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Priceless Tips To Embrace A New Era · Two Broke Chicks

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gaddigal Land Always was, always
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Hey chicks, I'm out and and this is two broad Chicks,
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: the show that shares life lessons and tips to make
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: you rich. In Live Today, we are joined by the
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: beautiful jar Da Briichi.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: Hello, thanks for having me go.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Thanks blowing by the way, Thank you.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: I need to show up and look better than the host,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: get it.
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: So that's a common occurrence.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: I love the blazer, I love the boots, I love
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: the jeans, everythings cheeks sligh. But today we are going
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: to chat all things about new beginnings, motherhood. I'm so
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: excited because we were saying sow and I know you
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: probably know a bit more because your sister's just had
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: a baby.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Shit all.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: So like, I'm so excited to just like lose my
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  Speaker 2: mind in this episode.
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  Speaker 1: I can't wait.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: But before we get into the episode, we like to
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: share a little life lesson of the week.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: So, as our guest of honor, would you like to start?
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd love to. My Oh god, we're going to
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: get deep real quickly. My life lesson of the week
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: is I'm kind of struggling with breastfeeding at the minute,
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: which is a lot more emotional than you would anticipate.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: And yeah, it takes a bit of a toll on
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: your confidence. So I'm trying to remind myself that some
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: things are just out of my control and I'm doing
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: the best that I can and that's all that I
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: ever can do. So that's probably my life lesson this
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: week is be easy on yourself, you know, and just
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: do your best and that's all you can do. And
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: that's okay.
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's so easy for us to try to control
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: the things that we simply can't.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I think that that experience especially is so
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: much more common than people think, but nobody talks about
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: it because there is a lot of shame surrounding it,
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: which strangers. Yeah, is bizarre and so unnecessary. So also
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: thank you for sharing that, because I think a lot
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: of people will hear that and be like, oh.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: My god, I had that experience.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Like if they go through that in future,
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: you know, they'll remember that they're not the only one.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, of course happy to.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah what about you, Sally Beally?
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  Speaker 3: Okay, well can you change?
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: No, Mine's like not anything crazy, but it's also not
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: anything enlightning.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Okay, it's your favorite type of lifeless. It's just fun.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: And it's called the unexpected red theory. Have you guys said, Yeah, no,
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: I've heard of it. Yeah, so the Unexpected red theory.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: It was coined by a Brooklyn based interior designer, Taylor
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  Speaker 2: Migliazo Simon Hope I pronounced I think he's like that, yes,
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: So she describes it as the unexpected red theory is
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: basically adding anything that's red, big or small to a
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  Speaker 2: room where it doesn't match at all, and it automatically
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: looks better.
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  Speaker 3: I love that.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I reckon that works with also our fits exactly,
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: it does.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, So I've seen a bunch of people jumping on
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: this trend with their interiors and just buying a few
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: little things like going to a vintage shop and maybe
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: buying like a red lamp or a cushion or a
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: print or something, and it really does bring the whole
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: room together and like draws your eye to that and
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: just instantly elevates the room.
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  Speaker 1: It gives a personality. Yeah, that's right.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Whenever you have like a little poper red in an
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: outfit's like bang my life lesson.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Speaking of seeing red this.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Week, I got scammed on Facebook marketplace?
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: Did you I did. That's awful.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: I got scammed out of one hundred and twenty dollars.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: And you paid before you got the product, Yeah, you didn't.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I did. So here's the thing. I understand that there
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: were flags. They may have been read. She hurned my trust.
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  Speaker 2: Guys, I haven't been betrayed like this since a very
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  Speaker 2: long time.
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  Speaker 1: Ok but anyway, it's giving, boomer, it's given. Okay, why yes,
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: two don't hurt my heeling.
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  Speaker 2: But I really prided myself on being a Facebook marketplace,
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: like God was like, yeah, First of all, they didn't
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: have a face on their profile picture.
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  Speaker 1: Oh okay, maybe that was red flag.
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  Speaker 2: Second of all, I wanted to pay with PayPal because
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: you can always ladgch things through PayPal, and they didn't
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: have PayPal, so I just senter it on PAYID. However,
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: this person sent their phone number as their pay ID,
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: so I was like, as if you would give me
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: your phone number if you were going to scare me,
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: Well she did. And then so I was buying a
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: PlayStation two with all the old games like SingStar and
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Eye Toy and Buzz and I was so ready and
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: it was a present for my partner for his birthday,
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: and I was going to surprise him with all the
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: games that he liked. And I told her this, Yeah,
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: just blinded by the promise. I was really excited about
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: seeing Star and Buzz.
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: Yeah, just be really conscious of your Facebook marketplace if
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: they want you to do a bank transfer or a
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: paid run.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: For the hills. So you've obviously entered a.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: New era of life, and I wanted to start with
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: a question from our audience, which I thought was like
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: the perfect opening, But do you have any advice, manifestation,
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: or words of wisdom to help those who are going
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: through changes or entering new beginnings in their twenties or
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: any age.
