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EP89: Mark Kohl · Unpause Your Life

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You are listening to Unpause Your Life with Doctor Kelly es Says and Master Coach
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Jenny Fontana, founders of the Life Coach method. Each one of our uplifting
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and deep dive episodes is geared to help you tackle the things that hold you
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back from having the most magnificent life you deserved. Sit back, relax,
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and prepare to be coached. Good morning everybody, doctor callistas with Unpause your
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Life and the Addictions Coach and sob undemand like to welcome my wonderful guest today.
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Mark cole and He is a successful, innovative, cutting edge director and
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cinematographer in the world of television and feature film. He has shot features for
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Francis Ford Coppola's American Zoetroup production company and served as the director of photography on
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Aaron Spelling Safe. In addition, he's directed and shot over one hundred and
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thirty episodes of America's Most Wanted, lensed over fifteen films such as Lonely Hearts
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with John Travalta and James Gandelfini and HBO's Recount with Kevin Spacey and Dennis Leary.
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In between that, he's also delivered more than two thousand commercials to hundreds
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of agents and clients such as McDonald's, Honda, Ford, At and T,
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Pizza Hut, Carnival Cruise Line, and Dick Sporting Goods. But you
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may also know him from founding a product called frequency Caps, which is a
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groundbreaking company and it combined psychedelics and sound healing. So join me in welcoming
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Mark Cole, thank you, thanks for having me. Oh, you're very
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welcome. Tell me a little bit about cinematography first, let's start at the
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beginning, how you got into that, what you loved about it, that
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kind of a thing, and then we can talk about your personal journey and
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how you got into sec and psychedelics, which is fascinating. Sure, I
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mean it was weird listening to you read my bio because I haven't haven't,
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I haven't heard it in a while. It's a different chapter of my life.
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But yeah, I mean it's the quick version, is I for family
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reasons. I ended up in Jacksonville, Florida on my sixteenth birthday, and
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at that time it was a very big southern rock kind of kind of scene,
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so I was actually I started off as a lead guitarist for many rock
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and roll bands back in the day, and I always had an interested in
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photography and was not really interested in pursuing music just because of musicians overall,
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and just you know, I knew it wouldn't be a way to really make
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a living. But I was very interested in photography. So one of our
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roadies worked at a film company, and this is a long time ago.
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There wasn't a whole lot of them around, and I said, hey,
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you know, if you're ever looking for anybody over there, I'm interested.
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And one day he came in and said, hey, they're looking for a
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guy in the video department. So I went in and got a job.
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And I was twenty years old, I think, and I remember, and
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they were a pretty good sized video and film company. They did they sold
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a lot of equipment, but they also did production and nobody had This is
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in the days when vhs and Beta Max were coming out and cable was coming
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out, So it's kind of like I was jumping on the equivalent of the
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Internet when it first started, you know, so nobody had any you know,
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this was all just hitting the consumers with this type of equipment, and
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then you know, corporations and everybody saw the value in creating, marketing films
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and training films, etc. So I jumped into that. I somewhat was
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self trained. I was super interested in it. I remember the first time
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I grabbed, you know, one of these one hundred thousand dollars cameras or
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whatever and started working with it. It felt super natural to me. It
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just felt like a new guitar, if you will, like a new instrument.
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And it was just really easy and came natural to me. And I
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could. I realized I could. I saw the world differently than other people.
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I could see it through the lens of a camera, which was I
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guess some instinct I had. And anyway, I developed a skill just by
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you know, working not really knowing anything, you know, self taught.
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And then I started working with, you know, people that knew more than
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me. And at the age of twenty three twenty two, I had built
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up a significant client base that just liked me, and I broke out on
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my own and started my own company as a production company that's still here today.
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So that was thirty seven years ago and or more, maybe I don't
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know. And throughout all that in my career, I opened up one of
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the first the first rental and equipment rental company in Jacksonville, Florida. So
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I had a truck full of equipment and I taught learned how to shoot actual
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film, not video. And my real break came when Florida is just kind
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of known for its crime. You know, they always say, hey,
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a Florida man. So the show America's Most Wanted kept coming to town because
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of all the crime there. And we were doing a lot of recreations,
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which recreations are just basically a mini movie, right, and we would shoot
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those on film, not on standard television, so it looked more like a
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movie, and I became they just they would rent my equipment. Eventually they
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gave me a shot to shoot an episode, and at that time it was
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a very very popular show, and I did, and they liked me,
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and they continued to use me for the next twenty eight years, I think.
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But what happened then, This is in the nineties when you know,
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film festivals were just kind of coming out Sundance and stuff, and there's days
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of discovering directors like Tarantino and Rodriguez and these guys. So America's Most Wanted
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was very smart. They would kind of mine these film festivals for the new,
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up and coming, hungry young directors that had a skill. So they
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would get those guys and then pair them with me as the director of photography
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and team up and we shot hundreds of these mini movies. And so I
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started developing relationships with these guys that went on to do big things, and
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they took me with them. So then that's when I started coming to Los
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Angeles and going, wow, this is where I need to be. So
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I started working all over the country. I started working with all these different
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directors. I started shooting Roger Corman films. I started I did a you
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know, a whole series for Aaron Spelling. People probably don't even remember who
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that is now, but he was a big fish at the time. I
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was like thirty three. I shot you know, one of his main shows.
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And then I just you know, kept you know, just growing and
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growing and got an apartment in Los Angeles and started being bi cooastal and I
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became a very big force in the south south southeastern market because I was trained
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now from you know, really talented people in Los Angeles, and I took
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that skill set back to the Southeast and just killed it for a long time
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and so it was very, very busy a lot. And it was,
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like I said, a force and I did a lot of regional commercials,
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a lot of and then started falling into more and more television and et cetera,
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et cetera. So that's kind of, you know, the short version
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of how I built it up. But you know, literally, I don't
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know. I figured I've been on at least thirty five hundred to four thousand
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shoot days in my career, so you know, and you know, the
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thing is about production is every single job is different, right. You're not
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usually using the same crew. You're walking into somewhat unknown circumstances, you know,
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different locations, different you know, weather, you're trying to tell a
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story, You're working with different actors. So it's it's it's a business that
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I you know, looking back, that was necessary for me because I lose
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interest very quickly with things I could never work you know, nine to five.
