but I'm serious very much because it's like
0:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Alright guys, let's get it.
0:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to the Dead Sun Show.
0:57
[SPEAKER_02]: We have meaningful conversations about life through the lens of Fatherhood.
1:01
[SPEAKER_02]: It is four fathers, those with fathers, and the fatherless nobody's left out.
1:06
[SPEAKER_02]: These are the conversations we want our sons, the accents, and as they grow through life in the manhoods, no topics are off limits.
1:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Me, I'm just wanting to get hold of these guns.
1:14
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm your other host, Jay Black.
1:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Jay Black, how you feel about my brother?
1:16
[SPEAKER_03]: Alright, well, and it's summertime.
1:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Fun fact, I was about to wear that shirt.
1:20
[SPEAKER_03]: Listen, I just noticed that I pop the shirt and see it to myself.
1:24
[SPEAKER_03]: This will be the day we'll pop by the same shirt.
1:26
[SPEAKER_03]: That's why you see it there.
1:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Black with the rolls though, you see it like it, uh, it's probably on the side.
1:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Then how you can get to it.
1:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Matter of fact, we're working out, uh, a customization approach, um, because the the number of combinations that can't be done,
1:43
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not feasible for me to print all of those.
1:46
[SPEAKER_02]: I print them one demand.
1:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So color combinations are available.
1:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Get to your college team, your college colors, your flat, your sorority colors, anything you can think of with the classic design that Jay Black is.
2:03
[SPEAKER_03]: I rocked my purple and gold.
2:04
[SPEAKER_02]: We can get that, man.
2:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's go.
2:06
[SPEAKER_02]: just the the latest design network we tried it all right here in this patch so like share subscribe like share and subscribe thank you thank you thank you for the feedback
2:19
[SPEAKER_02]: specifically the feedback letting us know how it impacts you.
2:23
[SPEAKER_02]: I know we always say thank you for engaging and all that, but that is the few for me anyway.
2:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I was just saying, I agree.
2:32
[SPEAKER_02]: There you go.
2:33
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the few, because there's enough noise to cut through, and I've done a significantly better job of
2:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Not even engaging.
2:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Not looking for it.
2:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, cuz I think I used to look for it.
2:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but I'll thank thank you for for those that are letting us know how it impacts you that is super important.
2:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel good, man.
2:49
[SPEAKER_02]: I feel good as a blessing.
2:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
3:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm turning to the right direction, I don't know if it's turning to ran, I don't know if it's sliding to the left or to the right, but things are pointing in a new and better direction to me.
3:12
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm, I am, I am grateful, man.
3:15
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, that's what being grateful about, man, because listen.
3:20
[SPEAKER_02]: that we in some change in times right now very much so yeah very much like a lot of serious things going on yeah a lot of unsurious things that are distracting us as if they are serious going on and that kind of kind of pushes right into the right into the topic man this is one that's been in the bank for a minute and I won't say we ran from it we just
3:51
[SPEAKER_01]: read the room, read the room, hide in the awareness.
4:01
[SPEAKER_03]: We are the need for hiding the awareness is that in all time high, very much, uh, walking into a room or being in an
4:20
[SPEAKER_03]: You can sometimes not be aware of the consequences.
4:23
[SPEAKER_03]: It carries because you're just being you.
4:29
[SPEAKER_03]: Be careful, you're just being you because there's a time and a place for everything.
4:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm so glad you said that, and I'm very important to be you, very important for my children to have an individuality to have
4:48
[SPEAKER_02]: their own personality, but sometimes it scares me to what cost that that is celebrate right because it's almost like now anything that sounds contrary to what you thought your brain is wrong.
5:05
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, right?
5:06
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes.
5:07
[SPEAKER_02]: And anything contrary that is trying to control you or force you to
5:17
[SPEAKER_02]: structure.
5:19
[SPEAKER_02]: In terms of just getting out there and living loose.
5:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
5:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Understand who you are, be confident who you are, but they're all parameters to.
5:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, there's no good way to.
5:33
[SPEAKER_02]: There's no way to say it without somebody taking it another way.
5:36
[SPEAKER_02]: That's parameters to how you show up.
5:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
5:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Or maybe there's not there's parameters to how you are received when you show up, because you can do what you want.
5:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
5:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Three adult children in my house, they can, they can most certainly
5:51
[SPEAKER_02]: take actions that I don't like.
5:53
[SPEAKER_02]: They are consequences at this stage, man.
5:57
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a different mode of parenting with the 18, 20, and 22, than with the 12, and 11.
6:03
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, certainly.
6:04
[SPEAKER_02]: What should I take?
6:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Because we got, I mean, you got that, well, neither of us really have little anymore.
6:10
[SPEAKER_02]: We call them little, some of them.
6:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, do you, have you seen the shift in your attention
6:18
[SPEAKER_02]: them being themselves or in terms of how you celebrate or encourage or isn't even a conversation, man, because I'm sitting here thinking like, I don't think my younger children know that they can beat themselves with it.
6:38
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't think we've had a lot of conversations about exactly what that means.
6:42
[SPEAKER_03]: We have an either.
6:43
[SPEAKER_03]: And and
6:45
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm really trying to observe more so than hands on mode, because I really want them to develop their individuality, but also you gotta be careful.
7:03
[SPEAKER_03]: putting your hands in too soon and creating the group think I'll go along to get a long personality as well.
7:11
[SPEAKER_03]: So the biggest thing I can honestly say this out loud and I really don't care how it's taking.
7:18
[SPEAKER_03]: But, um,
7:21
[SPEAKER_03]: For instance, brain brain is so focused, that's my middle son, Bishop, we call him brain because he literally, he talks about everything like on a molecular schedule, uh, uh, scale.
7:34
[SPEAKER_03]: It's.
7:36
[SPEAKER_03]: Like he told me about light reflecting off images this morning and that's how you actually do you know how to call a spectrum that I'm like, hey man, come on.
7:45
[SPEAKER_03]: Just just see my boy.
7:48
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
7:48
[SPEAKER_03]: So he'd be hidden me with stuff like that.
7:50
[SPEAKER_03]: So I say that to say I often have conversations with him.
7:55
[SPEAKER_03]: He's driven by he wants to inform.
8:00
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
8:00
[SPEAKER_03]: He wants to educate.
8:03
[SPEAKER_03]: Be careful because that can come across as a cocky arrogant braggadoshes like look what I know as opposed to you can be rooted in I'm just trying to shit this information man.
8:16
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm I'm intrigued by information.
8:18
[SPEAKER_03]: I am assuming everyone is equally intrigued and interested in facts and information.
8:25
[SPEAKER_03]: Sometimes people are turned off by that.
8:28
[SPEAKER_03]: They were offended by that.
8:30
[SPEAKER_03]: They're not knowing something could put them in a place of that being offensive.
