Latest / Damaged Goods with Andrea Abbate / 9. Catholic School Stories with Sarah Rose Hyland

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9. Catholic School Stories with Sarah Rose Hyland · Damaged Goods with Andrea Abbate

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Well, I got busted for shoplifting when I was 16.
0:04
SPEAKER_01: Like we were all high.
0:04
SPEAKER_01: Like we're just high.
0:06
SPEAKER_01: You know, just smoking on the way there.
0:07
SPEAKER_01: It's called bacons.
0:09
SPEAKER_00: Bacons.
0:09
SPEAKER_00: Bacons.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: It's no longer there.
0:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
0:14
SPEAKER_04: Probably because of all the stuff you stole.
0:18
SPEAKER_05: Did you ever go and confess that in confession?
0:21
SPEAKER_05: No, bro.
0:22
SPEAKER_05: That was a good thing.
0:22
SPEAKER_05: Oh my god, you might still be going.
0:24
SPEAKER_02: This is the Damage Goods.
0:30
SPEAKER_05: Hey, welcome back to Damage Goods with Andrea Abbott, where we celebrate all the dense cracks and bad decisions we've made that helped us be who we are.
0:40
SPEAKER_05: And today, I'm so excited.
0:42
SPEAKER_05: First of all, I have two guests.
0:44
SPEAKER_05: I have a guest co-host.
0:46
SPEAKER_05: Whoever heard of that?
0:48
SPEAKER_05: This is Colin Parker, my dear friend, and darling, handsome, talented guy, writer, actor, comic, uh model.
1:02
SPEAKER_05: I think we can add modeling that to the yes.
1:04
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's it.
1:05
SPEAKER_05: That wasn't on the table.
1:06
SPEAKER_05: You're a quadruple threat.
1:08
SPEAKER_05: I mean a model.
1:10
SPEAKER_05: I mean, and now, but even without further ado, our real guest.
1:15
SPEAKER_03: Yep.
1:16
SPEAKER_03: Yep.
1:17
SPEAKER_05: The beautiful, talented, funny, and model-esque.
1:23
SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
1:23
SPEAKER_05: I'll take it.
1:24
SPEAKER_05: Sarah Rose Highland.
1:25
SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
1:26
SPEAKER_05: Yay!
1:27
SPEAKER_01: So exciting.
1:28
SPEAKER_01: We're all here.
1:29
SPEAKER_01: Wait, what are the youths saying?
1:30
SPEAKER_01: I'll receive that.
1:31
SPEAKER_05: Okay, yeah.
1:32
SPEAKER_05: Oh, that's a nice thing.
1:33
SPEAKER_03: We're in an abundant mindset here.
1:35
SPEAKER_05: We 100% are in abundance.
1:38
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:39
SPEAKER_05: That's what I love about the damage abundance.
1:41
SPEAKER_05: Damage.
1:42
SPEAKER_05: No, but Colin has that positive.
1:44
SPEAKER_05: He's a positive guy as opposed to bitter.
1:47
SPEAKER_05: Do you relate to positive more than bitter?
1:49
SPEAKER_01: Well, 1000%.
1:51
SPEAKER_01: I'm almost a little too too much.
1:53
SPEAKER_01: Too positive?
1:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:54
SPEAKER_01: I'm a little because I I'm from Kentucky.
1:57
SPEAKER_01: So I don't know.
1:58
SPEAKER_01: My mom was very like this too, where they used to call her Pollyanna.
2:01
SPEAKER_01: Like she was like real Polly.
2:03
SPEAKER_01: And so I I I that is not LA has not beaten it out of me at all.
2:06
SPEAKER_01: Like I've been here for so long, and I still see.
2:10
SPEAKER_01: I know it sounds even when I say it now, because now it's like that's toxic positivity.
2:14
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, am I toxic?
2:16
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no, no.
2:17
SPEAKER_01: But that I didn't think that until that phrase, I was like, Am I toxic?
2:20
SPEAKER_03: You know, but a toxic person.
2:23
SPEAKER_05: But you wake up every day excited.
2:25
SPEAKER_01: No, no, not like that.
2:26
SPEAKER_01: No, no.
2:27
SPEAKER_01: I'm still come on, I have grit, yeah, and I have a little edge.
2:30
SPEAKER_05: Please.
2:31
SPEAKER_05: No, oh, for sure.
2:32
SPEAKER_01: No, but like, as far as like I will always see the best in somebody before I'll see the worst.
2:37
SPEAKER_05: Oh, that's fantastic.
2:38
SPEAKER_01: Like, and I mean too.
2:39
SPEAKER_01: And I've been burned a hundred times.
2:41
SPEAKER_03: And you know what?
2:42
SPEAKER_03: You don't let that shit bother you.
2:44
SPEAKER_01: I kind of don't.
2:45
SPEAKER_01: I just keep and I wake up like it didn't happen.
2:48
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, yay! You know, but but I don't mind it.
2:51
SPEAKER_01: Like, whatever.
2:51
SPEAKER_01: If that's like the worst thing, like Yeah.
2:54
SPEAKER_05: Then how weird is it if that's the worst thing?
2:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I just get burnt.
2:57
SPEAKER_01: Like, whatever.
2:59
SPEAKER_05: I was gonna ask you what those burn scars were, but now you've told me no.
3:03
SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh, do I have to do that?
3:06
SPEAKER_03: Jennifer Anison talked about being burned a hundred thousand times, and she said the exact same thing.
3:12
SPEAKER_03: I refuse to let that change who I am.
3:15
SPEAKER_05: Exactly.
3:16
SPEAKER_03: It's not because then that is gonna make you jaded, and I'm not here for that.
3:20
SPEAKER_05: No.
3:20
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
3:21
SPEAKER_05: Well, that's the point of this podcast is to show that we're damaged, but we're not broken.
3:25
SPEAKER_05: We're still for sale, goddammit.
3:27
SPEAKER_03: The damage we're on the shelf.
3:28
SPEAKER_03: The damage part got us here.
3:30
SPEAKER_05: That's right.
3:30
SPEAKER_05: That's right.
3:31
SPEAKER_03: Okay, this is the best place to be.
3:33
SPEAKER_03: I'd rather be here with some sort of voice in the world than like sitting at home with my trauma.
3:38
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, jacking off at home with your trauma.
3:40
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I still do that.
3:41
SPEAKER_01: I know I was like, you can just jack through right through that.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's okay.
3:45
SPEAKER_01: I do.
3:46
SPEAKER_03: You know, especially now since the transformation, I have definitely been giving myself a few more minutes in the mirror that I didn't do before.
3:55
SPEAKER_05: Oh, okay.
3:56
SPEAKER_05: Very interesting.
3:57
SPEAKER_05: I'm glad everybody you jack off in the mirror.
4:01
SPEAKER_03: Sometimes.
4:01
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
4:02
SPEAKER_03: Do you?
4:02
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
4:03
SPEAKER_05: That's what I got.
4:04
SPEAKER_05: That's what I've never heard in my life damaged.
4:08
SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
4:09
SPEAKER_01: I've never heard that in my life.
4:10
SPEAKER_05: Went out with a really cool cop who used to do that.
4:14
SPEAKER_05: If you're and and one actor, yeah, yeah.
4:17
SPEAKER_05: If you think you're cute, okay, but the mirror's your friend.
4:20
SPEAKER_03: Can I say that for a long time?
4:23
SPEAKER_05: Look, look at that beautiful mirror right there.
4:24
SPEAKER_05: Sarah, go.
4:26
SPEAKER_01: The faces, I would laugh.
4:28
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, good I would just I would laugh too hard at myself.
4:31
SPEAKER_03: So long I didn't feel that way about myself.
4:33
SPEAKER_03: So now that's been a whole transformation, and I think that everyone should be jacking off to themselves in the mirror.
4:41
SPEAKER_05: Oh my god.
4:42
SPEAKER_05: I don't think I could do that now.
4:44
SPEAKER_05: But when you go out with guys, and I know you don't go out with guys, but the guys I've gone out with that are mirror boys, I would say, want you to wear high heels and stuff to be in the mirror too.
4:55
SPEAKER_05: Oh, everything's taking place with a mirror.
4:58
SPEAKER_01: Really?
4:59
SPEAKER_05: Yes, mirrors are the thing.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: I don't like mirrors above the bed, like that whole thing.
5:04
SPEAKER_01: All of that.
5:04
SPEAKER_05: But no, but like if they had mirror, you know, the people who have mirror closets.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
5:09
SPEAKER_05: It's all like we're we're situated so that we see what we're seeing in the mirror.
5:14
SPEAKER_03: Wait, so to see the sex act in the mirror.
5:19
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
5:20
SPEAKER_05: The sex act.
5:22
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I'm just saying it goes with the mirror.
5:24
SPEAKER_05: But wait, I want to say one thing before we get into sex in the mirror, which we already have.
5:28
SPEAKER_05: And maybe that's why his arms are so pumped up from jacking off in the mirror.
5:32
SPEAKER_05: That's what happens.
5:33
SPEAKER_03: And I use my left and my right just to like it's like a new person.
5:36
SPEAKER_03: It's like a new person.
5:38
SPEAKER_01: At the same time, or just taking turns?
5:40
SPEAKER_01: At the same time, they walked.
5:42
SPEAKER_01: They always like a machine gun.
5:46
SPEAKER_01: You're multi.
5:47
SPEAKER_02: What is that?
5:48
SPEAKER_01: You're a multi-eye fan.
5:49
SPEAKER_01: Amidextrous?
5:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's what that's.
5:51
SPEAKER_01: I know that's what's from the city.
5:51
SPEAKER_01: No, that's it.
5:52
SPEAKER_01: That's it.
5:53
SPEAKER_05: I was I was gonna go ambivalent, but it's but you know, I've had kids and uh they used they used to say, and I think they still do, I don't know, but when you're breastfeeding, you switch them up so your boobs, one doesn't grow more than the other.
6:09
SPEAKER_03: Really?
6:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
6:11
SPEAKER_03: So you have to wait, so you go from tit to tit.
6:14
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
6:14
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
6:14
SPEAKER_05: Like if you're going one time on this time, then the next time you go on this time, so you don't have them.
6:20
SPEAKER_03: So you could end up with one wobbly tit or like one larger areola or whatever.
6:26
SPEAKER_05: I don't know exactly what happens.
6:28
SPEAKER_05: I have fake boobs, nothing happened.
6:29
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I just breastfed plastic.
6:33
SPEAKER_05: No, but they were fine.
6:34
SPEAKER_05: But I don't know, but I just know that doctors said switch them.
6:37
SPEAKER_03: And you can like you can still breastfeed with fake tits.
6:41
SPEAKER_05: That's right.
6:41
SPEAKER_05: That's what I'm here to say, ladies.
6:42
SPEAKER_03: That is what we learn today.
6:44
SPEAKER_05: That is what we I will I've learned so much.
6:47
SPEAKER_01: Like I've said two words, and I'm like, this is amazing.
6:50
SPEAKER_05: Let me shut up.
6:50
SPEAKER_05: But it's yes, call it focus in on Sarah.
6:53
SPEAKER_01: No, not Sarah's here.
6:54
SPEAKER_01: I've learned so much about ears and everything.
6:57
SPEAKER_01: Now I want fake tits.
6:58
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, gimme.
6:59
SPEAKER_01: I want some.
7:00
SPEAKER_05: I've I've got the powder, and I also have some fake tits for you.
7:03
SPEAKER_01: I've there's so much as a woman that I've grown.
7:05
SPEAKER_01: Like I've I love my mother, but you've taught me more in 30 seconds than I've ever learned about womanhood in my life.
7:11
SPEAKER_05: I'm like, she only gave you a good personality.
7:13
SPEAKER_05: She did.
7:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
7:14
SPEAKER_01: I can change oil in a car.
7:16
SPEAKER_01: Oh, my car.
7:17
SPEAKER_01: It's weird.
7:17
SPEAKER_01: It's weird.
7:18
SPEAKER_01: She came from farmer's stock.
7:19
SPEAKER_01: Don't worry about it.
7:20
SPEAKER_05: I come from farmer's stock too.
7:22
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
7:22
SPEAKER_05: From where?
7:23
SPEAKER_05: I am from Fresno, which is the Kentucky of California.
7:26
SPEAKER_05: What do they call that?
7:27
SPEAKER_05: Well, it's called Farmer's Stock.
7:29
SPEAKER_05: Farmer's stock, like the well, I'm from the San Joaquin Valley and we feed the world.
7:33
SPEAKER_05: We are the farmers.
7:35
SPEAKER_05: We are the farmers.
7:36
SPEAKER_03: Technically, I came from a farm town too, North Carolina.
7:39
SPEAKER_03: Clinton, North Carolina.
7:40
SPEAKER_05: Oh, what do they grow there?
7:42
SPEAKER_05: Let me tell you.
7:42
SPEAKER_03: Strawberries.
7:43
SPEAKER_05: Oh, that's nice.
