Latest / Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily / Den of Vipers by K.A. Knight - The Mafia Reverse Harem Episode!

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Den of Vipers by K.A. Knight - The Mafia Reverse Harem Episode! · Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily

0:00
Hi friends, you're listening to Loose the Plot with Carla and
0:02
Emily. In this episode we're reading
0:05
Denim Vipers by KA Knight. We are talking about the entire
0:09
book, so warning there will be spoilers.
0:25
I'm Carla, and even Snakes fear other Snakes.
0:30
I'm Emily. I would rather stick my Dick in
0:32
a chainsaw. It would be more fun than
0:34
reading this book again. Your literal Dick or.
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My literal Dick. Well, my literal Dick was see
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your whole Dick was see into a chainsaw, like into a chainsaw
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on a chainsaw adjacent to a chainsaw.
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It's quite out of the book. It's copied and pasted.
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Before we dive into this juicy episode, we have a tiny favour
0:57
to ask. If you've enjoyed our previous
0:59
episodes and want us to continue creating content, take a moment.
1:03
Right now, click over to our profile and leave us.
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A 5 star review on whichever platform you're using.
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Your review will help us reach more people and make our show
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more legit. Thank you in advance for
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supporting us. OK, so we've got our trigger
1:18
warnings. We really need a sound effect.
1:20
We need the. One of the, Yeah, one of these.
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Not that one. Trigger.
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Warning. I think that should be it.
1:35
I think that's. Beautiful.
1:36
Everyone can fit OK trigger warnings now.
1:41
These are from because they weren't at the start of the
1:43
book. So these are from book trigger
1:45
warnings.com. Are we ready?
1:48
No blood, death on page. Domestic abuse, Gore,
1:55
kidnapping, self harm, Sexual abuse, torture, violence.
1:59
I feel like there was so much more.
2:01
Why did in other books we get 10 pages of trigger warnings?
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Yeah, like Butcher and Blackbird was the whole Yeah, like 3
2:08
pages. Fucking Dictionary of triggers.
2:12
There's definitely more, dude. This whole book is a trigger
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warning from 0% to 100%. I don't give fuck the whole
2:18
thing. The whole thing should have been
2:20
back in a hole. Now, this is the second time
2:22
you've read this, yes? So you unfortunately had to
2:26
refresh. Even though I've read this
2:30
willingly. Twice.
2:31
It felt forced both times. It's.
2:36
Like they felt like there was a gun to my head the entire time.
2:39
If anyone ever said, hey, what does non consent feel like?
2:43
Just be like read denim. Vipers read this book.
2:46
This is exactly how it felt. It's like brain non consent.
2:49
Yeah, it never ends, but my brain didn't need to go these
2:54
places in my lifetime. No, it didn't.
2:57
It just didn't. And that's exactly why we were I
3:01
honestly think people might be slightly deranged.
3:05
I mean that respectfully. I think you never actually mean
3:09
that respectfully. But anyway, you know what it is.
3:12
It's kind of the shock value smart.
3:15
I I decided after I finished this book, right if they had no
3:19
money, these men, these four men, had no money.
3:23
I decided that writer would be a receptionist in a hotel, but
3:27
he'd be the creepy one that's like only lives to work, not
3:30
eating. Smoking has an ego.
3:33
Trip. He's annoying.
3:34
Slimy. He's creepy master key for all
3:36
of the apartment. Total creep.
3:38
Enzo would probably just have a gambling addiction.
3:40
He'd get really lucky and then he'd be unlucky and spiral,
3:43
Yeah, he'd just be at. The TAB eating some random
3:46
subway off the road, I don't know.
3:48
As far as you can lower, you can go down.
3:50
And then I decided diesel would be the weirdo that no one would
3:54
drop the soap around in jail. But then he's in jail.
3:57
Clearly, he'd be. Wanking in the corner every time
3:59
there was a fistfight, I feel like that would be it.
4:02
And then Garrett. For some reason I feel like he
4:05
would fight on the weekends but work in a phone repair shop.
4:08
And that's He hates women just as much.
4:12
He just hates women. Working in his.
4:15
Repair shop. He's like these fucking women.
4:18
Just keep. Their own gold diggers, they're
4:21
all just trying to take your money.
4:23
And that's the only thing that got me through.
4:26
Wow. I don't ever want to meet any of
4:28
these people, money or no money. Oh no.
4:31
I was listening to the audio book as I do because I'm a lazy
4:34
cow. Anyway, so there's the four main
4:39
male characters, but because, you know, with the voice actors,
4:42
they usually have one male, one female.
4:44
So the male character voiced all the male characters.
4:47
So yeah, literally it was the worst.
4:50
And because this is British, he had the real Cockney, Jason
4:55
Statham. So all I could think about was
4:57
Jason Statham. No.
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And his voice was like, it did not sound sexy.
5:02
You know how this supposed to at least be sexy?
5:04
So all the horrible things they're doing, at least it's.
5:07
The sample I heard was Irish Was Roxy Irish.
5:12
But he was just like, and he sounded old and crusty, dusty
5:17
and gross, like the kind of tracks trying to mug you.
5:20
It tracks. It tracks but it felt like she
5:23
was just banging everybody and it was very hard for me.
5:26
That's all she was doing, but it sounded like she was banging
5:28
Wando the whole time. Yeah, but if I had to hear a
5:31
little bird like one more time, I'm jumping off a Cliff.
5:36
This I I. Remember.
5:39
I'm just like moving on. Are you okay therapy question,
5:45
question mark, question mark? Therapy.
5:47
For some reason, I don't know why, but the first time I read
5:51
this book and I don't know if it's some wormhole I've entered,
5:55
I thought that Garrett was bald with a tattooed head.
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I can see it, but I've been convinced about that since the
6:03
first time I read it and now he has long hair, so I don't know
6:06
what's happened. I can't imagine him with long
6:08
hair at all. He has.
6:10
Long hair in the face. I imagine him looking like a
6:12
skin coloured track. The ears too, yeah.
6:17
Or the Hulk. It's just the earwax coming out
6:19
Bulk. So he makes candles on the
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weekend too. Yeah, with his earwax.
6:23
He's just so. Angry.
6:25
He's so in Sally. Yeah, but grown, man.
6:28
Yeah, stop. Ohh, I've stressed because this
6:31
is a very long book. It was like 19 hours of Jason
6:34
Statham screaming at me. It's about 300 pages.
6:38
Too long it's just. About 637 pages too long.
6:43
Jesus Christ, I know, yeah, but it's just it is way too long for
6:48
something without a plot. I understand if you're trying to
6:52
make a smart book. Yeah, I get it.
6:55
I get it. I totally get it.
6:56
Yeah. It's just porn.
6:58
Relax, right Colour. Just relax.
7:00
It's just porn. Yeah, me breaking out, but it's
7:04
too long. It's too much, You know how,
7:08
like, at least with some smarts, they're pretending to have a
7:13
plot, so when the porn scenes come up, it's part of the story.
7:17
But this one I fell asleep during.
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I'm not afraid to admit I woke up during another sex scene and
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I'm like, whatever. I don't need to go back and
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figure out what happened because it doesn't matter who this is.
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It doesn't matter. It does not matter.
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It's all the same. Let's start with Roxy, our main
7:34
female. Character Roxanne.
7:38
Roxanne totally Ocky, so she's our main character.
7:44
Her dad is absolute gutter. Trash.
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Fail. Fail.
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Worse. Disgusting.
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And not only is he gutter trash, he brings her into his shit as
7:54
an adult. Yeah, How do you promise a fully
7:58
grown adult woman? How do you promise?
8:00
But how do you also take a fully grown?
8:03
You're like, yeah, you know what?
8:04
That's the deal for me. And they just decided, oh, she's
8:08
ours. So they have a very powerful
8:11
mafia. Obviously I don't.
8:13
I do not understand how they're just their own little entity.
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Two of them are actual Blood Brothers.
8:19
Yes, Kenzo and Rada. When my Co worker was
8:24
recommending this book, she fucking lied to me because she
8:28
said it's not real incest because they're like brothers.
8:31
No, two of them are brothers. Yeah, Nong, I'm like absolutely
8:39
not. Because she knows I don't like
8:40
that. I It's gross.
8:42
Hey, it's fucking. Foul.
