Latest / MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose / Episode 125: A Jesus, Walmart, and Paper Plates Holiday Hospitality with Abby Kuykendall

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Episode 125: A Jesus, Walmart, and Paper Plates Holiday Hospitality with Abby Kuykendall · MESSmerized - Funny and faith based encouragement in marriage , family , Christian parenting , and finding purpose

0:05
[SPEAKER_02]: This is Cynthia Gannoff and you are listening to the mesmerized podcast.
0:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Hello guys, welcome, thankful that you are here.
0:17
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm thankful it's the week before Thanksgiving.
0:20
[SPEAKER_02]: How much fun is Thanksgiving?
0:22
[SPEAKER_02]: I just love it.
0:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And I really love it now that my kids are in college because everyone comes home and I don't know.
0:29
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just, it's a whole different experience when you have kids that are gone, that come back and you gather together as a family.
0:35
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I'm super, super excited about it.
0:38
[SPEAKER_02]: In fact, I'm overly excited because I miss my people so much
0:42
[SPEAKER_02]: For the first time ever, we did a family FaceTime call.
0:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And I texted them all and said, can everybody get on FaceTime at six?
0:50
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I'm like, oh, can you FaceTime with more than one person?
0:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And don't worry, my daughter's like, yes, Karen, you can FaceTime more than one person.
0:56
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, oh, my bad.
0:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Microsoft, they're like, I could set up a team's meeting.
1:00
[SPEAKER_02]: boy, the college kids really got on us for that.
1:02
[SPEAKER_02]: But it was so fun.
1:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And we went around just talked about something awesome, weird, unusual that's happened in the last week.
1:08
[SPEAKER_02]: And Brett let us know that the most weird, unusual thing was the fact we were on a family face time.
1:14
[SPEAKER_02]: But all that to say, get everybody home.
1:16
[SPEAKER_02]: It's going to be good.
1:17
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm glad.
1:18
[SPEAKER_02]: And I also know with Holidays it can be hard, and we all have places where there's loss and some anxiety and all the things.
1:24
[SPEAKER_02]: And so today, Abby Kirkendall is with us, and she has a book out called Let The Biscuits Burn, what a great title.
1:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's all about hospitality and...
1:35
[SPEAKER_02]: it's not just about us.
1:37
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not primarily about us.
1:39
[SPEAKER_02]: It's about the people that we invite in.
1:41
[SPEAKER_02]: And so we're going to talk at our motivation at having people over and why even if it's not our spiritual gift, even if we don't love entertaining, even if we're a terrible cook, we have an opportunity to show people Jesus by allowing them into our home.
1:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And she is going to come at it from a spiritual angle but also from a very practical angle and even a great tip on something to take to one of your holiday gatherings.
2:03
[SPEAKER_02]: And so yes, her book has the best title ever.
2:05
[SPEAKER_02]: It's called Let the Biscuits Burn.
2:07
[SPEAKER_02]: But she also has a cookbook called a living table that sounds very practical and awesome.
2:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I didn't even realize she wrote it.
2:13
[SPEAKER_02]: I have that cookbook.
2:14
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm so I'm going to grab that thing again and look through it.
2:18
[SPEAKER_02]: So you guys, I will link all this in podcast notes, but for now, let's kick it off with Abby Kirkandall, and we are gonna talk Thanksgiving and Christmas.
2:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Here we go.
2:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, Abby, welcome to mesmerized.
2:32
[SPEAKER_00]: How are you?
2:33
[SPEAKER_00]: So good, this is such, I mean, I think I feel like for all of your listeners, we just have like a major brainstorm session before this, just on all the things, Jesus and books and bookclubs and Bible studies, and man, I'm ready for this conversation.
2:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm so excited, and I think what we figured out, well, we're just gonna give you the behind the scenes everybody.
2:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, when you do audio books, when you tape your audio book, which I'm taping mine this week, and Abby's already done hers.
2:58
[SPEAKER_02]: When you tape audio books, you now put an extra content because AI can do audio books, and so they want authors to do extra stuff that AI can never do and that people enjoy and it'll be helpful and resourceful for them.
3:11
[SPEAKER_02]: So we were talking about that, and she was saying how her book that we're gonna talk about, say let the biscuits burn,
3:17
[SPEAKER_02]: A lot of people a lot of women are using it for like a book club slash Bible study in the spring, which I think is genius.
3:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And so her books going to be the spring one mind's going to be your summer book club everyone.
3:28
[SPEAKER_02]: That's how we can do this and she and I were talking about how discussion guides and all those things so.
3:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Super fun.
3:33
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm so glad you're here.
3:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Tell everybody about your life.
3:36
[SPEAKER_02]: What's going on?
3:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so I have an 18-month-old 19-month-old, like us now, and I've been married for two years, so like a little over two years.
3:45
[SPEAKER_00]: So we got married in March of 23, got pregnant in July, and then,
3:49
[SPEAKER_00]: It's been a whirlwind since then, so we, yeah, we got Mary, I got Mary later in life.
3:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we just decided to get started fast.
3:59
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm pregnant again.
4:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm doing January's the like very soon as we are reporting this.
4:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And so yeah, it's just been, it has been a whirlwind.
4:12
[SPEAKER_00]: But you know what, I love that I wrote, let the biscuits burn.
4:16
[SPEAKER_00]: kind of postpartum with John Maverick, my first because I experienced God through hospitality and my hospitality journey really started in my singles.
4:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And really like leveraging my single time, the flexibility and the spontaneity that I had during that stage of my life to draw closer to God and build this kind of like muscle of hospitality and and so then getting married and then having a baby so quickly.
4:48
[SPEAKER_00]: you don't have a lot of time to like figure out hospitality with a husband and then figure out hospitality with a child and so while I was writing the book I actually got to experience hospitality like the gift of receiving hospitality and that was it was a nice little twist and nice little godwink but yeah I live in northwest Arkansas and I'm really close to my family we are getting ready as we're recording this we're getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving and we will have
5:18
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't want goodness.
5:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I love that.
5:20
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is like, I mean, we're 40 strong on a Tuesday.
