Latest / Workplace Confessions: Behind Closed Doors / From a Career in Dance to the Wild West of Yoga

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From a Career in Dance to the Wild West of Yoga · Workplace Confessions: Behind Closed Doors

0:02
SPEAKER_02: Welcome to Workplace Confessions Behind Closed Doors.
0:05
SPEAKER_02: I'm Elsa Barby.
0:06
SPEAKER_02: And I'm Don Andrews.
0:08
SPEAKER_02: We have been friends since sixth grade.
0:10
SPEAKER_02: Somewhere between a car wash job, a few questionable boy choices, and 40 years of friendship, we became the kind of people who always want to know what was really going on, including at work.
0:21
SPEAKER_00: Don spent 25 years as an employment lawyer digging into workplace drama from the inside out.
0:27
SPEAKER_00: I built a long career in the beauty industry as a brand educator with a few TV cameos sprinkled in for fun.
0:33
SPEAKER_02: We came up in very different industries, but we have the same passion.
0:37
SPEAKER_02: Meeting new people and asking how they got their jobs, what they love, what they can't stand, and what happens behind closed doors.
0:45
SPEAKER_00: Every episode we talk to a new guest about their lived experience in the world of work.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: And because our guests stay anonymous, they can spill the truth without the fallout.
0:54
SPEAKER_02: We get into the choices they made, the tiny cruelties, the surprise kindnesses, and some of the moments that never make it into human resources reports.
1:03
SPEAKER_00: Equal Parts Informative and Tiddling.
1:06
SPEAKER_00: This show serves up all the tea while honoring the incredible, complicated, often messy work people are doing across the industries and across the map.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Workplace Confessions Behind Closed Doors.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: Let's get into it.
1:34
SPEAKER_02: But to begin, what was your very first paying job?
1:38
SPEAKER_01: Hi, thanks for having me.
1:40
SPEAKER_01: So my very first paying job, beyond like my parents paying needle-like envelopes for their business, whatever, was I was a receptionist at a pretty high-end hair salon in Silicon Valley, essentially, where I grew up.
1:57
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I was a receptionist.
2:00
SPEAKER_01: And I was, I want to say like a sophomore junior, senior in high school.
2:05
SPEAKER_01: Nice.
2:06
SPEAKER_01: That was my first job.
2:07
SPEAKER_01: And how long did you work there?
2:09
SPEAKER_01: A while, actually, because it ended up being an awesome job.
2:12
SPEAKER_01: I stayed all through high school and there were just a ton of perks, obviously, as you can imagine.
2:18
SPEAKER_01: I got to get all my updues for like prom and homecoming and didn't pay.
2:25
SPEAKER_01: Got to get my hair done.
2:27
SPEAKER_01: And it gave me a lot of cool skills, actually, to take me into college and then into my jobs thereafter, doing that front desk receptionist work.
2:39
SPEAKER_01: So I'll never forget it.
2:41
SPEAKER_01: James Craig hair salon that's still around.
2:45
SPEAKER_02: Excellent.
2:46
SPEAKER_02: All right.
2:46
SPEAKER_02: So tell us what you do now.
2:49
SPEAKER_01: So now I am in the realm of mainly yoga, but I also work in dance, fitness, that whole, it's a few different industries, really, that you could lump all into movement, conscious movement.
3:07
SPEAKER_01: On the yoga side, it's really wellness.
3:10
SPEAKER_01: On the dance side, it's performance art.
3:12
SPEAKER_01: I'm a little retired from that, but I've been dipping my toes back in recently.
3:16
SPEAKER_01: So that's exciting.
3:18
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I would say really in the last 10 years, it's been mainly yoga that I work in.
3:27
SPEAKER_01: And I'm grateful every day that my my young self intuitively guided me.
3:33
SPEAKER_01: That's one of the first things I'll say.
3:35
SPEAKER_01: I am not a conventional person, never have been.
3:38
SPEAKER_01: I definitely took all of those you should, blah, blah, blah, from society.
3:43
SPEAKER_01: And I took it into consideration and I definitely went with some of it, but I did it in a very non-conventional way.
3:50
SPEAKER_01: And some of that was by choice.
3:51
SPEAKER_01: Some of that was not by choice.
3:54
SPEAKER_01: It was like by necessity due to economy at the time when I was graduating college, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
4:00
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I'm a little bit of a rebel.