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So you know, one day I'd be hanging out of a helicopter chasing
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a cop car down a road, you know, and next day, you
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know, I'm in a studio on a green screen or something, you know.
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So it was there was a lot of and it's very very very hard
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work. I mean, you just you have to push through all the elements,
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all the problems. So you know, really it's it's just a multitude
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of skill sets that kept me as a Gemini interested because it's a lot of
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problem solvings, it's a lot of instinct. There's a lot of pressure.
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You know, our average job is one hundred thousand a day, so you
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know, you're spending ten thousand dollars an hour, so every minute counts.
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And they don't care about anything. They just want to make sure they get
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a show right. So I became very strong willed and you know, physically
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a soldier kind of thing, and could you know, kind of push through
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any adversity to deliver. So that was my real skill set. Yeah,
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I'm a good director and cinematographer. But more importantly, I think I built
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up a reputation of trust that hey, this is somewhat of a super challenging
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job. We'll give it tomorrow, he'll make it happen and kind of thing.
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So I wasn't the A list guy, but it was more of a
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regional B list and I did, you know, pretty well in that space
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for a long time, and along the way, you know, this is
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again in the nineties, early two thousands, it was a very you know,
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stressful life and not that many people, not that many people were doing
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it. Sounds like somebody else just jumped on the call. I don't know
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if you know it rerouted me through. It's just me, okay. So
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anyway, through that time, you know, there was happy hours going on
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in Florida. Everybody, everybody drank alcohol. We went to the bar every
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night at the happy happy hour. Did I lose you No, I'm here,
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can you hear me? Okay, yeah, I just lost your picture?
10:56
So okay. So yeah, anyway, within that business, you know,
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we would have our craft service table with food and whatever. In the
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second we said wrap, she would turn it around and it was a bar,
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you know. So the point is there was a lot of alcohol,
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there was a lot of stress, and there was a lot of camaraderie around
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at the end of the day, you know, getting getting a drink or
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whatever. So so I started, you know, utilizing alcohol to calm down.
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I started using it as a you know, way to unwind and also
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to calm my very active mind as a creative and in small doses that worked
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very well, it would, you know, settle them my mind down,
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and then I could be a little bit more creative. It would be a
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little bit more brave. I could talk to that girl, I could talk
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to that producer. I could write a creative treatment. So but then,
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like they say in the program, it was fun, and then it was
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fun with problems, and then it became just problems. So yeah, so
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I went through are you still there by the way, I can't see.
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Yeah, yeah, I was curious. You didn't ever get in trouble or
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get you know, lose clients or anything like that throughout this. Oh yeah,
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oh yeah, I got I got well. I managed to hold it
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together way longer than anybody else probably could have because I was an independent guy
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and I owned my you know, the own business. I was the boss,
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you know, so and but you know, we it became I just
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started not being as sharp, right, so a lot of people didn't know
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for a long time, you know. But I wasn't always drinking like I
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would binge. I would do some when I realized I had a problem,
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you know, because I would binge. I would go you know, at
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the when I started seeing that this was a real problem, I wasn't like
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in denial or anything. I got a DUI I think in two thousand that
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kind of shook me up. You know, they put me in jail obviously,
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and it, you know, shook me up a little bit. I
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started going to AA and uh, you know, but I never fixed the
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problem. You know, I just would And it was you know, when
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I when I wouldn't drink, I would start white knuckling it, thinking all
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day, okay, don't drink today, don't drink today, don't drink today.
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And then of course, you know you're giving such power to these thoughts.
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We'll get into that how that works in a minute. But you know,
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of course, if I'm running around don't don't drink, You're eventually gonna
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drink, right So, because because the detox of alcohol is horrific, I
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mean, you get anxiety like you most people have never even come close to
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feeling. I mean you literally want to out of your skin. Your skin
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is crawling, and you take one sip and it goes away. So it's
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like it became necessary for me to drink. So that that's when I really
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knew I had a problem. It was it went from enjoying it to having
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to have it right. I had to have it to be almost normal,
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because I would wake up shaky, and you know, I would be a
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little you know, just not with it. But if I, like I
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said, if I drank up bloody Mary in the morning, I would be
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fine. It would be perfect, right, it would just be normal.
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Actually it wasn't like you know, I was stumbling around or anything. I
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started. But when I started getting up in the morning and having to have
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a drink, obviously I knew, okay, there's something going on here.
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But I but I was, like I said, I had to do it,
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or you know, as a camera guy, I would start shaking,
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and as you know, it was really tough and it's and yeah, I
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mean I had so many, so many torturous mornings because you just you just
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you just have to show up no matter what, so totally hungover, you
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know, totally you know, and everybody runs in and starts asking a million
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questions and you're trying to shake off the fog and so what you know,
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years and years of that misery. But you know, I started going into
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you know, AA, which I did for a while, but again I
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never got really to the to the source of it. And this is in
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Florida. And then I checked myself into a couple of rehabs and they stuck
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for a minute. But you know, I never quite got it fixed.
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And I went through about ten years of just like literally doing anything I could
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to stop because I never knew if I picked up a drink when I would
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stop drinking. And you know, here I am this really strong, powerful
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soldier, and this addiction or whatever it was had me like I just could
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not shake it. And I tried, I mean, like I said,
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and I went into the hospital many times for alcohol poisoning, for to detox
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because you can't just stop drinking when you're at the level I was. You'll
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you can die. You know, you can go into seizures. And I
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was starting to go into seizures, right, so I you know, and
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here I am. Now I'm trying to hang onto my career, but I'm
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not one hundred percent there. I'm maybe, you know, forty percent there.
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And the recession came in two thousand and eight. You know, all
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my businesses started, you know, shutting down, and I had a bunch
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of rental properties and they started, you know, people stopped paying rent and
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I was faced with a lot of challenges, and then the whole industry changed
16:51
into super low budget stuff and people were starting to shoot their own things in
16:55
house, and editing started happening on laptops and so so my skill set wasn't
17:02
needed as much as before, and I was not as reliable as before.
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So it just started kind of sparkling down. I had a lot of properties
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that I had bought for rental income. You know, they had problems.
