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322. Your Mind Is Turning Patterns Into Predictions | Reality Transurfing · The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast

• 0:00
  Kathie (2): Two companies merge, and suddenly two people appear to have the same job.
• 0:06
  Kathie (2): Now imagine you are one of them.
• 0:09
  Kathie (2): You've spent years building your position.
• 0:12
  Kathie (2): You have earned trust.
• 0:13
  Kathie (2): You know the company.
• 0:14
  Kathie (2): You're good at what you do, and now there's another person sitting across the table with a title that looks a whole lot like yours.
• 0:24
  Kathie (2): Nobody has told you you're losing your job.
• 0:26
  Kathie (2): Nobody has told you only one position will survive.
• 0:29
  Kathie (2): Nobody has even told you that the two of you are competing, but your mind has already started doing the math.
• 0:36
  Kathie (2): There can't be two of us.
• 0:39
  Kathie (2): Then she gets invited to a meeting you weren't invited to attend.
• 0:43
  Kathie (2): You notice.
• 0:45
  Kathie (2): He gets copied on an email you didn't receive.
• 0:49
  Kathie (2): You notice.
• 0:50
  Kathie (2): The CEO asks for their opinion before yours.
• 0:54
  Kathie (2): Oh, you definitely notice that, and suddenly they're choosing her.
• 1:00
  Kathie (2): He's positioning himself,"I'm being pushed out." Except, do you actually know that, or did uncertainty just write the rest of the story for you?
• 1:12
  Kathie (2): That's exactly what we're talking about today.
• 1:17
  Kathie (2): Welcome to the Kathie Owen Perspective podcast.
• 1:20
  Kathie (2): My name is Kathie Owen.
• 1:22
  Kathie (2): I'm a consultant and the author of Human Patterns Under Pressure and The Truth Bubbles Up.
• 1:28
  Kathie (2): I study what happens to human behavior when pressure enters the room, especially during mergers, acquisitions, leadership transitions, and other moments when human behavior can quietly affect enterprise value.
• 1:44
  Kathie (2): And one of the most fascinating forms of pressure is uncertainty because when human beings don't know what's going to happen, we have an incredible ability to fill in the blank, sometimes accurately, sometimes not.
• 1:59
  Kathie (2): And lately, I've been paying very close attention to where observation ends and prediction begins.
• 2:09
  Kathie (2): Let's stay with those two executives for a minute because this is where human risk can start long before anybody makes an official decision.
• 2:19
  Kathie (2): One executive believes they're competing for the same position.
• 2:23
  Kathie (2): Maybe they are, and maybe they are not.
• 2:26
  Kathie (2): But once that person becomes convinced the competition is real, watch what can happen.
• 2:31
  Kathie (2): They start paying closer attention to the other executive.
• 2:34
  Kathie (2): Who gets invited to which meeting?
• 2:36
  Kathie (2): Whose opinion does leadership ask for?
• 2:38
  Kathie (2): Who gets copied on the important email?
• 2:41
  Kathie (2): Who gets more time with the CEO?
• 2:44
  Kathie (2): Who seems to have more influence?
• 2:46
  Kathie (2): And here's where it gets complicated.
• 2:48
  Kathie (2): Some of those observations might matter.
• 2:51
  Kathie (2): That's why we don't dismiss them.
• 2:54
  Kathie (2): But the meaning assigned to those observations may not be accurate.
• 2:59
  Kathie (2): And if I decide they are replacing me, my behavior can start changing before anyone has actually replaced me.
• 3:06
  Kathie (2): I protect information.
• 3:08
  Kathie (2): I become territorial.
• 3:10
  Kathie (2): I start proving my value.
• 3:11
  Kathie (2): Maybe I criticize the other person.
• 3:14
  Kathie (2): Maybe I withdraw.
• 3:15
  Kathie (2): Maybe I form alliances.
• 3:16
  Kathie (2): Maybe the other executive notices the shift in my behavior.
• 3:20
  Kathie (2): Now, their behavior changes, and suddenly we have two people responding to each other based, at least partly, on a future that hasn't happened.
• 3:30
  Kathie (2): Think about that.
• 3:32
  Kathie (2): The prediction itself can begin changing the environment.
• 3:35
  Kathie (2): That's where uncertainty stops being an uncomfortable feeling and starts becoming human risk.
• 3:43
  Kathie (2): We do this everywhere, and you don't need to be inside a merger to recognize this.
• 3:49
  Kathie (2): Someone new gets hired in your department.
• 3:51
  Kathie (2): Are they replacing me?
• 3:52
  Kathie (2): Another consultant submits a proposal.
• 3:55
  Kathie (2): They're probably going with them.
• 3:57
  Kathie (2): Someone you care about starts spending more time with somebody else.