7:45
SPEAKER_03: We had a Parker Strawberry Farm.
7:47
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
7:48
SPEAKER_03: It was one of the biggest.
7:49
SPEAKER_01: You had a Parker Strawberry Farm?
7:50
SPEAKER_03: No, my grandpa did.
7:51
SPEAKER_01: He okay.
7:51
SPEAKER_03: And then he died.
7:52
SPEAKER_05: Did you call him Papa?
7:54
SPEAKER_03: No, he died before I got to meet him.
7:56
SPEAKER_05: Oh I know.
7:57
SPEAKER_05: And you know what?
7:57
SPEAKER_05: I don't think he would have liked you.
7:59
SPEAKER_03: Well, he didn't he definitely didn't like the gays.
8:02
SPEAKER_03: That's what I'm gonna say.
8:03
SPEAKER_03: No, he did.
8:04
SPEAKER_03: I think he did.
8:04
SPEAKER_03: I think he did.
8:05
SPEAKER_03: I think he did.
8:06
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
8:06
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna imagine my ghost father.
8:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, if you've never met him, make anything up.
8:11
SPEAKER_05: He's like, I can't handle this.
8:12
SPEAKER_05: I'm out.
8:13
SPEAKER_03: Wait, so in Kentucky, what is life like?
8:17
SPEAKER_05: Yes, tell us that, Sarah.
8:20
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
8:21
SPEAKER_01: Well, also, let me just say this though.
8:22
SPEAKER_01: I'm from uh Louisville, Kentucky.
8:24
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
8:25
SPEAKER_01: So it's not the sticks.
8:28
SPEAKER_01: The sticks.
8:29
SPEAKER_01: Like, in fact, like the rest of Kentucky, the rest of the counties for the most part, don't even they won't even like they won't own Louisville.
8:36
SPEAKER_01: They're like, hell no.
8:37
SPEAKER_01: You know, because we have like two buildings.
8:39
SPEAKER_01: They're like, too big a city.
8:40
SPEAKER_01: Nice bunch of queers.
8:42
SPEAKER_01: You know, you're like, what?
8:44
SPEAKER_01: We have one building.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: What are you talking about?
8:45
SPEAKER_01: We have a stadium in it.
8:46
SPEAKER_01: Why didn't one building?
8:47
SPEAKER_01: You know, and the stadium's not even good.
8:49
SPEAKER_01: It's just there.
8:50
SPEAKER_01: So so it's queers.
8:53
SPEAKER_01: Queer.
8:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
8:54
SPEAKER_05: So you build a stadium and they come.
8:57
SPEAKER_05: If you build it, they will come.
8:58
SPEAKER_05: They will come.
8:59
SPEAKER_05: The queers will come.
9:00
SPEAKER_05: They will come.
9:01
SPEAKER_01: Ah they do.
9:02
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, so it's kind of like it's a, you know, but I definitely grew up in it's like more of a conservative religious.
9:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, very, very Catholic, actually.
9:13
SPEAKER_05: There's a lot of Catholics.
9:15
SPEAKER_05: I went to Catholic school my whole life.
9:17
SPEAKER_05: And and all girl Catholic school.
9:20
SPEAKER_05: But I got kicked out.
9:21
SPEAKER_05: So what grade?
9:23
SPEAKER_01: What grade do you get kicked out of?
9:25
SPEAKER_01: But is that surprising?
9:28
SPEAKER_05: I went to Catholic kindergarten.
9:29
SPEAKER_05: Then I went to Catholic one through eight.
9:32
SPEAKER_05: Then in ninth grade, my mom signed me up for the all-girls.
9:35
SPEAKER_05: It was called um, I don't know if it's still there.
9:38
SPEAKER_05: Uh I remember what we called it, but it was called Queen of the Valley, but we called it Queers of the Alley.
9:44
SPEAKER_05: Queers of the Alley.
9:44
SPEAKER_01: There's always that's what they do.
9:46
SPEAKER_01: That's the only thing we just rename our.
9:48
SPEAKER_01: Because our school was called Assumption, and we called it Ascumption.
9:53
SPEAKER_03: Assumption.
9:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and then there was the other alternate girls' Catholic high school called Sacred Heart.
9:58
SPEAKER_01: We called it Sacred Fart.
9:59
SPEAKER_01: There you go.
10:01
SPEAKER_05: That's how we knew we were creative.
10:03
SPEAKER_05: We made up names for our kids.
10:05
SPEAKER_03: But do you feel that well, this is a question for both of you because do you feel that going to an all-girls Catholic school made you a better woman?
10:15
SPEAKER_01: I thought we might be gay.
10:18
SPEAKER_05: I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
10:18
SPEAKER_05: But wait, but wait, no, no, no.
10:21
SPEAKER_05: It's not a good environment.
10:22
SPEAKER_05: No.
10:23
SPEAKER_05: Were there a lot of gay people in your no?
10:26
SPEAKER_05: I was just kidding.
10:26
SPEAKER_01: Oh, so we did have.
10:28
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no.
10:29
SPEAKER_01: We had like one.
10:30
SPEAKER_01: And was that you?
10:31
SPEAKER_01: No, I wasn't.
10:32
SPEAKER_01: No, I've dated, I wasn't even out.
10:34
SPEAKER_01: Like, I I've dated lots of men too.
10:36
SPEAKER_01: Like, so let's let's relax.
10:37
SPEAKER_05: Let's, I mean, still no sex in a mirror.
10:40
SPEAKER_01: And stillness?
10:42
SPEAKER_01: Well, okay.
10:43
SPEAKER_01: You got that.
10:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so one night stand was a little blurry.
10:46
SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure there's a lot of alcohol, but I looked up to him taking a Polaroid of my face.
10:51
SPEAKER_01: I was like, I'm out.
10:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
10:54
SPEAKER_05: In a basement.
10:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
10:56
SPEAKER_01: In a basement.
10:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
10:58
SPEAKER_01: It was in Colorado.
10:59
SPEAKER_01: It looks too.
11:00
SPEAKER_01: God bless you.
11:01
SPEAKER_05: So how how old were you then?
11:03
SPEAKER_05: When you were blacking out in a basement in College?
11:05
SPEAKER_01: Oh, like, you know, in my early, like late teens, early 20s.
11:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
11:09
SPEAKER_05: You got out of Kentucky and you were like, I'm off.
11:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
11:13
SPEAKER_01: No, I left at 18.
11:15
SPEAKER_01: I was like, peace.
11:16
SPEAKER_01: And but I went to a lot of different places.
11:17
SPEAKER_01: I went to Chicago.
11:18
SPEAKER_01: I went to Colorado for a little while.
11:19
SPEAKER_01: We went to San Diego.
11:20
SPEAKER_01: We went to Key West.
11:21
SPEAKER_01: You know, that's why I got a burn mark.
11:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
11:24
SPEAKER_01: I like to get real shit faced.
11:26
SPEAKER_05: And are you not shit shit faced anymore?
11:28
SPEAKER_01: I'm not anymore.
11:29
SPEAKER_01: Because you're we really went drum into the ground.
11:32
SPEAKER_01: But I mean, did you did you go into a program?
11:36
SPEAKER_01: I did.
11:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I should, yeah, I should not be anywhere near alcohol.
11:40
SPEAKER_05: Well, that's why I got you some water.
11:42
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
11:43
SPEAKER_05: Trust me, I still got some vodka back, baby.
11:45
SPEAKER_05: But not for you.
11:47
SPEAKER_05: Wait, I want to ask you.
11:49
SPEAKER_05: Uh I made these fun questions.
11:51
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
11:52
SPEAKER_05: Now these are Catholic school gear questions.
11:54
SPEAKER_05: Did you go to an all-girl school Catholic school?
11:57
SPEAKER_03: I did.
11:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
11:58
SPEAKER_03: I did.
11:59
SPEAKER_03: No, I did not.
12:00
SPEAKER_03: You should have.
12:01
SPEAKER_03: I barely went to public school.
12:02
SPEAKER_05: So well, you missed out because it was kind of fun.
12:07
SPEAKER_01: It was super fun.
12:09
SPEAKER_01: It was fun because super fun is like, okay, that was an overkill.
12:13
SPEAKER_01: All right, that was dramatic.
12:14
SPEAKER_01: But like I but it was good because when you wore a uniform, so you didn't have to think about anything.
12:18
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
12:19
SPEAKER_05: I do like that.
12:20
SPEAKER_01: Like I love that.
12:21
SPEAKER_01: And like everyone.
12:22
SPEAKER_05: Unless you wore a hideous uniform, which is what we had.
12:24
SPEAKER_05: But yes, okay.
12:25
SPEAKER_01: Well, it just everybody was gross.
12:27
SPEAKER_01: Like you just showed up, it was gross.
12:29
SPEAKER_01: No one cared.
12:30
SPEAKER_01: Like it was just people showed up with zit creams all over before the sticker starts.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: You showed up with full-blown zinc oxide, like because they weren't trying to be hot for men.
12:39
SPEAKER_05: No, it was amazing.
12:41
SPEAKER_05: And the nuns set the standard way low.
12:44
SPEAKER_05: Like so.
12:46
SPEAKER_05: You will, no matter how bad you look, way better than Sister Paul.
12:50
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
12:51
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, not Sister Paul.
12:52
SPEAKER_05: I had a sister Paul.
12:53
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
12:54
SPEAKER_03: Was she a man?
12:55
SPEAKER_05: No, she was a dandruff-ridden, uh, very strict person.
13:00
SPEAKER_05: And uh, I remember her dearly.
13:04
SPEAKER_05: No, I remember her though, and she had a little bit of a hunch, and she always said the word behooves.
13:10
SPEAKER_05: It behooves you.
13:11
SPEAKER_05: Oh, boy.
13:12
SPEAKER_01: Ain't it like a nun to say that?
13:13
SPEAKER_01: She's given up.
13:14
SPEAKER_05: Behooves.
13:15
SPEAKER_05: That was her big word.
13:17
SPEAKER_05: And did she hurt her?
13:19
SPEAKER_05: Who hurt her?
13:21
SPEAKER_05: I felt like since they're all married, you know.
13:23
SPEAKER_05: I don't know if you know this, but nuns are married to the Lord.
13:27
SPEAKER_05: The Lord.
13:28
SPEAKER_05: So they don't have to dress up.
13:29
SPEAKER_05: Their honeymoon takes place when they're dead.
13:32
SPEAKER_05: When they're dead, that's when they meet and it all happens.
13:36
SPEAKER_05: Till then, what are you?
13:38
SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
13:39
SPEAKER_05: It's like having a husband in another country.
13:42
SPEAKER_05: Who cares?
13:43
SPEAKER_03: But you can't even you talk to him in your like your like dreams.
13:46
SPEAKER_03: You don't really get to talk to him.
13:47
SPEAKER_05: Or you know, yeah, you get to pray to him.
13:50
SPEAKER_03: Oh god.
13:50
SPEAKER_05: But um, I remember nuns, I feel like nuns really love the concept of death because they would work it into all the topics.
13:57
SPEAKER_05: I'd be like, Sister Teresa, it's very hot here.
14:00
SPEAKER_05: Well, if God wanted to, he could increase it 10 more things, we'd all die.
14:04
SPEAKER_05: Oh my god.
14:05
SPEAKER_03: Because that's when she gets laid.
14:07
SPEAKER_03: That's right.
14:08
SPEAKER_05: That's why she can't wait till we all die.
14:11
SPEAKER_05: But I wanted to ask you this about your all-girl school.
14:14
SPEAKER_05: Sure.
14:15
SPEAKER_05: Catholic school.
14:16
SPEAKER_05: Now, can you explain to our heathen over here and pay maybe some heathens in the audience?
14:23
SPEAKER_05: Yes, please.
14:24
SPEAKER_05: Pagans.
14:25
SPEAKER_05: That what is a venial sin?
14:28
SPEAKER_05: What is a mortal sin?
14:29
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, you're really testing my oh my god.
14:31
SPEAKER_05: No, because you can put it just in layman's terms.
14:34
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm that terrible Catholic.
14:35
SPEAKER_01: I don't know the stuff like that.
14:36
SPEAKER_01: I don't know stuff like that.
14:37
SPEAKER_01: For all your years of school.
14:39
SPEAKER_01: They didn't teach stuff like that.
14:40
SPEAKER_01: No, I I I like religious studies.
14:43
SPEAKER_01: I didn't learn stuff like that.
14:44
SPEAKER_05: She was not baby.
14:45
SPEAKER_01: You barely could get a confirmation name.
14:47
SPEAKER_01: No, I mean.
14:47
SPEAKER_05: What is your confirmation name?
14:48
SPEAKER_01: Well, that wasn't even the pro that wasn't even a problem then.
14:51
SPEAKER_01: I wanted to be Saint Sebastian because you get to pick in seventh grade a saint.
14:55
SPEAKER_01: You get to pick a saint name.
