Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Almost Famous In Depth: Blake Moynes

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Almost Famous In Depth: Blake Moynes · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This has been and actually I almost famous in depth Blake,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: thanks for joining this in depth episode on the almost
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Famous podcast Home to Have You. Thanks for having me.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: It's been a little bit since I've done something like this.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: So hopefully you're nervous, you know what? You know what
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: weirdly I was, I was saying that I was looking
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: a coffee of like, it's got to be the coffee
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: because I shouldn't be nervous. Yeah, it happens to me. Um,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. But if I go
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: a bit without uh you know, having a camera around,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: which I do. I go along part of my life
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: now with no cameras around most Yeah, yeah, I get nervous.
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  Speaker 1: It's weird how you can just step away for a
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: bit and then you get back into and you even
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: have an interview to talk about your life and things
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: feel odd or off and it should just come off.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: N Actually, it's just like you're like waiting for something
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  Speaker 1: you might not know how to. It's just like it.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: I think it's natural, right too, It's gotta be. Whenever
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: there's a camera on microphone a little unsettling something, it's
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: not natural. Well, how you doing, how you're holding up
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: what's going on in your life? You know what, I'd say,
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I'm good only because it's been time, right, Like time
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: heals a lot of things, and time just allowed you
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: to kind of reflect and just move past that kind
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: of the mayhem that's kind of happened over the last
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  Speaker 1: little bit. And things are really good now. You know,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I'm focusing on myself, which I needed, and things are good. Yeah,
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: so let's beget into the good a little bit. We're
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: gonna talk about obviously, um, some of the harder times
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: recently in your life, let's talk about some of the good.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: When you say you're good, is there some things that
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: you've had to step away from or refocus on to
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: get back to a place where you're feeling good. Yeah,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: I would say one. I think that the main thing
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  Speaker 1: was because I've been so wrapped up in you know,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: trying to find a person over last year and a
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  Speaker 1: half is completely blanking out women, to be honest, just
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: because that's the one thing that's kind of toyed with
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  Speaker 1: my mind over the last little bit. So it's taking
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  Speaker 1: a step back. Um, let's stay focusing on me. It's
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: focusing on things that make me happy, which is uh, wildlife,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: the outdoors, just family obviously. But I'm just following my passion,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: really diving into that, and it's really playing out nicely,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: and that's where I'm finding the most happiness. So I'm
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: gonna continue to follow that trail until it leads me elsewhere. Yeah,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: you know, I have a lot that we could probably
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: relate on and go back and forth on when it
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: comes to our experiences on the show and kind of yeah,
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: the good and the bad and the difficult afterwards in
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: that that healing process of yeah, trying to get back
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: to uh a level place, a place that you know
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: you're not always hurt, you're not as angry um, and
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: you can get passionate about something again. That it takes time,
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: and it feels like for me, the only thing that
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: healed it was just time and getting used to the
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: new normal. And I think too part of it is control.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I think you lose some control coming off It's a
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  Speaker 1: whole new experience coming off it, and you you don't
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: know how to manage it, and so you feel like
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: you don't know what you're doing in a way. And
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: so now I'm just kind of gaining back some control
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: in my life and making my decisions and just falling
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: into what makes me calm again. Yeah, well let's let's
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: start at the beginning then, and uh, and we'll catch
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: up with where you're at currently. Uh here obviously, Uh
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: you were seeing on The Bachelor at um what made
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: you want to go on the show in the first place? Uh?
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  Speaker 1: Full on, It was a combination of not even I
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: would say it was. It was a dare in a
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  Speaker 1: way like you're a very out there guy. You always
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  Speaker 1: do new experience in new adventures. The only guy that's
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: not single or that is single, Why do you will
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  Speaker 1: try on these dating shows? You know what? You're still single?
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  Speaker 1: So I went on. Well, I I applied first, and
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  Speaker 1: then when I got the first call, I was heat.
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  Speaker 1: Didn't think I was gonna get on this U S show.
