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S4 E19 - Profiles in Cowardice · The Steve & Jeff Show

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Steve and Jeff Show, the number one comedy podcast at Steve's mom's house.
0:07
SPEAKER_00: That is be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: Write us a review while you're there too.
0:18
SPEAKER_00: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
0:23
SPEAKER_01: Well, hey Johnny, thanks for bringing us into the show.
0:26
SPEAKER_01: And it, I tell you, it's award season.
0:28
SPEAKER_01: And Johnny, if they had awards for announcers for podcasts who sound a little over the top and are usually drunk, you'd win.
0:36
SPEAKER_01: You'd be a shoe-in.
0:37
SPEAKER_01: How's it going, Jeff?
0:39
SPEAKER_02: It's going good.
0:40
SPEAKER_02: I'm in Florida, as you know.
0:41
SPEAKER_02: Ah, sunny Florida.
0:43
SPEAKER_02: Cool, but sunny.
0:44
SPEAKER_02: We were gonna go to Minnesota, but which is cool.
0:48
SPEAKER_02: I hear the weather isn't great.
0:49
SPEAKER_02: It's sunny, but I hear the weather hasn't been great.
0:52
SPEAKER_02: Most people are staying indoors, but what about you?
0:54
SPEAKER_02: A lot of ice hazards.
0:55
SPEAKER_01: Is there ice buildup?
0:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's ice buildup and a lot of ice hazard there.
1:00
SPEAKER_01: So uh a lot of people are staying indoors.
1:02
SPEAKER_01: You know, I've been traveling a bit too, you know.
1:03
SPEAKER_01: I was in fact just recently I just got back, I was back in Southern California again.
1:08
SPEAKER_01: You know, is that that airport, not not LAX, is it the one named after the cowboy actor, you know, Randolph Scott Airport?
1:14
SPEAKER_01: Except, you know what?
1:15
SPEAKER_01: While I was there, I made him a deal.
1:17
SPEAKER_01: Because you know, I'm I'm Mr.
1:18
SPEAKER_01: Ardeal here, you know.
1:19
SPEAKER_01: I made him a deal.
1:20
SPEAKER_01: I went to the airport authority there, and I said that I would pay for a first class upgrade if they changed the name to Steve Airport.
1:29
SPEAKER_01: Actually, I do that every time I fly.
1:31
SPEAKER_01: The problem is that I do that every time I fly.
1:34
SPEAKER_01: So I wind up flying from Steve Airport to Steve Airport.
1:38
SPEAKER_01: So I'm I'm doing the booking.
1:40
SPEAKER_01: It's like you want to go from Steve Airport to Steve Airport, they go, oh, wait, wait.
1:43
SPEAKER_01: Now you're confused.
1:44
SPEAKER_01: But I digress.
1:45
SPEAKER_01: Just one other thing about Minnesota.
1:47
SPEAKER_02: The one thing that I I did think about when we were thinking about going there is that you know what's really dangerous is black ice.
1:54
SPEAKER_02: And there's not any black ice in Minneapolis.
1:57
SPEAKER_02: Not that I see, not on the no, I don't think there's any black or even brownish ice, you know, there's really not a whole lot of that either.
2:05
SPEAKER_02: So that's nice.
2:06
SPEAKER_02: So, yeah, we may go to uh Minneapolis at some point anyway.
2:10
SPEAKER_02: So, anything else going on?
2:11
SPEAKER_01: You know, you talk about staying indoors.
2:13
SPEAKER_01: Staying indoors is quite popular this time of year in Omaha, too.
2:16
SPEAKER_01: But thinking about Minnesota, you know, we of course we have we have listeners all over the world, Jeff.
2:21
SPEAKER_01: You know, and we have, of course, listeners in Minnesota.
2:23
SPEAKER_01: One of our listeners sent something interesting in, and as I'd mentioned at the at the open, you know, we're in movie award season.
2:30
SPEAKER_01: I love a set of awards.
2:34
SPEAKER_01: This Minnesota listener set in.
2:36
SPEAKER_01: They were going to host it at the Kennedy Center, but then they realized nobody would go, right?
2:41
SPEAKER_01: So it's it's an organization that honors Americans who resist the constant pressure to do the right thing and bravely persist in perpetuating perversion of the Constitution and the rule of law.
2:54
SPEAKER_01: I am so glad that we have organizations that award awards like this.
2:58
SPEAKER_01: It's a good thing to recognize persistence and focus.