5:24
[SPEAKER_00]: So we have like a few extra for Thanksgiving, but it is so fun.
5:28
[SPEAKER_00]: We have like spreadsheets of who's bringing food, who's coming?
5:31
[SPEAKER_00]: How many kids?
5:32
[SPEAKER_00]: What's the table setting going to?
5:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, it's just that not table setting, but like who's sitting where?
5:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm just skating chart type thing and it's just, you know, and it's so fun.
5:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And some of the meals will be pizza and some of the meals will be chicken spaghetti and we'll have the turkey.
5:47
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's it's a really fun time.
5:49
[SPEAKER_00]: So really close to my family and
5:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, so fun.
5:52
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I, yeah, and you know what, where you guys, just as another behind the scenes, we're taping this and we're releasing it the same week, which almost I can't think in my podcasting life when that's happened, but we had, we had a misfire on an earlier date.
6:05
[SPEAKER_02]: And so here we are, and I really want this to come out Thanksgiving because I think,
6:09
[SPEAKER_02]: We all need the reminders going to Thanksgiving and Christmas about hospitality and so Abby and I just met But I'm gonna tell you this Abby scene is about me and most people probably do but I love to host I love people the more people in my house the better and I grew up with a hosting mom who always had people in
6:26
[SPEAKER_02]: and just did it beautifully.
6:28
[SPEAKER_02]: More in a China, beautiful way.
6:30
[SPEAKER_02]: I mean, yes, she could do casual too, but it's just in a China way.
6:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm more of like a China girl kind of thing.
6:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Like let's go ahead and just bring out the paper plates.
6:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't care.
6:39
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I always say, I think that's one of the greatest blessings.
6:44
[SPEAKER_02]: My mom gave me because my friends say all the time that one of my friends recently said this.
6:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And it was such a sweet thing to say that I'm a, how did she say it?
6:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Like someone that creates space for other people to come and to be themselves and to make memories.
7:00
[SPEAKER_02]: And I love that.
7:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And so not because, and to the point of your book and what you're about, not because I just do it flawlessly.
7:07
[SPEAKER_02]: And I really, I'm gonna be honest, I don't love to cook.
7:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I can gather food real well, but I don't love to cook.
7:12
[SPEAKER_02]: But I love to have people in and I notice less and less people do that because I think people are intimidated by it people feel like it has to look a certain way all those things and so when your book came across I saw a pitch for it let the biscuits burn and talking about hospitality.
7:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like oh I'm so in on this so for all of you that it doesn't come naturally for I will just I will say I'm
7:37
[SPEAKER_02]: admittedly it comes more natural for me and obviously Abby then some this is still a word for all of us especially going in the holidays so let's start with this is hospitality or spiritual gift Abby it is not actually so like I love it you just teed that out because little listeners are going to get such a treat today to hear both sides of this picture
7:57
[SPEAKER_00]: But, you know, when I take the spiritual gift assessment test online, it is probably like 8 or 9 out of 15.
8:06
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's like about halfway down the list for me, teaching and administration and all of that is really like the top of the top for me.
8:25
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not my spiritual gift, so like it's more of a spiritual discipline for me and I talk about that in the book of like what is a spiritual discipline and how why is it important?
8:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And so for those that might be more introverted that might not have the conversation skills that might not feel comfortable or competent maybe in the kitchen or
8:47
[SPEAKER_00]: extending an invitation to somebody.
8:49
[SPEAKER_00]: It is definitely a muscle that we can build and over the last decade and a half, I've been building it.
8:56
[SPEAKER_00]: And so now God said, hey, I want you to teach other people how how you did it and how how we
9:03
[SPEAKER_00]: how we partnered and how hospitality has blessed you.
9:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And so it has definitely been a blessing, but it's one of those things that like you have to commit to learning.
9:14
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to commit, like if you want to go run a marathon or if you want to play an instrument you don't just start with like rock mononoff, like you start with like okay, what are the white keys, what are the black keys, let's dive in and start slow and you have to practice.
9:29
[SPEAKER_00]: a lot.
9:31
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, it's not even once a week thing.
9:32
[SPEAKER_00]: It's kind of like an everyday thing.
9:34
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're like me, and I was like so bad at the piano.
9:36
[SPEAKER_00]: But anyway, I just think that like, you know, you got to start small.
9:41
[SPEAKER_00]: You got to give yourself grace, but over time, hospitality can become second nature, because scripture tells us to practice it, and God does not ask us to do anything that he is not willing and ready to help us accomplish.
9:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and I love that there let's let's talk at the spiritual component first like is I mean you kind of just hit it, but is there a spiritual component it is one of the spiritual gifts if you haven't taken a spiritual gift assessment by the way everybody like it is one of them I do think I have it it's not my strongest my strongest is teaching
10:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, and uh, and some of those things, but I do think it's something that comes naturally to me.
10:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I think the Lord gifted me with it and I'm grateful for that, but I also think I've exercised a lot because my mom did it so much.
10:22
[SPEAKER_02]: But is there, like talk to us a little bit of just about that spiritual component?
10:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Do we see that directly that there's examples of this hospitality?
10:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, for sure.
10:30
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, and I, I'd point a straight to the gospel of Luke.
10:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, any time we want to know how to live our life.
10:36
[SPEAKER_00]: We need to go look at Jesus's life and just emulate it, right?
10:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Those were Paul's words.
10:41
[SPEAKER_00]: And, and so you see in the gospel of Luke, it's literally a ministry around food and he
10:47
[SPEAKER_00]: borrowed food.
10:48
[SPEAKER_00]: He went to people's houses.
10:50
[SPEAKER_00]: He invited himself in.
10:51
[SPEAKER_00]: He did not, you know, he does not ask us to have it all together.
10:55
[SPEAKER_00]: He does not ask us to have a perfectly set table.
10:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Jesus didn't have a table.
10:59
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, he invited himself to Zacchaeus's house.
11:02
[SPEAKER_00]: He Peter's mother-in-law.
11:05
[SPEAKER_00]: He was like, hey, we're hungry.
11:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you get well so that you can beat us?
