Latest / Mommywood / Real Talk from an Emmy-Nominated CD, Josh Einsohn

Transcript

Real Talk from an Emmy-Nominated CD, Josh Einsohn · Mommywood

• 0:00
  Mom, welcome to Mommy Wood, the podcast where motherhood meets
• 0:06
  Hollywood. Real moms, real talk, no
• 0:09
  scripts. I'm your host, Emily Bolt, and
• 0:12
  we are talking about the messy, funny and unfiltered side of
• 0:16
  being a mom in the entertainment industry.
• 0:19
  Today's guest is someone who truly understands the industry
• 0:22
  from the inside out, someone who sees actors at their most
• 0:26
  vulnerable for a living and then goes home and parents a human
• 0:30
  solo. Josh Einson is a highly
• 0:33
  respected casting director whose work spans beyond.
• 0:38
  I am sure you've watched multiple shows that he has
• 0:41
  worked on, and he has a reputation for having an
• 0:46
  incredible eye for talent, a deep understanding for story,
• 0:49
  and creating rooms that feel human and grounded and actor
• 0:54
  friendly. But Josh isn't just shaping
• 0:56
  careers. He's also navigating one of the
• 0:58
  hardest and most important roles there is, which is being a
• 1:02
  single dad. And today we're talking about
• 1:05
  what happens when those two worlds collide, how becoming a
• 1:09
  parent changes the way you see actors, how casting changes the
• 1:13
  way you parent, and the very real logistics of balancing
• 1:17
  Hollywood deadlines with school pickups and bedtime routines and
• 1:21
  just staying present in general. This conversation is about being
• 1:26
  misunderstood. It's about showing up when
• 1:29
  you're stretched thin. It's about what it actually
• 1:32
  looks like to build a meaningful career while raising a child,
• 1:35
  especially in an industry that doesn't always make space for
• 1:39
  parents. It's honest, it's insightful,
• 1:42
  funny, and deeply relatable. I am so excited and so honored
• 1:49
  and grateful that Josh took the time to chat with me and was so
• 1:57
  open to having this conversation.
• 1:59
  I know you're going to love this episode and hopefully enjoy it
• 2:03
  as much as I did. And please enjoy this episode of
• 2:08
  Mommy Would with Josh Einson. Josh, thanks for being here.
• 2:14
  Thanks for being a part of Mommy Would.
• 2:16
  I'm so yeah, now you are. You're single dad.
• 2:23
  Yes. I am I am a single parent and
• 2:29
  your daughter my sorry. Go ahead.
• 2:31
  And your daughter is how old? She's two years old, just over.
• 2:37
  Dad, that's such a good age. I love that age.
• 2:41
  It is. I'm really, although it's funny,
• 2:43
  like you asked me to do this. I'm like, I don't know, like I'm
• 2:46
  sort of like a freshman in College of parenting at this
• 2:49
  point. I feel like I need to come back
• 2:51
  in like 5 or 10 years and be like, oh, now yeah, I have
• 2:55
  stories. I mean, I feel like we're all
• 2:57
  new parents at each age, right? Because there's like different
• 3:02
  crazy stuff at each age. But I get what you're Yeah,
• 3:05
  yeah. This is I didn't listen to the
• 3:09
  to the that was us podcast and it's fun because Sterling has to
• 3:15
  it's the This Is Us, you know, re watch podcast.
• 3:20
  Sterling's got I think like 10:14 or 11:15 something like
• 3:24
  that. So older kids and then Mandy and
• 3:27
  Chris Sullivan, Mandy more Chris Sullivan have young kids like I
• 3:31
  do. So like listening to all of
• 3:33
  them. I've been taking a lot of, it's
• 3:35
  been a very, it was supposed to be a rewatch podcast and it's
• 3:38
  been very educational for me in terms of listening to how they
• 3:41
  are dealing with being in the industry and being a parent and
• 3:45
  just what parenting young kids would like.
• 3:47
  And one of the things I think Chris Sullivan said was you're
• 3:49
  always mourning the child that you that isn't anymore while
• 3:55
  you're falling in love with this new creature who is in front of
• 3:59
  you. And it feels like that a lot
• 4:02
  like I miss, I never thought I would miss the little baby thing
• 4:05
  because I was not a baby person before having him.
• 4:08
  Hey, baby. But I really, I miss that.
• 4:12
  But then she's really talking more and more and being so
• 4:17
  expressive and interested in things.
• 4:19
  So it's really fun to get to enjoy this kid and knowing that
• 4:24
  that will turn into something else and then I'll miss this
• 4:26
  one. Yeah, yeah, it is.
• 4:28
  It's a weird thing because especially like, I don't know if
• 4:33
  you're planning on another one or not.
• 4:35
  And we, I, I don't think we are. So there's also that like, oh, I
• 4:40
  might not have it again. And it all seems like from baby,
• 4:46
  you know, when they're babies, it all goes so slow and fast
• 4:50
  that you're like, oh wait, that did happen.
• 4:53
  Oh, wait, remember the sleepless nights, remember all these, all
• 4:57
  these things. And it's kind of becomes a blur,
• 5:01
  I feel like. But I.
• 5:03
  Took a lot of pictures because I knew it would be a blur and I
• 5:06
  would be tired and not remember the stuff.
• 5:09
  But like I it was just fast. Like it wasn't slow at all for
• 5:14
  like everything. I'm like I didn't have a night
• 5:17
  nurse. I didn't, I mean, not like that
• 5:20
  was in the budget, but like, I didn't want to.
• 5:23
  Like, even if I had, like, I really valued getting up in the
• 5:29
  middle of the night and I was a zombie.
• 5:31
  And I'm grateful for my colleagues and my showrunners
• 5:36
  for being patient and lovely while I was.
• 5:42
  I thought I was more coherent than I was.
• 5:46
  I I recently apologized to Dan Fogel.
• 5:48
  And I'm like, I think I pushed you really hard to cast somebody
• 5:50
  that would have had a terrible idea.
• 5:52
  And he's like, I don't know if you're talking about, oh, wait.
• 5:55
  I'm like, yeah, sorry about that.
• 5:57
  I was real tired. He's like, yeah, I knew.
• 5:59
  Like things are not working well, it's OK.
• 6:02
  Yeah, it was, yeah. So I having working with a lot
• 6:09
  of parents who understood has been very, very helpful.
• 6:13
  Yeah. I've found that it's a little
• 6:17
  less, I can't think of the word maybe not isolating, but I feel
• 6:24
  like more people have kids that like you didn't think about
• 6:30
  where I'm like, oh, I'm going to be the only one.
• 6:33
  And then you're like, oh, wait, you have kids.
• 6:35
  Oh, wait, no, we can talk about this.
• 6:37
  And it's you're able to relate to people on another level too,
• 6:43
  if they're parents and being able to, you know, relate me on.
• 6:50
  So what was your journey becoming a parent?
• 6:54
  Did you always know that you wanted to be a parent thinking
• 6:56
  of not being a baby person? How did that?
• 7:00
  What was that journey like for you, figuring that out?
• 7:05
  I mean, I'd known since I I was a day camp counselor when I was
• 7:08
  16 and thought I was going to hate the kids and fell in love
• 7:11
  with them and got really. And then I taught preschool part
• 7:15
  time while I was in college and really like so.
• 7:18
  You've been, yeah. Yeah, like I really fell in love
• 7:22
  with kids and I really wanted to be a dad, but one of the
• 7:29
  struggles I had with coming out to myself even was like, oh,
• 7:34
  then I don't get to be a dad. So first I had to undo that
• 7:37
  inside myself. And then I was like, oh, I have
• 7:40
  to have a partner. I think you have to do it that
• 7:43
  way in order to have a child and not for lack of trying to get
• 7:48
  some guy pregnant. But it I I didn't and didn't end
• 7:55
  up with a partner. That lasted and and I'm lad
• 8:02
  because it wouldn't have worked and and it was weird because the
• 8:09
  pandemic was actually a great focusing time for me.
• 8:15
  I think a lot of people freaked out, but it was really good for
• 8:17
  me to have some quiet time. So the first thing I wanted was
• 8:22
  to buy a place to live and and had had a lucky streak of work
• 8:29
  and was able to. So that was.
• 8:34
  But I really like all the furniture I bought.
• 8:36
  I really thought I was gonna be like just a single guy
• 8:39
  entertaining and enjoying other people's kids.
• 8:41
  Sure. Yeah.
• 8:43
  And unfortunately I bought a lot of light colored furniture which
• 8:46
  I would not have done had I no not light colored expensive
• 8:49
  furniture which I'm like I really.
• 8:52
  Get a Get a good carpet cleaner. Get a good upholstery cleaner.
• 8:56
  Yeah, well, I usually like those sofas in the background, usually
• 8:59
  have sheets on them. I'm like, what?