8:44
And you know who else does it? Penelope Douglas somehow always
8:47
slides a little Brother incest in there.
8:50
God damn. Never.
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Just live. So she's minding her own
8:54
business. She lives above her.
8:56
Bar she's self-sufficient, she's an independent queen.
9:00
How did we start with such a good character?
9:02
And she folded like a piece of paper.
9:05
She is immediately worst character I've ever read in my
9:08
life. She folded like a deck chair in
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a hurricane. She.
9:12
Was done like straight away too. It was like Chapter 2.
9:16
I'm a pick me now. You know what I hate?
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I hate so much? It was she.
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How do you? OK, I'm going too far ahead, but
9:25
it's fine. It's fine.
9:26
Go. Ahead, how do you get kidnapped?
9:28
And then you start bossing them around in like business meetings
9:33
in front of everyone. You've been there for two
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fucking days. You have no corporate
9:37
experience, she. They way up against their like
9:42
enemy and she was like, I call all the shops.
9:45
You've been there for a week, barely know everyone's names.
9:50
I just don't. And that how how did they just
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they're like, you know what? Tell me, Mommy, please.
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They're just okay. They've been in this business
9:59
for years. What I want to get is how they
10:01
pretend like none of them happen to have any relationships except
10:06
for the one that fucked over Garrett, because he's all fucked
10:08
about women now. What, you're telling me 4
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attractive, grown adult ass men who have all the power and all
10:15
the money in the world don't have a side bitch somewhere?
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They don't have the time. They're all single at the same
10:21
time. I mean, fucks me about reverse
10:23
parents. They're always available.
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Yeah, excuse me. I would love fun where they're
10:29
some are not available and they slowly just work.
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Why is this convenient? Oh, we're all available.
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We all kidnap you. You got Stockholm immediately.
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Stockholm And now you run this whole empire.
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If I took a shot for every time they said Viper, I'd be dead,
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little bird. Little bird deceased.
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I'd be deceased in my next lifetime.
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I don't understand how Diesel is the most unhinged and sane
10:54
character. Yeah, reading his.
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Point of views, Yeah. But Kenzo's supposed to be the
10:59
nice one, right? He's kind of the most sane,
11:02
yeah. Because he does aftercare.
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Mummy boy, Yeah, no, but Diesel does Aftercare too.
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Kenzo is all sex aftercare. Forget about Garrett and
11:15
fucking. Fuck Garrett.
11:16
Garrett doesn't exist. Ryder.
11:18
What's the point? I feel like he was the most
11:20
useless character. He is.
11:22
And when she called him an alpha, I died inside.
11:25
Come on. Why?
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Because he wears suits. That's it.
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That's all he does. I can wear a suit too, right?
11:32
You could be running that shit. I mean, I wouldn't be mentally
11:35
sound, but OK, OK, The thing that gave me hope at the start.
11:40
So they bust in, they're like your dad owes us and we're going
11:43
to fucking take ya basically. And there was no resistance
11:46
because everyone and just pissed off.
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The best bit was when she fought back.
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Well, the original goons, not them, the original, the original
11:54
goons. She fought them back.
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They all ended up in the lock up.
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I was like. Oh.
11:59
Yeah, that's a bit spicy. Yeah, she she knows how to
12:03
fight. And she was like, I'm not going
12:05
down without a fight. And then these guys actually
12:08
roll through because they're like, if you want to get a job
12:10
done, you'd better do it yourself.
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I just don't know how. OK, book math.
12:15
Bookmath is bashing someone with a bat and then just going to
12:19
lock up. You're telling me they wouldn't
12:21
be dead? She hit a couple in the head,
12:24
she got them dragged outside and then she just called the cops
12:28
and they come. But how do they charge them when
12:30
they don't know what happened? Because she just went to bed.
12:32
She didn't even give the police a statement.
12:34
Not typical bookmath, as you just mentioned.
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Yeah. Is the girl getting kidnapped
12:42
and then suddenly being in a better living situation?
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Yeah, that doesn't. Isn't that always the case?
12:48
Yeah, she was struggling being a bartender, working long hours
12:51
running a bar. And then now, because she's
12:54
kidnapped, she's magically got a penthouse suite.
12:58
Everything. Through bigger than my entire
13:00
house, literally. And then she's angry.
13:03
She tears everything up. Yeah.
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You know, like a little feral cat.
13:06
Yeah, you tell Em she doesn't have a real mattress and you
13:09
can't tell me otherwise, and she decides to tear up the first
13:13
real thing she's slept on since she was born.
13:16
Yeah, she's in a hay Bale at home above the bar.
13:20
She's on a rat's nest when they were snatching all her stuff
13:23
because she was passed out to take her over to the penthouse.
13:27
Yeah. Was it Ryder that took the
13:29
photo? Kenzo.
13:30
Oh, Kenzo. He's like, oh, a sentimental
13:32
thing. Who's this bloke?
13:33
He was already jealous. It's like bitch you met this
13:36
bitch 5 seconds ago. Only that he was like, I'm going
13:39
to use it against her. No one cares, Kenzo.
13:42
They were whacking off to her photo from the minute they got
13:45
it and they were like, oh, it might be a bit harder.
13:48
To kill her later. Did these people see other women
13:51
ever because they acted like she was Beyoncé?
13:55
I just. I know she had the crustiest
13:56
eyes. You know when they you wake up
13:58
with like the mascara, I just. Love.
14:00
And it's just crusty. There's like some bugs in there,
14:04
she had. Silver hair.
14:05
Yeah. So that made her you Dick?
14:08
She never went to the hairdressers, so I would love to
14:10
know she's just premature graying.
14:13
It's fine. To Let's dress.
14:15
Yeah, she's literally like, I've had a shit dad and my fucking
14:18
whole life sucks, but I get kidnapped.
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They did say Diesel slept with a lot of women and they used to
14:23
pay them off. Because he used to torture the
14:27
fact. Fun fact.
14:29
Yeah, so they're all fucked. I don't even know what's even
14:32
their motivation for needing her.
14:34
They would be like, it's just so no one else thinks we're just
14:38
becoming soft or something. No one would know.
14:41
No one would know. Who are you proving?
14:44
Proving to her. Alcoholic father, but that
14:47
doesn't leave his house and has a gambling debt and he's a
14:49
lowlife also, why did they even just let him live in the 1st
14:52
place just. Kill.
14:53
Him. Hello.
14:55
He obviously doesn't have the money to pay you.
14:57
Back torture him. Why take the chick?
15:02
And they even figured out pretty early they're like, oh wow,
15:04
she's had a shit life. It's so sad.
15:06
Like they didn't kidnap her and abuse her, and then they're
15:08
like, you know what's good? Forcible sex.
15:11
That's a good way to start. The first time, Like, they
15:14
acknowledge that she has this huge trauma and they're like,
15:17
oh, her dad's a bit of a shit cunt, so let's just casually
15:20
rape her. And then just make her adulthood
15:24
as bad as her childhood was. There is so much about that
15:28
particular part that writes me OK.
15:32
Every time. But if my people author had to
15:36
put in there that it was slightly consensual because they
15:39
put in there, they never said no and it was reported like four
15:43
times bit and blaming. No, but it it did.
15:46
She was even. Roxy was like, yeah, but I
15:48
didn't say no, but she said multiple times, get off me or.
15:52
Get away from me, that is, say no.
15:55
To me. And then they were like, don't
15:57
tell Kenzo that because it would destroy him, because he's the
16:00
only one of us who's not a rapist.
16:03
And yeah, and they're. Like, well, guess what?
16:05
He is. They're like confirmed for us
16:07
that you never actually said no because I was there and you
16:10
didn't actually say the word no. It was repeated multiple times.
16:14
They're like just confirming. She didn't say no, so it was OK
16:20
when they had plenty of time to not do it in the 1st place was.
16:25
The running away and kicking him, telling him to get away
16:28
from her? Not enough, apparently.
16:31
Disgusting. They're just so used to their
16:32
prey, sprinting from them so they can't tell the difference.
16:36
How they got traumatized and she was locked in that bedroom.
16:42
So this isn't like, hey, we kind of know your dad's a shit cunt,
16:45
your life has been shitty. You've got the option to leave.
16:50
It wasn't that. It was like, no, we'll just wait
16:53
until the Stockholms kicks in. But literally day two.
16:56
She was horny all the time, the pussy throbs.
