Latest / Rachel Oates / JUST BREAK UP ALREADY

Transcript

JUST BREAK UP ALREADY · Rachel Oates

0:00
Hey everyone, and welcome back to a new video.
0:02
Today's video is going to be a bit more relaxed than normal.
0:04
I've been doing a lot of big deep dives and research heavy
0:08
videos recently and I just want to do something a little bit
0:11
sillier and more lighthearted and like less of the intense
0:16
analysis and more of just like, let's read some ridiculous
0:20
stories from Reddit and just kind of casually talk about them
0:23
amongst ourselves, right? Today we're going to be looking
0:26
a bunch of stories from people who just need to break up, like
0:29
seriously break up. One of the big things I've
0:32
always said in my videos is that, and in my real personal
0:35
life as well, is that like, I would much rather be happier
0:38
alone than in the wrong relationship.
0:40
This is something that I've definitely learned over the last
0:42
like 5-6 years in particular. And I think being in my early
0:47
30s now has kind of like made me realise that like, I am very
0:50
content with my life and to bring someone into this life,
0:53
they need to be pretty damn special.
0:55
You know, I'm not just going to, like, give up all my freedom and
0:58
independence for no one, but a lot of people aren't like that.
1:02
There's a lot of pressures from a lot of society around us,
1:07
often from our family, from our friends, that we need to find
1:10
someone, we need to be with someone, we need to be part of a
1:12
couple or we've failed at something.
1:13
We are not doing something properly if we're single.
1:17
And so for that reason, I think a lot of people stay with people
1:20
who are wrong for them or settle for the wrong people.
1:23
And that can just be really unhealthy for everyone involved.
1:27
That is true of a lot of the stories we're going to be
1:28
reading today. Apologies if you can hear my
1:31
oven in the background. I'm just cooking some food
1:33
because it's late and I'm starving.
1:35
And finally, a cheeky little bit of self promotion before we
1:37
start. If you like the T-shirt I'm
1:38
wearing today, it is one of my own designs that is available in
1:41
my merch store along with other cool designs.
1:43
And there's all sorts of stuff over there that you can go check
1:46
out for yourself. You can also support my channel
1:48
through Patreon if you want go follow my second channel more
1:51
Rachel Oates, where I post clips on there from my longer videos
1:54
and also more casual kind of like vlogs and the mini book
1:59
reviews and makeup videos and stuff like that.
2:01
I also post clips of my longer videos over on TikTok and I am
2:08
posting the audio versions of all these videos now over on
2:10
Spotify. So you can go find all the links
2:12
for those in the video description if you want.
2:16
I think that's everything I'm that it is a promotion thing.
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I'm so sorry. OK?
2:20
Our first story was posted in our flash relationships and
2:23
reads. My fiance proposed but the ring
2:26
came with strings attached so I gave it back.
2:29
Hello all, me 25 female and my fiance 28 male had been together
2:33
for a little more than three years.
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He proposed to me one month prior to this post.
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Things weren't always good but we tried to fix them and changed
2:40
a lot. For context, he has enormous
2:43
image issues and used to make fun of me for humour.
2:46
Humiliating for humour, humiliating my accent, clothes,
2:51
style, body weight etcetera when we were together, but in public
2:54
spaces everything was all right. I was at fault too 'cause I was
2:57
a little more immature due to age and I changed a lot of
3:00
things. I used to shout a lot in public
3:02
spaces, was always on my phone and made fun of him in public
3:05
for retaliation etcetera, which I changed.
3:09
I don't think I need to go any further before I say just break
3:11
up. Literally just break up.
3:13
He has his own issues he needs to work through before he's in a
3:16
relationship. If your partner is disrespecting
3:19
you, humiliating you, mocking you for your appearance, your
3:22
accent, you know the basic parts of who you are, that is not a
3:27
partner worth having. And to the woman here, the stuff
3:30
she was doing, shouting in public spaces, always on my
3:32
phone, yeah, they are immature things and things that you need
3:36
to work on before you're in a relationship.