11:08
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, in a matter of speaking,
11:17
[SPEAKER_00]: that God instructs me and to make, it's actually an exodus and it is a table.
11:23
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a table, it comes right after the Ark of the Covenant, they're preparing kind of like what the Tabernacle is going to look like and God says, okay, Moses and Bezeliel, this is how we're going to make a table, I need you to build it.
11:35
[SPEAKER_00]: On top of that table, I need you to always put a piece of bread, they called it the show bread.
11:40
[SPEAKER_00]: That was because that piece of bread symbolized the providence and how God
11:46
[SPEAKER_00]: brought the Israelites out of Egypt and how every time you were to be in that space, every time you were to sit at that table, that piece of bread was God.
11:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Saying, hey, I will always be here.
11:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I will always take care of you.
11:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Fast forward.
12:00
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, you see the table come up throughout scripture.
12:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Fast forward to when Jesus walked the earth and he says, I'm the bread of life.
12:06
[SPEAKER_00]: He leaves us with the Holy Spirit.
12:08
[SPEAKER_00]: No longer do we have to have a piece of show bread on
12:12
[SPEAKER_00]: The table reminding us that God has provided and all that God has done for us.
12:18
[SPEAKER_00]: He says, no, no, no, no, the Holy Spirit will always be here.
12:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I am the bread of life.
12:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm replacing that physical piece of bread.
12:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And now you have the spirit that's always with you.
12:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I think about that, you know, going into Revelation 19 where it talks about how like, God has invited us in, he is a hospitable God.
12:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you, you know, look at the gospel, it's all about the invitation.
12:40
[SPEAKER_00]: It's all about welcoming us into his family.
12:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And in Revelation 19, he says, I have a table, I have a seat with your name on it, and it is a banquet, and it's a feast, and it's amazing, it's for you.
12:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And, you know, when I sit back and I think about, you know, all the names of God, all the ways that we worship God, do we worship His hospitality?
13:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Do we sit with the way that God has welcomed us in, invited us into His family?
13:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And when Paul writes, when the author of Hebrew writes, when they're talking about the importance of practicing hospitality, he doesn't say, you know what, if you were born with the gift, I need you to practice it.
13:23
[SPEAKER_00]: You wouldn't say if you have a 12-seat table, if you are the best chef, if you are Martha Stewart, practice hospitality, he said we all need to practice it.
13:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that when we sit with that, when we sit with the symbolism of the table, when we sit with Jesus as ministry, when we sit with the words of Paul, when we sit with how God has invited us into his family and the gospel through salvation, I think we can't help but want to emulate that heart and invite others in.
13:53
[SPEAKER_02]: That's so good.
13:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, and so that's kind of that's the under the underpinning of this guy And for anyway, so it sounds like it's not really my thing that I've just thought I'd tune in like I think it's neat It's all of our things.
14:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's gonna look different for a lot of us and I would love and I want to get practical and we're going to just second and talk Thanksgiving slash Christmas going to that And just some practical tips and tricks that you have up your sleeve But I I think one thing stands out to me is someone when I go to people's homes or
14:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I watch this, I don't want this to be the case in my house, but when it comes to a hospital and hosting people, I think checking your motivation matters, and as your motivation is it about you or is it about them?
14:33
[SPEAKER_02]: And I've done both.
14:35
[SPEAKER_02]: It's been about me before if I'm very honest where I've wanted my house to look perfect and
14:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Especially my kids were little like everyone like have your act together in the house looks good and we have the right food and all like and I realize like well that's not like one it's a disservice to my kids because I'm like everybody pick up everybody blow you know and I like a net job before we get there and then I was crying like got older and my kids got older I'm like you know what this is really actually not about me it's about the people that I want to have in and so sometimes when I go to people's houses
15:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I will notice that it's like I'm being in a show home and you know, they want to I have to tour the home Which is nothing wrong if you want me to tour your home, but we tour the home and then everything It's so curated that it's not actually doesn't feel like a blessing I feel burdened when I leave more than I feel blessed because then I'm like gosh, I don't I don't do it that way My house doesn't look like you know, and so I think sometimes checking the motivation is super helpful going into this
15:27
[SPEAKER_02]: And if your motivation is really to bless people and bring people in and honor the Lord in that, I think that naturally allows you to lower the bar on the perfection standard and raise the bar on honoring God standard and honoring people well.
15:43
[SPEAKER_02]: So is that been your experience?
15:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, no for sure.
15:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I tell the story and if anyone has heard me speak or heard another podcast, they probably heard the story.
15:52
[SPEAKER_00]: So bear with me.
15:53
[SPEAKER_00]: But when dishes, what I've found is that when dishes are in the sink or when my house is a mess, nobody ever asks for a coaster.
16:01
[SPEAKER_00]: They take, they don't take their shoes off.
16:03
[SPEAKER_00]: They just kind of like, I mean, this is their home.
16:07
[SPEAKER_00]: and when I have cleaned my house and like I have a couple of non-negotiables you talk about practicality I have three non-negotiables when you know like I leave the house and it is that I want the dishes to be in the dishwasher they don't have to be clean but just like I don't want a we can fill a sink at our house
16:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I want the pillows, I love pillows.
16:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I think they're so pretty and they just make me so happy but they find their way to the floor.
16:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I want them on the couch and then all of our bathrooms need to have toilet paper fully stocked.
16:43
[SPEAKER_00]: It drives me crazy when I go into the bathroom and it's like who left full of toilet paper here.
16:50
[SPEAKER_00]: You know so so anyway those are my non-negotiables.
16:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I talk about that like if you are someone that like
16:57
[SPEAKER_00]: has to have a clean house or feels intimidated by just inviting someone into the mess.
17:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Set up some non-negotiables.
17:05
[SPEAKER_00]: These are the things that I just need to make sure always checked off.
17:08
[SPEAKER_00]: You need two or three.
17:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't make the list exhaustive.
17:11
[SPEAKER_00]: But when my house is super clean, when I have dusted the baseboards or, you know, like, and it looks like a show home, everybody always asks for a coaster.
17:21
[SPEAKER_00]: They ask me if they need to take their shoes off at the door and it's like, you were here last week and you're,
17:27
[SPEAKER_00]: glass went right there on that same coffee table.
17:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Like we do not need a coaster.
17:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And so I think that it's like this cultural mentality that has been impressed upon us, that we've been conditioned to feel a certain way in certain environments, or act or behave a certain way in certain environments.
17:48
[SPEAKER_00]: And that is exactly the antithesis of what biblical hospitality is.
17:54
[SPEAKER_00]: entertaining is exactly what you said the motivation of self.
17:58
[SPEAKER_00]: It is what I want to make.
17:59
[SPEAKER_00]: It's what how I want to decorate it is who I want to invite.
18:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Biblical hospitality flips out on its head and said you know what if you're you know I the Holy Spirit I'm going to impress upon you who to invite over and those people are not going to be your friends and your family.
18:15
[SPEAKER_00]: They are going to be strangers that were stranger in the Greek language that's used in
18:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, in the new testament is, um, Xenopelia, the love of Stranger, that Stranger is someone that doesn't look, think, act or vote like you.
18:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So it would have been the Zacchaeus to the Jesus.
18:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Not some, you know, how about you're going to pick up off the street?
18:37
[SPEAKER_00]: That, that is not, you know, that's how our culture has labeled a Stranger.
18:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Like Stranger danger, but Stranger could just be somebody in your, like, outer circle.
18:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Somebody that you brush shoulders with.
18:48
[SPEAKER_00]: that might not know Jesus, or might not have like a personal relationship with them, or might, you know, sit on a different side of the aisle than you, and those are the people that God wants to us to invite in, and that bill-cost mentality sits on three, hinges on three components, the authenticity that we can provide, whether that's in your home, that's in the conversation you have, the flexibility to allow the Holy Spirit to,
19:15
[SPEAKER_00]: add and flow what you're going to make who you're going to invite and then the intentionality behind getting to know someone and making them feel loved and known and seen.
19:26
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you can and it's hard, like you said, like you might go in with the motivation of I want to be hospitable, but then we are all sinners, we are all, you know, you know, palpable people and so
19:39
[SPEAKER_00]: It easily turns to entertaining.
19:41
[SPEAKER_00]: It easily turns if we don't capture our mind, if we don't say, OK, I'm going to take these thoughts captive.
19:49
[SPEAKER_00]: This is not about me.
19:51
[SPEAKER_00]: This is about making that person or those people, feel loved and known and seen.
19:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, yeah.
19:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I remember like Thanksgiving, especially my house growing out.
20:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Like there would be like an army vet sitting at the table I'd never met.
20:04
[SPEAKER_02]: There would be an older man whose wife had passed away in the last year.
20:07
[SPEAKER_02]: And we would kind of tease my mom later.
20:09
[SPEAKER_02]: We're like, who the heck was that?
20:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, and then we'd be like, if we're gonna have place settings, I'd like to pick my spot, please, like, we would add a tease.
20:17
[SPEAKER_02]: But it was impacted me because she really did, as she met, it wasn't literally strange or it was on the street.
20:22
[SPEAKER_02]: But people that had a need or a place to be, like, she wanted them to know, you have a seat at our table, always.
20:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And I want us to be encouraged in that.
20:31
[SPEAKER_02]: And I would say like, let's set a mini goal between maybe Thanksgiving Christmas like to have some sort of little gathering.
20:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's not even call it a party or a shindig.
20:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Like let's barely call it a gathering.
20:43
[SPEAKER_02]: But,
20:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And I try to impress us on my kids like on their birthday parties at other times when they were growing up.
20:48
[SPEAKER_02]: I would always say, I want you, you know, you can invite 10 people, seven of your besties.
20:53
[SPEAKER_02]: That's great.
20:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And we're three people that need to be invited.
20:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't think they'll be invited and wouldn't have been included if we hadn't been intentional.
20:59
[SPEAKER_02]: And teaching them to exercise that there are kids that need to be invited to that.
21:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm thinking, let's consider this going into the holidays.
21:07
[SPEAKER_02]: There's people that would really benefit from being invited to something.
21:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe they don't have a lot to go to.
21:12
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe they don't have a lot to go to that is a believer doing this.
21:16
[SPEAKER_02]: That's interesting.
21:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, let's think about like stretching that a little bit and having some people in our home, even if we're not going to have the huge whatever party.
21:24
[SPEAKER_02]: But just having chili on Tuesday night and inviting so and so that you think you know what, that would be a gift to them.
21:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Or that would be a blessing to their kids to have the opportunity to be with my kids.
21:35
[SPEAKER_02]: those kind of things.
21:36
[SPEAKER_02]: If we were going to do some little gathering, what would be some tips you would give us?
21:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what do we need to be thinking about if we're going to do that?
21:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
21:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I, you know, my first book, The Living Table is a start from store-bought cookbook.
21:47
[SPEAKER_00]: So it is a kind of semi-homade.
21:50
[SPEAKER_00]: And I would say lean into your grocery stores.
21:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Lean into the things that people are doing for you and don't try to do it all yourself because you'll wear yourself out and by the time people walk through the front door, you're exhausted because you've spent X amount of hours in the kitchen.
22:08
[SPEAKER_00]: slaving away.
22:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I would also say, like, don't make it too big or too, like, over the top.
22:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you said, Chinette, in the back of the book, there's a hosting handbook type thing.
22:22
[SPEAKER_00]: And I talk about, like, my favorite places to go and find, like, if you do want to judge up your or make a little bit more fancy, your Chinette paper plates.
22:32
[SPEAKER_00]: There are companies out there that will, that will do a fancier paper plate.
22:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Everything is disposable, but it, you know, is a little bit fancier than, you know, paper, but it's not all the way to your China.
22:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I would also be really thoughtful about the conversations you're going to have.
22:48
[SPEAKER_00]: That is probably, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I
22:55
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm an extrovert, but conversation scares the daylights out of me, and maybe it's a mind-over-matter type thing, but I always love to have conversation cards around, but I also, what I've learned is to always prepare in advance.
23:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Remind me what their names are, remind me what their kids names are, what are their kids doing?
23:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe a deep dive on their Instagram or their Facebook, like just to remind myself, give myself some things to talk about with people because that can be intimidating.
23:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, I love how you mentioned like who can you invite over during the holidays because the holidays can be so triggering and anxiety ridden for so many people who don't have families or have lost someone this year or in the last few years.
23:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you have some people that have experienced a divorce, and this is their first season without that family unit.
23:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I know in where I live in Arkansas, I'm in a college town.
23:53
[SPEAKER_00]: My aunt is also in a college town.
23:55
[SPEAKER_00]: She lives in a town that has three colleges, and there are a lot of
24:02
[SPEAKER_00]: strangers if you will from different, you know, like kind of foreign exchange students.
24:07
[SPEAKER_00]: And so they are people that like don't know American culture or tradition, they aren't stuck here for lack of a better term over the holidays, they don't get to return to wherever they go.
24:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And they don't have anyone to celebrate with, but also maybe they don't know Jesus.
24:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And so though the people like reach out if you're in a college town, there are international student departments and they would love to connect you with students that have nowhere to go for the holidays or don't have anything to do.
24:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Even if it's like December 10th and you're having a Christmas party, reach out to those departments and invite them in.
24:43
[SPEAKER_00]: That is an easy way.
24:44
[SPEAKER_00]: to love on an impressionable student, an impressionable young person that might not know Jesus and might not have a family to celebrate with this season.
24:55
[SPEAKER_02]: That's those are all so good.
24:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Those are so good.
24:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I was just as you're saying that I think if someone that comes to mind is recently divorced that has a man and his son.
25:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, okay, like we can have them over with our family for something.
25:07
[SPEAKER_02]: And then they have to be Christmas morning of the song.
25:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, let me back up on a couple things and ask practical questions.
25:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Conversation cards.
25:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you like just like ask chat to be seen you write them out or do you buy some or like what or what or and there's some and other some ideas in your book.
25:22
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure like yeah there are I put in there's like a shopping list of things you must have As like if you are and I wrote the book like for me 15 years ago.
25:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So like if I'm getting into this and I don't know what to cook.
25:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what to say.
25:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what to do or how to decorate or anything like
25:43
[SPEAKER_00]: What do I need to know and what do I need to have to make it easy?
25:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Because after 15 years, I've gotten married, I've gotten the China, I have everything.
25:52
[SPEAKER_00]: But 15 years ago, I did not.
25:54
[SPEAKER_00]: So, conversation cards.
25:56
[SPEAKER_00]: They are these little, you can get them on Amazon or Walmart or chart wherever.
25:59
[SPEAKER_00]: They're called Table Talk.
26:01
[SPEAKER_00]: and they are conversation cards and you can find different varieties.
26:06
[SPEAKER_00]: So like, you know, table top for faith, table top for couples, table top for your marriage, you know, all sorts of things.
26:13
[SPEAKER_00]: They're also like other, you know, kind of if you want to get more spiritual, my sister gave me some last year called Faithful Friends and they are color-coded kind of like trivia cards.
26:25
[SPEAKER_00]: also trivia cards are so fun.
26:29
[SPEAKER_00]: We my community group is at my church like we try to rotate community groups pretty frequently so that we're always learning to like connect and be with different people and we have some trivia cards that are called things I wish I didn't know.
26:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Those trivia questions, we don't like play the game, we just read the cards, and talk about starting some conversation.
26:54
[SPEAKER_00]: You will learn a lot about someone when you talk about how dirty the menus are at all of garden.
27:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Or, you know, like, whatever is, you know, so it is.
27:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I love that.
27:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
27:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it's a really fun.
27:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Also, when it comes to, like, I was talking about like the fancy paper plates, Mary Mary,
27:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, right now they're like all over Facebook.
27:14
[SPEAKER_00]: So if you're listening to this on your phone, then you're probably going to get them or dead next week.
27:19
[SPEAKER_02]: You're going to have them all.
27:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
27:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
27:21
[SPEAKER_02]: That's helpful.
27:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And then I know we all have different grocery stores, but what does your lean on go to?
27:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, I mean,
27:28
[SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't have free trade or jose, but whatever your place is that you love like what is like okay, this is one where you can lean in on the grocer and throw some pretty like herbs on top and people think not because we're not not that we're trying to make people think we did something we didn't know it was so hard and it looks like you tried more than if I throw out some pretzels.
27:47
[SPEAKER_02]: So what was what's your lean into?
27:49
[SPEAKER_00]: So over on my Instagram at abbey dot curtain doll and
27:58
[SPEAKER_00]: So I can make Walmart girl.
28:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I live in Northwest Arkansas.
28:02
[SPEAKER_00]: So we do have some pretty nice Walmart's, but we do not have like, I can always find what I am getting at a Walmart in Dallas or a Walmart in Litter, you know, like where at Memphis, wherever I'm going, I can always find it in people say we have bougie Walmart's.
28:20
[SPEAKER_00]: not in our our Walmart's in northwest Arkansas.
28:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
28:23
[SPEAKER_00]: So, but I will say the delies really good lean into the frozen section.
28:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean, in the cookbook, I do like a tequito board and they're all just like frozen tequitos and they're all boxed from Walmart.
28:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, I love the fresh herbs at Walmart.
28:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I think they do a really good job with their market side dips.
28:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, that's an easy thing to judge up.
28:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, but basically like, they have some really good staples that you can just do.
28:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Anything with that are pretty inexpensive, you know, like the crescent, you know, start with crescent roles.
28:55
[SPEAKER_00]: That's something that I always have in my fridge because you can just do so much with it.
28:59
[SPEAKER_00]: You can make it sweet.
29:00
[SPEAKER_00]: You can make it savory.
29:01
[SPEAKER_00]: But I also love their desserts.
29:04
[SPEAKER_00]: I think they have a great like they call sweet goods.
29:07
[SPEAKER_00]: So.
29:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, you know, like you're a little bit of some print cookies and stuff like that.
29:11
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, and this is an old department is fantastic.
29:13
[SPEAKER_00]: So, uh, that's my shout out for Walmart.
29:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Love Trader Joe's as well.
29:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I think publics does a great job too.