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  Speaker 1: Then when I like I had my first interview, I
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: had a good feeling I was gonna get on. And
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  Speaker 1: then I started taking seriously and then I started blanking
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  Speaker 1: out girls in my life, and I was like, I
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  Speaker 1: take this seriously. It's gonna be I potentially clear or
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  Speaker 1: two others and it's I just dobe in. And then
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  Speaker 1: when you got there, well, I would say three months
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  Speaker 1: before I found I was gonna be clear. Then I
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: started like really diving in and being like, hey, how
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: can I learn everything about her? That's where I made
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  Speaker 1: a mistake of building her up to be like this
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  Speaker 1: is the one. Yeah, that's the mistake I continue to make,
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  Speaker 1: and that's why I'm done now building up someone based
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: on what I think they are on on Instagram or
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: before I even meet them. And that's where a new approach.
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  Speaker 1: We can talk about that later to how I'm going
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  Speaker 1: to go about meeting girls down the line, and we
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  Speaker 1: can talk about now to what like what is your
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  Speaker 1: new approach? Well, man, I just think that you know,
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  Speaker 1: we have all these apps, we have Instagram with all
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  Speaker 1: these things where we can get so attract to somebody
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  Speaker 1: because people spill their life through social media, so you
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  Speaker 1: cant attached that and thinking of you know, somebody based
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: on an Apple social media or photos or video, and
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  Speaker 1: then it can come to real life and it's it's
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  Speaker 1: not organic. The vibe isn't there, the energy isn't there,
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  Speaker 1: and you like almost you set yourself up for failure
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  Speaker 1: because it's not organic. It's not like the old days
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  Speaker 1: where people met organically and it was like this nice,
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  Speaker 1: Well you know what I mean, like that, I want
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  Speaker 1: I want to try like the old days, I want
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  Speaker 1: to meet you in person. I don't want to put
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  Speaker 1: an emphasis on what I think you are before I
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: meet you. And so taking a step back from doing
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: that going forward, do you find like, um, do you
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  Speaker 1: find any of that comes from maybe like a personal
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  Speaker 1: either uh, insecurity or maybe even a personal like inflated ego.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: For for me, it came from a place of insecurity.
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  Speaker 1: I would see people on social media or i'd see
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  Speaker 1: them in public, Yeah, and I would build them up,
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  Speaker 1: and I would never feel like I could be good
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  Speaker 1: enough for them. I never felt like I could connect
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  Speaker 1: with them, and so I end up just retreating and
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  Speaker 1: and pushing away, uh and never actually allowing myself to
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  Speaker 1: get to know them as a human. So for you,
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: where does that come from? Like so you're saying, so
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: you're asking me, why did I build them up on Instagram?
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: Like why? Yeah? Why do you build these people up
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  Speaker 1: to a place where you're so into it already, like
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  Speaker 1: you're so committed to it already that like it ultimately
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  Speaker 1: is probably gonna be a little disappointing once you finally
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  Speaker 1: get to be around them, because nobody's as great as
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  Speaker 1: their social media. Nobody's a great at what they are
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: in television. Well, well that's the issue, is like, and
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  Speaker 1: I'm realizing that that's the case. So you know, I
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: would just build them up based on what they showing.
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  Speaker 1: But then I come to your life, like, social media
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  Speaker 1: gives us a false indication of what people are, and
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  Speaker 1: I realized that. So it's not necessarily I'm building up
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  Speaker 1: because I didn't think that I was gonna be good
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  Speaker 1: enough for them. You can lay it all your best
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  Speaker 1: cards on social media and so we see that and
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  Speaker 1: so you're almost always going to be let down otherwise.
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  Speaker 1: And so I'm done with being scammed in a way.
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  Speaker 1: You know, I think this is a bad could be
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  Speaker 1: looked at in a bad way. But it's like, we
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  Speaker 1: are the best version of ourselves on Instagram and social
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  Speaker 1: media platform. So I'm just taking a step back from
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  Speaker 1: that necessarily that I have, like they're building them up.
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  Speaker 1: It's just like that's what they show. So it's like, wow,
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  Speaker 1: all the box are checked here, like, and then I
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  Speaker 1: get to real life and it's not necessarily the case.
