Latest / The You Project / #1783 Business As Usual - Harps & Tiff

Transcript

#1783 Business As Usual - Harps & Tiff · The You Project

0:00
Speaker 1: I get a Champce. It's it's Jumbo and it's Cookie.
0:03
Speaker 1: It's the Bloody You Project. It's us, It's you again
0:06
Speaker 1: for the million time. It's thirtieth of January. As we
0:08
Speaker 1: record this, it's two oh three in the RBO. I
0:11
Speaker 1: don't know why I do that. I do. Do you
0:13
Speaker 1: know why I do that? Tip? It's the U project,
0:17
Speaker 1: like station ID time Check. Yeah, I can tell everybody
0:20
Speaker 1: that's currently it's twenty one degrees in our city by
0:23
Speaker 1: the bay here in Hampton over there in Port Melbourne.
0:26
Speaker 1: Where is that where you live? Do you? Thank God?
0:28
Speaker 1: I don't know.
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Speaker 2: You'll not know.
0:30
Speaker 1: I don't know Ellwood, Elwood? What's a temp in Elwood?
0:36
Speaker 1: Right now?
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Speaker 2: I've got no idea I've got. I haven't worked for
0:40
Speaker 2: se N for a million years like you, so I don't.
0:43
Speaker 2: I don't slip into time check mode.
0:46
Speaker 1: You know, that's what we need. Station ID time check,
0:48
Speaker 1: weather check and coming up after the break, coming up
0:51
Speaker 1: up on the other side of this, we've got the
0:53
Speaker 1: news and Tip Cook's coming into studio to talk to
0:56
Speaker 1: us about, you know, all things buddy health and wellness
1:00
Speaker 1: more on Melbourne's homosport next.
1:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've just been doing a version of this, which irritates.
1:06
Speaker 2: I mean, when I record a bunch of my intros
1:09
Speaker 2: to my show, I kind of do all editing and
1:11
Speaker 2: then I have intro recording moment and they all said
1:15
Speaker 2: and I'm like, it irritates me because I do the
1:17
Speaker 2: same thing. We were around. It's the same. I'm like, oh, spew.
1:23
Speaker 1: Isn't it Isn't it funny? How like with this right
1:25
Speaker 1: where there's no well for me or you, there's no
1:28
Speaker 1: pressure for maybe somebody else doing something like this, there
1:31
Speaker 1: might be pressure or perceive pressure. But when you've got
1:34
Speaker 1: to do, like, give me something where I've got to
1:39
Speaker 1: talk for now, no problem. Give me something where I've
1:41
Speaker 1: got to talk for thirty seconds, I fuck it up
1:44
Speaker 1: thirteen times in a row. Yes, you know where you go.
1:49
Speaker 1: You know, let's say I've got to I've got to
1:51
Speaker 1: do an intro for a pre recorded whatever, and I'll
1:54
Speaker 1: go all right, here we go, all right, all right?
1:57
Speaker 1: Oh fuck? And then you know it's like that, you know,
2:04
Speaker 1: like I was going to do I was going to
2:06
Speaker 1: do a podcast the other day on a particular topic.
2:09
Speaker 1: I know the topic. Well, I fucked it up literally
2:13
Speaker 1: about I don't know seven times, and then I crack
2:17
Speaker 1: the shit. So I threw the glow mesh in the
2:18
Speaker 1: shag pile, I threw the dumpy butt and window threw
2:21
Speaker 1: all the toys out of the fucking cot and I went,
2:24
Speaker 1: fuck that title, I'm not doing it. You can all
2:27
Speaker 1: get rooted and the world clearly doesn't need to hear
2:29
Speaker 1: that shit. Fuck it, And then I sulled.
2:33
Speaker 2: You know what, funny though, I love I actually selfishly
2:36
Speaker 2: love hearing this because the times when we've done like
2:39
Speaker 2: a double episode and you have to record an intro
2:41
Speaker 2: and you do it in front of me when I'm
2:43
Speaker 2: on the screen, you can just go bup and pop
2:47
Speaker 2: it out and it's brilliant, and I'm like, how does
2:50
Speaker 2: he do that? So I love that when because I
2:52
Speaker 2: do the same thing. When someone's not on the screen
2:55
Speaker 2: with me, I can't do it, whereas if there are
2:58
Speaker 2: people on the zoom screen bang on about anything.
3:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I know. It's it's funny how we
3:05
Speaker 1: get in our own way. It's that it's that I
3:09
Speaker 1: did I did an episode speaking of such things, I
3:13
Speaker 1: did an episode just before and I know this is
3:15
Speaker 1: not where we're going today, but fuck it, who knows
3:17
Speaker 1: where we'll go. We always talk. We just had a
3:19
Speaker 1: three minute chat everyone about what we're going to talk about,
3:22
Speaker 1: and then we continue. Then we proceed to talk about
3:25
Speaker 1: none of that. But I did. I did because I
3:28
Speaker 1: think this is relevant. But I did a chat about
3:34
Speaker 1: you know, the difference between what we think and what
3:39
Speaker 1: is real, like the the the perception versus the data.
3:45
Speaker 1: You know, it's like I feel or I think not
3:50
Speaker 1: like I'm not good enough, but there's actually data and
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Speaker 1: evidence to say, well, you are good enough. You know,
3:56
Speaker 1: you're not the fucking best, but you're good enough. Or
3:59
Speaker 1: I'm on lovable or whatever. Well, yeah, I get it,
4:02
Speaker 1: you feel that, but people love you, so you're not
4:05
Speaker 1: unlovable or do you know what I mean? But despite
4:09
Speaker 1: the evidence, we can still believe stuff that isn't true,
4:14
Speaker 1: so much so that we've even got real world outcomes
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Speaker 1: and data and evidence to say that, no, you're not
4:20
Speaker 1: fucking useless. Yet in the middle of that knowledge, we
4:24
Speaker 1: can still feel or even think or believe we're useless.
