Latest / Iridescent: The Grief Podcast / Grieving without The Rainbow Bridge & finding your own path.
Transcript
- Courtney Trethric: Alright, y'all. We're talking about something a little controversial today. I've gotten a lot of pushback about this online, and I think I am ready to clear up some questions. This is regarding my post about not believing in the rainbow bridge. And if you're new around here, hi, hello. My name is Courtney. I'm a holistic pet grief guide. I use tools like astrology, herbalism, and divination to work with pet grief, to not necessarily get over it. But how to get through it with intention and retaining your personal power and not feeling like you're totally lost in the sauce. And with that comes dismantling things like the Rainbow Bridge. Listen, I get it. If it really helps you and it is something that has brought you so much peace, and it is the only way that you could ever imagine getting through this traumatic loss, this episode isn't for you. Exit out now. For the folks that it didn't bring any comfort to. And it made you feel angry and anxious. And it just made you feel more alone in your grief. Hi, hello. I see you. It's not for everyone. It's not something that you have to subscribe to. And even if you have feelings of not agreeing with it and just feeling turned off by it. And I feel like a lot of times if you even mention that to people, they're like, what the hell is wrong with you? What do you mean? And then you're like, ⁓ shit, I didn't realize that I wasn't supposed to say that out loud. This is a space where we can talk about that because it's something that you don't need to be into. It can make you angry because not for nothing. People say, ⁓ they're in a better place. They're at the rainbow bridge. They'll be waiting for you. ⁓ I'm sorry, a better place than in my arms, in my house, in my bed. Is that where my pet should be? Is on this rainbow bridge that's attached to heaven, a heaven that I don't believe in, waiting for me. So they're going to be waiting there for all of eternity, but it's only going to feel like two seconds to them. For me, that didn't bring any peace. And I want to make this really clear before we go any further. If you are someone who loves this idea, also no tea, no shade. I love that for you. All I want is for people to have their own personal relationship with grief and honoring their soul animals. If that is a part of your grief journey, I love that for you. I really do. But I also want to make space for the people that it just made them feel worse because y'all can understand and resonate with this episode. Or send it to someone that you know. That way they understand where you're coming from. Is because it's something that is so taboo and I really don't understand why. We're allowed to have differences. We're allowed to have different understandings, especially spiritual ones. And I feel like it's healthy. They have different spiritual understandings and relationships, especially when it comes to death, dying, and grief. So for me, it is just the Rainbow Bridge is too tied to heaven and hell. I feel it's a little religious. And it just didn't resonate with me. Because for me, you'll hear, I think it was in episodes one and two talking about my soul cat's journey to the other side. I get signs from him all the time. I got signs from him that night and the next night. So how could he be doing that from a bridge in heaven if he's here with me, just in a different plane, a different dimension, but still sending me messages? That's why I don't resonate with it. That's why for me, I don't believe in it now, and not for nothing. That could change. That's something that if you're listening to this for the first time and this is your first introduction to me, hi, hello. I love admitting that I've changed. It's something I feel like I'm okay with changing. I'm okay with admitting that I have a different perspective. But for me, right now, right here, this is my perspective. And I know so many other folks feel the same because it grief isn't one size fits all. So to think that this one vision of what happens to your pet. after they die is the quote unquote correct one or the only one is kind of bullshit. It's just there's so many different options. I feel like when we when we dismiss anyone who doesn't resonate with that version of pet loss, we're also taking different spiritual journeys out of the equation. We're taking out atheists, folks that are agnostic, pagans, wiccans. Buddhists, we're taking everyone else out of the equation. And not to say that it is 100% a Christian Catholic adjacent view, but we're talking about that it's a bridge to heaven. If you don't believe in heaven, especially the Christian Catholic one, how does that resonate? I like to believe that I hear him in the wind, that I get messages from him from mammals and dragonflies. that he sees me praying at his altar. And yes, I said praying. That's also something that's on my website, is you can see that I'm okay with the word prayer because I view them more as intentions, words of affirmation. To me, no one er owns the word prayer. It's something that I use very liberally in my practice as a whole. So yes, I sit at his altar and I pray. I light candles. I leave him offerings. It's something that I'm tending a relationship with him. I also incorporate a lot of fires into me honoring him. I light fires outside. We have a big outdoor fire pit. I remember the first night he came home in his little cremation box. We had a beautiful fire. We welcomed him home. We burned things and just had a sacred fire space for him. To let him know, hey, we see you. Welcome home. To me, that's more impactful than just believing that he's in quote unquote a better place. You can really be an atheist and also believe in the Rainbow Bridge. I'm not lumping anyone together. And spirituality is not a monolith. So if you don't resonate with the Rainbow Bridge, know that you are not alone. You can send this to someone who might not get why you don't resonate with it. You can save this for when it happens, the old last day, and just know that you're not alone. We can hang out here as friends and just talk about the real shit that comes up when we lose our darling ones. There's also what a crow in the background, and I hope you can hear it because it's pretty cool. So that's what I have to say about that. I might make a part two and really deep dive into the lore behind the Rainbow Bridge. But I wanted to clarify my feelings for it, my reasons why. And also clarify: listen, if it works for you, I love that. I'm never gonna dismiss anyone's version of spiritual healing when it regards grief. Ever, ever. I want to make that so clear. It's something that I'm happy that you have peace. So thanks for hanging out with me today. I'm thinking of also making some more ritual guides for. Hosting funerals for your pet, ways to honor them when their ashes come home. If that's something you're interested in, let me know. Or if that's something you've done, send me an email, shoot me a DM on Instagram, because I want to hear about it. I want to hear what was helpful for you when your pet departed. Because the only way that we start healing from this big hole in our hearts is if we talk about it more. So shoot me a DM. I'd love to hear about. your funeral or how you've honored them, and we'll talk soon. Bye.