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07 - Alice's Adventures in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll · Thrilling Adventures - Daily

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  Speaker 1: Chapter seven, A mad tea party. There was a table
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  Speaker 1: set out under a tree in front of the house,
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  Speaker 1: and the march Hare and the Hatter were having tea
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  Speaker 1: at it. A dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep,
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  Speaker 1: and the other two were using it as a cushion,
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  Speaker 1: resting their elbows on it and talking over its head.
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  Speaker 1: Very uncomfortable for the dormouse, thought Alice. Only as it's asleep,
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  Speaker 1: I suppose it doesn't mind. The table was a large one,
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  Speaker 1: but the three were all crowded together at one corner
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  Speaker 1: of it. No room, no room, they cried out when
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  Speaker 1: they saw Alice coming. There's plenty of room, said Alice indignantly,
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  Speaker 1: and she sat down in a large arm chair at
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  Speaker 1: one end of the table. Have some wine, the march
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  Speaker 1: Hare said, in an encouraging tone. Alice looked all round
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  Speaker 1: the table, but there was nothing but tea. I don't
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  Speaker 1: see any wine, she remarked. There isn't any, said the
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  Speaker 1: march Hare. Then it wasn't very civil of you to
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  Speaker 1: offer it, said Alice angrily. It wasn't very civil of
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  Speaker 1: you to sit down without being invited, said the march Hare.
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  Speaker 1: I didn't know it was your table, said Alice, it's
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  Speaker 1: laid for a great many more than three. Your hair
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  Speaker 1: wants cutting, said the hatter. He had been looking at
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  Speaker 1: Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was
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  Speaker 1: his first speech. You should learn not to make personal remarks,
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  Speaker 1: Alice said, with some severity. It's very rude. The hatter
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  Speaker 1: opened his eyes very wide on hearing this, but all
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  Speaker 1: he said was why is a raven like a writing desk? Come?
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  Speaker 1: We shall have some fun now, thought Alice. I'm glad
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  Speaker 1: they've begun asking riddle. I believe I can guess that,
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  Speaker 1: She added aloud. Do you mean that you think you
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  Speaker 1: can find out the answer to it, said the march Hare.
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  Speaker 1: Exactly so, said Alice. Then you should say what you mean.
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  Speaker 1: The march Hare went on, I do, Alice hastily replied,
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  Speaker 1: at least at least I mean what I say. That's
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  Speaker 1: the same thing you know, not the same thing a bit,
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  Speaker 1: said the hatter. You might just as well say that
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  Speaker 1: I see what I eat is the same thing as
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  Speaker 1: I eat what I see. You might just as well say,
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  Speaker 1: added the march Hare, that I like what I get
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  Speaker 1: is the same thing as I get what I like.
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  Speaker 1: You might just as well say, added the dormouse, who
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  Speaker 1: seemed to be talking in his sleep. That I breathe
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  Speaker 1: when I sleep is the same thing as I sleep.
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  Speaker 1: When I breathe, it is the same thing with you,
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  Speaker 1: said the hatter. And here the conversation dropped, and the
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  Speaker 1: party sat silent for a minute while Alice thought over
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  Speaker 1: all she could remember about ravens and writing desks, which
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  Speaker 1: wasn't much. The hatter was the first to break the silence.
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  Speaker 1: What day of the month is it? He said, turning
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  Speaker 1: to Alice. He had taken his watch out of his
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  Speaker 1: pocket and was looking at it uneasily, shaking it every
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  Speaker 1: now and then and holding it to his ear. Alice
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  Speaker 1: considered a little and then said the fourth two days wrong,
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  Speaker 1: sighed the hatter. I told you butter wouldn't suit the works,
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  Speaker 1: he added, looking angrily at the march hare. It was
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  Speaker 1: the best butter. The march hare meekly replied, yes, yes,
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  Speaker 1: but some crumbs must have got in as well. The
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  Speaker 1: hatter grumbled, you shouldn't have put it in with the
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  Speaker 1: bread knife. The march hare took the watch and looked
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  Speaker 1: at it gloomily. Then he dipped it into his cup
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  Speaker 1: of tea and looked at it again, but he could
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  Speaker 1: think of nothing better to say than his first remark.
