Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #321 I'll Do Better Tomorrow

Transcript

#321 I'll Do Better Tomorrow · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: once answers me out.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: But I also am so grateful for the face to
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: FaceTime that I have with those same people because it
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: helps me to see the whole picture and recognize that
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: they're just like me. Sometimes they get it right and
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: sometimes they completely screw up, and that's okay. And now
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: here's the stars of our show, my mom and dad.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Wohoo, you excited it's Friday.
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: No, I was anticipating your excitement.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: I was almost going to do it.
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: Really, something's happening this weekend that you must be that
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: excited about to see the week gone.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: I just really enjoy things slowing down as we get
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: to the weekend and spending time with our family. My
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: name's Justin here with Kylie where a husband and wife
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: podcast partnership. And we've got six kids between us, well,
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: six kids together, what do I mean?
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: We have six daughters, all ours.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: All ourse from the very beginning. And no, for those
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: of you who are wondering, we weren't trying for a boy, really,
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: well I wasn't, were you?
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: No?
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: We run a website called Happy Families dot com. Dot
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: a U and I've got six books that I've written
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: about raising happy families. Every Friday we talk about how
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: we can do better tomorrow, the idea that parenting should
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: be something that's intentional, and as we become better.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: People, we raise better kids.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: And even if we don't, we still become better people
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: in the process of raising the challenging kids that we've got.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Before we talk about it, I'll do better Tomorrow stories
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: for this week, though, I just want to do a
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: shout out to Hamish Blake. I mean, he doesn't know
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: that I exist one of the most popular humans in
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: the country. But Hamish a couple of weeks ago did
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: his latest birthday cake extravaganza.
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: Have you seen what he does?
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: So?
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Did I actually show it to you on Instagram?
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: You did not.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: So Hamish Blake made a commitment to his little kids,
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: and they are very young.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Oh, I know the commitment he's made, but I haven't
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: seen his latest creation.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Right, So for those of you who are not familiar,
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: he's made a commitment to his kids that he's going
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: to make them whatever birthday cake they want for them
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: the birthday. So the night before their birthday, he stays
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: up until whatever time it takes to get the cake.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: He must be a closet baker. I mean, let's face it,
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: no dad is ever going to agree to this if
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: they don't have some kind of interest or skill factor.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: I mean, this is serious. Yea. Cakes he's making are intense.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: He's got mechanisms going on something.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: I mean he actually, for the latest one, he bought
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: the the inside of the cake and he just did
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: all the outside stuff. But we're talking about it was
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: supposed to be a It was supposed to be a unicorn,
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: and it turned.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Into what he called a unid donkey.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: Anyway, I've got some We've got some audio from what
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: he was doing, because he drinks a bit of whiskey
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: while he's making these cakes. And the last one finished
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: at about three am.
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: His what happened.
• 2:41
  Speaker 5: I had a bit of a nap putting the kids
• 2:42
  Speaker 5: to bed, and I have accidentally had a martini before
• 2:45
  Speaker 5: doing this.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: We're going get it.
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: Done, guys.
• 2:48
  Speaker 5: When you're making a unicorn cake, like a lot of
• 2:51
  Speaker 5: the baking is about trade offs, like is the heck
• 2:53
  Speaker 5: going to be too big with the horn? Like to
• 2:56
  Speaker 5: have a delicious Tasmanian whiskey of George CLIs to heal. Okay,
• 3:01
  Speaker 5: in all seriousness, I bout myself on marshmallow yellow hands.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: I'm really going to get down to it. I'ppably been
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: making around a little bit. That's all right, we're having fun.
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: It's me again and Uni, Hey, if you need to
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: have an early night, this is not going to be
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: an early one. I'm not panicking, but I'm realizing that
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: now three o'clock, I got to just get the wings
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: on with a donkey. We're doing a una donkey and
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: the donkey takes flight.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: So anyway, I was thinking about this great story.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: About how he does this for his kids, stays up late,
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: gets himself far too drunk, and makes these incredible creations,
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: and what a great tradition it is, and how fantastic
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: the stories are and just the whole narrative around it.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: The kids are kind of too little to appreciate it now,
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: but I think as they get old, this is going
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: to become a really special thing that the whole family
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: can enjoy. And I was thinking, for just a moment
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: as I was watching the footage.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: Gee, I'm a bad dad.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Like there's that whole parent shaming parent comparison thing that happens,
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: And then I gave myself a quick uppercut and I
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: was like, really, are you going.