4:02
SPEAKER_01: I like to do it my way.
4:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's me.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: Tell us about your yoga instructor, your journey of where you're at now.
4:11
SPEAKER_02: How you got from that first job at the hair salon to now.
4:14
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
4:15
SPEAKER_01: I have danced my whole life.
4:17
SPEAKER_01: This is, I tell people now in my former life, I danced professionally, which I did.
4:22
SPEAKER_01: So I, since five years old, did ballet, tap jazz, all that stuff.
4:28
SPEAKER_01: And then went to college and I actually did get my one of my bachelor's degree.
4:34
SPEAKER_01: I got a degree in dance and I got a degree in sociology.
4:37
SPEAKER_01: So basically studying dance in at UC San Diego propelled me into my dance career.
4:45
SPEAKER_01: So I was doing that all through my 20s, alongside me starting to build my yoga career.
4:52
SPEAKER_01: And yoga was something I happened to just fall into.
4:57
SPEAKER_01: I went to a class with a boyfriend of mine at the time who was a couple years older.
5:01
SPEAKER_01: He went to Chico State.
5:03
SPEAKER_01: I went to visit him one day.
5:04
SPEAKER_01: We went to this yoga rep class.
5:08
SPEAKER_01: And the teacher was like some old white guy.
5:11
SPEAKER_01: And he was like, do this pose.
5:13
SPEAKER_01: And I was a dancer.
5:14
SPEAKER_01: So I was like, that's easy.
5:16
SPEAKER_01: And just like flat to the floor.
5:18
SPEAKER_01: And he was like, wow.
5:19
SPEAKER_01: I was like, yeah.
5:21
SPEAKER_01: And basically from there, I was like, I should probably keep doing yoga.
5:25
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
5:26
SPEAKER_01: And it ended up being just a really beautiful journey that went with me right parallel to my dance career.
5:32
SPEAKER_01: So all through my 20s, I was really training and I was really discovering the world of yoga.
5:40
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, training up, went to India, all of that.
5:43
SPEAKER_01: And then when I retired from dancing, like performatively, really, is when I made a decision I was going to really focus on yoga because I also found at that time that was how that was going to be my security, like financially.
5:58
SPEAKER_01: And I just saw a lot of potential and abundance there.
6:01
SPEAKER_01: And my intuition was pretty spot on.
6:03
SPEAKER_01: I'm grateful every day because that that whole next decade, I really focused on that, that wellness aspect of my business and just becoming just really good at teaching yoga and really good at connecting with people through that medium.
6:20
SPEAKER_01: So that takes me to where I am now.
6:23
SPEAKER_01: And my yoga business is just thriving.
6:26
SPEAKER_01: It's at the point where I have to just actively be saying no to a lot of things at this point.
6:30
SPEAKER_00: What is all that entails in becoming?
6:32
SPEAKER_00: Is it a level type deal?
6:34
SPEAKER_00: Are there different tiers in being a yoga instructor?
6:36
SPEAKER_00: Can you talk a little bit more about that?
6:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's very layered and there are a lot of misconceptions.
6:43
SPEAKER_01: So I would be happy to clear up some of those as they come up.
6:47
SPEAKER_01: But basically, yoga as an industry is beautiful in one sense.
6:56
SPEAKER_01: It's very open and free, but also due to that, it's a hot freaking mess.
7:03
SPEAKER_01: We call it the Wild West.
7:05
SPEAKER_01: It's like free market capitalism, like on steroids.
7:10
SPEAKER_01: So again, yeah, there's like a lot of freedom, which is good and has served me too in a lot of ways.
7:16
SPEAKER_01: However, there's just really barely any regulation.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: There's basically no regulation.
7:22
SPEAKER_01: The accrediting bodies that do exist are mediocre at best.
7:28
SPEAKER_01: Really, I have a much worse opinion of them.
7:30
SPEAKER_01: So it's really on the individual teacher, is what I would say.
7:36
SPEAKER_01: And if you're good and you're willing to go the distance and keep continuing your education and broaden what you can offer, or even find a niche that you can then get really good at and then broaden those offerings, that can get you to that high tier where you're then able to really command a very solid hourly wage or whatever it is.
8:01
SPEAKER_01: But it takes time to get there.
8:03
SPEAKER_01: It's not an accelerated path.
8:05
SPEAKER_01: You start at the bottom like everybody, and you show up and you prove your worth, basically.