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  Speaker 1: M do you feel like that. I mean, obviously you
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  Speaker 1: go on this television show. It's I don't know, twelve
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  Speaker 1: weeks of filming. Uh, it's a condensed environment. There's a
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: lot of really fantastic dates. You have no distractions. Um,
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  Speaker 1: nobody's pulling at you to do anything. You feel like
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  Speaker 1: being on the show was had a similar feeling for
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  Speaker 1: you where even you know yourself and the guys involved,
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  Speaker 1: or for Katie and Claire, you were getting a false
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  Speaker 1: sense of what life looked like. Yeah. I mean, I
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  Speaker 1: you know, the thing is that I'm not specifically speaking
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  Speaker 1: to you know, Claire, Tasa Katie like building I built
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  Speaker 1: clear up for sure, but the other two not necessarily.
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  Speaker 1: But when I got there, yeah, I mean, you know,
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  Speaker 1: everything was perfect there. Everything was perfect there. And you know,
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  Speaker 1: I think that's a combination of of of things. I
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  Speaker 1: think we really did vibe and mesh really well. Ware
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  Speaker 1: when I'm talking about case specifically. Um, but you know,
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  Speaker 1: we didn't have one thing hold us back really, I mean,
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  Speaker 1: aside from you know, some of the greg stuff that
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  Speaker 1: happen our dates, every conversation we had it was it
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  Speaker 1: was up and up. We didn't have a little setback.
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  Speaker 1: So it's just like it was easy to fall in love.
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  Speaker 1: It was easy to get there is easy to feel
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  Speaker 1: like this was the most incredible thing ever, and then
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  Speaker 1: real life came and it was Yeah. I don't mean
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  Speaker 1: I explain how that feeling was of trying to reel
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  Speaker 1: it back in and making like no, but it was
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: like this on the show, like Whire, was just a
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: little setback, but the more setbacks the game, it was
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: very clear that this was going in a wrong direction
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: and there is no way of trying to reel it
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  Speaker 1: back because we were in a honeymoon stage and we
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: were not acting like it was a honeymoon stage. So
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: there's something clearly wrong with that. So yeah, that's how
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  Speaker 1: I would explain it too. You know. My experience was like, hey, um,
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: something was off, especially now I'm married, right, and yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I have a terrific wife and uh we have really
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: hard times where she probably doesn't like me very much.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: Um yeah, but there's a difference to that, like that's
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: there's never a um, there's never a doubt, there's never
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  Speaker 1: a question. So can you explain what it was like
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: for you, um, walking through that season and then when
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: can you come to the realization that hey, this isn't
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: my partner and that's fine? But this isn't my partner. Yeah,
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: it was very clear for both of us when we
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: when we spent the first long chunk of time together, um,
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: and that was about a three week period of time
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: in New York and then in San Diego, which I
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: have discussed before, and that was the first, um, you know,
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: big chunk that we just we were realizing we're compatible
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: in a lot of different ways and I was expecting,
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: I think we were both expecting to having a really
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: amazing time. And loved Sandy, so she had a new
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: place and stuff, and it just from day to day
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: there was just tension that I don't really know how
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: to explain it. We were just not delivering what each
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: other needed during that time frame. And it was that
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: three weeks that all ltimately ended it. I didn't see
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: her for a while after because I did go to Kenya.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: You know, with the combination of those two things built
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: up and it was just like what are we what
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: are we doing? And we decided to pull the plug. Mhm, Well,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: I do want to take one step back here, and um,
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: it's such an interesting I mean, so many people can
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: relate to that, to what you just said, right, you're
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: dating somebody, things are great and then you just have
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: this moment of clarity and realization that maybe it's not
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: as good as I thought it was gonna be. And
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: how much of the show then through you know, clarentatious
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: season and then your season on Katie's like prepped you
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: for these moments? You know. One of the things that
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: a lot of contestants get off and talk about is
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: their ability to communicate increases. Um how much prep for
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: you as a person. Did you feel like you got
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: through going on these seasons to be in a long
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: term relationship? Yeah? I would say it give me prep,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: but it also get in some ways, I feel like
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: gave me set back for your confidence in your and
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: your You go thinking you know what you know, you
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: know what you're doing. You know. I think when you
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: fail that many times in a row and you feel
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: as big as as that, it's brings you back to
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: your life a little bit and you don't know as
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: much and you're not as ready as you may have
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: thought you were, which kind of sucks because we're at
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: a point in you're like, well I am anyways, or
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: like I want to be you know. Um So in
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: terms of setting me up, I think, you know, failures,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: no matter what, and no matter how big, the failure
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: is always going to give you growth in some capacity. Um,
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: I continue to narrow down what I like more, which
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: again I think scares me in a way because I'm
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: just am I making myself my partner? Is Am I
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: gonna be more picky because the more failures, AM like, well,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: I know what I don't want it, and now I'm
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: gonna like narrow it down, narrow down, narrow down? Am
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: I being too picky? Is it? Now? Am I putting
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: it on me? Do I need to be more open?