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: To to base your life on somebody else's show? Real, honey?
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, kinda, But this is what happens all the time
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: on Facebook and Instagram and TikTok and whatever else people
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: are using. And it was just a reminder that we
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: can all fall prey to it, and instead of using
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: it as a source of comparison, we need to stop
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: valuing ourselves in comparison to others and just use it
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: for inspiration. Like I'm not going to start cooking a
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: cake for our six daughters or for you until all
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: hours of the night. That's not my thing. But we've
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: all got something that we do with our kids. We've
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: got something that you did.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: You only did it once, but you did cut a
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: hundred hearts out for me one.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: Day, that's right out of paper. Yeah yeah, and wrote
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: a hundred things that I loved about you.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: Well, it wasn't a hundred you wrote. You cut a
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: hundred overlaid them, that's right, But you wrote fifty things
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: about me, which was It's still my favorite gift.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Do you know how long it took to cut out
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: one hundred and I know how long it took.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: Wow, it probably took you twice as long as it
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: would have taken me, but I know how long it
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: would take me. And it's a long, long labor of
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: love anyway.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: Shout out to Hamish Blake, not for the comparison and
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: feelings of not being enough that I experienced for thirty seconds, but.
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: For the inspiration to be a better dad.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: Just brilliant, and I think we should see more dads
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: and mums on social media shouting out, hey, here's the
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: cool stuff I'm doing for my kids. Not so that
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: people can feel like they're not enough or feel shamed,
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: but so that we can be inspired to be better.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: What I love about social media is it allows me
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: to see bits and pieces of people's life that I
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: wouldn't normally see. But I also am so grateful for
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: the face to face time with that I have with
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: those same people because it helps me to see the
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: whole picture and recognize that they're just like me. Sometimes
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: they get it right and sometimes they completely screw up,
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: and that's okay.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Well, speaking of screwing up or getting it wrong, I'm
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: going to share my I'll do better tomorrow.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: Oh, you're looking at me like I screwed up.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: No, I saved you from I saved you, saved me.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: I was so glad you were. So I'll do better tomorrow.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: For those of you who are knew to a bit,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: I'll do better tomorrow.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: The point was that you share stories about your life,
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: not mine.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: Oh I am, it's about me because I came to
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: the rescue. I was the savior, you were a hero
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: of exactly. All right, well i'll let you glory come on.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: Actually, just before I do movie night last Friday night,
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: just a quick aside, I said to Emily, our seven
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: year old, Hey kid, we're gonna what are we going
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: to watch for video night tonight? And she looked at me,
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: straight faced and said, what's a video night?
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: No one?
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: What a video night is?
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: I can't believe you called it that.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: I don't last time.
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: We watched a video.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: She's actually lived in a world where there are no videos,
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: but I called it video night anyway.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: So what happened to family movie night?
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: I'll do better tomorrow.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: A few nights ago, Emily was starting to absolutely lose it,
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: and I could hear her big emotions cascading.
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: I was just just make it a point here. You
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: say that you heard it. She had been screaming for
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: a very long time before you came to the rescue.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Well, I had just left the office, walked into the
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: house and heard this screaming, and I'm like, oh, this
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: sounds terrible. And initially I was like, I've got to
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: get up there and fix it. And then I remembered
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: all the stuff that I teach people, and sometimes I
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: have to actually remember the stuff that I teach people
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: because in the moment, the big emotions can still take over.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: And when I heard that and I felt that I
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: remember this, I remember this.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Feeling that came over my entire body.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: It started at my face, and I softened my eyes
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: and my face, and I just had this compassion for
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: a little seven year old that was struggling, and my
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: heart started to completely melt. And I ran up the
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: stairs just in time to see you with your arm
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: around her, shepherding her into her bedroom where you were
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: going to leave her to kind of get over herself,
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: and you look like you kind of had enough, and
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: it's ramped. I said, I'll look after it. I'll look
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: after it. I've got this and you kind of looked
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: at me.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Like whatever, because you were kind of I'm done.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: And she laid on the bed and she just screamed,
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: and I just had this hole, Oh, my precious.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Girl, you're so upset, like that was what I was feeling,
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: and I somehow I needed to communicate that to her.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: And she screamed for about thirty seconds, and I said,
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: I just want to hug you, but if you don't
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: want to be near you, I'll leave and you can
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: come and get a hug when you're ready. And I
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: just gently said, would you like me to hug you?