8:12
SPEAKER_01: You prove not only how good you are at teaching yoga, but a big part of it is really just how good you are with people.
8:19
SPEAKER_01: And my dance background helped me a lot in a way because I am a lifelong performer.
8:28
SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, I tell people I'm not performing anymore in my yoga.
8:32
SPEAKER_01: But inevitably, anytime a teacher has to get up in front of a group, there is an element of that.
8:38
SPEAKER_01: So I got really good at that.
8:41
SPEAKER_01: And I got really good.
8:42
SPEAKER_01: I'm also just a very social person, and I've always loved people and working with people.
8:47
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I just think yoga teachers start at the bottom, taking the shit sex 6 a.m., 7 p.m.
8:56
SPEAKER_01: million hot a day, whatever.
8:59
SPEAKER_01: And then you just refine and you put in your time and you hone your skills.
9:03
SPEAKER_01: This is like any industry, obviously, right?
9:06
SPEAKER_01: Every industry is like this.
9:08
SPEAKER_01: And you, but you come out on top all of your own will, really.
9:14
SPEAKER_01: There's not really anybody else helping you out.
9:18
SPEAKER_01: You might have a home ship studio like that's supporting you, but it's still at the end of the day, it's really gonna be on you, the yoga teacher, to prove that what you're worth, how good you are.
9:33
SPEAKER_01: I think even more than a lot of those other conventional like industries where I feel like it's just standard.
9:40
SPEAKER_01: Every six months, every year, you're getting a raise, you're moving up the corporate ladder, whatever it is.
9:45
SPEAKER_01: Of course, we still have to prove yourself, but I feel like it's more not guaranteed.
9:50
SPEAKER_01: I want to be careful with anything that I say because I feel like nothing is guaranteed anymore in this time that we're in, no matter the industry or the job.
9:58
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, again, I'm just rambling.
10:02
SPEAKER_00: I don't even know if I'm answering your questions, but are there certifications that one has to achieve in order to be able to certain types of classes?
10:11
SPEAKER_00: Or is it just if your class is full, then you go up?
10:14
SPEAKER_00: Yes, all of that.
10:16
SPEAKER_01: All of that.
10:17
SPEAKER_01: There are trainings and certifications that are necessary and crucial.
10:23
SPEAKER_01: So, yes, there's all of that.
10:25
SPEAKER_01: And to get up the tier to the best pay and the most freedom too in your lifestyle and your work schedule.
10:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you got to put in the time.
10:35
SPEAKER_01: You have to do the hours, and which is why, like the accrediting bodies, in my opinion, I think are a joke.
10:41
SPEAKER_01: Like yoga alliance in the yoga industry, whatever, they're like 500 hour, that's like the tip of the iceberg.
10:51
SPEAKER_01: 500 hour and that's it.
10:53
SPEAKER_01: 500 hour, that's again, it's a very small amount of training hours.
10:59
SPEAKER_01: So every teacher, I think, that really wants to be successful in the long term, that where it has sustainability and it's not just the charisma of your personality, or it's not just how hard can I work, people.
11:12
SPEAKER_01: Like that's this is actually gonna be a sustainable thing that you can do over the course of 20 years, which is what I'm approaching.
11:18
SPEAKER_01: 20 years.
11:19
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you have to do the continuing education that nobody's gonna tell you that you have to do, that nobody's gonna pay for it, even if these big studios should be in some form, in my opinion.
11:31
SPEAKER_01: They're not, because it's just not how it's set up right now.
11:35
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, it's really it's a very individual deal.
11:40
SPEAKER_00: What surprised you most about being a yoga instructor that you didn't realize that you were gonna wanted to?
11:47
SPEAKER_01: I certainly didn't go to college being like, I'm gonna teach yoga.
11:50
SPEAKER_01: And then when I told my dad after graduating, because so I graduated at the end of Oh, really great time for our economy, if you remember.
11:58
SPEAKER_01: Such a great time to be a young millennial entering the workforce, real fun.
12:04
SPEAKER_01: So basically, it just wasn't there was just not a lot of good options.
12:08
SPEAKER_01: So I was like, rather than me struggling doing these like interviews and whatever, like, I'm just I'm already dancing, I'm already getting into yoga.
12:19
SPEAKER_01: People are already asking me to teach yoga.
