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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: You Deserve to Be Appreciated · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Hey, hurdlers, Emily Abadi. Here you are listening to five
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  Speaker 1: Minute Friday. The gist. I offer a story, I share
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: a thought prompt to take you into the weekend, then
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: offer up my highlights of the week. My content picks
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: things that I am interested in, things that I really
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: feel like you should know about. I'll be honest, this
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  Speaker 1: week felt entirely super productive and also like very stalled,
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  Speaker 1: as if everything I wanted to do took double as long,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: but I still somehow managed to get a lot done.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Anybody else feel that way? Anyway? This week we're five
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  Speaker 1: Minute Friday. I am talking about appreciation. You know, I
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: went to Summer Camp for fifteen years of my life.
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  Speaker 1: I feel like such a nerd when I say that.
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  Speaker 1: Sometimes I was there from ages six to twenty one. Casually,
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  Speaker 1: of course, from six to fifteen I was a camper,
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  Speaker 1: and from sixteen to twenty one I was on staff
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  Speaker 1: as a counselor and then a division head and then
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  Speaker 1: as a programming director. And so at Summer Camp, when
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  Speaker 1: you were on staff, you always went a week early
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  Speaker 1: for orientation and to get the camp ready and do
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  Speaker 1: all the logistical stuff. And I remember that part of
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  Speaker 1: the orientation on the very first day, we would always
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  Speaker 1: file into the mess hall and go through this helpful
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  Speaker 1: like pamphlet, so to speak. And in the pamphlet it
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  Speaker 1: covered a lot of stuff, literally, everything from emergency precautions
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  Speaker 1: to navigating tough situations with campers. There was this list
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  Speaker 1: of phrases that were supposed to help counselors and superiors
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  Speaker 1: communicate more clearly and effectively. And I'll never forget in
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  Speaker 1: one of those orientations, it was in the summer of
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  Speaker 1: two thousand and eight, and we were going through this
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  Speaker 1: pamphlet and someone highlighted one of the phrases, which was
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  Speaker 1: I appreciate you. And I remember at the time like
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  Speaker 1: we all laughed because this phrase sounded really stiff, right,
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  Speaker 1: and a little odd. I was nineteen, and thinking back
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  Speaker 1: on that time, I'm not all that sure if someone
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  Speaker 1: ever said that phrase to me, just like, point blank,
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  Speaker 1: like that up until that point in my life, and
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  Speaker 1: so in the months and the years that followed, I
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  Speaker 1: always thought about that moment and that phrase, and it
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  Speaker 1: stuck with me, and with time I started to use
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  Speaker 1: it a lot in my regular rotation, especially in recent years,
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  Speaker 1: with friends and colleagues and family, just period. There's a
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  Speaker 1: reason for the story. I'm going to bring it to
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  Speaker 1: the now. So basically, as I mentioned a few weeks ago,
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  Speaker 1: a lot of my good friends are leaving New York,
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  Speaker 1: and so because of this, I've been dedicating some of
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  Speaker 1: my free time to working on existing relationships that I
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  Speaker 1: have with friends that are here in New York to stay,
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  Speaker 1: if maybe only for now, and going on what I'll
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  Speaker 1: call friend dates, so to speak. I've been going to
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  Speaker 1: dinners and going running and having coffee that kind of stuff,
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  Speaker 1: of course, all safe and socially distanced. Anyway, Like I said,
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  Speaker 1: some of these friends have had for a while, but
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  Speaker 1: they've been more casual relationships without a lot of one
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  Speaker 1: on one time and other friendships. They're newer, but we've
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  Speaker 1: known of each other for a while and we just
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  Speaker 1: decided one of us decided to reach out, whatever the
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  Speaker 1: situation might be. On each and every friend date, I've
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  Speaker 1: had to get super vulnerable, and I recognize that in
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  Speaker 1: order to grow and in order to foster these new
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  Speaker 1: relationships and take them to where I hope that they go,
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  Speaker 1: that's vital. During all of these friend dates, both parties
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  Speaker 1: definitely came forward and admitted that they were struggling with
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  Speaker 1: some of the same things we would agree about, tough
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  Speaker 1: stuff about men and friendships and feeling lonely and hopes
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  Speaker 1: and expectations for the year and years to come. And
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  Speaker 1: literally after leaving each and every friend date, I followed
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  Speaker 1: up to tell each and everyone the same important phrase,
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  Speaker 1: I appreciate you to be honest, it's really freaking scary.
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  Speaker 1: Friend dating is scary. You know, you're nervous to open
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  Speaker 1: up to new people, knowing that they could also leave,
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  Speaker 1: and also knowing that they may not share after this
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  Speaker 1: experience the same feeling or attitude about getting closer. I
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  Speaker 1: also recognize that at the same time, that vulnerability again
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  Speaker 1: is important to establishing that true relationship that I'm looking for.
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  Speaker 1: And again, I'm not looking for like twenty new best friends.