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: And she looked at me and said yes, and then
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: she just started crying and she snuggled into me.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: We had this great, big hug, and two minutes later
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: the tantrum was completely over and.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: She bounced out. She literally skipped out into the kitchen,
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: came and gave me a big hug and said, and
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I just love you so much and it's
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: the end of it.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: I was like, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, So I
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: just I want to share that too as a reminder
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: for me and for you, but for every parent who's
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: listening that if we can get our heart right, and
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: if we can get our face right as well, and
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: if we just gently say those things like you're really
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: upset and I'm here, do you want to hug or
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: would you like to have some time alone? And I'll
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: come back and hug you when you're ready, It softens them.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: They know that they're safe, they know that they're not
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: in trouble, and then we can work the other stuff
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: out later.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: And I just went boom, that was a really big win.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: But there was actually a follow on when from that?
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: What that I don't know about?
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: That you don't know about?
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: Okay, fill me in. That's right.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: So the next morning, Emily came in for her morning huggies.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: You'd already gotten up, so it was just me in
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: bed and she snuggled in and we had a little
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: cuddle and I said, Emily, I said, the last few
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: days we've been dealing with some really big emotions. I said,
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: we're having them in the morning before you go to school,
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: and it's been really hard to get you ready for school.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: And I said, and then last night we had another
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: really big meltdown and I said, and mummy's really struggling
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: with it right now. And she said, I know. I
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: need to get my emotions under checks. That's exactly what
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: she said. I need to get my emotions under check.
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: And I said, what are we going to do about it?
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: She said, well, I need to take some deep breaths.
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: When I take deep breaths, it helps me. And I
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: said yep. And she said, and I also need to
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: have happy thoughts. When I think happy thoughts, I don't
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: get angry. And I went, wow, that's awesome. I said,
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: how do you think we're going to go today? And
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: she said, We're going to have a much better day today.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: So she got up and she just got ready and
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: got everything done with ample time. And it was the
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: first time for the whole week that we actually met
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: at to school on time. Her teacher even messaged me
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: to say, I don't know what happened, but Emily showed
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: up today early with a big smile on her face
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: and was ready for the day. It's just amazing how
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: simple efforts as parents to get our hearts in the
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: right place actually has such huge impact in our children's
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: lives as they try to navigate their own emotions.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just thinking about the power of connection as well,
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: I said all the time, just like dollar's the currency
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: of our economy. Connection is the currency of our relationships.
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: He in just a sec we're going to find out
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: about your I'll do better tomorrow, And based on what
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: I know about it, my guess is that we might
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: get some hate mail over this one.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: Don't say that it's coming up next.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast.
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: For a happier family, Try a Happy Families membership, because
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: a happy family doesn't just happen.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: Details at happy families dot com dot au. It's the
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time poor parent
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: who just wants answers now. And I'm not sure if
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: I'm going to share my experience after that intro.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: So here's the deal. I'll do better tomorrow.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: We want to find out what we've done well or
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: what we haven't done well, so that we can be
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: better moving forward. And you've told me what you're going
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: to share with this one, and I just want to
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: preface it. How are you going to respond if anyone
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: tells you that you've done the wrong thing? If we
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: get any feedback from people on social media or via email.
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: I'm done.
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: I'm done.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to come back.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: You can't quit Okay, so no hate mail all out that.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: We'll have to put that out there as a caveat straightaway.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: No hate mail allowed, or we can't tell these stories.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: All right, what did you do?
