Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / THE DISCLAIMER: Favourites Friday!

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THE DISCLAIMER: Favourites Friday! · The Hauraki Big Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: For all you mad bastards loving the big show podcast
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: get up even closer on instagram youtube and tiktok.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Or raw doggies four to seven every weekday on radio
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: the entire half an hour that you were at sky
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: city trying to get.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: Out you were eating hawaiian pizza and i was at.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: The pub Oh, right. Drinking beers. Oh, you were at
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: the pub, too.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Did you see those people behind me making out?
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: Quite a... Oh, yes, I did.
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: That was really ironic.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Full on, eh? That was early doors relationship stuff right there.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: Totally, man. You mean the pashing?
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. That stuff goes. We decided it was an affair, though.
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: Fuck yeah.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Just as we decided, we were like, this is an affair. Mike,
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: you messaged me being like, that's an affair.
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Like straight away. And then I was like, should I
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: take it down? And I was like, nah, if you're
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: pashing in the middle of a bar like that.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: You're all good.
• 0:49
  Speaker 5: That was weird because I thought it was a cafe.
• 0:51
  Speaker 5: And I thought, God, who pashes in a cafe? I
• 0:53
  Speaker 5: can understand a bar a little bit more.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's weird. I think the thing that made you
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: think it was an affair was the age of the
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: people involved.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: No, and the fact that they tried to look like
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: they left separately and then linked up again just down
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: the street.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, did they?
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: It was very suspect.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: But they were hooking up like that for like 10
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: minutes straight.
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: It was bizarre.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: I thought they were wasted.
• 1:14
  Speaker 5: Maybe it's an office thing and they just have a,
• 1:16
  Speaker 5: you know, there's a buildup of sexual tension and they.
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: Go to a bar.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Sort of like you and I in Taranaki.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just a big gushing release. And then they
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: go back.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Do you remember those days, mate?
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: You don't get that anymore, eh?
• 1:31
  Speaker 5: No.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: What? I mean, I don't miss it.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Bullshit. That's bullshit.
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: Oh, look.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: You do miss it, but you wouldn't swap it. Yeah.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: Well, look, passion in my relationship, more than adequate.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely. It's a pity that you can't have it all, though,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: isn't it? Oh, yeah, I mean, sure. There must be
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: a drug for that, Keezy. You must know, you filthy
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: piece of shit. Are you happy with that?
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: I don't even know what you're asking.
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: What's the drug?
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: There must be some kind of a drug for the root.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: To stop it. No, not to stop it. No, to
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: spark it, mate. That's called old age. Oh, to get
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: you fired up.
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: I've already got that. Yeah.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: I've got plenty of that. Because I was saying that
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: it used to be back in the day it was
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: half a Viagra and half an Eki.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: Right. Well, I've never done the Eki. No, I've never
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: done that combo. Nor the Viagra, actually, to be honest.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Neither have I. But I thought it would be good
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: for a little bit of a go. What do you reckon, Keezy?
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: You or me?
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Mano a mano?
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: You want to have a hoon on this piece of
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: shit right here? All right, if you're up for it, man, absolutely,
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: let's go.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Oh, Mogi's back.
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: You guys, I'd still be in there. How does your steamer, Mogi?
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I take a while when I do peas. Well, actually, Jase,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I didn't have a great time in there.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: Oh, you didn't?
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: And I've got you to thank. You've got me to thank.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: Oh, God.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: I went into that toilet, Jase.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: Oh, why are you sending that fucking photo through?
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: Are you fucking kidding me? I can see the preview.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: That is disgusting. And my fucking iPhone. Did you do that?
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I'm not sending that message. Is that yours?
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: Let's have a look. Is that your poos?
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Look at the time it was sent. It's not possible
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: that it was mine. I'm not even opening that.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: My bowl was clean. What the fuck is wrong with you?
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: He is a sick son of a bitch.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: I can't believe you took a photo of that.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: Did you flush it? When somebody commits a crime like that,
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: it's not mine. I'm not flushing it. Jase can go
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: back there.
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: Oh!
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Just so you know, I've deleted it for me out
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: of the group. I don't need that in my phone.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: That is fucking horrific. That does look like a hot
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: pot steamer.
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: It's not. My bowl was immaculate.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Can I say it's got Hoity J written all over it?
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: The old Hoity J calling card.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: Come on, man.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: What good stuff, guys.
• 3:49
  Speaker 5: I was going to get some brekkie on the way home,
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: and that's just totally fucked up for me now.
• 3:52
  Speaker 4: Truth be told, I went into the disabled toilet, and
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: that was what was there.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: It's shocking, isn't it?
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: It's disgusting. Thanks for sharing. Cool.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: Just confirming, tomorrow for the potty and next week, you
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: guys aren't going to take a shit in the middle
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: of it, are you?
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: We'll see how we go.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: We're just working out our timing, man. It's our first
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: time having to do this.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: And as I say, actually, this is, oh, no, it's
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: a bit later than normal.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: I thought it was like 6 a.m.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: Or something.
• 4:22
  Speaker 5: Yeah, usually I have my coffee and then do-do's.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: To do's and walk away, no flush. No flush. My
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: wife will flush that. Take a photo, send it to the.
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: Disgusting. It is amazing.