4:29
Speaker 1: And it's like I'm sixty as fuck and it doesn't
4:33
Speaker 1: go away, like it doesn't it just like the volume
4:37
Speaker 1: goes down and I've done some great shit, like as in,
4:41
Speaker 1: I've done really cool things in my life that I
4:44
Speaker 1: never thought I would do, but the feeling of supreme
4:49
Speaker 1: confidence just is never there.
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Speaker 2: I feel like you were following my friend and I
4:53
Speaker 2: this morning when we walked because I said this to
4:56
Speaker 2: who I had the exact conversation where I said, you know,
5:00
Speaker 2: and I've been thinking about it a lot and realizing
5:03
Speaker 2: it all week in a really intense way, and I
5:05
Speaker 2: just said, I just don't understand why in the middle
5:09
Speaker 2: of not failing things right now, I feel like a failure.
5:14
Speaker 2: And I know that that I don't understand what's going
5:18
Speaker 2: on with this and what creates the intensity around it.
5:21
Speaker 2: At times, it's like a puzzle.
5:24
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you objectively, when I can look at what
5:27
Speaker 1: you're doing objectively in terms of your career and your development,
5:30
Speaker 1: you're learning whatever and go well, you are definitely at
5:35
Speaker 1: the very least improving and growing and evolving at the least. Right,
5:40
Speaker 1: But in the middle of that objective reality, your subjective experiences,
5:45
Speaker 1: I'm dog shit.
5:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I feel like I feel like I know
5:50
Speaker 2: there's growth in one direction, but I feel like there's
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Speaker 2: a decline twice as big in the other direction, and
5:57
Speaker 2: it's such a funny experience.
6:00
Speaker 1: Well as Eckhart tool and many other spiritual teachers would.
6:04
Speaker 1: And you know, missus, I've got a rock in my
6:06
Speaker 1: bra because I've been to Nepal and I had enlightenment.
6:09
Speaker 2: I haven't been to Nepal.
6:11
Speaker 1: Sorry India, Sorry India. But is finding that like being
6:16
Speaker 1: aware of that without becoming that I'm aware of it,
6:19
Speaker 1: I'm not. And I realize like I can think things
6:24
Speaker 1: that are lies, like all that are not true. I
6:27
Speaker 1: can even believe it's true while at being completely untrue.
6:32
Speaker 1: You know I'm not good good enough to I actually said,
6:36
Speaker 1: and I'm probably sorry for repeating this everyone, but you
6:38
Speaker 1: haven't heard it. Tiff. I remember like one of the events,
6:43
Speaker 1: and we're going to do another event. We're going to
6:45
Speaker 1: do a big U Project event at the Communi this year. Everyone,
6:48
Speaker 1: So batten down the fucking hatches, start saving because it's
6:51
Speaker 1: going to be super expensive. So sell a kidney and
6:56
Speaker 1: get ready. Now it's not going to be expensive. But
7:00
Speaker 1: I remember, you know this, self doubt this, I'm not
7:02
Speaker 1: good enough. Who the fuck would want to listen to
7:04
Speaker 1: you or read you or watch you. You know that's
7:07
Speaker 1: been ever present despite the fact that I know that
7:10
Speaker 1: some people do, but I still feel like, who would
7:13
Speaker 1: and why would they? And even though I'm going okay
7:15
Speaker 1: at the moment, I'm just lucky, it's just a phase.
7:18
Speaker 1: It's going to go. But I remember one day at
7:22
Speaker 1: Deacon when we had a room full, we had just
7:25
Speaker 1: under seven hundred people, and I was just in the zone.
7:29
Speaker 1: I don't know why. It's one of those days where
7:32
Speaker 1: it feels like it's coming through you, not from you.
7:34
Speaker 1: It's like you're throwing three pointers at the free throw
7:37
Speaker 1: line and every ball is going in every basket without
7:41
Speaker 1: even touching the net. It was like that, and everything
7:44
Speaker 1: was just working and I kind of had this moment
7:46
Speaker 1: where I looked up and I don't know if this
7:49
Speaker 1: is true, but it seemed like there were seven hundred
7:53
Speaker 1: people in the palm of my hand, just captivated by
7:56
Speaker 1: what was going on, and they were just fully present
7:59
Speaker 1: and they were and what I was saying was landing
8:02
Speaker 1: and there was connection and there was tears and there
8:04
Speaker 1: was revelation and there's like and I just had this
8:07
Speaker 1: moment where I went, fucking the hell, I'm not shit,
8:11
Speaker 1: I'm not shit. This is oh my god, I can
8:15
Speaker 1: do this. You know, this is I'm not terrible, you know,
8:19
Speaker 1: And I remember thinking, I don't this is what I
8:22
Speaker 1: thought to myself. I've had the few times in my life, right,
8:25
Speaker 1: and this was one of the maybe five times in
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Speaker 1: my life where I've gone, don't forget this moment. This
8:31
Speaker 1: is an important moment for you. And I remember it
8:35
Speaker 1: really clearly, and I remember at the end of the
8:38
Speaker 1: day because it was you know, we have lots of
8:40
Speaker 1: good days with those workshops and seminars and conferences that
8:44
Speaker 1: we do, and You've been involved in lots of them.
8:48
Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, everyone had kind
8:50
Speaker 1: of gone and just picking up some shits, and Melissa
8:54
Speaker 1: comes up to me, and we were on the stage
8:57
Speaker 1: and the last person had filter out of the filtered
8:59
Speaker 1: out the room, and she was just packing up her
9:02
Speaker 1: suitcase with a myriad of things that she takes and
9:09
Speaker 1: she just looks at me and she goes, this is
9:12
Speaker 1: actually what she said. She goes, what the fuck was that?
9:16
Speaker 1: And I go, I don't know. I go, I don't know.