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  Speaker 3: I would put myself in the category of being like
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: a risk taker, and I think that I've almost always
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: been glad for the risks that I've taken, and I
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: think that that is a great way to approach something new,
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  Speaker 3: because if you hold yourself back, you're not really experiencing
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: what you're trying to experience fully. And yeah, I think
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: you know, it's it's a bit cliche. You know, they
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: say you regret the things that you don't do over
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: the things that you have done. I think You've just
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: got to fool immerse yourself, you know, yeah, take the
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: risk and go for it.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: How do you get over the fear?
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  Speaker 2: Though?
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  Speaker 1: Do you ever have like that thing in your head
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: that you're like, yes, but what if?
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you've kind of I mean, I just try
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: to drown it out really with other thoughts, Like it's
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: about shifting your mindset really and allowing yourself to have
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: the control to do that. You know, you've it's really
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: easy to go, oh no, that's too hard, that's scary.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: I think if you throw yourself into oh but what
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: if you know? And what are the It's so funny.
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: I was actually speaking about this with my husband yesterday
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: on our podcast. I was saying, what is the best
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: possible outcome of this thing that you you are trying
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: to do or could do, you know, versus the worst
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: possible outcome and living in the fear based you know,
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: so switch your mindset, think about the best possible outcome
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: and just focus on that. Because you know, most of
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: the experiences that you have in life that have taken
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: you to a place where you've had, you know, something
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  Speaker 3: incredible happen. It's not because you've sat at home and
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: you know, done nothing in your bed all days because
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: you've gone and you've done something new or taken a
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: risk or had an experience. It's different. So just remind
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: yourself of those moments when you're kind of going, oh
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  Speaker 3: this is scary.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that.
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  Speaker 4: It's like not thinking about the but what if it
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  Speaker 4: doesn't work out?
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: It's but what if it does?
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  Speaker 2: I love that, Yeah, because but what if usually has
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: a negative connotation, but it can have a positive one. Yeah.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: This was another really popular question that was sent in
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: by the Chicks. But how did you know that you
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: wanted to or were ready to have children?
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: That's such a good question, and I can't say that
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  Speaker 3: there's any like real re is in. It just happened overnight.
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  Speaker 3: I was really actually not ready to have kids, and
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: I was adamant that I wanted to give myself time.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: And then just one day I woke up and I
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: was like, yeah, I feel ready. I you know, got
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: my ducks in a row. Yeah, I'm happy, I'm comfortable,
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: I'm safe. I think it is it's like safety. Really,
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  Speaker 3: you just feel really content and safe in your environment.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: And I felt like, oh, I feel really good, you know,
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: And I think it just happened naturally. Like that is
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: when you're you're not maybe running on adrenaline, you're not
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: in FI or flight or something. You know, you're in
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: a really calm, content place and then it just hits
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: you and your body goes make babies. That's good.
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  Speaker 4: I think it's I think especially for women because of unfortunately,
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: you know, we are faced with this like clock and
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  Speaker 4: this pressure that there is a certain that we're kind
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  Speaker 4: of put in.
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  Speaker 1: It's like a streamline being like gon quite quickly.
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  Speaker 2: That I think that is a really really nice thing
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  Speaker 2: for people look for to look to being like do
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  Speaker 2: I feel safe?
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  Speaker 3: Do I feel secure?
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  Speaker 4: Like do I feel like this is genuinely what I
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: want rather than having pressure put on us?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, being like.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah you one, well look right out of time
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: and it's like no, And I like that that was
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: your experience. And I feel like that's going to help
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: a lot of people in identifying whether or not that's
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: a pathway they want to take. But since becoming a mother, yes,
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: which like I just that's a slave, I'm.
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: Still struggling to like identify as a mom. It's really weird.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: When's it going to kick in that I feel like mum. Yeah,
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: that time, I was going to.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Ask, like, what's the process of keeping your self identity,
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  Speaker 2: because I think that's something that a lot of mum's,
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: first time mum's, new moms or moms can experience a
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: lot of.
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: It's a good question because at the moment, I don't know,
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: it's almost like you can't like you've got to You've
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: just really you're sacrificing a lot, right, But I think
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: for me, I don't feel like I'm not myself. Does
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: that make sense? I'm still me and kind I saw
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: a lot of kind of dialogue around you change entirely.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: You're not the same version of You're not your same you,
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: you know, And I don't necessarily relate to that. I'm
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: still very much me. I feel like me. However, I
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: don't have time to do me things, you know. I
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: do occasionally a tiny bit here and there. It's a rarity.
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: But I actually posted on Instagram recently and what I
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: put something I put in my caption was that there's
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: not enough hours in the day to be a mum
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: and also myself. And that's kind of how it feels.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: It's like I don't have time to take care of
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: my child and then do me stuff. So it's not
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: that I've compromised who I am, but I can't get
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: around to being her. Does that make sense?