3:02
SPEAKER_01: Who knows?
3:02
SPEAKER_01: We may be able to sponsor it next year.
3:04
SPEAKER_01: Kennedy Center's gonna be closed for a while, you know.
3:06
SPEAKER_01: Should we let our listeners in on it?
3:08
SPEAKER_01: We should.
3:09
SPEAKER_02: There's a perfect candidate that I just heard about today.
3:11
SPEAKER_02: Is his name Lupnik?
3:13
SPEAKER_02: Lupnick?
3:14
SPEAKER_02: Uh I think it's Nutlick.
3:16
SPEAKER_01: Nutlick is Lut something.
3:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because he I I think he said that he had nothing to do with Epstein Island, and then turns out you know that he did, and he's completely denying it still.
3:31
SPEAKER_02: And I that just takes courage.
3:33
SPEAKER_02: It does to do that.
3:34
SPEAKER_01: It takes us to say I knew nothing about it when they've got a brick with his, you know, he you buy bricks to raise money for you know churches or whatever.
3:43
SPEAKER_01: They got a brick with his name on it in front of Epstein's house.
3:46
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, no, it's yeah.
3:47
SPEAKER_01: I mean, yeah, I think he knew a little about it, but and this award series, this set of awards, is named after that great patriot Lindsey Graham.
3:56
SPEAKER_01: It's called the 2025 Lindsey Graham Profile Encourage Award.
4:01
SPEAKER_01: Now, it really might be more like a profile in cowardice, because that's really what the awards are for.
4:09
SPEAKER_01: This is actually the sixth annual award in this category.
4:12
SPEAKER_01: And who's and who's won them in the past?
4:14
SPEAKER_01: I there's so many people.
4:15
SPEAKER_01: Graham was the first winner, but let me describe the award a little bit, given to the person or persons who stand head and shoulders above everyone else as a symbol of the courage and the strength that it really takes to resist doing what's right.
4:31
SPEAKER_01: And instead just stubbornly choosing to do what is best for the king.
4:35
SPEAKER_01: And of course, themselves, regardless of the damage to the country or anyone else, because they don't really care.
4:41
SPEAKER_01: The award was created to honor Lindsey Graham, who really, of course, has gone above and beyond in surrendering any little bit of self-respect he may have had in politics or life, and thereby making him, he's of course a perfect servant and slave to our king.
4:57
SPEAKER_01: Unlike most people, though, Mr.
4:59
SPEAKER_01: Graham is more than willing to be humiliated in various ways.
5:03
SPEAKER_01: As long as he can retain the status, money, position in Congress, yeah, he doesn't care, you know.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: We can think of no one more worthy of this award.
5:12
SPEAKER_01: Although this year there are quite a few candidates who might eventually be worthy of their own award should they keep up the good work in the coming years.
5:18
SPEAKER_01: Now, you were asking about previous winners.
5:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, who else has won?
5:22
SPEAKER_01: Well, this award began in 2020 with, of course, the titular, and that's not a sexual euphemism.
5:28
SPEAKER_01: No.
5:29
SPEAKER_01: The titular, Lindsay Graham.
5:31
SPEAKER_01: 2021, Lindsay was a contender again, but the award went that year to Ted Cruz because he had the courage to run from a hurricane and go to Mexico of all places while he's slamming Mexicans.
5:47
SPEAKER_01: He went to Mexico for a vacation and avoided a hurricane in Texas.
5:50
SPEAKER_02: So now that's courage.
5:52
SPEAKER_02: And then he came back and he was proud.
5:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, proudly stood up and said that he had not really done that, but he had done it.
6:01
SPEAKER_02: Makes me shake to think about how courageous he was to deny any responsibility for what he did.
6:10
SPEAKER_01: You know, the following year, 2022, was a tie.
6:13
SPEAKER_01: It was the first year it's a tie.
6:15
SPEAKER_01: There may be ties going forward here, but that was the first year there's actually a tie.
6:18
SPEAKER_01: It was two governors won that year.
6:21
SPEAKER_01: Texas's own little Gregie Abbott and Florida, well, you're where you are right now, Florida's own little Ronnie DeSantis.
6:29
SPEAKER_01: And they won, and I'm sure you remember this, they won because they had the courage to human traffic people to ship illegals to other states and commit human trafficking just to own the libs.
6:42
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, what guts.
6:44
SPEAKER_01: Unbelievable.