9:19
Speaker 1: She goes, oh my god. It was like, you know,
9:22
Speaker 1: when there's just something special that happens, you know, it
9:27
Speaker 1: could be a one on one conversation with someone. Yeah,
9:30
Speaker 1: you know, and even on that day, Yeah, but I
9:34
Speaker 1: don't know. That's the thing about connection and communication and
9:37
Speaker 1: being able to, you know, be in the middle of
9:41
Speaker 1: something amazing with people and creating that experience.
9:46
Speaker 2: Winding back to that idea of the you know, feeling
9:50
Speaker 2: one way about our reality when you know our perception
9:54
Speaker 2: of it, do you reckon there's a relationship. I wonder
9:57
Speaker 2: if there is to me, if there's a relationship between
10:00
Speaker 2: in hope and risk. Right, So, when you're in when
10:05
Speaker 2: you kind of perceive where you're at and you're in
10:08
Speaker 2: this shit spot, there's only hope. There's only hope because
10:11
Speaker 2: there's only one way. It's like, when I changed to
10:14
Speaker 2: do the stuff I'm doing now, we were in the
10:17
Speaker 2: middle of a pretty shitty situation where things will looking grim.
10:20
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, it can't get worse than this, so
10:23
Speaker 2: I'm I'm going to do something new and brave and
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Speaker 2: bold and wonderful. And the only place to go is up.
10:30
Speaker 2: And then all of a sudden, when you start to
10:32
Speaker 2: build on that and you get a little bit better,
10:34
Speaker 2: a little bit better, you're not at the bottom rung anymore,
10:37
Speaker 2: and it's like I could also fall. There's lots of hope.
10:40
Speaker 2: There's all that hope up there, and I'm closer to it,
10:42
Speaker 2: but also I could fall from here.
10:45
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Look, I think that's interesting because when
10:50
Speaker 1: you go, well, there's only hope, I'm like, well, there's
10:53
Speaker 1: definitely hope if you're that way and you can find that.
10:57
Speaker 1: But I think there's also strategy. There's also great questions.
11:01
Speaker 1: There's like, oh, well, I'm in a shit spot, all right,
11:05
Speaker 1: so you just acknowledge I'm in a shit spot or
11:07
Speaker 1: I fucked up, or I'm physically or mentally or financially
11:12
Speaker 1: or professionally out of shape or got that's cool, all right,
11:16
Speaker 1: Then what's one thing you can do today tif to
11:20
Speaker 1: make some ground? What's one thing you can do. What's
11:24
Speaker 1: one conversation, What's one decision, What's one action? But yeah,
11:30
Speaker 1: and that I think that ability to be able to
11:33
Speaker 1: feel like you're not good enough but still try.
11:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, just go.
11:40
Speaker 1: Look, I don't know, I don't know. And it's like,
11:45
Speaker 1: you know, you and I are similar in that I
11:48
Speaker 1: don't think. Well, I don't know. Maybe you're way more
11:51
Speaker 1: naturally gifted than me. I'm not sure, but I don't
11:53
Speaker 1: think you think And I definitely don't think I don't
11:56
Speaker 1: think either of us inherently think that we're fucking geniuses,
12:00
Speaker 1: so we're probably similar in that, And I don't think
12:03
Speaker 1: either of us were inherently you know, you're probably well,
12:07
Speaker 1: you're definitely more genetically and probably more sporting in terms
12:12
Speaker 1: of being gifted than I was, you know, But I
12:15
Speaker 1: think we're similar in that we both don't think highly
12:19
Speaker 1: of ourselves, or we didn't. Maybe we're getting a bit
12:22
Speaker 1: of confidence and awareness now hopefully not arrogance, but yeah,
12:26
Speaker 1: I think that being able to recognize maybe I don't
12:32
Speaker 1: have great self belief, or maybe I don't have heaps
12:34
Speaker 1: of talent, or maybe I might fuck up. But definitely,
12:39
Speaker 1: if I don't try, I'm never going to grow, learn evolved,
12:42
Speaker 1: that get better.
12:44
Speaker 2: Like how did you when you got to a point
12:46
Speaker 2: of like stepping up in it? Let's like, so, whether
12:50
Speaker 2: it be corporate work or speaking or any of that,
12:53
Speaker 2: when it was time to level up and step into
12:55
Speaker 2: that new paradigm, how did you? How did you do that?
13:00
Speaker 2: Because that's when it bolsters me sometimes in the middle
13:04
Speaker 2: of and when I say transaction, I don't mean a
13:07
Speaker 2: financial transaction, but like maybe a conversation in exchange or
13:11
Speaker 2: an opportunity or feedback on something. I notice internally that
13:18
Speaker 2: almost the unworthiness or I'm not this or stuff comes
13:23
Speaker 2: up or I go, so how do you manage? Because
13:25
Speaker 2: that's for me, it's probably one of the biggest things
13:30
Speaker 2: that I keep coming up against.
13:34
Speaker 1: So for me, I have had to be willing to
13:39
Speaker 1: fuck up and fail and get uncomfortable and look silly,
13:42
Speaker 1: like if you can go, I'm probably going to get embarrassed.
13:45
Speaker 1: That's okay. I'm probably gonna not do this. Well, that's okay.
13:49
Speaker 1: I'm probably going to make more mistakes than I'm going
13:54
Speaker 1: to get things correct. In the early days, like for me,
13:57
Speaker 1: it was I've told this story, but I'll just briefly
14:00
Speaker 1: retell it. Like my first couple of speaking gigs, I mean,
14:06
Speaker 1: that's that's really overselling what it was. But I was
14:09
Speaker 1: talking to a group and I did get paid, right.
14:12
Speaker 1: But so the first one was in at a timber yard,
14:17
Speaker 1: and it was in the staff room or the lunch room,
14:22
Speaker 1: talking to a bunch of blokes who didn't give a
14:24
Speaker 1: fuck and you know, really weren't interested. But the guy,
14:28
Speaker 1: the guy that owned the business, I was his trainer,
14:31
Speaker 1: and he loved the shit I said, and He's like,
14:33
Speaker 1: the shit that you tell me, My blokes need to
14:35
Speaker 1: hear that shit. And I went and told them the
14:37
Speaker 1: same shit, and clearly they weren't him, and they weren't interested.