16:59
And I'm like, bitch, you've been kidnapped.
17:01
Don't you have other things to prioritize?
17:03
Yeah, like it's just. Like.
17:05
What? Is going on.
17:07
They are so great. Well, I've had a bit of a dry
17:09
spell, so. My.
17:11
Pussy be clenching, Pussy pussy my clenching, my pussy
17:18
quivering. The pussy Quick dude.
17:23
That would probably turn them off.
17:24
They'd let her out. They'd be like, you can leave.
17:28
Yeah. So day two, she was like, all of
17:31
them are sexy. All of them.
17:33
Only want me. Except.
17:38
One but I can fix. Him on the Garrett.
17:41
The Garrett situation. There's no excuses for that, man
17:47
the way that she was. Like maybe she was.
17:50
Wrong. Whatever she did to you, I mean
17:54
not me doing an interpretive dance.
17:57
But the the mental gymnastics that she was going through.
18:01
Yeah. He's tried to kill her like
18:03
multiple times. They were.
18:04
More worried about Garrett than they were about Diesel.
18:07
Why were they so worried about Garrett that it was so funny?
18:10
Because they were like, Oh no, Paul Garrett.
18:14
This might change his mind. What if?
18:18
He was she. Was not his fight.
18:20
What if he's gay? Yep.
18:22
I just think, How did we start with a somewhat decent female
18:25
character and she just immediately was trash?
18:27
It just went downhill very fast. It went so downhill.
18:30
She's like the biggest pygmiesha that we've ever talked about.
18:33
I know. And that's that's.
18:35
All pygmies so you guys as well, Yeah, I.
18:39
Reckon that's so true but when it comes to female main
18:42
characters, she's kind of taking the lead and.
18:45
She takes the cake every time. I can't imagine anyone more pick
18:48
me. Nah, it's so sad.
18:51
I hate the way it was written that she was talking to us.
18:56
Did you notice to us? Yeah, as the reader.
18:59
Yeah, like she was having a conversation with us where she
19:02
was like. You know, my pussy just hurts
19:04
you. You get it right?
19:05
Like that's how they No. Yeah.
19:08
No, but you know what I mean? I'm like, don't talk to me,
19:10
bitch. You're on your own.
19:12
Well this is all you just. As your trash fire.
19:15
I'm just here. I'm here unwillingly,
19:18
unwillingly, depressed, stressed.
19:22
What was with all of them, Especially Diesel.
19:25
Just jizzing in his pants like he just got his ball Sacks.
19:28
I'm like like what? He was constantly wanking in
19:32
public places, but why was he just full jizzing to completion
19:36
in his pants to completion like? Like I gave Milhouse.
19:40
Like what is going? On why?
19:41
Was he constantly hard or like rubbing?
19:45
He's had a sex. Addiction.
19:46
Yeah, 100. Percent sex, He's the guy.
19:48
Watched Sons of Have you watched Sons of Anarchy?
19:51
Somewhat. But I don't die in there.
19:53
They cut off his fingers because he's constantly wanking.
19:56
That is Diesel problems he needs like a reverse Viagra.
20:01
There was a bit where he's rubbing himself through his
20:04
jeans and he's like, Kenzo noticed me, but it's just them
20:08
for there, like. What are you doing all the time?
20:12
He got off on the table? Did you read the bit where he
20:14
was wanking on the table? It's just.
20:17
I don't remember. That's a place of eating, so
20:21
know how I just said he was rubbing his Dick and Kenzi seen,
20:25
that's when they were bashing the dad.
20:29
So that's way later, no? You.
20:31
Have to start the start. Yeah, any violence, they all had
20:35
hard ONS. How do you come back from that?
20:37
No wonder why they had to kill everybody.
20:38
They've like they've seen too much.
20:40
This is embarrassing. It's not because they're
20:42
ruthless, it's because it's embarrassing.
20:44
Who are their enemies and who are they taking out?
20:47
The porn industry like. The entire I.
20:51
Don't know. She's killing people left right
20:54
and centre. And there was like, no, yeah.
20:57
No, no one cares. He's like, oh, this one looked
21:00
at me funny. I just got to take him home.
21:03
Speaking about all the people that they're bashing up,
21:04
killing, torturing, etcetera, etcetera, isn't it convenient
21:07
that in books like this there always happen to be murderers or
21:12
rapists that they're bashing and torturing and beating up?
21:15
I'm like. Come.
21:16
On like you guys are any better. You know what's also convenient?
21:21
The last chapter where apparently they have morals.
21:24
And then do you know what we're talking about?
21:26
Where they're Garrett's building a gym for underprivileged kids.
21:31
She. Changed her memory.
21:33
She got there at the end, right there now.
21:36
Donates to charity tax. Deductible can't remember.
21:40
What Diesel does doing his taxes properly, Diesel probably just
21:44
kills people a little less. I don't.
21:49
It's just how convenient that they get to be.
21:53
The judge, the jury and the executioner on all the people
21:56
they think are worse than them. You.
21:58
Guys suck. You guys already in the 7th
22:01
circle of hell and then you're the ones being like it's OK
22:04
because they're all rapists. And murderers.
22:07
That's fine. Got sick of us.
22:11
Who's paying you then? Who's paying you to take out all
22:14
these other criminals that are probably generating income?
22:17
Like it doesn't make any sense, but anyway I'm asking too much.
22:22
From a smart book I feel like with 600 pages.
22:25
Yeah, you could have figured that out.
22:27
It could have been figured out. Oh, that's so true.
22:29
If you just took out one sex scene, do you have a good
22:33
entire? Plot.
22:33
Actually though, if you just took out Dude, there are 70
22:38
chapters. In this book.
22:39
There could have been 30. 5. Maximum Max.
22:43
There did not need to be 70 motherfucking chapters.
22:46
I feel like every that sex scene has, like, traumatized me in
22:49
some sort of way. Like there's a different way.
22:52
I can't remember the full thing, but I remember a certain thing
22:55
from each of them that just gripes me OK.
23:00
So there's a part where I was confused.
23:01
So you know how technically there was chances that she could
23:05
escape and then not even that long she stopped trying to
23:09
escape physically. Wouldn't they eventually just
23:12
knock her? Because they're Why is she still
23:15
walked up in there? Well, there was times when they
23:18
stopped bothering and she had a bit more freedom, so why
23:22
wouldn't you just run away? And I'm no, I'm not talking
23:25
about the Stockholm, but they would surely give up after a
23:28
while. So if you wanted to keep her on
23:31
their toes, you know, I mean, she tried that one time and
23:35
everyone was crying. What a guilt trip.
23:39
What a guilt. Apparently, these men do cry.
23:42
It's just just imagine. Them bawling on the floor like
23:45
babies, like like Rocky, Molly tried.
23:47
To leave us you. I got to around 30% into the
23:54
book and I was already getting a bit of plot fatigue.
23:58
I was too much because I'm not a mafia girly, technically, so it
24:03
was either. Horrific sex scene or someone's
24:07
getting bashed in gore, but there was no explanation of what
24:12
was going on. To be fair, I've read more.
24:14
Chill Mafia books where it's in the background but it's not
24:17
essential to like their day-to-day.
24:21
I thought of it was unnecessary. I'm just not an action girly.
24:25
I need a bit more dialogue and a bit more.
24:27
It was just very much like, they're bashing this person,
24:29
then they're bashing that person.
24:31
They're cutting off this person's toes.
24:32
Like, yeah, like random stuff and.
24:34
Then they'd be having sex because they're cutting off
24:36
people's shit and. Like blah blah blah.
24:39
Why? OK, so I why does Diesel not
24:43
have some type of blood disease? You know what I'm saying?
24:48
He's like licking everyone's blood willingly.
24:50
He's got, he must have everything just in his way that
24:55
he hasn't come across one person that doesn't have some sort of
24:58
blood disease that he has not contracted.
25:01
Yeah. He's probably just a biohazard.
25:04
He's just looking up random blood.
25:06
He's probably creating all the new covids.
25:08
This is why there's so many rats.
25:10
Just strange. Just.
25:13
He's going to create some hybrid rat person thing.
25:16
Oh. Yuck.
25:17
He's he's failed. That's the only thing I didn't
25:19
get. I'm like, why do you need to
25:21
lick their blood, Sir? He's just feral.
25:25
All of them had a sob story. So dumb, though it's four men.