6:45
SPEAKER_01: Kind of puts Ted Cruz to shame.
6:47
SPEAKER_01: It does the previous year.
6:49
SPEAKER_02: I feel like it's like it's getting better every year.
6:52
SPEAKER_01: Oh, you just waited.
6:53
SPEAKER_01: It got 2023.
6:54
SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you.
6:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
6:55
SPEAKER_01: You know who you know the winner of 2023?
6:58
SPEAKER_01: George Santos.
7:00
SPEAKER_02: The George Santos.
7:02
SPEAKER_01: Well, one of the many George Santoses.
7:04
SPEAKER_01: He won because he had the guts to lie about everything.
7:10
SPEAKER_01: I mean, is there even a George Santos?
7:13
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we don't know, right?
7:14
SPEAKER_01: I mean, he lied about everything.
7:16
SPEAKER_01: This guy is like an indie movie.
7:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean, he made it all up, you know, what the heck?
7:22
SPEAKER_01: So and then last year, 2024, uh, winner, former congressman Matt Gates.
7:28
SPEAKER_01: Uh, because he showed incredible courage by getting an underage girl drunk and paying her money to sleep with him.
7:38
SPEAKER_01: He kind of set the tone for that entire party.
7:42
SPEAKER_02: One of the things he said was when they challenged him, he says, Well, at least I didn't take her to an island.
7:47
SPEAKER_01: Well, there you go.
7:48
SPEAKER_01: Might have taken her to Long Island or something.
7:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he might have.
7:52
SPEAKER_01: Those are five very worthy people to get the words.
7:55
SPEAKER_01: I guess six with the tie.
7:57
SPEAKER_01: We've got so many worthy people, but they wanted to give some honorable mentions.
8:02
unknown: Oh.
8:02
SPEAKER_01: Because there are just so many that are destroying any credibility they may have had to protect their king.
8:10
SPEAKER_01: It's stunning.
8:11
SPEAKER_01: There are a bunch of honorable mentions here that I just want to touch on these before we get to the winner.
8:16
SPEAKER_01: Of course, there can only be one winner, but first honorable mention, this is my own congressman, Mike Flood from Nebraska One, as political junkies say.
8:25
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes they say anyone.
8:27
SPEAKER_01: Ooh, and then it's like anyone, right?
8:29
SPEAKER_01: But you know, but so Mike Flood, good old little Mikey Flood, he has just about finished his 12-week smiling course.
8:38
SPEAKER_01: He's getting better at it.
8:40
SPEAKER_01: He got an honorable mention for standing up in public and claiming to support the Constitution and the rule of law, yet doing absolutely nothing, as each of them are trashed on the daily by his favorite president.
8:54
SPEAKER_01: That takes courage.
8:55
SPEAKER_01: That's courage.
8:56
SPEAKER_01: Very worthy.
8:57
SPEAKER_01: There's so many that are just coming to mind.
8:59
SPEAKER_01: Another tie here, because this is really for the same event.
9:03
SPEAKER_01: So it's not really a tie.
9:05
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's an honorable mention.
9:06
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you can tie in an honorable mention, but a couple of senators, Lisa Murkowski and Susan Collins.
9:13
SPEAKER_01: They deserve honorable mention for showing that deep concern about an issue.
9:17
SPEAKER_01: You can wrinkle your brow, you can say that you're concerned, and that lets you avoid doing anything at all.
9:24
SPEAKER_01: You can avoid taking any action whatsoever.
9:26
SPEAKER_01: Just I'm concerned.
9:27
SPEAKER_01: And there's an expression.
9:31
SPEAKER_01: Oh, there is.
9:32
SPEAKER_01: There is indeed.
9:33
SPEAKER_02: One that I I think I don't know if it's listed here is uh Congressman Jim Jordan.
9:38
SPEAKER_02: Oh, like in some ways, that would be a lifetime achievement award.
9:43
SPEAKER_02: Because he's been doing this stuff since he was a wrestler at the Ohio University, right?
9:50
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
9:50
SPEAKER_02: He has walked the talk.
9:53
SPEAKER_01: And he's talk to walk, too.
9:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
9:54
SPEAKER_02: He's talk to walk.
9:55
SPEAKER_01: So he's worthy too.
9:57
SPEAKER_01: Anyone else you see?
9:58
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes.
9:59
SPEAKER_01: That wonderful humanitarian, Tom Homan.