3:38
I think maybe with some people it is possible to change while
3:41
you're in a relationship, but a lot of the time I think you need
3:43
to be on your own to really work on these things for it to be
3:45
effective. But I might be wrong, let's read
3:48
on. I told him a couple of times
3:50
that if he continued with the bad humour I would end up
3:52
detached from him and untalkable.
3:55
I guess that means like unwilling to talk to him.
3:57
I think. Why talk to someone that only
4:00
makes you feel like an idiot or makes fun of you.
4:02
Good point. He did change for a while and
4:05
stuff were heading normal. A month ago we put down our
4:10
accounts and plans for the future and he proposed and I
4:12
said yes and we began to gather money for a house.
4:16
I am rather principled but one thing only is something I have
4:19
been having trouble with and that's my weight.
4:22
I used to work out a lot. I was around 85 kilos when I met
4:24
him. Unfortunately, after a stressful
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12 hour shift days in a sketchy company for a year and an ACL
4:30
surgery in the second year mark that made me quit working out
4:36
thing, I gained a lot. I think English might not be
4:39
their first language so please excuse the bad grammar here, I'm
4:43
just reading it as it is. I weighed around 122 kilos of my
4:49
Max weight gain. He discussed concerns about my
4:51
health, although testifying no cholesterol or high sugar level.
4:54
After the doctor told me to lose weight now that I can in my age,
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everything changed. He started measuring my sugar
5:02
levels and snatched snacks from my hands and highlighted the
5:05
fact that they weren't healthy and it was bad of me and I was
5:09
losing my goal and he wanted to fix it by highlighting the bad
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stuff. There were nights where he peed
5:14
me off so much that I went to bed without food and he would
5:17
feel bad and he wouldn't eat too for it to be fair for both of
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us. Then the humiliation started
5:22
again. I couldn't talk about anything.
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I would try to talk about the news or something interesting
5:27
and he would tell me with irony, since when do you read the news?
5:30
Or I would doll from where my Crocs that have some faux gold
5:33
butterflies in them as charms and he would say I'm not taking
5:36
you out with this tacky butterfly Crocs take the
5:38
butterflies out or put something else and stuff like that.
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And when I would be sad about it, we would play out as fun.
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And if I can't mess with you and make fun of you, who will?
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That he did everything for me so people wouldn't make fun of me.
5:53
OK So what I think is being said here is that like he was mocking
5:57
her for her clothes, calling certain things she wore tacky.
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He was taking food away from her and making her feel so bad that
6:03
she stopped eating. Again, really dumb, unhealthy
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you don't like, I think it's one thing to be concerned for your
6:09
partner's health. Like if you're seeing them
6:11
actively do something that is harming them, like if you see
6:14
them smoke a lot of cigarettes, if you see them drink a lot of
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alcohol. If you see them eating a lot of
6:19
unhealthy foods, you might want to be like, hey, a little bit
6:22
concerned about your health. You may want to speak to a
6:23
doctor about this. You may want to do something
6:25
about it. But getting to the point where
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you're like, there's one thing being concerned for your partner
6:30
and another mocking them for it. Like that's never going to be
6:33
helpful or respectful. That's just a horrible thing to
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do. If you have concerns, bring them
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up respectfully. Bring them up kindly.
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Maybe offer to help them through stuff.
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Don't be snatching food away from them and making them feel
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so bad they skip entire meals because that's not healthy for
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anyone. And I'm sorry but if I can't
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mess with you and make fun of you, who will?
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No one, no one should be messing with you and making fun of you.
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There's having little personal in jokes and silly little like
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things to laugh at between you and like, if you like a little
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bit of ribbon between you as partners, that's fine.
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But you shouldn't have to have someone make fun of you.
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You shouldn't feel like someone has to make fun of her and put
7:12
her down. It's just the disrespect.
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Just break up already. Yesterday was my breaking point.
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My week was chaotic and I was really stressed and want to
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change so I went and braided my hair and added some faux white
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hair that I braided till my back and added some gold loops to it
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because I found it funky and cool and I wanted to see him.
7:32
That sounds really cool. That sounds like a great
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hairstyle. Love that.