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I didn't have the capital to fix them. I had to start letting them
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go. I had a big boat, you know, I had to get
17:21
repossessed anyway, and so I had one little I had an apartment in Venice
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Beach. It was actually a studio that was three hundred square feet that I
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used and I would go back and forth anyway. I went to a job
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in early twenty fourteen, and I had stopped drinking for like a month,
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I guess. But I was miserable. We call them dry drunks. I
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was absolutely miserable. I was super anxious. I was super depressed, but
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I wasn't drinking. I like to say that I didn't have a drinking problem.
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I had a thinking problem. So so, but again this is all
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revealed years later. So, anyway, I got a job in San Antonio,
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Texas. It was a pretty big gig and I hadn't had a big
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gig in a while with I think it was for like Nike with some basketball
18:15
player out of France. Anyway, I went there and I flew in and
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the producer was a woman and she said, hey, meet me at the
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bar. We'll go over the you know, the job. And I said,
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hey, I'm not drinking, so you know, we can meet somewhere
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else if that's okay. She's like, no, no, no, just
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just just meet me. So I get there. She's my boss. I
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go in and I'm sitting there going over the job, and you know,
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she sits in my lap with a Voca Tonic or something, and why aren't
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you drinking? You know? Alcohol is the where's we're is drug. It's
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one of the worst drugs there is, probably the worst. And people think
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there's something they used to do, something wrong with you if you're not drinking,
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right, they do, They go, what's wrong with you? Do
18:55
you have a problem? You know, and they shun you and they make
18:59
you feel bad and they make you feel like an alcoholic and like you're you
19:03
have a sickness and you're you know, like leprosy or something. It's you
19:07
know, very uh, it's very shameful the way they were like back then.
19:11
And I was like, no, I'm just trying to like, you
19:14
know, stay clear for your job. And anyway, I eventually took that
19:18
drink and I drank you know a lot at the bar. I was like,
19:22
I got to get out of here. I left about ten get back
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to my room and there was a mini bar and I don't know if you've
19:27
seen the movie Flight, but it was just like that movie. I saw
19:32
the mini bar and I went, oh shite. Anyway, I drank the
19:36
whole thing, woke up just like Denzel was pretty much in that movie.
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They dragged me to the shoot. I couldn't function, I couldn't walk.
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I mean, they fired me. I went back to the room. I'd
19:48
never been fired before, my reputation. My phone was exploding with you know,
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text messages and phone calls from everywhere, what have, what's going on
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happening, what's good? You know? And I just shut it off in
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my like thirty year career was gone, and like, you know, half
20:04
an hour, it was insane. So I just I was like, so
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I just shut down somehow this day, I still don't know how I got
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home, Like, I don't remember. They cut me off, so I
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had to figure out how to fly home, and I can't. I don't
20:21
even know. I was three days late getting back to Florida. My bags
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were waiting on me. I had stayed in a hotel somewhere, in the
20:27
same clothes for a couple of days. At the airport again, it was
20:32
all a fog. And then somehow I got back to my Venice you know
20:37
beach, a little tiny room I was living in, and I just pulled
20:42
the blind shut and just went on a I don't know. I still don't
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remember two or three month drinking binch. I don't remember. I didn't talk
20:48
to anybody. I was shaking all the time, and I would get up
20:53
at you know, six thirty in the morning, just shaking so hard I
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could barely you know, walk, and I would walk down to a liquor
21:00
store that opened at seven, and you know, buy a small bottle of
21:04
Vokka and put in a paper bag and drink it on Venice Beach. And
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I was like, Wow, how the hell did I get here? You
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know? So one day I was lay. I don't know if it was
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day or night, still don't remember, but I remember I started hallucinating.
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I started hearing things. I started I could feel the like the life force
21:29
leaving my body, and I thought, I'm dying. This is it.
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I'm dying. This is what I've heard about. But I wasn't scared of
21:40
it. I was just realizing that my body was starting to shut down.
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And there was one moment in time where I said, Okay, this is
21:51
the fork in the road. You're either going to live or you're going to
21:53
die right now, right here. You have to make that decision. And
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I was like, I just can't go through another rehab. I just can't.
22:02
It doesn't work. You know, I've done it. I've spent all
22:04
my money, I have no more money. I've tried, I've worked so
22:07
hard with all the conventional ways. I'm a lost cause I just can't do
22:12
it. And there was a little voice that said, you know, just
22:18
try it one more time, Just do it one more time. So I
22:22
got up and somehow I found my phone or whatever, and I called a
22:26
friend and I said, I'm going to try it one more time. Will
22:30
you find me a rehab here in California, and she did and she took
22:34
me, and it was in Malibu and they wouldn't take me because it was
22:41
in such bad shape. So I had to go back to the hospital,
22:44
stay like a week to detox. Over my birthday. I remember spending this
22:49
is ten years ago, ten years ago, June sixth, my birthday in
22:56
the hospital. Nobody called me on my birthday. Nobody came by me,
23:00
like nobody was talking to me. I spent my birthday alone in a hospital
23:04
room, you know, with alcohol withdrawals. So that's how bad I got.