• 9:01
  Whatever our great grandparents used to put plastic like that's.
• 9:04
  Oh yeah, we have blankets on the couches.
• 9:08
  I'm glad. Thank you for making me not feel
• 9:10
  alone. But I really like I thought that
• 9:13
  was it. And then there was something
• 9:14
  about being the process of like buying a home didn't freak me
• 9:21
  out and the pandemic didn't freak me out like overly, you
• 9:27
  know, more than I thought I would and I didn't.
• 9:32
  And there were just a lot of things that happened where I
• 9:34
  went, oh, I'm capable of hard things on my own and being fine
• 9:40
  and working where I work, having a support staff, which I didn't
• 9:45
  always before I started working at Telsey, it was just me and an
• 9:49
  assistant to me and an associate.
• 9:51
  So to have, you know, colleagues, which is rare and
• 9:58
  special, made me think, oh, I could actually do this and make
• 10:04
  it work. Plus working from home, which
• 10:06
  is, you know, most days of the week I'm able to do.
• 10:10
  So they're just a lot of things that came together like that.
• 10:12
  And I kind of went, OK, I feel like this is doable.
• 10:16
  I decided to adopt, I guess in 2022.
• 10:23
  I started telling people that I wanted to and started the
• 10:25
  process. I sort of pushed through it
• 10:30
  quickly, which was easy because when there's not two people to
• 10:33
  have to have come big deep conversations with and fill out
• 10:37
  paperwork, it was like, oh, I know what I want and what I'm
• 10:40
  capable of. So the the approval process
• 10:46
  happened pretty quickly and by the big like you.
• 10:48
  Say, that's pretty. That seems pretty fast.
• 10:52
  I mean, I know a lot about the process, but yeah, seems pretty.
• 10:56
  Good. It's I mean, it's invasive, but
• 10:59
  again, I just bought a home so I felt like I had just had a deep
• 11:03
  personal like exam of my innards from people I don't know.
• 11:09
  So this was another layer, but it was like just one more on top
• 11:13
  of what I've just been through and everybody is lovely and
• 11:16
  supportive and you know, excited for you.
• 11:20
  And like I said, I was able to just do, since it was just me, I
• 11:23
  could just do it. Scheduling was not hard.
• 11:26
  Making decisions was not hard like.
• 11:29
  So that went quickly. I got my profile up and ready by
• 11:34
  February when I was approved. And then they said it's going to
• 11:38
  be a 2 1/2 to three-year wait and 2023 as everybody in the
• 11:43
  industry knows where the strikes.
• 11:45
  So a lot of I, I know I am one of the busier casting directors
• 11:52
  right now. And we had a grim year like
• 11:55
  everybody else, projects that were supposed to go pre strike
• 12:00
  pushed. So it was real quiet.
• 12:06
  And one of the things that they tell you is like, listen, don't
• 12:10
  get a whole room ready. Don't buy all the stuff.
• 12:13
  It's going to be a 2 1/2 to three-year wait month to be the
• 12:15
  sad room that just sits there like so.
• 12:19
  All I did was make 2 registries, 1 to send out and one called.
• 12:23
  If the baby comes tomorrow, that is.
• 12:26
  So smart. I had heard a couple stories of
• 12:30
  that, so I thought, oh, on the off chance that I'm that guy.
• 12:34
  And then it happened. I got a phone call on a Friday
• 12:37
  saying that I matched. The baby was due in two weeks.
• 12:40
  It was a girl. I talked to the birth mom on
• 12:44
  Sunday and Molly decided to come on Monday instead of in two
• 12:49
  weeks so. She couldn't wait to meet you.
• 12:54
  That's sort of what we decided. Like, oh, there's somebody
• 12:57
  waiting and here I come and it. And it's just as that is her
• 13:02
  personality. It's very like I'm here and I'm
• 13:05
  ready. So I was in North Carolina the.
• 13:09
  Opposite. She was like, I was not ready.
• 13:11
  You tried to make me come a day early.
• 13:13
  How dare you? Are you?
• 13:15
  I'm not coming out. You have to force me out of
• 13:18
  here. And they did.
• 13:20
  Oh, no, this was quite the opposite.
• 13:22
  It was. Yeah, that's so unexpected
• 13:27
  anyway. And then I was in North Carolina
• 13:28
  as the strikes were coming, like looking like they were going to
• 13:31
  end. So literally like I'm having a
• 13:36
  zoom with Dan Fogelman because we're going to settle up on
• 13:41
  paradise and the casting execs at 20th and, or now Disney
• 13:47
  casting and the the zoom comes on and I'm holding this newborn
• 13:51
  and everybody's going and whose newborn are you holding?
• 13:57
  I'm like, oh, by the way, you know, we, we did that show.
• 13:59
  This is that's where we talked about adoption for six years.
• 14:03
  Remember that little bit? So we we went from unemployed
• 14:11
  for a year. I didn't get paternity leave
• 14:13
  because I had to work because I hadn't worked in so long.
• 14:15
  So I had a newborn, flew back to LA just as the strike was ending
• 14:19
  and all the shows that had were supposed to be spread over the
• 14:23
  year all started that week. So I truly was getting no sleep
• 14:29
  and couldn't say no because I like we needed, I needed to
• 14:34
  work. Yeah.
• 14:35
  So it was. And it was all fun stuff.
• 14:39
  Like there was nothing that I wanted to bow out of because it
• 14:41
  was people I loved working with on shows that I really loved.
• 14:45
  And I had this baby. So yeah, it's kind.
• 14:48
  Of like, I get, you know, enjoying your job definitely
• 14:52
  makes it a lot easier when you have to work.
• 14:55
  Yeah, for sure. But there was a lot of learning
• 14:58
  how to be a dad and how to be a dad in this industry while we
• 15:02
  were while I was doing it, Like there was no yeah.
• 15:05
  I. Didn't get to think about it.
• 15:07
  Yeah. Was there, what is what's like
• 15:11
  surprised you most so far? Like, is there anything that you
• 15:18
  like thought would be easy and has turned out to be hard, or
• 15:23
  vice versa? Or just what has surprised you
• 15:26
  most about it so far? It's actually, again, because I
• 15:31
  have an amazing support staff and team and colleagues who most
• 15:35
  of whom are parents or one of your parents.
• 15:36
  So they're all and they all think Molly's cute because she
• 15:39
  is, is very helpful. And it's been a lot easier than
• 15:44
  I thought. And I also was in an age where I
• 15:48
  was like, I don't have FOMO about going out and doing stuff
• 15:52
  anymore. So it's very easy for me to just
• 15:55
  like she's in daycare from 9:00 to 5:00.
• 15:58
  So I work from as soon as I get home or get to the office, pick
• 16:02
  her up. I'm dad from 5:00 to 7:30, she
• 16:05
  goes down, we have a routine, I eat dinner and then work.
• 16:10
  I don't get to watch much TV anymore.
• 16:13
  But, but and so all the work gets done and I have a team who
• 16:18
  understands that they're just a few hours where like you either
• 16:21
  got to ask me before or after unless it's urgent.
• 16:24
  And then, like, there have been plenty of days where I'm like,
• 16:27
  juggling a toddler and, you know, trying to negotiate a deal
• 16:30
  that suddenly works tomorrow or whatever.
• 16:32
  It happens. But generally speaking, people
• 16:37
  know that, like, that's dad time.
• 16:38
  Yeah. And and.
• 16:41
  Yeah, that's nice. I feel like people have a hard
• 16:45
  time remembering that. Like you can set those
• 16:48
  boundaries. So it's nice that like you work
• 16:50
  with people who understand and that like you, like you said,
• 16:56
  just being at that age, well, I feel like it's also better just
• 16:59
  like being a parent. Like I can't imagine being a
• 17:01
  parent at like in my 20s, like that would be insane.
• 17:04
  But like being able to be like, no, this is what I need to like
• 17:08
  I'm not going to be answering your e-mail or your texts at
• 17:12
  like, you know, 11:00 PM or whatever it is.
• 17:16
  And less like, you know, just setting those boundaries is it
• 17:22
  is smart so that. Actually, I had to reverse it
• 17:24
  and set boundaries for my staff with me because I am answering
• 17:28
  emails at 11:00. Like that's when I'm like,
• 17:31
  that's can be prime work time. So I'm like, guys, you don't
• 17:33
  have to, this is not a thing to do.
• 17:35
  You don't have a responsibility. You do it in the morning when
• 17:38
  I'm doing dad stuff or whatever, like it's fine.
• 17:41
  Like, like, this is just my time to do that.
• 17:43
  Please, you know, don't don't adjust you to my weird dad life.
• 17:49
  And there's a lot of stuff where it's just like, oh, I'm a single
• 17:52
  parent and it or an only parent. I like the phrase only parent.