14:40
Speaker 1: But one or two guys. But in the middle of
14:43
Speaker 1: that quite painful thirty minutes in the lunch room, there
14:46
Speaker 1: were just one or two glimmers of connection and hope.
14:50
Speaker 1: And it may be a smile or maybe a laugh
14:53
Speaker 1: or and I just I just had this speaking of hope.
14:57
Speaker 1: I just went ah, like those little so those little
15:01
Speaker 1: moments of connection or those little, tiny little wins, they
15:05
Speaker 1: felt amazing. And I went, oh and a few times,
15:10
Speaker 1: like for the first year that I did stuff like that,
15:13
Speaker 1: and I did probably seventy percent of what I did
15:16
Speaker 1: in the first year was for free, and thirty percent
15:18
Speaker 1: I got paid a dollar fifteen, right. But it was
15:23
Speaker 1: in the middle of doing all of that and every
15:26
Speaker 1: time coming away having done a three out of ten
15:30
Speaker 1: or a two out of ten, or a four out
15:32
Speaker 1: of ten, or sometimes when I was on fire, a five, right,
15:36
Speaker 1: but being able to learn and see in my self
15:40
Speaker 1: growth like I knew, I I like, I'm not good yet.
15:43
Speaker 1: I know I'm not good, but I was terrible and
15:47
Speaker 1: now I'm just less shit. Right. So it's like, if
15:54
Speaker 1: you know you know Brad, that you and I both
15:57
Speaker 1: know jiu jitsu Brad, Right, So if I go and
16:00
Speaker 1: roll with Brad, if I do jiu jitsu with Brad,
16:03
Speaker 1: I know that Brad could kill me seventeen different ways
16:07
Speaker 1: in sixty seconds and I couldn't do anything about it. So,
16:12
Speaker 1: and he's a he owns in a cab jiu jitsu academy,
16:15
Speaker 1: he's very experienced, is very good. He's one of the
16:17
Speaker 1: best probably in Australia in terms of in that you know.
16:20
Speaker 1: And so, but my job is not to go and
16:23
Speaker 1: beat Brad. My job is to go in and go, right, well,
16:26
Speaker 1: Brad's great at this, I'm shit at this, and to
16:29
Speaker 1: work at getting better, not at work at beating at
16:32
Speaker 1: Brad or being as good as Brad, but going well, Craig,
16:34
Speaker 1: you're a You're not even a one out of ten.
16:36
Speaker 1: He's a nine. So you're you're a half out of ten.
16:42
Speaker 1: And so yeah, for me, it's just about that, you know,
16:46
Speaker 1: It's just about going well. I've just got to work
16:49
Speaker 1: at being better and maybe down the track, I don't know,
16:53
Speaker 1: maybe I'll have a podcast that thousands of people listen to.
16:55
Speaker 1: Or maybe I'll write a book and someone will buy it,
16:58
Speaker 1: you know. Or maybe I'll write a few books. So
17:00
Speaker 1: maybe I'll do a talk and I'll be fucking terrible,
17:03
Speaker 1: but maybe one day seven hundred people will pay to
17:06
Speaker 1: listen to me and I'll be great. Who knows, or
17:10
Speaker 1: you know?
17:10
Speaker 2: It's that I've been doing some work with a friend
17:13
Speaker 2: of mine. He's a speaker also, and we're just following
17:17
Speaker 2: some processes that from some of his coaches and that
17:21
Speaker 2: he does, so he's walking me through. It's about idea,
17:25
Speaker 2: generation and content and just really valuable stuff, a way
17:31
Speaker 2: of thinking. Like my brain hurt when he introduced me
17:33
Speaker 2: to this stuff. And after the first we did a
17:35
Speaker 2: co working day together, that night, I messaged him and said, hey,
17:41
Speaker 2: with love, fuck you because yesterday I was a speaker
17:47
Speaker 2: and I knew what my message was and I knew
17:50
Speaker 2: what I spoke about. And right now I feel like
17:54
Speaker 2: dogshit that doesn't know anything and can't even articulate to
17:59
Speaker 2: you in an empty room what I'm talking about, because
18:03
Speaker 2: it was introduced to this entirely new level of a
18:07
Speaker 2: way of thinking and understanding things that just wasn't familiar
18:11
Speaker 2: to me. Yeah, and that that's so confronting.
18:15
Speaker 1: What did you Okay, so what was the How long
18:17
Speaker 1: ago is that?
18:19
Speaker 2: Oh? A couple of weeks?
18:21
Speaker 1: So what's that? What do you know now? Like you
18:23
Speaker 1: felt shit straight away? What do you know now? And
18:26
Speaker 1: what have you adapted? And what do you think now
18:30
Speaker 1: about that?
18:31
Speaker 2: So I think that I realized that I I'm great
18:37
Speaker 2: at telling stories, but I'm not great at articulating what
18:43
Speaker 2: my point is before being like I'm great if you,
18:46
Speaker 2: but if a company comes to me and goes, we
18:49
Speaker 2: want to talk about this, this is our what we
18:51
Speaker 2: want to get across. I'm awesome at going through our
18:55
Speaker 2: mental filing cabinet and nailing that. I'm not great at
18:59
Speaker 2: some one going what do you talk about? What do
19:01
Speaker 2: you want to come and tell my company? I'm like, oh,
19:04
Speaker 2: And then in the trying to pull that out of
19:06
Speaker 2: my head, it's like the messy fucking sock draw. It's everywhere,
19:10
Speaker 2: and my brain goes from I can't categorize cleanly and
19:15
Speaker 2: clearly and create flow with my points, and I know
19:21
Speaker 2: I do it on the fly, but I just feel
19:23
Speaker 2: like there's value in understanding that if I want to
19:25
Speaker 2: be able to portray what I do when I have
19:28
Speaker 2: opportunities to connect with people and companies.
19:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, yeah, that is interesting. I think we can
19:37
Speaker 1: complicate it. Right. Yesterday I spent half a day with
19:43
Speaker 1: I haven't said this yet, have I? Maybe I said
19:46
Speaker 1: that the kids from Lara Secondary College. Right, great, your
19:51
Speaker 1: twelve kids amazing. We did it at ballaratt Uni. And
19:57
Speaker 1: whether or not I'm talking to you know, elite sporting team,
20:01
Speaker 1: which I do, or I'm talking to a company like
20:05
Speaker 1: a corporate space, you know, in a fancy fucking conference center,
20:09
Speaker 1: or I'm talking of blokes on a construction site, or
20:13
Speaker 1: I'm talking as seventeen year olds at a school or
20:16
Speaker 1: at a university. It was. The common thread is that
20:21
Speaker 1: you're trying to help them think better, do better, be better,
20:24
Speaker 1: create better outcomes. Right, And so I reckon you can
20:29
Speaker 1: distill it down to a ten twenty second elevate a
20:34
Speaker 1: pitch as they call it, which you can then build on.
20:38
Speaker 1: So when someone goes to me, what do you do,
20:41
Speaker 1: and they're really asking what my job is, I go
20:43
Speaker 1: I help people change stuff. The end it's like I
20:46
Speaker 1: don't know what that is. You know has seven words
20:49
Speaker 1: or six words? I help people change stuff five words, right,
20:53
Speaker 1: and they're like, what is what stuff? I go, lots
20:56
Speaker 1: of stuff, you know. I go head stuff, mind stuff, life,
20:59
Speaker 1: life stuff, habits, behaviors, you know, thinking outcomes, results. Oh,
21:05
Speaker 1: how do you do that? And I go, well, you know,
21:07
Speaker 1: I'm an excise scientist. I'm doing my doctorate in the
21:10
Speaker 1: mind PhD in you know, psychology. So we think about
21:15
Speaker 1: all the human stuff, you know, like the thing we
21:18
Speaker 1: have in common is we all want to succeed, we
21:20
Speaker 1: all want to be healthy, we all want to be happy.
21:22
Speaker 1: And so we open that door. And oh and then
21:24
Speaker 1: so just by going I help people change stuff, you know,
21:28
Speaker 1: then people go generally almost everyone says what people what stuff?
21:33
Speaker 1: I go, all people, all stuff. You know. It's like
21:36
Speaker 1: at least open the door, Like here's what we know.
21:40
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter what environment or what person or what situation.
21:43
Speaker 1: Nobody in front of you wants to be less happy,
21:47
Speaker 1: Nobody in the room wants to be less healthy, Nobody
21:50
Speaker 1: in the room wants to be more of a failure,
21:52
Speaker 1: nobody wants to be more fearful. Right, and so it's
21:58
Speaker 1: like I think once you try and over talk it
22:01
Speaker 1: or over explain it, you do yourself a disservice, you know.
22:08
Speaker 1: So I tend to go, oh, look, I work with
22:11
Speaker 1: teams and athletes and companies and individuals about just helping
22:14
Speaker 1: them create better outcomes in their world the end, you know,
22:18
Speaker 1: or whatever, because invariably there's a question, nobody goes ah
22:23
Speaker 1: and walks away. They go ah, cool, thanks by, Like
22:28
Speaker 1: they don't do that. I've never had that done. So
22:32
Speaker 1: what I do is if I go, oh, well, thanks
22:34
Speaker 1: for asking. Well, actually I do a range of things.
22:37
Speaker 1: I'm an author, you know. Then people are shut up,
22:41
Speaker 1: like I'm always like undersell over the liver. Just open
22:44
Speaker 1: the door, say something a bit interesting but also authentic,
22:47
Speaker 1: open the door a bit, and then let them come
22:50
Speaker 1: through and ask you stuff if you want. But I mean,
22:53
Speaker 1: the nutshell of what you do is the same. Your
22:57
Speaker 1: job is to help people perform better whatever people and
23:00
Speaker 1: whatever perform means better habits, better thinking, better decisions, better
23:05
Speaker 1: operating systems, better protocols, better lifestyle. You know, it's all
23:10
Speaker 1: the same stuff, right even you know, It's like, I'm
23:14
Speaker 1: not a corporate guru at all, but I work successfully
23:19
Speaker 1: in the corporate space. But I've never ever been corporate myself,
23:25
Speaker 1: Like I've never been a corporate employee ever in my life.
23:29
Speaker 1: Yet I can go into the corporate space and thrive
23:33
Speaker 1: because everyone in the corporate space is a human and
23:38
Speaker 1: I'm pretty good with humans, you know. So yeah, but
23:43
Speaker 1: I think over time, I don't know if this is
23:45
Speaker 1: very podcasting what I'm saying, but fuck it, I feel
23:47
Speaker 1: like it's just you and me. I'm coaching you. But
23:50
Speaker 1: I think over time, you're going to get more succinct
23:52
Speaker 1: and more clear, and you know, it's just going to
23:56
Speaker 1: become more where, more and more, as you get more
24:01
Speaker 1: experienced and more confident and more competent, it's going to
24:06
Speaker 1: be not that you are in any way choreographed or
24:11
Speaker 1: you know, you're more person than persona, but as you
24:14
Speaker 1: do more and more my experiences anyway, for me, you
24:18
Speaker 1: just it's almost just like you're having a conversation, but really,
24:22
Speaker 1: you know, really like yesterday, sorry you go.
24:28
Speaker 2: Well, I was just say what I've really what I
24:31
Speaker 2: like and am drawn to about this process of working
24:34
Speaker 2: with Mike is the research and the deep dive into
24:41
Speaker 2: what are my thoughts? Where does this come from? What
24:44
Speaker 2: is the research like stuff that I like? Where have
24:47
Speaker 2: I drawn this from? And because I want to leave.