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  Speaker 1: It was the best butter, you know. Alice had been
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  Speaker 1: looking over his shoulder with some curiosity. What a funny watch,
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  Speaker 1: she remarked. It tells the day of the month and
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  Speaker 1: doesn't tell what o'clock it is. Why should it, muttered
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  Speaker 1: the hatter. Does your watch tell you what year it is?
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  Speaker 1: Of course not, Alice replied very readily. But that's because
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  Speaker 1: it stays the same year for such a long time together,
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  Speaker 1: which is just the case with mine, said the hatter.
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  Speaker 1: Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The hatter's remark seemed to have
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  Speaker 1: no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was
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  Speaker 1: certainly English. I don't quite understand you, she said, as
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  Speaker 1: politely as she could. The dormouse is asleep again, said
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  Speaker 1: the hatter, and he poured a little hot tea upon
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  Speaker 1: its nose. The dormouse shook its head impatiently and said,
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  Speaker 1: without opening its eyes. Of course, of course, just what
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  Speaker 1: I was going to remark myself. Have you guessed the
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  Speaker 1: riddle yet, the hatter said, turning to Alice again, No,
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  Speaker 1: I give it up. Alice replied, what's the answer. I
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  Speaker 1: haven't the slightest idea, said the hatter, Nor I said
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  Speaker 1: the march Hare. Alice sighed wearily. I think you might
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  Speaker 1: do something better with the time, she said, van waste
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  Speaker 1: it in asking riddles that have no answers. If you
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  Speaker 1: knew time as well as I do, said the hatter,
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  Speaker 1: you wouldn't talk about wasting it. It's him. I don't
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  Speaker 1: know what you mean, said Alice. Of course you don't,
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  Speaker 1: the hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously. I dare say
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  Speaker 1: you never even spoke to time. Perhaps not, Alice cautiously replied,
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  Speaker 1: But I know I have to beat time when I
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  Speaker 1: learn music. Ah, that accounts for it, said the hatter.
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  Speaker 1: He won't stand beating now. If you only kept on
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  Speaker 1: good terms with him, he'd do almost anything you liked
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  Speaker 1: with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock
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  Speaker 1: in the morning, just time to begin lessons. You'd only
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  Speaker 1: have to whisper a hint to time, and round goes
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  Speaker 1: the clock in a twinkling half past one. Time for dinner.
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  Speaker 1: I only wish it was, the march Hare said to
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  Speaker 1: itself in a whisper. That would be grand, certainly, said
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  Speaker 1: Alice thoughtfully, But then I shouldn't be hungry for it,
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  Speaker 1: you know, not at first, perhaps, said the hatter. But
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  Speaker 1: you could keep it to half past one as long
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  Speaker 1: as you liked. Is that the way you manage? Alice asked.
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  Speaker 1: The hatter shook his head mournfully. Not I, he replied.
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  Speaker 1: We quarreled last March, just before he went mad, you know,
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  Speaker 1: pointing with his teaspoon. At the March hare. It was
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  Speaker 1: at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts,
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  Speaker 1: and I had to sing Twinkle Twinkle, little bat. How
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  Speaker 1: I wonder what you're at. You know the song? Perhaps
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  Speaker 1: I've heard something like it, said Alice. It goes on,
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  Speaker 1: you know, the hatter continued, in this way, up above
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  Speaker 1: the world, you fly like a tea tray in the sky.
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  Speaker 1: Twinkle twinkle. Here the dormouse shook itself and began singing
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  Speaker 1: in its sleep, Twinkle twinkle, twinkle twinkle, and went on
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  Speaker 1: so long that they had to pinch it to make
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  Speaker 1: it stop. Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse, said
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  Speaker 1: the hatter, when the Queen jumped up and bawled out.