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know much way to go, you know, And
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: I hope that it just falls in my lap instead
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: of chasing it the way I have been. But I'm
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: kind of lost to that sense, like, and that's why
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to focus on myself the most, because I
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: don't have the answer. Ben, I know how it? Yeah,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: you know, Well it's hard too, because, as you're saying,
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: part of the healing process for you is doing some
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: of the things you love. And so by doing some
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: of the things you love, are you now pushing aside
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: so many of the other things out there? And other
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: people out there use the word, that's interesting that I
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: want to talk about. You said, chasing. Yeah, I get
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: it makes sense. Um is the chasing aspect you think?
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Why you went on the two seasons. I mean you
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: got I don't know if you call it heat or whatever.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: But people were like, you know, I would love to
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: talk about how you went on a season it didn't
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: really work out fully um for you, and so then
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: you went on the next season and people said, hey,
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: he's just out here to be on the show. But ultimately,
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: why did you choose to do both seasons and both
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: seasons so quickly? Well, originally I was probably in the
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: talks while I wasn't a talk of going to Paradise.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: Then when Katie was announced as a back track, like,
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: that's who I was thinking about, you know, seeing my eye,
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: my eye was on her potential going to Paris. As
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: soon as she was back Selred, I was like, hey,
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: well I can take the easy route and like take
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: the less heat and go meet a bunch of different people.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: But she was the one that was different to me.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: We had the same humor, kind of crude, a little vulgar,
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: unapologically ourselves. I felt like she was someone different that
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: I haven't met before the other girls. I don't know.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: She's just it was gonna be different. Now it was
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: scary because I knew and I got heat. I got
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: the heat that I knew I was gonna get. But
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: it was either go do per season meet the girl
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: that I wanted to meet in Paradise that now I can't,
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: or I let that go and go two months later
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: to Paradise. Regardless it's a two months of difference. Yes,
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: I went on right away, but I'm just chasing the
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: girl that I wanted to chase because I thought she
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: was the best match for me. But I mean it
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: ended up being that way, and like I was right
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: in that way, but just not long term where it
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: makes the most, what it means the most in real life.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: Would you, I mean, do you regret it? No? I
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: don't because and this is and I explained this to
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: somebody the other day when they asked me about it,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: because that's the most, that's the question I get the most,
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: I think, And when I when I weigh them all out,
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: I remember how exciting and how happy I was in
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: that moment, regardless of the outcome. Now, I was so happy.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: I was a feeling like I've never had before an
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: experience and the feeling of like truly feeling like it
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: was love and this was going to be it right,
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: And I wouldn't take that back even though it didn't
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: work out, because I remember how great it was, you know.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: I mean so like that feeling and that experience and
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: like every like, I can't and I don't like to
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: have regrets. I like to not live life that way.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: So as much as I yeah, in some way, like
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: it's a proposal that went tradition and it wasn't my person,
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: and I did it on that stage and you you kind
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: of look like an idiot and all those things, I
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: still remember what that was like with her, and I
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: hope in some degree that she doesn't regret it either,
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: because it was a really amazing experience with her. And
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: that's the way I'm trying to look at it and
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: be optimistic about it instead of being like, why the
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: hell did I do that? Dumbest decision ever? I try
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: not to look at it thinks that way. Why is it?