• 17:55
  Single sort of implies there used to be another.
• 18:00
  And you just like, OK, there's no choice.
• 18:03
  It's just what it is to keep this human alive.
• 18:07
  And that's just what's happening and and being at an age where
• 18:13
  I'm OK with like where I'm patient with myself, which I
• 18:18
  would not have been any younger age, it helps.
• 18:21
  Yeah. What do you think?
• 18:23
  So Speaking of like the single dad, only dad, what do you think
• 18:30
  is like something that people maybe miss misunderstand about
• 18:37
  somebody who's an only parent and choosing to be an only
• 18:40
  parent? Because like you were saying
• 18:42
  with the adoption process, I feel like there's probably a lot
• 18:47
  a lot more pros than I feel like there's a lot a lot of pros to
• 18:51
  like, you don't have to check with somebody else.
• 18:54
  But but from your perspective, what do you think people might
• 19:00
  misunderstand about about that or like pros that you've found
• 19:05
  that people might be like, Oh, I didn't think about that.
• 19:09
  Well, one is, yeah, like I don't have to check with anybody about
• 19:11
  anything, which is like, my mom is an early childhood
• 19:17
  development expert. I used to teach.
• 19:19
  So I'd like, and my my sister has kids.
• 19:22
  So like I have enough experience at this point that I like to
• 19:25
  just make a decision based on my knowledge, knowing like I'm
• 19:28
  going to screw it up some. But like I'm I am somebody who
• 19:33
  like, what if they screwed it up?
• 19:35
  And then it would have been a thing.
• 19:37
  And I'm like, no, this is great. So that's been easy.
• 19:40
  And then the other thing that I think is sort of strange, and I
• 19:43
  think it's because I'm a guy, a lot of I think there is, I don't
• 19:48
  know what the way the sexism is going in this example, but I
• 19:51
  think that there is everybody's sort of shocked and surprised
• 19:55
  and amazed that like you can do that by yourself.
• 19:59
  And like plenty of, but I feel like if I was a woman, I don't
• 20:04
  know that I would have gotten that.
• 20:05
  And I don't know if that is judging me poorly or putting an
• 20:10
  expectation on women or like I haven't figured out what that is
• 20:13
  yet. But like, I do think that that
• 20:14
  is. Part of it, there are plenty of
• 20:19
  either single or only parents out there, and there are plenty
• 20:22
  of families where there are functionally only parents.
• 20:26
  Like, OK, there may be another person there, but especially in
• 20:29
  this industry, like, OK, somebody's gone for six months
• 20:33
  and only there on the weekends. Even if they have a fantastic
• 20:36
  relationship, the logistics may be OK.
• 20:40
  Yes, they fly back once a month for four days, but I am while my
• 20:45
  significant other's gone, I am taking care of this human.
• 20:49
  So it's it is less unusual than people I think think it is.
• 20:56
  Yeah, yeah. Is there something that you
• 21:01
  thought that you'd be like really great at as a dad and has
• 21:07
  been harder than you thought for me?
• 21:09
  I'll, I'll, I'll be. Vulnerable first.
• 21:12
  I thought because I nannied, I was like, oh, I got this and I'm
• 21:17
  super patient and I it is way harder to be super patient than
• 21:25
  I than I thought it was. So is there anything that you
• 21:28
  thought that you'd be great at that maybe is a little more
• 21:34
  challenging than you thought or vice versa that you thought
• 21:37
  would be hard, that's easier? The patients actually, yeah, I
• 21:42
  had like to back it up again, like into the the pandemic was
• 21:46
  very healing for me. It's going to be weird.
• 21:48
  Like that was not the case for most people.
• 21:50
  But the end of 2019, I was just in a bad mental health.
• 21:56
  Like I wasn't taking care of my mental health.
• 21:59
  I was too stressed. Nobody I think was enjoying
• 22:02
  working with me. Like I just was not pleasant.
• 22:06
  I had too much on my plate and wasn't managing myself or
• 22:08
  anybody else well. So I decided, OK, 2020 going to
• 22:13
  be the year of balance and it was.
• 22:18
  I should have been more specific about how I wanted that balance.
• 22:22
  So sorry, that was me. But I really did start taking
• 22:28
  care of my mental health and taking care of how how I react
• 22:32
  to things. And it's been another perk to
• 22:35
  working from home. Like there are times where
• 22:37
  someone will make me crazy and I can step away for a minute or
• 22:42
  now like, you know what, I need to fold Molly's clothes.
• 22:44
  I'll go take 10 minutes and do that and let this go and then I
• 22:48
  can come back like in a better headspace.
• 22:51
  Whereas before when we were like right on top of each other all
• 22:54
  the time having to deal with stuff on the phone's ringing in
• 22:56
  your go, go, go, go, go. I didn't have that out, so I
• 23:03
  thought I was going into this with a lot more patience.
• 23:06
  I usually surprise myself with how much patience I have.
• 23:09
  But yeah, there are days where I'm like, especially now that
• 23:13
  she's developed this personality, there are things
• 23:17
  that are funny. And I'm like, it's easy to be
• 23:20
  patient because like, you're throwing a little bit of a fit
• 23:23
  or like this morning she was absolutely throwing a tantrum
• 23:28
  about putting on this one sweater.
• 23:30
  It's because she wanted to wear her new pink vest.
• 23:31
  Well, obviously. And like, it did look really
• 23:35
  cute. Like she had a good taste, like,
• 23:37
  like the ensemble. Then I put on, I'm like, OK,
• 23:39
  actually good call. But but for a minute, I'm like,
• 23:44
  child in this cold out, you're going to put this sweater on.
• 23:47
  And then when I realized it was about the pink vest, it was
• 23:50
  amusing. But that is the hard part.
• 23:53
  And not have not being able to tag out, which again, honey of
• 23:56
  parents can't. But never being able to tag out
• 24:01
  I think has been the hardest part, especially when like stick
• 24:06
  or injured and still having to work and take care of a tiny
• 24:13
  human person. Like those are the times that I
• 24:16
  thought, I thought of everything but boy, when I'm sick and she's
• 24:20
  not and I still have to function.
• 24:24
  And it's hard to, of course, like, we'd rather be sick than
• 24:27
  them be sick. But then it's like, OK, but I'm
• 24:30
  the one who has to take care of you.
• 24:31
  So this is gonna work. Yeah, well.
• 24:34
  And we're doing the immunity Olympics, so it's also usually
• 24:36
  because she was just sick. So like, we just patched her
• 24:40
  back together and now it's my turn.
• 24:42
  And like, so it's ends up being like, a couple weeks of like,
• 24:45
  yeah, one or the other of us. Yeah.
• 24:48
  And it's awful. But like, both of us being sick
• 24:50
  at the same time is kind of like, OK, if we got to do it,
• 24:53
  like neither of us want to move, OK.
• 24:55
  Yeah, we'll just snuggle up on the couch.
• 24:58
  And especially with being at school and this time of year and
• 25:01
  it's like we're like in a daycare.
• 25:04
  It's like, yeah, everybody's passing around everything.
• 25:06
  We've started. May really enjoys giving us all
• 25:10
  our vitamin C things. She's really good at taking the
• 25:14
  medicine. And then she'll give it to the
• 25:16
  to me and my husband and we're like, great, let's do.
• 25:20
  It I actually missed like my first Emmy nomination was this
• 25:25
  year and the creative arts Emmy nights.
• 25:28
  That morning I woke up and I'm like, huh, I was staying in a
• 25:33
  hotel downtown and I'm like, what is this?
• 25:35
  Are there bed bugs? And I googled and I'm like no, I
• 25:39
  have hand, foot, mouth and. No.
• 25:44
  We're on a text chain. And Bernie was like, Josh, I
• 25:47
  think that's really contagious. Can you not sit with us?
• 25:51
  I'm like, yeah, so I literally went to the ceremony, sat in the
• 25:55
  back row by myself, getting sicker and sicker while I'm
• 25:59
  there. And like, left halfway through
• 26:02
  and I'm like, you've got to be killing me now.
• 26:06
  I wanted this for so long and it is such a privilege to be here
• 26:09
  and to leave. Oh, the timing, I mean, that's
• 26:14
  so exciting. And then it's like, of course,
• 26:17
  of course. It was very humbling.
• 26:18
  I was like, OK, whatever, Sort of like hubris I had in winning
• 26:21
  an Emmy nomination. And like, this is not an
• 26:23
  important thing really in your life.
• 26:25
  But that's very. Exciting.
• 26:27
  You should be very excited. I was, but it was a very brought
• 26:31
  me right back down to earth. Very crowd manager feel like OK
• 26:34
  what is important being a dad? Yes, as being a parent will
• 26:39
  always, something will always bring us back to Earth.