• 4:37
  Speaker 5: It is amazing what people leave behind, eh? Seriously, though,
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: there's many times I've just gone, what the fuck? The
• 4:45
  Speaker 5: Hauraki Big Show, weekdays from 4 on Radio Hauraki.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: Now that's good listening. And it's live.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: What are you listening to there?
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: Oh, me? Oh, sorry.
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: I was listening to the Radio Hauraki Big Show.
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: Four to seven weekdays.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's quite specific.
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: And I heart radio. What, oh? Cheers.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: The Hauraki Big Show.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: Weekdays from four on Radio Hauraki. I, um.
• 5:19
  Speaker 5: Just became aware of how many faces Keezy pulls behind
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: your back when you do stuff.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: Right. Heaps, man. He's quite disrespectful. I think you'd be
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: horrified if you actually.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: I'm disrespectful.
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: If you knew the faces he pulled when you're doing
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: stuff behind your back, it's disgraceful. If you're going to
• 5:38
  Speaker 5: do that, Keezy, have the courage to at least do
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: it to his face.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Missed that one as well. I mean.
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: I try not to let it affect me. Obviously, it's hurtful. Totally, mate.
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: Given everything that I've done for him.
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Because when you think about it, he owes us everything.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: Pretty much, man. Pretty much. I wouldn't disagree with that.
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: All of it.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So, you know, put it this way. He'll get his.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: I was just going to say, Mike, actually. Yeah.
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: Mate.
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: Just a click of the fingers, she's all over Rovers
• 6:20
  Speaker 5: McKenzie if we choose for that to happen.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: He's on his arse.
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right.
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: His rather plump, hairy arse, might I add, having seen
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: it nude.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Have I got a fat arse?
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: Yes. You've got a massive arse.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: I know it's hairy, but I didn't realise it was
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: a peach.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: Have you got a hairy arse, by the way?
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: Me?
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: No. Neither. I've got a beautiful.
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: My ass, as I've said many times, was my best
• 6:40
  Speaker 5: feature for so long.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: It's not anymore.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: It's because you've got that dump truck.
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: Have you got a massive sort of row of hair
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: up and down your crack?
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: No.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you do.
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: No, I don't.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: Everyone does.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: No, I don't. Did you get a wax? No.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: I thought that I didn't, and I got a geez
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: at mine. Jesus.
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah. No, I don't. I don't have any hair. Yes,
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: you do. I don't have any hair.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: All right. I've been around that area.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: There you go.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: Filthy, disgusting, why don't you use toilet paper? That is disgusting.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Are you serious, Jase?
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: A few dags in there, was there?
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Not a few, mate. There's a fucking hedgehog in there, mate.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: My God. Yeah, sorry about that. Where's your jacket, Moggy?
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: It's outside there.
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: It's Jacket Wednesday. Jacket.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: I jacket every day.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: Do you?
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: Doosh, doosh.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: No, I don't. Yeah, you do, mate.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Probably down to once every 10 to 14 days.
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: Oh, bullshit.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Jeez. Is that all? Is that what I can look
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: forward to? That's what you can look forward to, man.
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: It's good. See, the thing about you as a young
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: fellow there, Keezy, you're scratching an itch. You're scratching an itch.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: How do you know it's itchy? There's no itch.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: The itch goes away.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: I quite like having the itch, though.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: Does it?
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Jase, he's a dirty old dog.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, man.
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: Jase is a filthy bastard with a high sex drive
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: and an enormous penis.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: That's a story he's carved out for himself.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm a
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: dirty old dog.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Oh, you are.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: I agree I'm an old dog. Yeah. But I've got
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: some new tricks.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: I reckon he's quite vanilla, to be honest.
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: Do you? Do you really?
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: I reckon you put this sort of image out there,
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: as Moggy said, but in reality I think you're quite
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: a vanilla, low sex drive, dud root, small penis kind
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: of guy.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: But, new jacket though.
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, new jacket.
• 8:30
  Speaker 5: You could not be further from the truth, Keezy.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: So what's the opposite of everything you just said there, Keezy?
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: What you said earlier. Big penis.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: I've got a tiny penis.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: High sex drive.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: Huge sex drive.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: Filthy animal. Amazing in the sack.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: Amazing in the sack.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Best chicken soup in the world.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: Well, I don't have that when I'm having sex, obviously.
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: Sure you do. Why not? Well, because I'm focused on.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: It helps you with your sickness.
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: I'm focused on my lover.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Do you reckon you could make chicken soup whilst doing it?
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: You like that? No, not like that. You like that? No,
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: not like that at all.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: Do you reckon you could make chicken soup while doing it?
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: Or is it quite an involved thing?
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: Why would I, Keezy? What?
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: The best of both worlds, Jase.
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: That's a stupid question.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the best of both worlds.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: Chicken soup and jagged it.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: You can have your cake and eat it too, man,
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: you know?
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: So do you think, could I make chicken soup while
• 9:22
  Speaker 5: I'm making love?
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah. No. Couldn't you?
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: No.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: I reckon you could if you had to.
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: No.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: Gun to your head. So I'm standing next to you
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: with a gun to your head.
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: If I could give you a vape and I said, Jase,
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: if you make chicken soup and make love at the
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: same time.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: You'd do it.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: Where am I putting the cutting board?
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: On her back.
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: Pugs. Come on, man.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: It's funny because in my head I was like, on
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: her back, but I had a mouthful of coffee.