Latest / Armstrong & Getty One More Thing / Cleaning Out the Dorm Fridge!
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: There's room for a half dozen beers and some snackables.
- 0:02Speaker 1: We're cleaning out the dorm fridge. One more thing.
- 0:06Speaker 2: I'm the mini fridge, one of the greatest conventions of
- 0:14Speaker 2: all time.
- 0:15Speaker 1: Oh so true, so true, so unobtrusive, so easily fit
- 0:22Speaker 1: in virtually any space, and yet keeps food cold, so
- 0:26Speaker 1: you don't have to walk over there.
- 0:29Speaker 2: Or we can have it at work, or you know whatever.
- 0:31Speaker 2: You can't bring a big, giant refrigerator into your office
- 0:34Speaker 2: at work, you can have a little mini fridge tucked
- 0:37Speaker 2: underneath your cubicle, right, or your.
- 0:39Speaker 1: Main refrigerator looks respectable and nobody has any idea what
- 0:43Speaker 1: a boozer you are because you've got the mini fridge
- 0:46Speaker 1: over there in the man cave. I'm speaking for a
- 0:50Speaker 1: friend anyway, So we've got a little cleaning out to do.
- 0:56Speaker 1: We're gonna start slightly outragey, but move toward pure delight.
- 1:03Speaker 1: Who's in the mood for some pure delight? Sounds like
- 1:07Speaker 1: you're about to get touched unethically, all right, Michael, We'll
- 1:10Speaker 1: start fourteen.
- 1:11Speaker 2: Brace yourself, imagine faking your own assassination attempt for the
- 1:15Speaker 2: third time, and then everybody should have subset that it
- 1:18Speaker 2: wasn't real and that you didn't croak.
- 1:20Speaker 3: I wake up each morning hoping he has died. I
- 1:24Speaker 3: go to bed each night hoping by the time I
- 1:28Speaker 3: get up in the morning, he has died. For the
- 1:32Speaker 3: love of all things good.
- 1:35Speaker 2: Shocked he died. They missed again. It's America.
- 1:43Speaker 4: Missed a kid.
- 1:44Speaker 3: If somebody misses one more time, nobody wants to work
- 1:48Speaker 3: these days.
- 1:49Speaker 2: Nobody wants to get out there and work. Wow, that's
- 1:54Speaker 2: just a couple of days.
- 1:56Speaker 1: Quickie roundup of deranged leftists saying what they said about
- 2:00Speaker 1: the latest attempted assassination of Donald J.
- 2:04Speaker 5: I need America.
- 2:06Speaker 2: I've known two people it was back first term, but
- 2:09Speaker 2: two people who they weren't I at least not out
- 2:12Speaker 2: loud to the point of wanting him assassinated. But they
- 2:15Speaker 2: were definitely in the every single day of their lives.
- 2:18Speaker 2: Oh my god, what did he do now? Oh? Oh oh.
- 2:21Speaker 2: I don't even want to look living their lives in
- 2:24Speaker 2: such pain. For the existence of Donald Trump as president
- 2:28Speaker 2: seems so crazy to me. How do you know it
- 2:30Speaker 2: fulfills the psychological need of something? Clearly? Yeah, clearly it does.
- 2:35Speaker 1: Boy. Anyway, eh, Amazement and outrage. But I promised you
- 2:41Speaker 1: pure delight and here it comes.
- 2:44Speaker 2: Does this need any setting up?
- 2:45Speaker 1: Michael?
- 2:47Speaker 5: The year was nineteen ninety and this was a video
- 2:50Speaker 5: that explains here's how to use the Internet and what
- 2:52Speaker 5: it is.
- 2:53Speaker 2: Oh boy. The browser is the application that allows you
- 2:57Speaker 2: to view all of.
- 2:57Speaker 1: The information on the web.
- 2:59Speaker 2: Sometimes you can get it free from your ISP, or
- 3:02Speaker 2: friend can download it for you on a disc.
- 3:03Speaker 1: You can also buy a browser or download one from
- 3:06Speaker 1: the Internet.
- 3:06Speaker 2: You might want to explain what it means to download.
- 3:08Speaker 6: It means to transfer a file of information from a
- 3:11Speaker 6: main computer or server to your computer.
- 3:14Speaker 5: And it's easy to do too.
- 3:15Speaker 3: Even I know how you can download games or anything.
- 3:17Speaker 2: Now you need to connect your ISP.