12:21
SPEAKER_01: I don't even have a certification yet, but they're like, whoa, you're good, teach, because again, Wild West, that's how it was back in those days.
12:28
SPEAKER_01: You could teach hot, set sequence yoga without even having your 200-hour certification.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: It ended up being so transformational and so fruitful and abundant.
12:43
SPEAKER_01: Again, not just in that way we always think about with a job like money that I'm earning.
12:49
SPEAKER_01: That came a little bit later, but fruitful in the sense of the cannot I made, the travel that I got to do.
12:56
SPEAKER_01: That was also happening in dance.
12:58
SPEAKER_01: They were very much parallel with one another.
13:00
SPEAKER_01: So the traveling, I would say, even more started for me with dancing.
13:05
SPEAKER_01: And then the yoga kind of added on to that.
13:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, maybe I just didn't realize that I am a healer, and not in the sense of I'm gonna give you a massage and heal you.
13:16
SPEAKER_01: That's not what I do.
13:17
SPEAKER_01: I am gonna use my hands.
13:19
SPEAKER_01: There is that physically, yes, but also so much more mentally, emotionally, energetically, spiritually.
13:28
SPEAKER_01: Yoga is so healing and transformational beyond what we can even conceive, really.
13:35
SPEAKER_01: So maybe that's what I find surprising is that I didn't realize or know that I was gonna be a healer in that way through yoga.
13:45
SPEAKER_02: That's great.
13:46
SPEAKER_02: That's great.
13:46
SPEAKER_01: What's the best thing about the job?
13:49
SPEAKER_01: Best thing about the job is definitely the lifestyle, staying healthy because it's what you teach.
13:55
SPEAKER_01: So it's what you should embody and what you should emulate yourself.
14:00
SPEAKER_01: So I think that's one of the best things about it is just that a constant reminder that we are we're here to get better and not just get stuck in our patterns and habits and not be aware of why we do the things that we do the way that we do them, and then get frustrated that we keep getting the same results doing the same thing.
14:22
SPEAKER_01: So it's the continual growth that I get through being very engaged in the practice.
14:29
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, staying healthy.
14:32
SPEAKER_01: Look, I can still burn out.
14:35
SPEAKER_01: I've done it.
14:36
SPEAKER_01: I still ensure it.
14:39
SPEAKER_01: I'm much better now at recognizing when I'm getting closer to that place and I'm able to like becoming a mother actually really helped me a lot with not doing that anymore professionally because I just literally can't.
14:51
SPEAKER_01: You just can't, you will not survive.
14:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think that's what I love the most about it is the lifestyle, being healthy, being fit, having tools to stay centered, grounded, mentally well.
15:06
SPEAKER_01: And the people, because I that's like a deep part of my philosophy.
15:12
SPEAKER_01: None of us heal or change in a vacuum by ourselves.
15:15
SPEAKER_01: None of us should be doing this alone by ourselves.
15:18
SPEAKER_01: It's too much.
15:20
SPEAKER_01: American society is reflecting majorly, I think, the big need for change and how we need to come together in a more of a collective fashion and get out of this individualistic mode.
15:32
SPEAKER_01: Not to lose it entirely, but just to realize how much more we can get from each other and when we all pool our resources and come together, whatever the resources are.
15:42
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I think that's what I love most about it the wellness, the lifestyle, the community, the people.
15:50
SPEAKER_01: I like to help people.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: On the flip side, what is the hardest part about your job?
15:57
SPEAKER_00: The hardest part.
16:02
SPEAKER_01: Okay, there's a few things.
16:04
SPEAKER_01: I guess I just have to be really honest on what I think it is for most teachers.
16:09
SPEAKER_01: And it is the financial piece because, like I said, it just takes quite a bit of time to build your practice and your community and your reputation, and that people know you and trust you and want to pay you money for what you offer.
16:26
SPEAKER_01: It just takes quite a bit of time, I think, to get to that place.
16:31
SPEAKER_01: Again, especially if you're gonna do it in that sustainable way.
16:34
SPEAKER_01: That isn't I'm just relying on my charisma, or I'm just relying on I'm a cute 20-something year old, whatever, or the hard workout, whatever it is, or even the super soft practice, like so that is hard.
16:50
SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, people value your their wellness so much as the wellness industry is bigger than pharma at this big pharma at this point.
16:59
SPEAKER_01: It is huge.
