Latest / Sober Talk SA / Sober Talk SA - Davo
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to Sober Talk. I'm Dennis and I'm an alcoholic.
- 0:04Soap to dear thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous.
- 0:08If you or anyone you know is struggling with alcohol, please
- 0:11call Alcoholics Anonymous on 1300 double 22222.
- 0:17I'll visit their website ata.org dot AU.
- 0:24I'll just run through the preamble of Alcoholics
- 0:27Anonymous. Alcoholics Anonymous is a
- 0:29fellowship of people who share the experience, strengthen hope
- 0:33with each other that they may solve their common problems, and
- 0:37help with us to recover from alcoholism.
- 0:40The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop
- 0:43drinking and no dues of fees. Fair membership.
- 0:46We are self supporting through our own contributions.
- 0:50He is not alive with any sect in immersion politics, organization
- 0:55or institution, Does not wish to engage in any controversy,
- 1:00either endorses or oppose any causes.
- 1:03Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other Alcoholics.
- 1:07Are chief sobriety good? Friends, my name's David.
- 1:10I'm an alcoholic. And then nothing like short
- 1:14motors. Looking for Finn, has it turned
- 1:16up? So I just have to put up with me
- 1:18for the next 30 minutes or so, just checking my heart rate.
- 1:21That's where you are it's pretty nervous it's OK to get nervous.
- 1:26I'm an alcoholic Did I say that I got a Home group It's prompted
- 1:28the beginners very grateful. I've got a service role within
- 1:31that group and I had a sponsor today just catch and base my
- 1:35sponsor then and I like what he says.
- 1:38What comes from the heart touches the heart is a beautiful
- 1:40man and the best. I believe all Alcoholics, once
- 1:45they reach the rooms of Alcoholics and also have hope
- 1:49will no longer hopeless. And you know, I I've never
- 1:53knocked back an opportunity to grow in alcohol.
- 1:55It's anonymous. So my head wanted to say no, but
- 1:58my heart overruled. I believe that's some good
- 2:00sponsorship and from good people around me.
- 2:02And, you know, I don't know if I got opportunity to grow today,
- 2:05you know, I guess often was wouldn't we just share about
- 2:11what it's like what happened was like now hopefully, you know,
- 2:15I'll share what what that is tonight.
- 2:17And for you who don't, namely, well, I guess it gives you an
- 2:20opportunity to to know a little bit about me and take what you
- 2:23need to leave the rest. I look for all the differences
- 2:27and not the similarities when I arrive Apovox and honest.
- 2:32So I come with this wheels, you know, and speak confused child.
- 2:36Don't know whether it's alcoholic, but I know it was
- 2:38different when I was growing up. As I often say, I come into this
- 2:41world. I spun around three times and
- 2:43pushed off into life. Where do I go?
- 2:44What do I do, you know, looking for my father to give me that
- 2:47role model. They drank a lot.
- 2:49I don't know he's alcoholic, but he do I do this.
- 2:52I believe he died this disease when I stopped at 10:16 and I
- 2:56didn't ask that much. All I wondered I was just please
- 2:59show me how to protect myself when I go to school and I was
- 3:02getting bullied, you know, but I know he had he had his issues.
- 3:05I guess knowing as a 12 year old, you don't know what that
- 3:08is. But just walking off into life
- 3:11thinking what's what's wrong with me?
- 3:12You know, why can't I make friends, you know, moving
- 3:15schools four or five times. You know what, hard to make
- 3:17friends, but this for me the only way I could actually, I
- 3:22started making friends in life. So I found sport, you know, and
- 3:25I think at the age it was about it was 197576.
- 3:28So I was about 9 and there's three brothers.
- 3:33It was my younger brother and older brother and my youngest,
- 3:35my sister was here's your baby. Last three boys were sent off to
- 3:40a rocket boys home. My cousin was a was a nun and I
- 3:43guess nun put us in there for two years so she could sort out
- 3:46a life, you know, And once at that stage, we'd moved away from
- 3:49dad because he was our crutch as Alcoholics do have.
- 3:53And while we're there, she says you've got to play a sport.
- 3:56So she took us into the shooting and was always sporting there.