• 26:42
  Yeah. How do you handle now, then?
• 26:45
  So like since before the pandemic and all, and like, you
• 26:49
  know, stretching yourself too thin, How do you manage it now?
• 26:53
  If you feel like you're stretched too thin between
• 26:56
  parenting and working, what kind of like helps you get through?
• 27:02
  Because obviously there's going to be times when you're going to
• 27:05
  be stressful too thin or it's hard.
• 27:08
  How do you just like, even just like self-care through that?
• 27:15
  It's actually again, like one of the nice things about doing this
• 27:17
  a little older is knowing that the cycles go like that and
• 27:20
  knowing it won't last. Like that is really just, I've
• 27:25
  done it like even before I had a kid, I'm like back when we had
• 27:29
  like a regular pilot season, like it was just misery for
• 27:33
  everybody. And as much as I miss the income
• 27:38
  of a pilot season, the structure never did work.
• 27:42
  So like it and it wasn't creatively healthy for anybody.
• 27:46
  So I'm I'm but like even then I'm like, OK, this is only a few
• 27:51
  weeks and and it's parenthood is the same.
• 27:57
  It's like again, I was listening to that was us today and Mandy
• 28:01
  Moore was talking about how like you get set in your ways being
• 28:03
  like, oh, my kid is just going to sleep great forever now and
• 28:06
  then no or whatever. And I think that sort of, OK,
• 28:12
  I'm stretched too thin for a minute doing something I love
• 28:15
  and the privilege to get to do it is also something, it's
• 28:20
  weird. The the more successful I have
• 28:24
  been, the more I have become humbled in appreciating how rare
• 28:29
  that is and how lucky I am. So that is so present for me
• 28:36
  that I get to be a dad to a great kid, work on a career with
• 28:40
  people I really like working with, on shows I really like
• 28:44
  working on. And I'm like, everything I
• 28:46
  wanted is happening right now. So if it's a little bit where
• 28:48
  I'm tired, like, you know, figure it out, buddy.
• 28:53
  Yeah, well, you do on some great shows, so that must be very fun.
• 28:58
  Is there anything so now going more into like the the job part
• 29:05
  of it for you, is there anything like that?
• 29:09
  You wish that actors understood about the casting process that
• 29:13
  like you think would relieve their anxiety.
• 29:17
  Let's just say even for actor parents, maybe, I don't know for
• 29:21
  any actor, I guess, but but like that you're like, maybe I don't
• 29:28
  know that. Would make I don't know.
• 29:32
  Well, I don't know that I have anything new to say that hasn't
• 29:34
  been said, but it is truly like the the again, the longer I do
• 29:39
  this, the more I'm like the right person gets the job.
• 29:41
  And especially the longer I've done this, I'm pretty good at
• 29:46
  who I ask to audition. It is rare that I ask somebody
• 29:51
  to audition. I'm like, you were just wrong.
• 29:52
  And that was a waste of time because so obviously.
• 29:59
  Yeah, yeah. It's like part of the skill is
• 30:01
  not, is not just knowing who did a good job, but who can I set up
• 30:04
  to do a good job. So almost nobody does a bad job,
• 30:08
  which means nobody's wasted their time.
• 30:10
  But only one person gets the job and who ends up being right for
• 30:15
  the part. And I'm.
• 30:17
  And I'm also lucky to work with people who really do have great
• 30:20
  tastes. So we can present people who
• 30:23
  really are right for the part and then they they choose well.
• 30:29
  So it I, I, I could not do what actors do like it is.
• 30:34
  I would be too in my head all the time.
• 30:36
  I don't like the camera thing or scene my face like any of it.
• 30:43
  Yeah, I feel like that also helps.
• 30:45
  Like, I think, I think it's the same with age for anybody where,
• 30:52
  you know, like you were talking about you, like I have less of
• 30:55
  the FOMO and that type of stuff where I feel like as actors, the
• 30:59
  longer we stay in the industry, it's like casting directors can
• 31:03
  tell you that. And then it's only like the
• 31:05
  longer you stay in the industry, the longer you stay here, you're
• 31:08
  like, oh, it's not me. Well, hopefully it's not me.
• 31:14
  It's just not me for this. Like we can't.
• 31:17
  If you're taking it personally, you shouldn't.
• 31:20
  You're probably not going to be anyway if you're taking it too
• 31:22
  personally. It's actually like dealing with
• 31:27
  like as a parent who's starting with the child is starting to
• 31:30
  explore things. I because it's the flip side of
• 31:34
  it because now I'm struggling with like how much like do I let
• 31:37
  her fall or do I let her get hurt?
• 31:40
  Do I let her do this? Because the only way to learn is
• 31:42
  to experience that stuff. But you want to protect them.
• 31:46
  I'm not a helicopter parent. Like, that's for sure.
• 31:49
  But at the same time, like, like, so like, where do you draw
• 31:54
  those lines? But it's that same skill set,
• 31:58
  which then you have to bring to this industry.
• 32:00
  And again, you're not going to. It's easy for me to say it, and
• 32:03
  I know that. And that's why it sounds trite
• 32:05
  because most casting directors say some version of that.
• 32:08
  But it's true. And yes, absorbing it comes from
• 32:12
  experience. Yeah, yeah, that's so true about
• 32:16
  helicopter parenting. Like it's I'm definitely more of
• 32:22
  A and I mean, I'm not a helicopter parent either, but
• 32:25
  I'm more than I thought I would be because again, having nanny
• 32:30
  to where I'm like, oh, they're playing on the playground and
• 32:33
  they're fine. And like, I've never had anybody
• 32:35
  get hurt on my watch ever in my life.
• 32:39
  And my daughter, just when she right after she turned 2, she
• 32:44
  just went off the arm of the couch and broke her arm.
• 32:47
  And I'm like, it's, I'm literally right here.
• 32:49
  Like, how did that happen? And that didn't instill any fear
• 32:52
  in her. So it's not.
• 32:55
  So that's great. I mean, we love a fearless
• 32:58
  woman. So yeah.
• 33:01
  But yeah, it's hard to be like, do I catch you?
• 33:04
  Do I not? I mean, I didn't let her fall,
• 33:07
  obviously, but. Well, right.
• 33:08
  But I some of it comes from being like, sometimes I gotta be
• 33:13
  in the other room cooking and you're just gonna have to be on
• 33:14
  your own and and then we're crying.
• 33:17
  And with two parents, luckily in that case, we were actually both
• 33:22
  about 5 feet from her at the time we were looking elsewhere.
• 33:27
  So it was kind of nice because I'm like, OK, neither of us can
• 33:30
  blame each other because we were both.
• 33:34
  Both equidistant. Yeah, exactly of has there, has
• 33:39
  parenting made you more patient with actors or less patient with
• 33:46
  actors? I don't or with it, well, it's
• 33:51
  like I said, I think it's really like I was working so hard on
• 33:54
  becoming a patients person before.
• 33:56
  Yeah, that and I have been a patient person with actors for a
• 34:01
  long time. Like I know how miserable the
• 34:03
  process is and it's one of the reasons I was excited to work at
• 34:05
  Telsey because they are so actor friendly and the people who work
• 34:10
  there. Like we know that the process is
• 34:13
  hard and we would like to make it easier for you.
• 34:16
  So in that respect, I that's always been an easy thing to tap
• 34:21
  into. I will say, especially in a self
• 34:26
  tape world. And it just is, I'm not going to
• 34:29
  go down that rabbit hole. I don't know what to tell you.
• 34:31
  This is the world we're living in.
• 34:32
  So, OK, although as a side note, we do offer people live
• 34:38
  auditions. Very few people take us up on
• 34:40
  it. Interesting.
• 34:43
  Yeah, not for every role, but yeah, actually I think for every
• 34:47
  role, I think we have to. Very few people take us up on
• 34:51
  it. And I get it.
• 34:53
  I think self tapes are a useful tool in terms of yeah, you can
• 34:59
  do it whenever you want. You don't have to take 3 hours
• 35:02
  out of your day. Has there been an audition that
• 35:07
  you can share that like just seeing someone and you were
• 35:11
  like, this is the one like because they're up?
• 35:14
  Yeah, a lot like I've had. I I've been very fortunate,
• 35:19
  sure. Like sort of working backwards
• 35:22
  right now. Ella Beatty is filming Lizzie
• 35:25
  Borden in season 4 of Monster and her audition.
• 35:31
  Like I shared the story with so many my friends that like I
• 35:35
  should probably save it for Emmy season when she's nominated.
• 35:37
  And but like she it was self tapes coming in and we had seen
• 35:43
  like some of my favorite actors and they were fantastic.
• 35:46
  None quite felt like Lizzie, but I'm like, oh, we've got great
• 35:50
  people in the running, but like nobody did it in that way.