25:30
It's 4 mediocre white men with trauma and a God complex.
25:35
Yeah, this entire. Book.
25:36
All their traumas were supposed to justify them as how.
25:40
Horrible. They are absolutely not my
25:42
friend. I know Kenzo and Ryder, their
25:45
dad used to beat them and were in the same kind of business, so
25:49
they make sense they grew up in that.
25:52
But then Garrett had a bad. Breakup some girl tried to kill
25:57
you. Calm down.
25:59
Right. I'm like, you kill people daily.
26:02
You started it. You kill people daily and you
26:05
just think, oh. You're telling me this chick
26:07
wasn't in self-defense. You're telling me you're
26:10
offended even though you've murdered probably 100 plus?
26:13
People, Diesel was something like his mom was a drug addict.
26:17
And then he was getting beaten up and he was going to juvie.
26:20
And then the drug dealer burnt down their house with the mother
26:23
inside. And that's why he's in love with
26:24
the flames. The flames.
26:28
The flames, because he's even got a dictator of flames.
26:31
Remember your Mumbai? That's literally what it says.
26:35
It says something like to remember how low the times can
26:39
be or something. So when your Dick's soft, you
26:41
can remember how far down oh. God.
26:44
But then what? What happens when your Dick's
26:46
hard? Like can only go up from here?
26:48
I suppose you're just like. Yep, you're like.
26:50
Thinking about that time my mom got fucking.
26:53
Blazed in a fire. Yeah, he's like, really?
26:55
Gets me going. We can only climb upwards from
26:58
this fire. I want to know what that looks
27:00
like aesthetically. Someone plastered dig piercing
27:04
the fan art? It's just too much.
27:06
This is the only book I've never looked up fan art for.
27:09
Yeah, it's terrifying. But I've looked up fan casts and
27:12
they're all neat and clean. I'm like, you're telling me
27:14
Roxy's neat and clean. She's.
27:16
A rusty. She's a crusty.
27:17
Demon. She's a crusty white dog in
27:21
human form, yeah. There was a time where she
27:24
finished banging one of them, and I forget who because it's
27:26
all just AI can probably. Remember, it's all just a human
27:30
soup at this stage. And then she found out a bit
27:34
more about Garrett's back story. Yeah, I think it was.
27:38
And then, and I can't remember if she was even saying it as
27:41
part of the conversation, but she swooped in as if it was 100%
27:45
her responsibility to fix Garrett with sex.
27:48
She's like, oh thank God I'm here with my magical coochie.
27:52
And I'll just be able to heal him.
27:53
I'm pretty sure it was when he was choking around on the floor
27:56
or something, yeah. Something bad had happened.
27:58
She was like, I'll just be on the bottom.
28:00
It's fine, she he. Wants to kill you, man.
28:04
I mean, he's pinched you against that wall unsexually a million
28:07
times. Unsexually, yeah.
28:10
He's got it like on this huge chokehold and she's just like,
28:12
he's punched. He's he's punched her in the
28:14
face a couple of times and she's like, you know what, no pain, no
28:17
gain. Because all the guys were like,
28:19
oh, you've got to, like you've got to.
28:22
They were doing that all the. Time.
28:23
Yeah. They're like, oh, she might be
28:24
able to fix him. Oh, thank God Roxy's here.
28:28
What would you guys have done if she never became part of your
28:32
life? They would.
28:34
Fuck a wall. There would be a whole wall of
28:38
glory holes in their apartment and they would just take turns
28:42
on the other side. Literally, At least they'd be
28:45
doing themselves a favour and not traumatizing the rest of the
28:48
world and bullshit. But I just.
28:54
I just wanted to cry. I was like, that's the most pick
28:56
Misha thing you could ever do. It's just continues to get
29:00
worse. Though.
29:02
I know, Like she's the only girl that can handle Diesel.
29:08
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's the only one.
29:10
Of course. Hello.
29:12
You know what? I don't even hate reverse harms.
29:15
I don't hate them. I think it They're always too
29:18
convenient. They always happen to.
29:20
There's, there's always too easy.
29:22
They sometimes can be like sex fatiguing, too.
29:25
But in this way. She's forced into the situation.
29:30
She wasn't thinking about men at all, and now she magically is
29:35
horny and crazy for all of them. Yeah, because she was forced to
29:40
bang all of them in the first place.
29:42
Yeah, it wasn't like, oh, I really want something like this.
29:47
And then? She kind of got into it.
29:49
But yeah, it was just like, this is already happening.
29:52
So you're either going to like it or fucking hate it.
29:54
Yeah, you're here and you're here to stay.
29:55
And she chose the path of less resistance.
29:57
Yeah, she's like, I'm going to decide that.
29:59
I love it. Yeah.
30:00
Yeah. It's just amazing.
30:01
It's. Very thought process about it,
30:04
she's like. The pussy throbeth when the
30:07
pussy throbber. The pussy gets us coochie
30:12
lations coochie 100 and 121. Bible, according to coochie
30:19
lations. Like, that's what she decided.
30:24
OK, it's her world and we just see us.
30:28
We're just living through it. Something I really despise, but
30:35
it's kind of the only thing that got me through this book was
30:38
random things they would say. I know that like, that's a bit
30:42
ominous, but it's like, it's like they put all the worst
30:47
quotes together. Like you got any right there?
30:51
I do. Oh, let me find the best one.
30:54
Please, please do. This is one of the first.
30:58
OK, I'm ready. You own a patch of land outside
31:01
city limits. You were once rich and powerful.
31:04
Not anymore. I will squash you like a bug,
31:08
but remember that you're when you're torched with your people.
31:12
Remember the olive branch I offered.
31:16
If that's just me getting. Tortured, I would.
31:20
Be my son like. There's SO many.
31:27
There was one where he's like, you better scream my name into
31:30
the night while they're. Having.
31:32
Sex. Dude, if we're.
31:35
Getting kidnapped and we're in the same room.
31:37
Please don't make my contact with me because we are so dying.
31:41
There was another. One where she's like, Garrett
31:44
says to her, you you want to escape his wrath or something.
31:48
I'm like another one sounds. Like a Disney.
31:54
Villain, I will kill anyone who looks at you wrong.
31:59
Stay by our side, but show No Fear, baby.
32:01
This might be the Vipers Den, but out there it's a fucking
32:04
Hornets nest. It's so corny.
32:10
Oh my God, you know, okay. Note for later you have to make
32:14
that TikTok. Of the two guys pissing
32:16
themselves laughing. And then the caption is like
32:19
Carla and Emily being kidnapped by the Den of Wipers.
32:21
And then please. Yeah, please make that
32:25
imprinting talk. I can't deal.
32:28
So there's a really bad pick me part where she essentially makes
32:31
Garrett fucker. It's so tragic.
32:34
It wasn't the first time they had sex.
32:36
She made him do it. And then her.
32:37
Pick me arses yelling about her dad during I was like no.
32:43
Is it in her head? I can't remember.
32:44
I thought she was literally. Yelling, I was like, stop it.
32:47
Just anything they said. I was like, who?
32:51
Who like? There's.
32:52
Another word. He's like who dare and salt our
32:54
Princess? Okay, Beauty and the Beast.
33:00
It's like, she's like, I'm used to being the underdog, but no
33:02
longer. Now I'm a fucking Viper Queen
33:06
there, girl, And I'm going to tell the whole city tonight I'm
33:09
like, OK, chill girlfriend. Meanwhile, she's just on
33:11
Twitter. I know, I know.
33:14
One whole hyper queen with like, a little snake emoji.
33:19
Everyone. Like, OK, bitch, OK, calm down.
33:22
Like you having a menti pee online.
33:23
She's on live. She's like, she's like guys.
33:27
Viper Queen, You can't tell me that if any of these people had
33:32
Twitter, that gens even just gobbled them up.
33:35
Gobbled. Gobbled.
33:36
Gobbled Although, would they be like, slay because they're in a
33:40
polyamorous relationship? I feel like they would, but I
33:43
feel like if someone responded, be careful what you say or
33:47
you're going to face Ryder's raft, they'd be like, OK, like.
33:52
Pop off king They would probably.
33:53
Cancel them though, Yeah, because they'd realized there's
33:56
so much non consent. So I'm sorry to have to go back
33:58
to this, but I There's a lot of grown men.