• 4:00
  Kathie (2): Am I losing my place?
• 4:02
  Kathie (2): You walk into a meeting and someone who normally talks to you barely acknowledges you.
• 4:08
  Kathie (2): They're upset with me.
• 4:09
  Kathie (2): Are they?
• 4:11
  Kathie (2): Maybe.
• 4:12
  Kathie (2): But do you know?
• 4:13
  Kathie (2): That's different.
• 4:15
  Kathie (2): The threat of losing our position, our job, our influence, our relationship, our opportunity can make uncertainty feel very personal very quickly, and that's when the mind starts looking for evidence.
• 4:29
  Kathie (2): This is particularly interesting for me because I have very high pattern recognition.
• 4:36
  Kathie (2): It's a big part of the work I do.
• 4:38
  Kathie (2): I notice repetition.
• 4:39
  Kathie (2): I notice subtle changes in behavior.
• 4:41
  Kathie (2): I notice inconsistencies.
• 4:43
  Kathie (2): I notice what changes when pressure enters the room, and I trust that ability.
• 4:49
  Kathie (2): But I have become much more disciplined about its limits.
• 4:55
  Kathie (2): Because pattern recognition can tell me this has happened before.
• 4:59
  Kathie (2): It can tell me this person tends to respond this way under these conditions.
• 5:04
  Kathie (2): It can even give me enough information to form a hypothesis about what might happen next.
• 5:11
  Kathie (2): That's useful.
• 5:13
  Kathie (2): But a hypothesis is not certainty.
• 5:17
  Kathie (2): Pattern recognition tells me what I've observed.
• 5:19
  Kathie (2): A hypothesis gives me something to test.
• 5:23
  Kathie (2): Certainty says I already know.
• 5:26
  Kathie (2): Those are three different things, and under pressure, we can move from one to the next incredibly fast.
• 5:34
  Kathie (2): Observation: she has been included in three meetings I was not in.
• 5:39
  Kathie (2): Interpretation: leadership is giving her more influence.
• 5:43
  Kathie (2): Prediction: they're gonna choose her over me, and eventually, I know exactly what's going to happen.
• 5:50
  Kathie (2): Nope.
• 5:51
  Kathie (2): You might have a very good hypothesis.
• 5:53
  Kathie (2): You may even turn out to be right, but right now, you don't know.
• 5:59
  Kathie (2): That's where the pause becomes powerful.
• 6:02
  Kathie (2): I talk about the pause a lot, and the pause is not passive.
• 6:06
  Kathie (2): It isn't pretending you don't see something, and it is not ignoring your intuition.
• 6:12
  Kathie (2): It is not telling yourself everything is wonderful.
• 6:14
  Kathie (2): The pause gives you enough room to ask,"What do I actually know?
• 6:19
  Kathie (2): What did I observe?
• 6:20
  Kathie (2): What meaning did I add?
• 6:22
  Kathie (2): And what am I now predicting?" Sometimes those answers line up, sometimes they don't, and sometimes the most intelligent thing I can say is,"I don't have enough information yet." That doesn't make me clueless.
• 6:38
  Kathie (2): It makes me accurate.
• 6:41
  Kathie (2): Entrepreneurship will teach you this very fast.
• 6:44
  Kathie (2): I know this one personally.
• 6:46
  Kathie (2): Entrepreneurship is filled with uncertainty.
• 6:49
  Kathie (2): You have a great conversation with a potential client, they sound interested, you send something over, and then nothing.
• 6:58
  Kathie (2): A few days pass, what do you know?
• 7:00
  Kathie (2): They haven't responded.
• 7:02
  Kathie (2): That's it.
• 7:03
  Kathie (2): But watch what the mind can build from there.
• 7:06
  Kathie (2): "My price was too high.
• 7:07
  Kathie (2): I talked too much.
• 7:08
  Kathie (2): They didn't understand the value.
• 7:10
  Kathie (2): They're talking to somebody else." And if you're already feeling uncertain about money, now the story can get much bigger.
• 7:18
  Kathie (2): "Nothing is working.
• 7:19
  Kathie (2): Where is the next client coming from?
• 7:21
  Kathie (2): What am I gonna do next month?
• 7:23
  Kathie (2): Maybe this whole thing is not working." Wait.
• 7:26
  Kathie (2): Wait, wait, wait.
• 7:27
  Kathie (2): We went from one person hasn't responded to my entire business may be in trouble.
• 7:34
  Kathie (2): I have done it.
• 7:35
  Kathie (2): I know exactly how seductive that thought process can be, and I've learned that I don't need to counter it with another prediction.
• 7:44
  Kathie (2): I don't need to say,"They're definitely gonna hire me.
• 7:47
  Kathie (2): Something better is definitely coming.
• 7:49
  Kathie (2): Everything is gonna work out exactly the way I want," because I don't know that either.