• 35:53
  Then I'm like, oh, we're done. And then Ella's who I knew the
• 35:57
  least. Excuse me, I came in and it was
• 36:01
  late on a Friday and I was the first to watch it and I was at
• 36:07
  home and I messaged everybody. I'm like, can y'all please watch
• 36:09
  this now? Because I think this was
• 36:10
  brilliant. And I don't know if it's just
• 36:12
  late on Friday and I need to go into the weekend with something
• 36:16
  optimistic or if it's really brilliant.
• 36:18
  And everybody was like, wow, send it to, you know, Ryan and
• 36:22
  his team. And then I went off to Netflix
• 36:24
  and like in a matter of hours, like she was approved.
• 36:28
  It was fantastic. Our boys, Cooper, Nicholas for
• 36:35
  the Menendez brothers being we, it was the first chemistry read
• 36:40
  in person that I'd had in years because it was post pandemic.
• 36:43
  It was the first time we were in a room with Ryan Murphy because
• 36:45
  we had been working with him on Zoom and they were electric.
• 36:51
  That was exciting. There been a lot.
• 36:54
  I've had a lot. It's it tends to be younger
• 36:57
  actors where there's no expectation.
• 37:02
  There's that extra excitement of wow, you'd like this is I'm
• 37:08
  watching something special happen and I can see your career
• 37:11
  rolling out. And I'm so proud of you at this
• 37:15
  audition knowing what is coming. And and that's it's it is cool
• 37:20
  to get to do that for someone. Yeah.
• 37:23
  Are there, there are a lot of differences between casting for
• 37:30
  actual, for actual kids and adults.
• 37:34
  How do you find how is that for you, especially now being a
• 37:38
  parent if you're auditioning kids?
• 37:41
  That was a So this was a lesson learned that like being on the
• 37:47
  side of parenthood. I'm going to ruin something in
• 37:50
  paradise Season 1. If you all haven't watched I
• 37:53
  mean you Patty. I'm like y'all Patty but but.
• 37:56
  Warning, warning. Yeah, but, you know, Skip.
• 38:00
  You didn't have watched it already.
• 38:01
  Yeah, exactly. Too bad.
• 38:03
  Like I hate spoilers, but like, I've given you you.
• 38:08
  Gotta like watch it all together.
• 38:11
  Right, yeah, Anyway, there was a scene where a child dies and we
• 38:16
  had sent out self tapes. It was just like a couple lines.
• 38:24
  So we just really great. Let's just have the parents put
• 38:26
  their kids on tape. And as I started watching them
• 38:30
  and this is when I was like a new parent getting no sleep and
• 38:34
  was really raw as like a human. So like 0 filter.
• 38:40
  We're having all these parents read with their children who are
• 38:43
  dying of cancer. And I'm like, oh God, we're
• 38:48
  horrible. Like, how dare we?
• 38:50
  Like, no, we should have had these in person, had the parents
• 38:52
  wait outside and like, and put ourselves through it, like
• 38:56
  because that's our job. And like, I messaged everybody
• 38:58
  the next day, I'm like, we're never doing this again.
• 39:00
  Like this was horrible of us. We need to be really aware when
• 39:04
  we audition kids. Like, I know the kid has to be
• 39:07
  able to act it, but like, that was not fair to those parents.
• 39:11
  And nobody said anything. Like, that's the amazing thing
• 39:13
  is nobody was like, hey, that's not cool.
• 39:18
  Yeah. So that was a real, that was a
• 39:20
  real lesson learned. Man Well then Speaking of it, do
• 39:24
  you think if Molly had any interest in acting, would you
• 39:30
  sway her one way or the other? You let the let the girl do what
• 39:36
  she wants or what do you think? How would you feel?
• 39:39
  She's got a lot of personality. So I was, I have a feeling like
• 39:45
  this is I, I mean, I think I would put like I have some, some
• 39:51
  friends who were actors when they were young and they're or,
• 39:55
  or some friends who have kids who are getting in the industry
• 39:58
  or whatever. I think I I like some of the
• 40:02
  sort of guardrails they put in place.
• 40:05
  In terms of how much time you can spend on it or in some cases
• 40:08
  like when like, OK, you can do this, but not until you're this
• 40:11
  old or whatever. And I think that then you sort
• 40:17
  of take that and apply it to each kid.
• 40:18
  So I'll have to see sort of who she grows into if she wants to
• 40:21
  pursue it. I mean I I would.
• 40:24
  Be such a great if she did want to like you would be such a
• 40:29
  great resource just there for her.
• 40:33
  I mean, who knows how much you would listen to your own?
• 40:36
  Porn. Yeah, no, exactly.
• 40:37
  It's like, well, I take to hear advice.
• 40:39
  I'm like, the only thing I know literally being your dad and
• 40:42
  this job, that's it. Oh yeah, yeah.
• 40:46
  So I, I, I won't encourage it, but I mean, I have a picture of
• 40:51
  her three months old on the Paramount lot.
• 40:53
  Like it's like the whole all like the fuss about nepo babies
• 40:58
  and I'm like. I mean, I wish I was one.
• 41:01
  Please. Like, come on.
• 41:03
  Yeah, I'm like, come on. But it's like they all have to
• 41:06
  prove themselves anyway. It's like I actually forgot that
• 41:10
  Ella was the daughter of Warren and Annette.
• 41:12
  I was like, oh, right. You're just really good.
• 41:16
  It's like they've opened the door, but like they still have
• 41:19
  to stay in the door. Or, you know, they still have
• 41:23
  to. Yeah, there's, yeah, there are
• 41:26
  requirements for being people wanting to watch you.
• 41:30
  Also, if you think about it where it's like so many parents,
• 41:33
  I feel like there was an interview, I don't know, but I'm
• 41:36
  going to butcher it. But it was like, you know, a lot
• 41:39
  of kids end up just doing things similar to their parents because
• 41:44
  you grow up around it. It's like if you're growing up
• 41:49
  on a lot, or if you're growing up knowing how cameras work and
• 41:54
  knowing how things, yeah, you're probably going to be also better
• 41:59
  at it than most people who haven't grown up with it.
• 42:03
  Like, I think that's pretty. I think it's anything like, it's
• 42:07
  like any industry, like you grow up with your dad's a doctor and
• 42:10
  either you think it's cool or you don't.
• 42:12
  And either like you follow in their footsteps or you don't
• 42:15
  like. So just the fact that this is a
• 42:17
  high profile industry and high profile people I find a little
• 42:23
  obnoxious. But yes.
• 42:27
  Like, will it be in her blood? Sure.
• 42:28
  Is she absolutely. Like one of my proud parent
• 42:32
  moments was the other day, I dressed her in this little
• 42:35
  outfit that reminded me of Xanadu.
• 42:36
  And I turned on the scene from Xanadu to show her just because
• 42:42
  she likes music. And without prompting she stood
• 42:45
  up and started dancing and wiggling and I'm like, I have
• 42:49
  done something right. But like you feel so totally
• 42:55
  will feather the hair. But like just that.
• 42:57
  She felt so free in herself already at 2:00 to which I know
• 43:01
  can come with the age, but like great, like you feel comfortable
• 43:07
  doing this. So it we went to a Halloween
• 43:12
  party that Chris Marshall, one of our our paradise actors
• 43:16
  through because she has a little boy about the same age and they
• 43:20
  were playing music and Molly got up there and just started
• 43:22
  dancing like with stank face and everything.
• 43:25
  She was in it and it and it made me happy that whatever sort of
• 43:29
  creative thing she has in her is is I am encouraging like by
• 43:36
  whatever we're doing. So yes, she may follow.
• 43:41
  I I would love her to find something steadier like this.
• 43:48
  Like I said, I know I'm in AI work regularly and this year was
• 43:53
  rough. Last year wasn't the year before
• 43:55
  that we were all dying. You know, so like, would it make
• 43:57
  me happy to find that she finds something where you actually
• 44:01
  just get paid regularly, you know, predictable amount of
• 44:05
  money? Yes, if if she wants to follow
• 44:09
  into this like I won't be able to say no.
• 44:14
  How do you manage just like the daily like like you said, things
• 44:21
  are slow or things are fast and like things can change quickly.
• 44:25
  How do you deal with like the unpredictability of both your
• 44:31
  your job and then being a dad? Do you have like babysitter on
• 44:37
  call? Because you're not, you're, you
• 44:39
  don't have family out here either, right?
• 44:42
  No, no, it's just me and I'm bad at building the village.
• 44:46
  Well, sorry, that sounded like that sounded bad.
• 44:49
  I'm not great at building the village and a lot of my friends
• 44:53
  who have kids, their kids are all older and I think they would
• 44:58
  love to help, but they're always running to volleyball practice
• 45:01
  or dance or whatever. So it it's, yeah, most of my
• 45:07
  friends already have older kids, which makes that challenging.