14:56
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
14:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:57
SPEAKER_01: And you get confirmed.
14:58
SPEAKER_01: And so then you pick a saint that like.
14:59
SPEAKER_05: They slap you, right?
15:00
SPEAKER_01: You want to be no.
15:02
SPEAKER_05: We got it slapped.
15:03
SPEAKER_01: Did you go to Ketlick?
15:06
SPEAKER_01: No, no, we didn't get slapped.
15:08
SPEAKER_05: It makes you a soldier of Christ.
15:10
SPEAKER_05: Oh my god, we didn't get that.
15:11
SPEAKER_05: We had the cardinal.
15:12
SPEAKER_01: No.
15:13
SPEAKER_01: Well, that no, it was a it was a saint that you like aspire, like you like a bond within the Bible.
15:19
SPEAKER_03: And you found them hot or not?
15:20
SPEAKER_05: Well, no, we didn't even know what they looked like.
15:23
SPEAKER_01: No.
15:24
SPEAKER_05: There's no cameras back in the Bible.
15:26
SPEAKER_01: They had no cameras.
15:27
SPEAKER_01: There was no reason to be there.
15:27
SPEAKER_01: All these influencer saints.
15:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but I but that was a thing.
15:30
SPEAKER_01: That was a problem.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: I chose Saint Sebastian because I was in love with Saint Sebastian or Sebastian Bach from Skid Row.
15:36
SPEAKER_01: Oh my God.
15:37
SPEAKER_01: Who was it?
15:38
SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh my god.
15:40
SPEAKER_03: I thought you were going to say from The Little Mermaid.
15:42
SPEAKER_05: No! Sebastian, Skidrow and Warrant.
15:46
SPEAKER_05: Warrant was another cool band in Jackie.
15:49
SPEAKER_05: Oh my god.
15:49
SPEAKER_01: All of them just like long blonde.
15:51
SPEAKER_01: Maybe that was my mirror.
15:53
SPEAKER_01: Because we all had long blonde hair.
15:55
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, because they are very, uh, what's that word?
15:58
SPEAKER_05: It's not ambiguous.
15:59
SPEAKER_05: They're very they're very um, what's that word when guys are girlish?
16:03
SPEAKER_05: Uh uh.
16:06
SPEAKER_05: Come on, people.
16:07
SPEAKER_03: Uh it's uh androgynous.
16:10
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, sure, sure, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
16:11
SPEAKER_05: Like Steven Tyler when he was younger.
16:13
SPEAKER_05: Anybody with the long hair now, even now.
16:17
SPEAKER_03: More now, actually.
16:19
SPEAKER_05: No, no, not for me.
16:21
SPEAKER_05: But or David Lee Roth when he was very young with his hair.
16:26
SPEAKER_05: There was a lot of good hair.
16:28
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
16:28
SPEAKER_05: Hair thin, thin with hair.
16:31
SPEAKER_01: It is all about leggings, a lot of leggings, bulges, a lot of leggings with bulges, and like red leather jackets.
16:39
SPEAKER_05: We think they were packing those bulges.
16:40
SPEAKER_01: Maybe.
16:41
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
16:41
SPEAKER_01: Who cares?
16:42
SPEAKER_05: It was great.
16:43
SPEAKER_03: Did we ever did we ever unpack a bulge?
16:46
SPEAKER_03: No.
16:47
SPEAKER_05: Who cares?
16:47
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
16:48
SPEAKER_05: No, it was all it was just a thing.
16:50
SPEAKER_05: It was like, do you care what a mermaid's doing?
16:52
SPEAKER_05: It's a beautiful creature that's in life.
16:54
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
16:55
SPEAKER_05: And they were beautiful creatures in life.
16:57
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
16:58
SPEAKER_05: They were.
16:58
SPEAKER_05: And you know, the only thing we since them that we had that was kind of ethereal in his beauty, right?
17:04
SPEAKER_05: Was Prince.
17:06
SPEAKER_05: Prince wore some shit.
17:07
SPEAKER_05: He was too skinny for me.
17:08
SPEAKER_05: And I saw his movie and he was always with Brunette.
17:11
SPEAKER_05: So I was like, whatever.
17:13
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
17:14
SPEAKER_05: He's picking Apollonia.
17:16
SPEAKER_05: He's never gonna pick me.
17:17
SPEAKER_05: And he wasn't gay.
17:18
SPEAKER_05: No, he was not gay.
17:20
SPEAKER_05: He was sexual.
17:21
SPEAKER_05: He was androgynous.
17:23
SPEAKER_05: Right.
17:24
SPEAKER_05: He was androgynous.
17:26
SPEAKER_05: Right.
17:26
SPEAKER_05: Here's to all the androgyny.
17:30
SPEAKER_05: There we go.
17:31
SPEAKER_05: There we go.
17:31
SPEAKER_05: All right.
17:32
SPEAKER_05: So I'm going to explain what a venial sin is so we can play this role.
17:35
SPEAKER_01: I'm so sorry.
17:38
SPEAKER_05: I hate to tell you this.
17:39
SPEAKER_05: You might be going to hell.
17:41
SPEAKER_05: That's fine.
17:43
SPEAKER_05: It was a good ride.
17:44
SPEAKER_05: It was a good ride.
17:46
SPEAKER_05: You'll meet so many people you don't.
17:47
SPEAKER_05: See what I mean?
17:48
SPEAKER_05: Venial sin only means it's a baby sin.
17:51
SPEAKER_05: You're not going to go to hell if you have a venial sin.
17:54
SPEAKER_05: It's like I lied to my mom.
17:56
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
17:56
SPEAKER_05: I blah blah blah.
17:57
SPEAKER_05: But then there's mortal sins.
18:00
SPEAKER_05: You're acting like you've never heard this before.
18:02
SPEAKER_05: She's like, I'm not sure.
18:02
SPEAKER_05: No, I heard you're lying.
18:04
SPEAKER_01: I wasn't vain aging at all.
18:05
SPEAKER_01: I was just trying to make it to 2 30 to get out of there.
18:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:08
SPEAKER_05: I was just trying to stay awake and upright.
18:10
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
18:10
SPEAKER_05: Mortal sins.
18:11
SPEAKER_05: So that's it.
18:12
SPEAKER_05: Venial sin.
18:13
SPEAKER_05: A mortal sin.
18:14
SPEAKER_05: If you die without confessing that or being forgiven, you will go straight to hell.
18:20
SPEAKER_05: You do not collect$200.
18:21
SPEAKER_05: So it's like murdering or missing mass on Sunday.
18:25
SPEAKER_05: Uh there's the I don't know which all that were mortal, but the name of this game is called Venial, Mortal, or Worth It.
18:33
SPEAKER_05: I'm going to ask you some questions.
18:34
SPEAKER_05: So if something's really bad, it's a mortal sin.
18:38
SPEAKER_05: Worth it?
18:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:41
SPEAKER_05: Did you ever go to confession, by the way?
18:43
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
18:45
SPEAKER_05: Do you remember how it starts?
18:46
SPEAKER_05: Let's start together on the count of three.
18:48
SPEAKER_01: You're going to kill me.
18:49
SPEAKER_01: I'm the go.
18:50
SPEAKER_01: How's it start?
18:51
SPEAKER_01: God help me.
18:52
SPEAKER_01: Bless me.
18:52
SPEAKER_01: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
18:54
SPEAKER_01: It has been.
18:56
SPEAKER_01: 7,000 million days since my last confession.
18:59
SPEAKER_05: These are my sins.
19:00
SPEAKER_01: These are my sins.
19:01
SPEAKER_01: Damn, you nailed it.
19:03
SPEAKER_01: Do you know how old you are when you have to first say that?
19:06
SPEAKER_01: How old?
19:07
SPEAKER_01: Fourth grade.
19:08
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
19:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:09
SPEAKER_01: Fourth grade reconciliation.
19:11
SPEAKER_01: This is why.
19:12
SPEAKER_01: See, this is why.
19:13
SPEAKER_01: This is from the very beginning.
19:14
SPEAKER_03: That is some.
19:15
SPEAKER_01: I was like, hold it.
19:16
SPEAKER_03: Programming right there.
19:17
SPEAKER_01: I remember asking my, I was like, how to you want me to do what?
19:25
SPEAKER_01: Like, I have not done nothing.
19:26
SPEAKER_01: Like I literally was like, think of sin.
19:29
SPEAKER_01: I'm 10, bro.
19:29
SPEAKER_01: Like, I'm 10.
19:30
SPEAKER_01: What do you what would you?
19:31
SPEAKER_01: I just started like making stuff up, you know, like in the thing just to get a prayer so I can go.
19:36
SPEAKER_01: So you could do a what's it called?
19:37
SPEAKER_01: Your penance.
19:38
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
19:38
SPEAKER_05: Penance.
19:42
SPEAKER_05: And you do a an our father.
19:43
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
19:44
SPEAKER_05: Or a Hail Mary.
19:46
SPEAKER_05: I think that's all I know.
19:47
SPEAKER_05: Which I could never remember.
19:49
SPEAKER_03: Shame that that roots in someone from her.
19:51
SPEAKER_05: But I we were confessing stuff.
19:53
SPEAKER_05: Like I had nothing really to confess.
19:55
SPEAKER_05: But I one time threw a tomato and I was a pretty bad shot.
19:58
SPEAKER_05: But this one time I hit my neighbor with a tomato and it got on his shirt, and his mom was very upset and marched me home.
20:05
SPEAKER_05: And I just remember thinking, this must be a mortal sin.
20:08
SPEAKER_05: This is a mortal sin.
20:09
SPEAKER_05: It took me months to get the courage to tell the priest about that uh tomato throwing.
20:16
SPEAKER_05: And every night I was afraid that I might be going to hell.
20:19
SPEAKER_05: And I gotta tell him, I gotta tell him about it, but I was so embarrassed.
20:23
SPEAKER_03: The trauma from being growing up Catholic is insane.
20:28
SPEAKER_03: It's traumatic.
20:29
SPEAKER_05: It has some good things.
20:31
SPEAKER_01: As good stories.
20:32
SPEAKER_01: Come on.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're taking up a whole podcast.
20:35
SPEAKER_03: One of my one of my best friends grew up in a child, one of nine in a Catholic story.
20:40
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you gotta have a lot of kids.
20:42
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
20:42
SPEAKER_03: They're crazy.
20:45
SPEAKER_03: Like their mom was like editing movies out so they could they could watch the movies, but it would be like a very slimmed down version.
20:54
SPEAKER_05: Oh wow.
20:55
SPEAKER_05: She knew that's that's a mother who cares.
20:58
SPEAKER_03: Really?
20:59
SPEAKER_05: Editing a movie.
21:00
SPEAKER_03: That's all that's too much work.
21:01
SPEAKER_03: How do you even do it back then?
21:02
SPEAKER_03: You're like gonna be.
21:03
SPEAKER_05: I don't know, cutting film and taping it.
21:05
SPEAKER_05: All right, but this game.
21:07
SPEAKER_05: Okay, the game.
21:08
SPEAKER_05: That's the game, the game.
21:10
SPEAKER_05: So um it's called venial, which means small, mortal, or worth it.
21:15
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
21:15
SPEAKER_05: So here's my first question to you.
21:18
SPEAKER_05: Oh.
21:26
SPEAKER_05: What well what's the first thing you remember thinking might send you to hell?
21:32
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
21:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's good.
21:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm trying not to fidget with that.
21:39
SPEAKER_05: No, but to me that oh I see, yeah.
21:42
SPEAKER_05: Do you think of something that did you think of something that you thought, oh I might be going to hell for this?
21:49
SPEAKER_01: I mean, probably anything sexual, yeah, not good.
21:54
SPEAKER_01: Lying was bad.
21:55
SPEAKER_01: I was definitely a natural born liar.
21:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
21:58
SPEAKER_01: But I was kinda good with it.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: I was like, that's pretty brilliant, Sarah.
22:01
SPEAKER_03: Acting.
22:02
SPEAKER_03: You're an actress.
22:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
22:03
SPEAKER_01: I was like, that's pretty much it.
22:05
SPEAKER_03: It's creativity.
22:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
22:06
SPEAKER_03: It is.
22:07
SPEAKER_01: Because here's the here's can I say something though?
22:10
SPEAKER_01: Yes, please.
22:10
SPEAKER_01: Here's the problem is because I never lit like in that confound of like, oh like I always felt guilty, but I was like, I'm gonna roll right past it.
22:17
SPEAKER_01: Like, because I always had this thing, I was like, this is so stupid.
22:20
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh yeah, you knew right away.
22:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, a little bit, a little bit.
22:25
SPEAKER_01: Because I I lied in the reconciliation.
22:28
SPEAKER_01: I lied about stealing cookies.
22:29
SPEAKER_01: Like because I can't.
22:30
SPEAKER_05: You mean in the confession?
22:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:32
SPEAKER_01: Because when you first reconcile, you have to go face to face with the priest.