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: I mean, why does it matter to you she regrets
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: it or not. I mean, you said that you hope
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: she doesn't regret it either? Why? Why? Why does that
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: play a role in your thought process because I want her,
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: I I think selfishly want to know that she was,
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: because I have I have those doubts where of like,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: you know, because it was I default all those things
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: with Greg, right, So I want to feel like this
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: wasn't some dumb fake thing. I want her to like,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: this was as real as you know, those feelings I
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: had the same ones you had, you know, so it
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: was on the same wavelane. I wasn't say wave blank,
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: you know, I don't want it to if that makes sense, Like,
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: it's like I wanted to feel as real on her
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: end as it did for me. So I'm like, I
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: hope that she was, and I and I do. I
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: really do believe that I do. I do. I think, Yeah,
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: it makes complete sense. It's yeah. So many people's reaction
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: to a breakup is I just want to know that
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: you cared to That's all I need. So have you
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: had a chance to get closure from it? Um? Has
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: there been any opportunity for you to get some of
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: these questions answered? Uh? I mean yes, I mean we
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: we talked very cordially after we announced engagement the breakup,
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: and we were really good with that and then obviously
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: all the other stuff happened, and since then we have
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: not spoke, but um, she has reached out to me.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: I just have not been the place yet to respond
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: to it, especially at the time that it all kind
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: of was unraveling. I didn't want to respond in a
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: place of emotion and like writing the heat of things
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: when I haven't had time to reflect. And there will
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: be a time where I can respond to that, and
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: we will, but there's no point in doing it where
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: I'm going to speak out of emotion and in a
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: place like I need to let the time go where
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: I can like step back. So I'm not I'm not
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: on that She's happy she's making this. She made the decision,
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: although you know I didn't like it. She made the
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: best decision for her, just like I would make the
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: best decision for me. It didn't play out the way
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: I wanted it to, and like it could have probably
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: been handled different. But I have no time for grudge.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: Grudge takes so much energy. Why why I want to
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: have a negative energy for It's just it's just a
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: waste of time. And I do think, I do think
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: she's a good person, and just like things played out,
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: not the great way, But I just don't have I
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: will get to that and I will respond to her
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: and we will make up one day. It's just not
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: yet when it still feels kind of fresh. Yeah, I want,
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't want to make me promise you
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: will get there, right? Yeah? You know I remember this
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: season where it felt like I was never gonna get there,
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: and where like, you know, then you have jerks like me,
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: ask me about your ex, you know every couple of
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: days you know, paid for this. Yeah, yeah, for sure,
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: you do get there right. Uh. Somebody asked me about
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: the show today, and it doesn't It has no emotional
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: toll on me. Takes no pain for me to talk
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: about it. And but I would have, Oh, it would
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: have crushed me. It crushed me for a you know,
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: a year and a half ning it. It would it
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: was a pain. There was so much inside of me
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: that I wanted to talk about that I couldn't talk about,
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: and that you know, you know the same as you.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: And I've said it like there's an anger too. It's
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: like I don't want to say something here. I want
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: to regretting five years. There's no reason for that. Um,
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: And so it's a wise place to say it because
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: regret pupe hopefully be live in a you know, five
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: years from now when this isn't a pain in your life.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: But it hurts, man, it hurts, and then it hurts
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: even worse, and I want this is you know, something
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: I want to talk to you about is like, does
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: it hurt to be talked about talking about it? Um?
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: You you know it is fresh, it is new. She
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: is dating somebody else that that band aid. I remember
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: I called one of the producers in the show when
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: I found out, you know that Laura moved on on
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: social media and they're like, here's the good part. The
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: band aid's now been ripped off your work. It's completely exposed.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: There's only one way out of this, and that's now
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: for you to heal because for a while that band
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: aid was sitting on there. So for you that we
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: just is has been open for a bit. The band
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: aids off. Um does it hurt? M Yes? Yes? Um?