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: How does that like? How do you navigate that in
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: terms of how it.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: Feels, I personally am. I'm really grateful for Fletcher coming
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: into our lives, as I'm sure most parents are with
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: their bubbs. So I'm okay with it, like I'm at
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: peace with it. And I also fully recognize that my
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: life would change after I had a baby, so I
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: kind of acknowledged that before it all happened. So I'm
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: probably like, I'm okay with it, you know, like I
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: know my time will come back around again. Yeah, it's
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: not forever. It's like this is important now, is taking
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: care of our child and making sure that he's our
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: priority and in putting all our energy into him. And
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: you know, my time will come later. And I've had
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: twenty nine years of me time, and I've lived very selfishly,
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: you know, in a good way I should. Yeah. Yeah,
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: So it's just understanding that that's just the natural way
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: of things when you do have a baby. And yeah,
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: it is hard in moments, mainly because you just the
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: downtime's not there. You know, when you have downtime, you've
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: got to get things done. So the just the relaxing
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: and kind of my husband's amazing. He's been putting Fletcher
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: in like a rap on him and he you know,
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: has him for a few hours in the evening and
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: I'll have a bath and that's my time and that's
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: really really nice. So, yeah, you find your pockets of
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: time and you make it work. But also just fully
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: accepting that, yeah, life's not going to be the same
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: and I'm not expecting it to be the same, and
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: that's okay, and I'll come back to my stuff a
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: little bit later on. Yeah, And from like my experience
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: just witnessing people in my life who've recently had their
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: first baby, I feel like it sort of comes and
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: goes in ways.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: Yes, like sometimes they can deal with that compromise, with
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: that silver lining outlook and be like, well, this compromise
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: because now I have this beautiful addition to my family
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: and it's absolutely worth it. And then other days they're like, god,
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: I just want to like go shopping with.
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: My friends and just do whatever I want.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think also knowing that that will sort
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: of ebb and flow and trying not to feel too
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: guilty when you do have those more negative thoughts as
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: well would be really important too.
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: I can imagine that's so normal, Like you're so you
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: used to living one way and then literally overnight your
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: whole life changes. So, yeah, it's difficult for everyone. I'd
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: be surprised if anyone said, no, I'm fine. I haven't
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: had any days where I've struggled. You know, that's na.
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: That is simply not how it goes. Yeah. So there
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: are days, of course where it's more overwhelming and you
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: need that rest a bit more and you can't get it. Yeah,
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: and you just kind of you do the best that
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: you can and you try to tap in your partner
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: and you tap out if you really need a break.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: And that's you know, that's what they're there.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: It's incredible. Oh yeah, I'm you're the bath. Yeah, that
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: just made me think.
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: So when you were saying overnight the video you posted
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: before you'd had Fletcher, and you're like, well, I know
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: if I'm in labor, and then you stitched it and
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: you went.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: I knew I know.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: It was there.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: I genuinely thought I wouldn't recognize flavor I don't know.
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: It was like, what if it's just so gradual that
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: I don't know and then all of a sudden the
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: baby comes.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: We also wanted to talk to you about a really,
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: really incredible post and words of wisdom.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: You made about the bounce back trend.
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: So this post received over sixty seven thousand likes just
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: to read your stats at you, but a.
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: Lot of people, yeah, right, And I think that's what
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: speaks volumes about how much pressure there is on people
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: that have babies to bounce back, and how this trend
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: is just put bluntly, like a bit facked. But if
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: you don't mind me reading your words back to you as.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Well as your stats.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: So, almost eight weeks postpartum and no bounce back insight.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: Motherhood is messy and unpredictable and hard. It's also empowering
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: and confidence building and beautiful. My body grew a body,
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: and for that it's forever changed, a reminder of the
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: miracle I created. I don't want to be the exact
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: same person I was before I had Fletcher. I'm incredibly
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: proud of who I am and whatever accomplished. I birthed
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: a whole human and am nourishing him my appearance is
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: ever changing, and I'm grateful for that. If it was stagnant,
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: it would mean I wouldn't have had the privilege of
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: experiencing something so profound. Fletcher has very quickly become the
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: greatest part of my life, and my new body is
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: a symbol of how lucky I am to have him.
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: If you're on a similar path, please be kind to yourself,
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: eat the Yemmy foods, and buy some new clothes. You
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: absolutely deserve it. I know reading this like back to
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: you would probably sound a bit weird.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: No, it actually sounds nice coming from you.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: That's not true. But I really really wanted to read.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: This out because I think you put this You're gonna
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: make me come. In the last episode, I was like,
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: I'm two days away from a period, touching God.
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: It feels like that all the time when you post smart.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: But I really wanted to read it out because I think, unfortunately,
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: this is not the norm, this is not what women
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: here enough, and I wanted you to really have a
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: moment to share that because you have so much good
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: advice on women and how you know they should be
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: celebrated and how What I really really loved about this
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: is how you didn't want to go to who you
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: were before because your life has changed, and you like
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: how it's changed.