- 3:59And I picked up this hockey stick and I found my freedom in
- 4:02life walking over that red line, that pitch and I could play well
- 4:06and I could do really well at that.
- 4:07And people, you know, I appreciated that and I started
- 4:10to fit in and, and I did really well in life with that, you
- 4:13know, and it was like I was starting to, people started to
- 4:16like me. And that was a really different
- 4:17feeling because, you know, all I ever wanted in life was to be
- 4:20happy and have a few friends. But it was truly hard to find
- 4:23that. It was really hard to find that,
- 4:25you know, and when I guess it was life went on, you know,
- 4:28it's, it's common. I hear in, in the rooms that
- 4:30they all, you know, you get bullied at school, you get
- 4:33picked on you, you know, at times I, I didn't go to school,
- 4:36you know, I played sick and I went home.
- 4:39Now it's the next day and because I knew that I was I was
- 4:42going to get picked on and I didn't have a real lot of
- 4:44friends that it to sort of defend me and I was cool, but
- 4:48it's the way it was. You know, I guess I was the
- 4:50doormat for most of my life till I got into sobriety early into
- 4:55sobriety. I I just hated the world.
- 4:59You know, that's so pleased to be that's the reality of it.
- 5:02It's part of my journey. I, we never had much growing up,
- 5:07but that was OK because, you know, we, we guess we had a
- 5:11family where mum used to say, you know, was always people
- 5:13worse off than us. You know, you got clothes on
- 5:15your, on your back, you got food on the table, you got a roof
- 5:17over your head. And I guess the simplistic, my
- 5:20mum used to have really simplistic peers on life.
- 5:23You know, I grew up, thank God, my mum passed away, I think
- 5:27earlier last year in February. But I grew up with the models
- 5:29that I keep today, like, you know, use your manners, you
- 5:32know, always treat people like you want to be treated yourself,
- 5:35You know, didn't like the word hate.
- 5:38We didn't want to use the word hate, you know, and now I guess
- 5:41I don't really have that, that word in my life today.
- 5:44I don't really hate people, just probably at times I despise
- 5:47people, But I've got to look at myself when I'm seeing that in
- 5:49other people. I, my dad was a Baker and all I
- 5:54ever want to do since the age of 12 was cook.
- 5:57And those people that that know me in Alcoholics Anonymous know
- 6:00that food was pretty much so my passion.
- 6:03And that still is to a degree today.
- 6:04And I'll, I'm not in the industry anymore, but we're in
- 6:08that trade. But for a lot of times I've done
- 6:11a lot of service for Alcoholics and I'm especially in my early
- 6:13days up in Newcastle and NSW where I thought saver and I do a
- 6:17lot of rallies and at Morissette, Pete and Marissette.
- 6:20So got a lot of good bond memories of people that were
- 6:23early in my sobriety. I used to help out, said it was
- 6:26good because I could give back, you know, and it's, and it was
- 6:29nothing in return. I didn't expect any return.
- 6:31I just did that because, you know, alcohol probably, you
- 6:35know, probably took that off me for a long time.
- 6:37But definitely the only part of my career which I'll get to as
- 6:40part of my my story that, you know, as I grew up and went
- 6:44through high school, I did the stop and I continued to the
- 6:46bullying didn't wasn't as much earlier in my my later years.
- 6:49I started to slowly sort of stand up for myself a little
- 6:52bit. But time, you know, through
- 6:54adversity. It's it's you know, mum used to
- 6:57save me. It happens for a reason, But
- 6:58sometimes I used to question gold, even though I grew up as a
- 7:00Catholic or if you want to put a landing Catholic that I grew up,
- 7:05you know, knowing that God is everywhere and God doesn't do
- 7:08anything bad. And you know, I lost, I lost my
- 7:12brother at the age of 14, three days before his 8th birthday.
- 7:15And that was pretty horrific. And then three years later,
- 7:18almost three years later, I lose dad.
- 7:20So I guess that's just the hand I'm dealt with in life, you
- 7:23know, and have I really dealt with that?
- 7:25Probably not in total. I guess it's still that some of
- 7:29that stuff that some of that growth I still need to go
- 7:31through. And well, it's anonymous.