22:36
SPEAKER_05: We did not do that.
22:37
SPEAKER_01: Who was Father Jim, who later turned out to be gay.
22:39
SPEAKER_01: We love Father Jim.
22:40
SPEAKER_01: Saw him at a drag show like 10 years later when he left the church.
22:43
SPEAKER_05: Father Jim.
22:44
SPEAKER_01: And like that's even when I met Father Jim, I was like, What's up, girl?
22:47
SPEAKER_01: Like, you know what I mean?
22:48
SPEAKER_01: Like, there was always this thing.
22:49
SPEAKER_05: I was like, So you had to look him in the eyeballs and say, Oh, and you were first one.
22:55
SPEAKER_05: No, we didn't have that.
22:56
SPEAKER_05: We didn't.
22:57
SPEAKER_05: But you didn't get slapped in the face on your I did not.
23:00
SPEAKER_05: There's all these kind of like little vibes of Catholic Church in California.
23:04
SPEAKER_03: Abuse.
23:05
SPEAKER_03: This was abuse.
23:06
SPEAKER_05: Well, it was just a thing.
23:08
SPEAKER_05: It was, I don't want to say because some people love it, and I don't like to put religions down because some people get a lot out of it.
23:14
SPEAKER_05: And I'm a positive person.
23:16
SPEAKER_05: Um, as is Sarah.
23:18
SPEAKER_05: We're positive people.
23:20
SPEAKER_05: I love a positive person.
23:20
SPEAKER_05: We're positive people.
23:24
SPEAKER_01: Also unfocused, because I didn't I can't answer your question.
23:26
SPEAKER_01: So I would just say Yes.
23:28
SPEAKER_05: I would say positive and unfocused.
23:31
SPEAKER_01: Very unfocused.
23:32
SPEAKER_05: Okay, but she's answering the first thing.
23:34
SPEAKER_01: Say the first thing.
23:36
SPEAKER_01: Uh okay, you know what, really?
23:38
SPEAKER_01: Stealing.
23:39
SPEAKER_05: Stealing.
23:40
SPEAKER_05: What did you steal?
23:41
SPEAKER_01: I was a c well, I got busted for shoplifting when I was 16.
23:46
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
23:46
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
23:47
SPEAKER_01: And what did you get?
23:48
SPEAKER_01: We all took off from Catholic school.
23:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
23:50
SPEAKER_01: All of us went our Catholic school uniform.
23:52
SPEAKER_01: We all had the same uniform.
23:53
SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah.
23:53
SPEAKER_05: That's a good, good disguise.
23:55
SPEAKER_01: Oh my God.
23:56
SPEAKER_01: Well, not only that, we were so dumb.
23:57
SPEAKER_01: Like, we were all high.
23:58
SPEAKER_01: Like, we're just high.
23:59
SPEAKER_01: You know, just smoking on the way there.
24:02
SPEAKER_01: So high.
24:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we all took off.
24:04
SPEAKER_01: We just skipped school the same day.
24:06
SPEAKER_01: All of us had our same uniform on because we were pretending to go, but then we didn't go.
24:10
SPEAKER_01: Got super high.
24:11
SPEAKER_01: And then walked in the front of the store was which was called Bacons.
24:15
SPEAKER_01: Bacons.
24:16
SPEAKER_00: Bacons.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: Bacons.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: Hey, Bacon.
24:19
SPEAKER_00: It's no longer there.
24:20
SPEAKER_04: Probably because of all the stuff you stole.
24:22
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
24:24
SPEAKER_01: Well, because at that at that time, I don't know if they still didn't, but in front of malls, they they had two like uh two racks of bags for shoppers.
24:32
SPEAKER_01: Oh.
24:33
SPEAKER_01: And so all of us high ass idiots walked in and we all took a bag.
24:37
SPEAKER_01: Well, why wouldn't we?
24:38
SPEAKER_01: Why wouldn't no no red flags there?
24:39
SPEAKER_01: We're all just walking around with these empty bags.
24:42
SPEAKER_01: Super full flight from any reality, what was just happening.
24:46
SPEAKER_01: And so we all went up to the women's floor or the girls' floor.
24:50
SPEAKER_01: For makeup?
24:51
SPEAKER_01: No, for clothes.
24:52
SPEAKER_01: I didn't even like clothes.
24:54
SPEAKER_01: I just did it to do it.
24:55
SPEAKER_01: And people were like, like, I stuck saying it's like size zero.
24:58
SPEAKER_01: I was no size zero.
24:59
SPEAKER_01: But as you can see.
24:59
SPEAKER_03: You were doing it for the dopamine.
25:01
SPEAKER_01: Just to do it.
25:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, because you were with the group.
25:03
SPEAKER_03: Right.
25:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
25:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
25:04
SPEAKER_01: And they were like, stick stuff in because they all called me Highland.
25:07
SPEAKER_01: Like, stick you, stick this in your bag, Highland, stick this in your bag, Highland.
25:10
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, and then we would go to the dressing rooms.
25:12
SPEAKER_01: Do you ever do things like when you're so drunk, higher, just out of your mind, where you literally think that no one can see you?
25:19
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
25:20
SPEAKER_03: Oh, absolutely.
25:22
SPEAKER_03: God can see you.
25:23
SPEAKER_03: God can see you.
25:24
SPEAKER_01: And every camera in the place.
25:26
SPEAKER_01: So we would I would go to like the dressing rooms and like put everything in the bag.
25:30
SPEAKER_01: And then so all of us, okay.
25:33
SPEAKER_01: Also a slick move.
25:34
SPEAKER_01: We all leave at the same time.
25:36
SPEAKER_05: Of course, with your full maroon lad uniforms.
25:42
SPEAKER_01: That's a nice maroon.
25:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, maroon.
25:44
SPEAKER_01: Maroon gray.
25:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, muted color.
25:46
SPEAKER_01: Just blend.
25:48
SPEAKER_01: The name of the school, the whole thing.
25:51
SPEAKER_05: And you walk out, and what happened?
25:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, like all 12 of us are walking out.
25:55
SPEAKER_01: And we're like, and we're going down the stairs, like this is totally this is happening.
25:59
SPEAKER_03: Think that one through.
26:00
SPEAKER_01: What happened?
26:01
SPEAKER_01: So then, like, and out of out of nowhere, you guessed it, like all the like security officers and people who've been watching us since we walked in the mall, they're like, stop right there, stop right there.
26:11
SPEAKER_01: So everybody with the bag, come with me.
26:13
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, they gave me the bag, they gave me the bag.
26:18
SPEAKER_01: This was in my bag, you know what I mean?
26:20
SPEAKER_01: And so a lot of them, well, not a lot, but some of them got to leave because they didn't have any bags.
26:24
SPEAKER_01: So was there was nothing to like.
26:26
SPEAKER_01: You were there.
26:26
SPEAKER_01: But six of us got busted, and they took us in two at a time, two at a time, two at a time.
26:30
SPEAKER_01: And I was with my friend Liz, who's amazing.
26:34
SPEAKER_01: So anyway, but so her and Liz and we were sitting there, and there was a guy named Officer Oak.
26:39
SPEAKER_02: Uh oh.
26:40
SPEAKER_02: I'll never forget.
26:43
SPEAKER_01: He said, Well, god dang.
26:45
SPEAKER_01: I was like, Oh, gosh, fucking god.
26:48
SPEAKER_01: It wasn't even likable.
26:49
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
26:50
SPEAKER_01: I couldn't even, I should have been really sorry, and I should have been like repentance.
26:55
SPEAKER_01: I'm so god, I can't voice got into me.
26:58
SPEAKER_01: At the same time, I'm like, can we keep this rolling?
27:01
SPEAKER_01: Did you call my mom?
27:02
SPEAKER_01: Like, let's go, you know.
27:03
SPEAKER_01: And what and so you got you have a sin and a crime.
27:06
SPEAKER_01: A crime, yeah.
27:07
SPEAKER_01: And so Officer Oak.
27:10
SPEAKER_01: She was lying, committing crimes, learning how to be an actress early.
27:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're just sitting there.
27:15
SPEAKER_01: I'm bothered, you know.
27:16
SPEAKER_01: Like, what is anyway?
27:18
SPEAKER_01: And Officer Oak was like, What?
27:20
SPEAKER_01: What happened today?
27:21
SPEAKER_01: Just all you assumption bitches just try to take off and go steal shit.
27:24
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, matter of fact, we did, Officer Fuck.
27:27
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
27:28
SPEAKER_01: Like, I was so then my mom picked me up and she just didn't say a word.
27:33
SPEAKER_01: I was like, Do you know what he said to me?
27:34
SPEAKER_01: Do you know what this guy said to me?
27:36
SPEAKER_01: Like the whole way in the car.
27:37
SPEAKER_01: She's like, Shut your fake mouth.
27:40
SPEAKER_01: He's like, This is going well.
27:41
SPEAKER_01: This is going.
27:42
SPEAKER_01: And did you have a dad?
27:44
SPEAKER_01: I did have a dad.
27:45
SPEAKER_01: And mom always picked me up.
27:47
SPEAKER_05: But I mean, was dad gonna come home and meet you?
27:51
SPEAKER_01: It was really no, I knew he was.
27:53
SPEAKER_01: I it was he was worse, like even when you got the silent treatment from him, but he was also a big old drunk, so I could kind of be like, Do you want to talk about this big guy?
28:02
SPEAKER_01: Or do you want to talk about your jail time video?
28:05
SPEAKER_01: You know, it was kind of like one of those.
28:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, he had nothing.
28:08
SPEAKER_05: Did you ever go and confess that in confession?
28:11
SPEAKER_05: No, bro.
28:12
SPEAKER_01: That was still being this is the confession.
28:16
SPEAKER_01: That was like the first of many.
28:18
SPEAKER_01: Like that, yeah, that was just the somewhat of the beginning.
28:23
SPEAKER_05: I don't even know the whole thing.
28:24
SPEAKER_05: See if you can remember.
28:26
SPEAKER_01: Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with me in your face.
28:30
SPEAKER_01: Actually, I don't remember.
28:32
SPEAKER_01: I don't remember.
28:33
SPEAKER_05: No, the word is the Lord is with thee.
28:35
SPEAKER_05: Blessed are blessed art thou amongst women until that on itself be true?
28:41
SPEAKER_05: No.
28:46
SPEAKER_01: Hail Mary's a hard one.
28:47
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if it's a hard one.
28:48
SPEAKER_05: Our father, that's easier.
28:50
SPEAKER_05: But of course, that's awful.
28:51
SPEAKER_05: That's misogynistic to know the our father more than you know what I mean.
28:55
SPEAKER_05: It's like we're not giving it.
28:57
SPEAKER_03: He was always a male.
28:58
SPEAKER_05: I mean, you know, when you think about it, Mary was pregnant at 14.
29:03
SPEAKER_05: Her she told her husband she's married at 14, but a virgin.
29:07
SPEAKER_05: All this doesn't really add up.
29:09
SPEAKER_05: And then he takes, but I don't want to say it's so dumb.
29:12
SPEAKER_05: Sounds like an L rod.
29:13
SPEAKER_05: I I don't want to say it's so dumb.
29:15
SPEAKER_05: I just want to say it's to me, it didn't add up.
29:19
SPEAKER_05: But there are people that that live by this, and so I don't want to put it down, but I'm just saying to me, I was like, wow, a 14-year-old virgin, first of all, I wasn't, but then whoops, damage goods, another reason to go to hell, right?
29:35
SPEAKER_05: There were so many reasons, but she has played the game, and thank you.
29:40
SPEAKER_05: Now, you weren't Catholic and you didn't go to an all-girl school, but did you ever think you were going to hell?
29:47
SPEAKER_05: And for what?
29:48
SPEAKER_03: Never.
29:49
SPEAKER_03: I never thought I was going to hell.
29:51
SPEAKER_05: Wow, what a free spirit.
29:54
SPEAKER_05: Sure did not.
29:55
SPEAKER_05: Wow, everything I never thought about hell when you were young?
29:58
SPEAKER_03: No, no.
29:59
SPEAKER_03: I everyone in my family would would try to because I've been baptized like a million times because honestly, I love Christian loved a good baptism.
30:09
SPEAKER_03: Little look that's amazing.
30:11
SPEAKER_03: A little uh floating in the tank.
30:13
SPEAKER_05: You were as an adult baptized not as an adult, just as a little baby.
30:17
SPEAKER_03: As a teen.
30:18
SPEAKER_03: The last time I I was a born again.
30:21
SPEAKER_03: Sure was only for a friend group, you know.
30:25
SPEAKER_03: They had this like friend group in high school.
30:27
SPEAKER_03: All the popular kids went to this fucking church and uh I wanted in, okay?
30:32
SPEAKER_03: They had all the fun.
30:33
SPEAKER_05: I was baptized as a teenager.
30:35
SPEAKER_05: See, in our I'm just assuming we you get baptized as a baby.