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When I asked him if he likes it the first thing out of his mouth
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was I bet the gold loops were only you because they're so
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tacky. No way the stylist put them
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there by herself. I was so hurt I clamped my mouth
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shut and my eyes watered. Yeah, he needs to stop calling
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her tacky. That's just rude.
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He's tacky for saying it like again.
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Just break up, dump him, you deserve better.
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His face fell and tried to gently hold me and told me he
7:58
was making fun of me and it was just his humour.
8:01
Changed his sense of humour mate.
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He'd also gotten a haircut and asked me if I liked it.
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I told him it was hideous, petty of me, I know, and he went full
8:08
berserk again. Neither of you have the
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emotional maturity for a serious relationship.
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Just break up. I told him I only said what I
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said so he sees how he made me feel earlier and not start the
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whole argument. He claimed that I was really
8:22
detached from him the last year. I what I is there any wonder
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when you're mocking her constantly because she's going
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to be detached. I didn't talk much or continue
8:30
any meaningful conversation. And yeah, because when you do,
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he mocks you. Oh my God.
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And he feared if my depression was coming back.
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I was like this this after my ACL surgery and worked it with a
8:40
therapist. I told him to give me a couple
8:42
of days to figure out why because I had noticed it around
8:45
him. I went out with my best friends
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and told them about the situation and they told me I was
8:49
fine with them and they didn't see anything abnormal about me
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and that they didn't think my depression was back.
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So I thought about it and figured out with myself that it
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was because he was humiliating me.
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When I want to talk to him, I always thought first that he was
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going to make fun of me and I was just detached.
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I want to talk. Well, it's no wonder.
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Is it absolutely no wonder and I talked to him and told him about
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it, that I thought that it was with him only because he always
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makes fun of me and I can't be myself around him due to his
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image issues, that I talked about it with my girls and they
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said it was fine. He went berserk again and talked
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about mistrust because I had talked about what he told me
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with my friends that was detached from him and that the
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issue is with us to solve, not third people.
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I backed my girls and told him that's how girls work.
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We talk about stuff and we try to be better.
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He told me he would try to change since it was that and I
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agreed to try to talk again even with my fear of humiliation
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hanging because I wanted to work it with him.
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So this bit I think is a little complicated because I do kind of
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feel like, you know, it's up to couples to kind of work things
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out for themselves and figure things out for themselves.
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And I don't necessarily think another person should be getting
10:02
involved in another person's relationship where it isn't
10:04
their part. Like I think sometimes people
10:07
can overstep and intrude on other people's relationships.
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However, it can be really good to chat to your friends about
10:14
stuff and be like, hey, like, am I in the wrong here?
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Am I going crazy? Is how I'm feeling kind of
10:22
accurate? Is my perception of this
10:25
experience accurate? You know, it's my feeling.
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What's the word I'm looking for and my feelings here valid?
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Am I in the wrong? Do I need to apologise?
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What should I do? I think chatting to your friends
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about this stuff is normal. And one of the first things that
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abusive partners do is try and cut you off from your family and
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friends so you don't have that support network there.
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So whenever I see a partner being like mad at someone for
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talking to their friends about stuff like this, I'm like that's
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a massive red flag. He also said that for him to
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change, he wanted me to be more principled with myself and
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change too. That I still haven't lost the
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weight I wanted and that he didn't want to give me an
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engagement ring if I hadn't fixed that so I couldn't also be
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principled with our future children.
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He claims that an individual who is principled with himself can
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be a good example for kids. But he gave it to me anyway
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because he saw I wanted one and I was looking at them and he had
11:17
faith I would change and I didn't.
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So basically he's like, I'll only marry you if you lose
11:23
weight. I'll only treat you better if
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you lose weight. I'll only do this if you do this
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and this. If you do this and this.
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It's making a relationship transactional.
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That's not healthy for anyone involved.
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That's not going to be that. That's not a good way to start a
11:39
relationship, is it? Meanwhile, I'd start going back
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to the gym and managed to drop to 115, but in my own pace.
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I'm not the type of woman who likes to miss on stuff.
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I will eat junk food, etcetera when I want and then hit the gym
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to counter it. Seems pretty healthy to me.
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That's a good way to do things, Treat yourself when you want, be
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a little bit more disciplined with yourself when you want.