- 7:33It's it's, you know, it's not a Sprint and it's a bit of a
- 7:36marathon. But I've got to find that
- 7:38balancing between being procrastinating and action,
- 7:42somewhere in between, you know, wanting a balance in life.
- 7:45And I've just celebrated my 32nd birthday last last month.
- 7:49And it's like a reflection on that.
- 7:52It's, you know, the older members say you don't, you know,
- 7:55has always got to sign up. You know, I don't handle the
- 7:57answers. I'll never have all the answers.
- 8:00But if I need to, I can refer to that or my sponsor.
- 8:03And today, if I'm offered a sponsor, I'll say to people I'm
- 8:05sponsored because I won't sponsor anybody.
- 8:07Amazon Sponsored, you know, I need to have that some, I need
- 8:12to have that so I can go and ask my sponsor if I'd have all the
- 8:15answers, I'll ask him. And if he doesn't know, you'll
- 8:16ask his sponsor and so on. So that's been my journey as far
- 8:20as sponsorship. Haven't had a good track record
- 8:22with it. But the fact is I've been
- 8:24willing to and it took me a long time and sobriety to be able to
- 8:28sponsor anybody because I thought I wasn't good enough,
- 8:30you know, like how do I do it? That shows being the 1st 106 to
- 8:334 pages how to do that in our programme of Alcoholics service.
- 8:36The action plans and tweets about haven't done that.
- 8:38You know, I don't use the word perfect.
- 8:41It's not in my vocabulary. Perfection nearly killed me, you
- 8:44know, because if everyone growing up, you know, I was just
- 8:47well, such as just an angry person because I wanted
- 8:49everything to be right because they didn't have had much.
- 8:52I wanted everything, you know, because it was like, you know
- 8:54why they got and I haven't got it.
- 8:55So when I guess I try to be perfect in every way, but it
- 8:59just, it just doesn't work. You know, it took me a long time
- 9:01in my life to, to understand that it's, it's not about
- 9:04perfection and it tells me in the big book and how it works.
- 9:07So I was sitting in a meeting around 3 or 4 years in sobriety
- 9:10and spiritual perfection of the spiritual progress and the light
- 9:14come on my head thinking made over this, this try spiritual
- 9:18progress. It might work that way.
- 9:20You know what? And it does, but it's the
- 9:23perfection thing because I'm as good as I am today, you know,
- 9:25I'm, I try and be the best version of the day I am today.
- 9:28My sponsor tells me you're a good man with a good heart.
- 9:30She's trying to do the next right thing, you know, and, and
- 9:34I'll do that without I'm, I'm, I'm hard wired for that today,
- 9:38you know, I will do. I'll let Lilvy and I'll open the
- 9:41door. You know, it's stuff I don't
- 9:43think about doing. I do it because, you know, I do
- 9:46it because I'm me, you know, and it's taken me a long time to
- 9:49become that person. You know, I'm kind, I'm a
- 9:51gentle, bit quirky, you know, but I guess they call it OCD.
- 9:56But anyway, it's, it is what it is.
- 9:58And, and I guess it's one of my partner, my girlfriend says,
- 10:01well, that's one of the things I like about you.
- 10:02But sometimes I think it's just, I'm getting a lot better than it
- 10:05used to be. You know, the $2.00 don't have
- 10:07to be straight, you know, the, the towels don't have to be
- 10:09straight, you know. Well, just these things that you
- 10:11have, you know, and it's like, and I'll get to my mileage.
- 10:16I had a military career as well. And it's weird still followed by
- 10:19socks like I did back in 985 when I joined a in military man.
- 10:22I still fold my socks all that I still folds.
- 10:25I had my shirts color coy. Color coy matters.
- 10:27You know, my kids hang that way and you know, my stuff with
- 10:30folder a certain way. And and I don't know if that's
- 10:33wrong or royal, that's crazy or not, but it's it is me.
- 10:36You know, I'm until I'm today. I don't have to be impress
- 10:39anybody else today. I just have to be me.
- 10:41I don't want to be anybody else, you know.
- 10:44But I grew up, Yeah, I grew up in Manly, NSW, I was born in
- 10:51Bega at NSW, so the town nicely made the cheese.