24:51
Speaker 2: I want yeah, I want to leave people with all
24:54
Speaker 2: of the directions I've looked in so they can go
24:56
Speaker 2: and look there too, like real clarity around I think
25:00
Speaker 2: just even the idea of it's made me go back
25:04
Speaker 2: and read books I've read before on specific topics and
25:09
Speaker 2: bring to mind, get real clarity on why I've landed
25:13
Speaker 2: where I've landed with all of this stuff, and what
25:15
Speaker 2: is the research and other people who talk about it,
25:19
Speaker 2: what are the things that I've agreed with and disagreed with,
25:22
Speaker 2: and how can I talk about that to a room
25:25
Speaker 2: because that's all relevant, Like all of it, all of
25:28
Speaker 2: the stuff that's my stuff is just a decision that's
25:31
Speaker 2: built on stuff that I have agreed with and disagreed
25:34
Speaker 2: with and maybe changed my mind about over time. So
25:39
Speaker 2: I've loved the process of going back to that and
25:43
Speaker 2: playing there, but it's just left me in a bit
25:45
Speaker 2: of a whirlwind of oh, I'm not used to thinking
25:48
Speaker 2: in this one's being used to thinking in a different way.
25:53
Speaker 2: And I know I use my brain a lot in
25:55
Speaker 2: what I do, but like it physically hurt. I was
25:58
Speaker 2: physically at home going my brain hurt feels like I've
26:01
Speaker 2: done a workout with my head.
26:04
Speaker 1: That's funny, Yeah, funny. Can I tell you a little secret. Yeah,
26:09
Speaker 1: your brain can't hurt because there's no pain receptors in it.
26:12
Speaker 1: But anyway, you're welcome. That's ten dollars. I'll send you
26:15
Speaker 1: the bill.
26:16
Speaker 2: You're doing a PhD. You wouldn't have been able to
26:18
Speaker 2: kill me that.
26:19
Speaker 1: But what what I was going to say to you
26:22
Speaker 1: is what I think is something of a relief for
26:28
Speaker 1: all speakers, is you're not the answer, like Tiff Cook,
26:36
Speaker 1: not the answer. Tiff Cook. I can call you a
26:41
Speaker 1: chick because you call yourself a chick, So please don't
26:43
Speaker 1: send me an email everyone Tiff calls herself that you're
26:46
Speaker 1: a chick. On the stage in front of a bunch
26:47
Speaker 1: of other people sharing thoughts and ideas and stories. Some
26:51
Speaker 1: of them are going to land, some of them are
26:52
Speaker 1: going to connect. Some people are going to be fucking inspired.
26:55
Speaker 1: Some people are going to be looking at their Facebook
26:57
Speaker 1: while you're talking. Some people are going to walk away
27:00
Speaker 1: and go, she's a gum. That was the best thing
27:02
Speaker 1: I've ever fucking heard. And a few people will go, ah, right,
27:06
Speaker 1: that's what we do. You go in there and you
27:08
Speaker 1: go I'm going to tell you some stuff that I think,
27:11
Speaker 1: some experiences, I've had, some insights I've gained, maybe a
27:16
Speaker 1: story or two, and then I'm going to explain why
27:19
Speaker 1: I'm telling you all that, and then you're going to
27:21
Speaker 1: maybe do something with it or not right. And so
27:26
Speaker 1: it's not like I never you know, I would never
27:30
Speaker 1: tell someone how to think, but I would talk about thinking.
27:33
Speaker 1: I would talk about metacognition and you know, metaperception, all
27:37
Speaker 1: of that. I would never tell someone what they should eat,
27:40
Speaker 1: but I would talk about nutrition. You know, I would
27:43
Speaker 1: never tell someone what would be the best job, but
27:46
Speaker 1: I could talk about the psychology of work and fulfillment
27:49
Speaker 1: and connection and purpose and what tends to work for
27:53
Speaker 1: some people in terms of you know, thriving not surviving
27:57
Speaker 1: in work for forty years, and you know, so you
28:00
Speaker 1: can talk about things without directing people, because there's some
28:05
Speaker 1: stuff that we know, Like I think we can safely
28:09
Speaker 1: say that if you have a job where you feel
28:12
Speaker 1: like it's meaningful and you have purpose and you have
28:16
Speaker 1: connection with other people and you feel like you're doing
28:19
Speaker 1: good and growing and evolving, and well, there's a fair
28:22
Speaker 1: chance you're going to like that job. But if you
28:24
Speaker 1: get paid a million bucks a year, and I know
28:27
Speaker 1: some people that think it wouldn't matter what it was.
28:29
Speaker 1: I would fucking love it. You wouldn't love it like
28:32
Speaker 1: I mean, if you had a job where you've got
28:34
Speaker 1: a million bucks a year, twenty grand a week, but
28:37
Speaker 1: you fucking hated every moment of it, guess what your
28:40
Speaker 1: life is not. That's not success, that's not joy, that's
28:44
Speaker 1: just income. And so you know, I think there are
28:48
Speaker 1: these things that are broadly relevant, if not one hundred
28:54
Speaker 1: percent applicable all of the time. But as I said
28:59
Speaker 1: to these kids, yes there's seventeen. Yesterday was day one
29:02
Speaker 1: of year twelve. I'm like, what a fucking exciting time
29:05
Speaker 1: it is for you, you know? And I said, here's the thing.
29:08
Speaker 1: You know, No, there's no optimal career. There's no optimal plan,
29:16
Speaker 1: but there's there's the best plan for you, though, but
29:20
Speaker 1: your best plan will be the worst plan for the
29:22
Speaker 1: person next to you, and the career that blows your
29:25
Speaker 1: socks off. I'm like, how many of you want to
29:27
Speaker 1: be an influencer? Right? And of course no, not all
29:31
Speaker 1: the hands. I thought it would be everybody, but a
29:33
Speaker 1: few hands went up, you know, and you go cool.