8:35
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, while you assume, and I don't know that when the actuality they possibly did not.
8:40
[SPEAKER_03]: So I say all of that to say, because he's sold that guy.
8:47
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm subconsciously focused or worried if that's a good word, concern, aware of who you socially though.
9:00
[SPEAKER_03]: Like when you turn the switch off of academia, like who's your natural everyday, can you be in everyday person?
9:12
[SPEAKER_03]: Criticism will come with, maybe that is his everyday person that elevates and that's cool, but come on, man.
9:19
[SPEAKER_03]: The circles and the, there's a layback level to life, period.
9:24
[SPEAKER_03]: There have been people that I've witnessed that are always on the brilliant.
9:32
[SPEAKER_03]: And in the workforce, unmatched.
9:36
[SPEAKER_03]: socially, socially awkward, never really find true love because of, I don't know how to have a regular natural perhaps meaningless type, banter conversation with a person.
9:51
[SPEAKER_03]: I want you to be balanced.
9:52
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm seeking way around that children.
9:55
[SPEAKER_03]: I want you to be great in that area, but I want you to equally be great socially because that's equally important to me, to my wife, to our household.
10:02
[SPEAKER_03]: So I focus on
10:05
[SPEAKER_03]: But I'm seeing like him running with his little partners.
10:08
[SPEAKER_03]: So now he'll hit me with the C'mon, bro.
10:10
[SPEAKER_03]: Will you even get that from?
10:11
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm like, yes.
10:13
[UNKNOWN]: Ha ha ha.
10:14
[SPEAKER_03]: As crazy as that may be received, that just shows me that he's both ends of the spectrum.
10:20
[SPEAKER_03]: And that's all I want.
10:21
[SPEAKER_03]: Right.
10:22
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, I know how you feel about the word balance.
10:24
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't know what I mean.
10:25
[SPEAKER_03]: Counter, counter that with some, some everydayness.
10:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah, I'm all for Will around it then.
10:30
[SPEAKER_02]: And I,
10:33
[SPEAKER_02]: like this whole process, and I probably believe it of coming out of corporate with this year for now is actually becoming myself again, or figuring out who I really am because I was the person that was that I felt like had always been on.
10:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
10:48
[SPEAKER_02]: With a very select group of people, you know, I let loose away, have you.
10:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And I realized as the years have come, you know, the most recent years have passed is that I don't always know how to let that go.
11:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, because I'm always thinking like, who's watching and I don't even know if it's in a self-conscious sense or have I just not turned off the switch, man.
11:15
[SPEAKER_02]: It's almost like co-switching
11:19
[SPEAKER_02]: became less co-switching than almost who I was because I just stayed in that in that mode.
11:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
11:27
[SPEAKER_02]: And a lot of that has to do with reading the room in corporate, but corporate is necessarily a true representation of how life works.
11:41
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a very specific often
11:47
[SPEAKER_02]: But life, everybody isn't working to work that common goal with that same fervor or energy, right?
11:55
[SPEAKER_02]: In expectation of this has to be or we fail, right?
12:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I looked at a lot of life like it was kind of past fail.
12:06
[SPEAKER_02]: You can pass at a very high rate, but failure, failure is failure.
12:11
[SPEAKER_02]: So look at my children, man.
12:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Just on.
12:15
[SPEAKER_02]: It's interesting that you say it hanging with their friends because even just listening to Eli playing the game, yeah, yeah, or when at FaceTime and in their group chat or whatever hand to conversations.
12:26
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, okay, just like, I'm like, okay, okay, okay.
12:31
[SPEAKER_02]: When I hear them not buy into a foot, that's somebody puts out there.
12:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll call something silly, that silly, because it's actually a bad idea that's going to get along with it.
12:43
[SPEAKER_02]: But also, Eli got the cutting words from, I don't know if you got it from me, or,
12:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Right, he got it from me.
12:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I was from the same.
12:53
[SPEAKER_02]: He got it from me.
12:55
[SPEAKER_02]: So sometimes, I was like, ah, and it is that again, not one, make him a different person, but it's like also, you can be that person, but with other people read and react to you being that person, now well, right, now well, how they're gonna receive it.
13:17
[SPEAKER_03]: And now it's like,
13:19
[SPEAKER_03]: sometimes how it's received, and one that wasn't your intent, and two, that's not your character or your personality.
13:26
[SPEAKER_03]: You just kind of, you in the moment, and it was lighthearted, but it was received heavy.
13:33
[SPEAKER_03]: You know what I mean?
13:34
[SPEAKER_03]: So yeah, that's a valid point, but that's, I'm glad you see it there because another part of that, the goal on to get along,
13:40
[SPEAKER_03]: reading the room of you look around and all your peers enjoy a certain thing an activity or a sound or music or food or whatever it is a culture even.
13:54
[SPEAKER_03]: And if you look around and you read the room and say, everybody loves this.
14:00
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm going by this new
14:02
[SPEAKER_03]: music because this would all of this.
14:05
[SPEAKER_03]: You're supposed to like this.
14:07
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
14:07
[SPEAKER_03]: This my era.
14:09
[SPEAKER_03]: This is the goat of this time.
14:11
[SPEAKER_03]: So I'm supposed to, I'm supposed to go get that new so and so it just drop.
14:16
[SPEAKER_03]: I dare not be the only person that does that does not have it.
14:19
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
14:20
[SPEAKER_03]: Read the room.
14:21
[SPEAKER_03]: If you hate it, you hate it.
14:23
[SPEAKER_03]: Right.
14:23
[SPEAKER_03]: If you don't enjoy it, you don't enjoy it.
14:25
[SPEAKER_03]: You don't like it.
14:26
[SPEAKER_03]: You don't like it.
14:27
[SPEAKER_03]: Don't be afraid to stand down.
14:29
[SPEAKER_03]: That's not my thing.
14:30
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
14:31
[SPEAKER_03]: reading the room of, if I have to read the room and I can really genuinely because perhaps the room is filled with my people, my friends, and I know how you think moving, what you actually like, we've had conversations on the side, perhaps.
14:46
[SPEAKER_03]: I know you don't even like this, but I'm reading the room of, this isn't as great, because sometimes you'll second
14:59
[SPEAKER_03]: be you.
15:00
[SPEAKER_03]: It's okay for you to be different.
15:01
[SPEAKER_03]: However, also be mindful of you don't even like that like that.
15:06
[SPEAKER_03]: But now I see we in this room.
15:08
[SPEAKER_03]: and you over the top number one, if I didn't know you didn't like this, I would swear, you were a super fan of this.
15:17
[SPEAKER_03]: Right.
15:17
[SPEAKER_03]: That's valuable information for later more serious situations, because this person could be the habitual gas lighter.
15:28
[SPEAKER_03]: You see what I'm saying so now?