10:02
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
10:03
SPEAKER_01: He gets an honorable mention for using a Mediterranean restaurant bag to accept a bribe while he's deporting Mediterranean people.
10:15
SPEAKER_01: And he deserves two honorable mentions here for asking for only$50,000 in bribes when his boss is getting billions in bribes.
10:24
SPEAKER_01: Tommy, Tobby, Toby.
10:25
SPEAKER_01: Well worthy of the honorable mention.
10:27
SPEAKER_02: A tricky one.
10:28
SPEAKER_02: I this is one where you have to kind of connect the dots, is Marjorie Taylor Green.
10:34
SPEAKER_02: Because on one hand, Marjorie Taylor Green was the cheerleader for some of the worst things that have happened in this country since the beginning of the country.
10:45
SPEAKER_02: But she also knew how to jump off the wagon to act as though she is actually not the worst person in the world.
10:55
SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, they do have that saying something about a certain animal and certain watercraft, something like that.
11:02
SPEAKER_01: You know, but yeah, but I digress.
11:04
SPEAKER_01: I got a couple more here, too.
11:06
SPEAKER_01: Please.
11:06
SPEAKER_01: Honorable mention to White House Press Secretary Caroline Levitt for well for everything she does.
11:14
SPEAKER_01: It's hard to pick one thing, it's a continuum.
11:17
SPEAKER_01: Another good one here, Arvind Krishna, who may not be a household name, but he is the CEO of IBM.
11:24
SPEAKER_01: And he got an honorable mention because he hid behind what AI may do in ten years to justify thousands of layoffs now.
11:33
SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, he really should share that, and hopefully in his acceptance speech, he will say, I share this with every other tech CEO, because they're all doing the same thing.
11:41
SPEAKER_01: Sure.
11:42
SPEAKER_01: But they had to pick somebody, they picked him.
11:44
SPEAKER_01: Least but not last, I mean, wait, last but not least, our own speaker of the house, gosh, little Mikey Johnson.
11:53
SPEAKER_01: Uh boy.
11:54
SPEAKER_01: He got an honorable mention because very few people can pull off what he has done.
12:00
SPEAKER_01: He's afraid to know anything about anything, unless a reporter asked him about it, and he can't convincingly say that he doesn't know anything about it.
12:09
SPEAKER_01: And then what courage it takes to parrot the king's words verbatim.
12:14
SPEAKER_01: Somebody could sue him for plagiarism, probably.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: There's nobody that can adjourn whenever he gets in trouble.
12:20
SPEAKER_01: The courage to leave Congress out of session all that time.
12:24
SPEAKER_02: Even when he is confronted with it, I mean, he is the definition of this.
12:28
SPEAKER_02: He basically says out front, we don't have much of a majority, so every time we get in trouble, I just adjourn.
12:36
SPEAKER_01: One thing I like about little Mikey, though, is you know, when he's lying, which is pretty much every time you see him talk, he's got that nervous tick.
12:45
SPEAKER_01: You can always tell he's lying.
12:46
SPEAKER_01: He looks down, then he does this thing.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and then it's it's wild.
12:52
SPEAKER_01: You know, you watch, oh, you're lying, Mikey.
12:55
SPEAKER_01: See, but that's why the entire world doesn't know this, right?
12:58
SPEAKER_02: Come on.
12:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think that's why he did he's not in the top ten because of that tick.
13:02
SPEAKER_02: I'm I'm with a little work, some practice, and maybe a medical procedure, he'll come off completely void of any guilt.
13:10
SPEAKER_02: Then he's talking about playing with the big boys.
13:12
SPEAKER_02: Yes, and when I say playing with the big boys, I I that is a sexual euphemism.
13:16
SPEAKER_01: Yes, it is a sexual euphemism.
13:18
SPEAKER_01: I understand, yes.
13:19
SPEAKER_02: So that's a wonderful list in itself.
13:21
SPEAKER_02: That could be a top 10 list.
13:22
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
13:23
SPEAKER_02: And any other year that might have been that could have been lists.
13:27
SPEAKER_01: As I said at the beginning, could only have one winner.
13:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so there are 10 nominees, just like best picture.
13:33
SPEAKER_01: You know, there are 10 nominees, right?
13:35
SPEAKER_01: Only one winner.
13:37
SPEAKER_01: So you're gonna start with the the 10th place.
13:39
SPEAKER_01: Let me move the list over.
13:41
SPEAKER_01: Well, it's trade-off.