- 10:53But by I grew up there and I left there about 80 months old
- 10:57and I moved to a little town called Queen Dam, just out of
- 10:59not so big now in Canberra. And then I guess I sort of moved
- 11:03around a little bit, went up to the South Coast to Wollen,
- 11:05Golden Port, Camberley. So there's about 5 or 6
- 11:09different schools were moved to their memory and it was really
- 11:12hard to make friends, you know, and try to fit it again.
- 11:15And you just get comfortable there and you come home in the
- 11:17bags, a pack and man were moving.
- 11:20And I didn't, I was really confused, you know, like, but I
- 11:22guess it was thank God that come back to having the sport, which
- 11:26was I was, I played, you know, I played hockey for the school and
- 11:30I was representing hockey and I, I enjoyed it and it was my
- 11:33outlet. And I'd still believe today, you
- 11:35know, whatever. But I believe this alcoholic and
- 11:38other help box. I'll turn to IA is important.
- 11:41My program is important. The fellowship is important.
- 11:44I differentiate between the programme of Alcoholics
- 11:46Anonymous doing what I need to do and the fellowship.
- 11:49Was Jimmy learning to live out there, which Father Joe Martin
- 11:52used supposed to know? Father Joe Martin used to say I
- 11:54need to put these meetings, these steps of Alcoholics
- 11:57Anonymous in between meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous.
- 12:00But I can stand here and talk, to talk and walk the walk.
- 12:03And sadly I have done that. I've been very quite
- 12:06hypocritical in my ills and my sadness, in my sickness.
- 12:09I've done that. Thank God today I don't do that.
- 12:12But that's just part of my story.
- 12:14You know, I'm not up here to to paint it anything different,
- 12:17what it is. I have to tell it as it is, you
- 12:19know, and for this alcoholic, I didn't come again.
- 12:22I didn't get programmed straight away.
- 12:23I didn't take it. I didn't go to any vex.
- 12:25It took me a little while to get myself sorted in this program,
- 12:28you know, and rang my sponsor. Jack was my first sponsor in
- 12:32Newcastle and, and I rang him on my 20th birthday.
- 12:35And I can remember exactly where it was.
- 12:38It was outside the tub and I'm reading in Canberra across the
- 12:41road is in my car on a Wednesday night and I've rang Jeff and I
- 12:45said I'm 20 years sober today, sorry.
- 12:47I want to share my birthday with you.
- 12:50And we had a quick chat and I thought I've done the steps with
- 12:54him. We're going to step far.
- 12:56And so he said to me, he said I loved you unconditionally
- 13:01though, I said, but we didn't go through the steps and we didn't
- 13:03have a spiritual lightning. So I loved you back to life.
- 13:06I tried to tell you about four different ways but wasn't
- 13:08seeking him. But God, I loved you, you know,
- 13:10and and that was enough for me to continue on, you know, with
- 13:12my support. And now I haven't had a drink
- 13:14since my first meeting. Have I been insane?
- 13:17Yeah. There's plenty of insanity in
- 13:18there. That's all.
- 13:19I checked out on that. I pressed pause on my sobriety.
- 13:22And I stepped out, not because I wanted to, because I stopped
- 13:25doing that. And I'll become an untreated
- 13:26alcoholic, you know, that's that's the scariest, loneliest
- 13:30place in my life. But I've been here.
- 13:32It's like somebody's put a syringe at me and sucked life
- 13:35out of me, you know, And I had to fast track it because I
- 13:38didn't think I'd get half an hour in.
- 13:40But 22 was it. Yeah, Yeah.
- 13:42So I don't know. It's yeah, somebody sucked a
- 13:45light out of me and I talked to my doctor today and I, I talked
- 13:52about, well, my ex ex wife's parents, but talk about, you
- 13:56know, about being diabetic 'cause I'm a diabetic as well.
- 13:58And I didn't sign up for that, but I got that, which is good.
- 14:01So it helps me manage more disease today.
- 14:04So I guess my life as I rest in life.
- 14:06At the age of 18, as I said, I wanted to cook, so I didn't use
- 14:09in two months. I joined the Air Force February
- 14:1185, ninth of February 85. I took both in Sydney and come
- 14:16to Adelaide, did my recruit training and when I did my cooks
- 14:19training in Wagga and NSW and the next 21 1/2 years or super
- 14:23country and proud of the fact I've done that.