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: Oh? I'm being brave in sharing this because I recognize
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: that Number One, I don't condone the action.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: You did.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: The wrong thing is what you're saying.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: I didn't so do the wrong thing, but it could
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: be taken in that life, depending on the age of
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: the child.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Okay, all right, so knock us out. What did you do? Well?
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: One of our children. We've been struggling with her a
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: little bit lately. She's just been really, really prickly. That's
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: the best way to describe it. It's really hard to
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: get close to her, and at times it takes a
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: lot of effort to remind ourselves that she is an
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: absolutely beautiful child underneath all of that crazy difficult behavior.
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, for a couple of years now, I've been saying,
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: she's a good kid. She's a good kid. She's such
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: a good kid. But my goodness, sometimes she's challenging. But
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: she's a good kid anyway.
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: And we butt heads a lot. And the other day
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: I had asked her to put away her books that
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: were sitting on the couch before she went off to school,
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: or she didn't she left them, And when I finally
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: got to the lounde room to do the tiding up
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: for the morning, I realized it was actually her journal.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: And I was a little bit curious, because she's cranky
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: at me a lot, and I wondered whether or not
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: I might get some insights into what she was actually
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: feeling if I just read a few pages.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: All right, So we're going to put a Facebook post
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: up and we're going to ask the question, is it
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: ever okay? Is it ever okay to read your kids journal?
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: Because obviously that's what you've done.
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: I did. I did read her journal, And.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: No one's going to say anything about whether or not
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: you should have done it, or they're just going to
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: say whether or not it's okay.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: This is not about Kylie everyone. This is just about
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: asking the question in fairness. In finis, I know you
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: want to finish the story, But in firnis, if I
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: was packing away books and I found somebody's open journal,
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: I'd probably have a quick skim, depending on who it
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: was and how old they were and how much I
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: really wanted to know. But with an eleven year old, yeah,
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: I probably would. So eldest is twenty two, yeah, I
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: wouldn't read it.
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: I have only read our children's journals probably three times,
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: and each time it has been a similar situation. The
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: book's been lying out. I haven't gone looking for it, sure,
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: and there has been some struggle, And so whether it
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: has been I've just been really concerned about them as
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: a parent or whether or not we in our relationship
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: personal relationship has been struggling, and been wondering whether or
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: not it would give me some insights. So I opened
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: the book and I did read, and can I tell
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: you how much my heart melted when I read just
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: her beautiful insights. This is actually her gratitude journal, so
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: it's not her day to day journal. But the very
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: first thing that I read was an experience that I
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: had shared at the dinner table one night when we
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: were sharing our grateful things, and she shared that experience
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: in her own words and then just talked about what
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: a beautiful experience it was and what it taught her
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: about life in general, and what it taught her about me.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: And I was just blown away that, in spite of
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: all of the anks that goes on back and forth,
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: you know, from day to day in our lives, and
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: from time to time even me forgetting who she really
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: is deep down, that she could share such beautiful things,
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: and that got me wanting to read more, because I
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: just I loved what I.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Read, and so I did. I read three or four
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: of her.
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: Entries, and every single one of them was just filled
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: with absolute beauty and gratitude for the wonderful life that
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: she lives and for the family that she has, And
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: I was blown away because it gave me an insight
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: into her heart that I haven't actually as a parent,
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: seen not so much scene, but she has never articulated
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: it in such clarity.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it can be hard to see the beauty in
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: our kids because they're just so challenging, And it sounds
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: like in this case, this has been really a really
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: meaningful and important way for you to be able to
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: reframe how you see a kid who can really drive
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: us up the law.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: Sometimes.
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it literally has changed changed how I view her.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: Well.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: The take home message hug your kids, read their journals.
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying it's the right thing to do, definitely
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: not saying it's the right thing to do.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: We hope you have a wonderful weekend, that you get
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: to spend some high quality time with your kids, and
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: that it's intentional, and that the things that we've shared
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: with yes today will help you to do better.
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Tomorrow with your kids.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: The Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Rulan from
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Bridge Media, with Craig Bruce as our executive producer. If
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: you would like more information about how to make your
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: family happier, If you'd like more information about he can
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: get access to our world class, world leading Happy Families memberships.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: Find all the info you need at happy families dot
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: com dot a