34:01
There's too many a lot of. Times jizzing in their pants.
34:05
Who's. Doing their dry cleaning.
34:07
They've got expensive suits. Are they just throwing out their
34:10
underwear like Justin Bieber? After one day of wearing his
34:13
Calvin Klein's, he just puts them in the bin.
34:18
That's how rich he's frosting somewhere.
34:20
That's how rich he is. I mean, Diesel had the messiest
34:23
room. So do you reckon just all his
34:25
jizzed out underwear crusty? It's the whole crusty can they
34:28
wear. Undies.
34:29
I feel like some of them are going to mando and just there's
34:31
just rippers of jizz in their suit pants, I mean.
34:35
What about the poor dry cleaner that has to do this?
34:38
Yeah. Who is cleaning their house?
34:41
I feel like they wouldn't have anyone in their house because
34:44
they're all drained. Yeah.
34:45
Paranoid, and they wouldn't be allowed.
34:47
Out They're poor. Guards.
34:49
There's probably some maid in the basement who's also banging
34:51
all of them, just like oh. Yeah, that's what's Roxy's
34:56
fault. Like who's cooking food for all?
34:59
Of them all the time. I just want to see them sitting
35:01
down eating Lean Cuisines. They're like, oh, the youth
35:06
foods delivery has made it, and then Ryan is just.
35:09
Picking a little tonight, I'm assuming like Ryan is sitting
35:13
there with his little flower tea cup, living his life.
35:17
Who's scrubbing the showers this week?
35:20
Someone needs to scrub it. I mean, with the amount of
35:24
blood. Probably pissed and come in
35:28
there. Oh my God.
35:29
Imagine. So just say you've done some bad
35:32
things in your time. You're probably a murderer or
35:33
rapist or whatever, right? So turns out you're getting
35:37
tortured by the Vipers. Yeah.
35:39
As it as it is, as it is, your Dick's in a vice.
35:42
And then you had to deal with this immature flirting right in
35:45
front of you. Oh my God.
35:47
Fucking frothing all over each other and you're just sitting
35:50
there with your Dick in a vice. I'd be like, just fucking squish
35:53
it, man. Just Take Me Out of this world.
35:57
Anytime. Take everything.
35:58
Anytime. Roxy was in a place with them
36:01
and they were torturing somewhere.
36:02
The thing is, no one is scared of her.
36:05
No, while this is happening, I feel like they just kill me
36:08
because this is. I need this to be over like
36:11
you're. I'm cringe.
36:13
They're pretty much blood is dripping all through their eyes
36:15
and then they're trying to just look around to be like, am I
36:17
alive? And then they'll be like, look
36:19
at her. She's out and they're.
36:23
Like. Open Pushy.
36:26
Like she's so naked on the table, wide receiver, ready to
36:30
take some like 800 Dicks. And then the mute is falling out
36:34
at this point and they're just like.
36:37
And they're just like, don't. Go to prolapse you oh.
36:40
My God. Like, don't smell her open
36:43
pussy. We're nowhere near the ocean.
36:47
Calm down. It's.
36:50
Just too much. We know she's probably got BV
36:53
from these dirty Dicks. Dude, I was going to say I could
36:56
talk 10 minutes about the type of BV she's probably got.
36:59
I mean. Diesel just raw dog in it.
37:03
Right after Blood, piss, blood, shit.
37:05
Just you can't tell me that someone.
37:08
OK knife scene right to knife. Scene.
37:10
Not the worst scene. With the worst scene of the boy.
37:14
They kill a man, They don't clean it up.
37:16
You can't tell me that that man didn't shit himself.
37:19
And they're not just fucking next to a dead guy, but a guy
37:22
that shit himself. Yep, right next to him, he
37:26
chained her up on the same chains.
37:29
But how are you pounding Jack Rabbiting when you've got blood
37:33
pissing out near your hip area? But it's OK because he knew
37:36
where he was aiming the knife. It's my.
37:38
Book how big was this knife? Because it wasn't.
37:41
It wasn't. It's a butter knife at this
37:43
point if it's not doing anything.
37:44
Well, he's pissing blood. How do you keep pumping away and
37:48
trying to come when you're about to piss out?
37:52
Stop it. Like why?
37:53
It was the most foul sex scene I've ever read.
37:57
Yeah. Nothing makes me sick.
38:00
Nothing makes me sick. To be fair, you do have you do.
38:03
Tell me, Harriet, movies you'll watch.
38:05
And I'm like, how did? You watch that before bed.
38:07
Yeah. And.
38:08
And This is why nothing makes me sick, but I think it was the
38:11
combo of the sex and the goal. Yeah, that I.
38:16
Yeah. Like, obviously it was going to
38:17
vomit. Oh, it's terrible.
38:20
It's the worst. It's the worst if you were.
38:22
Listening. If you were reading this and
38:25
you're like, fuck yeah, knife in the arsehole.
38:27
Fucking the bean. Bye.
38:31
Get on that escalator that takes you to fucking hell and get out
38:35
of our fucking universe. See.
38:38
Ya. This is officially the PA to get
38:42
the fuck off the planet. Bing Bong.
38:44
It's time to go. You, whoever you are.
38:48
Absolute monstrosity. I hope you feel bad about
38:53
himself. That's how troubled you are, I'm
38:59
assuming. Yeah, And then they just go
39:01
upstairs and act like nothing happens.
39:05
They're like, oh. I guess he's going to need some
39:07
stitches or something. Oh yeah.
39:08
She's like, oh thank God, I know how to stitch things up.
39:13
What about stitching up your life babes?
39:16
Like what is what are you doing? Doll God.
39:20
Honestly, if I had to hear Little Dirty Bird, she loves it.
39:24
Like one more time. They all had a nickname for her.
39:28
All I could hear was a little fucking bird.
39:31
Surprisingly I was OK with it but non existent I think.
39:37
I think I was OK with it because he was unhinged and it made
39:40
sense. We need we.
39:48
Need. Sound.
39:49
We need an. Actual.
39:52
Siren the police. I don't know where we will go.
40:00
Oh. Shit, OK, I forget who was
40:03
banging her because like I said before, it all bleed together.
40:07
So there was one one point when one of them was screaming come
40:10
at her and he grabbed her clit piercing, grabbed it and he
40:15
expected her to come immediately because he grabbed her piercing.
40:18
It sounds like all of them did that, though.
40:21
What? How do you think that's going to
40:22
work, babes? You're literally ripping A
40:24
piercing out. I'm pretty sure it was probably
40:26
diesel. No, probably.
40:29
Garrett. It's giving Ryder Garrett
40:31
diesel. It's not giving Kenzo, but it
40:35
could have been any of them, Well, all of them, in a way,
40:37
with the same dude. To me.
40:39
I was like, I sort of don't care.
40:40
Yeah, all of them can't just be magically in love with her, but
40:45
they immediately. But they were.
40:47
They stopped caring Shindrim themselves.
40:49
It's their fault. There was just no character
40:52
development. None.
40:53
The only development that happened was.
40:57
Me losing the world to live. That was your own personal
41:01
journey. That wasn't.
41:03
That wasn't Canon. No.
41:05
Oh my God. Every time it's like she
41:08
flipped, flipped a page and she was immediately like the boss.
41:12
Yeah, the Viper queen. And she's like and she's a
41:14
fucking Viper every two seconds. Yeah, that's a bitch why no one
41:18
cares about. You No one thinks you're scary.
41:23
They all just see this crusty white dog looking person.
41:27
You know what? There was one point when she was
41:29
doing that thing that you mentioned where she talks to
41:31
either the audience or herself. Yeah, and she was talking to
41:34
herself and then she was saying, Oh well, I have done worse.
41:38
How have you done worse than banging a fucking group of
41:41
actual? Brothers, what?
41:44
You've had a whole knife in your asshole and you're telling me
41:46
you've done worse? That's what I mean.
41:48
What has she done that could be worse than this?
41:51
Does she fucking bump? Like what?
41:54
Oh my God. Kenzo was talking to himself at
41:57
one point and he was saying Roxy, since Roxy's come into our
42:01
life, it's really making us think about why we started this
42:05
mafia. And it was for love and.
42:07
For family. What family?
42:10
What love? But that that's The funny thing.
42:13
He was acting like she was the glue.
42:14
And he goes, oh, this is a throwback on why we started this
42:17
lovely charitable organization. I mean Mafia.