15:31
[SPEAKER_03]: This is a necessarily the person I want to go to for serious life advice.
15:35
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, you're going to hype me up on something you don't really stand on.
15:39
[SPEAKER_03]: Man, what you think about this decision about to make man go all in 10 toes, I see it in you.
15:46
[SPEAKER_03]: But now I have to want to do you feel like that for real, right?
15:49
[SPEAKER_03]: Or you think that's what I want to hear.
15:51
[SPEAKER_03]: And you are yes, man.
15:53
[SPEAKER_03]: And you're really just trying to give me what you want me to hear.
15:57
[SPEAKER_03]: No, man, for real, like, I'm, it's a yes or no right now.
16:01
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm really at a cross road.
16:02
[SPEAKER_03]: I respect you, give me some insight.
16:07
[SPEAKER_02]: What's up, something I just had to make me think about the word context, right?
16:10
[SPEAKER_02]: When you, you know, you're amongst your friends and you have a poor, there's some history there, like be mindful of who else is a ran.
16:21
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's, and again, it's not about turning yourself off,
16:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Like you and I can have a conversation in the garage, right?
16:31
[SPEAKER_02]: And everything means what we wanted to mean, right?
16:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, somebody walking past the garage door when it's up.
16:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Here's something in the sounds.
16:40
[SPEAKER_02]: It sounds crazy.
16:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
16:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Now that part we can't control, but if we're in an environment, I'm going to read the room to understand who may take this out of context.
16:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And it may be
16:54
[SPEAKER_02]: my old school, it may be me suppressing whoever whatever the thoughts may be.
17:01
[SPEAKER_02]: But I think there's something to being respectful of your environment.
17:06
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't think that necessarily changes who you are, right?
17:13
[SPEAKER_02]: If I say this thing to you, it means something, if I say this thing to you and this person is sitting right here,
17:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Another thing that the my potions to say all the time in prayer and Lord help me not helping not to cause another to stumble, right?
17:25
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's things that I enjoy that I know you enjoy, but I know is a is a slippery slope for this person.
17:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
17:34
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
17:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Some would say, hey, well, you know, I mean, just you do you, you know, it's on then what they do, but sometimes in a lot of cases, I feel a responsibility to not be irresponsible
17:49
[SPEAKER_02]: or to encourage somebody to be irresponsible, especially if I know a thing about a node.
17:55
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not suggesting we walk in, you know, we walk in the bar and say, who's an A8?
17:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, because you should be here anyway.
18:00
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm not saying that, but if I know a thing for I can see that something is uncomfortable for a person, I want my children to have that kind of awareness so that if they choose to still indulge and go forward, I want them to do it having the understanding,
18:18
[SPEAKER_02]: So that they can make a decision kind of kind of thinking two or three steps ahead of what may happen.
18:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
18:23
[SPEAKER_02]: If you still choose to go, I mean, you got to live with whatever come with it, but I don't want them to be so blind and so I need, this is my world, you know what I'm saying?
18:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Nobody can tell me nothing, man.
18:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Not even in this respect for way, but just thinking that nothing else matters other than their bubble.
18:42
[SPEAKER_02]: tastefully.
18:44
[SPEAKER_03]: That's that's that's what stood out tastefully, tact.
18:49
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
18:50
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, speak where I'm not going to because again, if I know you're dealing with this or you you get carried away even with this, I I would hope that I wouldn't be the person that
19:07
[SPEAKER_03]: Well, let me drop this.
19:08
[SPEAKER_03]: Let me drop it on in the right.
19:10
[SPEAKER_03]: See, I lose itself tonight.
19:14
[SPEAKER_03]: That's that's a good point.
19:15
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm glad you said that because that's that's important.
19:17
[SPEAKER_03]: I support that get glazed over a lot.
19:19
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
19:20
[SPEAKER_03]: Um, everybody want to be so real.
19:22
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to keep it real.
19:27
[SPEAKER_03]: That's objective, man.
19:28
[SPEAKER_03]: Listen.
19:29
[SPEAKER_03]: your real is your real, your reality is your reality, your norm is your norm, every single person walking the earth absolutely does not deserve the same level of access for me.
19:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Correct.
19:41
[SPEAKER_03]: They just do not.
19:42
[SPEAKER_03]: There's things that it's life life is about membership in levels and inclusion and you can you can categorize it, however you would like.
19:52
[SPEAKER_03]: And you can this day and have this day and forward or disagree with it, but it's a part of your everyday life, even if whether you choose to acknowledge that or not.
20:02
[SPEAKER_03]: Their certain department stores or warehouse stores, you can't go into unless you have paid or done a certain thing to get that level of access.
20:11
[SPEAKER_03]: There's tears to that.
20:13
[SPEAKER_03]: the business owners and the VIP get to come in at 7 a.m. instead of 9 a.m. life is about access.
20:20
[SPEAKER_03]: So you haven't demonstrated anything to me.
20:24
[SPEAKER_03]: And that's not to say that's negative.
20:27
[SPEAKER_03]: Haven't had that level of exposure to each other.
20:29
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't know.
20:30
[SPEAKER_03]: You like that.
20:30
[SPEAKER_03]: You don't know me like that.
20:32
[SPEAKER_03]: Or perhaps I have.
20:33
[SPEAKER_03]: And I've realized
20:35
[SPEAKER_03]: There's certain conversations I just, I'm not comfortable having in front of you all around you.
20:40
[SPEAKER_03]: And that's perfectly acceptable.
20:42
[SPEAKER_03]: Vice versa.
20:43
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm not saying this in front of Jay Black, man.
20:45
[SPEAKER_03]: I, he gonna, it might trigger him.
20:47
[SPEAKER_03]: He gonna pop off.
20:48
[SPEAKER_03]: He gonna laugh.
20:48
[SPEAKER_03]: He might make a joke out of it.
20:50
[SPEAKER_03]: He may take it serious.
20:51
[SPEAKER_03]: Whatever the case may be, certain things aren't for everybody.
20:58
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
20:58
[SPEAKER_03]: So if I look around and okay, it's D-Jones in here.
21:03
[SPEAKER_03]: Hey, man, listen, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right
21:30
[SPEAKER_03]: It's not offensive to me because I know what you mean.
21:34
[SPEAKER_03]: And you know, you know, I had no malice in my heart.
21:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I like the word as you said on offensive because intent doesn't matter when it comes to harm.
21:46
[SPEAKER_02]: But that's the thought that I stole from somebody.
21:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know who to get credit to.
21:50
[SPEAKER_02]: But it was a conversation around I didn't mean it.
21:55
[SPEAKER_02]: It's still hurt.
21:57
[SPEAKER_02]: It still has, it still calls an injury, it calls a harm.
22:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And to not have any responsibility, only because you didn't mean for that to happen, I want my children to be consciously aware of those things too.