- 3:19Speaker 1: You click on the icon and then choose connect.
- 3:21Speaker 3: You can hear it.
- 3:22Speaker 1: Dialing sounds weird, humped and now we're online poor in
- 3:26Speaker 1: nineteen nineties. Porn nineteen nineties. It'll ruin society. Run for
- 3:31Speaker 1: your lives, Run for your lives.
- 3:34Speaker 2: Everything you've ever known is about to change for the worse.
- 3:38Speaker 2: Except for looking things up. That's much better. Yes, And
- 3:42Speaker 2: I'm not sure it's a good trade off. Oh I
- 3:45Speaker 2: didn't say that, Moly, nineteen nineties. Early because we started
- 3:48Speaker 2: ninety two right, kind of getting an internet stuff when
- 3:51Speaker 2: we were downloading stuff at that job, that first job
- 3:54Speaker 2: we got together.
- 3:57Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, it was ninety two ninety three.
- 4:00Speaker 2: Man, it was so slow. Just getting text was so slow.
- 4:04Speaker 2: Oh yeah.
- 4:04Speaker 1: We were like trying to download twenty pages of text
- 4:07Speaker 1: and it would take forty five minutes, and if somebody
- 4:10Speaker 1: called you during that time, you had to start again.
- 4:13Speaker 5: I remember if you were downloading porn, it was like,
- 4:15Speaker 5: there's a head, there's a chest. It just took forever
- 4:18Speaker 5: for a body to appear.
- 4:19Speaker 2: There must have been very disappointing to a young masturbating Michaelangel.
- 4:23Speaker 2: It's all about anticipation.
- 4:25Speaker 6: The allure sounds like, you know, yeah, it builds up.
- 4:29Speaker 1: Oh and I tell you what you get down to
- 4:31Speaker 1: the next you got her shirt on, You're like, oh
- 4:33Speaker 1: my god, I just wasted tens and it cost me
- 4:36Speaker 1: fifty dollars terribly, and now I'm on a list of
- 4:42Speaker 1: porn enthusiasts.
- 4:43Speaker 5: Damn it.
- 4:44Speaker 1: Yeah, run for your lives nineteen nineties. Imagine ignoring all
- 4:48Speaker 1: of your friends because you're looking at a screen that
- 4:50Speaker 1: brings you no joy.
- 4:52Speaker 2: Well, then why would I look at it? Because you're addicted,
- 4:57Speaker 2: say goodbye to focusing.
- 5:00Speaker 1: Whoops, this was supposed to be pure to light and
- 5:01Speaker 1: then said it was just took a turn. Yeah, it
- 5:04Speaker 1: took a turn. I swear I won't this one will
- 5:07Speaker 1: not take a turn. This will stay on the straight
- 5:10Speaker 1: and narrow of what was the phrase pure delight.
- 5:15Speaker 2: To hang on a second? Hangout, Katie? Do you want
- 5:17Speaker 2: to set this one up?
- 5:18Speaker 1: The restaurant one?
- 5:19Speaker 6: Yeah, I can't. So this guy he goes into fast
- 5:21Speaker 6: food restaurants and as he gives as he gets his food,
- 5:24Speaker 6: he yells the slogan of the restaurant and why just
- 5:30Speaker 6: because it's funny and people enjoy it.
- 5:34Speaker 7: I will you know what what because no one pizza
- 5:38Speaker 7: the Hut together three two one, no one else pizza Hut.
- 5:45Speaker 4: Yeah, he fresh because of America runs on.
- 6:15Speaker 2: That taco bell.
- 6:17Speaker 6: He was yelling live moss oh, and then everybody was
- 6:21Speaker 6: yelling it back.
- 6:22Speaker 1: I think to Mike was over at the Burger King
- 6:25Speaker 1: that was recording him.
- 6:26Speaker 2: I would like to go into Army's and say we've
- 6:28Speaker 2: got the meat to absolutely think you should you go
- 6:34Speaker 2: to McDonald's enough you can do?
- 6:35Speaker 1: What what is McDonald Well, this is a really attractive
- 6:38Speaker 1: burger product.
- 6:41Speaker 2: That's funny. My kids and I we do that joke
- 6:44Speaker 2: a lot. How do you how do you even attack
- 6:46Speaker 2: this thing? This is a fine burger product.
- 6:53Speaker 5: Wow, well, I guess that's it.