17:01
SPEAKER_01: There is a lot of money, but do you think it's going to the people who are offering it?
17:09
SPEAKER_01: No.
17:10
SPEAKER_01: So I just feel like it would be wrong of me to not acknowledge.
17:13
SPEAKER_01: Although I think for me personally, finally at this point, and I really worked hard to get there.
17:19
SPEAKER_01: It's still a thing, but it's not the prime thing necessarily.
17:23
SPEAKER_01: It's just getting people to realize that yoga teachers and people who work in wellness or even group fitness, whatever it is, deserve a lot more pay, better pay, and through that, more respect.
17:37
SPEAKER_01: What's a myth people believe about your job that drives you nuts?
17:40
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
17:42
SPEAKER_01: This this triggers me, especially now because I think I've worked so hard to get to a good place where and it's on my own terms and with my schedule and my lifestyle, which means it is not 40 hours a week.
17:54
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
17:55
SPEAKER_01: The myth is that yoga teachers are impoverished.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: And that basically that's the myth.
18:04
SPEAKER_01: That we are poor losers, essentially.
18:08
SPEAKER_01: And that's why we chose yoga, because oh, because of the giving of our hearts, we should just be impoverished and help everybody else.
18:20
SPEAKER_01: That is bullshit.
18:21
SPEAKER_01: And that is a myth.
18:22
SPEAKER_01: First of all, that is even a thing that would be okay, is a myth.
18:26
SPEAKER_01: That is not okay.
18:28
SPEAKER_01: Second of all, that's just not true.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: Like I said, the wellness industry is big.
18:35
SPEAKER_01: It is so huge.
18:36
SPEAKER_01: There are so there's so much opportunity.
18:39
SPEAKER_01: There are so many companies and just things happening on big scale, small scale, corporate scale, more local scale, whatever.
18:49
SPEAKER_01: So if you're smart and you strategize right and you do your continuing education, like I spoke to, and you just stay disciplined, do your own practice, not lose that, you can do really well.
19:03
SPEAKER_01: You can make six figures.
19:05
SPEAKER_01: You totally can.
19:06
SPEAKER_01: I could wave a magic wand.
19:08
SPEAKER_01: I would just legitimize the profession so that it could get more respect and value that it deserves.
19:17
SPEAKER_01: And that teachers could, yes, come together and unionize essentially to bargain for more power back to the workers.
19:26
SPEAKER_01: Obviously, this is a trend happening everywhere in our whole country, so desperately needed.
19:30
SPEAKER_01: Out of the corporate executive C-suite.
19:35
SPEAKER_01: You have enough, I'm pretty sure.
19:37
SPEAKER_01: C-suite people, thank you.
19:39
SPEAKER_01: Give back to your people who are actually delivering the goods and the services.
19:45
SPEAKER_01: Again, I don't really consider yoga a service, by the way.
19:48
SPEAKER_01: I see it a little, I see it more as education.
19:51
SPEAKER_01: But that's what I would do with a wand.
19:54
SPEAKER_01: I would just give a lot more of the money back to the teachers and give them more protections and benefits so they could, yeah, just live, live a good life like everybody deserves.
20:06
SPEAKER_01: Also, because teaching yoga by nature, like teachers, like any caregiver or whatever it is, you're so attentive to other people.
20:17
SPEAKER_01: You are helping other people, you are taking care of other people, you are holding space for other people.
20:23
SPEAKER_01: It's a lot.
20:24
SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I would wave my magic wand to pay better and give more benefits and protections for those people who give so much to others.
20:37
SPEAKER_00: Then let's get into the dirt then.
20:39
SPEAKER_00: So let's see how infuriating you are.
20:42
SPEAKER_01: Oh God.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: Brace yourselves.
20:45
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
20:46
SPEAKER_00: So let's here's the question.
20:47
SPEAKER_00: Here's the question for you.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: Okay, now this is the juicy part.
20:52
SPEAKER_00: What's the wildest, weirdest, or most unforgettable thing you've ever witnessed at work?
20:57
SPEAKER_01: I think that was the wildest, kind of roughest ride was having to work closely with somebody I saw doing unethical things and saying wrong things, and then having to be like, This is the example.
21:12
SPEAKER_01: No, this is not the example.
21:16
SPEAKER_01: And I will have to create a boundary and remove myself a little bit from the person because that is not the way I will be doing this.
