Latest / Mindful Success Path / 5 Signs You're Doing Too Much for a Man Who Doesn't Want You
Transcript
- 0:32Imagine this all too common scenario.
- 0:34You're home, you're cooking a meal, you're slaving over it.
- 0:38You're cooking a man's favorite meal, a man that you've been seeing for a while, and you're trying to time it perfectly so that the minute he walks in the door, it's hot.
- 0:46There's only one problem.
- 0:48This guy hasn't committed to you yet.
- 0:49He hasn't even done the bare minimum of calling you a girlfriend.
- 0:52Now, this may sound ridiculous, but one of you just heard this and said,"Oh, damn, that's me," because this scenario is happening more often than we realize.
- 1:03And in this video I'm gonna be sharing with you some of the signs that let you know that you're overdoing it and you're doing too much for a man who doesn't deserve it, and definitely doesn't deserve you.
- 1:15Hi, my name is Amanda.
- 1:16Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
- 1:23Lately we've been talking a lot about relationships.
- 1:25This is based on my 15 years of coaching women in different areas of their lives, and also based on my own transformation where I went from a hyper-independent, high-achieving, overdoing it, adrenals blown out, thyroid problems, perpetually single woman to in 18 months meeting my provider, protector husband, moving to another country, which was a lifelong goal of mine.
- 1:47And in addition to that, creating businesses like this one that bring in money with a lot more ease and flow.
- 1:53And I'll let you know what the secret to all of it was, it was understanding feminine energy and how to live from more of a place of feminine energy as a woman.
- 2:02So if you're interested in that, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel.
- 2:10And if you're new or returning to this channel, then make sure to check out our free divine feminine energy stages quiz because it will let you know which of the four archetypes that I teach belong to you.
- 2:23I teach wounded maiden, I teach awakening warrior, conscious queen, and magnetic empress.
- 2:30These are the four stages of consciousness that I teach as women move through divine feminine energy.
- 2:35It'll be very helpful in helping you recognize patterns that I talk about in this video.
- 2:41So just go to mindfulsuccesspath.com/quiz.
- 2:44It's less than five minutes.
- 2:47You will get your results so you'll know what archetype you are, and then you will receive a guide that lets you know how this archetype is showing up in different areas of your life, including money, including relationships, and including to how you relate to the world as a whole.
- 3:01So mindfulsuccesspath.com/quiz.
- 3:04It's going to help you a lot in the upcoming videos that I have- On this channel.
- 3:11So let's get into it, right?
- 3:12Today we're gonna be talking about the specific signs that you are giving wife level energy to a man who never plans on making you his wife and again, unfortunately, this scenario is very common, and it's one of those scenarios that's very confusing because we're living in a day and age where a lot of things that were once reserved for marriage, people are doing while they're just dating.
- 3:35So for example, cooking was once reserved after you were married, cooking for a man.
- 3:40Cleaning for a man was reserved once you were married.
- 3:43Living with a man was reserved for once after you were married, and you know, doing the deed was definitely reserved, uh, for once after you were married.
- 3:53Now, with modern dating, men are getting all that up front.
- 3:58So number one, there's absolutely no reason or incentive to commit to you, and number two, it cuts off a man's ability to bond to you.
- 4:07So if you are overdoing it for a man and you are twisting yourself into a pretzel for this man, you are cutting off his ability to bond to you because the hormone that he needs in order to bond to you does not get released when you over-function for a man.
- 4:22Men need a challenge.
- 4:24When they have challenge, that hormone gets released.
- 4:27When a woman is giving him that challenge, he starts becoming more bonded to her.
- 4:32So that's, like, off the bat.
- 4:34Like, this isn't woo woo.
- 4:36This isn't out of the ordinary.
- 4:38This isn't anything that's, like, crazy out of this world.
- 4:41It's just stuff that women do not know about men.
- 4:45So we're living in this weird time where a lot of the things that were required of men in order for them to get wife treatment from a woman is no longer required of them.
- 4:57And a lot of women are like,"Well, why have men become more feminized?
- 5:00Why have they gotten passive?
- 5:01Why have they gotten lazy?" Well, that's why, right?
- 5:04The challenge is gone.
- 5:05There's no incentive for them, uh, to commit.
- 5:08And you might think, like, that's horrible.
- 5:10We should be blaming men.
- 5:12Yes, I think some men honestly are just not good men, and those are the men that we're going to be talking about in this video.
- 5:18But there's also a reality that even good men will do things like this because if you don't have boundaries, if you don't have standards, and if you're constantly making it too easy for him and you're becoming too convenient to a man, as I say, there's no incentive for him to step up.
- 5:35And I've had men in my comment section agree with me when I say that.
- 5:40I have had fathers in my comment section saying,"This is what I've told my daughter about men." So don't just take my word for it, take men's word for it, because they've been in my comment section agreeing with me about this.
- 5:54So now let's talk about, um, the signs that you know this man is not a good man.
- 5:59This is not a man that you should continue giving yourself access to because here's the other thing that happens.
- 6:05Men will show you who they are.