• 45:11
  So I'm slowly developing my group of friends who have
• 45:14
  younger kids where when they're a little older we'll be able to
• 45:16
  just watch each other's kids or whatever.
• 45:22
  Wait, I lost the thread. What was the?
• 45:24
  I was talking about like dealing with the unpredictability of
• 45:27
  like schedule changes or like if Molly's sick or like, do you
• 45:32
  just have like, like building the village?
• 45:35
  But do you have like, like babysitter on call or like, is
• 45:40
  it just that you, you know, the people you work with are
• 45:42
  understanding or just combo? I mean, she had, she goes to a
• 45:46
  home daycare instead of one of those school daycares and they
• 45:50
  really adore her. Like what?
• 45:53
  Like when I had to run out of town a couple times on business
• 45:55
  just for unavoidable trips, They watched her instead of a friend
• 46:02
  because she's there every day. She already has a place that she
• 46:05
  sleeps every day and like she, there's a lot of love there.
• 46:10
  So they're having them in her life, and my life is very
• 46:15
  special. And then, yeah, there are times
• 46:19
  where if she is sick and I'm having to work while she's home
• 46:22
  and sick, like the team just knows.
• 46:26
  Yeah. That I will, in addition to
• 46:28
  taking care of a sick kid in the day, I'm gonna be working all
• 46:30
  night to catch up. And so it'll just.
• 46:32
  I'll be waiting for you in the morning.
• 46:35
  And they're. And, you know, it's in
• 46:38
  retrospect, yes. I work with other people who are
• 46:41
  parents and they went through that and I didn't think about it
• 46:43
  at all at the time. Yeah, like you just, it is nice
• 46:47
  to just do that for each other. So I I am lucky that way and a
• 46:53
  lot, again, a lot of people in this industry aren't.
• 46:55
  I really have been in a place of fortune where things lined up
• 47:01
  that made this. I don't want to say easy sounds
• 47:05
  like a silly word when you've got a toddler, but like, you
• 47:08
  know, doable. There you go, doable.
• 47:15
  Has there been like is there has becoming apparent for you
• 47:21
  changed the way that you see? Has it changed the I can't word
• 47:29
  my sentence either now. Has it changed the way that you
• 47:32
  view or see how the industry puts expectations on parents in
• 47:38
  general? Or has it?
• 47:42
  I don't know if my sentence made any sense.
• 47:47
  Yeah, I mean, I don't, I don't know that it's necessarily the
• 47:50
  expectations it puts on parents. I just think that this is an
• 47:53
  industry that the expectations and demands are high and I
• 48:00
  don't, I've never people are like, oh, it needs to be this,
• 48:05
  it needs to be that. And I'm like, I don't know how
• 48:06
  you make ATV show or a movie if you do 8 hour days, Yeah, like
• 48:11
  never get made or whatever the solution is.
• 48:14
  I'm like, I don't know, Like we chose this industry knowing it's
• 48:19
  not easy. Like it's, it's it's just not.
• 48:25
  So like there's no part of it there.
• 48:27
  The unpredictability, the hours. So like right now things are
• 48:33
  like we're working on season 4 of monster, but it's really
• 48:37
  slow. I have had A to do list since
• 48:39
  Molly was born and I'm like, great.
• 48:42
  I and these are like life things that need to be done and I have
• 48:45
  not had time to tackle them. And I'm like great while I have
• 48:48
  a minute of quiet. What can I knock off A to do
• 48:52
  list? So it's been a lot of, I mean,
• 48:56
  there has not been any self-care, but like just having
• 48:58
  those things off of my shoulders like a little at a time, which
• 49:04
  is what everybody does in this business.
• 49:06
  It's like, yeah, you work and it's insane.
• 49:09
  And then you can take a breath and like, great, let's handle
• 49:13
  everything else. Like balance in this industry is
• 49:16
  hard. It just is.
• 49:18
  Yeah. Well, like you said, you we've
• 49:22
  chosen, we've chosen this career and like, it's not easy, but it
• 49:28
  is doable. If you want it, if you want to
• 49:31
  do it, it's doable, but it's not easy, that's for sure.
• 49:35
  Yeah, OK. I'm ready for some rapid fire.
• 49:40
  Not my strong point. I will need to think about them
• 49:42
  and get back to your rapid fire questions.
• 49:44
  I'll e-mail them to you if you get free some of our we'll we'll
• 49:52
  see if you know. How about coffee order?
• 49:58
  I make it myself everyday. An iced vanilla latte with
• 50:02
  almond milk. Morning person or night person?
• 50:06
  Definitely a night person and thankfully so is my child.
• 50:09
  That works out. It it getting her down can be
• 50:13
  challenging. But yeah, no, I really was like,
• 50:17
  OK, she can be a morning person. You're going to have to adjust
• 50:20
  to this. And I really made myself not
• 50:22
  shape that. But no, we would both sleep in.
• 50:27
  I had to wake her up this morning to go to daycare.
• 50:32
  OK, what what do you think is an audition cliche that you that
• 50:37
  you could retire forever? OK.
• 50:41
  You're going to have to cut out the part where I think about it
• 50:43
  for a second. All good.
• 50:48
  Oh. Yeah, that's a hard one.
• 50:51
  An audition cliche, you mean? What do you mean?
• 50:55
  Like something that somebody does that like I feel is just
• 50:59
  like, I never didn't see this again.
• 51:01
  Yeah, like the bold choice or like yeah, I.
• 51:05
  Don't. Know.
• 51:07
  Well, that yes, I am not a fan of making a bold choice to make
• 51:12
  a bold choice, which a lot of acting coaches seem to say.
• 51:16
  And I'm like, no, no, no, like grounded in something in the
• 51:20
  scene, anything in the scene and there we go.
• 51:24
  That is like the the preparedness like it.
• 51:26
  I know we talk about it, but like actors like to just read
• 51:30
  the words and they will forget to do things like read the slug
• 51:34
  one. Just if you just know the room
• 51:36
  or space this is taking place in, it will change your delivery
• 51:40
  and how you carry yourself and whatever.
• 51:44
  Like, you know, upscale restaurant versus a McDonald's.
• 51:47
  Like like the little stuff like that, like just just just do
• 51:52
  that and then make a bold choice based on that.
• 51:55
  Yeah. Not based on like, I think my
• 51:57
  mother abused me when I was a child.
• 51:59
  I'm like, no, no, your line is, do you want water with that?
• 52:02
  Don't randomly just yell the line because it's yeah yeah.
• 52:08
  Or putting like all like of your Shakespearean training into your
• 52:13
  I'm like, that's I know, I know you want to.
• 52:15
  I get why you want to. That's not what this is.
• 52:18
  Yeah, but what's, what's the best kids snack that you would
• 52:25
  like to steal, that you like to steal for yourself?
• 52:29
  Oh, the Graham crackers. Boy, I like hadn't had those in
• 52:32
  decades. Yeah, I like the.
• 52:35
  Honey Teddy Grahams, those are good.
• 52:37
  I actually made myself not get that honey Teddy Grahams anymore
• 52:41
  because she won't eat them. And so I was eating them.
• 52:44
  I kept getting them being like, oh, I'm sure she'll like them
• 52:46
  this time. And like, no, I was just eating
• 52:48
  them. Like I'm not just buying them
• 52:50
  for myself at this point. See there's some like Elmo
• 52:54
  honey, something that like little rectangle shaped
• 52:59
  something. Those are good and she eats
• 53:01
  those. So I feel like I can justify
• 53:03
  purchasing. What do you think is the worst
• 53:06
  place for a kid to have a meltdown if it's already
• 53:10
  happened? Or where would it be?
• 53:12
  I'm dreading the flight. She has not had it.
• 53:20
  She's usually a really good flyer.
• 53:22
  She's never been on a plane as a toddler so that I think I don't
• 53:30
  know the enclosed space is the thing that like worries me.
• 53:33
  But she's so social that usually my problem with her is not a
• 53:37
  meltdown but that like like the last time we were on a plane,
• 53:42
  like I couldn't get it all still because there were all these
• 53:44
  people looking at her that she wanted to say hi to and blow
• 53:46
  kisses. It was adorable, but like after
• 53:48
  an hour my neighbors were no longer interested.
• 53:51
  Like putting in the headphones, they're like OK.
• 53:54
  I'm like, I'm sorry, Susan is really sweet.
• 53:58
  Well, I'll. Just send you some of my like my
• 54:01
  plane airplane helpers. I mean, May is a good flyer too,
• 54:06
  but we get those activities. I mean, at the end of the day,
• 54:09
  it's really like a an iPad because she's not, she never
• 54:12
  gets an iPad. So I feel like the plane she's
• 54:15
  like, this is so exciting. We actually like she does get
• 54:19
  some screen time because it's she's started reading like just
• 54:22
  from the games that she's playing.