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean it's like what I
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: was saying before, everything's so different. And you know, I've
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: seen and heard people talk about like, oh, your life
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: doesn't have to change, and it's like I respect that perspective. However,
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: it really does entirely change. And I'm sure you know
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: with your sister, you've probably seen everything changes. Everything's different,
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: But you want that, right, Like, you're not having a
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: baby to have the exact same life that you had before,
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: have the exact same experiences, the exact same emotions. That's
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: not what it's for. You want the change, so you know,
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: don't be afraid of it and fully embrace it. And
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: I I've spoken about body image on social media pretty
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: much my whole life because I just really love empowering
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: women in any way that I can, and so I've
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: tried my best to share things that I think will
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: resonate with people and kind of help them lift them
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: up a little bit. And myself, you know, sometimes I'm
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: talking to myself literally just then. Yeah, sometimes it's a
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: reminder to me because sometimes I forget as well. But yeah,
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: my whole body changed. I grew a child, Like, how
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: could I possibly expect it to look how it did prior?
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: It's just it's simply not possible. When change occurs, you know,
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: things are not the same. Yeah, the meaning of the words.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: So yeah, I love that my body did that. That's
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: so cool. Not everyone gets to experience that, and some
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: people really want to and they can't. And for those people,
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: that's really heartbreaking, and I feel for them wholeheartedly. I
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: can't imagine how hard that would be. So I feel
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: really blessed and really lucky and grateful that I was
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: able to do that, and to look at my body
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: in any way other than thank you, it just is
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: heartbreaking because how cool is that? And now not only
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: am I have I grown this child, but I'm also
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: nurturing it and he's growing off me and off what
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: I'm like doing and eating and drinking, And how freaking
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: cool is that? Like, yeah, my tits have dropped a bit, that's.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Fine, for the sacrifice is well worth it.
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: Look at what's also happening because of that, Like look
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: at the you know, yeah, exactly what you're saying, Like
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: you're watching your baby.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: It's a freaking miracle. Yeah. So we've got to stop
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: thinking about our bodies as these visual things. They're functional,
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: you know, they help us get from a to b.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: Like I get to walk across the room, you know,
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: I get to move, I get to run, I get
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: to swim. Like how incredible is that? It's not just
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: how I look in a mirror, you know?
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I really liked.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: Probably the last thing our bodies were designed to do
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: is to look hot.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Like, let's just get that rhetoric out.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: Do you have any advice to anyone, though, who is
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: feeling quite stuck on that and feeling a lot of
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: pressure to bounce back, whether they're a new mum or
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: yeah in general, or anybody who's experienced changed with their body.
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess if you're struggling to think from the
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: perspective of like this is a good thing, then you
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: can you can try to shift your thinking to no
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: one is spending longer than half a second looking at
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: me and caring about the way that I look more
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: than I am, you know, more than we all care
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: about ourselves and our appearances. You're not walking in a
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: room and looking at everyone and analyzing them for an hour?
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: Are you You take a glance, you probably don't even
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: spare a thought to it, and then you move on.
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: That's it. You know, we're all too caught up in
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: our own lives. I think everyone's a bit narcissistic.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like the society that's been built has built
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: us to be so narcissistic because that's like the pressure
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: that's put on us.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: We're like, yeah, so you know, you're in your own
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: little bubble worrying about how you look. So is everyone else?
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no one else cares as much as you.
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: Exactly, I think as saying like, no one else cares
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: as much as you do. I think with being a mother,
• 21:13
  Speaker 4: sometimes there are people that maybe care a bit too
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: much and being especially someone who receives a lot of
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: public opinions.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: But I think this is relatable.
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: Like I think all mothers have probably had someone share
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: an opinion or tell them what to do that was
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: completely unsolicited advice. How do you deal with other people's
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: opinions on how to parent your child?
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: It's hard on when it's coming from like people you know,
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: or like family, or that's harder actually than just random people,
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: because random people you can dismiss, yeah, like, oh, thank you,
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: I'll change the whole nursery now. Really, there are comments
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: that can be helpful, like the past. You know, it's
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: supposed to be like this, you know, and people who
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: say it politely great, But yeah, I think it's harder
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: when it's coming from someone you love and who's opinion
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: you normally would respect and take on board, and you
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: have your own way of doing things. Maybe you know,
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: that's really hard, and I think you've just got to
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: remind yourself that, like everyone's often the people who are
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: saying this stuff has have had their own journeys and
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: their own experiences with that sort of stuff, and so
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: they think that they're coming from a good place. So
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: you've just got to be open minded to that and think, Okay, like,
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: I know you think that you're trying to help, and
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: I appreciate that, but I'll just kind of nod on
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: my head and say okay and keep doing what I
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: feels best.