22:15
[SPEAKER_02]: So I think about, um, just my crew coming up and, you know, we're still connected to guys that I'm talking about, but that was absolutely situations that we knew not to put each other in.
22:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Like because of, temper, because of whatever it is, I don't need to, I don't need to go in this place.
22:34
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't need to have my brownies.
22:35
[SPEAKER_02]: People, and it wasn't necessarily a thing to not be friends over, no,
22:46
[SPEAKER_02]: that comes with time and experience, though, right?
22:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, like, nail, you may want to do something where you know not to call me.
22:55
[SPEAKER_02]: And it doesn't make it wrong.
22:56
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, it deprving that going to that.
23:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Same with you.
23:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Right.
23:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And I don't want, I don't want my children, like you said earlier, going along for the sake of the friendship.
23:11
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's sometimes that can be dangerous
23:16
[SPEAKER_02]: the reference that I make it to my friends, that's the result of a lot of things happening that we got through.
23:24
[SPEAKER_02]: That experience.
23:27
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want my children to go through 85% of the things that we went through, same.
23:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Because of choices that we may, right?
23:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
23:39
[SPEAKER_02]: So in hindsight,
23:42
[SPEAKER_02]: The choices weren't necessarily great, but we got through them together, and we understood life and progress through life together, and here we are.
23:50
[SPEAKER_02]: But in it, those choices to be in the same space with the ignorance or be the ignorant one could have changed our lives forever, and not even having to be
24:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Primarily mind it or intending to go out and do harm to a thing, but being connected to a person that cares less about an environment that you do.
24:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I tell much like, when y'all go, when you out with your friends, it's y'all.
24:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Through and through, it is y'all, and depending on what the makeup is, it's definitely going to be you.
24:26
[SPEAKER_02]: It might be you and a couple of others that might be you on all level, but that I mean that's that's that's the target you were born with on your back.
24:33
[SPEAKER_02]: So, while unfair and I'm not dismissing it as it shouldn't be that way.
24:41
[SPEAKER_02]: While it is that way, I need you to understand that it move accordingly.
24:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Break.
24:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Break the room.
24:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you have wanting to look at when they're around friends or friends around us like who's allowed?
24:54
[SPEAKER_02]: The loud one gets my attention and it's not because you can't be loud and have a good time, but what is your loud do?
25:01
[SPEAKER_02]: What is your loud like?
25:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Is it a loud laugh?
25:05
[SPEAKER_02]: You have a loud voice.
25:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
25:07
[SPEAKER_02]: But I know you, but I can be beside you out in the out in the environments.
25:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I know
25:15
[SPEAKER_03]: The laugh is the last.
25:17
[SPEAKER_02]: The laugh is not gonna lead to we ain't here rumbling, right?
25:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Cause I might swing first.
25:22
[SPEAKER_02]: That's different.
25:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, but, but, but, but, like, paying attention to that.
25:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
25:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Cause you can write off a thing like, oh, she's, she's just like that.
25:31
[SPEAKER_02]: But, he just liked that.
25:32
[SPEAKER_02]: And until you are putting one of those situations in, the dad, the downside for them, the upside for me as a parent is the surveillance tools we got right in it.
25:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And everybody's waiting for you to have a moment that you didn't want to have a public.
25:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And they right there.
25:50
[SPEAKER_02]: If any of the moments that we had from 16 to about 22, could be immediately publicized for the world judgment,
26:09
[SPEAKER_03]: Park has can't say man.
26:11
[SPEAKER_03]: Park has can't say life.
26:15
[SPEAKER_03]: All life.
26:16
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, yes, if I'm going to be honest.
26:18
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, because I got a plan that's in his day.
26:24
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm not, if we go on outside, I'm not riding with him.
26:28
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm not, I'm not riding with him.
26:30
[SPEAKER_03]: I got to pull it.
26:30
[SPEAKER_03]: I got it going to your pad down.
26:34
[SPEAKER_03]: Hey, hey, hey, man, so like you said, the opportunity when you get the opportunity of your son and their friends hanging out in a group and you can kind of remove yourself enough to let them be them and then they start naturally being who they are, don't stop it, don't interrupt it, observe, you need to know.
27:03
[SPEAKER_03]: What is how this role, if there's a voice of reason in the group, which typically is me, all of my circles that I'm in, believe it or not, I am the voice of reason.
27:14
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm for certain.
27:14
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm confident with that.
27:15
[SPEAKER_03]: That's it.
27:16
[SPEAKER_03]: When the train, jump off the rails, man.
27:18
[SPEAKER_03]: I, all right, guys, let's, we walk in the club.
27:21
[SPEAKER_03]: They taught me the keys.
27:22
[SPEAKER_03]: I see you.
27:25
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm not going to say that, but I will.
27:27
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
27:28
[SPEAKER_03]: Hey, man, how do we get here?
27:30
[SPEAKER_03]: That's my, I'll get here.
27:32
[SPEAKER_03]: What's going on?
27:34
[SPEAKER_03]: But it is what it is.
27:37
[SPEAKER_03]: So pay attention to that.
27:40
[SPEAKER_03]: What role does your son play in this group?
27:43
[SPEAKER_03]: Is he a follower?
27:44
[SPEAKER_03]: Is he a, uh, is he a leader?
27:49
[SPEAKER_03]: is he the jump starter that way as he missed the pop-off yes and they are looking at him like oh come on don't get him started don't get him started this who you are you need to know that about your your child and you won't learn that at home in a controlled environment is just you and it's just them nothing's going on to bring that out of them and parents got to be a
28:16
[SPEAKER_02]: got to be a little bit more receptive to finding out who they child really is.
28:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, yes, not my old because my child would never.
28:24
[SPEAKER_02]: My child would never is, is the typical response to tell your child, dear, until you find out and you've got to go live the longer you go, like you said, not wanting to be out and observe not wanting to know a thing about them, doesn't mean that the thing ain't on them, but in it at all, definitely
28:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, I read.
28:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Read the woman relationships, man.
28:49
[SPEAKER_02]: But that's well.
28:50
[SPEAKER_03]: It's gonna say dating.
28:51
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes, because don't be, listen, hey.
28:58
[SPEAKER_03]: There's two ends of this picture.
29:00
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
29:01
[SPEAKER_03]: And let's talk to our son about both.
29:03
[SPEAKER_03]: Our son's about both about son.
29:05
[SPEAKER_03]: Don't be the guy that thank everyone in the room once you.
29:08
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
29:08
[SPEAKER_03]: That's not a real thing.
29:10
[SPEAKER_03]: You misread the wrong.
29:11
[SPEAKER_03]: You misread the rules.
29:13
[SPEAKER_03]: And also don't discount yourself.
29:16
[SPEAKER_03]: Don't be so.