30:40
SPEAKER_05: It's before you have any will.
30:41
SPEAKER_05: Got that as well.
30:43
SPEAKER_05: When you can't talk or anything, that's when they dunk you.
30:46
SPEAKER_03: I got a few baptisms.
30:47
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
30:48
SPEAKER_05: How did how was that teenage baptism?
30:50
SPEAKER_05: Did you like it?
30:51
SPEAKER_03: Uh yeah, I thought I was committing myself to the Lord.
30:55
SPEAKER_05: But you yeah, yeah, yeah.
30:56
SPEAKER_05: No, no, cool.
30:56
SPEAKER_05: You still never thought you were going to hell.
30:58
SPEAKER_03: Hell no.
30:59
SPEAKER_03: Hell no.
30:59
SPEAKER_03: Sure did not.
31:00
SPEAKER_05: No, no, we won't go.
31:01
SPEAKER_03: No, won't go.
31:03
SPEAKER_03: I don't I I okay.
31:04
SPEAKER_03: There was a part of me that never believed in it.
31:07
SPEAKER_03: Like, I from a very young age remember being like four or five in church and writing in the Bible, waiting to go home and knowing that this shit was all made up.
31:19
SPEAKER_03: Wow, that's very not a question.
31:22
SPEAKER_01: But you went to a public school.
31:24
SPEAKER_03: I did.
31:24
SPEAKER_01: But you were raised with religion.
31:27
SPEAKER_03: I was going to it was the more the grandparents.
31:31
SPEAKER_03: My parents didn't really care so much.
31:34
SPEAKER_01: Right.
31:34
SPEAKER_03: Matter of fact, I I did go to vacation Bible school in the summers.
31:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm obsessed.
31:40
SPEAKER_03: But I found out one year my parents were not even religious.
31:45
SPEAKER_03: They were just sending me there for free babysitting.
31:48
SPEAKER_05: Exactly.
31:49
SPEAKER_05: That is why, as a parent, you get you gotta take all those options.
31:54
SPEAKER_05: Did you go to did you go to Christian uh camp?
31:57
SPEAKER_01: Uh no, I went to Girl Scout camp, which is probably Christian camp.
32:01
SPEAKER_01: And um, but I did go to, we went to some Bible studies for sure.
32:04
SPEAKER_05: Oh yeah.
32:05
SPEAKER_01: That was it wasn't camp, but it was like during like oh when we were little, little, yeah.
32:11
SPEAKER_05: And look at how great you turned out.
32:12
SPEAKER_01: See, and I can't quote one verse.
32:16
SPEAKER_03: Would you also say that like during the growing up period, some of that stuff was helpful for like community?
32:26
SPEAKER_01: For sure.
32:26
SPEAKER_03: You know, like that's what it provided.
32:29
SPEAKER_05: And let me tell you this.
32:31
SPEAKER_05: I, since I got kicked out of my all-girls Catholic school, and how I met so in my in this Catholic school, we had these people very devout girls that maybe wanted to be nuns, girls that held hands that were friendly, and the bad girls that were sent to Catholic school because they had been acting out, and so those were my three groups.
32:57
SPEAKER_05: So I of course went with the bad girls.
33:00
SPEAKER_05: Of course.
33:00
SPEAKER_05: And there were the more fun ones.
33:02
SPEAKER_05: My most, my best friend there, her name was Mary, a total not following in the footsteps, but she said, We gotta get out of here.
33:12
SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, How are we gonna do it?
33:13
SPEAKER_05: She goes, watch and learn.
33:16
SPEAKER_05: So she gave me a roll of toilet paper, and she took a roll of toilet paper, and we just toilet papered the whole bathroom of the girls' bathroom, which is all like uh tile and you know, nothing really flammable.
33:27
SPEAKER_05: But then we lit it on fire.
33:29
SPEAKER_05: Whoa, and then we were asked to leave the next day.
33:32
SPEAKER_05: That was a way out, very new, very she was a pro.
33:38
SPEAKER_05: She was a pro and also a junkie.
33:41
SPEAKER_03: Did you ever see her again?
33:42
SPEAKER_05: Uh she's she no.
33:45
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that was that would be not with us, but she saved my life.
33:48
SPEAKER_03: She got you out of there.
33:49
SPEAKER_05: She got me out of there.
33:50
SPEAKER_05: So, but then here's the great thing about Catholic school.
33:54
SPEAKER_05: What helped me?
33:56
SPEAKER_05: The nuns are really hard on your teaching.
34:00
SPEAKER_05: And so when I transferred to public school, I was able to skip grades.
34:05
SPEAKER_05: Like, oh, I'm like, well, I already did that.
34:07
SPEAKER_05: I already did that.
34:07
SPEAKER_05: I could do so much from Catholic school.
34:09
SPEAKER_03: You were way more advanced.
34:10
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
34:11
SPEAKER_05: I was advanced.
34:12
SPEAKER_05: Yes, you were.
34:13
SPEAKER_05: So that helped me get out of my house early and get go to college early.
34:17
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
34:17
SPEAKER_05: Because of all those years in Catholic school.
34:19
SPEAKER_05: Did you feel like you had a heads up from Catholic school uh learning?
34:26
SPEAKER_01: No, but but I also look, like I I was an artist from the day one.
34:32
SPEAKER_01: I did everything.
34:33
SPEAKER_01: I just I went there to go to art class.
34:35
SPEAKER_01: Like I could care like the rest of it.
34:38
SPEAKER_01: And it it kind of like it it really got me through everything because I was good at it.
34:44
SPEAKER_01: And so the it kind of helped the rest of it.
34:49
SPEAKER_01: I did it.
34:50
SPEAKER_01: But it it just helped, and I was somewhat charismatic where I was like, come on, yeah, come on, you want to pass me, yeah, yeah, you know what I mean?
34:56
SPEAKER_01: Another year, you know what I mean?
34:58
SPEAKER_01: Come on.
34:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I made you a painting, you know what I mean?
35:00
SPEAKER_01: Like I would make them painting.
35:02
SPEAKER_01: But also, like I was in because I had you know uh learning disabilities, I was on Ritalin, like there were so many we were really trying, and so oh, we were on Medicaid, so I had to take like classes give you a little love for it.
35:16
SPEAKER_01: No, no, it's okay, I'm good because even in my senior year math class, because we were all the slow learners, and so we were all in the special Olympics class over there, and we would play because none of us could sit still or like do, you know, whatever.
35:30
SPEAKER_01: Oh my, I loved it.
35:31
SPEAKER_01: I want to go back actually.
35:32
SPEAKER_01: And um, like everybody had homemade tattoos, like you know what I mean?
35:36
SPEAKER_01: Everybody face tattoos.
35:37
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, what's up?
35:38
SPEAKER_01: You know, that they did the night before still bleeding.
35:41
SPEAKER_01: I'm like that was awesome.
35:43
SPEAKER_01: But we would play games like heads up, seven up and senior heads up seven up because none of us played that like in third grade, and we were like 17.
35:53
SPEAKER_01: This is what I mean.
35:54
SPEAKER_01: We were so that's what I mean.
35:55
SPEAKER_01: I think it was.
35:56
SPEAKER_01: But you were with some homies, you liked it.
35:58
SPEAKER_01: We were totally on, yeah.
36:00
SPEAKER_01: Everyone had been in a DY at least once already.
36:03
SPEAKER_01: Like people were in casts, you know, like sure.
36:06
SPEAKER_05: You if you wanted to be a superstar, yeah, come into school with a cast.
36:10
SPEAKER_05: Yes, or yeah, everyone signed it.
36:13
SPEAKER_05: You were like Taylor Swift for the day.
36:16
SPEAKER_05: Didn't you feel?
36:17
SPEAKER_05: Do you feel like did you ever come in with a cast or a cast on any arm leg?
36:22
SPEAKER_01: No, not in high school.
36:23
SPEAKER_01: I never got I never broke anything in but a cast.
36:25
SPEAKER_01: I broke a collarbone when I was really little, but didn't get a cast.
36:28
SPEAKER_05: No, there's no kid, just a sling.
36:30
SPEAKER_01: But that was it.
36:31
SPEAKER_01: But I definitely remember the signing the cast.
36:34
SPEAKER_05: It's like you moved up to Taylor Swift level at that day.
36:37
SPEAKER_05: But now, if like for instance, I was walking around with a cast, I just look decrepit.
36:42
SPEAKER_05: It's like it's not a flex anymore.
36:44
SPEAKER_05: It's not like, oh, what happened?
36:46
SPEAKER_05: It's like, oh, she's yeah, she's on her way out.
36:51
SPEAKER_01: Imagine a cast with braces.
36:53
SPEAKER_03: Oh, and maybe she got something done.
36:56
SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah, but a cast, oh no, but it's just like you don't even want scabs.
37:01
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, scabs were cool.
37:02
SPEAKER_05: Didn't you have some scabs?
37:04
SPEAKER_05: I bet you had some scab skinned knees, did you?
37:07
SPEAKER_05: Because yeah, I did.
37:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I played volleyball.
37:08
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I'm gonna be.
37:09
SPEAKER_05: Oh my god, going down for the ball.
37:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, I just fell a lot walking just in general.
37:14
SPEAKER_01: Oh, kind of like my jam.
37:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:16
SPEAKER_01: Just because just not paying attention to the you know what Billy Holliday said.
37:22
SPEAKER_05: It's my favorite quote, and I've told many people she was one of my favorite drug addicts and one of my favorite singers, and she's beautiful as well.
37:29
SPEAKER_05: She said, You have some people have to find the gutter to know where the sidewalk ends.
37:33
SPEAKER_01: You know what?
37:34
SPEAKER_01: That's right, Miss Billy Holliday.
37:35
SPEAKER_05: That's right.
37:36
SPEAKER_05: She sure did.
37:37
SPEAKER_05: She she a lot of people do, a lot of people do, and that is a way people learn.
37:41
SPEAKER_05: Some people learn through uh the mistakes of others, some people have to make their own mistakes, and some people can't even learn from their own mistakes, and they're really out there.
37:48
SPEAKER_05: You know what I mean?
37:49
SPEAKER_05: They're out there still we know those people, we have hope and prayers for them.
37:53
SPEAKER_03: Um bless them, Father, for they have sinned.
37:56
SPEAKER_05: Well, no, but people, you know, a lot of people, some people are easier to help than others.
38:02
SPEAKER_05: In my family, that's for damn sure.
38:04
SPEAKER_05: But I'm just saying now, having a scab, even more than one.
38:08
SPEAKER_05: I haven't had a scab, I haven't had a scab in a while.
38:12
SPEAKER_05: I just want you all to know.
38:13
SPEAKER_01: But if you have a couple recovery crib, yeah.
38:17
SPEAKER_05: But if you have a couple scabs, you look like a crack at, you look like you have on meth or something.
38:21
SPEAKER_05: No, scabs went from a flex to nothing.
38:24
SPEAKER_05: Speaking of math, speaking of math, yes.
38:28
SPEAKER_05: Have you done math before?
38:29
SPEAKER_01: No, I wasn't a math straight boob.
38:31
SPEAKER_03: I've done math before.
38:32
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
38:33
SPEAKER_03: I enjoyed it, it was really good.
38:35
SPEAKER_03: But I don't I don't recommend it because I like sleep too much.
38:39
SPEAKER_03: But it was one of those.
38:40
SPEAKER_03: Okay, I'm I'm the guest guy.
38:42
SPEAKER_05: This is but that's interesting that you've done math once.
38:46
SPEAKER_03: Twice.
38:46
SPEAKER_03: Oh, twice.
38:47
SPEAKER_03: Oh twice.
38:48
SPEAKER_05: Three times.
38:49
SPEAKER_03: It was like I hear she's addictive.
38:51
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I just hear, yeah.
38:53
SPEAKER_05: Oh, three three times in ten years.
38:55
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
38:55
SPEAKER_05: Is that your story and you're sticking with it?
38:57
SPEAKER_03: I know.
38:58
SPEAKER_03: Uh there was a I never no, no, it really was actually three times.
39:04
SPEAKER_03: One time was they said, Do you want speed?
39:06
SPEAKER_03: I was walking down Hollywood Boulevard and they were like, You want some speed?
39:09
SPEAKER_03: And I had been drinking that night.
39:11
SPEAKER_03: I was like, Yes, that sounds great.
39:13
SPEAKER_03: And then come to find out it was meth, which by the way, everyone, speed is meth.
39:18
SPEAKER_03: I got tricked into it, didn't realize I was on meth until I was on meth.
39:23
SPEAKER_05: So but you liked it, you were happy, you were like, okay, this is the thing.
39:27
SPEAKER_03: Your clothes come off immediately.
39:29
SPEAKER_03: Immediately.
39:30
SPEAKER_03: It's like it's time to get down whenever you're on meth.
39:33
SPEAKER_05: Do you know um one of the persons that I uh used to, I've helped a few drug addicts in my day.