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you know, the path of least resistance, I guess, yeah,
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: because that's going to end up like if you're going
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: to get stuck on those things kind of up with everything,
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: like it will ruin your day.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you let stuff like that. I know it
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: would be like I can't relate to it at all.
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: Obviously I have a cat if anyone told me how
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: to do that, so I'm mad and be.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: Like notice on wet food dipe. But I can imagine
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: it would be really, really difficult because as well as
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: especially a new mother, you're like, I'm I'm doing my best.
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: I'm doing what I'm trying to do.
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: But I think that's a really good point on and
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: I think that comes with a lot of advice or
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: opinions that you do get from people that you love
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: and that love you back.
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: Is that it is always an attempt within your best teacher.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's I would like to say, majority of the time,
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: it's coming from a good place.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can just smile and nod and also remind
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: yourself that every person is different, so therefore every mother
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: is different, every baby is different too, so not every
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: piece of advice that you get from your mom or
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: your auntie or whoever is even going.
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: To apply to your baby. Yeah, so you yeah, can
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: also just politely smile and nod. Sounds like one of
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: your biggest fet faves is like unsolicited advice and opinions. Yeah, anyway, anyway,
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: let's talk about because obviously as a new mum you
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: buy a lot of new.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: Stuff and probably things that you didn't even know existed before.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and I've never thought of purchasing. So what's
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: the most expensive thing since having a baby?
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: All of it? I'm sorry, No, there's so many you
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: don't not like, you just don't know how bloody expensive
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: having a baby is. It would probably be the crib
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: or the chair, the recliner.
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: Oh, but that's something you want to make sure. Is
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: that good and comfort?
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: I need to say if you are a mum to
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: be and you're like trussing up, Oh, should I spend
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: a bit more on this chair or get these other
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: two things that I really want? Get the bloody chair.
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: You are going if you're breastfeeding, you will live in
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: that chair. You will hate the chair by you know,
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: after twelve weeks because you'll be in it so much.
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: Make sure it's really comfy and you love it because
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: you're going to spend so much time in it. And
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: I would recommend a recliner as well, because you want
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: to put your feet up and lie back a little
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: bit sometimes to be sitting in that thing you are in.
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: You're glued to that thing, so make sure it's a
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: good one.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: That's great advice.
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, are there any maternity brands that you discovered and
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: fell in love with?
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: Honestly, I didn't wear much maternity wear. I had in
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: bits and pieces. There there were a couple of maternity
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: brands I actually wore in love. If you go on
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: my pages, you'll go and see them. I think I
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: did a haul on TikTok. I'm just totally blanking on
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: the name. Their clothes were really good, but I mainly
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: just found clothes that I I that were stretchy, or
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: jeans that I just bought a really large pair of jeans,
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: or because a lot of a lot of maternity.
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but you don't feel I feel like you should
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: still be able.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: To feel sexy and good and kind. And that's the
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: thing is I.
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: Feel like, you know, the whole branding around maternity where
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: it can be a little bit not sexy, like it's
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: like you're a mother now.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: So what I did was I got large, Like I
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: went to Unicorn and just bought some jeans that were
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: like beig and baggy and loose, and I lived in
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: active waar, I really lived in active ware, and like
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: lounge pants, Like we have a brand, and I have
• 26:23
  Speaker 3: a pair of lounge pants for my brand that I
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: just I just lived in those because they were very
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: stretching and comfy. And then I just wore like T
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: shirts or you know, like button ups or that sort
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: of stuff that's just still comfy, you still feel a
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: bit like you. And when I went out, yeah, I
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: dressed up a bit. I wore really stretchy dresses or yeah,
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: tried to find like cute like body suits that were
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: like lacey and a bit sexy, still cute. Yeah, So
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: I tried to have fun with my like pregnancy looks
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: because I enjoyed that. I liked dressing the bump. Yeah,
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: I didn't want to wear the jeans with the stretch
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: bit that cut off at the mean half. What's that about?
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: Why did they all cut off at a.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Weird It's like it all looks the same, and you're like.
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: But we don't want to wear this like a gap
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: in the market.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: I reckon, But I also like that approach because then
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: perhaps you can wear those pieces beyond exactly easy, yes,
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: which is more cost effective and sustainable as well.
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: Love.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: Okay, so I love the love story.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: So you've talked a little bit about your partner already,
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: but you guys have a really cute love story.
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: Can you give us a little run through of your
• 27:38
  Speaker 4: love story? Yeah, and to know when to give something
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: a second chance.