• 54:23
  And I'm like, all right, like screen time is growing your
• 54:27
  brain. You may have it.
• 54:29
  OK, I'm going to turn it back on you though.
• 54:30
  What's your first worst meltdown location?
• 54:35
  Because I want to prep myself. I'm trying to think of where.
• 54:42
  I mean, I want the audience to prep themselves.
• 54:47
  I mean, I feel like, well, now I feel like I'm going to be like
• 54:52
  my daughter doesn't have meltdowns.
• 54:55
  So I would say when she's when she's yelling like at the
• 55:02
  library is what is never a good place just because I'm like, I
• 55:08
  don't like make her beat super quiet in the library in the kids
• 55:12
  part because you know, it's but it's when she's like running or
• 55:15
  yelling in the library because she really likes to go up and
• 55:19
  down the aisles because she thinks it's funny.
• 55:22
  But then when I can't get her and I'm like, Oh my God, people.
• 55:26
  OK, OK, this is actually supposed to be.
• 55:30
  A quiet place, Yeah, she's not. Super fun but.
• 55:34
  Molly does know how it's funny after our two year check up,
• 55:38
  like now whenever like she's doing the doctor thing with me,
• 55:41
  like and she puts the little stethoscope, she goes quiet,
• 55:44
  quiet because she's listening, like excuse me.
• 55:48
  So she does get the quiet concept, but we haven't been to
• 55:51
  a library yet because when she gets excited she squeals and
• 55:55
  it's like so charming, but really loud.
• 55:58
  So yeah, big. They're just.
• 56:01
  So excited. I know, and I don't want to
• 56:04
  discourage that. So like I've been, I've avoided
• 56:07
  some of the places where I'm like, oh, I think this is I
• 56:09
  would have to and I don't want to.
• 56:12
  Yeah, what actor would you cast in your life story?
• 56:20
  I, I don't, I no, I wait somebody.
• 56:27
  No, I'm not going to remember in time.
• 56:30
  OK, never mind. You're just gonna have to cut
• 56:32
  this part out. I don't remember.
• 56:33
  I, I don't cuz like I, I do not enjoy being in front of the
• 56:37
  camera. So like I really.
• 56:39
  Like no life story about me. Chad yes, like a book, you can
• 56:43
  read the book. Here we go.
• 56:45
  But no, no biopic. There we go, that's all right.
• 56:50
  What is your biggest ick in a self tape that you watch?
• 56:56
  The biggest ick? Well, I think the biggest ick is
• 57:01
  when somebody decides to, well, this can cut both ways, but when
• 57:08
  people decide to go out into the real world and really film the
• 57:13
  thing wherever it's supposed to take place or whatever.
• 57:17
  That said, I've actually hired a couple people who did those and
• 57:20
  they were pretty brilliant. And I'm like, all right, I know.
• 57:25
  Good at it though. Yeah, but like you do you have
• 57:28
  to be able to look at it objectively and be like, oh, you
• 57:30
  know what, that sucks. I should just go home and like
• 57:33
  do it again in front of my, you know, pretty wall and and not do
• 57:37
  that. I so that is because literally
• 57:42
  there was a guy once who like was supposed to be an Uber
• 57:44
  driver or a Lyft driver or whatever cleared with, you know,
• 57:49
  standards and practices and literally was filming themselves
• 57:53
  in the car and it was like a two line scene.
• 57:56
  I had to watch for 2 minutes and the whole time they were not
• 57:59
  paying enough attention to driving.
• 58:02
  Oh, while they were actually driving.
• 58:04
  This is what I'm saying. And I'm like stuff like that.
• 58:08
  And there's a lot of shocking amount of real world self tapes
• 58:13
  like that that come in and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no,
• 58:15
  no. Why did you do that or why you
• 58:18
  did this in a way that people are looking at you and it's I'm
• 58:21
  looking at the people looking at you.
• 58:22
  Like stuff like that. Like, and anything that is going
• 58:25
  to distract from us looking at your face is a bad idea.
• 58:30
  How's that? Yeah, check.
• 58:33
  Got it. Yeah.
• 58:34
  Yeah, you should be the shiniest thing on the screen.
• 58:38
  What is the text you send most often?
• 58:40
  Your emoji? Your most used emoji?
• 58:46
  These tastes it's the shrug. Often it is the face palm.
• 58:55
  Yeah, I think those are on my both on my recents.
• 58:58
  Yeah, the. Yes, when, when Molly was first
• 59:01
  born, it was a lot of like the baby chick in the egg.
• 59:05
  That was a lot of that for a very long time.
• 59:08
  But I think we're back to the shrug thing, which is a little
• 59:11
  bit of me like releasing, having to know all the answers all the
• 59:15
  time, which I'm proud of myself for doing.
• 59:18
  I have reached an age of wisdom where I know what I don't know.
• 59:22
  And people ask me something and I'm like, shrug emoji.
• 59:25
  Yeah. But what is your favorite thing
• 59:29
  about being a dad right now? That's so hard, I'm sorry.
• 59:35
  That's it. Well, it's just like in these
• 59:37
  last few weeks, more and more and more words.
• 59:40
  And for a long time like I knew where words were coming from,
• 59:45
  and now I don't anymore. And suddenly like, you're just
• 59:49
  saying things like, I'm sure I'd use the word train, but we've
• 59:55
  watched cars 3000 Times Now and when the train is coming and it
• 1:00:00
  looks like it's going to hit like me McQueen and Oh my God,
• 1:00:02
  and it's coming. And she started yelling train,
• 1:00:04
  Oh, no, no, oh, train, uh oh, train.
• 1:00:07
  And I'm like, where did you get the word train?
• 1:00:10
  Like because I didn't set that up for her.
• 1:00:16
  So stuff like that. Or like I was in her rocking
• 1:00:18
  chair or our chair that we sit in.
• 1:00:20
  And I was just sitting still and all of a sudden she goes rock
• 1:00:23
  and I'm like, Oh yes, ma'am. So like I'm sure I've said the
• 1:00:28
  word before, but like not enough to know that she knew how to
• 1:00:32
  make a command out of it. So like right now it is the her
• 1:00:38
  her facility with words. It's just neat to have that
• 1:00:43
  coming and keeps. Getting better, It's so funny.
• 1:00:49
  Yeah, and May's not that much older than her.
• 1:00:50
  So like, you've just went through this not too long ago.
• 1:00:53
  Now we've started, she's started.
• 1:00:56
  I'm like, OK, I'm gonna go use the bathroom or I'm gonna go
• 1:01:00
  grab my coffee or whatever. And she goes, OK, have a good
• 1:01:02
  time with that. Yeah, these things.
• 1:01:09
  And she likes to say, I need a minute.
• 1:01:12
  We get all of that. I'm like, good for you, Yeah.
• 1:01:16
  That's OK. No in your space OK by the way,
• 1:01:20
  can. I see that.
• 1:01:21
  I guess so. 10 here. I had a a thank goodness moment,
• 1:01:30
  but like I was in the car and I honked the horn and from the
• 1:01:33
  back seat I heard go go go and I was like, oh, I'm so happy.
• 1:01:39
  That's all I was saying. Like, I didn't know you were
• 1:01:41
  like, this is a few months ago. So like, I didn't know you were
• 1:01:44
  listening and repeating things yet.
• 1:01:48
  So I'm glad that that is all that was said, Yeah.
• 1:01:50
  You used to notice things that you say often and you're like,
• 1:01:54
  oh, I guess I do say that a lot. Yes, that was that was the flip
• 1:01:59
  switching of like, oh, it's time to be careful.
• 1:02:01
  Oh yeah, them as backseat drivers is no joke because
• 1:02:05
  she'll be like green means go and her like and she's still
• 1:02:09
  rear facing so she doesn't see. I'm.
• 1:02:12
  Like I can't drive. And she's like, why aren't you
• 1:02:15
  moving? And I'm like, because it's a red
• 1:02:18
  light. And she's like, drive and I'm
• 1:02:21
  like, you're going to get us hurt.
• 1:02:23
  I was like, you don't know what you're talking about, but yeah.
• 1:02:29
  So funny. Molly's initials, by the way,
• 1:02:31
  are Mae Mae, Yes, started. Spelling so she's Marion after
• 1:02:37
  my grandma, so she's Marion, but but she started spelling her
• 1:02:43
  name, which is cute too, but Mae, yes, we love it.
• 1:02:48
  Well, I know you said you're not watching a lot of shows now, but
• 1:02:51
  what's your like? Go to comfort, show that you
• 1:02:53
  like, can put on and watch. Oh, go to comfort show is I will
• 1:03:00
  pull up something from the Star Wars universe like that's why
• 1:03:03
  I'm here. I'm one of those I'm one of the
• 1:03:06
  many Star Wars people and now that it's all just on Disney
• 1:03:08
  plus, I will pull that up. The oddly, the comfort movie,
• 1:03:13
  which isn't very comforting is interstellar.