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  Speaker 1: I'm just seeking to affirm some good relationships and feel
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  Speaker 1: really secure here in New York. So that means that
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  Speaker 1: I have to accept the risk of getting vulnerable. So
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  Speaker 1: I'll bring it full circle this past Monday, I had
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  Speaker 1: gone on a friend date on Sunday night, and so
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  Speaker 1: I woke up on Monday morning. I'm writing in my
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  Speaker 1: journal it's like just before six in the morning, as
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  Speaker 1: I do. And I looked up from the page and
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  Speaker 1: I saw the sun on the avenue and I just
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  Speaker 1: had this moment where I took this deep sigh and
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  Speaker 1: I wrote it down, I appreciate you. And that wasn't
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  Speaker 1: for someone else. That was for me, because I think
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  Speaker 1: that although it's scary, and although it can feel like
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  Speaker 1: a lot, I am making a lot of positive progress
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  Speaker 1: right now. And I am at a point where I'm
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  Speaker 1: willing to put myself out there. I'm willing to open
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  Speaker 1: myself up to the new and you know what, I
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  Speaker 1: think that's pretty damn special. My prompt for you this week,
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  Speaker 1: are you willing to show up and be seen when
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  Speaker 1: you can't control the outcome? Again, are you willing to
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  Speaker 1: show up and be seen when you can't control the outcome?
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  Speaker 1: If not, what's stopping you? Highlights of the week. Links
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  Speaker 1: to all this stuff can be found in the episode
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: description in the show notes. Listen very appropriate here Oprah's
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  Speaker 1: Super Soul Conversations with Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability.
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  Speaker 1: Wednesday morning of this week, it was absolute perfection here
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  Speaker 1: in New York, and I decided to walk with my
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  Speaker 1: coffee over to the East River and I listened to
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  Speaker 1: this episode of the podcast while I was doing that,
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  Speaker 1: and it really resonated with me, especially because again, this
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  Speaker 1: idea of vulnerability is something I keep going back to
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  Speaker 1: time and time again, especially as of late. In the episode,
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  Speaker 1: Brene talks about the myths of vulnerability. She explains why
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  Speaker 1: vulnerability means being truthful to who we are, and she
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  Speaker 1: also offers up examples of how to integrate vulnerability into
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  Speaker 1: your everyday life. Ten out of ten would recommend check
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: out read Jerry Seinfeld. So you think New York is dead?
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  Speaker 1: I'm getting pretty New York centric here in this episode
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  Speaker 1: of Five Minute Friday. But this article was circulating this week,
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  Speaker 1: and I would be surprised if you have injected out already.
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  Speaker 1: I mean, someone every day somewhere is writing some sort
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  Speaker 1: of love letter or like I'm leaving New York essay.
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  Speaker 1: I just appreciated this for what it is as someone
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  Speaker 1: that's sticking it out here. He wrote in there you
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  Speaker 1: think Rome is going away to London, Tokyo, the East Village,
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  Speaker 1: They're not. They change, they mutate, they reform because greatness
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  Speaker 1: is rare, and the true greatness that is New York
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  Speaker 1: City is beyond rare. Listen this week an album I
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: just cannot get enough of Chapter two by Juke Ross.
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  Speaker 1: I saw a friend post this on Instagram last week,
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  Speaker 1: and so I checked it out and I have had
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  Speaker 1: it on repeat ever since. The acoustic tracks, specifically my
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  Speaker 1: favorites are Drifting Apart and someone to Die for. So
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: many feels, so many feels. Donate this week Justice for
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: Jacob Blake. It's been heavy this week. I'm not going
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: to get into exactly what's going on to Kenosha here.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I'll put a link in the show notes where you
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: can click on over and read all about it. But
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: a lot of people are hurting right now. And Jacob
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  Speaker 1: Blake's mother set up this go fundme to help his
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  Speaker 1: family navigate medical expenses and pay for grief counseling, among
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  Speaker 1: other financial burdens. And if you have the means, I
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: definitely definitely encourage you to click on over there. And
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: the last thing to talk about this week if you
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: are interested in this coming Tuesday's hurdle session Handling Hurdle Moments.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: There are a few spots left, and I would love
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: for you to join this interactive workshop. It's a little
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: different than the other hurdle sessions in which for those
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: you can certainly purchase and buy after the fact. This
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: is an interactive workshop, which means that if you are
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: free on Wednesday night and Wednesday night only, then you
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: can take this particular session a little more insight into
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: what it is. It's about showing up to challenge, right.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, I get emails every single day from listeners
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: navigating their own hurdle moments, and those can look very different, right,
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  Speaker 1: from injuries and breakups to job shifts and family troubles.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: And as lonely as it may feel to go through
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: these hard times, the fact is that you are never
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: alone in whatever challenge you may be going through. So
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: this interact to small group workshop it covers how to
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: show up to the unexpected with grace and emerge from
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: those hurdle moments with a deeper understanding of self. I
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: would love for you to join me if you can't
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  Speaker 1: make it this Wednesday, but are interested in taking the
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: Handling Hurdle Moments session. I will be off it once
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  Speaker 1: a month going forward. It makes me so excited and
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  Speaker 1: I'm just really looking forward to what this unlocks for
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  Speaker 1: the hurdle community. And that's it for this week. If
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  Speaker 1: you have any feedback, comments, concerns, questions. You love what
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: you're listening to, I want to hear all of it.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Reach out to me over on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, at
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Hurdle Podcast, at Emily Body. If you have a hurdle
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: moment of your own to share, or just want to
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: say hi, it's Emily at hurdle dot us. Another hurdle conquered.
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  Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time.