29:36
Speaker 1: So for some of you, maybe that's what you should
29:38
Speaker 1: or could do for Maybe you'll be an architect for
29:41
Speaker 1: some of you, maybe you'll be a world famous chef,
29:43
Speaker 1: or maybe you'll be none of that. Maybe you'll buy
29:45
Speaker 1: a truck and you'll have a truck driving business and
29:48
Speaker 1: you'll transport stuff around it. Who knows, it doesn't matter,
29:52
Speaker 1: but it's trying to find this, you know, Like what's
29:56
Speaker 1: going to work for tif cook won't work for the
29:58
Speaker 1: next person. And you know, it's like I say that
30:00
Speaker 1: people don't don't do what I'd do because most people
30:03
Speaker 1: would hate it because I don't actually have a job
30:05
Speaker 1: or predictability, or I don't have a set wage. I
30:08
Speaker 1: don't have you know, I don't have holiday pay, I
30:11
Speaker 1: don't have sick pay. I don't have much security in
30:14
Speaker 1: that sense, or predictability or certainty. Most people would hate
30:17
Speaker 1: what I do because it's extremely financially vulnerable, you know.
30:22
Speaker 1: But I thrive in that. But most people don't.
30:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, And there's so much there's sacrifice in every aspect
30:32
Speaker 2: of what we do in life, Like because I'm thinking
30:36
Speaker 2: about it, you know, I think about that a lot.
30:38
Speaker 2: I could not fathom the idea of nine to five
30:43
Speaker 2: again with someone else owning my time, me having no autonomy,
30:47
Speaker 2: but also would love someone to pay me super and
30:50
Speaker 2: holiday pay. I'd love to be able to leave the
30:54
Speaker 2: job at work at five pm and turn my head
30:57
Speaker 2: off like there's and you go, well, you get a
31:00
Speaker 2: choice of what you are willing to pay for that,
31:03
Speaker 2: and you get to pay it like because seven days
31:06
Speaker 2: a week, any time of the day, I can go
31:09
Speaker 2: and walk my dog at my will any day I could,
31:13
Speaker 2: I couldn't theoretically just do whatever the fuck I want.
31:17
Speaker 2: And that's the price I pay. Is well, that you
31:20
Speaker 2: can do that, You've also got to fucking make enough
31:22
Speaker 2: money to pay yourself in super so you can eat
31:25
Speaker 2: when you're sixty.
31:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, But I don't even think it's a price.
31:29
Speaker 1: I think it's the joy you get. I'm like, for me,
31:31
Speaker 1: there's like it's not even none of me feels like
31:34
Speaker 1: I'm missing out on I I feel like that. I'm like,
31:38
Speaker 1: I feel like I've been cheating for forty years. I
31:42
Speaker 1: feel like the fucking kid who got away with the cake, right,
31:46
Speaker 1: I'm like, just I'm the fat kid in the corner
31:49
Speaker 1: with a fucking chocolate cake and I'm just getting away
31:52
Speaker 1: with it, you know, like my mum, I reckon my
31:57
Speaker 1: mum for about the first twenty years, is like, what
32:00
Speaker 1: the fuck do you actually do? You don't have a job?
32:04
Speaker 1: You know. She didn't like even when I owned like
32:08
Speaker 1: a proper business, gyms and stuff, to me, that was
32:12
Speaker 1: a fucking scam. Like if I didn't own a gym,
32:15
Speaker 1: m'd be in a gym two hours a day anyway.
32:18
Speaker 1: And now I could just be in the place I
32:19
Speaker 1: want to be in and people give me money, and
32:22
Speaker 1: nothing that I do feels like a job. I'm around
32:26
Speaker 1: people who are happy, people who are getting in shape,
32:29
Speaker 1: people who are having good conversations, people who get excited
32:32
Speaker 1: to come to see you, people get excited to come
32:36
Speaker 1: to the place that you work at, and it's just
32:38
Speaker 1: this fucking massive, kind of amazing energy. And you're like, yeah,
32:44
Speaker 1: this is not a job. This is a scam. And
32:46
Speaker 1: I'm in the middle of this scam. I'm making dough
32:48
Speaker 1: fucking don't tell anyone. I hope it doesn't catch on.
32:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah it did.
32:53
Speaker 1: Personal training court on Ah, well oh well, oh well
33:00
Speaker 1: that's that. I think. It's just you know, I was
33:04
Speaker 1: talking to these kids yesterday. Did you see the picture
33:09
Speaker 1: I put up of that young kid. No, oh, go
33:13
Speaker 1: to my instagram right now. I know this is not
33:16
Speaker 1: very good. Go to my instagram and have a look
33:19
Speaker 1: at the photo of that kid. And I now, if
33:21
Speaker 1: you want to see this kid everyone, his name's Declan.
33:25
Speaker 1: Just turned seventeen, day one of year twelve yesterday. Now,
33:29
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not tiny. I'm five ten and I'm
33:35
Speaker 1: eighty six kilos.
33:40
Speaker 2: Dre just above his like your your head comes up
33:44
Speaker 2: to his mouth with your head comes up to his lips.
33:49
Speaker 1: Yeah, I look like I'm fucking four foot seven, yeah,
33:54
Speaker 1: and fifty two kilos and I'm five ten and eighty
33:59
Speaker 1: five or six kilos. And I don't think he would
34:03
Speaker 1: mind me telling you because dudes don't care. And he
34:07
Speaker 1: said to me, and he's in good shape. Right, So
34:10
Speaker 1: he's six five and one hundred and thirty kilos and
34:14
Speaker 1: he's in good shape, like he's an athletic six five
34:18
Speaker 1: one thirty.
34:20
Speaker 2: When when I hear stats like that, the first thing
34:23
Speaker 2: I think is wow, I managine how much food he
34:25
Speaker 2: gets to eat.