- 14:26There's a lot of humility in that.
- 14:28And the fact is that the first three years and three months
- 14:32into my career, I drank and I, I wanted to drink the first time
- 14:38in my life when I drank, I drank a little bit for joining, I
- 14:41think. I don't know when my first drink
- 14:43was 819. Whatever Dad used to give him
- 14:45the shady Vegemite glasses, you know, Vegemite glasses you're
- 14:48old enough to remember used to scrape the label off, you know,
- 14:51different sized Vegemite glasses.
- 14:53So I started off in a little one and there's just a shady and
- 14:55whatever. And I guess that come along.
- 14:57And that was all that off because dad had come home drunk
- 15:00and we'd have to be in bed and bath if also do 3 because the
- 15:03right and the road will come on. And anyway, I, my stepfather,
- 15:07come to my wife at the age of 15 and you know, a couple of years
- 15:10of drinking in a small country town.
- 15:12And then I joined the Air Force at the age of 18 and I went to
- 15:15my recruit training and that's where I guess I got all this
- 15:18money. And to me, I started drinking
- 15:21and I was pretty much a three pot screamer.
- 15:24Didn't take you much to get drunk.
- 15:26But I started getting having friends and I start people
- 15:28started talking about me and started including me in their
- 15:31conversation and their life. And it's probably the things I'm
- 15:33not really proud about. You know, it's obviously that's
- 15:38all through my medical records, the fact that I was, I was drunk
- 15:41and disgraced in my uniform and the oath I took.
- 15:43But I guess I repaid that for the last 18 half years, 18 odd
- 15:48years of my, my military career where I, you know, I got to got
- 15:52to serve my country and I got to go some highlights of my career
- 15:56with I got gained 2 promotions and I got out as a Sergeant.
- 15:59And well, I got to go to East Timor in, in upfront end of 99
- 16:03and peacekeeping. And that was that was a real eye
- 16:05opener because it was great to give back, you know, for less
- 16:08fortunate when we went over there and we did peacekeeping
- 16:10for probably 2 1/2 to three months, I think it was, and it
- 16:14was good. So it maybe reflect on the
- 16:16gratitude of what I've got, you know, and what less fortunate
- 16:20people are in the world, you know, And the fact is it was
- 16:24that was in 90 nine, 2005, I went to the Middle East and
- 16:27served over there as well. And that wasn't, wasn't so
- 16:29pleasant that got a commendation for that.
- 16:32And because we were in their first, first, the first period
- 16:36of the year, so it was from January to January to, to May.
- 16:39So I got stumped with all the, all the functions that straight
- 16:43out that Anzac Day had to do a dining in night, which is a
- 16:46formal, which is a formal dinner for their military.
- 16:49So we have to cater for that as well.
- 16:51And, and it was good and we had to sort of work with the
- 16:55Canadians, the Canadian Forces were working with the Aussies
- 16:58before everybody laying kitchen built.
- 16:59So, and I've been, I've been going through some DVI stuff,
- 17:04you know, and PTSD and not so much PTSD and mental health just
- 17:07lately. And the point I'm trying to get
- 17:10to is that psychiatrist, psychologist and the doctors
- 17:13have been talking a lot about before I joined, during my
- 17:16service and after. And the things that I've
- 17:18forgotten about. Like, you know, there was a
- 17:21situation in the Middle East where for the nearly nearly four
- 17:24months that I was there, like, you know, I was pretty much
- 17:27bullied, you know, like, like this.
- 17:29It was like abuse of power this far.
- 17:30I said, anyway, what I'm trying to get at is that was in my
- 17:33subconscious and I got it was even there like, and I was
- 17:37talking through it with a psychologist and I was almost in
- 17:39tears, you know, But it's nice to rename that because they're
- 17:41the things that I need to work on today because that, you know,
- 17:45that will bring me undone as far as how I approach life.
- 17:49So, so I guess I've got to be open to anything that's going to
- 17:52going to allow me to release that.
- 17:54I've had a lot of mates, not a lot of mates.