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I think. I think that's good, right?
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Is that, is that not healthy? I don't know.
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I'm not exactly like knowledgeable about physical
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health, stuff like that. Things I'd explained to him that
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my weight loss journey is mine and mine only, and I will do
12:12
whatever I want with it and I will lose the pound when I want.
12:16
Yeah, I think that's fair. I told him lately that I'd
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actually lost 2 kilos, kilos due to me sticking to my diet for us
12:22
so we can have children when we can and have our house.
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And he just called and he just coldly told me I was not ready
12:30
for children. Sounds like he's not ready for
12:33
children the way he treats. So if he's going to treat kids
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like this, he should not be a father.
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Just saying. The fury I felt was
12:40
insufferable. I feel like that's maybe the
12:42
wrong word, but OK, we understand what she means.
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I told him that I asked him three times before accepting the
12:46
ring if he's sure it's me, who he wants with my up and downs
12:50
and lows. And he'd explained that he
12:52
didn't mind my weight, he just wanted me healthy, that I was
12:55
curvy and he likes that since I am healthy everything is fine.
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He'd lost a family member due to obesity and it hunts him that I
13:03
will die randomly. He told me that.
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He said that in order for me to lose more for my own good in the
13:09
heat of the argument. He told me he didn't like my fat
13:11
hanging, I have a belly and that he had to try with good and bad
13:15
words to make me understand that and that I was in my own own
13:19
world. That if I want to die at 40 and
13:21
have kids crying, so be it. That if I fell I would want
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three people to lift me up. He watched a lot of that show
13:29
£600 life. God's sake, this man is just a
13:32
monster, isn't he? He's manipulative, he's rude.
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Oh no, we don't like him. I froze, calmly took the
13:40
engagement ring off, and gave it back.
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Good on her, That should be where the story ends.
13:44
Just broke up the argument stilled and his eyes went wide.
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I told him to see a goddamn therapist and that when I look
13:52
in the mirror I say I see a goddamn successful 25 year old.
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I have a good heart, great looks, and a stable job.
13:57
Good on her. I like this, Good on her that I
14:01
see a warrior that fought through depression and a bad
14:02
household and stick to my guns, and that I have great support
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system and don't need him. I can find other dudes if I want
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and I have plenty after me. I'm sick of him stealing my joy
14:13
because of his misery and that he can find someone thinner to
14:16
be with and more to his character to parade around since
14:19
his image is a bigger priority than our relationship and my
14:23
looks humiliate him. Good on her for saying this
14:26
again. Just break up, you'll be a lot
14:28
happier, love. He apologised to me and told me
14:31
to seek marriage counselling because he wants us to work and
14:33
he agreed to therapy and oh, this is, this is always a thing
14:36
that men like this do, isn't it? They're always like, oh, we just
14:39
need therapy, you need therapy, you should go to therapy.
14:42
We need therapy. But then they never actually do
14:44
it. They never actually go to
14:45
therapy. They try and get their partners
14:47
to change so that they don't have to.
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And so they just accepting the way they are and they say
14:51
they're going to do couples therapy, but they never actually
14:53
fall through. They never actually make any
14:54
changes. It's all just fluffy.
14:56
He's talking out of his bum. He has no intention of actually
14:58
doing any work does he In my experience?
15:02
Um, I told him to go. I told him to go full clown for
15:07
someone else and I wouldn't be exposing his idiotic waste to
15:11
third people. Good on her that I'm done
15:14
because he is a piece of poop that just proposed to me to lose
15:16
weight and wanted a better thinner version of me but not
15:19
me. He tried to give me my ring back
15:21
and told me it was mine. That he loved me and just didn't
15:24
want me to die and leave him behind because he would be
15:27
heartbroken. That he never wanted to steal my
15:29
spirit and he will let me wear what I want and he will change.
15:32
I dropped the ring on the car seat and told him that I felt
15:35
this ring was crap, that I felt this ring was a crap up ring and
15:40
a ring that attaches and not a love token.
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Oh sorry, a ring with attaches and not a love token.
15:46
That it lost its value and I don't want it anymore.