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So for those of you who don't know, my
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: partner and I dated, gosh, it was like ten years
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: ago now, and then we broke up for a couple
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: of years and then we got back together. The thing is,
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: when we broke up, neither of us had any idea
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: that we find each other again. And I don't like,
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: we just it wasn't It wasn't on the cards. It's
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: not like we broke up and we're like, we will
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: find each other. It was like we broke up, we
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: ended things kind of badly, and then I was like,
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: I don't know, it just was really weird. We kind
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: of by chance found ourselves in the same situation as
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: we did the first time, which was that he was
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: recently single and it was too soon, and so we
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: kind of we dated more casually, and then it was
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: turning into the exact same scenario, which was like it's
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: becoming relationship, but he's not quite ready, you know, which
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: happened the first time. However, he committed to me and
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: then there was just this kind of push and pull.
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: It wasn't right. He obviously wasn't ready and he's just
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: like a really good person, so I think he probably
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: dated me out of guilt, so did want to. Obviously
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: it wasn't the right time. He wasn't ready to commit
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: to someone new. You had just gotten out of a
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: relationship long term. So that started happening again, and he
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: kind of he invited me over one night. I thought
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: he was gonna ask me his girlfriend, and he was like,
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: we should stop seeing each other. And I was like,
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: why are you.
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: Blonde?
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: I brought night bag and I was like why and
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: he was like, well, I have feelings for you, but
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: I'm not ready for anything yet and I don't want
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: to ruin it. And I was like, okay, this is
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: so man of you. And so we stopped seeing each other,
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: but we didn't really. Let's be honest, we never do
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: it because we said no, and we kept seeing each other.
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: So we were both emotionally invested and it was just
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: becoming this situation that was exactly what we were trying
• 29:40
  Speaker 3: to avoid. However, he just there was no physical It's
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: like I'd come over and cuddle and that was it.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: He refused to kiss me. He was like, no, I've
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: said I'm not going to do this, so I'm just
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: not going to. But we can spend time together. So
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: it was this weird emotional relationship without the physical. He
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: was trying to fight it, ye, which is like the
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: opposite of how situationships usually are.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: And like he's literally falling in love and it's his
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: own doing.
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: So we split up properly because we were like, this
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: is so stupid. And then I think it was six
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: weeks later or something we found ourselves back together and
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: then where you kind of were exclusive, like the day
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: that we saw each other again and Bob's your uncle
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: and the rest is history. But the thing is, neither
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: of us knew that we'd find each other again. So
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: I think that when we did start dating again, I mean,
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: he was quite different in terms of like he matured
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: quite a lot, and he was showing sight of himself
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: to me that he I knew existed, but he didn't
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: show me in the first relationship.
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: So something was definitely different between yes, like the first
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: and the second, Yeah, and.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: I think it's the same as what I kind of
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: mentioned earlier, is that I mean I had been in
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: relationships that were really intense, on both ends of the spectrum,
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: really intense, like love, really intense hate, quite toxic, and
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: that's what I was used to, That's what I thought
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: love was. It was like these.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Really.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah. However, with Lot, the love was really comfortable and safe,
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: feeling and predictable, and I in the beginning probably wondered
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: whether or not it was the same passion and later
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: on realized, no, it is, but actually even more so,
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: because this is love, this is true love. The other's
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: probably a bit more lust, you know, and just like
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: a really toxic attachment, you know, maybe codependency or something.
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: Whereas with him, it was comfortable, it was safe, it
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: was familiar, it was predictable, it was trustworthy and consistent,
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: and that's how I knew that I wanted to be
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: with him and that he was the right person to
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: kind of set down with. So yeah, I would say,
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: look for instead of looking for the chaos, look for
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: the calm. And in the beginning, if you're used to
• 32:08
  Speaker 3: the chaos, it's going to feel a bit funny. It's
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: going to take some adjustment, but just know that that's
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: where you need to be, that's where you should be,
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: and that's where you want to be for the rest
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: of your life.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's like I get it when like, yeah, yeah
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: you were her snappers. There is like an element when
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: you are like younger and there's like the chaos and
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: you're like and like the drama. Yeah, but like it
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: gets old because it hurts, like it's not fun. And
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: the reason I said consistent as well is because the
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: up and down of.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: Being like, oh we love each other, we hate each other.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: No, and now I'm having this crazy sex it's and
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: it's like that is not sustainable.
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: It's exhausting. Yeah, it's hiring.
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: And I think I went through the exact same thing
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: of like you even on the verge of sabotage a
• 33:01
  Speaker 4: really good relationship when you're like, is this what it's like?
• 33:05
  Speaker 4: Shouldn't there be more like shouldn't it be like.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: I didn't act? Yeah exactly, but.
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: I'm like I've learned and I think maybe it's similar.
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: But it's like I know that this person loves me
• 33:18
  Speaker 4: all the time exactly, not just at a spike in
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: a spectrum.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then it's going to come back down.
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: Like I know that that love is consistent, it's not when.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: It suits them.
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and like that's I think the biggest thing, and
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: the other thing that I love that you said was
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: that between the first time and the second time there
• 33:36
  Speaker 4: was a difference in who you both were as people.