- 17:56I've had mates that have that taken their lives because of
- 18:00that sort of stuff, you know, even though mine's not to that
- 18:02great level. But I know today that the, the
- 18:06four inches, my head is probably the worst place I can ever be,
- 18:10you know, locked up in, in a jail of sorts because it's, it
- 18:14brings on that anxiety and that depression in the last probably
- 18:172 years, why anxiety is increased for some reason or
- 18:20not. And that's what I'm working on
- 18:21at the moment. I don't know where it's come
- 18:22from. So I need to, need to actually,
- 18:25and it will tell me I don't need to do things.
- 18:27It'll tell me it will go against my better judgement.
- 18:31It affects my whole life. It affects my work life.
- 18:33Sometimes it'll, it'll fix the meetings I go to.
- 18:36I'll sort of like, I'll get into that stage where I just like
- 18:40maybe must have talked to him. And that just is my head.
- 18:42It's not the people. It's like we'll just go, you
- 18:45know, I'll just for me, the easiest way for me to deal with
- 18:47like is I ran, I did with all my relationships and you know, the
- 18:51current late 1 on it was your 3 up to the 3 1/2 years ago.
- 18:56And I'm you know, and, and it's for me now about learning how to
- 19:00be an adult in a relationship at the age of 58 in the 59 is like
- 19:05very foreign to me. But but I'm willing to work on
- 19:08it. I'm willing to get better.
- 19:09There is some growth there. It's taking a bit of time, but I
- 19:12just like things, simple things that people take for granted,
- 19:14like a hard conversation because I don't want to upset people
- 19:16like because we never did that growing up.
- 19:18Like you didn't raise your voice, you didn't bring
- 19:20something up because something would happen.
- 19:22But and the confidence in doing that and not being not being
- 19:25judged either, Like, and I'm not judged.
- 19:28It's just this is, it's judging me, You know, it's I've never
- 19:31thought about really a drink, you know, and I don't know why
- 19:35things happen like that, but I wake up this morning and I was
- 19:38just because my shirt was so soaking wet and I woken up and
- 19:44this doesn't happen for about 3 years, but I had a drinking
- 19:46drink and I had two coins and I was sitting there in the bar
- 19:49because I could imagine, I could just see it like why don't know
- 19:51why I had that dream when I woke up and I thought I'd busted so
- 19:55real, like I could taste the beer.
- 19:57Why that happens. I don't marry, but I don't need
- 20:00to talk about that. So and it was, it was warned and
- 20:03early. So probably this might happen.
- 20:05My subconscious, maybe it's the disease kicking in, maybe
- 20:07there's something I need to work on.
- 20:09There is not the fact I want to go out and drink, but also life,
- 20:12you know? So like it's set up in bed and
- 20:14it's like, what happened? What's going on, You know?
- 20:17I mean, it's like a little reel went off and they hit me, drank,
- 20:21I had two drinks. And I guess part of me in that
- 20:24scenario I vaguely remember was like, do I keep drinking out?
- 20:27Do I go back to AI? That's the weird stuff.
- 20:29So if I get off track of this mate can go that way, you know,
- 20:33if I'm 37 days, these seven months, these are weeks, these
- 20:36are news. I'm not immune from that, that
- 20:38diggy hair, positive thinking. I mean, you know, and I take the
- 20:42advice that I often talk to newcomers about I need to have
- 20:46that mental, mental defense against first drink.
- 20:49So, you know, I think it's the doctor's opinion talks about
- 20:51phenomenal creating. And the last time we did it was
- 20:54my sponsor. They said he's kicking in like I
- 20:57counted him this time. I think it's six times and he
- 20:59mentions that. So Google, well, W said that the
- 21:02code the founders code gamers once to me or for us that read
- 21:05it. He's not just saying it once.
- 21:07He's making it clear that it's a phenomenal craving.
- 21:10You know, it's before I drink it.
- 21:12I'm thinking about anything like it's the thought followed by the
- 21:15mental followed by the physical. You know, I'm diabetic.