39:39
SPEAKER_05: I have a guest house, and if you have a drug problem, you can move in there and live there for free till you get off of it.
39:45
SPEAKER_05: And I help you with that.
39:46
SPEAKER_05: But um yes, I've I've had a few people that do meth so that they will drink so that they'll do math, so they will have sex with the person of their choice.
40:00
SPEAKER_05: But without that, they will just be in another category, another lane.
40:05
SPEAKER_05: Wait, how do they get the person of their choice on meth?
40:09
SPEAKER_05: The gender of their choice, I should say.
40:11
SPEAKER_05: Oh, you mean like like you think, oh man, you you have a drug problem.
40:17
SPEAKER_05: The drug problem is uh was the solution.
40:20
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
40:20
SPEAKER_05: The problem was the solution.
40:22
SPEAKER_05: They're gay.
40:22
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, they're gay.
40:23
SPEAKER_05: Well, you know, whatever they are.
40:25
SPEAKER_05: But yes, they would go this way, or they're whatever.
40:28
SPEAKER_05: But it was very interesting because you know, you can never really assume.
40:32
SPEAKER_05: Like you see someone with a broken leg and go, Well, then I'm sure they really want to handle that broken leg, but that's not what's on their mind.
40:38
SPEAKER_05: What's on their mind is I can't talk to girls, or I can't, or I hate my dad.
40:42
SPEAKER_05: And you're like, Oh, okay, so you really can't assume, but I was like, Oh, that's interesting.
40:48
SPEAKER_05: But so you got it once, you were tricked, and then the second time you begged for it.
40:54
SPEAKER_03: No.
40:55
SPEAKER_03: This person I was living with was like, you want to do some meth?
40:58
SPEAKER_03: And I was in a I was in a different, differently, definitely a different place in my life.
41:03
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, sure, let's go.
41:06
SPEAKER_03: Didn't even fucking like be around the bush.
41:08
SPEAKER_03: I was like, let's go get it.
41:10
SPEAKER_03: And uh ended up having the best sex that night, I gotta say, you know, a meth hookup is nice.
41:20
SPEAKER_05: But you were with your guy that you lived with.
41:23
SPEAKER_03: I he I ditched him.
41:25
SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
41:26
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, that's what happens on meth for everyone at all times.
41:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:31
SPEAKER_01: It's part of the meth.
41:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, it's what I hear.
41:33
SPEAKER_03: I never I've never done it, but you get very you're you become addicted to sex in addition to.
41:38
SPEAKER_03: I think that's why people, especially people with sex addiction, they love the meth because it helps them go from the next to the next to the next.
41:48
SPEAKER_05: And so the third time.
41:50
SPEAKER_03: Third time during the pandemic, was feeling a little sad, lived alone downtown, and just jacking up in a mirror.
41:59
SPEAKER_03: Just jacking, not yet.
42:01
SPEAKER_03: I hadn't made it there yet.
42:03
SPEAKER_03: And it was a grinder situation, and I shot that, I shot meth up that night.
42:09
SPEAKER_03: No, yes, oh my god.
42:11
SPEAKER_03: I did, I did.
42:12
SPEAKER_03: Yes, yes, yes, yes.
42:13
SPEAKER_05: By yourself, you you never shot up anything.
42:16
SPEAKER_03: Nope.
42:17
SPEAKER_05: And you shoot meth up.
42:19
SPEAKER_05: That's something I'm never doing.
42:22
SPEAKER_03: I will never doing that again either.
42:25
SPEAKER_03: It was so fun.
42:27
SPEAKER_03: Gotta say.
42:28
SPEAKER_03: The problem is that I'm too anal.
42:31
SPEAKER_03: Like, I can't do something the next day.
42:34
SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm done.
42:35
SPEAKER_03: Like, whenever I'm done with something, like, I need my sleep.
42:38
SPEAKER_03: I love sleep so much.
42:39
SPEAKER_03: But like, I need my beauty sleep every single night.
42:42
SPEAKER_03: And you can't sleep on meth.
42:44
SPEAKER_05: No, you can't, but I also don't want to give people vanity reasons.
42:47
SPEAKER_05: It's a vanity.
42:48
SPEAKER_05: It's giving me wrinkles.
42:50
SPEAKER_05: I can't.
42:50
SPEAKER_05: I can't do it.
42:51
SPEAKER_03: I can't do it.
42:52
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
42:53
SPEAKER_05: I mean, have you ever shot up anything, Sarah?
42:57
SPEAKER_05: I'm like, uh B12 shot.
43:00
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
43:00
SPEAKER_01: Not to break until I'm not.
43:06
SPEAKER_01: No, I this is like going to bars and just blacking out.
43:09
SPEAKER_05: Like, that's yeah, like a normal human being.
43:12
SPEAKER_05: Like a normal human being.
43:13
SPEAKER_05: Love a martini.
43:14
SPEAKER_01: Well, I yeah, but but I didn't, I don't have a desire because like even with Ritalin, like it's speed, but like it did the opposite effect on me.
43:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like calling like you know, just a robot.
43:24
SPEAKER_01: Like, I had a boyfriend at the time who's like, what is like he hated.
43:27
SPEAKER_01: He's like, I hate you.
43:28
SPEAKER_01: Like, because I just there it took away every like it didn't make me got my work done, but my personality took a nice vacay for about two years.
43:38
SPEAKER_05: So now you're totally off it because look at your personality is fantastic.
43:46
SPEAKER_01: Cause I love it.
43:46
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I literally, it's like, take one pill.
43:49
SPEAKER_01: I took 28.
43:49
SPEAKER_01: You know, like crap.
43:50
SPEAKER_01: I did that.
43:51
SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, because yeah, you because I can't, it does allow for focus, it does its job, but like, and you don't sleep, you don't.
44:00
SPEAKER_01: Eat like it's that you feel great though.
44:02
SPEAKER_01: You feel them so thin, like so thin.
44:05
SPEAKER_01: And you know thin and efficient aerodynamic, but and aerodicks of a damned male.
44:11
SPEAKER_05: When you were I was one I was very, very thin, and I wasn't it.
44:16
SPEAKER_05: I mean, of course, later on with speed, but um, but but when I was first being anorexic, my you felt so light, like if someone pulled your arm, like you could fly, like you would just take off a little bit.
44:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's so sick and twisted.
44:31
SPEAKER_05: But you're like, oh my god, I'm so light.
44:33
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
44:34
SPEAKER_01: I wanted to like fall down a sewer crate.
44:36
SPEAKER_03: Wait, you're so on the on the Ritalin?
44:38
SPEAKER_05: No, just no, just eating disorder, Ritalin, drinking.
44:41
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
44:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I got to like 102 pounds.
44:43
SPEAKER_01: I'm five nine.
44:44
SPEAKER_01: This is not I've had gay men clap at that.
44:47
SPEAKER_01: They're like, yeah, let's go.
44:48
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no, don't clap.
44:50
SPEAKER_01: It was almost dead.
44:51
SPEAKER_05: It was almost dead.
44:51
SPEAKER_05: There used to be a saying, you can never be too thin or too.
44:54
SPEAKER_05: Too rich or too thin.
44:55
SPEAKER_05: That's right.
44:56
SPEAKER_05: Nothing too.
44:57
SPEAKER_05: I had a woman, I'll never break it.
44:58
SPEAKER_01: I had a woman in Chicago.
44:59
SPEAKER_01: I was a bartender and I was like 14 pounds.
45:02
SPEAKER_01: And I she was one of the managers at the bar.
45:05
SPEAKER_01: And I'll never, she's exactly what she said to me.
45:07
SPEAKER_01: She said, Honey, don't worry about it.
45:09
SPEAKER_01: Whatever people say about you, you can never be too thin or too rich.
45:11
SPEAKER_01: And I was like, bitch, best friends, yeah.
45:15
SPEAKER_05: No, but we believe that.
45:17
SPEAKER_05: That was like the biggest compliment you could ever, ever get to be too thin.
45:23
SPEAKER_05: I was so you know how sick I got?
45:26
SPEAKER_05: I did not have a period for almost seven years.
45:30
SPEAKER_05: What?
45:30
SPEAKER_01: 10.
45:31
SPEAKER_01: Bam! George, it's crazy.
45:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you can't.
45:35
SPEAKER_01: It's gone.
45:36
SPEAKER_01: It's gone.
45:36
SPEAKER_01: Even when I got sober, it took me 10 years to get it back.
45:39
SPEAKER_03: What?
45:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
45:40
SPEAKER_03: That is insane.
45:41
SPEAKER_01: Oh, your body shuts down.
45:45
SPEAKER_05: And you're cold.
45:45
SPEAKER_05: Well, yeah.
45:46
SPEAKER_01: I still get cold.
45:47
SPEAKER_05: I still have really I'm I'm so cold.
45:49
SPEAKER_05: But I I uh I got my period back right away.
45:54
SPEAKER_01: I didn't that.
45:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
45:56
SPEAKER_05: And I that's when I first I have four kids.
46:00
SPEAKER_05: One of my first kids, I didn't realize I was pregnant with him because I had stopped doing speed.
46:07
SPEAKER_05: It wasn't math, but it was speed.
46:08
SPEAKER_05: I'd stopped doing speed, which I had done religiously for years.
46:11
SPEAKER_05: And at all.
46:13
SPEAKER_05: No, just speed.
46:14
SPEAKER_05: Black beauties is what they were.
46:16
SPEAKER_05: Oh, so you've done the math before.
46:17
SPEAKER_05: Well, I don't think it's meth, but anyway.
46:21
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
46:21
SPEAKER_03: It was black beauty.
46:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
46:23
SPEAKER_03: Please.
46:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's speed.
46:24
SPEAKER_01: It's sexy when you say black beauty.
46:26
SPEAKER_01: Black beauty.
46:27
SPEAKER_01: Black beauties, let me tell you.
46:29
SPEAKER_05: Uh, but so I so so now I'm off them.
46:33
SPEAKER_05: I'm totally sober, and I'm gaining a little weight.
46:36
SPEAKER_05: And guess how little I was?
46:38
SPEAKER_05: 89 when I stopped.
46:39
SPEAKER_05: Oh.
46:40
SPEAKER_05: 89.
46:41
SPEAKER_04: Whoa.
46:42
SPEAKER_04: Tiny.
46:42
SPEAKER_05: So I'm starting to get a little bit of a figure.
46:46
SPEAKER_05: I mean, I was obsessed that my knees were so fat.
46:49
SPEAKER_05: Remember thinking your knees are so big?
46:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
46:52
SPEAKER_05: When I was in big, they're your bones.
46:55
SPEAKER_05: They're your bones, but you don't know that.
46:57
SPEAKER_05: Bones.
46:58
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, but you don't know that.
47:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
47:00
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
47:01
SPEAKER_05: I mean, why can't we just get a little bone weight?
47:04
SPEAKER_03: Excuse me?
47:04
SPEAKER_03: You didn't sand them down.
47:06
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
47:07
SPEAKER_05: But I I always thought, and I always thought my legs were huge too.
47:11
SPEAKER_05: And so when I crossed my legs like you, I wouldn't lay one leg on top.
47:15
SPEAKER_05: I would keep it up so it wouldn't flatten against the other.
47:18
SPEAKER_05: There were poles.
47:20
SPEAKER_05: My arms, I would never have a purse that was a shoulder bag because then your arm would be by your side and would look big.
47:27
SPEAKER_05: It was insane.
47:28
SPEAKER_05: Gotta give me some of those black beauties.
47:29
SPEAKER_01: I'm telling you, these, I mean, but what you're talking about is like think girl women listening now.
47:35
SPEAKER_01: Like this is like top secret.
47:37
SPEAKER_01: Like we think, like it's weird stuff that we total out like arms, legs, like the how it's so it's like a uh the most intricate little parts of eating disorders and body stuff and that capture you for everything.
47:53
SPEAKER_01: That will keep you indoors for three months.
47:56
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
47:56
SPEAKER_01: My neck is fat.
47:57
SPEAKER_01: You're like, what?
47:58
SPEAKER_01: But you never leave your house.
48:00
SPEAKER_03: I never understood any of the stuff that you guys are talking about truly until the last six months.
48:08
SPEAKER_03: I've become really addicted to that feeling, and I'm aware of it, so I don't like But you yes, you are you're looking good.
48:18
SPEAKER_05: You we we we would not have muscles, and guess what?
48:21
SPEAKER_05: I would work out to just to wear not to get muscles, to wear off any calories that I had.
48:28
SPEAKER_05: I would be on the thing.
48:31
SPEAKER_05: But anyway, so when I when I started gaining a little bit of weight, I was like, oh, this is I was like, I don't know, like 98 or something, and I was like, hey, then it dawned on me.
48:43
SPEAKER_05: I thought I got a weird figure.
48:45
SPEAKER_05: My stomach is kind of big, and I don't have any boobs, and my boobs aren't big, but my stomach's a little big.
48:51
SPEAKER_05: Then I just went, You're pregnant.