23:10
So anyway I get into rehab, I'm like, I'm so sick of
23:14
it. I knew more than the counselors. I'd done it all before so
23:17
many times. But this time I was like, I don't give I don't
23:19
give a shit what I have to do. I am never, ever,
23:23
ever, ever coming back here. So I did all the work as hard
23:27
as I could. I got out and went into a sober living. I
23:32
tried AA again. It was very different out here in California, very It
23:36
was much more open minded, much more spiritual. The people were much they
23:41
were just higher end. And you know, I was sitting next to movie
23:44
stars and big executives, and there was hundreds and thousands of meetings a day
23:49
literally in La County, every every day. So I was And then I
23:56
found an amazing sponsor who was extremely hard on me, but it's exactly what
24:02
I needed. And I really did the work this time, and I never
24:07
left. I never left California, and you know, and through that,
24:12
I was going to, you know, two meetings a day just to stay
24:17
busy. I was so afraid to being locked in that room the scene of
24:21
the crime, if you will, and I would pick up and start drinking
24:23
again. So I would do that. And then my sponsor was got into
24:30
Kundalini yoga. And it's a very advanced, ancient, very ancient technique of
24:37
all the modalities kind of in one. It's Piranha, it goes back to
24:41
Egyptian times of controlling the mind. It's Buddhist, it's seek, it's all
24:48
of these things all in one. Deep breath control, breathing control, heavy
24:52
duty poses, chanting, very very difficult things, but it all had to
24:56
do with well encompass everything, and it was super super high technology. They're
25:04
just now discovering all these things that the Kundalini's and the Yogis have known for
25:11
millenniums, you know, of the mind and sound and how it affects the
25:15
brain. And so I started doing that and going twice a day to those
25:19
classes because they're very physical, very mental, very challenging. But I could
25:25
feel my brain reprogramming itself, and I could feel my body being stronger and
25:30
stronger. And I wasn't so sensitive because once you come out of a alcohol
25:37
like that. For most of my life, I've never really sat in full
25:41
sadness or full depression and worked through it or any emotion, so you're super
25:47
super sensitive. So and then along the way, I was just shooting little
25:53
things for people here and there to stay busy and trying to meet new friends
25:57
and build a home, new life. And I was shooting some documentaries and
26:03
just with my one little gamera. I had left and I met some people
26:07
that were into ayahuasca and I was like, I've heard of this, and
26:10
this is ten years ago, and it was very underground then, like very
26:14
but you know, here in California, we're you know, we're just on
26:18
the cutting edge of like so many things, and this was one of them.
26:22
So I went to my first ayahuasca ceremony, and it was it just
26:26
took my head off, like it completely eradicated in a few hours, every
26:34
belief system, everything I thought about who I was was an illusion and showed
26:41
me how everything in this earth and this world and universe is connected through a
26:45
spirit, through an intelligence. And it was so beautiful. It's the most
26:51
beautiful experience I've ever had in my life. And for the first time in
26:55
my life, I felt tears of joy, like real joy that I was
27:00
going to be okay. And this was definitely a path that I needed to
27:06
pursue more and more. So now I'm going to ceremonies all the time,
27:11
and I'm doing my AA meetings and I'm doing my Kundalini and you know,
27:18
trying to survive, you know, in the film business. And so it
27:22
was quite It was quite humbling too, because I had to get back to
27:26
work to make Rent and I had to suck it up and run. I
27:30
was a director and you know, this big dude, and I had a
27:34
shoulder up a camera at fifty years old, a thirty pound camera and go
27:40
shoot reality shows for about three years, all twelve hours a day. So
27:44
that was very humbling, But it was part of me building back my mental
27:49
strength and my physical strength and my becoming humble and thankful and grateful because I
27:56
should have been dead. And so that's that's the path of how I found
28:02
psychedelics to help me. But it was in combination with so many other things.
28:07
And you know, I got to a point where I knew I needed
28:11
to get out of that one room, three hundred square foot you know thing
28:17
I was in the box because I knew I would go drink again. I
28:21
knew it was just two. There was you know, homeless people all around
28:25
me, and so I dumped my last property. I had a five bedroom
28:30
house on the ocean in Florida that I was barely keeping alive. I just
28:33
dumped it. Lost six hundred grand and I managed to have pull out half
28:40
a million dollars in equity and I stuck that in the bank. And then
28:42
I had met somebody online who basically got me a fake loan. It was,
28:48
you know, what they call a hard money loan, and I had
28:52
that. I had an approval letter with that. So I started looking around
28:57
for a place to get it out of there. And during that time,
29:02
I got a gig to go to Hawaii, the jungles of Hawaii and shoot
29:10
the making of ayahuasca. So I was like, oh my god, that's
29:12
so cool. So yeah, so I go there. It's a buddy of
29:17
mine, he's one of my good friends. Now i'd met him through the
29:19
ceremony loop. And I go there and it's super intense. It's like the
29:25
shaman we're in the jungle cutting the vine. Ayahuasca's made of two components.
29:30
It's made of a vine and it's made up of a chikuna leaf that has
29:34
the actual DMT and it's cooked a special way and they make it very spiritually
29:41
and very in a sacred process anyway. But the shaman was like, I've
29:45
never had anybody shooting a photography here. I'm not crazy about it, so
29:48
you have to work. And I was like, yeah, get it.
29:52
So he would. We would drink medicine all day. It's raining in the
29:56
jungle, there's you know, and every night there was a but with no
30:00
electricity, no plumbing, and we would do deep dive journeys every night in
30:04
the jungle and it was just wild. It was just insane. And I
30:11
I met there was like eight or ten of us at this at this camp
30:15
to make ayahuask and I met a realtor there and I said, hey,
30:18
man, I'm trying to get out of this this hole because I'm gonna I'm
30:22
going to spiral down again. I can feel it. And he goes,
30:26
i'll help you out. So we started looking at properties with rental. I
30:30
needed rental income to pay. I didn't have a job, you know,
30:33
so I needed I was like, I got to get out of here.
30:36
I got to buy something, but I don't have a job. But I
30:37
had this like fake loan. And so anyway, we're looking around town Venice,
30:44
you know, where all my meetings are, my yogas and everything.
30:47
And so I made a couple offers but nothing went through. And then he
30:52
said, what about Tapega And I was like, Tapenga, like way up
30:59
in the hill there, isolated where we do mushroom hikes. He goes,
31:03
yeah, there's a there's a property up there with the building on it that
31:07
could be developed into something. And I went, there's no way, man,
31:10
like I'll be like I'll be I'll be isolated. That was one of
31:14
the biggest problems I had. You know, I was isolated a lot.
31:17
I had this big house. I was never in and when I got home,
31:19
you know, my friends were working, so I'd sit in my head
31:22
and I'd just drink all day. So I was really nervous about that.