• 7:54
  Kathie (2): Positive certainty is still certainty.
• 7:58
  Kathie (2): I can know what I want, I can have a vision, I can take the next responsible action, and I can leave room for information I don't have yet.
• 8:07
  Kathie (2): This is one of the reasons reality transurfing has become so useful in the way I think about uncertainty.
• 8:13
  Kathie (2): Vadim Zeland talks about the space of variations.
• 8:18
  Kathie (2): There are possibilities we cannot necessarily see from where we are standing right now, but when uncertainty becomes uncomfortable, the mind wants to collapse those possibilities.
• 8:29
  Kathie (2): It wants an answer, so it picks one.
• 8:32
  Kathie (2): "I'm losing the position.
• 8:33
  Kathie (2): My client isn't hiring me.
• 8:35
  Kathie (2): They're angry with me.
• 8:37
  Kathie (2): This isn't going to work." And once we've selected that version, we can start emotionally responding to it as though it's already reality.
• 8:47
  Kathie (2): This is where I think about another reality transurfing concept I haven't talked about in a little while, and that is pendulums.
• 8:55
  Kathie (2): You know when something has hooked you.
• 8:57
  Kathie (2): You keep thinking about it.
• 8:58
  Kathie (2): You replay conversations.
• 9:00
  Kathie (2): You check your phone.
• 9:01
  Kathie (2): You look for clues.
• 9:03
  Kathie (2): You mentally defend yourself.
• 9:04
  Kathie (2): You prepare arguments for conversations that have not happened.
• 9:08
  Kathie (2): You imagine what somebody is going to say, and then imagine what you're going to say back.
• 9:14
  Kathie (2): You start proving your case to people who aren't even in the room.
• 9:18
  Kathie (2): Your attention has been captured, and now you're feeding energy into a version of reality that may never happen.
• 9:27
  Kathie (2): So I had a very ordinary example of this just recently.
• 9:33
  Kathie (2): I was driving to an important meeting.
• 9:35
  Kathie (2): I had a leadership and consulting role there, and I needed to arrive early because I needed to introduce myself to the president and other officers and clarify what I would be doing during the meeting.
• 9:48
  Kathie (2): And punctuality matters to me.
• 9:50
  Kathie (2): Integrity matters to me.
• 9:51
  Kathie (2): So I planned ahead.
• 9:54
  Kathie (2): I gave myself enough time to arrive twenty or twenty-five minutes early.
• 10:00
  Kathie (2): Then there was a major accident.
• 10:03
  Kathie (2): The freeway practically stopped.
• 10:05
  Kathie (2): For about thirty minutes, we crawled, and I watched every minute of that extra time disappear.
• 10:12
  Kathie (2): I was uncomfortable, very uncomfortable.
• 10:18
  Kathie (2): At first, I'm going to be late.
• 10:22
  Kathie (2): Okay.
• 10:23
  Kathie (2): That was becoming increasingly likely.
• 10:26
  Kathie (2): But then my mind started adding things.
• 10:28
  Kathie (2): "This is gonna make me look unprofessional.
• 10:31
  Kathie (2): You needed to establish your role beforehand." That part was true.
• 10:35
  Kathie (2): Then,"This could affect your credibility." Whoa.
• 10:40
  Kathie (2): Do I know that?
• 10:41
  Kathie (2): No.
• 10:43
  Kathie (2): And that's when I could see what was happening.
• 10:45
  Kathie (2): I wasn't just sitting in traffic anymore.
• 10:48
  Kathie (2): I was mentally sitting inside a meeting that hadn't happened yet.
• 10:53
  Kathie (2): I was imagining what people might think of me.
• 10:56
  Kathie (2): I was imagining what my lateness might mean.
• 10:59
  Kathie (2): I was attaching my integrity to an outcome that was now completely outside of my control, and that's where the pause mattered.
• 11:08
  Kathie (2): So come back to what you know.
• 11:11
  Kathie (2): I had planned ahead.
• 11:12
  Kathie (2): I had allowed extra time.
• 11:14
  Kathie (2): I contacted the appropriate people and told them there had been an accident.
• 11:19
  Kathie (2): I could not clear the freeway.
• 11:21
  Kathie (2): I could not control traffic.
• 11:22
  Kathie (2): So what did I know?
• 11:25
  Kathie (2): There had been an accident.
• 11:26
  Kathie (2): Traffic was barely moving.
• 11:28
  Kathie (2): I was going to be late.
• 11:29
  Kathie (2): I had notified them.
• 11:31
  Kathie (2): That's reality.
• 11:32
  Kathie (2): Everything else had not happened yet, and this is where the space of variations becomes practical for me.
• 11:39
  Kathie (2): There were possibilities I couldn't see from where I was sitting.