42:21
We just started murdering people out of love.
42:23
He's like for love and for family.
42:26
Is he deranged? Is he the only one that has no
42:29
idea what the other three are doing?
42:31
That's what I I'm just like, OK, apparently.
42:34
He's not a killer. He's a lover, our sensitive
42:37
little Kenzo. As soon as Roxy hears any sad
42:41
story about all of them, she completely, 100% understands
42:44
their whole Because he is throbbing.
42:46
Yeah. And then everything they ever
42:48
have done or we'll do is just totally fine.
42:50
Yeah, because they're the same person.
42:52
I'm like girl, you are not the same person who wanted 70
42:55
chapters of this. Is the owl in the room with us?
43:01
Like actually no. Who is that hard strapped that
43:05
they need 70 chapters of this? Saying it's a five out of five.
43:11
We should. We should go on the Goodreads
43:14
right now and shame some people. I the five out of five smut.
43:18
Is it though? Because I could live my whole
43:21
life without reading her Getting fucked by a water bottle, Could
43:27
you? Imagine the water bottle scene
43:29
where she's fucking right, all right, And he jams this cold
43:32
water up her per SE, right? If he just, if he's in the
43:37
office. So he's downstairs, let's say in
43:39
the building where other people work, he just takes it out and
43:41
puts it back in the fridge. He's like, oh, we're not wasting
43:46
any. That must have been sources.
43:48
OK, so something funny happened and it was the fact that I
43:52
skipped from chapter 40 to chapter 60 because it made no
43:56
difference my entire plot because I was like, OK, this is
44:00
taking too long. I had it on 2 1/2 fucking speed.
44:03
It was 19 hours total book and it was still going too slow.
44:07
It kept being stuck. You know when you're reading a
44:09
book and it kept being stuck. It was stuck at 9 hours for 10
44:11
hours I was like, I'm going nowhere.
44:13
So I skipped from chapter 40 to 60.
44:16
I don't even know if you missed anything.
44:18
I didn't. Did you get Did you read the
44:21
part where they blew up the hotel and stuff and she got
44:23
kidnapped? Yeah.
44:25
OK, that's fine. So she got kidnapped.
44:27
Yeah, because I well, I knew that was going to happen anyway,
44:29
so it. Doesn't matter, but I just
44:31
missed some traumatizing sex scenes.
44:32
Big whoop. Oh.
44:33
That's fine. There was literally one where
44:36
she was fucked by a water bottle in the office against the wall
44:38
and he's like. Everyone down there below us can
44:42
see us. I'm like, wow.
44:43
Sir, you're like in a penthouse building.
44:46
I'm sure not a single person can see that.
44:47
How? How are they seeing through the
44:49
floor? Against the window, nobody
44:53
cares. Everyone would look.
44:54
But this is when she was like, let me take your pain.
44:58
Your pain is our pain. Let us help you so I'm on the
45:02
Goodreads. On the goods.
45:04
OK, let's have a look at what people saying wow, there's a lot
45:06
that aren't five star, OK? This person says this book is
45:10
pure perfection, and it's my new obsession.
45:13
It's a twisted, violent, intense, addictive, packed with
45:16
action and hot. AF It's the kind of dark romance
45:20
I love. OK, I'm going to just hop on to
45:23
emergency services real quick and submit this person for a
45:26
welfare check. Just don't like me.
45:28
I'll just be typing it back. You're just.
45:29
Busy. It's time.
45:31
It's time. I'm just on like one.
45:33
Have you not read other dark romance books?
45:35
I feel like there is better ones like this Person needs help.
45:40
They said they can't help but laugh at the dark humor, even
45:42
when someone's being tortured. OK, let's go back to the water
45:46
bottle thing. Have these guys ever heard of
45:48
wildsecrets.com? Love honey like any other show?
45:52
A. Lot of toys, But no.
45:54
I feel like they would be offended.
45:57
I feel like they would be the type of man that would be
45:59
offended by a sex toy. You know what I mean?
46:03
Yes, they're like, Oh no, she got off to this big vibrating
46:07
dildo. Why would you make random other
46:10
objects into sex toys? Because she's just going to get
46:12
ideas and start fucking doorknobs if you keep just like,
46:15
letting. Her.
46:16
Watch out for them cucumbers. Exactly.
46:18
I honestly feel like they would be offended.
46:20
They're like it's Dick shaped. Yeah.
46:22
They get offended by any any man she's around.
46:25
Oh, of course. Like they're going to a funeral
46:29
and she kisses one of the guards on the cheek and she's like, you
46:33
will not kill him. And they're like.
46:34
No, because she chose to kiss him on the cheek.
46:38
Yeah, come. Damn.
46:41
She got in trouble in one of the bits where she's sitting on.
46:45
Some guy's the guy in the end that steals from the hotel.
46:49
She sits on his lap. And Kenzo rips her back by hair
46:53
and it's like, don't you sit on him.
46:55
Oh my God, they need to. Calm down.
46:57
I just see them as feral dogs. Yeah, that need to have like
47:00
muscles rabies. Yeah, you know, I paid $4.00 for
47:05
the convenience of an audio book and just have Jason Statham
47:07
screaming at me for fucking 19 hours.
47:11
I paid $4.00 for this shit. I would return it.
47:14
It's too late. Already gone through the whole
47:16
audio file. They'll be like bitch, we know
47:18
you flick the beam to the shit. I'll be like I'm.
47:22
Personally offended, My hand was the furthest away from my vagina
47:27
it's ever been in my entire life during this entire audio.
47:30
Far away it was in another room. It was so far away that I forgot
47:33
that I even had hands or a vagina.
47:35
That's how like, uninspired I was with this book.
47:41
I'm sorry, does that just make me normal?
47:43
Is this like the normal test? Can we talk?
47:46
About when she gets kidnapped? Yes, if you remember.
47:50
Probably. I'll Probably remember.
47:51
Going for gold, Emily? That's.
47:53
For you. So she gets kidnapped and she's
47:55
like flirting with the guy, torturing her and she's like.
47:58
Diesel does better than this. I'm like, calm down.
48:02
Somehow four men make their way into a building.
48:06
This happens like multiple times where they take down like. 30
48:10
plus men like an entire SWAT team.
48:11
Did they take down 50 million men with this?
48:15
The four of them shooting at people?
48:17
You're telling me they all have a clean shot, But the 50 other
48:22
guards for the Triad can't get a single one in a single one.
48:27
There was a grenade thrown at them and this.
48:30
She hit it with her bat. Somehow, she got a bat.
48:33
Yeah, and she hit you like Harley Quinn.
48:36
Actually, I think that's where they were aiming for when I
48:39
think about it, because all we ever hear about in this entire
48:41
fucking book is that bat. Yeah, that's the thing.
48:44
She's fucking later, I'm sure. But she, like, hits the grenade
48:48
and they're like, Oh my God, this Princess hitting grenade.
48:53
Wouldn't it just explode when the bat hits it?
48:55
I don't know. And that entire time Diesel was
48:58
wearing a purple Unicorn Fanny pack.
49:00
When did the Fanny packs come involved?
49:04
There was 2. That was the most offensive
49:06
part. It there.
49:07
Was a purple. Rainbow, Unicorn and an orange
49:09
Sunshine one. What?
49:10
Where? Where's the collection at?
49:17
Can I? Can I throw in a lovely quote
49:21
from the one and the only Roxy? Yes, stupid vagina and it's Dick
49:26
obsession. Oh.
49:28
Apparently she says the JJ in it.
49:30
And I think I just mentally blanked, muted that out.
49:36
OK, can we talk about why they're getting fucking tattoos?
49:40
What is it with tattoos and books being the worst fucking
49:43
tattoos ever? It was a Blackbird holding a
49:47
knife. This one was a bird sitting on a
49:51
snake. Out of all the things and they
49:53
just covered in snake tattoos. Are you telling me there's like
49:56
1000 snakes on them? Why is the solution to her
50:00
getting turned on Diesel's Dick in her well?
50:04
Garrett's like face to thigh with Diesel's Dick.
50:09
Just amazing. Do you know if you look up pussy
50:13
in the Kindle book, it's in there 187.
50:16
Holy crap. 187. Times.
50:20
I honestly feel bad for the audio narrators.
50:24
Can you imagine getting this job?