- 6:07Men will show you, especially men who aren't good men, they will absolutely show you who they are, um, very early on.
- 6:14But a lot of women, because they don't have standards, because they don't have boundaries, because they want to be liked, and they want to be picked, and they want to be chosen, and they want to be loved, a lot of times they make the mistake of thinking that if they just do more for a man that, you know, it'll change him, or it'll make him choose her, or he'll fall more in love with her.
- 6:35And I've already described how this is...
- 6:37It's literally the exact opposite of how their brains work, number one.
- 6:42But number two, it just puts you in a bad position as a woman, and a lot of women will repeatedly continue giving access to men who have not committed to them, who have not shown that they're good men, who have not shown that they're even on the same page.
- 6:55And a lot of that comes down to lack of self-worth and lack of self-esteem.
- 7:00So I say this with love, that if you start recognizing any of the patterns that you're going to be hearing in this video, I love you, but you need to learn how to love yourself, and you need to learn how to get your self-esteem back up.
- 7:13And if you need some help with that, please take the free quiz so that you could know where you are on the stage of divine feminine energy stages.
- 7:21You can have a better understanding of your patterns, why you're behaving the way that you're behaving, how it's showing up in your life.
- 7:27And in addition to that, it will also let you know of resources that you can go to in order to start healing this part of yourself.
- 7:34So let, let's go into it, right?
- 7:36Let's get into the signs that you're doing way too much for a man who's never going to commit to you.
- 7:43Number one You're cooking for him from scratch sometimes, trying to be the whole trad wife thing, and he still hasn't claimed you.
- 7:53Not just cooking, we're talking cleaning, we're talking cooking, we're talking meal planning, we're talking grocery shopping.
- 7:59I have a joke between my husband and I, this turned into a huge joke.
- 8:02My husband did not know that I knew how to cook and meal plan and all that stuff until after we got married.
- 8:09It's a huge joke, uh, between us now.
- 8:12Now, why did I do that?
- 8:13Because I knew how men bonded, right?
- 8:15And my husband's a good guy, and, but I know how men bond.
- 8:19I already knew that before I got into a relationship with my husband, and I already knew that I wasn't going to be an over-functioning woman because past experience had already taught me that that doesn't work.
- 8:29But many of you, you are out here doing the absolute most with the cooking and the cleaning and the managing his whole freaking life, which we're gonna get to in a second, for a man who never claimed you, in hopes that he is going to claim you.
- 8:45One example that comes to mind that's recent is Megan Thee Stallion because it was, like, huge news.
- 8:49She was dating this basketball player.
- 8:51This basketball player already had a very public history of cheating on his past partners, ding, ding, ding, red flag number one, um, that she decided to ignore.
- 9:00And there was this picture that came out where she was, like, cooking a whole Thanksgiving meal for his family, and a lot of women called it out and they said,"Hey, that's performative." She was trying to show that she could cook, right?
- 9:11"Oh look, I get along with your family.
- 9:12Look, I can cook.
- 9:13I can make a whole Thanksgiving spread," only for him to cheat on her and break up with her anyway.
- 9:18Because it doesn't work.
- 9:19It's not what makes men fall in love.
- 9:22Now, in the case of Megan, she...
- 9:23We already knew about this man and this dating history, but you know, she chose to date him anyway, and then it blew up on social media earlier, um, this year.
- 9:35But that would be an example of a woman, you know, not paying attention to the red flags and still giving a man who doesn't deserve it too much access to her, only for her to get butt hurt later Next, right?
- 9:49You've met his mom, you've met his friends, and he still introduces you as my friend.
- 9:56When my husband introduced me to his mother, he basically said,"This is the woman I am going, to marry." When he met my family, he let intentions be known that he was serious about me.
- 10:09In fact, we have another joke, and that joke is that my brother sized him up, right?
- 10:13Right?
- 10:13Because I have protective men, uh, in my family, and my brother was like,"Mm-hmm.
- 10:19I see you." Now, a lot of women will say, like,"That's horrible.
- 10:24That's the patriarchy." Honestly, I think a lot more women need their fathers and their brothers looking out for them the way that my father and my brother look out for me, and I think that's part of the reason why women keep choosing piss-poor men is because they don't have, um, men around them who are protecting them and making sure that they are okay.
- 10:45So the other joke, which we've talked about publicly, is that my, my brother sized up my husband when they met for the, the first time.
- 10:53But basically, um, if you're meeting all the family and friends, and you're still like,"Oh, that's the girl I hang out with.
- 11:01This is my friend," girl, he ain't gonna commit to you, okay?
- 11:05Your role-- You, in your mind, are in a relationship with this man, but he is not in a relationship with you, which is a lot of--big delusion that a lot of women end up falling into.
- 11:17Next is you drive 45 minutes to see him, but he won't drive 15 minutes to see you.
- 11:24My husband got on a plane for 12 hours to meet me the first time that he met me, and he met my whole family on that trip as well.
- 11:33So this is really important, right?
- 11:34If he's always asking for you to go see him, you get on the plane, you get on the flight, you drive, you do this, but he doesn't make effort for you, you already know that this man is not going to commit to you.
