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24 - Kidnapped - Robert Louis Stevenson · Classic Adventure Books Collection

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The quarrel, Alan and I were put across Loch Eracht under cloud of night,
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and went down its eastern shore to another hiding place, near the head
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of Loch Rannach, whither we were led by one of the Gillies from the
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cage. This fellow carried all our luggage and Alan's greatcoat in the bargain,
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trotting along under the burthen, far less than the half of which used to
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weigh me to the ground like a stout hill pony with a feather. Yet
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he was a man that, in plain contest I could have broken on my
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knee. Doubtless it was a great relief to walk disencumbered, And perhaps without
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that relief and the consequent sense of liberty and lightness, I could not have
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walked at all. I was but new, risen from a bed of sickness,
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and there was nothing in the state of our affairs to hearten me for
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much exertion, Traveling as we did over the most dismal deserts in Scotland,
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under a cloudy heaven, and with divided hearts among the travelers, for long
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we said nothing, marching alongside or one behind the other, each with a
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set countenance I angry and proud, and drawing what strength I had from these
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two violent and sinful feelings, Allan angry and ashamed, ashamed that he had
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lost my money, angry that I should take it so ill the thought of
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a separation ran always the stronger in my mind, and the more I approved
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of it, the more ashamed I grew of my approval. It would be
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a fine, handsome, generous thing. Indeed, for Allan to turn round
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and say to me, go, I am in the most danger, and
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my company only increases yours. But for me to turn to the friend who
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certainly loved me, and say to him, you are in great danger.
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I am in but little your friendship is a burden. Go take your risks
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and bear your hardships alone. No, that was impossible, and even to
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think of it privily to myself made my cheeks to burn. And yet Allan
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had behaved like a child, And what is worse, a treacherous child wheedling
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my money from me while I lay half conscious was scarce better than theft.
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And yet here he was, trudging by my side without a penny to his
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name, and by what I could see, quite blithe to sponge upon the
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money he had driven me to beg true, I was ready to share it
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with him, but it made me rage to see him count upon my readiness.
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These were the two things uppermost in my mind, and I could open
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my mouth upon neither without black ungenerosity. So I did the next worst and
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said nothing, nor so much as looked once at my companion, save with
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the tail of my eye. At last, upon the other side of Loch
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Ehrocht, going over a smooth, rushy place where the walking was easy,
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he could bear it no longer and came close to me. David says he.
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This is no way for two friends to take a small accident. I
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have to say that I'm sorry, and so that's said. And now if
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you have anything, you'd better say it, Oh, says I. I
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have nothing. He seemed disconcerted, at which I was meanly pleased. No,
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said he with rather a trembling voice. But when I say I was
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to blame, why of course you were to blame, said I coolly.
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And you will bear me out that I have never reproached you never, says
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he. But you can very well that you've done worse. Are we to
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part? You said so once before? Are ye to say it again.
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There's hills and heather enough between here and the two seas, David, and
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I will own I'm no very keen to stay where I'm no wanted. This
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pierced me like a lord and seemed to lay bare my private disloyalty, Alan
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Breck, I cried, And then do you think I am one to turn
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my back on you and your chief? Need you durstn't say it to my
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face. My whole conduct's there to give the lie to it. It's true
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I fell asleep upon the mirror, but that was from weariness, and you
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do wrong to cast it up to me, which is what I never did,
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said Alan. But aside from that, I continued, what have I
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done that you should even meet at dogs by such a supposition? I never
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yet failed a friend, and it's not likely i'll begin with you. There
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are things between us that I can never forget, even if you can.
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I will only say this to you, David said Allan, very quietly,
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that I have long been owing you my life, and now I owe you
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money. You should try to make that burden light for me. This ought
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to touched me, and in the manner it did, but the wrong manner.
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I felt I was behaving badly, and was now not only angry with
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Alan, but angry with myself and the bargain. And it made me the
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more cruel. You asked me to speak, said I, well, then,
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I will you own yourself that you have done me a disservice. I
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have had to swallow an affront. I have never reproached you. I never
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named the thing till you did, and now you blame me, cried I,
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because I cannot laugh and sing as if I were glad to be affronted.
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The next thing will be that I am to go down upon my knees
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and thank you for it. You should think more of others, Alan Brick.
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If you thought more of others, you would perhaps speak less about yourself.