15:48
Close the door and left him behind.
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I haven't broken up yet because like why just break up?
15:54
Because I want to think and I talked about it with my family.
15:56
I've just been ignoring his messages and answered today that
15:58
I want some time to think to see if I want to continue this
16:01
relationship. Since then he has bombarded me
16:04
with calls and my family told me I overreacted.
16:06
They that they see he loves me and he wants a better future for
16:10
me and that he minded. If he minded my weight he would
16:14
just broke up with me and leave it at that.
16:17
He just doesn't have a good way of showing it and I should be
16:20
patient when he learns that I did bad and I shouldn't give the
16:24
ring back. Now I'm guilty and torn and I
16:27
don't know if I overreacted. I'm probably ruined by
16:29
engagement so I turn to you people for your opinion.
16:31
I think I should stick my guns and give him give him back to
16:35
his mum, but I will. That's telling.
16:38
But I'm torn about the way I acted.
16:40
That last line says a lot, doesn't it?
16:42
I should just give him back to his mum.
16:44
Clearly he doesn't want a partner.
16:46
He wants a woman who is going to be a maid, a mother and this
16:49
object that he can parade around, which is why she has to
16:52
look the way that he wants. It's unhealthy.
16:54
He seems awful. You can do better, just break
16:57
up. Our next story is boyfriend 28
17:00
male thinks I-26 female need to be more feminine and not listen
17:04
to vulgar music. We've been taking for two years
17:08
now and recent comments from my boyfriend have been concerning
17:10
me. For a bit of context, I'm a
17:12
medical resident working 36 hour shifts with a 12 hour off call
17:16
period and one day off in a week.
17:18
Boyfriend, software developer, was a nine to five job and
17:20
weekend off and flexible working hours.
17:23
I met my boyfriend before I stopped my residency and started
17:26
dating within a few months. I had a lot of free time before
17:29
I started my residency, so I would cook a lot of meals,
17:31
desserts at home, get ready, put on a nice outfit and visit my
17:35
boyfriend during his lunch hours.
17:37
It was my favourite activity of the day and he would wait for me
17:39
in the parking area with flowers every day.
17:43
Very cute. We did that for five to six
17:45
months and then I got pursued with my residency.
17:48
That's completely normal, right? You have like a honeymoon period
17:51
and then life happens and schedules change and behaviour
17:54
changes and if you're a couple that communicates well and is
18:00
good together, you'll figure that out, right?
18:02
Right, We had a lot of time between jobs to see each other
18:06
and decided to move in together after our first anniversary.
18:08
We've been very compatible. Roommates, dividing chores, He
18:12
mostly does all the housework, cooks food, brings me food
18:14
whenever he's free. Both of us are very happy
18:17
together, so it was very evident when his behaviour started
18:19
shifting, he started to be very particular about how my physique
18:23
is. Oh, why they always do this?
18:25
Why are men trying to police women's bodies so hard?
18:30
We used to work out together previously.
18:31
Now I don't. The types of clothes I wear, how
18:33
I style my hair, if I put on makeup or not, how I keep my
18:36
nails, etcetera. It's also become routine now for
18:39
him to keep commenting on my music choices.
18:41
I started listening to a lot of rap music when I'm getting ready
18:44
for work. He's been telling me the type of
18:46
music I've been listening to is making me less feminine.
18:50
Vulgarity doesn't suit a woman's tongue.
18:53
He's also been complaining that I don't put in efforts into
18:56
dressing up when we go out for dates anymore.
18:58
I really like dressing up as well, but I don't have the
19:00
energy for it. I don't blame her for not having
19:03
the energy when she's working that much.
19:05
I've asked him multiple times if he's joking, trying to annoy me,
19:08
or actually being serious about his comments and he always tells
19:10
me to be more ladylike while asking questions to a man.
19:15
That line alone just break up. Dump him, He knew what he's
19:19
getting himself into and we were doing great as a unit even after
19:21
I started my residency. I don't know what's changed in
19:24
the last few months that has influenced him to be like this.
19:26
Anyone who's gone through something similar or has any
19:28
ideas about this type of behaviour I really need some
19:30
advice. I'm already on edge most days
19:32
because I'm severely sleep deprived and I don't want to say
19:35
something stupid and end up ruining our relationship.