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  Speaker 1: He's murdering the time off with his head, how dreadfully savage,
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  Speaker 1: exclaimed Alice, and ever since that. The hatter went on
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  Speaker 1: in a mournful tone. He won't do a thing I ask.
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  Speaker 1: It's always six o'clock. Now. A bright idea came into
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  Speaker 1: Alice's head. Is that the reason so many tea things
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  Speaker 1: are put out here? She asked? Yes, that's it, said
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  Speaker 1: the hatter with a sigh. It's always tea time, and
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  Speaker 1: we've no time to wash the things between whiles. Then
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  Speaker 1: you keep moving round, I suppose, said Alice. Exactly so,
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  Speaker 1: said the hatter, as the things get used up. But
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  Speaker 1: what happens when you come to the beginning again? Alice
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  Speaker 1: ventured to ask, suppose we change the subject. The march
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  Speaker 1: Hare interrupted, yawning, I'm getting tired of this. I vote
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  Speaker 1: the young lady tells us a story. I'm afraid I
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  Speaker 1: don't know one, said Alice, rather alarmed at the proposal.
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  Speaker 1: Then the dormouse shall They both cried, Wake up, dormouse,
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  Speaker 1: and they pinched it on both sides at once. The
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  Speaker 1: dormouse slowly opened his eyes. I wasn't asleep, he said,
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  Speaker 1: in a hoarse, feeble voice. I heard every word you
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  Speaker 1: fellows were saying. Tell us a story, said the march hare. Yes,
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  Speaker 1: please do pleaded Alice. And be quick about it, added
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  Speaker 1: the hatter, or you'll be asleep again before it's done.
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  Speaker 1: Once upon a time there were three little sisters. The
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  Speaker 1: dormouse began in a great hurry, and their names were Elsie, Lacy,
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  Speaker 1: and Tilly, and they lived at the bottom of a well.
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  Speaker 1: What did they live on, said Alice, who always took
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  Speaker 1: a great interest in questions of eating and drinking. They
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  Speaker 1: lived on treacle, said the dormouse. After thinking a minute
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  Speaker 1: or two. They couldn't have done that, you know, Alice
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  Speaker 1: gently remarked. They'd have been ill. So they were, said
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  Speaker 1: the dormouse, very ill. Alice tried to fancy to herself
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  Speaker 1: what such an extraordinary way of living would be like,
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  Speaker 1: but it puzzled her too much, so she went on,
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  Speaker 1: but why did they live at the bottom of a well?
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  Speaker 1: Take some more tea, the march hare said to Alice,
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  Speaker 1: very earnestly. I've had nothing yet. Alice replied in an
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  Speaker 1: offended tone, So I can't take more. You mean you
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  Speaker 1: can't take less, said the hatter. It's very easy to
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  Speaker 1: take more than nothing. Nobody asked your opinion, said Alice,
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  Speaker 1: who's making personal remarks now the hatter asked triumphantly. Alice
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  Speaker 1: did not quite know what to say to this, so
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  Speaker 1: she helped herself to some tea and bread and butter,
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  Speaker 1: and then turned to the dormouse and repeated her question,
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  Speaker 1: why did they live at the bottom of a well?
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  Speaker 1: The dormouse again took a minute or two think about it,
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  Speaker 1: and then said it was a treacle. Well, there's no
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  Speaker 1: such thing. Alice was beginning very angrily, but the hatter
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  Speaker 1: and the march hare went shh and the dormouse sulkily remarked,
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  Speaker 1: if you can't be civil, you'd better finish the story
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  Speaker 1: for yourself. No, please go on, Alice said, very humbly,
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  Speaker 1: I won't interrupt again. I dare say there may be
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  Speaker 1: one one indeed, said the dormouse indignantly. However, he consented
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  Speaker 1: to go on. And so these three little sisters they
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  Speaker 1: were learning to draw. You know what did they draw?