29:18
[SPEAKER_03]: humble to where you humble pie yourself into the corner.
29:23
[SPEAKER_03]: And now you lonely and second guessing yourself in your self esteem low.
29:28
[SPEAKER_03]: Reach a children, read your sons, read your daughters, sometimes they need to be turned down, sometimes they need to be turned up and sometimes they just find.
29:37
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, let them roll.
29:38
[SPEAKER_03]: Parents read the room about the personality,
29:44
[SPEAKER_03]: your your your your child's true personality.
29:46
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
29:46
[SPEAKER_03]: You've seen instances.
29:48
[SPEAKER_03]: Something go wrong if they take the tablet and they smash it across the table.
29:53
[SPEAKER_03]: You've got something on your hands.
29:55
[SPEAKER_03]: Right.
29:55
[SPEAKER_03]: You might want to intervene a little bit with that.
29:57
[SPEAKER_03]: It's you know, they probably want to look at you because that came from somewhere.
30:00
[SPEAKER_03]: It came from somewhere equally in the opposite direction.
30:05
[SPEAKER_03]: things go wrong and nothing seems to face this person.
30:09
[SPEAKER_03]: Are you emotionally detached from life?
30:12
[SPEAKER_03]: Because that's a thing.
30:13
[SPEAKER_03]: We need to be focused on.
30:15
[SPEAKER_03]: it's it's it's it's always the wheel is always turning yeah like you can never just sit back and and let your key is fall so far into autopilot that you feel like name my key is 17 he got it now yes we don't get to know he does not he money I'm get to it that's that's my focus now and and and my son home from school to the
30:47
[SPEAKER_03]: But I absolutely eagerly welcome the conversations.
30:52
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, I told you, had a real hard-to-hard conversation with my son, man, and it was my hard-to-reaction that it had on our relationship.
31:06
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, I think God for that conversation, man, and I'm happy.
31:10
[SPEAKER_03]: and I'm in a better place, and not that I was in a bad place with my son.
31:14
[SPEAKER_03]: It's a way, but you can always be better.
31:16
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
31:17
[SPEAKER_03]: And I'm absolutely in a better, even better relationship with my son right now.
31:22
[SPEAKER_03]: And don't ever be afraid to check in with your kids.
31:27
[SPEAKER_03]: And pay attention to a tone or the tone that you set for their level of comfort.
31:34
[SPEAKER_03]: How open does your children or do your children feel they can actually be with you?
31:40
[SPEAKER_03]: Like can I truly walk in the room and say a certain thing to my dad or my mom about what I got going on or an embarrassment I have and insecurity I may have.
31:54
[SPEAKER_03]: A failure.
31:56
[SPEAKER_03]: Am I comfortable enough to share a failure?
31:59
[SPEAKER_03]: A lot of people be like, oh, I mean, I can't feel right in front of my eyes.
32:03
[SPEAKER_03]: It's not what I'm talking about.
32:05
[SPEAKER_03]: If there's a level of a goal that they're not achieving or struggling with,
32:11
[SPEAKER_03]: Are they comfortable enough to come say to you?
32:13
[SPEAKER_03]: Right.
32:14
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm struggling with this thing.
32:16
[SPEAKER_03]: Or do they feel like it's going to be ridicule?
32:19
[SPEAKER_03]: Or they're going to feel like you're going to be angry with them or ashamed or embarrassed?
32:24
[SPEAKER_03]: Or are they carrying the load of, I don't want to let you down?
32:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Man, that, that's, that's, that is enough to drive a young person into depression.
32:37
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
32:38
[SPEAKER_03]: And you know the different avenues associated with depression.
32:41
[SPEAKER_03]: Absolutely.
32:43
[SPEAKER_03]: Something as simple as a conversation of checking in a diminished, less of me, more of you in front of them.
32:50
[SPEAKER_03]: You'll be surprised the results.
32:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and along that line, man, is not making it difficult for them to read you.
32:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, read your mood, read your tone, are you approachable now?
33:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, there's something to have in respect levels of respecting, you know, if a parent is engaged with something and now is not a good time, if it's not like how critical is it?
33:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I understand that, right?
33:22
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're working in, well, I don't know because even as I say it, man, it's, it's, uh, I guess the tone we have to be set in terms of, what is an emergency or what's critical or.
33:36
[SPEAKER_02]: how important is the thing, right?
33:37
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not that it's not important, but does it really demand a response right now?
33:43
[SPEAKER_02]: That's probably the whole other conversation, right?
33:45
[SPEAKER_02]: But just I had to catch myself, man.
33:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, and I shouldn't even take credit for it.
33:51
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, she back, yeah.
33:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, hey, we sometimes we don't know or we didn't know if it was a good time.
33:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, are you, it is never that once they approached me,
34:06
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know, look like you were kind of in the throws or some of you was in the middle of some more like I didn't want to be a bother.
34:13
[SPEAKER_02]: And again, it's it's there is a bit of reading the room to that where you don't make every trivial thing, something that you know as trivial, suggesting that to be the most important thing right now, but we're having and how do you encourage puts the wrong spin on having the confidence having the confidence
34:36
[SPEAKER_02]: at a moment's notice right that like that thing that thing that has to be taught by right now, I don't want them second guessing or trying to figure out if the thing that has to be just right now, they need to wait two hours until I stop doing the thing that I appear to be you know, so I'm gazed on.
34:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, what one thing that you kind of kind of jump off the, uh, the read the
35:07
[SPEAKER_02]: the getting to a yes, getting to what getting to a yes, right?
35:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Getting to a yes, right?
35:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Is she playing hard to get?
35:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Is she making it difficult?
35:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Is, is, are you being coached that this is just a process?
35:23
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, the first, no, is the first, you know, that kind of thing.
35:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Like that, um, that, that that that concerns me.
35:36
[SPEAKER_02]: if they're falling into, like, conquer culture.
35:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, like you got to, you got to the locker room talk.
35:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm not, I'm not making light of it or making right of it, right, right.
35:50
[SPEAKER_02]: But those conversations don't have, of course they don't happen when I'm right there.
35:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't, I wouldn't know about that, but think about to your experience in the locker room where it seems to be harmless or like a competitive spirit
36:06
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, it's costing somebody for you to win, right?
36:13
[SPEAKER_02]: No, it's no.
36:14
[SPEAKER_02]: No, it's no.
36:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I'm, I'm very clear on that.
36:19
[SPEAKER_01]: Reading, reading to understand what your type is.
36:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, who qualifies for your pursuit?
36:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what are the qualifications?
36:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Is it just because you look like that?
36:35
[SPEAKER_02]: I got to have it, like, what are the qualities in this person that suggests that you want to spend whatever amount of time?
36:43
[SPEAKER_02]: How ever far that goes, whether that's going to the movies, like, it's those things, like, are you, do you just want to be seen with this person?