48:54
SPEAKER_05: And I got pregnant and was missing a period for three months before I knew I was missing it because I never had one.
49:02
SPEAKER_05: Girls, don't have eating disorders, don't fuck around.
49:06
SPEAKER_05: Don't do it, don't do it.
49:07
SPEAKER_05: You know what?
49:08
SPEAKER_05: How did you get over yours?
49:10
SPEAKER_01: How did you I stopped drinking?
49:12
SPEAKER_01: That helps.
49:14
SPEAKER_01: But that was basically I knew I was gonna, I was not good, dude.
49:18
SPEAKER_01: Like my I literally, I'm still missing two teeth in the back of my mouth.
49:21
SPEAKER_05: And I that's our because it eats up, you eat your body.
49:24
SPEAKER_05: I had so many.
49:25
SPEAKER_05: I remember Dennis said to me, You have 26 cavities.
49:28
SPEAKER_05: Have you been eating sugar since the city?
49:31
SPEAKER_01: I had no idea what you were talking about.
49:34
SPEAKER_01: What I lived on, no, when I was not eating, I lived on jelly beans because it's sugar, it's sugar, sugar, like you just yeah, it I don't know what it is, and it's something chemical, obviously, that happens.
49:45
SPEAKER_03: Okay, can I ask this question though?
49:47
SPEAKER_03: Yes, what do you think in internally was the reason you needed to do those things?
49:55
SPEAKER_01: Which part?
49:56
SPEAKER_03: Not eat or yeah, not eat not eat, yeah.
50:00
SPEAKER_03: Like what do you think internally destructive?
50:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I don't think you'd ever really know.
50:05
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's just that well, but you know Is it a self-hate thing?
50:11
SPEAKER_05: I kind of want to take that back, but I don't think mine was self-hate or self-love.
50:16
SPEAKER_05: No, no, it's just what was it?
50:19
SPEAKER_01: It's very personal.
50:20
SPEAKER_05: It's a very hers' is could be extremely different.
50:23
SPEAKER_01: But because mine, like I was anarchy, I tried anorexia and I was like, oh, I'm hungry.
50:27
SPEAKER_01: Like I could, you know what I mean?
50:28
SPEAKER_01: I was always just a pig at everything, like I did everything, and so I found uh bulimia, like bulimia was that was my jam because it was more, it was more harm, it was an action that I could do to release uh all the stuff that I was scared of.
50:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
50:45
SPEAKER_01: A lot of fear, yeah, and a lot of self-hate, a lot of trauma stuff, yeah, just a lot.
50:52
SPEAKER_01: And it was like the first thing where I could control, and it's and you can control it.
50:56
SPEAKER_01: You can control it.
50:58
SPEAKER_01: And so I could control it.
51:00
SPEAKER_01: I could control it.
51:00
SPEAKER_01: What God gave you fingers for?
51:02
SPEAKER_01: I'm telling I still have scars on my knuckles.
51:05
SPEAKER_01: Let me see, let me see.
51:06
SPEAKER_01: It's very faint, like right on tooth, my bait, I had fangs.
51:09
SPEAKER_01: Oh, right here.
51:11
SPEAKER_05: But your face doesn't look bulimia face, you know.
51:14
SPEAKER_01: But it's been a long time, but I've also it's been a I did.
51:17
SPEAKER_01: I was like super thin, but hella bloated and weird.
51:20
SPEAKER_03: Wait, so what's the difference between an eating disorder and bulimia?
51:23
SPEAKER_05: No, it is an eating disorder, it's just anorexia.
51:26
SPEAKER_05: You don't eat.
51:27
SPEAKER_05: See, I was very good at not eating.
51:29
SPEAKER_05: I would make pancakes for my brothers and let me feed you.
51:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
51:35
SPEAKER_01: They love feeding other people.
51:36
SPEAKER_01: I loved that.
51:37
SPEAKER_05: It was like I could feed you.
51:39
SPEAKER_05: That's how I was eating.
51:40
SPEAKER_05: I was eating by giving you food.
51:41
SPEAKER_05: And no, I and also, hey, you you really come to love your smell.
51:46
SPEAKER_05: I could smell food.
51:48
SPEAKER_05: Smelling food was like what you might eat, but I would smell.
51:54
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
51:54
SPEAKER_05: So I would take sweet and low, and I mean, I can make one for you later if you'd want one.
52:00
SPEAKER_01: No, no, sweet and low is always involved in some eating disorder.
52:03
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
52:05
SPEAKER_05: You get a blender, you get some ice, that's no calories.
52:08
SPEAKER_05: Oh my god.
52:09
SPEAKER_05: Some sweet and low, boom, no calories, some chocolate flavoring, and then some um what what was it?
52:18
SPEAKER_05: Powdered milk.
52:20
SPEAKER_05: Oh my god.
52:20
SPEAKER_00: And why is it always incarnation?
52:23
SPEAKER_05: Carnation powdered milk.
52:26
SPEAKER_05: Bam!
52:27
SPEAKER_01: Because in my head, I was like, it's basically french fries.
52:29
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
52:30
SPEAKER_01: No, no, it's crazy that it's not a few years.
52:34
SPEAKER_05: And it smells awful.
52:36
SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
52:37
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so it was no calories, and then I would make a big batch of that.
52:41
SPEAKER_05: That could last, and then you know what I got down to?
52:43
SPEAKER_05: Because I was a lot of numbers for meats, which is a little bit different than bulimio, I would just be like, I can have first I was counting things, but then I got down to nine bites.
52:55
SPEAKER_05: That's what I can have in a day, nine bites.
52:57
SPEAKER_05: So if I if I had some big bites, like of a muffin or something one day, then I would go to sunflower seeds the next day to make sure I was still regimented.
53:08
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
53:08
SPEAKER_01: Wow, the brain space consumes your energy.
53:12
SPEAKER_01: It consumes you.
53:14
SPEAKER_03: How many days did you ever go without eating?
53:17
SPEAKER_05: What would have sunflower seeds?
53:19
SPEAKER_05: I mean, that was years of doing that, but you're so it's a testament to how strong our bodies are.
53:24
SPEAKER_05: That's why you lose teeth because your body is taking the calcium from for itself.
53:30
SPEAKER_05: That's why I'm so shocked.
53:32
SPEAKER_05: They just break.
53:32
SPEAKER_01: That is gone, they would just break out of my mouth.
53:38
SPEAKER_03: The body's like, feed me, bitch.
53:40
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and even the teeth that I have aren't mine, those are all like uh crowns and like yeah, but I think bulimia also does a number on your teeth more than anorex anorexia does.
53:50
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I just had cavities, but you had oh, you're so darling, and look how you pulled yourself together.
53:57
SPEAKER_05: What year were you when you pulled when you were like, I'm done, or you know, I'm gonna, I need help.
54:02
SPEAKER_01: I was like 20, 23.
54:03
SPEAKER_01: It got to 23.
54:05
SPEAKER_05: I was 23.
54:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
54:07
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what it is for women.
54:08
SPEAKER_01: It's I know a lot, it's it's it's wild.
54:10
SPEAKER_01: I know a lot of women, young women, that it's something happens at 23.
54:15
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what it is, where you go, holy shit.
54:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm gonna die.
54:20
SPEAKER_01: Like one, I'm gonna die.
54:21
SPEAKER_01: And I can't, I'm I can't, I don't know how to live.
54:24
SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't know, and I'm out here.
54:26
unknown: Right.
54:27
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
54:27
SPEAKER_01: Because I had nobody anymore.
54:29
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
54:29
SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, and I was out in LA, my whole family's in Kentucky.
54:32
SPEAKER_01: I had no one left.
54:33
SPEAKER_01: Like the one friend I had went back.
54:35
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, it's okay.
54:36
SPEAKER_01: It was me and Willis.
54:36
SPEAKER_01: I had a little dog, Willis, and it was me and Willis and um little Willis, and I was living out of this like farm truck, a Ford Bronco um 1989, Ford Bronco.
54:46
SPEAKER_01: You were living in a me and Willis, and I had my it was you guys, my hair was falling out.
54:52
SPEAKER_03: Hollywood Boulevard.
54:53
SPEAKER_01: No, but it was in the valley over in space.
54:55
SPEAKER_01: In the valley, okay, nice area, and I had extensions because I my hair was falling out because your hair gets really brittle, and so I just kept clipping in.
55:04
SPEAKER_01: And it was so and you're because again, like out of my mind.
55:07
SPEAKER_01: And I've dyed my hair really dark, like almost black.
55:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I bet that looked cute.
55:11
SPEAKER_01: I bet that looked cute.
55:13
SPEAKER_01: Go in here, but I clipped them on the outside of my hair, you know, like you could see the clips.
55:17
SPEAKER_01: It was like like that.
55:17
SPEAKER_01: We're like, are we good?
55:18
SPEAKER_01: Are we what's happening?
55:20
SPEAKER_01: Um, yeah, but and then um so yeah, it just kind of gets no, I'm good.
55:24
SPEAKER_03: No, I know I love you though.
55:26
SPEAKER_01: It's good.
55:26
SPEAKER_01: That's why I love I I love people that are shit well, dude.
55:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm not, but yeah, like I like people with stories.
55:34
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, have some Me too.
55:36
SPEAKER_01: What the fuck's going on with you, dude?
55:37
SPEAKER_01: Like I like people.
55:39
SPEAKER_05: I had my dog, I had my dog Connie, but she not Connie.
55:43
SPEAKER_05: Connie.
55:44
SPEAKER_03: Connie and Rillis would love each other.
55:46
SPEAKER_05: Connie was a Doberman and uh Connie the Doman.
55:49
SPEAKER_05: Connie was a Doberman, and uh, she was a gift.
55:52
SPEAKER_05: So I got a lot of gifts.
55:54
SPEAKER_05: Uh gifts.
55:56
SPEAKER_03: Sugar baby.
55:57
SPEAKER_05: Well, you know, whatever.
55:58
SPEAKER_05: I got I got gifts, and uh, but Connie, I would sometimes, because I wasn't eating, forget to feed her.
56:06
SPEAKER_05: When I want to say often, like that, which wasn't good.
56:10
SPEAKER_05: Like you just I'd be walking her like on Hollywood Boulevard, and if she if there was a French fry or something like on Vivian Lay's star, she would be scarfing it up, and I'd be like, oh my god, dogs have to eat.
56:20
SPEAKER_05: I would just be trying to be thinking that dogs have to eat.
56:23
SPEAKER_05: But what would get shit out of the garbage and stuff for her?
56:26
SPEAKER_05: You know, you always, if I was ever homeless, do you have a plan of if you're homeless?
56:30
SPEAKER_05: Absolutely.
56:31
SPEAKER_05: Where are you going?
56:32
SPEAKER_01: Every time I always think about that.
56:33
SPEAKER_01: Anywhere there's a TV.
56:34
SPEAKER_01: I've thought about where there's public TVs, I'm like, I would stick myself.
56:38
SPEAKER_01: I when I walk at night, I look in people's homes to see like if I'm gonna be too much.
56:41
SPEAKER_01: Where would I like park out to see if I could see like get a clear vision of American Idol?
56:46
SPEAKER_01: Little, that's what I think.
56:47
SPEAKER_05: Wow, and when then what would you do for food?
56:49
SPEAKER_05: I have a plan for food.
56:50
SPEAKER_01: Have you eaten out of the trash?
56:52
SPEAKER_05: 100, of course.
56:53
SPEAKER_05: But where that goes without saying, but who hasn't eaten out of trash?
56:56
SPEAKER_05: But what trash people haven't trash?
57:00
SPEAKER_05: Where would you go?
57:01
SPEAKER_01: Uh yummy.com has a great trash bin.
57:04
SPEAKER_05: I've never even been to yummy.com.
57:06
SPEAKER_05: Right?
57:06
SPEAKER_01: No, no, yummy's like a it's like a convenient, small supermarket.
57:10
SPEAKER_01: They do a lot of deliveries, but they also throw things out immediately and they have a big open dumpster.
57:15
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
57:15
SPEAKER_01: It's in Silver Lake if you're listening to this.
57:18
SPEAKER_05: These are good places to go, yummy.com dumpster.
57:22
SPEAKER_01: Pile them, yeah.
57:23
SPEAKER_01: Anything that's the expired date, they have to throw them out.
57:26
SPEAKER_01: So they're just all sitting there in a dumpster.
57:28
SPEAKER_05: We would not be competing because I'm going to McDonald's.
57:30
SPEAKER_05: Oh, nice.
57:31
SPEAKER_05: Because people often like, I know when I was taking my kids there, like eat your thing and they eat their fries, but they eat, you know, you can't force them to eat.
57:39
SPEAKER_05: So they there's little bits of hamburgers and there's little bits of fries everywhere, and little bits of chicken McNuggets.
57:44
SPEAKER_05: And I know that I could find for sure one good meal in there.
57:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
57:48
SPEAKER_05: And one good meal is all I have today.