13:42
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I don't want to do all these.
13:43
SPEAKER_01: Why don't you you start number 10?
13:45
SPEAKER_01: Really, what we're trying to demonstrate here is this isn't about parties, it's about cowardice and courage.
13:52
SPEAKER_02: I mean, courage.
13:53
SPEAKER_02: It's totally about courage.
13:55
SPEAKER_02: Uh, number 10 was Senator Chuck Schumer.
13:58
SPEAKER_02: Ah, let me see what it says about Chuck.
14:01
SPEAKER_02: It's important to point out that this award is not limited, again, what I just said, to Republicans or MAGA Stooges, even though the past winners were all Republicans, which is true.
14:12
SPEAKER_02: Uh Mr.
14:13
SPEAKER_02: Schumer is the perfect example of an over-the-hill politician, actually over many hills.
14:20
SPEAKER_02: Very true.
14:21
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:22
SPEAKER_02: Uh, who will do anything?
14:23
SPEAKER_01: You can't even get over Forest Hills.
14:24
SPEAKER_01: Let me know.
14:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:26
SPEAKER_02: And he'll do anything to stay in power as what is now the minority leader in the Senate.
14:32
SPEAKER_02: In addition to being old, many suspect that his refusal to fight for America might be because he's a spy or a double agent for the White House.
14:42
SPEAKER_02: You know, I don't think that's true.
14:43
SPEAKER_02: I guess we won't know until he's out of office or oh yeah, or or dead.
14:47
SPEAKER_02: I guess that's the same thing.
14:48
SPEAKER_02: But how else can you explain Schumer orchestrating the complete surrender of the budget fight of two of 2025?
14:55
SPEAKER_02: Doesn't that sound like a winner to you?
14:57
SPEAKER_02: It does.
14:58
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I think he's right on track.
15:00
SPEAKER_02: He, you know, again, another year, he could have been in the top five with that.
15:04
SPEAKER_01: Let me jump right in with number nine here.
15:07
SPEAKER_01: Representative Nancy Mace.
15:10
SPEAKER_01: She's so much fun to escort to the airports, too.
15:13
SPEAKER_01: Oh, to travel with?
15:14
SPEAKER_01: To travel, yeah.
15:14
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
15:16
SPEAKER_01: But uh, in the citations say that, of course, she's everything you'd want in a crazy ex-girlfriend with emphasis on the crazy.
15:23
SPEAKER_01: You know, I had some crazy ex-girlfriends.
15:25
SPEAKER_01: I don't think they're quite up to her, though.
15:28
SPEAKER_01: You know, I mean, I I don't know, but I digress.
15:30
SPEAKER_01: Quite possible that at some point she could win this award.
15:33
SPEAKER_01: I'm just apparently not going to win this year, I guess, based on this wording, but yeah, yeah, based on her willingness to reverse her positions to get elected.
15:41
SPEAKER_01: May remember she was an advocate for a woman's right to choose, advocate for gay rights, supported the trans community, then reversed her position on all of that.
15:51
SPEAKER_01: But that's honorable mention stuff.
15:53
SPEAKER_01: I mean, everybody we mentioned has done that.
15:55
SPEAKER_01: But what really makes her stand out is her undying support of a sex offender in the White House, while at the same time, she is a sexual assault victim herself.
16:06
SPEAKER_01: Uh, it's a stunning compromise of principles.
16:09
SPEAKER_01: I might want to move her up that list right now.
16:11
SPEAKER_01: And of course, it's all to Curry power and Curry favor, which is really what this award is all about.
16:17
SPEAKER_02: The next runner-up, I guess, in the number eight spot was Bill Maher, comedian.
16:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:24
SPEAKER_02: I remember when Dennis Miller, I was a big fan of Dennis Miller with his rants, and he was able to do an about face, start making money, and decided that he was no longer going to be funny.
16:35
SPEAKER_02: And I think Bill Maher is heading in that direction.
16:37
SPEAKER_02: So here's another Democrat, yeah, or libertarian or whatever, you know, moderate Republican, whatever he wants to call himself these days.
16:45
SPEAKER_01: Well, part of the skill is you can call yourself whatever you want.
16:48
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
16:49
SPEAKER_01: That's part of the duplicity, that's part of the cowardice or courage.
16:53
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
16:53
SPEAKER_02: It says Bill has joined a short list of once cool and smart comedians who are obsessed with the term woke.