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: I think just because I have just because there's confusion, right,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: I think, as guy, like we want to know and
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: have have the answers, but just there's still confusion to
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: it that although I've had the explanations and the reasons
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: given to me. There's still I don't think there will be.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: I'm hurt, but it won't be fully healed until I
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: maybe ask a couple of questions, right and just clarify
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: a couple of things. Until then, it'll it'll fester a
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: little bit, but the majority of that pain is gone
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: and I can live happy day to day and I'm good.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: But there's always be a little piece that won't heal
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: until I have that wrap up conversation with her eventually
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: when that comes, and that just will take time to
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: get there, and it will come. I know it well
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: because we're both mature. We are, and so they'll get there.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: It's just it's just not yet. And I think I
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: should be the one to determine that, just because I
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: was on the back end for the wrong end of it,
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: and I'm just it was you know if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah,
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: at least it makes sense. We can relate in a
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: lot of ways, and I'll i'll stop here, continue to
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: bring it back, but you know, just I got a
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: guy here and two people and like there is a
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: time I remember and I was on a walk, right,
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: but you remember it specifically, I remember specifically and I
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: took this same walk every day for a year, and
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: there was some day that I was walking and it
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: just like there was like a piece of weightlifted from
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: my shoulders in my chest and I said, you know what,
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: it's this. I'm not going to carry this with me anymore.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: I don't want to carry this with me. Actually, I'm
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: good to not carry it with me. And at that moment,
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: I've never said this publicly, but at that moment, you know,
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: we both apologize to each other and that was it.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: That's the last time we've really had like a discourse,
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Like there's random stuff that we have to like we
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: had to say afterwards, but like the last time we
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: had a discourse, and it it felt good, like we're done,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: like I'm sorry, she said she's sorry, and we moved
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: on and and that's when I really felt like I
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: could date again too. So I don't know when that's
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: gonna happen for you, but I do believe it will happen.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: I do, Yeah, I mean I in a in a way,
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's it's that conversation is sitting at
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: the bottom of my to do list right now. I'm
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: definitely not making a priority it's there. I know it's
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: something that has to be done, you know, And so Lingers,
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: you know when you're like, I stuff to do this,
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: I you know, this still has to happen at some point.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: I guess you could like scratch off and kind of
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: something not to do. But I know it'll be better
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: for both of us if we do. It definitely would
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: be for me, So uh, yeah, it will come. Um,
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: it's definitely not a priority, but it will be And
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: maybe I'll just have a day walking down the street
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: like you and it'll just happen. Yeah, I mean I
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: didn't expect it, so yeah, you know when um, when
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: the news came out. Actually, my my my usual ghost
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: who can't be with us right now because she's a
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: mother of us. Yes, congratulations. Actually it's a question that
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: gets asked from breakups, and I told her I would
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: ask you this, um, And we've been super intrigued and
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: our listeners seem to really like to hear everybody's thoughts
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: on this. How but you're in the heart of it.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: How long is too long or too short to move
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: into a relationship post a break up? Is there an
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: appropriate time is there not? Like? What are your thoughts
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: around this. M that's a good question. I would say,
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: you need to do whatever is best that makes you happy,
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: so we all have to be selfish. I think overall,
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: like unless like I will get over the fact that
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: she made her decisions that moved on to it. I
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: will eventually get over that she is happy she made
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: the decision to do that because it made her happy.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: M hmm. All we want in life is to be happy.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: We can't think about everybody else as much as we
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: want to, but you've really got to think about yourself first.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: And yes, sometimes that's gonna throw people to the wayside
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: that you ultimately loved cared about all those things. But
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: when it comes down to it, she it maybe could
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: have been announced a little later, all those things, you know,
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: in the ways that she did it. Uh, I don't
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: know what that. I don't. I think I don't. You
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: can't put a number on it because every circumstances so different,
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: every relationship is so different the person. Like if it
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: ended a little bit differently, there could be more of
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: a part of my French but like a screw you
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: and it's like, I don't care about it depends where
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: you're at with that person. What the discussion was there's
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: so many things I think to go into that you
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: can't put a solid number, being like, hey, after three months,
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: it's good for everybody to move. No, I think it's circumstantial,
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: and I think you need to do You need just
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: to be happy and whatever that decision is, everyone else
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: will get on with it because happiness rules all. So
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: you have a nique situation where you know, obviously this
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: is so public, yeah, and so much a part of
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: your story right now, more than most breakups. But the
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: other side of this is that you have it is
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: so public, you have gone through a breakup, and now
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: you have people supporting you. Some people have to do
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: this alone. U They get broken up with and they
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: sit alone and they don't have nobody gets it. At
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: least you have people that have a picked opinion, probably
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: mostly positive with some negative. Yeah. Do you for anybody
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: listening who is in the midst of or going through
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: healing from a really hard breakup, do you mind sharing
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: your experience when you found out, uh, what you did,
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: who you reached out to, how you found support, how
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: you felt um, So hopefully somebody listening maybe that's alone
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: in this can you can feel like yeah, I get
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: it too. Yeah are you are you? Are you talking
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: in an example of somebody else that would be in
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: the public eye or something, or just generically just that
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: you know, tabloids writing about their break and yeah, yeah yeah. Um.