- 21:19I don't I'm not really supposed to eat stuff I'm not supposed to
- 21:21eat. But if I think about a pack of
- 21:22marshmallows and I don't get rid of that thought before, I know
- 21:25I'm in a shopping hall and I've got 2 packs and nice mailbox,
- 21:27you know, Victor opened a meeting on the way to the car,
- 21:29you know, it's. So I guess it's just the whole
- 21:31point of trying to get that thought process across, you
- 21:34know. And with all that said and done,
- 21:37I'm not doing too bad today. I'm a pretty good bloke.
- 21:40Just asked me, I'll tell you that funny story around that.
- 21:44I did, I did first sponsor Jeff. He had a stroke about 11 years
- 21:47ago. I think every year he sends me a
- 21:49message on 6th of June. You'll sing it or you'll write
- 21:52it, you'll send a GIF some spiritual thing you said happy
- 21:55birthday, David, you're a miracle.
- 21:56Another years past, you know, and I believe every day we we
- 21:59have sobriety is a miracle. And every day the weekend, the
- 22:03drink or a drug of choice that we don't have that, you know,
- 22:05we'll be walking miracles, you know, and also like, Oh yeah,
- 22:09well, miracles. But go ahead.
- 22:10Maybe I'm a miracle. No good on you.
- 22:13And so putting myself and I'm like always putting myself last,
- 22:18but I'm learning slowly to put myself first because.
- 22:23And the other thing that the father, Joe Martin used to talk
- 22:24about in the chalk talk when I was in rehab was that he said
- 22:27that. He said the chalk, chalk, chalk
- 22:29board. He said if Alcoholics do not
- 22:31love themselves, they cannot love anybody else, you know?
- 22:33And the thought come in my head, that was my dad in his heart of
- 22:36hearts. He couldn't want to love me or
- 22:38love us as a family because he didn't love himself.
- 22:40He couldn't love anybody else, you know, And thank God I loved
- 22:43myself today. You know, it's the other thing
- 22:46Jeff used to say to me. I'll finish on this about two
- 22:49minutes. Used to say, yeah, it's it's
- 22:51funny. It's not funny.
- 22:52It's funny good. A lot of the old sober members
- 22:54used to say to me earlier sobriety, you know, I'm Tichy
- 22:56from the civic group in in Newcastle.
- 22:59It's really old school. He'd say, you know, when you're
- 23:02sitting at home can actually like get you sober, you know,
- 23:04get in there and get get sobriety and I get to meetings.
- 23:08You know, when Lenny used to say to me, like Lenny from Stockton
- 23:10used to say, used to call me a wing command and he'd say like
- 23:13tree like a blanket wrap around him.
- 23:15Kick in here. You know I'll walk into a
- 23:16meeting and I'll be something you said what's wrong?
- 23:19They don't they know see Infinity of 1A high to another.
- 23:22They know there's something wrong.
- 23:23He'd say and I know what you're there to do and you give me a
- 23:25kick in the asses. They go off and do it.
- 23:27You know, Jeff, Jeff, you say take the face of Chris a call me
- 23:30to out of your back pocket. You know, and don't crucify
- 23:34yourself. Get off get off across somebody
- 23:36else needs a wood buy yourself lunch take yourself to a movie
- 23:38big kind of day, though, and I and I guess I don't dig it.
- 23:42I don't remember those things all day often, you know, And I
- 23:44guess to me sharing that tonight, it's just a reminder
- 23:47that paid ever take a bit of your own advice at times, you
- 23:50know, So that's pretty much time.
- 23:53And I was very sure I'm not so nervous now.
- 23:56And I think the beautiful thing that my sponsor tells me is not
- 24:00come from the heart. That is the heart, you know, And
- 24:02it's just a wonderful program and we got to stick around.
- 24:05And the miracle. Yeah.
- 24:07Miracles. The best is yet to come, isn't
- 24:10it? I'll guess.
- 24:12Thank you. A A has more than two million
- 24:15recovering Alcoholics throughout the world.
- 24:18In Australia there are about 18,000 members.
- 24:23They meet in over 2000 local meetings spread around the
- 24:27country. Meetings range in size from a
- 24:30handful in some areas to hundreds or more in larger
- 24:35communities. And once again, if anyone you
- 24:38know is struggling with alcohol issues, please call Alcoholics
- 24:43announcing 1300 Double 00000 or visit their website on aa.org
- 24:50dot AU.