17:00
SPEAKER_02: But Marr is smarter than that because unlike Dennis Miller, who completely sold out, he straddles the fence by acknowledging how bad the MAGA gang is, but blaming Democrats for not stopping them.
17:15
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
17:16
SPEAKER_02: I had a friend who told who told me that the the blame for Trump getting elected the first time was Democrats who put a weak candidate up against him.
17:25
SPEAKER_01: Right.
17:26
SPEAKER_01: So the Democrats put a weak candidate up.
17:28
SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna pick the worst guy in the history of the United States that's ever been in that position.
17:34
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna pick him just to show how weak the other candidate is.
17:38
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
17:38
SPEAKER_01: That's such brilliance.
17:39
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
17:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
17:41
SPEAKER_02: Plus, you buy Bill a dinner at the White House and you own him.
17:46
SPEAKER_02: So well done, Bill.
17:47
SPEAKER_02: Your friends and Coulter and Bill O'Reilly must be very proud.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: Number seven is again a tie.
17:54
SPEAKER_01: It's a three-way tie this time.
17:56
SPEAKER_01: It is everyone's favorite people.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
18:00
SPEAKER_01: You could get a room full of people that love any of these three, and you could do it probably in an airplane bathroom and have room to turn around.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'll tell you this.
18:12
SPEAKER_01: Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos, and Tim Cook.
18:16
SPEAKER_01: And of course, CEOs of tech companies, all of them.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: It's a team award.
18:21
SPEAKER_01: So what do they have in common?
18:22
SPEAKER_01: Well, they sold out everything and everyone, except their stockholders, of course, because they own a lot of their own stock to curry favor with the government.
18:32
SPEAKER_01: So you know, I say the money is power, and of course they got a lot of money, but that wasn't enough.
18:38
SPEAKER_01: They didn't think that they had enough money to do the right thing, which you would think.
18:42
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I don't know.
18:43
SPEAKER_01: When you have several billion dollars, don't you think you know you really have enough money to kind of do the right thing, do whatever you want, right?
18:49
SPEAKER_01: You know?
18:50
SPEAKER_01: I agree.
18:51
SPEAKER_01: So, but apparently they didn't.
18:52
SPEAKER_01: Now, in fairness to Mark, Steve, and Tim, they probably don't rank as high as the other nominees because they never really seemed like good guys to begin with, and they didn't try to fake it, you know, they were just always like this.
19:06
SPEAKER_01: But of that three, I mean, no love for any of them, but I think Bezos deserves special mention because he showed the average guy something really important about billionaires.
19:18
SPEAKER_01: He showed the average guy that an allegedly smart CEO who's a billionaire can be dumb.
19:25
SPEAKER_01: First, he guts one of the great newspapers in the world, buys it and then guts it.
19:29
SPEAKER_01: And then he pays a forty million dollar bribe to our king and spends another thirty-five million to market a waste of celluloid.
19:39
SPEAKER_01: I don't think I hear the Golden Globes or the Oscars calling him.
19:42
SPEAKER_01: He's very worthy.
19:44
SPEAKER_02: Number six on the list, Robert Kennedy Jr., Secretary of Health and Human Services, and his wife, Cheryl Hine.
19:52
SPEAKER_02: Yes, husband and wife nomination.
19:54
SPEAKER_02: Because on one hand, you have Mr.
19:56
SPEAKER_02: Kennedy, who's has been killing Americans by sending out misinformation about vaccines.
20:04
SPEAKER_02: But just as impressive, Robert supports a man who places his name in front of the Kennedy Center, named after his uncle, just to prove the power in brain and that brain worms are in the family.
20:16
SPEAKER_02: Oh, they're in his head, definitely.
20:18
SPEAKER_02: And speaking of family, his wife Cheryl, who was once the fake wife of Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm, which was the coolest show ever.
20:28
SPEAKER_02: Great show.
20:29
SPEAKER_02: She was great in it too.
20:31
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
20:31
SPEAKER_02: She sold out everything she had.
20:34
SPEAKER_02: The two of them, they deserve each other.
20:36
SPEAKER_01: Well, I think they got each other.
20:38
SPEAKER_01: Number five, I know this is one of your favorite people.
20:41
SPEAKER_01: This is also a tie, sort of, here, but it's got one of your favorite people, Christy Gnome and Cash Patel, director of the FBI.
20:51
SPEAKER_01: And when you say cash, is that with a C or a K?