19:38
Sounds to me like 1. He's a misogynist.
19:41
And two, he's probably threatened by her success
19:45
because she's working so hard. She's doing really well.
19:48
She's focusing on herself and her career as well as him.
19:51
But sometimes things have to take a priority, right?
19:53
Things shift. And now he doesn't like it
19:57
because she's not his perfect little trophy wife anymore.
19:59
She's an independent woman with her own life and career and
20:02
successes. And I don't think he can cope
20:04
with that. I think he's intimidated by her
20:06
and that's not cool at all. And I get it.
20:09
It can be a little frustrating when like.
20:12
And your partner likes music that you don't, for example, you
20:15
know, like my ex is really into rap music and that's just not
20:18
really my kind of thing. And I I like indie and folk and
20:22
jazz and he like like rap and I don't really know, I'm not
20:29
really familiar with those genres of music, but he like, he
20:31
liked very talky music. And I personally didn't
20:34
necessarily find the stuff that he liked to listen to enjoyable
20:37
to listen to. So we had a compromise.
20:40
His music at his house, my music at my house, simple.
20:44
And like, often we try and find compromises of stuff that we
20:47
both liked. But ultimately, like, even if
20:50
you don't personally enjoy a little bit of music, that's an
20:52
easy thing to put up with for someone you love, isn't it?
20:55
You know, just being like, yeah, I don't personally, like, get
20:58
any happiness or enjoyment out of this, but I can see you do.
21:02
And that's why I'm going to fully support it.
21:04
I just, I just don't see why other people can't feel that
21:07
way. And to say that like, he doesn't
21:08
like it because it's vulgar, it's unfeminine.
21:10
I'm just like, you're a misogynist.
21:12
You young. You as a man don't get to decide
21:15
what is feminine or not feminine.
21:17
Only a woman does to this woman. Just break up.
21:20
You deserve better. You can find someone better.
21:23
Focus on your career for now. You got this.
21:25
You're still young. You've got plenty of time ahead
21:27
of you. Just you don't have to make
21:29
yourself smaller or change who you are for a man.
21:33
And like she says herself, like it wouldn't even necessarily be
21:36
like changing who she is because she likes dressing up, she likes
21:38
smaller stuff, but she just doesn't currently have the
21:40
energy. And that is absolutely OK.
21:43
Give it a few years. She's probably going to have the
21:45
energy again. But it should be on her terms
21:49
when she dresses up and why and how.
21:51
Not on a man's terms. You know, Can't go grab my food
21:55
and I'll be back to record more in a moment.
21:57
OK, and back got my little Mac and cheese.
21:59
I does anyone else? OK, this might just be an
22:02
awesome thing, but I go through these stages where I get like
22:05
really obsessed with one particular meal and I have it
22:09
like 5 * a week because it's like my safe food and I love it.
22:12
And at the minute it's Mac and cheese and I'm just obsessed.
22:15
And I have it like 5 * a week. Before this, it was a homemade
22:20
risotto, fantastic risotto. I make a damn good risotto, but
22:23
I just got obsessed with risotto.
22:25
And I was making it like 4 to 5 * a week.
22:27
Before that, it was like this bacon and veg pasta and like a
22:31
creamy smoky sauce. And again, I was having that
22:33
like 4 to five times a week. And I just go through these
22:37
stages where I get these like safe foods for months at a time,
22:39
months at a time. And I it's like the only thing I
22:42
crave and it's the only thing I want to eat.
22:44
And it just feels safe and comforting.
22:45
And yeah. Does anyone else do that?
22:48
Is that just me? I think it is like being an
22:51
autistic woman. I get like, there's not a lot of
22:54
foods that I can eat. So when I find one, I just tend
22:57
to, like, obsess over a little bit, Right.
22:59
While we wait for that to cool down, I have one more story that
23:01
I'm going to share with you. And then that's where we're
23:03
going to end the video today. I do have a lot more that I want
23:06
to record and talk about. So I might meet this into a
23:08
little series and post them over the next couple of weeks.