57:52
SPEAKER_05: They say breakfast is the most important.
57:54
SPEAKER_05: That's the meal I go for, and then try to just make it to the next work the rest of the day.
57:58
SPEAKER_05: Work the rest of the day.
57:59
SPEAKER_03: But McMuffin in there.
58:00
SPEAKER_05: Oh, I maybe Starbucks too, but people can eat a whole muffin.
58:05
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
58:05
SPEAKER_05: Oh, an egg McMuffin, you're saying?
58:07
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
58:08
SPEAKER_05: But I know, and then French fries, they've proven have so many chemicals, they last a long time.
58:13
SPEAKER_05: So that's good.
58:15
SPEAKER_01: I mean it's good.
58:19
SPEAKER_05: Those are delicious.
58:20
SPEAKER_05: They're delicious.
58:21
SPEAKER_05: They are delicious.
58:22
SPEAKER_05: They are delicious.
58:22
SPEAKER_05: If I could just find half a vanilla milkshake, some fries, and a and uh part of a happy meal, I'm good.
58:31
SPEAKER_03: McDonald's is the place to go.
58:33
SPEAKER_05: I don't need TV.
58:35
SPEAKER_05: So I don't know that you you, I would leave you.
58:38
SPEAKER_05: You're you're thinking you'd still have a car.
58:42
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
58:42
SPEAKER_05: I I'm think, oh wow, we're so oh my god, how did that happen?
58:47
SPEAKER_03: It's we're already done.
58:50
SPEAKER_05: Five minutes.
58:51
SPEAKER_05: Did I say that?
58:51
SPEAKER_05: We have five minutes.
58:52
SPEAKER_05: Oh we have five minutes.
58:54
SPEAKER_05: So let's just cut to something else.
58:56
SPEAKER_01: Um really quickly, I will say what I do love about it though, and like kind of getting your shite together, yeah, is that but like looking at you, looking at you, probably looking at me, people would be like, You're lying.
59:08
SPEAKER_01: Like, there's no way that happened.
59:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I think that's that's what I love.
59:11
SPEAKER_01: Like I do love humans can also really tee me off, but that I do love humans, especially like getting old, you know, you stay alive long enough.
59:20
SPEAKER_01: Yes, everybody's got some shh some stuff behind them.
59:23
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
59:24
SPEAKER_01: I would never guess that about you.
59:26
SPEAKER_01: I would never guess that like when you walk down the street.
59:28
SPEAKER_01: I bet she's thinking about if she were homeless, where would she eat?
59:32
SPEAKER_01: But I do think those things, and I do.
59:34
SPEAKER_01: I do wonder if other people think those things, you know.
59:37
SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
59:38
SPEAKER_05: Write in and let us know where you're gonna be if you're homeless.
59:41
SPEAKER_05: Where where what is what do you have dibs on?
59:46
SPEAKER_05: And I want to just ask you yeah, Chick fil A.
59:49
SPEAKER_05: I've never even been, because isn't it bad?
59:52
SPEAKER_03: It's not great for the gay community, but the food is banging.
59:55
SPEAKER_01: I've heard, I've never been either.
59:56
SPEAKER_03: Food is banging.
59:58
SPEAKER_01: There's always a line.
59:59
SPEAKER_01: Literally, Kentucky, yeah, always a line, dude.
1:00:02
SPEAKER_01: Like how in and out is here, yeah, like that is 100%.
1:00:07
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, damn, y'all weighs for us on chicken.
1:00:10
SPEAKER_05: Well, they love it.
1:00:11
SPEAKER_05: Canes is also good, and I don't think bad for the gay community.
1:00:14
SPEAKER_05: But anyway, Chick fil A for you.
1:00:16
SPEAKER_05: You're gonna be at yummy.com, and you can find me at McDonald's when I there won't be a podcast, but I will be there.
1:00:26
SPEAKER_05: You got every competition over here.
1:00:28
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
1:00:28
SPEAKER_05: Hey, you know what?
1:00:29
SPEAKER_05: My friend's husband, my friend's friend husband left her for a homeless girl, and he was uh doing making money, and he met this girl.
1:00:40
SPEAKER_05: She was a heroin adequate, she was cute.
1:00:43
SPEAKER_05: Girls, cuteness counts.
1:00:45
SPEAKER_05: I don't care what they tell you, cuteness counts.
1:00:47
SPEAKER_05: He bought her teeth, she didn't have any teeth.
1:00:49
SPEAKER_05: He got her a whole set.
1:00:51
SPEAKER_05: He she was grateful.
1:00:53
SPEAKER_05: Well, she had other cute things, and she got off heroin and was so nice to him, and they're happily married, but he just passed her on the bus state on the bus stop every day back from work.
1:01:03
SPEAKER_05: Back from work, there she was, and just talk about a meet cute.
1:01:07
SPEAKER_03: Wait, they're still together.
1:01:08
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, they're still together.
1:01:10
SPEAKER_05: Wow, that's sweet.
1:01:11
SPEAKER_05: So I'm I'm hoping that when I'm digging through the trash at McDonald's, yeah, do you know what I mean?
1:01:16
SPEAKER_05: Let's not manifest that.
1:01:17
SPEAKER_05: I mean Mr.
1:01:18
SPEAKER_05: Wright.
1:01:22
SPEAKER_05: You know what?
1:01:23
SPEAKER_05: You can always meet your match, my friend.
1:01:25
SPEAKER_05: Listen to this, then this is a good thing to end on.
1:01:28
SPEAKER_05: And then, of course, we're gonna end with Sarah.
1:01:30
SPEAKER_05: But she got cancer, she had a fiance, she lived in Orange County, he couldn't roll with the cancer, and you know what?
1:01:39
SPEAKER_05: You have to do what's good for you.
1:01:40
SPEAKER_05: But he so he dumped her because it just was too hard for him, okay?
1:01:45
SPEAKER_05: So then she had to go back home to Vermont.
1:01:48
SPEAKER_05: She lost all her hair, she turned yellow, she was awful.
1:01:51
SPEAKER_05: She was in the hospital, back living with her parents and being back home and living in her childhood bedroom, then living in the hospital.
1:01:58
SPEAKER_05: The doctor that took care of her was a guy who had a crush on her in like the fourth grade and was so happy to see her.
1:02:07
SPEAKER_05: He killed her, they got married.
1:02:09
SPEAKER_03: That is incredible.
1:02:13
SPEAKER_05: It can happen every bugged story, it can happen.
1:02:17
SPEAKER_05: It can happen.
1:02:18
SPEAKER_05: Join me in dreamland, but it can happen, and you could meet some darling if something happened to your are you married, your wife?
1:02:26
SPEAKER_05: But and I've got a husband too.
1:02:28
SPEAKER_05: But I'm just saying, if they're taken off in the in the zombie apocalypse, you could meet another cute girl at yummy.com.
1:02:35
SPEAKER_05: Yummy.com.
1:02:36
SPEAKER_05: Sarah will be there.
1:02:37
SPEAKER_01: And she's gonna be some painting story.
1:02:40
SPEAKER_01: It would be that, like, yeah.
1:02:41
SPEAKER_01: Oh for sure.
1:02:42
SPEAKER_01: I never go for anyone normal.
1:02:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
1:02:45
SPEAKER_01: Like, have you been in prison when you want to go out, or like what's going on?
1:02:48
SPEAKER_05: Black what's going on how long have you seen it?
1:02:50
SPEAKER_05: Or just the new black.
1:02:51
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
1:02:51
SPEAKER_05: No, I'm not sure.
1:02:51
SPEAKER_05: She's like I stabbed my wife, and you're like, oh, so you're single.
1:02:55
SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, tell me everything.
1:02:57
SPEAKER_01: I've been on dates with normal people like that, and I I can't get I can't get them.
1:03:01
SPEAKER_01: I like literally, like, I'm they're wonderful, they're great, but I I can't I'm four nine years.
1:03:07
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, have you done anything?
1:03:09
SPEAKER_01: Have you like ever been like to Juvie when you were a kid?
1:03:12
SPEAKER_01: Or like anybody in your family been killed?
1:03:15
SPEAKER_01: Like, I just yeah, that's that's the interest.
1:03:18
SPEAKER_05: That's the interest level.
1:03:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I like a little off.
1:03:21
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, just a little off.
1:03:23
SPEAKER_01: And that's my jam.
1:03:24
SPEAKER_05: Well, where can people find you, Sarah?
1:03:26
SPEAKER_05: Because she is an amazing painter as well as performance artist, as well as comic, as well as supermodel.
1:03:32
SPEAKER_05: Okay, here she is.
1:03:33
SPEAKER_05: Where can they find you if they're looking for?
1:03:37
SPEAKER_01: I don't know is it Sarah Highland?
1:03:39
SPEAKER_01: Sarah Rose Highland on Instagram.
1:03:42
SPEAKER_01: I'm on YouTube.
1:03:43
SPEAKER_01: Sarah Rose Highland is a it's across the board.
1:03:45
SPEAKER_01: Just look at Sarah Rose Highland and you'll find and they will find you.
1:03:48
SPEAKER_05: Okay, good.
1:03:49
SPEAKER_05: And don't you have a show coming up in October?
1:03:51
SPEAKER_01: I do, yeah.
1:03:52
SPEAKER_01: I have a I have an art show actually, a collaboration with my wife, who is a brilliant photographer.
1:03:58
SPEAKER_05: Jen.
1:03:58
SPEAKER_01: So you've you know Jen.
1:04:00
SPEAKER_01: She's amazing.
1:04:01
SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, we have a uh a solo show called uh The Family Portrait.
1:04:06
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so but it's a basically a collaboration of her her uh prints, like her portrait photography.
1:04:13
SPEAKER_01: Can you cut any?
1:04:14
SPEAKER_01: There's so many P words.
1:04:16
SPEAKER_01: Like photography, portraits, help prevent.
1:04:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
1:04:21
SPEAKER_01: Um and and it's my paintings of those portraits.
1:04:25
SPEAKER_01: So it's a whole collaboration.
1:04:26
SPEAKER_01: Like I've I art direct them, set them up, she takes the photo, and then I paint them.
1:04:30
SPEAKER_05: So where do you where is that gonna be at?
1:04:32
SPEAKER_01: It's in Silver Lake, it's 2413 Hyperion is the actual name of the gallery.
1:04:37
SPEAKER_01: So Okay, oh it's a gallery.
1:04:40
SPEAKER_05: Oh my god.
1:04:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, come October 15th.
1:04:41
SPEAKER_01: It's maybe the fun thing about it.
1:04:43
SPEAKER_01: So it's so there, the audience there there's a there's a give component, so you get to take away something, which is fun, that you'll get to create your own family portrait.
1:04:51
SPEAKER_01: Like there's a gonna be a set, we'll set up a scene for you that you can get in and take your own so you can take it as that.
1:04:58
SPEAKER_01: I'm doing that, I'm doing that, I'm doing that.
1:05:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so you can be a part of it and like create your own stuff.
1:05:05
SPEAKER_05: See, we're damaged, but we are not broken.
1:05:07
SPEAKER_05: No, no, we are artists, we are creating, and you can create your tomorrow, whatever you've been through, whatever you've been through.
1:05:14
SPEAKER_05: Tomorrow is a new day, and you can change the course of your life any old day of the week.
1:05:19
SPEAKER_05: We've done it, you could do it.
1:05:21
SPEAKER_05: I didn't do it with willpower.
1:05:23
SPEAKER_05: Willpower I did not have.
1:05:25
SPEAKER_05: I didn't even know who the father of my kids were.
1:05:27
SPEAKER_05: And guess here I am today.
1:05:30
SPEAKER_05: Here I am today.
1:05:31
SPEAKER_05: He shot up speed by himself.
1:05:35
SPEAKER_05: Look at that arm.
1:05:36
SPEAKER_05: And look how good he looks.
1:05:38
SPEAKER_05: And this is an amazing artist.
1:05:40
SPEAKER_05: You can bounce back.
1:05:41
SPEAKER_05: You can bounce back.
1:05:42
SPEAKER_05: Thank you so much for joining us.
1:05:44
SPEAKER_05: Thank you, Sarah.
1:05:44
SPEAKER_05: Thanks for having me.
1:05:46
SPEAKER_05: So fun.
1:05:47
SPEAKER_05: And Colin, I love you.
1:05:48
SPEAKER_05: Thank you for being a guest host.
1:05:50
SPEAKER_05: You were darling.
1:05:51
SPEAKER_03: Was that too loud?
1:05:51
SPEAKER_03: Was I too loud?
1:05:52
SPEAKER_03: No, you were wonderful.
1:05:53
SPEAKER_05: You were perfect.
1:05:54
SPEAKER_05: You were perfect in every way.
1:05:55
SPEAKER_05: And thank you so much.
1:05:56
SPEAKER_05: We'll see you again next time.
1:05:58
SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
1:05:58
SPEAKER_05: Bye.