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  Speaker 1: Said Alice, quite forgetting her promise. Treacle, said the dormouse,
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  Speaker 1: without considering at all this time. I want a clean cup,
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  Speaker 1: interrupted the hatter. Let's all move one place on. He
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  Speaker 1: moved on as he spoke, and the dormouse followed him.
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  Speaker 1: The march hare moved into the dormouse's place, and Alice
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  Speaker 1: rather unwillingly took the place of the march hare. The
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  Speaker 1: hatter was the only one who got any advantage from
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  Speaker 1: the change, and Alice was a good deal worse off
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  Speaker 1: than before, as the march hare had just upset the
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  Speaker 1: milk jug into his plate. Alice did not wish to
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  Speaker 1: offend the dormouse again, so she began very cautiously. But
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  Speaker 1: I don't understand where did they draw the treacle from.
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  Speaker 1: You can draw water out of a water well, said
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  Speaker 1: the hatter, So I should think you could draw a
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  Speaker 1: treacle out of a treacle? Well, eh, stupid, But they
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  Speaker 1: were in the well, Alice said to the dormouse, not
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  Speaker 1: choosing to notice this last remark. Of course they were,
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  Speaker 1: said the dormouse. Well in this answer so confused poor
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  Speaker 1: Alice that she let the dormouse go on for some
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  Speaker 1: time without interrupting it. They were learning to draw. The
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  Speaker 1: dormouse went on, yawning and rubbing its eyes, for it
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  Speaker 1: was getting very sleepy, and they drew all manner of things.
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  Speaker 1: Everything that begins with an M. Why with an M,
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  Speaker 1: said Alice? Why not, said the march hare. Alice was
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  Speaker 1: silent The dormouse had closed its eyes by this time
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  Speaker 1: and was going off into a doze, but on being
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  Speaker 1: pinched by the hatter, it woke up again with a
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  Speaker 1: little shriek and went on that begins with an m
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  Speaker 1: such as mouse traps and the moon, and memory and muchness.
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  Speaker 1: You know, you say things are much of a muchness?
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  Speaker 1: Did you ever see such a thing as a drawing
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  Speaker 1: of a muchness? Really? Now you ask me, said Alice,
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  Speaker 1: very much confused. I don't think then you shouldn't talk,
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  Speaker 1: said the hatter. This piece of rudeness was more than
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  Speaker 1: Alice could bear. She got up in great disgust and
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  Speaker 1: walked off. The dormouse fell asleep instantly, and neither of
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  Speaker 1: the others took the least notice of her going, though
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  Speaker 1: she looked back once or twice, half hoping that they
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  Speaker 1: would call after her. The last time she saw them,
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  Speaker 1: they were trying to put the dormouse into the teapot.
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  Speaker 1: At any rate, I'll never go there again, said Alice,
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  Speaker 1: as she picked her way through the wood. It's the
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  Speaker 1: stupidest tea party I ever was at in all my life.
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  Speaker 1: Just as she said this, she noticed that one of
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  Speaker 1: the trees had a door leading right into it. That's
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  Speaker 1: very curious, she thought, But everything's curious to day. I
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  Speaker 1: think I may as well go in at once. And
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  Speaker 1: in she went once more. She found herself in the
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  Speaker 1: long hall and close to the little glass table. Now
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  Speaker 1: I'll manage better this time, she said to herself, and
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  Speaker 1: began by taking the little golden key and unlocking the
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  Speaker 1: door that led into the garden. Then she went to
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  Speaker 1: work nibbling at the mushroom. She had kept a piece
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  Speaker 1: of it in her pocket till she was about a
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  Speaker 1: foot high. Then she walked down the little passage, and
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  Speaker 1: then she found herself at last in the beautiful garden,
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  Speaker 1: among the bright flower beds and the cool fountains. End
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  Speaker 1: of chapter seven