23:10
But our last story is I-24 female.
23:15
I'm tired of my boyfriend. 29, male.
23:19
My boyfriend's behaviours that are subtle disrespect.
23:22
I love with my boyfriend of almost four years and I'm
23:24
starting to feel really disrespected in the most basic
23:26
ways. One of the things that annoys me
23:30
is how rude and inconsiderate he is around shared spaces like the
23:33
sink. He'll literally push me out of
23:36
the way if I'm there 1st instead of just asking me to move and
23:39
when I bring it up he gets defensive or tries to turn it
23:41
into an argument. I don't think I even need to say
23:44
it at this point but just break up a man who physically pushes
23:47
you out of the way instead of just saying hey do you mind
23:50
shifting over please? Rude, damn rude.
23:52
I don't even do that to Cairo. If she's in the way, I say mind
23:55
your bum baby and she's learnt now what the phrase mind your
23:57
bum means and she's like oh a shuffle over and she's a great
24:00
little girl. If I can show that amount of
24:02
respect and politeness to a dog, he can do it to a woman who's
24:06
meant to be his partner. It's not hard.
24:09
His logic is that I should ask him for the space if I need it,
24:12
but he never does the same for me.
24:13
He just takes it. It's, oh, there you go.
24:16
See, this is what I was talking about in my video a while back
24:20
about the emotional labour, emotional labour that women are
24:22
supposed to do. He's like, if you want
24:24
something, just ask. But I'm just going to take it.
24:26
I'm not going to ask you for anything.
24:28
And he's putting all the pressure, all the
24:31
responsibility, all the emotional labour onto the woman
24:34
in his life. And she's the one who's
24:36
suffering because of it. And that's not OK.
24:38
It's such a small, ridiculous thing, but it shows how little
24:41
he respects me. I don't think it's small or
24:42
ridiculous at all. I think it's actually a huge
24:44
thing and it is an indicator that he has no respect to you.
24:47
And I think that's something that you need to pick up on.
24:49
It's the little behaviours towards people that add up and
24:52
show that, show you how they really feel about you.
24:55
You know, I feel like I'm living with someone who has no basic
24:57
manners or respect to me as an equal.
24:59
Ironically, he always talks about how he wants us to be
25:02
equals. Could I make him respect me?
25:05
Or it's the only way I can approach this situation by
25:07
enforcing boundaries. And why would someone treat
25:09
someone like this? It seems very immature.
25:12
It's not just immature, it's rude, it's disrespectful.
25:15
And honestly, it's rooted in misogyny.
25:16
Let's be real. And honestly, I don't think
25:20
they're setting boundaries here because you've tried asking and
25:22
he's ignored you. He's been like, oh, I knew but
25:25
these but these and he's making excuses.
25:27
If he doesn't respect you now, he never will.
25:30
Like I don't think respect for someone as a human being is
25:34
something you can necessarily learn in a situation like this.
25:37
Either he respects you or he doesn't and he doesn't, and
25:40
therefore you need to get the hell out of there and just break
25:43
up. Anyway, they are just my
25:45
thoughts on a few silly little Reddit stories about people who
25:48
just need to break up. I know they're asking for advice
25:50
here, but just break up. That is my advice.
25:54
If you'd like let me know your thoughts on any of these
25:56
stories. Please let me go down in the
25:58
comments. I know the first one was a
26:00
little bit long and if English wasn't their first language I'm
26:03
sorry. It was like a little poorly
26:05
ridden and hard to decipher at times, but I think we all
26:08
understood what she meant. So, you know, it's not not her
26:11
fault. But yeah, let me know your
26:14
thoughts. And I have quite a few more of
26:16
these to record as well. So I'll probably make this into
26:18
like a two-part series or something and I'll post the as
26:21
one in a week or so around making other videos.
26:25
But yeah, thank you for watching today.
26:27
Thank you so much for your time. I hope you enjoyed this.
26:30
I hope you don't mind me doing these more kind of like karma
26:33
relaxed, less in depth videos when I just need a bit of a
26:36
break. But yeah, thank you so much for
26:38
your time. I appreciate you and I'll see
26:40
you again soon. Bye.