29:19
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're in the South East and have, um, publics in, uh, your vicinity.
29:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, and then is it Mark and Spencer?
29:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that what it's called?
29:29
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:30
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:30
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:30
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:30
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:30
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:31
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:31
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:31
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:32
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:32
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:32
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:32
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:32
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:33
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:33
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:33
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:33
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:34
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:35
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:35
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:36
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:36
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:36
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:36
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:37
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:37
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:37
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:37
[SPEAKER_00]: M&M.
29:37
[SPEAKER_00]: My heart, if I can have an H.E.B.
29:40
[SPEAKER_00]: or a Central Market in North of the Sargansaw, I'd be.
29:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe set.
29:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'd be living the highlight.
29:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Yep, yep, yep, it's nice, it is.
29:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you know what I'd figured out?
29:50
[SPEAKER_02]: This is the random tidbit of the show, everybody, and Abby, maybe like, that's horrible.
29:53
[SPEAKER_02]: I can't believe you do that.
29:54
[SPEAKER_02]: But I'd figured out, you know what, everybody universally likes, that I'm not saying this is like what I serve serve, but just to have around to bite, everybody likes pigs and a blanket, and I know that sounds like, how do you think you are
30:06
[SPEAKER_02]: At you get those tiny little sausage things and you get you a crescent roll and cut it up and you look on the YouTube's people because they'll show you how to make it pretty I used to make it ugly and they showed me how to make it pretty and you do that and throw some chick filet sauces with it that you might have picked up.
30:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And people think you're a hero.
30:24
[SPEAKER_02]: Like they carry me around my house on their shoulders.
30:26
[SPEAKER_02]: They call me blessed.
30:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I'm just throwing that out.
30:30
[SPEAKER_00]: If you need to do a little bit.
30:31
[SPEAKER_00]: OK, I will say another thing that I have noticed people will always eat are pizza rolls.
30:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I don't do that in the show.
30:39
[SPEAKER_00]: We'll pop a bowl.
30:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I have this like platter.
30:41
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like a melamine platter.
30:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I'd probably go to the target of melamine, yeah.
30:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And I can fit like the big bag of like 180 pizza rolls.
30:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I never have leftovers.
30:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, well, never, never.
30:53
[SPEAKER_00]: So like, you know, you have to have a couple of sheet pants to cook all of them at once.
30:58
[SPEAKER_00]: They don't all fit in the air fryer.
31:00
[SPEAKER_00]: But,
31:01
[SPEAKER_00]: They're I mean because you know, it's something like pigs in a blanket.
31:05
[SPEAKER_00]: They are just so poppable.
31:06
[SPEAKER_02]: They're yeah, they're poppable totally.
31:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, let's talk about I love those.
31:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Those are fun ideas and they're easy and they're nobody's going to ask for a coaster if you throw out a picking a blanket everyone, okay?
31:18
[SPEAKER_02]: And so it gets the coaster test nothing's wrong with a coaster by the way you guys, but you know what we're saying.
31:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, real quick, tell me this.
31:25
[SPEAKER_02]: Whereas, as we're releasing, we're going to Thanksgiving.
31:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Give us one decorating tip, give us one hosting tip, and one food tip.
31:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Ooh, okay.
31:37
[SPEAKER_00]: One decorating tip I have is that when you're decorating maybe you're like entry, or you're decorating your, like I have an island that's kind of like in my entry that kind of connects the entry and the kitchen.
31:50
[SPEAKER_00]: I always set up, now I don't always have it full of water or cups or anything, but I always have a place that is designated for drinks and it is decorated.
32:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So it might like right now it's got some pumpkins around it, it's got some little cute napkins, at Christmas it'll have a little piece of garland and then like a little bitty Christmas tree that has some like ornaments from like my baby.
32:15
[SPEAKER_00]: years.
32:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that is always there.
32:19
[SPEAKER_00]: That blends with my hosting tip of like always when somebody walks in your house, hey can I get you something to drink?
32:25
[SPEAKER_00]: That is something I always forget to ask.
32:28
[SPEAKER_00]: And so that's when I started creating this like moment on my counter of like this space is sacred drinking space.
32:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Like
32:36
[SPEAKER_00]: This is where, sweet tea goes, this is where the coffee goes, this is where apple cider go, like this is where that moment is, and I never, since I've created that moment per se on my counter, I never forget to ask somebody if they need somebody to drink, because it's always out reminding me.
32:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, and then I guess this is maybe another one that hits all three.
32:59
[SPEAKER_00]: So I have this really long bread breadboard cutting board.
33:05
[SPEAKER_00]: It's probably like four feet and I put it up.
33:09
[SPEAKER_00]: This is so DIY of me, but I put it up on candles because I don't have, I don't have risers But I put it up on candles and so it kind of sits above like eight inches above everybody's
33:23
[SPEAKER_00]: plate and I put our food on that.
33:27
[SPEAKER_00]: So the buffet is literally in the middle of the table and we get to family style and hey Can you pass me the green beans?
33:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, can you know, and we get to eat there instead of having Making people feel like they have to get up
33:41
[SPEAKER_00]: and leave the conversation to go back for seconds or if they want a little bit more of something, it's right there.
33:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And I love that because it keeps us connected, it keeps the food there, it integrates your decor, and it also takes away the need for you to feel like you have to have something like with height in your middle of your table.
34:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And because that always impedes your vision.
34:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And I do that for, I started doing that maybe a couple of years ago for Easter.
34:08
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have carried that through all the holidays because it just was such a game changer when it came to conversation at the table.
34:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Ooh, I like that, I like that a lot.
34:17
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, let's talk Christmas scent because we're all, I mean, I love Thanksgiving.
34:20
[SPEAKER_02]: I love Thanksgiving, but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna put that tree up before Thanksgiving.
34:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I know.
34:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I know.
34:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm gonna put that Christmas tree up everybody.
34:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Let's talk about this.
34:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Give us, I'm gonna, it's the same kind of thing.
34:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Give us a decorating tip or decorating something you love that you do at Christmas.
34:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, let's start there, so you don't have to think about it.
34:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, yeah.
34:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me think, decorating tip at Christmas.
34:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
34:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I love, I'm such a bow girl.
34:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I love putting bows like everywhere I can think of.
34:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I, you know, do ribbon bows on my wreaths.
34:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I do ribbon bows on my Christmas trees.
34:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I do ribbon bows on my candles on the table.
34:58
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that candles make anything feel a little bit more.
35:02
[SPEAKER_00]: That lamp.
35:03
[SPEAKER_02]: You can get a candle or a lamp.
35:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I'm not lighting.
35:07
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and I saw somebody like they were clipping bows to the top of their lamps on Instagram this year and I was like, yeah, another place for me to put a bow.
35:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, I'll tell you what Abby, I've been shut down like if I had small children like you I like CPS would come I've been shut down on any responsibilities with Reels a people decorating for Christmas I don't even like Reels.
35:29
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't even really any men is ran social media because I don't I'm so bad at it.
35:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, but also on people are hanging bells
35:35
[SPEAKER_02]: off the side of there those long hobby lobby looking bells off the side of their mantle and they're putting red berry picks and stuff and I'm gone I mean I can't I mean I'm sorry honey make your own dinner I gotta watch this real so I love that yeah yeah these practical things uh to do and bows I wanted to ask you that are you tying them fancy or you tying them like I tie my shoelace I'm tying them like you tie your shoelace and I'm using thin ribbon
36:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, or like, we're kind of like a velvet, you know, like maybe and on on my like candles and stuff you just use like a satin ribbon.
36:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, you know, so something really inexpensive that you can get like 25 yards of, you know, for like $5 at Hobby Lobby or something.
36:23
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what I'm using.
36:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Now I do use a little bit thicker.
36:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I think it's half of an inch is what I use on my Christmas tree and those are velvet just because I think that the texture pops a little bit more.
36:35
[SPEAKER_00]: But on the candles, on this here, on my lamps, the grow gain, I do have some grow gain,
36:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Reaths on my friend or so.
36:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, that's a different.
36:49
[SPEAKER_02]: That's amazing.
36:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes, boes.
36:51
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, and I've y'all aren't falling around Instagram.
36:53
[SPEAKER_02]: It's time to do that because I'm guessing you'll get to see some of these things.
36:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, it's okay.
36:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
36:58
[SPEAKER_02]: The next one is give us an idea of this is kind of pressured if they don't have an original one.
37:03
[SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't have to be original.
37:04
[SPEAKER_02]: But what kind of gathering could we have that that would just be able to invite some people over like I do.
37:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I've done this for a million years.
37:10
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're
37:14
[SPEAKER_02]: But I like to do favorite things, you know, before Christmas and all the girls come and you know, I've I've and someone's saying they're overwhelmed by this, but listen, I have made it so easy because I literally, I ask everybody to bring something shareable and it's just my whole countertop as full and everybody has stuff around Christmas that's been dropped off already baked.
37:33
[SPEAKER_02]: So bring what it is, I don't care if it goes together.
37:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Do I care one bit?
37:37
[SPEAKER_02]: If we end up with 70 things of cookies and only one dish of pigs and blankets, don't care.
37:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, people aren't there for the food, but people come and every year we do that and it's so fun and laid back.
37:47
[SPEAKER_02]: But give us an idea, like, is our type of gathering?
37:49
[SPEAKER_02]: That one's big.
37:50
[SPEAKER_02]: This is the happy big.
37:51
[SPEAKER_02]: But they're like, listen, you want to have people and do this?
37:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, so this is one of my favorite things to do during the holidays because this week, before the week before Thanksgiving is when our Bible studies at church end,
38:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And they don't pick up until like the middle of January or maybe even the beginning of February.
38:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, but we've already blocked off that time.
38:12
[SPEAKER_00]: We've blocked off 9.30 to 11.30 in the morning.
38:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And we've blocked off 6 to 8 at night.
38:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And so, what I have done is I have opened my home and I've said, hey, that is still my Bible study time.
38:23
[SPEAKER_00]: So, if you want to come over, we are going to do hot chocolate and cookies throughout December and January and we're just going to hang out.
38:31
[SPEAKER_00]: That is, you don't have to ring gift.
38:32
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to dress a certain way.
38:34
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to cook food.
38:35
[SPEAKER_00]: It is just, I'm picking up a thing of soft house cookies or whatever they're called from Walmart.
38:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And I have some hot chocolate and some bags because we can just heat up our hot water in the microwave.
38:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Super, super easy low touch and I'm always so blessed by the people that show up.
38:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it's like five or six people and sometimes it's one, but regardless, it is such a blessing to connect, especially during like a really high touch season.
39:02
[SPEAKER_00]: Just have something where you're like, oh, I can go and I don't I can be in my pajamas or my slippers.
39:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't have to have enough of the sweater on or people so good.
39:14
[SPEAKER_02]: So good.
39:15
[SPEAKER_02]: And this way we think of one other quick tip that I would say and take it or leave it everyone.
39:19
[SPEAKER_02]: But I always try to make sure if possible that I'm the...
39:23
[SPEAKER_02]: least dressed up person that I've invited over because I don't want people to feel awkward.
39:28
[SPEAKER_02]: And so even, I mean, I mean, I don't, I don't, I try not to like homeless, but I also try not to like totally as you should up in what I'm wearing because I don't want someone else to feel bad.
39:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And find if everybody else is dressed up cute, but I just want, I try to be specific.
39:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Like come over where your pajamas, I don't care what I make it clear, but I also try to make sure I live up
39:46
[SPEAKER_00]: I live that too and that reminds me I have a chapter in the book all about boundaries and I think that that is like such a great physical boundary of like hey you're coming over from 6 to 730 and it will be done we will be done at 730 or hey come over at that you do not have to bring anything
40:03
[SPEAKER_00]: um, dress like this where, you know, the more you can be explicit and help people create boundaries and create parameters, the more comfortable they're going to feel walking into your space.
40:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Sorry, guys, that a cough there.
40:20
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, yes, I love that.
40:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, and I could talk to these wedding people about it because these wedding people are wearing me out because I don't know what any of this means to wear to these weddings.
40:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe it's a Dallas thing or the company parties when they're like,
40:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, she cowboy country back home college dorm, um, what, what do you talk about when we hear someone tell me what this is?
40:39
[SPEAKER_02]: But okay, last question, I'm gonna let you go.
40:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, thinking towards Christmas.
40:45
[SPEAKER_02]: a favorite, like maybe it's a traditional one for you, but a favorite thing you like to serve at a gathering, besides you and me with our pizza rolls and our pigs and a blanket, like is our another favorite thing you like to serve and I'm sure it's gonna cook with.
40:58
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, it is, it is in my cookbook, and it's a little polarizing, I need people to just give me some grace.
41:05
[SPEAKER_00]: It is a separate...
41:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, it is a horse radish flat bread.
41:08
[SPEAKER_00]: It has pomegranate and arugula on it and I feel like some You know how like when you bake with alcohol, I don't bake with alcohol a lot, but when you bake with alcohol like baked the alcohol out
41:18
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like when you bake the flat like I just buy some non that's like from the store already made or make my own non or anything I put horseradish on it and I usually mix it with a little bit more sour cream or a little bit more like cream cheese or something just to make it a little bit creamier and a little less spicy
41:38
[SPEAKER_00]: But when I feel like when I cook horseradish, it just kind of takes a little bit of that more that spice out and then the crunch and the sweetness of the pomegranates and the pepperiness of arugula.
41:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh, your mind will be blown also it's red and green and white and so it's Christmas.
41:58
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm so doing that.
41:59
[SPEAKER_02]: I hate to be the dumb one, but I know it's usually me anyway.
42:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And are we getting a real pomegranate and I'm banging it with a mallet and they're falling out for my buying.
42:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you're buying a cup of pomegranate seeds.
42:11
[SPEAKER_02]: We're like, that's like something that one sells on a store.
42:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, I mean, Walmart sells them.
42:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I know Trader Joe sells them.
42:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm sure every other, if Walmart sells it, surely everybody sells it.
42:21
[SPEAKER_00]: But they are over in the produce section where maybe your sinkers are like your ginger and your turmeric, like drinks.
42:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Are, you know, like, they do those juices.
42:33
[SPEAKER_00]: They're usually over there.
42:35
[SPEAKER_02]: OK, I love that tip.
42:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to use that.
42:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to use it.
42:37
[SPEAKER_02]: My favorite thing is part of you guys because I think it's fun.
42:40
[UNKNOWN]: OK.
42:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Tell everybody real quick, but I didn't even talk about your first the title of your first cook because I don't have it So now I'm getting ready to go order it because I must have so that we were to really talk about book two or But tell the cookbook name so we can link the cookbook is the living table.
42:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I think let me get it So you can all see it this is what it looks like What I have it you
43:06
[SPEAKER_02]: How it's viewed to fall into the world.
43:09
[SPEAKER_00]: See, yes, it's in the very back.
43:10
[SPEAKER_00]: There's the Arugula Flatbread.
43:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, y'all, it's so pretty.
43:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, we gotta have that.
43:15
[SPEAKER_00]: It's young.
43:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And then let the biscuits burn.
43:19
[SPEAKER_00]: It's right here, I think.
43:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, here's let the biscuits burn.
43:22
[SPEAKER_00]: It is, it is, it is chock full, if you, the first, I love, it kind of like mimics our conversation in that the first couple chapters are all about Jesus and then we get right into practicality and like how do we actually do this and then the very back is like now that we have talked about how you do it, this is what you need to buy to do it.
43:45
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like your table, it's like your tabletop cards, it's your paper plates and your easy pizza rolls and crescent rolls and all the things.
43:55
[SPEAKER_02]: So good Abby.
43:56
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, well, I'm gonna link it on podcast notes, you guys.
43:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Abby, pronounce your last name again for everybody.
44:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Kirk and Doll, it's kind of weird, K-E-Y.
44:05
[SPEAKER_00]: The U-Y in Danish is IR and so.
44:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Kirk and Doll.
44:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Kirk and Doll.
44:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, well, follow her on social.
44:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Um, on Insta, as we're seeing you, is that where you have primary sparsal?
44:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm here if I don't have a run Instagram.
44:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so I will definitely link all this in podcast notes.
44:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And I mean, that's if I can get past the decorating reels.
44:25
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know you guys, anybody's guess if I can do anything the next two weeks.
44:29
[SPEAKER_02]: But I'm gonna try my darnedest to get that done.
44:31
[SPEAKER_02]: No, we will.
44:32
[SPEAKER_02]: And we'll have it all linked.
44:34
[SPEAKER_02]: And Abby, I'm so glad to meet you.
44:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you.
44:36
[SPEAKER_00]: This is so great.
44:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm glad we were able to connect and get this up and out.
44:40
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm sure it will bless everyone right before the five week sprint that we're about to head into.
44:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
44:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, and happy baby, number two.
44:49
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
44:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
44:51
[SPEAKER_02]: We've been.
44:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh my goodness.
44:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, she isn't darling, right?
44:55
[SPEAKER_02]: How fun was that?
44:57
[SPEAKER_02]: Make sure you grab a book, let the biscuits burn.
44:59
[SPEAKER_02]: If you want more of the cookbook, then go to a living table.
45:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Those are her books that we talked about today and again, Abby Kirkendall on Instagram.
45:09
[SPEAKER_02]: And you guys I hope you have an awesome Thanksgiving.
45:11
[SPEAKER_02]: We are not going to release this show next week because it will be the day before Thanksgiving And let's be honest you're not going to listen and I'm not going to talk so we're going to take next week off and then we'll be back with some Christmas shows Really great ones coming your way, but I hope you have an awesome Thanksgiving.
45:25
[SPEAKER_02]: I want you to know that I don't take it for granted That I get to do this and visit with so many of you in real life, but also through podcasts and so
45:32
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for that.
45:34
[SPEAKER_02]: I hope you have an amazing Thanksgiving and I hope today's show is a helpful reminder for why we do what we do and that is to honor the Lord.
45:42
[SPEAKER_02]: All right you guys thanks for being a part of the mesmerized family you're the very best