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: That like, when you know, to give something a second
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: chance is because something has changed. If everything's the same, oh,
• 33:45
  Speaker 4: the relationship is never going to be different, Groundhog.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: Know, you got to I think people try and you
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: want to lie to you do want to lie to yourself.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: But has your relationship changed since bringing Fletcher into the world.
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not that your relationship changes, is that you
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: don't have time for your relationship. Honestly, I've heard that all. Yeah,
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: you just don't right now. We just don't, Like we
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: have tiny little pockets of time. If fledgers a sleep
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: and the stroller and it's been a good boy, but
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: like we he's not been a very good sleeper, so
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: like he's not the kind of bub that goes down
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: in the bassinet during the day. He needs like he's
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: very he needs a lot of hands on attention. So
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: we're either he's in a carrier or we're walking with him.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: And that's nice when we get to go for walks
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: together and go to breakfast or something, but we're both
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: very big on physical touch, and we don't get a
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: lot of that anymore because one of us is likely
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: handling baby, yeah, or doing something else that we need
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: to do, so we don't have time to like stop
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: and have a cuddle. And I used to like we
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: I would go into the other room and he'd be working,
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: and I'd go and sit on his lap for ten
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: minutes and we just have a cuddle. And then we'd
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: cuddle at night, and then we'd cuddle in the morning,
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: and then you know, you just don't get that time
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: anymore really, So again, like I spoke about earlier, it's
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: about that kind of sacrifice in the beginning, and you've
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: just got to fully accept it and be okay with
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: it and know that it's normal and everyone's kind of
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: going through this as well. Who's who've just had a baby.
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: So it's not that like our relationship has changed, apart
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: from the fact that you see them in a completely
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: different line and you love them more really, and you
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: see how capable they are in that new role and
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: it makes you go, oh, yes, I've definitely made the
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: right choice with who I've decided to have children with.
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: And I'm so grateful that it's you. And yeah, just
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: incredibly grateful for everything he's done for me and continues
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: to do for me and Fletcher every day. Apart from
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: the love intensifying, the relationship hasn't changed, just that you
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: don't have time to spend time together. Yeah, and that's hard.
• 35:49
  Speaker 4: Potentially, is it like the love languages changed, like kind
• 35:52
  Speaker 4: of like how you're saying before that when you're tired,
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: like block, will that take flesh? Yeah, so you can
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: go and have a bu Yeah, yeah, maybe to find
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: like the different love languages.
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: So you can still like, yeah, you know the loop.
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can appreciate how that love is being shown,
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: even if it isn't how it would have been shown.
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely gone from more like physical touch towards of
• 36:16
  Speaker 3: affirmation and acts of service. And yeah, for sure, So
• 36:20
  Speaker 3: the love's there and you know, more than ever before,
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: and it's this incredible new thing that we're experiencing together.
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I wish we could just have a day
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: to sit together and talk about it and soak it up.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: But you know what I mean, Yeah, yeah, those moments
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: to pause. Yeah yeah.
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: What's the number one thing that you didn't expect about
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: pregnancy and having a baby?
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: I think I really grossly underestimated how time consuming breastfeeding is,
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: and that it cuts your life into these blocks of
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: like about two three are in the beginning of like
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: one hour, and you're supposed to feed for an hour,
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: so you feed for an hour, and then baby's supposed
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: to sleep. But if baby doesn't sleep, baby's hungry again,
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: baby needs to feed for an hour. So it's like
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: just perpetual feeding really, and it's constant and you don't
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: have relief from that in the beginning for a while.
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: And now I'm in a cycle of about three hours
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: where baby feeds for sometimes still forty five minutes, sometimes
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: still an hour, although we're not really supposed to be
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: we're trying to figure it all out. And then I
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: have kind of two hours left to Okay, now I've
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: got a pump, so I've got to go downstairs, sterilize everything,
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: clean everything, put the pump together, you know, twenty minutes,
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: pump twenty minutes, go to the toilet, try to eat something,
• 37:53
  Speaker 3: try to put stuff away, try to get back to emails,
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: try to get back to friends, you know, go for
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: a walk. Walk you don't have time to do you
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: have time to maybe do three of those sorry, not
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: even one to two of those things, yes, and then
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: you're back in the chair. You're back feeding again in
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: that chair. It's just it's really relentless, like I really
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: really grossly underestimated it, and it takes a toll. It's
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: very time consuming, and as beautiful as it is in
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: the beginning, it's really freaking hard. Like it's hard to
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: get it right. And even when you do, it's like
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: are you eating enough? You know, and then you maybe
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: discover that he's not, and then you've got to go
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: reconfigure everything, which is what I'm in the middle of
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: right now. So I just got to a place where
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: I thought breastfeeding got really good, and then all of
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: a sudden, it started taking a bit longer, he started
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: getting really sleepy on the boob, and now I my
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: supplies dropped, so I'm now having to supplement with formula,
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: which means that my supply is dropping more, which means
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: that I'm now doing a million and one things every
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: day to try to reboost it. So I have to
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: eat all these different foods and have all these supplements,
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: have this tea pump right after I feed, and then
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: pump twenty minutes after I feed, and then put him
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: back on the boob thirty minutes later.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: It's exactly the thing that I recently learned, not from
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: personal experience, but that once you think that you've gotten
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: all that right, then you have to figure out how
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: to wean them off.