50:26
It's too much because imagine telling your friends and family,
50:29
Yeah, I've recorded this book and I'm like, oh, can't wait to
50:32
see your star. And it's just pussy. 187 * I
50:37
Vagina's only in there 10 times. I'm looking at a cock right now.
50:41
Look up Little Bird. Oh, hang on.
50:42
OK, hang on. Clock.
50:44
Cock is in there 301 times. Wow, that's way too much.
50:51
Go. For Little Bird. 263 times.
50:58
No. If you take out all of them,
51:01
words there would be like 2. Chapters I know why is
51:06
something. In there.
51:06
Why is cock in there 301 time? Look up cum.
51:11
You know what? I should look up Orgasms.
51:13
It was in there all the time. Yeah, cum or orgasms?
51:17
26 times. OK, the sex might be excusable
51:22
in this kind of book if there was any kind of B plot, but
51:26
everything, to me, this whole book was just gore porn.
51:29
So if you're into gore porn, this is the book, but there's
51:34
just nothing else going on. There's no character
51:36
development, except if you want to talk about the immediate turn
51:40
at the end where they pretend they're all good people.
51:43
How about the bit at the end where Kenzo's like?
51:46
Thinking about our future and plus little babies.
51:49
But actually, no, we can't have babies because I'm too jealous.
51:52
Diesel's too jealous of children.
51:55
I don't think any of them should have children because if if a
51:57
child is sucking on her tit, Can you imagine they'd throw the
52:00
baby into a wall because they'd be like you're trying to.
52:05
Take. My woman suck my little dad's
52:08
titty like that. You know that that's what's
52:10
going to happen. Why was she so happy with this
52:13
lifestyle? 'Cause they're rich and now she
52:16
doesn't have to work, even though she's only ever worked
52:19
every day of her life. So she's just morally OK with
52:23
everything. She's a bad person.
52:26
Yeah, but who do we root for is what I mean, cause her dad
52:29
shits. You can't root.
52:29
For you root. For no one.
52:31
You literally no one. Because there's bits in there
52:34
where it's like she works out. It's OK for her to kill people.
52:39
And then she's immediately they're like, we better get you
52:42
home so you don't kill someone because you're so hungry.
52:45
There's a bit in there. You know what?
52:47
This book made me feel like I had to do some kind of detox.
52:50
Cleanse religion. Experience reset.
52:53
Go to church. Yoga.
52:54
You can't. Even you can't even step inside
52:56
a church because you'll just sizzle.
52:58
A lot become abstinent, like these are all options that are
53:03
looking kind of good to me. Yeah.
53:05
Because this book took me where I never needed to.
53:09
Go. I'm so sorry I forced you to
53:11
read it. I feel like it was a joint
53:13
decision, but I coerced you for months.
53:16
No, But I wanted to see what all the hype was about.
53:19
No, the hype is that it's terrible.
53:21
If it was up to me, this is a do not finish for sure.
53:24
That's why I did 20 chapters and it didn't make a difference.
53:27
I got to a point. So I got like my Kindle set up
53:30
on its little stand and I got like the page Turner.
53:33
Click it probably just like I was.
53:35
I skimmed a page and I was like, not important.
53:37
It just kept going. Well, if you skimmed this book
53:40
properly, none of it's important.
53:42
None of it's because you just switched to her and she'll have
53:45
sex with someone right after having sex with the one of the
53:47
others. So you're just like, when does
53:49
this sex scene end and. Never ends.
53:52
So besides the knife in the butt, let's just take that one
53:56
out of the equation, yeah? They all started doing anal
54:00
immediately after they said I love you.
54:02
Of course, that's the biggest trope.
54:04
Ever. That's our favorite trope.
54:06
Anal first, then I love you. Yeah.
54:09
Because I got to rest out the Boo hole it was.
54:11
Around the same time, because the anal you only admit to a
54:15
girl you love her after you've been inside her ass.
54:18
Yeah, there's. All the loving stuff started
54:23
coming up around the same time. Interesting.
54:27
It's always around the Boo hole, Time isn't.
54:29
It that booty hole must be a love machine.
54:32
This book was like the never ending story.
54:33
It could have been three books. They could have milked it like
54:37
for people who like it, right? So I understand some people
54:39
liked the way it was written and everything split it up into
54:42
three books. Profit.
54:44
They could have easily done though.
54:46
They could have done the first book 200 pages right.
54:48
Her getting kidnapped is essentially the problem.
54:51
She starts having sex and then the next one could have been
54:54
like her getting kidnapped from the triad and then or the Haram
54:57
proper being Haram. Yeah, like if you're going to
55:00
stay on the sex. Like, you know, because you've
55:01
got to. Yeah.
55:02
And then the next book could have been like, saving her.
55:05
And then after that could have been the little 200 of its
55:09
summarizing. So it's kind of wild.
55:11
The I Love Hughes were getting disgusting by the end because it
55:15
it was just non-stop. Non-stop at the end, so towards
55:19
the end and. I can't remember if this was
55:22
Roxy herself, but it turned into the being this self help pep
55:26
talk. So it was Roxy talking to us as
55:29
the audience and being like you can just be whoever.
55:32
You want to be and like blah blah blah.
55:34
I was like, did I click on to the wrong audio book?
55:37
This is when she's like, I'm a survivor, I'm a fighter and
55:41
she's like, oh, it's OK if your dad's a shit cunt, you can just
55:44
you. Work your way out from there and
55:45
I'm like bitch. The last person on earth I would
55:48
ever take advice for living dead or alive, fictitious or real, is
55:52
you. Sorry.
55:53
But she does it for the men too. She's like Ken, so she's this
55:59
gambling addict and like, but he's fine because he makes.
56:05
Rider. It killed his dad, but it's OK
56:07
because he looks after us all now.
56:09
Garrett used to hate women, but now he's.
56:12
Changed. I'm the only one he doesn't
56:17
Diesel. It's still unbimmed.
56:19
Yeah, it doesn't count if fucking Garrett still hates
56:22
every other woman on the planet and he only succumbed to your
56:27
forceful sexual advances. I feel like he just growls at
56:31
people where he pushes some random chick over in the fight
56:36
thing and everyone laughs at her and I feel like he just was
56:39
like, God okay. So I don't want to sound ageist,
56:45
but let's just stop there. Let's just do it anyway.
56:48
Realistically. Realistically, they're in a
56:50
reverse harm and they're all sexy because they're all in
56:52
their 20s and 30s, you know what I mean?
56:54
Like they're all in that age range.
56:56
What happens when you have none of the character development
57:00
that you guys are having and you're all in your 60s
57:02
seventies? Is that going to still be sexy
57:05
when you're all just insane and you're all in your 60s and she's
57:11
not? Because you know, it's all about
57:12
the sex, right? So they're always like, oh the.
57:15
Little bird with her perfect perky titties.
57:17
And blah blah, but they're on the thing cared.
57:18
About I feel like Diesel's brain is slowly degrading.
57:23
I just feel like they're going to need a new plaything
57:27
eventually, because the whole basis of them liking her was
57:31
practically nothing. Nothing.
57:33
It was just TNA. Yeah, And that she's OK with the
57:37
murder. Yeah.
57:38
It was not really that much to do with who she was as person.
57:42
Just when they're all 60 and not murdering people anymore because
57:45
they've like, surely they're. Not.
57:46
I feel like they'll still do it till they're 100.
57:48
How do they retire from the Mafia?
57:50
I. Don't know.
57:51
They're not having children right at the end of this.
57:54
Book. In the epilogue, they get
57:57
married. Dude, I was going to say this is
57:59
my last note. What the fuck was that ending?
58:01
What the fuck was the rings? What the fuck you're telling me
58:06
that she bought? A little.
58:08
Little. Band with an orange.
58:10
Stone. And flames carved into the side.
58:13
It's not even the worst one. The worst one is the one with
58:16
the fucking dice carved into it. But Ryder was the only one that
58:22
was like a traditional ring. And you're telling me that it is
58:25
OK that Garrett gave you the ring that he gave to his ex?
58:31
That would mean more for her, because it means she's.
58:33
Better. She's not like any other bitch,
58:36
but it's like you literally have another bitch's ring on your
58:38
finger. Where are you putting all these
58:40
rings? For one.
58:42
And the other two, the dice and the flame one, You can't tell me
58:45
they're not little pinky toe rings.