• 11:42
  Kathie (2): I didn't have to select one and start emotionally living inside of it.
• 11:47
  Kathie (2): I could deal with what was actually in front of me and wait for more information.
• 11:53
  Kathie (2): Then I got there.
• 11:54
  Kathie (2): I arrived late.
• 11:56
  Kathie (2): Now I knew something else.
• 11:58
  Kathie (2): I was late, and because of that, I didn't get the conversation I had planned to have before the meeting.
• 12:05
  Kathie (2): Later, the president began introducing the others in the room, and she got to me, and I had to clarify my role.
• 12:12
  Kathie (2): I essentially said,"Technically, I'm not just a guest.
• 12:17
  Kathie (2): I am your consultant, and I need to speak after the meeting because I'll be reviewing what I observed." Was that uncomfortable for me?
• 12:25
  Kathie (2): A little.
• 12:26
  Kathie (2): Was it uncomfortable for her?
• 12:28
  Kathie (2): I don't know, and that's important because I could easily leave that meeting and say,"I embarrassed her." Did I?
• 12:36
  Kathie (2): I don't know.
• 12:38
  Kathie (2): She didn't like being corrected.
• 12:40
  Kathie (2): Do I know that?
• 12:41
  Kathie (2): No.
• 12:42
  Kathie (2): I can observe her behavior, I can form a hypothesis, but I cannot climb inside her mind and verify her internal experience.
• 12:51
  Kathie (2): What I know is I clarified my role, I stayed composed, I did what I was there to do, the meeting continued.
• 12:58
  Kathie (2): Reality gave me something completely manageable, and I dealt with it when it arrived.
• 13:05
  Kathie (2): So here is what I want you to notice this week.
• 13:09
  Kathie (2): When something feels uncertain, pay attention to the exact moment your mind starts writing the ending.
• 13:15
  Kathie (2): Not because predictions are bad.
• 13:17
  Kathie (2): We need predictions.
• 13:19
  Kathie (2): We make educated guesses constantly.
• 13:21
  Kathie (2): That's part of making good decisions.
• 13:23
  Kathie (2): But notice the difference between,"I think this may happen," and,"I know this is happening." Ask yourself, what have I observed?
• 13:33
  Kathie (2): What am I hypothetically coming up with?
• 13:36
  Kathie (2): And what have I promoted into certainty without realizing it?" Then notice whether a pendulum has hooked your attention.
• 13:45
  Kathie (2): Are you replaying it, defending yourself, proving something, competing with someone who may not even know there's a competition?
• 13:52
  Kathie (2): Living emotionally inside a conversation that has not happened, that's your opportunity to pause.
• 13:59
  Kathie (2): Not to force a positive outcome, not to deny what you're seeing, just to return to reality.
• 14:07
  Kathie (2): And this is where this gets even more interesting because there's another boundary to pattern recognition that I haven't talked about much People have said things to me essentially am- that amount to,"You can read people's minds." No, I cannot.
• 14:25
  Kathie (2): I can recognize patterns.
• 14:26
  Kathie (2): I can observe behavior.
• 14:28
  Kathie (2): I can notice tiny changes.
• 14:29
  Kathie (2): I can form a hypothesis, and sometimes that hypothesis may be very accurate.
• 14:35
  Kathie (2): But I cannot know with certainty what is happening inside another person's mind, and neither can you.
• 14:43
  Kathie (2): Yet human beings do this constantly.
• 14:46
  Kathie (2): "I know why she said that.
• 14:47
  Kathie (2): I know what he meant.
• 14:48
  Kathie (2): I know what they're trying to do." Do you?
• 14:51
  Kathie (2): Or did pattern recognition just come across the line into something else?
• 14:57
  Kathie (2): That's a conversation I think we need to have.
• 15:00
  Kathie (2): But before you go, go to the show notes and description below and click the link to the companion article for this episode.
• 15:08
  Kathie (2): I've put the episode, the video, and additional resources together there so you can take this idea further and see how it connects to the other concepts I've been exploring around uncertainty, the pause, reality transurfing, and human patterns under pressure.
• 15:26
  Kathie (2): Just click in the show notes and description below, and on YouTube I'll put it in the first comment so it's easy to find.
• 15:32
  Kathie (2): Then take this question with you.
• 15:35
  Kathie (2): Where in your life are you responding to a conclusion that reality hasn't actually confirmed?
• 15:42
  Kathie (2): Watch for it.
• 15:43
  Kathie (2): You might be surprised.
• 15:45
  Kathie (2): And the next time you catch yourself saying,"I know why they did that," remember that sentence, because I have a feeling that's where we're going next.
• 15:55
  Kathie (2): I'll see you in the next episode of the Kathie Owen Perspective podcast.
• 16:00
  Kathie (2): Thank you for being here.