• 1:03:19
  There's something about like visually it's stunning.
• 1:03:22
  I love sci-fi. I love that it's epic.
• 1:03:24
  I love how like vast the universe and like all the things
• 1:03:30
  that like I wish that we were in a time where we were exploring
• 1:03:34
  and it kind of hits the emotional buttons too.
• 1:03:37
  So those are some of my comfort go TOS.
• 1:03:42
  But really like when I've had time lately, yeah, I've been
• 1:03:44
  watching our you know, like, like monsters or whatever, like
• 1:03:50
  that we worked on that that my colleagues are working on.
• 1:03:52
  So like, all's fair, you know, just came on and like camping.
• 1:03:57
  Fabulous. Talk about an escape.
• 1:04:00
  So good, they're so again, all, they're all so bingeable.
• 1:04:04
  Or you're just like, OK, I need to go to sleep though actually
• 1:04:07
  so. Oh, I, I worked with Deborah
• 1:04:11
  Kahn, who created The Diplomat when I was a baby associate on
• 1:04:14
  The West Wing. So I made myself not watch all
• 1:04:19
  of the episodes on one night. I'm like, I made myself like
• 1:04:22
  absorb. I miss that about TVI love.
• 1:04:26
  I prefer working in TV. Like I love TV and movies, but
• 1:04:30
  like the episodic nature. But I miss we had it with This
• 1:04:36
  Is Us, like where we would do something big and then you have
• 1:04:38
  to go sit with it for a week, like sit in that feeling for a
• 1:04:42
  minute and and before we resolve it or move forward or whatever.
• 1:04:46
  And I I miss that part of TV. So I have tried actually not to
• 1:04:52
  binge stuff. Like if I do have time, I try to
• 1:04:54
  get 3 shows and rotate and give myself AI watch more that way.
• 1:05:00
  And BII think that when people were making the show, they were
• 1:05:05
  intending for you to have a feeling and have to deal with
• 1:05:09
  it. So I yeah, I try to do that.
• 1:05:16
  If you weren't in casting, what do you think you would be doing?
• 1:05:20
  A preschool teacher, actually, that's not true.
• 1:05:26
  I would have burned down on preschool teaching like 20 years
• 1:05:28
  ago. But there's only so much
• 1:05:30
  macaroni art you can do. You know, I came to, I'd been
• 1:05:36
  working in production and I came to a juncture in my life where
• 1:05:38
  I'm like, I can't do this forever.
• 1:05:39
  What do I want? And it was either casting or
• 1:05:43
  editing and post production. Both, I feel, have huge impacts
• 1:05:49
  on the storytelling from very, very different angles.
• 1:05:53
  Obviously 1 is in the beginning and one is at the end, so that I
• 1:05:58
  probably would have learned how to do all that because I think
• 1:06:01
  that is a fascinating part of what we do as well.
• 1:06:05
  Like I never have the time, but I love the few times I've been
• 1:06:08
  able to just go sit and post and watch them work.
• 1:06:11
  Oh yeah, I thought that would be fascinating.
• 1:06:14
  Yeah, it is. And score and color correct and
• 1:06:16
  like all that. Like it is just so fascinating
• 1:06:19
  to me how you make all those pieces come together at the end.
• 1:06:23
  Yeah, no. And and working for.
• 1:06:27
  I've never really talked to Ryan Murphy about it, but Dan
• 1:06:29
  Fogelman likes to talk and. And the people that work with
• 1:06:32
  him like to talk about pacing and the music.
• 1:06:34
  And I'm always talking about the music of a performance.
• 1:06:38
  And so to see how they take the actors music and put it into the
• 1:06:40
  bigger and to to hear how he talks about that, it would be so
• 1:06:47
  cool to get to spend to get to do that.
• 1:06:49
  So that's what I would be doing. OK, last one.
• 1:06:54
  What advice would you give to a newer parent, to a new parent or
• 1:07:06
  something that you wish or advice that you had gotten?
• 1:07:12
  Well, I do think like, and everybody has their own thing.
• 1:07:16
  I am really glad, like I said, that I did not have a night
• 1:07:20
  nurse that I just powered through because it goes quick.
• 1:07:26
  Like you're going to be tired. Like it just doesn't last that
• 1:07:29
  long. Like I know it may feel like an
• 1:07:31
  interminity, like when your body is like just laying down, but
• 1:07:39
  and the whole like sleep, when they sleep thing, I'm like,
• 1:07:41
  you're cute. I got like this is when I got to
• 1:07:43
  work and do dishes and laundry and all the other stuff.
• 1:07:47
  That's sweet. So I was that is a sweet piece
• 1:07:50
  of advice from somebody who hasn't been a parent recently.
• 1:07:52
  But like to me it is like just give in to the fatigue and enjoy
• 1:07:56
  it because I feel like Molly and I really bonded.
• 1:07:59
  I loved it. I, I thought it was really
• 1:08:02
  special and sweet to get to spend the time snuggling and
• 1:08:07
  having her have a bottle and passed out on me.
• 1:08:10
  So it, it, it, I know everybody says it goes so fast.
• 1:08:16
  I don't think I appreciate it really.
• 1:08:19
  But like, because I was so hyper aware of it, it made me really
• 1:08:26
  treasure it. Like it was not a surprise to
• 1:08:29
  me. So it was very easy to just stop
• 1:08:33
  for a minute and and feel the daddiness.
• 1:08:39
  And when you're when you're adopt, you're also, it looks
• 1:08:41
  like so much of A it is so very much a choice that like like you
• 1:08:48
  have to really want to do this. So the idea that like you would
• 1:08:52
  really want to do this and then try to rush through it or or
• 1:08:56
  pass it off to somebody. I'm like, no, no, no, this is
• 1:08:59
  like I this is, this is the thing I wanted.
• 1:09:02
  And yeah, so just, but just be tired.
• 1:09:08
  It's OK. It does not last forever.
• 1:09:10
  One day it's. Yeah, it's just just enjoy it.
• 1:09:17
  Yeah. Like we have a hard industry.
• 1:09:20
  Like if you are lucky enough to be a parent in this industry,
• 1:09:25
  just treasure it and deal with the fatigue.
• 1:09:27
  And if you're an actor, somebody will take care of those eye bags
• 1:09:29
  people for that. Exactly.
• 1:09:35
  You're like, Oh my gosh, well, this has been such a joy.
• 1:09:38
  Sorry I kept you a little over. I can we, you know, talk about
• 1:09:42
  parenting. Just keep going.
• 1:09:44
  I know I love it. I really do like well and I I
• 1:09:47
  also like I was just talking to Chris Marshall earlier today
• 1:09:51
  about like podcasting and stuff and I said I really like the
• 1:09:56
  teaching part. I really missed that part of my
• 1:09:59
  life, and I feel like this is a way to sort of share and give
• 1:10:04
  back a little bit. So I think it's cool that you're
• 1:10:06
  doing this. I think it's cool hearing the
• 1:10:08
  other people in the industry who shared some of their stories.
• 1:10:13
  And yeah, so thanks for the time.
• 1:10:17
  I hope this is enjoyable for people to listen to.
• 1:10:19
  That is the one thing I'm like, I don't know why anybody wants
• 1:10:21
  to listen to my stories about my child other than like she's the
• 1:10:24
  most interesting child, obviously.
• 1:10:27
  But yeah, so thank you for this and thanks for doing it.
• 1:10:32
  Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Mommy Wood.
• 1:10:36
  Now, before you go, if Mommy Wood feels like a place you
• 1:10:39
  belong, I want to invite you to join the Village, which is our
• 1:10:43
  Mommy Wood Patreon community. For just $5 a month, you have
• 1:10:47
  bonus episodes, expert guests, deeper conversations and
• 1:10:51
  content, and series I don't share anywhere else.
• 1:10:54
  It's the best way to support the show and help keep Mommy Wood
• 1:10:57
  going. Mommy Wood only exists because
• 1:11:00
  of this community, so if this show has ever made you feel
• 1:11:03
  seen, supported, or less alone, I'd love for you to join The
• 1:11:07
  Village on Patreon. The link to the Patreon is in
• 1:11:11
  the show notes. I want to give a huge thank you
• 1:11:14
  to my producer and good friend Cecilia for making Mommy Wood
• 1:11:18
  what it is and to Edith Mudge for the Mommy Wood theme music.
• 1:11:23
  As always, thank you for being a part of Mommy Wood.
• 1:11:27
  Please come be a part of the village as well.
• 1:11:29
  I hope to see you there. I need you to wait with what?