36:53
[SPEAKER_03]: What is your purpose?
36:54
[SPEAKER_02]: It gives you a look.
36:55
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
36:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Or again, that like, like you, you feel, you feel obligated.
37:01
[SPEAKER_02]: to be seen with a person that presents a certain way.
37:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I'm, I'm dead.
37:07
[SPEAKER_02]: That's very front of my, for me, uh, with my old son specifically, because he, he can, like, he's, it'd be 19, a few weeks.
37:17
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I'm saying, yeah, I'm moving around.
37:19
[SPEAKER_02]: And I, I get it.
37:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I love that for, but I don't want, I don't want him to find him, I don't want him to come to the realization that he's in
37:31
[SPEAKER_02]: He wasn't persona was ready for, or this is not actually you wanting this.
37:38
[SPEAKER_02]: This is you trying to be.
37:41
[SPEAKER_03]: like gang gang in the byproduct that way because you you really raised a lot of valid valid concerns questions and points are the first being a yes can turn into a no the minute it yes turns to no it's no it's now no don't wait for the oh my boy
38:05
[SPEAKER_03]: No, it's no, it's no, it's not, it's not, it's not I'm laughing, but I'm serious very much because it's like Stop because I wanted to mean the same for my daughter.
38:18
[SPEAKER_03]: Please.
38:19
[SPEAKER_03]: Yes.
38:20
[SPEAKER_03]: No double standard there.
38:22
[SPEAKER_03]: Stop.
38:22
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
38:23
[SPEAKER_03]: No the other portion
38:27
[SPEAKER_03]: And in my opinion, this part is very valid and important because of the molding of who you're gonna be as a man and your future self.
38:38
[SPEAKER_03]: Like a lot of people they take lightly are once their children start dating.
38:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
38:43
[SPEAKER_03]: They don't have conversations like what you just said, oh, that shouldn't be dating any way.
38:47
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, what ain't doing that?
38:49
[SPEAKER_03]: Uh-huh.
38:50
[SPEAKER_03]: They ain't doing that.
38:51
[SPEAKER_03]: In front of you, you letting them go and lock off in rooms and block off and be in certain areas.
38:57
[SPEAKER_03]: And it's like, oh, I don't care.
38:59
[SPEAKER_03]: These kids, these days, pin and net, kids, these days, pin and net.
39:05
[SPEAKER_01]: If we're looking at, you're dating.
39:12
[SPEAKER_01]: What made you start dating?
39:14
[SPEAKER_03]: Like you just see it, what is it about this person?
39:17
[SPEAKER_03]: And everything don't have to be so serious all the time is what I'm always told.
39:24
[SPEAKER_03]: But if you're dating, are you a serial data?
39:29
[SPEAKER_03]: You dating for fun, for sport, for the look, for the attention.
39:35
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, I got tired of being in the locker room and being the only one saying I ain't ever been on the date.
39:41
[SPEAKER_03]: It's important to at least even if you don't ask your son or your daughter and expect a response.
39:50
[SPEAKER_03]: It could be rhetorical, but at least you plan it to see.
39:54
[SPEAKER_03]: Like, ask yourself, why are you out here dating and seeking these young ladies son?
39:59
[SPEAKER_03]: If you want to walk off after that, cause you're playing at that seat, if you want to sit on an action to have an engaging conversation, it's your call, it's not a manual.
40:09
[SPEAKER_03]: We've figured this out as we go.
40:12
[SPEAKER_03]: Right now, right.
40:14
[SPEAKER_03]: The pin in key it.
40:19
[SPEAKER_03]: I was talking to what we were yesterday and the older gentleman that I was talking to, I was like, man, these kids, these kids, these kids, they're 20, 19, 21.
40:36
[SPEAKER_03]: These really aren't kids anymore.
40:39
[SPEAKER_03]: We're so old and in our minds, we're like, man, these kids, man, this kid,
40:48
[SPEAKER_03]: And I ran into a young man at a picnic this past weekend.
40:53
[SPEAKER_03]: And the first thing he acknowledged was one of the conversations we had on the last episode about acknowledging these young men as young men, going into manhood.
41:04
[SPEAKER_03]: The more you discount this younger generation, because they're younger than you, as kids, this kid that you discard them, you get out of here.
41:17
[SPEAKER_03]: they're equally losing respect for you as well.
41:20
[SPEAKER_03]: So now, you're, whether you want to acknowledge it or not, you're daily, aging into the phase of, you need that generation.
41:30
[SPEAKER_03]: We're about to hand the keys over to that generation and took the keys.
41:35
[SPEAKER_03]: You better find a way to keep your finger on the post of that generation, connect, bond, communicate, you better lock in, read the room, elderly, people of a generation, lock in with these kids, because they're not kids, you still act like this at nine, 10-year-old child, he's 19, he's 20.
42:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't lie to yourself when they are still demonstrating kids like the hate, don't let that number confuse you as a parent because of the number itself or because where you were in life at that number.
42:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been guilty of that in the way of frustration because I wanted them to be a certain level of discipline or an attack mode or going after the thing, but my conditions were different and I created different conditions for them, so it was end up being frustrated with myself.
42:43
[SPEAKER_02]: So, with that, if they're not developing the area, just because they're 19, don't write it off as they're not a kid or they don't need any kind of kid-like instructions until they don't because you send them out there into a world where they might not be playing with kids.
43:00
[SPEAKER_03]: Correct.
43:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And some of them are going to play with them in a way they're not ready for
43:05
[SPEAKER_02]: young, young ladies and young men and it's going, it's going, it's going to take a world apart or send them down the spiral that's going to be hard to recover from.
43:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, you're not ready for that, not ready.
43:16
[SPEAKER_02]: You physically, you look the park.
43:19
[SPEAKER_02]: That's it.
43:20
[SPEAKER_02]: You absolutely not ready for that.
43:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm so glad my son comes to me with those kinds of questions, even though I probably mentioned on here, like sometimes they catch me all good and they're uncomfortable.
43:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
43:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And because they're uncomfortable, I don't dismiss it.
43:36
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just I got to I got to buckle up in the moment.
43:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I didn't expect that.
43:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Or maybe maybe I maybe as the realization, I should have already addressed it.
43:44
[SPEAKER_02]: But here we are.
43:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want to lose that because I don't even, I didn't take those things in my debt and it's not because he wasn't available.
43:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I assumed that there wasn't a connection there and I didn't, I didn't want that connection at the time.
44:02
[SPEAKER_02]: I went out and made a, I made the mistakes for a few generations for a few, I know I did.
44:15
[SPEAKER_02]: They're at a big age, especially if you know that you've slacked in some area, but that is valuable.
44:23
[SPEAKER_02]: You can't see what happens with it just out of embarrassment.
44:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I see that broom, but he probably won't.
44:33
[SPEAKER_03]: You trying to unpack overnight, right at 19, that 19, you cannot, because you're still responsible for one what you've created.
44:46
[SPEAKER_03]: 20, 60, that's your childhood.
44:50
[SPEAKER_03]: It's not as close to where if I'm here, you're forever my child, you're my dope child, you're my son.
44:57
[SPEAKER_03]: I know that's an oxymoron, but you know what I mean.
45:01
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't see.
45:01
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't see.
45:04
[SPEAKER_03]: I will never just abandon to the point where it's like I figured out, because, again, mell ego pride, it'll make you say things like, and mother's too good, oh, they don't mean them out.
45:15
[SPEAKER_03]: That'd be something.
45:16
[SPEAKER_03]: I wish I would tell an adult how to go out and get a job.
45:20
[SPEAKER_03]: You absolutely should.
45:22
[SPEAKER_03]: What are you talking about?
45:23
[SPEAKER_03]: I wish I would talk to an adult about how frequently they need to XYZ as it pertains to school or learning or hygiene or employment or feeling the blank.
45:36
[SPEAKER_03]: If you see they don't have it, they haven't grasped and mastered the skill.
45:44
[SPEAKER_03]: There's work to be done, especially if they didn't get it on your watch on your watch.
45:50
[SPEAKER_03]: Same on you and now you want to be with the you didn't catch that catch what you didn't throw it.
45:57
[SPEAKER_03]: You didn't lay it, read it, throw it, present it.
45:59
[SPEAKER_03]: It's not even in the building.
46:01
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
46:01
[SPEAKER_03]: And as a matter of fact, the more I look at you.
46:05
[SPEAKER_03]: You're exhibiting the very thing that you're criticizing me about.
46:10
[SPEAKER_03]: I've never seen you do the very thing that you're asking me to do.
46:16
[SPEAKER_03]: Not only have I not seen you do it, you don't know how to do it.
46:21
[SPEAKER_03]: You never play sports in your life and you are screaming at the top of your lungs about
46:27
[SPEAKER_03]: I didn't throw to the cutoff man in a baseball game.
46:29
[SPEAKER_03]: You never played baseball.
46:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Who are you talking to?
46:33
[SPEAKER_03]: That ain't a spiral son.
46:35
[SPEAKER_03]: Man, you can't throw a golf ball.
46:37
[SPEAKER_03]: Stop talking to me, bro.
46:39
[SPEAKER_03]: And that's the life we live with all of a sudden with these analytic experts.
46:46
[SPEAKER_03]: And we forget.
46:48
[SPEAKER_03]: You remember you at that phase?
46:50
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
46:51
[SPEAKER_03]: If I brought your parents and your peers in here right now, you're shut up talking to me.
46:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to ask my dad, I want to ask my dad, man, I'm a, I am going to ask there.
47:03
[SPEAKER_02]: He, he bought Duke.
47:04
[SPEAKER_02]: He's been about two, three years since he's gone.
47:07
[SPEAKER_02]: He, he bought Duke, but I'm going, I'm going, I'm going to close.
47:10
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to wind with this man with and reading the room in your house.
47:16
[SPEAKER_02]: What's the scariest thing for you right now?
47:18
[SPEAKER_02]: What's the what?
47:19
[SPEAKER_02]: What's the scariest?
47:23
[SPEAKER_02]: Say what?
47:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Say what?
47:26
[SPEAKER_02]: What?
47:28
[SPEAKER_02]: What's the scariest thing for you right now?
47:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Ahhhh.
47:39
[SPEAKER_01]: My fear is...
47:46
[SPEAKER_03]: my children, not engaging in life, enough.
47:53
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't want, and these are things that are out of my control.
47:59
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't want my children away to theirs.
48:02
[SPEAKER_03]: 50 years old, a start having children.
48:05
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't want my children to have children at 15.
48:08
[SPEAKER_03]: You know what I mean?
48:08
[SPEAKER_03]: So, you start thinking about things like, that's crazy because in parenting, I was talking to somebody about this, you're so busy worried about the next naturally occurring phase that you don't realize it's naturally gonna occur when it's going to occur.
48:24
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
48:25
[SPEAKER_03]: Man, why are you not walking yet?
48:26
[SPEAKER_03]: I gotta teach this kid how to walk.
48:29
[SPEAKER_03]: You serious?
48:31
[SPEAKER_03]: You don't teach your kids how to breathe.
48:32
[SPEAKER_03]: You don't teach your kids how to eat.
48:34
[SPEAKER_03]: You don't teach them how to walk.
48:36
[SPEAKER_03]: Those things, they, I'm ready and they just stand up and they take off.
48:40
[SPEAKER_03]: I promise.
48:40
[SPEAKER_03]: They start doing things.
48:42
[SPEAKER_03]: It's the same with life.
48:44
[SPEAKER_03]: So the fears or concerns I have, I'm focused on productivity and success.
48:54
[SPEAKER_03]: If you show me a glitch,
49:01
[SPEAKER_03]: that's a sentence or this is indefinitely who you're going to be.
49:05
[SPEAKER_03]: It's a glitch.
49:07
[SPEAKER_03]: Pivot.
49:09
[SPEAKER_03]: I have to practice pivoting with my children.
49:13
[SPEAKER_03]: Every age, every age, because when swimming lessons right now with the littles and brain by the take me out, I got Aquaman,
49:28
[SPEAKER_03]: which is Boston, Boston jumping flipping in the air trying to backstroke, breaststroke, flip, spin.
49:35
[SPEAKER_03]: Bishop wanna talk to the lady about the molecular make up of the water and the balance of the H2O, and for you and see, hey brother, get in the water, die, get in the water.
49:47
[SPEAKER_03]: So now he's in the water and he wants to talk to her about the absorption of water through his pores and into his skin.
49:54
[SPEAKER_03]: Hey man, I promise it's not the time brother.
49:57
[SPEAKER_02]: for squeal read the room room read the room read this my fear is pivot and meet them where they are yeah for me it's my children trying to manage their lives to the schedule of our lives of me and keys like the timeline of things
50:26
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
50:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Like you said, I know not be 50 get married, but not get married at 15.
50:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Not way to have the had children, but did you think that got a touch like.
50:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Got one is going to be in school forever, like.
50:42
[SPEAKER_02]: It's she concerned about it.
50:45
[SPEAKER_02]: She's going to miss that window of, you know, I'm saying, like his day, it's Donovan does he does he look at it like I looked at it where it wasn't.
50:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Nobody in my fans say, hey, you should be married by, but all of them were married by, right?
51:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Like the natural, is it like the environment that was created, right?
51:05
[SPEAKER_02]: And it doesn't mean that it was right or wrong, but, like, don't, don't try to force my timeline on your life, that's important, that's very important, don't try to force a man, uh, close the thoughts.