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And when a friend that likes you very well has passed over an offense
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without a word, you would be blithe to let it lie instead of making
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it a stick to break his back with. By your own way of it,
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it was you that was to blame. Then it shouldn't it be you
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to seek the quarrel a wi you said, Allan, say no mare,
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and we fell back into our former silence and came to our journey's end.
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And supped and lay down to sleep without another word. The Gillie put us
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across Loch Rennach in the dusk of the next day and gave us his opinion
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as to our best route. This was to get us up at once into
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the tops of the mountains, to go round by a circuit, turning the
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heads of Glen Lyon, Glen Lockey and Glen Dochart, and come down upon
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the lowlands by Kippen and the upper waters of the Fourth. Alan was little
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pleased with a route which led us through the country of his blood foes at
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Glenorchy Campbell's. He objected that by turning to the east we should come almost
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at once among the athol Stuarts, a race of his own name and lineage,
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although following a different chief, and come beside by a far easier and
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swifter way to the place whither we were bound. But the Gilly, who
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was indeed the chief man of Clooney's scouts, had good reasons to give him
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on all hands, naming the force of troops in every district, and alleging,
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finally, as well as I could understand that we should nowhere be so
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little troubled as in a country of the Campbells. Allan gave way at last,
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but with only half a heart. It's one of the dowiest countries in
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Scotland, said he. There's nothing there that I can but heath and crows
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and Campbell's. But I see that you're a man of some penetration, and
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be it as you please. We set forth accordingly by this itinerary, and
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for the best part of three knights traveled on eerie mountains and among the well
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heads of wild rivers, often buried in mist, almost continually blown and rained
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upon, and not once cheered by any glimpse of sunshine. By day we
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lay in, slept in the drenching heather. By night incessantly clambered upon breakneck
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hills and among rude crags. We often wandered. We were often so involved
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in fog that we must lie quiet till it lightened. A fire was never
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to be thought of. Our only food was drummach and a portion of cold
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meat that we had carried from the cage. And as for drink, heaven
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knows we had no want of water. This was a dreadful time, rendered
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the more dreadful by the gloom of the weather, and the country. I
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was never warm, my teeth chattered in my head, I was troubled with
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a very sore throat, such as I had on the aisle. I had
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a painful stitch in my side which never left me. And when I slept
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in my wet bed, with the rain beating above and the mood oozing below
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me, it was to live over again in fancy, the worst part of
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my adventures, to see the tower of shawls lit by lightning, ransom carried
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below on them, the men's backs chuon dying on the round house floor,
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or Colling Campbell grasping at the bosom of his coat. From such broken slumbers,
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I would be aroused in the gloaming to sit up in the same puddle
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where I had slept, and sup cold, dramac the rain driving sharp in
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my face, or running down my back in icy trickles, the mist enfolding
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us like as in a gloomy chamber. Or perhaps if the wind blew,
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falling suddenly apart and showing us the gulf of some dark valley where the streams
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were crying aloud. The sound of an infinite number of rivers came up from
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all around. In this steady rain. The springs of the mountains were broken
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up. Every glen gushed water like a cistern. Every stream was in high
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spate, and had filled and overflowed its channel. During our night tramps,
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it was solemn to hear the voice of them below in the valleys, now
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booming like thunder, now with an angry cry. I could well understand the
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story of the water Kelpie, that demon of the streams, who was fabled
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to keep wailing and roaring at the ford until the coming of the doomed traveler.
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Allan I saw believed it, or half believed it, And when the
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cry of the river rose more than usually sharp, I was little surprised,
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though of course I could still be shocked to see him cross himself in the
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manner of the Catholics. During all these horrid wanderings we had no familiarity,
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scarcely even that of speech. The truth is that I was sickening for my
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grave, which is my best excuse. But besides that, I was of
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an unforgiving disposition from my birth, slow to take offense, slower to forget
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it, and now incensed both against my companion and myself. For the best
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part of two days, he was unweariedly, kind, silent indeed, but
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always ready to help, and always hoping, as I could very well see
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that my displeasure would blow by. For the same length of time I stayed
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in myself, nursing my anger, roughly refusing his services and passing him over
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with my eyes as if he had been a bush or a stone. The
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second night, or rather the peep of the third day, found us upon
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a very open hill, so that we could not follow our usual plan and
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lie down immediately to eat and sleep. Before we had reached a place of
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shelter, the gray had come pretty clear, but though it still rained,
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the clouds ran higher, and Alan, looking in my face, showed some
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marks of concern. You had better let me take your pack, said he,
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for perhaps the ninth time since we had parted from the scout beside Loch
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Rannoch. I do very well, I thank you, said I, as
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cold as ice. Alan flushed darkly. I'll not offer it again, he
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said, I'm not a patient man, David. I never said you were,
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said I, which was exactly the rude, silly speech of a boy
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of ten. Alan made no answer at the time, but his conduct answered
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for him. Henceforth, it is to be thought he quite forgave himself for
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the affair at Cloonies, cocked his hat again, walked jauntily, whistled airs,
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and looked at me upon one side with a provoking smile. The third
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night we were to pass through the western end of the country of Balcahitter.