- 11:46And again, I share the story of my husband that when he--we were long distance first'cause he was living in another country.
- 11:52We met through work.
- 11:53Um, we were friends first for six months, fell in love.
- 11:56That whole thing happened.
- 11:57When we met in person for the first time, he w- ended up flying for 12 hours, went through a bunch of flight delays.
- 12:04I mean, it was absolutely crazy.
- 12:06But he got to Miami, and he met me.
- 12:12Next is you know his coffee order, you know his mom's birthday, you know his whole childhood history by heart, but he doesn't even know what your favorite flower is because he never thinks about you and he never considers you.
- 12:23Again, girl, this man is never going to commit to you.
- 12:26He's not even interested in you if you are in that type of a scenario.
- 12:31And again, usually this is a woman who's in a relationship with a man in her head, but he's not actually in a relationship with her.
- 12:40And ag- that scenario is common.
- 12:42Uh, I can't even count the amount of emails and DMs and comments I've gotten about women in a situation like that, where in their minds they were They are either in a relationship or were in a relationship with a man who was never in a relationship with her, ever, not once The next one is that you are already envisioning a we, so you're envisioning the future, the holidays, the kids, the white picket fence, the vacations that you're going to take together, the wedding dress that you're going to have, but he keeps telling you,"You know, let's just wait and see.
- 13:12Let's just see where things go." Ladies, I'm going to tell you something.
- 13:17Healthy men know pretty early on who their wife is, and I cover this more in the Magnetic Commitment program.
- 13:25I talk about the psychology of commitment.
- 13:27You can grab it below.
- 13:28You can also join our new membership, The Temple, and you will get all of the trainings I've ever done, plus all the new ones.
- 13:35You can find more information on that below.
- 13:37But the skinny here is basically it doesn't take men that long to figure out whether or not they want to commit to you.
- 13:45When they're like, oh, let's just see where this goes.
- 13:47Let's see what's happening," you've become way too convenient to this man and you need to stop giving him access.
- 13:53I've asked men how long it took them to know when their, you know, wife was their wife.
- 14:00My husband says he had an idea before we were even dating.
- 14:03Um, and within three months he'd already stopped seeing everybody else that he was seeing just to commit to me, and we were engaged and married pretty quickly after that.
- 14:13Um, a, I've asked a lot of men.
- 14:14I was around a lot of high-performing men in my last business when I had a marketing and sales training company, and they all said that they knew very early on.
- 14:22I'm talking like three to six months and they knew.
- 14:25So if a man is still telling you,"Let's wait and see," he's never, ever planning on committing to you.
- 14:31And here's the other thing.
- 14:32Healthy men are never going to leave you in a state of confusion.
- 14:36Healthy men let you know upfront what the deal is.
- 14:39They don't send mixed messages.
- 14:40They don't send messages through social media or their videos.
- 14:44Them liking your story on Instagram means absolutely freaking nothing.
- 14:49Solid men, healthy men, mature men are just gonna tell you where it is that they stand and if they want you, they're gonna let you know and if they wanna commit to you, they're gonna let you know The next is that you defend him in front of your friends and family more than he's ever defended whatever kind of a situation with a non-label you are in.
- 15:10So basically, you've become his personal PR person, right?
- 15:14You've become the PR management.
- 15:16You have become the PR for a relationship that doesn't even exist.
- 15:20That is one of the ways in which you know you are over-giving to a man who is never planning on committing to you And the next is that you continue making sacrifices for him, but he's never once made a sacrifice for you.
- 15:32And again, This happens a lot, right?
- 15:34Where women will give and give and give and sacrifice.
- 15:37They'll sacrifice their career, they'll sacrifice their friends, they'll sacrifice their hobbies, they'll sacrifice, um, a lot.
- 15:44They'll sacrifice their time.
- 15:45They'll sacrifice their bodies by giving a man too much access to her body too soon.
- 15:50They will sacrifice a whole lot for men who are sacrificing absolutely nothing, and the realm of sacrifice belongs to the masculine.
- 15:58Sacrifice is a part of being a mature, healthy, masculine man.
- 16:02I do not have time to get into that in this video, so make sure to subscribe so you don't miss it when I do get into it, or you can join us in the temple, in our membership, and then you get access to every training I've ever done where I go a lot deeper into male psychology Now here's the thing.
- 16:18If three or more of these made you go,"Ugh," right?
- 16:21Then you already know, girl.
- 16:23You already know that you are wasting your time with this man.
- 16:26So the question you need to ask yourself is why do you continue to choose to waste your time with this man, and usually it comes down to what I said, low self-worth and low self-esteem, or lack of self-love.
- 16:37And in order to get really clear on what's going on with these patterns inside of you, then make sure to get our free quiz where you will know where you are on the path of divine feminine energy stages.
- 16:48Just go to mindfulsuccesspath.com/quiz.
- 16:53If you like this video, please go ahead and give it a thumbs up.
- 16:56Also, hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel.
- 17:01Make sure to share it with a girlfriend if it was helpful.
- 17:04Thank you so much for giving me your time today, and I'll catch you on the next one