51:22
[SPEAKER_03]: Just time-stamping, reading the room.
51:27
[SPEAKER_03]: You know, I can find a way to tie that to Edward Cox.
51:31
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't know.
51:32
[SPEAKER_03]: That was the love, but I just want to be more aware of enjoying this phase of life.
51:44
[SPEAKER_03]: My mind is always 10 steps ahead of today and I want to pull it back.
51:51
[SPEAKER_03]: At least sporadically, at least, and look at today.
51:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
51:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
51:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh.
52:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Just stand grateful, man.
52:03
[SPEAKER_02]: We taught those lines of things to change.
52:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I miss their early, some things to change, man.
52:06
[SPEAKER_01]: And I, uh, I, I did not miss the, the, the moment thinking about the moments that weren't great.
52:21
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a real thing, thinking about them almost at all expecting that it's going, when is the bottom going for all out?
52:29
[SPEAKER_02]: The bottom for a lot, it must be something to base me that I need.
52:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm supposed to be down there.
52:34
[SPEAKER_02]: It must be something.
52:35
[SPEAKER_02]: It must be something to base me.
52:36
[SPEAKER_02]: We got the lead new foundation, man.
52:38
[SPEAKER_02]: But, uh, the episode 200 loaded, man.
52:41
[SPEAKER_02]: I think this is somewhere.
52:42
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't even know what number this is going to be because we already had that episode come out this week.
52:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's have that conversation now.
52:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, I'm shoot it, put it out, huh?
52:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Shoot it, put it out.
52:57
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I'm all right.
52:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Shoot it and put it out.
52:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Shoot it and put it out.
52:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, I think I have many times a week we can show up.
53:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna go every day.
53:05
[SPEAKER_02]: That's, that's, that's, let's get some to an extent.
53:07
[SPEAKER_02]: No, no, I'm available every day.
53:09
[SPEAKER_02]: That's get some work out, man.
53:10
[SPEAKER_02]: This is a, this is somewhere in the 1990s.
53:13
[SPEAKER_02]: One 92 is up at the time it's recording.
53:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Episode 200, we've been discussing how special that's gonna be.
53:18
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're got some thoughts, get in the comments.
53:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Let us know.
53:21
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're local, would you pull up to the lab?
53:23
[SPEAKER_02]: We know people, we tested the lab.
53:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Lives have been successful.
53:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, I thought about bringing the brothers that kind of, didn't necessarily launch the show, but it was a very pivotal moment for the show.
53:39
[SPEAKER_02]: back in 2022, we had the episode in identity.
53:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think it was like 2022 of us.
53:48
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you care, that's about there's a playlist for that.
53:51
[SPEAKER_02]: It's called Identity Series.
53:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's five parts.
53:54
[SPEAKER_02]: But that's not a promise what you think we should do.
53:58
[SPEAKER_02]: episode 200.
54:00
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're seeing this after episode 200, what do you think about what we did?
54:07
[SPEAKER_03]: I want to add a piece to that.
54:08
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
54:08
[SPEAKER_03]: We are located in DFW Dallas Fort Worth.
54:13
[SPEAKER_03]: Arlington Texas Man's Field Texas Plano Texas Friscoe Texas Dallas, you name it, H.E.B.
54:19
[SPEAKER_03]: Harsh, Uless Bedford, Fort Worth.
54:22
[SPEAKER_03]: You can't miss us.
54:23
[SPEAKER_03]: We are in the
54:25
[SPEAKER_03]: You threw me with that one.
54:26
[SPEAKER_03]: H&B, I'm thinking of stole.
54:27
[SPEAKER_03]: That would see.
54:28
[SPEAKER_03]: That's what we see.
54:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't know that.
54:30
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I didn't know that.
54:31
[SPEAKER_03]: What's brings me to my point?
54:33
[SPEAKER_03]: Oh, Lord.
54:33
[SPEAKER_03]: We are local to the DFW.
54:37
[SPEAKER_03]: If you have a function coming up, you got a, uh, uh, swore.
54:43
[SPEAKER_03]: And you want us to pull up the design, when you charge and you, we're interacting more, because lately, when we've been places,
54:53
[SPEAKER_03]: People are surprised that we're in the DFW, right?
54:56
[SPEAKER_03]: Say, just say, I'm outside a little bit.
55:00
[SPEAKER_03]: He been outside.
55:01
[SPEAKER_02]: He been outside.
55:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I was outside yesterday.
55:04
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's, I'm still for, I think I'm coming for June.
55:07
[SPEAKER_03]: No, no, no, he'll know.
55:09
[SPEAKER_03]: He's never outside.
55:11
[SPEAKER_03]: So I have a, and I'm going live tomorrow.
55:13
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm glad I said this.
55:14
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm going live on social media tomorrow.
55:17
[SPEAKER_03]: We have an active campaign that I personally am kicking off.
55:22
[SPEAKER_03]: We be in me just like we edit.
55:26
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm getting these on as I said, if you have a party coming up a concert or show or I don't care part is a comedy show part is kind of liberal so whatever you got the number of turn reach out.
55:39
[SPEAKER_03]: That's the number of time screen what it is not him because if he's screened, we won't be there.
55:45
[SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to screen what it is.
55:48
[SPEAKER_03]: marketing event interaction social interaction.
55:51
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't care what it is to an extent when I come into you jumping out the cake port.
55:58
[SPEAKER_03]: But let us know we pulling up invites me.
56:02
[SPEAKER_03]: J. E. Y.
56:03
[SPEAKER_03]: B. L. A. C. Instagram and that's it.
56:08
[SPEAKER_03]: I don't know.
56:08
[SPEAKER_03]: Take some TikTok too.
56:09
[SPEAKER_03]: I think.
56:10
[SPEAKER_03]: The dear son, the dear son, podcast, the dear son, network, D-Jones, you know all of the tags.
56:17
[SPEAKER_03]: All of our tags are in the bio.
56:20
[SPEAKER_03]: Reach out in box.
56:22
[SPEAKER_03]: Let us know what you have coming up.
56:24
[SPEAKER_03]: Hold summer, we outside.
56:26
[SPEAKER_03]: Everything between now and Labor Day.
56:31
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, now and Labor Day.
56:33
[SPEAKER_03]: Reach out, we pull it up.
56:35
[SPEAKER_03]: Dear son, pull it up.
56:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, uh, certain restrictions apply.
56:40
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what we'll do for this episode.
56:41
[SPEAKER_02]: We appreciate your guys.
56:42
[SPEAKER_02]: God bless your peace.
56:43
[SPEAKER_02]: Peace.
56:45
[SPEAKER_00]: We're outside.
56:48
[SPEAKER_00]: We're going outside.
56:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm fine with you.