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It came clear and cold, with a touch in the air like frost,
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and a northerly wind that blew the clouds away and made the stars bright.
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The streams were full, of course, and still made a great noise among
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the hills. But I observed that Alan thought no more upon the kelpie,
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and was in high good spirits. As for me, the change of weather
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came too late. I had lain in the mire so long that, as
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the Bible has it, my very clothes hadhorred me. I was dead,
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weary, deadly, sick, and full of pains and shiverings. The chill
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of the wind went through me, and the sound of it confused my ears.
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In this poor state, I had to bear from my companion something in
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the nature of a persecution. He spoke a good deal, and never without
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a taunt. Whig was the best name he had to give me. Here
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he would say, here's a dub for you to jump my WIGGI I ken,
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you're a fine jumper, and so on, all the time with a
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gibing voice and face. I knew it was my own doing and no one
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else's, but I was too miserable to repent. I felt I could drag
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myself but little farther. Pretty soon I must lie down and die on these
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wet mountains like a sheep or a fox, and my bones must whiten there
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like the bones of a beast. My head was light, perhaps, but
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I began to love the prospect. I began to glory in the thought of
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such a death alone in the desert, with the wild eagles besieging my last
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moments. Alan would repent, then, I thought he would remember when I
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was dead how much he owed me, and the remembrance would be torture.
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So I went like a sick, silly and bad hearted schoolboy, feeding my
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anger against a fellow man when I would have been better on my knees,
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crying on God for mercy. And at each of Alan's taunts, I hugged
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myself. Ah thinks, I to myself, I have a better taunt in
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readiness when I lie down and die. You will feel it like a buffet
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in your face. Ah what a revenge, Ah, how you will regret
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your ingratitude and cruelty. All the while I was growing worse and worse.
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Once I had fallen my legs simply doubling under me, and this had struck
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Alan for the moment. But I was afoot so briskly, and set off
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again with such a natural manner that he soon forgot the incident. Flushes of
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heat went over me, and then spasms of shuddering. The stitch in my
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side was hardly bearable. At last, I began to feel that I could
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trail myself no farther. And with that there came on me all at once
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that wished to have it out with Alan, let my anger blaze, and
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be done with my life. In a more sudden manner, he had just
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called me whig. I stopped. Mister Stewart, said I, in a
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voice that quivered like a fiddle string. You are older than I am and
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should know your manners. Do you think it either very wise or very witty
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to cast my politics and my teeth? I thought, where folk differed,
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it was the part of gentlemen to differ civilly, and if I did not,
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I may tell you I could find a better talk than some of yours.
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Alan had stopped opposite to me, his hat cot, his hands in
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his breeches, pockets, his head a little on one side. He listened,
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smiling evilly as I could see by the starlight. And when I had
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done, he began to whistle at jacobite air. It was the air made
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in mockery of General Cope's defeat at Preston pans Hey, Johnny Cope, are
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you walking yet? And are your drums a beaten yet? And it came
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in my mind that Alan, on the day of that battle, had been
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engaged upon the royal side. Why do you take that air, mister Stewart
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said, I is it to remind me you have been beaten on both sides.