58:48
Yeah, those like are those $5 rings?
58:51
Yeah, plasticky. Who thought that was a good
58:53
idea? It's embarrassing.
58:55
It's embarrassing if someone she was like, oh, look at my rings,
58:58
look at that little really out in public anyway.
59:00
Oh yeah, so she doesn't have to. She does she.
59:02
She doesn't have any family. She doesn't have any friends.
59:05
It just doesn't make sense to me that.
59:07
Well, Ryder makes sense. Garrett is a piece of shit
59:10
anyway, so he's of course going to recycle the shitty ring.
59:14
Why would he spend money on another woman?
59:16
Another female. It's not like he doesn't have
59:18
any other money. Diesel makes sense because he's
59:22
not there in the head, but Kenzo being the most loving
59:26
technically and giving her a little thing with fucking dice
59:29
on it. Just give her a little dice for
59:32
her car, you psycho. No, but she had to look down at
59:36
that ring and remember that it's about him.
59:38
She's got 12 other rings on her finger.
59:40
Family. With snakes on them.
59:43
Why are all of them jealous but all OK to just be sharing this
59:46
chick? I don't know make that make
59:48
sense. It never makes sense because
59:50
they're brothers. There's something disgusting
59:52
about grown men referring to each other as brother every time
59:55
they have a conversation and every time they have shared
59:59
sexual experience. Yeah.
1:00:01
It's 100. And 14 times just it's Take Me
1:00:05
Out of this world. It's too.
1:00:07
Much. Was there anything good about
1:00:09
this book? No, absolutely not.
1:00:12
It was a trash file and I'm ashamed that I've read it twice.
1:00:16
Does it get points, at least for being entertaining, or just?
1:00:19
Is it entertaining though? Or is it?
1:00:22
It's traumatic. It's traumatic.
1:00:24
I felt sick. You know how like things are.
1:00:29
So true, it just stops. There.
1:00:33
You know how things are so trash.
1:00:35
They're good. It's not even that.
1:00:36
It's not even that. It's not even.
1:00:38
That's not even. That it's not Even so great.
1:00:42
Traumatized, just stuck in a loop.
1:00:43
I wouldn't even one star anything like.
1:00:47
This. I actively told someone to
1:00:50
remove this from their Kindle to delete it and they did.
1:00:54
I was like, thank God, because I can't look someone in the face
1:00:57
and know. That we read this material and
1:01:01
it's too many hours of your life that you'll never get back,
1:01:03
never get back like you could learn.
1:01:05
A sentence in the. Language in that amount of time,
1:01:08
like you could become like. You could go to church.
1:01:12
Multiple. Multiple times?
1:01:14
You could. What else?
1:01:16
You could be you could start a whole company A.
1:01:20
Whole business. Yeah.
1:01:21
You could create a whole business plan in that amount of
1:01:23
time you could do so many. Things you could do.
1:01:26
So many look at us being a pep talk.
1:01:28
You can Graduate School at this rate by the time it's done you.
1:01:31
Could have multiple therapy appointments and figure out your
1:01:35
own traumas. You could have sex as as many
1:01:38
times as she. Does consensual sex consensual
1:01:41
happy? Yep, fun, enjoyable sex.
1:01:44
You could run the entire Australia.
1:01:46
Yeah, actually, you could run for Prime Minister.
1:01:50
You could start a campaign. Yeah.
1:01:53
So if just don't read it, there's no need, There's no
1:01:57
need. And if you liked it, liked it,
1:02:00
Dead ass. We can't be friends.
1:02:03
Like. No one cares.
1:02:04
And I'm like, we don't want to be your friend, but.
1:02:08
And also, I'm sending a SWAT card to your house.
1:02:11
It's immediate quality, though there's no quality component.
1:02:15
Yeah, that's not even quality. No, but my friend who has read
1:02:20
it was saying, guess who is my favorite one?
1:02:22
And I was like, Diesel, you sick fuck.
1:02:24
And she was like, Yep. And I'm like, you're insane.
1:02:27
Like, you know what, though? You know what, though?
1:02:30
He is the only male character that's enjoyable to read.
1:02:35
That's the problem. I had an actual character.
1:02:38
I'm pretty sure the writer favoritized him because he
1:02:41
somehow was doing unhinged things.
1:02:44
But when he had his point of view, he was the only normal
1:02:48
person. Yeah, Garrett hated women.
1:02:50
Kenzo. Fuck what he was doing.
1:02:53
And Ryder, which is? Ryder was nothing to me.
1:02:56
He well didn't need to be there. No, it could.
1:02:58
Have been three of them, yeah. It didn't need to be 4, but it's
1:03:01
like clear that they favoritized.
1:03:04
Yeah, diesel. They wanted you to root for
1:03:06
diesel. I don't think Garrett appeals to
1:03:08
anyone. If you liked Garrett, just.
1:03:10
What? You know what?
1:03:12
Diesel was violent, but he wasn't that violent to her,
1:03:15
whereas Garrett was like slamming her into walls and
1:03:17
shit. Yeah, and not caring if she was
1:03:19
gonna die. He was like, oh, she might die.
1:03:23
And actually, I feel like Diesel's the only one that can
1:03:27
be on her feelings. And Kenzo literally raped her at
1:03:30
the start. Like, let's not forget that.
1:03:32
So I I hate the Kenzo redemption.
1:03:34
Or just all of them trying to have a redemption arc at the
1:03:36
end. I was like, absolutely.
1:03:37
Fuck off. Fuck off.
1:03:38
You're the worst. Men, you're going to have like,
1:03:40
a group marriage. Absolutely fuck off.
1:03:42
Because I hate a marriage ending for no reason.
1:03:44
Yeah. And she was only there for six
1:03:48
months. Yeah.
1:03:50
Why have they got a rush all the time these things?
1:03:53
Is there a follow up book or is this a standalone?
1:03:55
A standalone. Oh thank God.
1:03:57
But they do have another book called Court of Nightmares, but
1:04:00
apparently it has 707. Stop it.
1:04:04
I'm going to look. No Court of nightmares.
1:04:06
Fucking book of nightmares. This was already my nightmare,
1:04:11
no? I'm pretty sure I read somewhere
1:04:12
it had seven guys. Yeah.
1:04:14
How do you make seven guys when you couldn't even make 4 work?
1:04:18
These four didn't even have fucking character development.
1:04:21
No, but anyway not. What are we going to rape this
1:04:25
out of? Don't say little birds, because
1:04:28
I can't. We're not doing little birds,
1:04:30
OK? I'm not doing little birds.
1:04:32
It's just too easy. How about?
1:04:34
How many crazy bastards out of five?
1:04:37
0 0 Crazy bastard. I.
1:04:41
Put point. Five, because I didn't know if
1:04:42
we could do zero. Honestly, let's do zero.
1:04:46
It's not quality. Rock bottom it's Yeah.
1:04:48
It was UN enjoyable. There are books where I'll admit
1:04:52
that, yeah, it's trash. Like it's not top tier writing,
1:04:55
but it's enjoyable because it's slightly entertaining.
1:04:58
The Mail is so funny with how toxic they are that it's
1:05:02
entertaining, but I was getting nothing from this.
1:05:04
I think the last 10 chapters took me forever because I was so
1:05:09
hard and I just needed a minute to recover every fucking page.
1:05:14
I want my $4.00 back. I want it back, bitch.
1:05:18
I just want my life back. Yeah, true, us talking about it
1:05:23
is taking more life away from us.
1:05:26
The irony? I'm slowly dehydrating as we
1:05:29
speak. I'm wrinkling.
1:05:33
I'm graying. Yeah, this book is made all the
1:05:36
heck of a Gray. Pussy.
1:05:38
Dry pussy. Never going to recall?
1:05:40
Never having sex again. From the secondary BV just from
1:05:46
reading it. 0 little wait little bastards. 0 crazy bastards out
1:05:55
of my, you went to say. Little birds, it's so on your.
1:05:57
Mind. No, I went to say.
1:05:58
Little bastards. I mixed them together by
1:06:00
accident. Oh, so that's it?
1:06:04
Hey. Yeah.
1:06:05
Nothing else. Nothing else.
1:06:06
We're good. We're out of here.
1:06:08
We're out of here. We're done.
1:06:15
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1:06:18
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1:06:21
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1:06:25
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