31:26
He goes, well, just go look at it, and I said,
31:29
all right, So I drive up here. I can't find it. It's
31:30
like hidden, you know, it's this whole thing. I get in out
31:36
of the car, I look at it, and I'm going, look at
31:37
it's two acres of property. I'm like, there's like no way, like
31:41
I know what it takes to maintain these things, and I don't. Like
31:45
again I don't it's one of me, like I don't have So anyway,
31:48
I and the architecture was okay, and you know, but anyway, I
31:52
walk in the front door and this feeling, this overwhelming feeling, and I
32:00
can't explain it language. It was just I knew I had to be here,
32:06
there was something here, It was here. I just had to make,
32:09
you know, be here or this was already I was already here or
32:15
whatever. So I don't, you know, know, But but the point
32:21
is I listened. After I started doing ayahuasca, I started listening and feeling
32:25
information when it would come in I stopped doing things logical right, whatever logical
32:34
is like, you know, I tell people there's no straight lines in nature,
32:37
right, There's no like one path. So I walk outside on the
32:43
driveway and I do a logic check. Even so it was like, can
32:46
you afford it? No? Can you maintain it? No? Do you
32:50
know? Do you know anybody? Do you know anybody here? No?
32:52
Can you afford it? You know, can you afford it? You already
32:55
asked me that No, no, no, no, no made zero sense.
33:00
And I looked at him and I said, I don't I don't know
33:02
what to tell you, man, but I'm supposed to do this, and
33:06
he goes, okay. So I bought it, and then I move in.
33:09
I'm like, what the hell have I done? Like I am?
33:15
I mean, I'm way up these windy roads, you know, by myself
33:20
in this big place that I can't afford maintain, No, no one here,
33:23
nothing. But I just followed this feeling, and so I called somebody
33:30
who was in the spiritual world. I'm trying to hang around spiritual people,
33:32
you know, hang around a whole new crowd. You have to rebuild everything.
33:36
When you're rebuilding your life, you cannot go back to the same people
33:39
you hung out with, because they'll pull you back in. So I called
33:43
somebody and I said, hey, I'm just looking to rent one of the
33:45
rooms to you know, offset the mortgage and I want to get new friends.
33:50
And she goes, what about me? I said, okay. So
33:53
she moved in and knew a ton of people in the Topeka area that were
33:58
all these you know, spiritual people or whatever. They started coming over.
34:01
We started, you know, doing ayahuasca ceremonies here. This is like ten
34:07
years ago and now I'm sorry, this is seven years ago. We started
34:10
doing all these events. We started doing this stuff, and I started realizing,
34:16
I mean, there was a lot of bumps in the road, but
34:19
overall, like to where we are today, like this place wasn't I didn't
34:24
get this place for me. I got this place to help myself as well
34:29
as others. So we have had hundreds of ceremonies and healing sessions and breath
34:36
work and just overall you know, mental health escape. You know, people
34:42
come to me, and my fear of being isolated was completely flipped. I
34:46
don't go anywhere. Everybody comes here. They want to be here, right,
34:51
So I'm pulling not me but the I'm the vessel. But the magnitude
34:55
of healing that this land has and what it does for others is astonishing.
35:01
And I'm just the guy, you know, paying the mortgage. Right,
35:05
so we have I literally could not leave here for a month and be slammed,
35:12
you know. So we've become we've become this healing center for mental health
35:16
and just well being in general. And so that's sorry for the long story,
35:22
but you know, six years ago in this thing, I'm still trying
35:28
to maintain my film career, which is, you know, it's it's a
35:30
totally different world now with everything that's going on, you know, nobody's and
35:35
I'm in Los Angeles trying to compete. Now my reels you know, dated,
35:38
And so I started you know, uh doing you know, taking mushrooms
35:45
on a daily basis and hiking and things to keep to settle my mind.
35:50
And so it kind of came through many different ways to start growing mushrooms for
35:57
myself and my friends and a lot of friends that were healers, and they
36:01
were looking for sources that were legit. So I started growing them and I
36:07
started learning how to do that, which is very very difficult to do it
36:10
at you know, any type of consistency or quality. And so six years
36:17
ago, I started, you know, growing. It's crazy. I'm like,
36:23
what the hell you're growing your director and you're growing mushrooms in your basement,
36:28
Like how did I get here? You know? And we actually made
36:32
a TV show out of it. It's being pitched a guy right out to
36:36
comedy about all of this because it's quite entertaining, like, you know,
36:42
my whole life now, the people that come and go through here, and
36:44
I'm just like, you can't even write this kind of stuff, you know,
36:46
healers and mystics, and you know it's actually on our YouTube channel.
36:52
But it's pretty it's pretty funny. It's kind of like a curb your enthusiasm,
36:57
but in the hippie world of to pay. But anyway, I started
37:01
doing that and failing, you know all the time, there's contamination all the
37:07
time. We'd start back up, but I never quit. It just kept
37:09
going. It just knew I would figure it out, and uh, you
37:15
know, but then I would run out of money and I'd shut it down.
37:19
And then I'd but there's something in me. I'd started back up.
37:22
And anyway, four years ago, I uh, it was when the marijuana
37:27
guys were starting to look at mushrooms as the next thing, which was you
37:30
know, and I had these processes. So they started, you know,
37:35
these guys started watching me and they wanted to invest in me and need the
37:37
capital. So so I did and but it was not the right move.
37:45
And they were you know, the people I was working with were basically criminals,
37:49
and they you know, took everything. And uh So, anyway,
37:52
I shut it all down again. I threw everything. I had a tent
37:55
in the backyard. I threw all the equipment in the backyard. I was
37:58
ready to burn it. I was so traumatized. I tried for three or
38:01
four years and I just lost all this money. And anyway, uh So,
38:07
buddy of mine, who's a big shaman in Europe, he called me
38:10
and he said, hey, I'm doing a iya ceremony. I was a
38:15
ceremony in La and I was wondering if I could use your house and I
38:19
said, yeah, sure because I hadn't done it in a long time.
38:22
And so he comes in and we usually hold like twelve people. He had
38:28
twenty two people. So there was people's just bodies everywhere, and I'm like,
38:32
dude, like how what if somebody you know there's going to be ten
38:37
percent go wild and you know, because now they won't. And I go,
38:40
oh, I'm telling you, So I'm going I'm going to be what
38:45
we call an angel. I'm going to monitor everybody because I want to make
38:46
sure everybody's okay. And he goes, okay, but you have to drink
38:50
a working dose, which is a very little bit, and I said,
38:53
yeah, fine, okay. I mean we had people, we had pulled
38:57
all the kitchen furniture out that were laying everywhere, and so I drank just
39:01
a tiny bit and it just launched me to the moon. And not only
39:07
could I not angel, I was like flying and this all this this story
39:14
has relevant. So I'm not just telling stories ere they all have relevance.