20:54
SPEAKER_01: It's the cash you don't want, so it's a K.
20:57
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
20:57
SPEAKER_01: Right.
20:58
SPEAKER_01: The cash with a C you do want.
21:00
SPEAKER_01: The cash with a K you don't want.
21:02
SPEAKER_01: You know, there's so many teams on this.
21:04
SPEAKER_01: Maybe eventually this award is a team award in the future, but sometimes it's hard to see where Christie starts and cash ends, and sometimes there's different other people in there as well.
21:15
SPEAKER_01: They kind of dog each other's heels.
21:17
SPEAKER_01: Wait, wait, too soon?
21:19
SPEAKER_01: No, okay.
21:20
SPEAKER_01: But okay.
21:20
SPEAKER_01: I'll I'll take dogs out of it.
21:22
SPEAKER_01: How about they just seem tied at the hip?
21:24
SPEAKER_01: They each had up their own Sturmbitlung.
21:28
SPEAKER_01: That's easier for you to say.
21:29
SPEAKER_01: Sturmbeitelung.
21:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
21:31
SPEAKER_01: They each had up their own SA, oh, I mean their own military forces that are, of course, above the law, and they're only there for the pain, shock, and awe.
21:41
SPEAKER_01: But what makes them so impressive is that not only do they refuse to own the brutality they inflict, but they also openly blame the people that their soldiers abuse and kill.
21:51
SPEAKER_01: It's kind of like how dare you stand in front of that guy shooting wildly?
21:56
SPEAKER_01: How dare you walk on the sidewalk?
21:58
SPEAKER_01: You know, in fairness, yeah.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: To give our king some of the credit for giving these two really utterly, thoroughly unqualified people clear marching orders that result in the kind of violence that makes the king feel those authoritarian dreams.
22:12
SPEAKER_01: And now he and he found some stooges.
22:15
SPEAKER_01: And I don't mean they're not funny like the three stooges.
22:18
SPEAKER_01: He's found a couple of stooges, more than a couple, who make it happen for him.
22:23
SPEAKER_02: Number four is Ted Cruz.
22:25
SPEAKER_02: There isn't, it doesn't say that.
22:28
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
22:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, he just wins every year.
22:30
SPEAKER_02: He does, I'll tell you that that's a lifetime achievement award.
22:33
SPEAKER_01: It is always he's well on his way to a lifetime achievement award.
22:37
SPEAKER_01: I wonder when he wins the lifetime achievement, I wonder if he'll filibuster.
22:41
SPEAKER_02: I also wonder when we take over Canada, whether he'll be the governor of Canada.
22:46
SPEAKER_02: Well, suddenly he'll say, Hey, I was born in Canada.
22:49
SPEAKER_01: Oh, wait.
22:49
SPEAKER_01: I know, I know didn't I mention that before when I was running for president?
22:53
SPEAKER_01: Well, number three is also a team, a team achievement here.
22:57
SPEAKER_01: All Republican U.S.
22:59
SPEAKER_01: House members, which of course includes my guy, little little Mikey Flood, but it includes all the rest of them too.
23:05
SPEAKER_01: Another batch of nominees that could have been separated, highlighting the worst of the worst, but at the end of the day, it's really a team effort because it takes a village to support murder, rape, theft, and total disregard for the rule of law and the constitution.
23:20
SPEAKER_01: I mean, you can't do that alone.
23:22
SPEAKER_01: Special shout-outs, of course, to Mike Johnson for knowing nothing about anything, as we had mentioned.
23:28
SPEAKER_01: And to, I gotta mention again, little Mikey Flood.
23:31
SPEAKER_01: They are really showing the strength the cowardice can have, the power of cowardice.
23:37
SPEAKER_02: And speaking of cowards, number two is Melania.
23:41
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you remember this during the first term.
23:44
SPEAKER_02: They always said Melania was the good guy, right?
23:47
SPEAKER_02: She was the one that that was always telling Trump the right thing to do.
23:52
SPEAKER_01: Let me just suggest that if you are in a reality where Melania Trump is the good guy, you are so screwed, you don't even know how screwed you are.
24:01
SPEAKER_02: And we are, and we are, and we are and seen.
24:05
SPEAKER_02: Um again, like Ted, um, you could give this award to her every year for still being married to him, and her overall lack of concern for everyone but herself.
24:19
SPEAKER_02: That is what this award is all about.