34:29
Speaker 1: Anyway, back to what I you know, Like, the thing is,
34:34
Speaker 1: I was trying to emphasize to those kids, like you
34:38
Speaker 1: can pretty much do whatever you want, like, I know
34:41
Speaker 1: there are limitations, and but but don't do what mum
34:45
Speaker 1: or dad necessary. Like if what mum and dad want
34:49
Speaker 1: you to do is also what you want to do,
34:51
Speaker 1: well cool, but don't become a fucking doctor because mum
34:54
Speaker 1: and dad want you to become a doctor. Become a
34:56
Speaker 1: doctor because that's what you want. Become a truck driver
35:00
Speaker 1: or a train driver, or a personal trainer, or a
35:02
Speaker 1: fucking artist or a street performer, whatever you want. Like oh, yeah,
35:07
Speaker 1: but you've got to pay the bills. Yeah, you know what,
35:09
Speaker 1: You've also got to live and have some joy in
35:11
Speaker 1: And the thing is that it's like, well, let's find
35:14
Speaker 1: let's get an income, but let's have joy as well,
35:16
Speaker 1: and maybe we could do both. Maybe we can make
35:18
Speaker 1: a fortune and also do the thing that we love.
35:22
Speaker 1: And just trying to get across to them that you
35:24
Speaker 1: don't realize how much potential you have at this time
35:30
Speaker 1: in your life. And also you don't need to figure
35:34
Speaker 1: out the next forty years by Friday week. You know,
35:37
Speaker 1: it's like this doesn't I talked to thirty year olds
35:40
Speaker 1: who don't know what they want to do, and I'm like,
35:42
Speaker 1: guess what you've got another fucking fifty years, so chill,
35:45
Speaker 1: like there is no hurry, like even when I finished
35:50
Speaker 1: my current study, and like I reckon, I don't know.
35:55
Speaker 1: I don't know what I'm going to do, but I
35:56
Speaker 1: tell you what I'm not doing thinking about winding down
35:59
Speaker 1: or retire. I'm excited. I'm excited.
36:03
Speaker 2: I go.
36:04
Speaker 1: Is there a chance I'll do some more study? YEP?
36:08
Speaker 1: I probably won't, But could I go and do like
36:12
Speaker 1: I would go and do a degree in something that
36:14
Speaker 1: I know nothing about just because I want to learn that.
36:17
Speaker 1: And it's never been not easier, but it's never been
36:20
Speaker 1: more convenient to study now because you can do so
36:23
Speaker 1: much online. A friend of mine's doing a master's in nutrition,
36:29
Speaker 1: primarily nearly all of it online. I mean, it's full on,
36:32
Speaker 1: it's a lot of work, but like and just to
36:36
Speaker 1: just to like talk to these kids and go, hey,
36:40
Speaker 1: the world is your oyster, Like there is so much
36:44
Speaker 1: stuff that you can do. But also then too like
36:48
Speaker 1: presenting with them the idea of intentional living, which is
36:54
Speaker 1: having said that, yes, there are so many options and
36:56
Speaker 1: so many roads you can choose, but also you're not
36:59
Speaker 1: going to accident wind up in an awesome place like
37:02
Speaker 1: you need to choose it. You need to do the
37:04
Speaker 1: work you need to. You need to keep getting up,
37:07
Speaker 1: You need to be resilient, you need to, you know,
37:09
Speaker 1: find your reason. You need to outlast the motivation. You
37:12
Speaker 1: need to. So also, it's not all fucking you know
37:17
Speaker 1: roses and you know puppies. It's like there's there's still work,
37:22
Speaker 1: and there's still discipline, and there's still effort and energy
37:25
Speaker 1: and you know, there's all of that. But at the
37:28
Speaker 1: same time, if like most of my listeners do, if
37:33
Speaker 1: you live in Australia right now, it's a pretty fucking
37:36
Speaker 1: good time despite all the doom and gloom that we're
37:40
Speaker 1: exposed to, you know, twenty twenty five, Like, there have
37:45
Speaker 1: been so many periods evolutionary, evolutionarily where humanity has been
37:51
Speaker 1: in a way worse place than we're at now.
37:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true. Can I share something brilliant on a
37:59
Speaker 2: completely unrelated topic.
38:01
Speaker 1: You can.
38:02
Speaker 2: It's a new discovery. It replaces doom scrolling www dot
38:06
Speaker 2: explore dot org. Harps log onto it right now. This
38:11
Speaker 2: is a website that has live cameras around the world
38:15
Speaker 2: just watching animals. I watched polar bears eating bamboo for
38:19
Speaker 2: ten minutes yesterday instead of doom scrolling and my soul
38:23
Speaker 2: was on fire. You can tune into a puppy whelping room.
38:28
Speaker 2: You can watch the Seals, you can watch Eagles.
38:33
Speaker 1: It's explore dot org.
38:35
Speaker 2: Explore dot org.
38:37
Speaker 1: All right, it's coming up.
38:39
Speaker 2: Oh the pandas are so cute.
38:42
Speaker 1: Let me put on my specs. Oh wow wow, oh
38:47
Speaker 1: my god, this is.
38:50
Speaker 2: Real time and like no humans, just animals doing their thing.
38:57
Speaker 1: Gray Seals currently live. Oh my god. All right, well
39:04
Speaker 1: that fucked me up. Now I want to seal.
39:07
Speaker 2: A look at the polar bears.
39:10
Speaker 1: You really did not need to?
39:14
Speaker 2: Yeah? Probably? Yeah. Can you get another six months extension
39:18
Speaker 2: on your board?
39:19
Speaker 1: Board Eagles six streams? Yeah? See, I don't need this
39:24
Speaker 1: in my ah.
39:25
Speaker 3: Okay, oh there's a month feeding little eagles. Rather turn
39:31
Speaker 3: that off because that's noisy. Yeah all right, well that's
39:35
Speaker 3: that's just fucked up my afternoon.
39:37
Speaker 1: There goes my productivity out the window. It's been real
39:42
Speaker 1: cook Thanks listeners. By the way, Feb three, next Monday,
39:47
Speaker 1: we're almost there. It's Thursday. As we're recording. This Monday night,
39:51
Speaker 1: our new mentoring program gets underway. Get the fuck on board.
39:56
Speaker 1: Thanks TIV, Thanks helps