39:17
So and on a side note, I had I had for the first time
39:22
in decades. I had like a big movie coming up that I was going
39:25
to shoot and the TV series, so I was looking forward to getting some
39:30
income finally, to you know, to actually have a gig job. So
39:34
anyway, I go into this Ayawaskad journey. And when if you haven't been
39:37
in a Iyawaskad journey, we talk about the mother it's uh, there's this
39:43
there's this feminine energy that is you know God, if you will, It's
39:49
like Mother Earth, and it shows you. It's very it can be very
39:52
very harsh or very very kind, and it shows you truth. It shows
39:57
you who you really are. It shows you why you're here. It shows
40:00
you how things connect, how you're missing the pieces of solving a problem,
40:06
like the obvious things that you're not paying attention to. It's very you know,
40:10
it's it's you cannot explain it in language anyway. The mother shows up
40:15
immediately and she says, hey, we've been wanting fun to talk to you.
40:20
You've been avoiding us. And I was like, oh no, here
40:22
comes the reckoning and h I said. She goes, you know the mushroom
40:28
thing you're doing and I go yeah. She goes, yeah, you're getting
40:31
back in it. And I went no, no, no, no,
40:34
no, no no way, I don't know what I'm doing. It's obvious.
40:37
I have you know, I've been ripped off. You go no,
40:38
no, no, no, no, you're doing it wrong. You're doing
40:42
it all wrong. And I said, I said okay. She goes,
40:47
yeah, the mushrooms like I was farming out the science of it. It's
40:52
very difficult, the mycology part, you know, the spores and getting the
40:55
right genetics. You know, you need a geneticist. So I was farming
40:59
all that out and then we were, you know, and she was going,
41:01
no, no, you had the mushrooms want you. They want you
41:06
to learn everything, and that ten years of alcoholism and rehabs and all that
41:10
stuff was necessary for who you're going to become today. You're going to be
41:15
the voice of this, this new path, this ancient path that is now
41:22
being revisited on Earth for you to help heal the masses and help and they'll
41:30
listen to listen to you because of your authentic struggle of this. You know,
41:36
this what you thought was your darkest times was actually your training camp for
41:39
what you're about to do. And they said, they said, and here's
41:45
what you'll be helping humanity with. And it showed me this montage. It
41:49
was like hard to explain again in language of death and suicide and disease and
41:53
addiction and war. And she said, this is what you'll be helping humanity
41:59
with. And they will listen to you. They won't listen to the others,
42:02
but they listen to you. And you and but going forward, you
42:07
have to only work with mindful people that believe in this medicine. And you
42:12
have to protect the medicine and honor it and speak truth and do not do
42:19
it for the money, do it for the healing. And and then she
42:23
went on to say, we know you're scared. We know you're scared,
42:29
but if you do this the way we've told you, we will protect you.
42:37
So I get emotionalen I talk about it anyway, I get so I
42:42
get out of that ceremony. I'm like, what, like, what what?
42:45
How? What do I do? And two weeks later, the pandemic
42:50
hit. The pandemic hit, and all my movie business gone in an hour,
42:55
right, No, everybody's shut down, And I went, okay,
43:00
I'm listening. I'm listening. So I kicked the door, you know,
43:05
on zip the tent, sort of pulling stuff out. Now I had all
43:07
the free time in the world, so I studied and worked and worked by
43:13
myself for twelve hours a day. That was January twenty twenty, and I
43:20
haven't stopped working twelve hours a day since. So we're in this, you
43:27
know, and you know we are you know we are growing psychedelic mushrooms for
43:37
healing, not for partying. I mean, of course we want people to
43:40
have fun and that is part of healing, right, So we do have
43:45
those products, but we are honoring the medicine as it is in nature,
43:50
not synthetic, not extracted, not whatever they're doing to it, replicating it.
43:55
They're butchering the sacredness of the mushroom. They're just you know, for
44:02
profit, and the marijuana guys have taken over and they're shoving it into gummies,
44:07
and I mean, that is not what this, these these sacred fungus
44:12
were put on this earth for. They were put on this earth for religious
44:15
and spiritual and you know, information and helping solving problems and healing relationships,
44:24
including ourselves. First for millenniums every I don't know if you've read the book
44:30
Immortality Key. There's a documentary coming out, but there's been so much research
44:36
proving that all religious modalities on planet are today had some psychoactive plant ritual in
44:43
them, you know. So the Sacrament of Christianity, they went back and
44:47
they studied the text and they dissected some of the chemistry of the wines and
44:52
stuff, and all of them had psychedelic you know plants in them, roots,
44:59
mushrooms, you know, tinctures in Greece. So this is nothing new.
45:04
And then it became hidden and you know, burned. They burned all
45:07
the texts, they destroyed the cities that were using these methods. Because it
45:14
frees the mind, it shows us purpose, it shows us meaning. So
45:19
there's no coincidences that this sacred medicine has re emerged just when we needed it.
45:28
And now what we call the aquarium age, which is there's no question
45:31
we're at a very big crossroad of being totally controlled or having our free will.
45:38
And along with this is a massive epidemic of mental illness, and it
45:45
is created by us ourselves. As the Buddhists say, we create our own
45:52
misery. It's so true. Ninety seven percent of our worries will never happen.
45:57
That's a scientific study, right, five to nine. Yet we live
46:01
in them where they run us all day long, and they're an illusion.
46:06
So I make the analogy that these worries are like like windows open on the
46:12
desk top of your computer. Yeah, and you is that everything? Okay?
46:20
Yeah? Dog, just okay, were still connected. I just want
46:24
to make sure we're connected, Okay, so yeah, I'm just talking away.
46:29
But anyway I make I make the analogy that you know, our worries,
46:32
our imaginary worries, are like windows open on the desktop of your computer.