24:22
SPEAKER_01: Well, I really don't care.
24:23
SPEAKER_01: Do you?
24:24
SPEAKER_02: No.
24:25
SPEAKER_01: No.
24:26
SPEAKER_01: Now we have come to we have come to the final one.
24:30
SPEAKER_01: Drum roll, please, the winner of the 2025 Lindsey Graham Profile and Cowardice Award.
24:38
SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
24:39
SPEAKER_01: Vice President of the United States, JD Vance.
24:43
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I can't think of anyone that is more deserving of that award, who stands for nothing.
24:49
SPEAKER_01: And I mean no disrespect when I say nothing.
24:52
SPEAKER_01: He also lies effortlessly, reverses positions at the drop of a hat, and defends the king at all costs.
24:59
SPEAKER_01: You remember a couple years ago he said that his king was America's Hitler.
25:03
SPEAKER_01: Our bad was that we thought he meant it as an insult.
25:06
SPEAKER_01: That's right.
25:07
SPEAKER_01: I know he's going to be a contender every year until he finally goes away.
25:12
SPEAKER_01: And it really utter amorality like he's got is just is hard to it's hard to replace.
25:17
SPEAKER_01: Well, and I always go back to they're eating the dogs.
25:19
SPEAKER_01: Oh, they're eating the dogs.
25:21
SPEAKER_02: That was his.
25:22
SPEAKER_02: He invented it.
25:22
SPEAKER_02: He made it up.
25:24
SPEAKER_01: It was a lie.
25:24
SPEAKER_01: He knew it was a lie.
25:26
SPEAKER_01: He said it.
25:27
SPEAKER_01: They said he was lying.
25:28
SPEAKER_01: He said, Well, I if I have to lie to get attention, I'm gonna do it.
25:32
SPEAKER_01: The courage, I mean, I this is another reason he probably won because the courage to be that honest about how be that honest about how you're lying, right?
25:40
SPEAKER_01: Is is is just stunning.
25:42
SPEAKER_01: Well, the stunning part is that people fall for it.
25:45
SPEAKER_01: I it's not stunning that people lie because that has been going on forever, but the people fall for it.
25:52
SPEAKER_01: That's the stunning part.
25:53
SPEAKER_02: This whole list just warms my soul because I have a soul and they don't.
25:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, um, it warms my soul to think that there will be ten more people next year that will probably be deserving of this award.
26:07
SPEAKER_02: And oh, it might be the same ten, you know.
26:09
SPEAKER_02: It could be the same ten.
26:12
SPEAKER_02: But I'm impressed.
26:13
SPEAKER_02: I'm glad they sent that to us and uh whoever did that.
26:16
SPEAKER_02: I hopefully they didn't leave a forwarding address.
26:20
SPEAKER_01: I understand that they were filming the mailbox where this Minnesota resident dropped it in the mail and they're now looking through his voting records.
26:29
SPEAKER_01: So his or her.
26:31
SPEAKER_01: I don't really know that it's a him, but his or her voting records.
26:34
SPEAKER_01: I want to stay indoors.
26:36
SPEAKER_01: Thanks, Steve.
26:37
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna sleep well tonight if I get high.
26:40
SPEAKER_01: I think it's great that we can be a part of movie award season by giving these awards.
26:46
SPEAKER_01: It never occurred to me that I'd be happy that the Kennedy Center closed, but here I am.
26:51
SPEAKER_01: I mean, why would I be happy the Kennedy Center closed?
26:53
SPEAKER_01: Well, because we can do we can do these awards and people can attend because you know it's not the center.
27:00
SPEAKER_01: Like every award show, we've probably run overtime here.
27:03
SPEAKER_01: So, Johnny, Johnny, get us out of this award show, and Johnny, I think you may be on next year's nominees list.
27:10
SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm watching you guy.
27:11
SPEAKER_00: Right, Steve.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: This has been a gutless weedy production in association with Soulless Amorality Media.
27:18
SPEAKER_00: All about Steve and Jeff and their website, step and Jeff.com.
27:23
SPEAKER_00: This is Johnny's PP.
27:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm sure to win an award for what I do on this podcast.
27:29
SPEAKER_00: I'm barely paid at all, and I'm forced to drink almost constantly.
27:33
SPEAKER_00: It keeps Steve's mom happy.
27:35
SPEAKER_00: Sounds easy, sure, but you just try an endless party sometime.
27:40
SPEAKER_00: It takes real courage.