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: You know, I would say, find that thing that makes
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: you happiest outside of your person. Focus on that, whether
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: it's you know, the volunteer work or something that can
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: take your distraction away the people I rely on. Obviously,
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: you go right to family first, you know. I want
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: to be told straight everything that they feel about the
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: whole situation. I don't want to be sugarcoated. Um. And
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: then I would say not to jump into, you know,
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: talking to other people and like the whole rebound thing
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: right away, because it's just again putting like a band
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: aid on something you haven't healed through yet. I mean,
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: m I really just took time, I really dope into
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: my wildlife conservation stuff because it really made me the happiest.
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: And um, you know, in some degree, I think depending
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: on how that how it ends, sometimes it can make
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: it easier. The way that she did it, uh and
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: moved on so quick, it was like, hey, well we're
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: not getting back together, especially based on the song that
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: she played for me and her probably a breakup, we
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: never getting never never ever getting back together, right, So
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: you know, I think so that's that that that was tough,
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: you know for for those in the sidelines that they
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: probably thought, oh crap, maybe got a giggle. For those
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: in it like you probably her, I would assume, yeah,
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: yeah it was. I definitely was unexpected. Um, but yeah,
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: I think depending on how it all ends to, right,
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: Like it's so circumstantial, do you take the time, you
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: focus on things that make you happiest, and you just
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: always got to remember, like you think back up old relationships.
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: I remember the first relationship I had where I was
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: like high school sweetheart, thought I was loved. I remember
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: I wasn't a hard depression, Like a month I moved
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: away like I was nuts, and I thought I was
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: never gonna find someone better than her, and I thought
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: it was all over. But the relationships I've had after that,
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: we're so much better. Things always, you know, get better,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: you grow from it. You know, you're they always get better.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: So although you feel like you lost the world, in
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: a sense, she probably wasn't the world. If she's not
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: with you and you're going to find something probably better.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: And that's what I find with all like depressive situations,
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: all those things, like all those times you've freaked out
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: overthought about all these things, How did it actually end up?
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: Was it really as bad as you thought? Did you
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: find like everything well work itself out in the time.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: It doesn't feel like it, But you gotta look back
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: on your own life experience to think about how you've
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: moved through things and where you are where, why and
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: why it's good. It's a really wise word, man, I
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: mean it is. I'm sitting here thinking, I'm like Je's
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: look at you know, look at the story of the people.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: I know. My buddy goes through a divorce, he marries
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: in a wonderful woman three years later that he loves
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: and his loves him. And you know, for me, I
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: go through a public breakup and I feel like I've
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: lost everything, and then I meet my wife and I'm like,
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: I can't imagine my life without her, like I can't
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: imagine it does. And it's such a good lesson for
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: those who are in the midst of something so hard
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: it is to know that, yes, right now it feels
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: like the world is falling down around you, and that
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: there's the biggest weight in cloud over everything that you do.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: But it continue, like keep taking those steps forward because
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: it will get better. And we have to remember that
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: because it sometimes doesn't feel that but exactly, But I
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: know what the thing is. People always look to other
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: people to be like they got over this, how do
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: they do that? But look at your own life. There's
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: a lot of things that you're probably overlooking that you've
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: done your life, that you you'll stepped up for, overcome
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: all these things that you're not thinking about that of like,
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: this is just another one of those things. So move
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: past it because you'll look back on this and be like,
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: oh my god, wow was like so, yes, some of
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: them are gonna bit more challenging than the others. But
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: there's a reason where you are. And so look back
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: on your own experiences because there's probably a lot in
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: your life and you went through that you're not really
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: taking the time to appreciate respect for yourself. So well,
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: to close up here with you, I really appreciate your
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: time and your honesty. I think it's gonna relate to
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: many out there, and and your story is yes, it
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: wasn't the public eye, but if we can take that
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: element away. It's um incredibly relatable to so many. Um
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: where you sit now, uh, what are you looking forward to? Where?