46:37
You got hundreds of these things going. They're all running, they're all
46:38
taking battery power, they're all clogging the computer. You can't think, you
46:44
can't function. Well, it's the same thing in our brain, right,
46:46
So, so what mushrooms do is part of the ego. But they start
46:52
shutting these windows down, right. So, and by the way, when
46:54
you're having all these thoughts of panic, your body doesn't know the difference between
47:01
you paying the mortgage and you being in some sort of trouble with a tiger
47:07
being chased, chasing you or something, right, So it's releasing the appropriate
47:12
chemicals of that adrenaline and cortisol. And we know these things kill us.
47:16
And we live in these states of worry and panic, not for a day
47:21
or two like we did in you know, thousands of years ago, but
47:23
we live in them for decades. So then we have heart disease, and
47:27
we have cancer, then we have Crohn's disease, we have all these We
47:30
have high blood pressure, on and on and on. And on. Right,
47:34
So then we you know, the mind follow I mean, the body
47:37
follows the mind. It's an unobjective it's an objective observer of the minds the
47:44
body. So we become sick, and we basically are through through our thoughts
47:50
creating these sicknesses that eventually can kill us. Right, So just by turning
47:57
off these this is what microdosing does. Turns off and shuts down these artificial
48:02
worries and puts you back into you. So microdosing doesn't give you any psychoactive
48:08
effect. It just turns off your worry. And if I said to you,
48:13
who would you be if you had no worries? Right, You'd be
48:16
like a six year old kid, run around playing all day. That's that's
48:20
why they're having fun. They don't have any worries. Right. So then
48:27
that's how it works. It doesn't chemically affect the brain other than giving it
48:30
peace and a break of you know, the nonsense. It doesn't you know,
48:38
like SSRIs are very dangerous. I mean they worked. I took them.
48:43
They worked for a moment in time. You know. Obviously I'm not
48:46
a neuroscientist or anything, but we do have lots and lots of our own
48:52
data with hundreds and not thousands of customers. But you know, severe mental
48:58
illness aside. You know they're they're not really healthy. You know, they're
49:04
rewiring the serotonin receptors and what have you. So or or benzo diazepines that
49:10
just they just cut you off, so they numb you, but they're not
49:15
they're not fixing the problem. So, you know, worry and anxiety.
49:19
Like anything, if you repeat something over and over again, it becomes what
49:22
we call a habit. Right, So like you drive your car, you're
49:27
not your conscious mind's not driving your car. Your subconscious mind is driving your
49:30
car. You've driven it so much you've turned that task over to the automatic
49:36
pilot in your in your body, the subconscious right. So I mean we
49:39
can drive and talk on the phone and we're fine. Right, so we're
49:44
well, that happens with everything, So worry. That's because you've driven the
49:49
car so much. The neuropathways in your brain have have designed a pattern that
49:52
talks to your body without you getting involved. Right, And as a Yogi
49:58
saying, the scientists are now verifying the subconscious mind is ten times more powerful
50:01
than the conscious mind. So that's also where all our illusionary fears lie.
50:06
That's where trauma lies. And when you put in a pickle or in a
50:10
you know, some sort of crisis, the subconscious takes over and you if
50:15
you don't know how to control it, it'll it'll dominate. And that's when
50:19
crazy stuff starts happening because it's driven by fear, it's driven by survival.
50:24
Right, So, unaware mind can be you know, dangerous. So but
50:30
these these worries and anxieties are habits now because you've done those so many times
50:38
now, the neuropathways in the brain are wired for you to become to just
50:44
wake up and panic for actually no real reason, right, so I used
50:49
to I know, I'm speaking from experience. So there's a there's an old
50:53
saying. I don't know if it's Buddhism or whatever, but something like watch
50:58
your thoughts. Your thoughts become habits, and habits become your destiny. Right.
51:04
So, right, so this is you know, part of what we're
51:07
doing is just you know, creating awareness. So once you're aware, you
51:14
can't fix something or see anything if you don't know it's there. Right,
51:20
So you're running retreats now, correct? Do you have retreats for the ayahuasca
51:23
ceremonies and do you have a product for them as well? So, no,
51:30
we don't do ayahuasca. We we had we there's many there's many components
51:36
to what we do here at frequency. And let me tell you real quick
51:40
why it's called frequency. Mushrooms are very similar to human beings, right,
51:47
the kind that we grow. Especially they're sentient. Not I'm not talking about
51:52
the psychoactive component, but mushrooms in general are very highly, highly intelligent.
51:58
The myceelium is highly intelligent. It knows what to do. It's the Internet
52:02
and network of the forest. I don't know if you've seen fantastic fung guy
52:07
but explains it very clearly. But they breathe oxygen, they exhale carbon dioxide.
52:14
They learn, They grow in little groups. I call them families.
52:16
They support each other, you know, on and on and on. So
52:22
a few years back, I was in my state of panic and fear and
52:27
whatever, and I was getting contamination and all of that, and I sold
52:30
a announce to a shaman friend of mine and he called me two days later
52:37
and he said, hey, man, me and my friend went very deep,
52:42
on a very very deep journey with your medicine, and we both saw
52:46
you independently, saw you in our journeys, and we felter your fear,
52:52
We felter frustration, We saw the contamination. He said, your thoughts,
52:57
vibration, and frequency are in the fiber of the mushrooms. That I went
53:08
right. So I was like, once again, I'm looking very different differently.
53:13
I live, and I listen and I feel, and I went wow.
53:16
So that's when I came up with the idea of so our mushrooms are
53:21
grown in a sound chamber, sealed underground, and mother Earth has a very
53:25
positive frequency of healing. The ancients used to bury injured people in the earth
53:31
to heal them, and it does. It works. They still do it
53:34
in the Amazon because the earth is, you know, a healing vibration of
53:37
the Shuman residence. Right. So I built this sound chamber and we have
53:44
speakers all in it and we play nothing but mantras. We play crystal bowls.