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: You've got to go away.
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: I'm not trying to like, you know, rain on the braid.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: I'm just trying to say that again, like this is
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: so normal, and it is really hard. I think people
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: have this like visual of like the mom with the
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: baby no breastfeeding, and.
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: It's like la la lu, like that scene and lady
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: in the train, and people are like that and they're
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: just blessed. Good for them. Like, I'm really happy for
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: those people because that would be incredible. But it's really
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: hard for a lot of us, and a lot of
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: people don't want to talk about it because, yeah, for
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: some reason, we make ourselves feel like we're doing something wrong.
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: I definitely did when I found out that Fletcher needed
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: to kind of have a bit of formula to supplement
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: because he wasn't eating an often and I felt horrible.
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: I was like, my poor child has been going hungry.
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: I'm not doing the job I'm supposed to do, and
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: it's really it really affects you. It's really awful. But
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: you know, my husband keeps reminding me, and I keep
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: trying to remind myself that I'm doing the best that
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: I can and it's not my fault. And I'm eating
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: all the foods that I'm doing all the things and
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: pumping all the tools, and that's all that I can do.
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: And you know, if my body's going and not doing
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: what it's supposed to do, then that's okay, and he's
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: going to eat anyway, and it's okay. But yeah, we
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: do we kind of beat ourselves up a little bit
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: about these things. It's this typical mum guilt that you
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: hear about that you just can't help even though rationally
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: you know you're not doing anything wrong. But yeah, that
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: I underestimated breastfeeding a lot.
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: It sounds like a wild and like that's coming from
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: someone who you might be surprised by this, has never breastfed.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: I'm scared, but I also like babies.
• 41:13
  Speaker 4: Are not necessarily within a future for me or sour
• 41:17
  Speaker 4: at the present at all. But I think everything that
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: you've said throughout the whole thing is just it's really hopeful.
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: And it's really exciting, and even with.
• 41:28
  Speaker 4: Like all of the parts that are like, God, I
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: watch this fucking pump again, and you know, sitting in
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: the chair, all of it you say with a smile,
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: and you look genuinely like you're glowing from the inside,
• 41:42
  Speaker 4: and it's just really.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: Beautiful to see keep making you cry.
• 41:54
  Speaker 4: I just think everything is so incredible and inspiring, even
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: to someone that hasn't had a baby and isn't planning
• 42:02
  Speaker 4: on it right now. And I would love to know
• 42:04
  Speaker 4: what's been your biggest life lesson on your entire journey
• 42:09
  Speaker 4: so far.
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's a good question that for me at least,
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: it's easily the most fulfilling, gratifying. It's the only it
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: feels like the only thing that's ever given me purpose,
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: even though I've had a lot of purpose in my
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: life and I've had a very fulfilling life and I'm
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: really grateful for everything that I've been able to achieve
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: and do. Having Fletcher is just it's incomparable, truly, and
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: I'm so grateful that I've been able to have this experience.
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: And I just I love motherhood. It's so precious, it's
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: so beautiful. Every day is different. Every time your baby
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: makes a new noise, it's exciting. And every time they
• 42:58
  Speaker 3: flash smile at you, it's like you just melt away.
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: Everything is like whatever, Okay, yeah, it's been really fucked
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: I've had a really hard day. And then they smile
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: and you're like, okay, yeah, let's do it all again.
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: That's fine, let's have another one, you know. So yeah,
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: it's it's been the most fulfilling thing I've ever done,
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: and I love it. It's been beautiful. So happy for you,
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: Thanks for you both. Yeah, it's incredible.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: Before we'll start crying.
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: For any of the cheeks who don't already follow you,
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: where can they find you and listen to your podcast too?
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: Oh okay, So our podcast is called Mad About You.
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: You can find it anywhere you get your podcasts. And
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: my handle is it's spelt Jade TWINCHI t U n
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: c h Y and that's the same across the So, yeah,
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: ch We'll.
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: Put links in the show notes so everyone can go
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: follow and cry.
• 44:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you so much, and thank you for being
• 44:09
  Speaker 4: so open and vulnerable about your experience. I think this
• 44:12
  Speaker 4: episode is going to help a lot of mums and
• 44:16
  Speaker 4: people who have other mums in their lives.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: And yeah, thank you just so much. We're so greatful
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: had you on the show.
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: Thank you guys so much for having me. It's been
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: so fun, it's been wonderful. And thanks to your chicks
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: for having us in your ear holes.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: We love to be here.
• 44:30
  Speaker 2: And thank you to am I k Made for making
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: today's episode happened by chick Bye Chicks.