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: Where does life go for you? Like? What? What? What
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: dreams do you have for years beyond? If you can
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: close this out with just you know, where is Blake
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: gonna go? Where do you? What do you dream of? Buddy?
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: You know I started to become a lot more just
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: ambitious and really realizing that you know this, There's a
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: lot of crazy things that happened in this life, but
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: it's short, and so I love to um continuous ambitious
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: path find someone that wants to live that adventurous, ambitious
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: life with me. I'm super happy as I am single alone,
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: but I know that it could be elevated with that
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: right person. Until then, I'm not gonna chase it. I'm
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: not gonna I think I know what I want. I
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: hope they just falls in my lap. Until then, I'm
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: gonna continue to focus on the things I love, and
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: that's focusing on wildlife conservation and animals and try to
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: do some good in the world and hopefully that that
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: karma falls back in my lap with the right person
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: one day and I can continue to just follow that
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: dream of that passion with them. Well, um, you know
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: would be inappropriate. I didn't ask, you know, give us,
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: uh some ways that people are listening and some organizations
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: you're part of, and some things that if they want to,
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: you know, help out with as well. What are those
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: organizations and how can people best support you? Oh, she's okay, Uh,
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: great organizations. I would start off with World Animal News
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: Katie Cleary, who does a really amazing job wrapping up
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: all the most important uh animal related news in the world,
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: and things that we could do to step up and
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: help out aside from that Big Life Foundation, whereas that
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: Kenya working with with them and really bringing to light
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: all the poaching issues human wildlife conflict because it pertains
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: to elephants. And yeah I have re Trade and Ryan o'horn.
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: Um care for what there's There's so many. If you
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: go to my Instagram and or Mowgli moins Fund where
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: I do support a lot of these organizations. D m
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: me if you really need some some help and direction
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: or just see who I'm following and those are the
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: right organizations to follow. Great man, Well, thanks for sitting
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: down with Thanks for sharing you watching Clayton's season. I've
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: watched the first two episodes. I haven't since I'm trying to.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: It gives me weird feelings right now, Like this last date.
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: Someone told me that Clayton went on a horse state
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: to a country singer date and that was my one
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: on KI. So I'm just like, I don't need to.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: I don't need to go back there, you know, I
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: don't need to. Yeah, take some time. The show will
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: be there when you're ready. Promise. It's it definitely goes away.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: It's it's it's the cockroach that keeps on living. Hey, Blake,
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: thank you again um for joining the almost famous podcast.
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: This in depth episode has been fantastic, wors some the
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: best our listeners are gonna wish the best. If you're listening,
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: go out there and suppoor Blake, tell me, tell him
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: you got his back. And you know the best thing
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: about this, Blake, I'll tell you. I'll close it here. Um,
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: everybody was, you know, team be entertaining Team Lauren, and
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: ultimately that wasn't helpful either way. I didn't want to
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: people be on my side or not her side, and
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: her side not my side. Um, Ultimately we can lift
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: each each other both up and say, hey, we're gonna
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: do our best things and there's a good life in
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: front of you, and I wish that for you, man,
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: and we all do. I appreciate that, man, I really do,
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: because it's been crazy. So take all the support we
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: can get. Let's right back at you. That's right, man. Hey,
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: thanks Blake, of course, take care, Blake. Appreciate you, man,
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: Thanks for doing this, no sweat. Enjoy of the rest
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: of your trip there. Yeah, give Koba a hug for
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: me if you don't mind. Yeah, well Mr Cleek too. Alright, buddy, alright,
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: gonna take care later. Follow the Benn and Ashley I
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: Almost Famous podcast on I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: you listen to podcasts.