Latest / LAUNCH: Parenting Tips for Raising Adult Children & Building Better Relationships / #38: Words of Wisdom from Troubled Youth | What Every Parent Needs to Hear
Transcript
- 0:01SPEAKER_00: I'm Sherry Jonas, and this is Launch.
- 0:05SPEAKER_00: Before I go on, can I just remind you that hitting the follow button tells me that you care about this podcast, and by doing that, you are helping it to grow.
- 0:15SPEAKER_00: It also means that every time I drop an episode, you'll be notified.
- 0:19SPEAKER_00: I think that makes it a win-win for both of us.
- 0:23SPEAKER_00: This episode is short, but it is such a special one, and when I'm done, you'll know why.
- 0:32SPEAKER_00: Every once in a while, something you read stays with you for life.
- 0:37SPEAKER_00: For me, it was a newspaper article from 1985 called Words of Wisdom from Troubled Youth.
- 0:45SPEAKER_00: It left such a mark on me that I promised myself I would keep it forever.
- 0:51SPEAKER_00: And one day, when I become a parent, I would read these lessons again and put them into practice.
- 0:58SPEAKER_00: It was written after a priest spent some time with young offenders.
- 1:03SPEAKER_00: He asked them to reflect on how they ended up where they were, and then to write down what they wished their parents had done differently.
- 1:13SPEAKER_00: What struck me most was that these powerful suggestions didn't come from experts or academics.
- 1:21SPEAKER_00: They came directly from young people who had stumbled in life, stumbled so badly that they were living in a correctional facility.
- 1:31SPEAKER_00: Their perspective was raw, honest, and deeply revealing.
- 1:37SPEAKER_00: I have been searching for this old newspaper clipping for so long, and recently, while going through a box of memorabilia, I found it.
- 1:47SPEAKER_00: Today, I'm going to share it with you exactly as it was written because I believe these suggestions are just as important now, maybe even more so, than they were back then.
- 2:01SPEAKER_00: This article is honestly some of the best pieces of advice I have ever heard, and I am thrilled that I can share it with you.
- 2:10SPEAKER_00: As parents, every day we are given the chance to learn from other people's mistakes, to correct ourselves, so that our kids never have to write a list like this one.
- 2:22SPEAKER_00: Here they are.
- 2:26SPEAKER_00: One, keep cool.
- 2:28SPEAKER_00: Don't fly off the handle.
- 2:30SPEAKER_00: Keep the lid on when things go wrong.
- 2:33SPEAKER_00: Kids need to see how much better things turn out when people keep their tempers under control.
- 2:40SPEAKER_00: Two, don't get strung out from booze or too many pills.
- 2:44SPEAKER_00: When we see our parents reaching for these crutches, we get the idea that it's perfectly okay to reach for a bottle or a pill when things get heavy.
- 2:53SPEAKER_00: Children are careful observers and great imitators.
- 2:58SPEAKER_00: Three, bug us a little.
- 3:02SPEAKER_00: Be strict.
- 3:03SPEAKER_00: Show us who's boss.
- 3:06SPEAKER_00: We need to know we have got some strong supports under us.
- 3:10SPEAKER_00: When you cave in, we get scared.
- 3:14SPEAKER_00: four.
- 3:15SPEAKER_00: Don't blow your class.
- 3:17SPEAKER_00: Stay on that pedestal.
- 3:19SPEAKER_00: Don't try to dress, dance, or talk like your kids.
- 3:23SPEAKER_00: You embarrass us and you look ridiculous.
- 3:27SPEAKER_00: Five, light a candle.
- 3:30SPEAKER_00: Show us the way.
- 3:31SPEAKER_00: Tell us God is not dead or sleeping or on vacation.
- 3:35SPEAKER_00: We need to believe in something bigger than ourselves.
- 3:39SPEAKER_00: Six, scare the hell out of us.
- 3:43SPEAKER_00: If you catch us lying, stealing, or being cruel, get tough.
- 3:48SPEAKER_00: Let us know why what we did was wrong.
- 3:51SPEAKER_00: Seven, when we need punishment, dish it out.
- 3:56SPEAKER_00: But let us know you still love us, even though we have let you down.
- 4:01SPEAKER_00: It will make us think twice before we make that same move again.
- 4:06SPEAKER_00: Eight, call our bluff.
- 4:09SPEAKER_00: Make it clear you mean what you say, and don't be intimidated by our threats to drop out of school or leave home.
- 4:16SPEAKER_00: Kids don't want everything they ask for.
- 4:19SPEAKER_00: 9.
- 4:20SPEAKER_00: Be honest and be straight arrow about everything.
- 4:24SPEAKER_00: We can take it.
- 4:26SPEAKER_00: Lukewarm answers make us uneasy.
- 4:29SPEAKER_00: We can smell uncertainty a mile away.
- 4:33SPEAKER_00: 10.
- 4:34SPEAKER_00: Praise us when we deserve it.
- 4:37SPEAKER_00: If you give us a few compliments once in a while, we will be able to accept criticism a lot easier.
- 4:46SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the most important parenting advice doesn't come from professionals.
- 4:51SPEAKER_00: It comes from the kids who paid the price for not getting what they needed at home.
- 4:56SPEAKER_00: What struck me the most about this article is that these troubled boys didn't want more freedom, more excuses, or more chances.
- 5:06SPEAKER_00: They wanted parents who were tougher, clearer, and more consistent.
- 5:11SPEAKER_00: They longed for boundaries, honesty, discipline, and praise when it was earned.
- 5:17SPEAKER_00: Their lives became a warning, but also a gift, a message for us as parents that love without limits or structure can backfire.
- 5:29SPEAKER_00: The good news is we can take their wisdom to heart.
- 5:32SPEAKER_00: We can be the parents our children need, firm, fair, loving, and unafraid to lead.
- 5:42SPEAKER_00: I'm Sherry Jonas, and this is Launch.
- 5:46SPEAKER_00: If this episode spoke to you, please share it with someone who will appreciate it as well.
- 5:52SPEAKER_00: And of course, please remember to tap that button because I want to keep talking to you for as long as I can, and the only way to know if you're listening is when you follow.