53:47
It's basically all the scientific frequencies of healing, of the of different of
53:52
the chakras, of thought, of love. It's science. This is science,
53:58
you know. Five twenty eight forquency produces oxytocin in the brain. The
54:02
love chemical. I can get really scientific. We don't have time for that,
54:07
but anyway, that's what we do. And they're grown in this loving
54:09
environment. And everybody that works here, we have a small it's a small
54:14
boutique, are healers. So they themselves have been healed as myself with this
54:22
medicine, right, So, I mean, this is the only thing that
54:25
worked for me. It's the only thing that keeps me alive today because I
54:30
realize I see the illusions and I see who I really am. And you
54:37
know, when people ask me, how did I change? And again you
54:40
know this is I speak all from experience, like this is I mean,
54:46
I read and I study, but this is all the hard way. This
54:51
is knowledge. But I realize that we have this story of who we think
54:54
we are running in our amygdala. They call it the default mode network,
55:00
but it's our identity, right, and it runs subconsciously. We don't know
55:04
it's even there, but of who we think we are and this is my
55:07
these are my words, but it runs all the time. It's all the
55:12
time, and then the ego wants to subconsciously validate that story because the ego
55:17
always wants to be right. This is what wars are fought about right,
55:22
I have to be right, you're wrong, like you don't have to be
55:24
right. But that's an ego thing, but it does it subconsciously. So
55:29
again, an untrained mind does not even know this is happening. So most
55:32
of what we who we think we are a core identity, comes from childhood.
55:37
It's from what other people are telling us who we are, right,
55:42
And they don't even know who they are, and they're telling us, Hey,
55:45
you're dumb, Hey you're smart, Hey you're a princess, Hey you're
55:47
fat, you're whatever. So in your head, that story is running,
55:52
and it runs all the time, and it's going to validate it. Yes,
55:55
I am unlovable. So my story used to be this is why I
55:59
never got sober, which I even hate that word because what does that mean?
56:04
Yeah, but my story was because everybody's telling me your middle aged,
56:10
washed up alcoholic failure director. And there's thousands of them littering the streets of
56:16
Los Angeles, right, they're everywhere, right they are. I seen them
56:21
in the meetings, you know, And so when I was in that drinking
56:24
mode, I was validating that some story subconsciously. No matter what I did,
56:30
no matter how many meetings, no matter therapy, no matter what,
56:32
I would always eventually pick up a drink to validate that story, right until
56:40
I shattered it. And again I didn't even realize I was doing any of
56:44
this till years later I shattered that story and I created a new one of
56:49
a healer, and I don't even know. I'm just doing I was going
56:52
one hour at a time, not one day at a time. I just
56:54
try to meet healthy people, do healthy things and stay friends friends, and
56:59
do you know? And now I realized I was. This is what God
57:01
had in mind for me, is to build this foundation solid of truth and
57:08
purpose and who I am now. Right, So my story is obviously very
57:15
different, and my brain looks for ways to validate that, and it has
57:22
no interest in picking up a drink. I'll tell you that. So this
57:27
is an awesome story. I had so many questions for you, but you
57:30
answered them as you went through all the different moving parts, and we are
57:35
really out of time. So oh sorry, okay, no, no,
57:37
that's okay. How do my listeners find your product? How do they find
57:42
and connect with what you're doing? Well, they can go to our website.
57:50
It's frequencycaps dot com. We also on there. You'll find we have
57:54
an instagram with education. We do lots of education, right, That's what
57:59
I'm doing right now, right, and I can talk about this stuff for
58:01
hours. Obviously maybe we'd do another podcast, but education number one, like
58:07
what is this house? It work? Whatever? I have a YouTube channel
58:09
if you go to our website or you can look us up frequency caps of
58:14
content our Instagram. I'm constantly posting things on education events, all of that.
58:20
So we have products like microdoves for the consumer. We also have a
58:24
complete facilitator support system that supports them with medicine for their retreats and their clients,
58:35
you know, to help them break addictions and whatever. We do some,
58:39
but we're more about supporting the actual the facilitators. I am, you
58:44
know, I'm a facilitator. I'm gonna be licensed shortly because that's all New
58:47
territory. But we also have a partner with a school that teaches the facilitator
58:55
training program that is accredited. So that's part of our supporting the facilitator with
59:00
the medicine, with all the things you need to do these these things properly
59:07
legally and effectively. Because this you know, psychedelics without proper intention, integration
59:15
and use can be harmful just as anything, right, So so we have
59:22
that, and then we do sponsor retreats like we have. I have properties.
59:28
I have another one and I manage it in the desert, but and
59:32
I have others that we can rent. But we sponsor these things called healing
59:37
retreats, frequency healing, because that's what the real mission is is to have
59:40
people experience this because until you experience it, you cannot understand it. So
59:45
we're teaching people how to understand it themselves, right, And so so we
59:52
have that as well. And like we're working with you know, we're working
59:57
with scientists, We're working with psychologists, We're working with the psyche Cadelic Studies
1:00:01
of psilocybin at USC. We're very involved, you know, with very legit
1:00:07
people were not like hippies growing mushrooms in the basement. I'm a nerd.
1:00:10
I'm a nerd. I'm all about science and spiritual science. I speak in
1:00:15
yoga science, which is a very high end technology that is now starting to
1:00:20
mesh with Western science. But anyway, we're here in California at the peak
1:00:24
of not the peak, the beginning of this real massive shift and consciousness,
1:00:30
So we're part of all of that, you know, and that's what we're
1:00:36
Yeah, we're just bringing legitimate science and people's testimony mine especially that I would
1:00:45
not be here today without psychedelics. And not only am I here, we
1:00:49
are thriving because we are just trying to get the message out so that people
1:00:54
can find us before they pull the trigger. And you know, because people
1:00:59
are we have people we know committing suicide all the time, and we're suicide
1:01:05
prevention right here, So that's what we're doing. I think this is a
1:01:08
great product. So I think it's a great story of how you got here
1:01:13
and what you're doing to help people. Definitely beneficial. We're going to put
1:01:16
the links and everything up in your bio so people can find you and do
1:01:22
some you know threading through of what we have as well, so that people
1:01:25
can get to you and find the resources. And I do want to thank
1:01:30
you for coming on the show today. It's awesome to have you. You're
1:01:32
listening to Unpause your Life with Doctor Callistas and my guest today was Mark Cole.
1:01:38
Thanks for having me. Thank you for listening to Unpause your Life with
1:01:46
Doctor Kelly Estez and Master Coach Jenny Fontana. Head over to www dot the
1:01:53
Life coach methic dot com to learn more about coaching yourself and how to become
1:01:59
a mass their outs