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The air stopped on Alan's lips. David said he but it's time these
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manners ceased, I continued, and I mean you shall henceforth speak civilly of
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my king and my good friends the Campbells. I am a Stewart began Alan
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Oh said, I can you bear a king's name? But you are to
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remember, since I have been in the highlands. I've seen a good many
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of those that bear it, and the best I can say of them is
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this, that they would be none the worse of washing. Do you know
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that you insult me? Said Alan very low. I'm sorry for that,
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said I, for I am not done. And if you distaste the sermon,
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I doubt the pearl cue will please you. As little you have been
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chased in the field by the grown men of my party, it seems a
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poor kind of pleasure to outface a boy. Both the Campbells and the Whigs
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have beaten you. You have run before them like a hare. It behooves
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you to speak of them as of your betters. Alan stood quite still,
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the tails of his greatcoat clapping behind him in the wind. This is a
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pity, he said, at last. There are things said that cannot be
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passed over. I never asked you to, said I. I am as
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ready as yourself. Ready, said he ready, I repeated, I am
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no blower and boaster like some that I could name. Come on, and
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drawing my sword. I fell on guard, as Allan himself had taught me.
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David, he cried, are you daft? I cannot draw upon you,
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David, It's fair murder. That was your look out when you insulted
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me, said I. It's the truth, cried Alan, and he stood
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for a moment, wringing his mouth in his hand like a man in sore
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perplexity. It's the bare truth, he said, and drew his sword.
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But before I could touch his blade with mine, he had thrown it from
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him and fallen to the ground. Nah nah, he kept saying, nah
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Na, I cannot, I cannot. At this The last of my anger
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oozed all out of me, and I found myself only sick and sorry and
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blank and wondering at myself. I would have given the world to take back
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what I had said, But a word, once spoken, who can recapture
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it. I minded me of all Allan's kindness and courage in the past,
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how he had helped and cheered and borne with me in our evil days,
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and then recalled my own insults, and saw that I had lost for ever
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that doughty friend. At the same time, the sickness that hung upon me
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seemed to redouble, and the pang in my side was like a sword for
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sharpness. I thought I must have swooned where I stood. This it was
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that gave me a thought No apology could blot out what I had said.
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It was needless to think of one. None could cover the offense. But
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where an apology was vain, a mere cry for help might bring Alan back
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to my side. I put my pride away from me, Allan, I
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said, if you cannot help me, I must just die here. He
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started up, sitting and looked at me. It's true, said I I'm
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by with it. Oh, let me get into the build of a house.
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I can die there easier. I had no need to pretend whether I
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chose or not. I spoke in a weeping voice that would have melted a
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heart of stone. And Yo walk asked Allan. No, said I not
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without help this last hour, my legs have been fainting under me. I've
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a stitch in my side like a red hot iron. I cannot breathe right
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if I die, Ye'll can forgive me Allan. In my heart, I
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liked Yo fine, even when I was the angriest wisht. Wisht, cried
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Allan. Dna say that David many can he shut his mouth upon a sob
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Let me get my arm about you. He continued, that's the way.
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Now lean upon me, hard good kens where there's a house. We're in
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bald wider too. That should be no one of houses, no nor friend's
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houses here? Do you gang easier? So Davy? I said, I
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I can be doing this way. I pressed his arm with my hand again.
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He came near sobbing. Davy said he I'm no a right man at
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all. I have neither sense nor kindness. I couldn't I remember you were
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just a barn. I couldn't see you were dying on your feet. Davy,
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you have to try and forgive me. Oh man, let's say no
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more about it, said I. We're neither one of us to mend the
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other. That's the truth. We must just bear and forbear. Man Allen,
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Oh, but my stitch is sore. Is there no house? I'll
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find a house to ya, David, he said stoutly. We'll follow down
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the burn where there's bound to be houses. My poor men, will you
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know? Be better on my back? Oh, Allan, says I,
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and me a good twelve inches taller. You're no such thing, cried Alan,
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with a start. There may be a trifling matter of an inch or
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two. I'm not saying. I'm just exactly what you would call a tall
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man. Whatever, And I daresay, he added, his voice tailing off
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in a laughable manner. Now, when I come to think of it,
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I dare say, you'll be just about right. I it'll be a foot,
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or near hand, or maybe even mar It was sweet and laughable to
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hear Alan eat his words up in the fear of some fresh quarrel. I
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could have laughed, had not my stitch caught me so hard. But if
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I had laughed, I think I must have wept too, Alan cried,
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I what makes you so good to me? What makes you care for such
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a thankless fellow? Indeed, and I don't know, said Alan, But
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just precisely, what I thought I liked about you was that you never quarrel.
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And now I like you better. End of chapter