21:25
SPEAKER_01: That's not the way I see yoga.
21:28
SPEAKER_01: So, an example, okay.
21:30
SPEAKER_01: This is just one example of an action that was pretty wild, in my opinion.
21:36
SPEAKER_01: But I'm demoing a posture in the center of a big circle because I'm teaching the mechanics and the alignment and the technique of the posture.
21:46
SPEAKER_01: And sometimes certain yoga postures, there's different ways to look at it and approach it.
21:51
SPEAKER_01: But the body is a body, whatever.
21:53
SPEAKER_01: We all have bodies, we all have body parts, like, but whatever.
21:56
SPEAKER_01: It's not that if you're a dancer like I am, it's like you don't.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: See a body and think sex, nudity, that's just not where your head goes.
22:05
SPEAKER_01: Because as a dancer, I'm trained to see the body as just like a tool for art and aesthetic.
22:11
SPEAKER_01: But I think, again, like in America, we have this kind of warped perception of the body and sex and all.
22:20
SPEAKER_01: It's because we maybe we don't talk openly enough about it.
22:23
SPEAKER_01: I don't know, whatever.
22:23
SPEAKER_01: We're a little different here in California, but generally.
22:27
SPEAKER_01: So anyway, yoga is a hotbed for this topic, especially around the Me Too era.
22:32
SPEAKER_01: We were having so many good, juicy conversations about this.
22:35
SPEAKER_01: And then COVID happened and it kind of disappeared, sadly.
22:38
SPEAKER_01: But I was in the center of a circle, demoing a posture that was a forward folding, wide-legged forward folding, standing pose.
22:49
SPEAKER_01: So my ass was up.
22:50
SPEAKER_01: It was just right there for the taking.
22:52
SPEAKER_01: If somebody wanted to be a pervert and do that, okay.
22:57
SPEAKER_01: So the person who I was working with, who was really in the leadership position above me, but we were both leaders, basically just walked in the middle as I was teaching and just smacked my ass really hard and then walked through and walked out.
23:14
SPEAKER_01: Now, this was a woman.
23:16
SPEAKER_01: So okay.
23:19
SPEAKER_01: Whatever.
23:21
SPEAKER_01: Man, woman, it doesn't matter.
23:23
SPEAKER_01: In that moment, I was I wasn't that embarrassed or mortified because again, I don't really care, but I care, but it was more just the principle of it.
23:34
SPEAKER_01: I don't think I was that personally hurt or offended or embarrassed, but it was like that's not cool and that's not appropriate, and you shouldn't be doing that, and you should not be showing our teacher trainees that something like that is acceptable and okay, and that it's funny and cute because it's not.
23:56
SPEAKER_01: It was a bit of a power play, too.
23:59
SPEAKER_01: I felt yeah, it was a little bit of a I don't know that it felt that way to me.
24:05
SPEAKER_01: That was just uh an example of one of the actions of the bigger topic of what I think was the wildest, most wrong, shitty thing that I had to be in the middle of that caused me just some inner turmoil and anguish over a period of time because this wasn't just a week, it was a number of years.
24:25
SPEAKER_01: But I guess in a way it was good because it really opened up my eyes to the fact that people in positions of power will abuse their power, sadly, if they are not doing the work themselves or being really true and authentic to yoga and the philosophies and the principles and the tenets of what yoga really is, in essence.
24:48
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, just the disappointment of that, and then having to, and the little example I gave you was a small snippet.
24:55
SPEAKER_01: There was another bigger thing that happened where I actually really got cornered in a parking lot.
25:03
SPEAKER_01: It was so fucked up.
25:04
SPEAKER_01: I can't so fucked up, yeah.
25:08
SPEAKER_01: So that was like a cornering thing, trying to put me in my place thing didn't work out because if you know anything about me, I am a badass bitch and I will stand up for myself and I will hold my ground and I'm not scared of anybody.
25:23
SPEAKER_01: So it didn't really work out for her, unfortunately for her, but it gave me just even more evidence that this person is drunk, and this is not yoga.
25:40
SPEAKER_02: Have you ever had a student come on to you or develop like a crush?
25:46
SPEAKER_02: And how do you deal with that?
25:48
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
25:52
SPEAKER_01: Many times I've done poorly with that, and I've learned.
25:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I've not had boundaries before, and maybe in particular when I was in my 20s and I was young, and we weren't talking about this as much, maybe in the industry at that time, about student teacher boundaries and stuff like that, and whatever.
26:14
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, I absolutely have.
26:16
SPEAKER_01: I've had to turn down a many, and then like one relationship that I definitely got into in my mid-20s was a student at yoga, and then that developed.
26:32
SPEAKER_01: It was messy at the end for sure.
26:35
SPEAKER_01: And I can't say that's it's not the fault of like us meeting through yoga, that was just who we was as a person.
26:42
SPEAKER_01: So I don't know, like I don't think it was really.
26:48
SPEAKER_01: I don't think it should be not allowed for a student and a teacher if there's attraction to explore that, maybe just has to be like really well thought out and then approached, obviously, not in the workplace, or that's always a sticky topic, right?
27:10
SPEAKER_01: Because who am I to tell who who to love, or who are any of us to tell who you can and can't love, right?
27:16
SPEAKER_01: But in the aftermath of the breakup of that relationship a year later, the breakup was messy.
27:25
SPEAKER_01: So, what that ended up creating was mess at work because there were just the feelings, and the person was still coming around.
27:37
SPEAKER_01: This was a little bit of a weird person.
27:39
SPEAKER_01: So I think nor more normal people would not continue to come back to the studio that I teach at and avoid me and do weird things and like make try to make friends with my friends and whatever, flirt with the front desk people.
27:54
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, that that was I created that situation and then I learned that wasn't fun.
28:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
28:03
SPEAKER_02: What about have you had students try to make you their guru?
28:09
SPEAKER_01: Yes, but I don't think I ever accepted that title or role, so I don't think it ever really I don't think they ever really had a chance to actually really but yes, they've called me that, and yeah, it never goes too deep because of what I experienced, what I spoke to just a little bit ago, and I guess just my personality and who I am.
28:38
SPEAKER_01: And I have had that that is hard.
28:42
SPEAKER_01: That's actually a hard thing about being a yoga teacher because of course you want your students to love you, you want your students to show up to all your offerings and continue to pay you over the course of time to do all and learn and grow with you.
28:56
SPEAKER_01: And I have a lot of students who do that, and it's amazing, it's fabulous.
29:00
SPEAKER_01: And I have had, yes, man, I hate that.
29:05
SPEAKER_01: It sucks.
29:06
SPEAKER_01: This is where I help I could, I wish I could help those students because sometimes they fall in hard fast, and there's an infatuation, and then you're on a pedestal, you're perfect, they depend on you, they build these associations with you, and then the moment you're either human, make a mistake, or you do something that they didn't expect.
29:38
SPEAKER_01: I had a private client who did all those things, and then my family and I decided we're gonna go and move to Europe for a year, and that was just like rocked the boat, and then it just it became it was like a first it was okay, but then it was really not okay, to the point that when I did come back, I just got cut off.
30:04
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
30:05
SPEAKER_00: For our listeners who don't know anything about yoga, a guru in the yoga world.
30:11
SPEAKER_01: So a guru is that Sanskrit word for teacher, basically.
30:16
SPEAKER_01: It's like the guru is the all-knowing master who dispenses the information and knowledge, and there's no other way you're gonna get it, but through the guru.
30:27
SPEAKER_01: So in the Indian lineages and such, the guru is really important.
30:32
SPEAKER_01: It's really top.
30:36
SPEAKER_01: It's basically a master teacher, if we can put it in our terms a little more.
30:41
SPEAKER_01: It's a master teacher.
30:43
SPEAKER_01: So it's a good thing.
30:45
SPEAKER_01: The problem is like what I spoke to earlier, is the power, right?
30:50
SPEAKER_01: So sometimes gurus, master teachers, abuse their power with people who are vulnerable and seeking and looking up to them and maybe having rose-colored glasses on.
31:03
SPEAKER_01: But what I had just described to you more was more the flip side of that, where I feel a little more what I've experienced is students getting attached to me.
31:12
SPEAKER_01: Uh, and then basically setting me up to fail because I'm going to disappoint them at some point.
31:20
SPEAKER_01: It could be over something minor or it could be something bigger, whatever.
31:26
SPEAKER_01: Maybe I choose a direction of my teaching that they're not really driving with anymore.
31:30
SPEAKER_01: Uh, whatever.
31:31
SPEAKER_01: I feel like that's more what I've experienced, which has been emotionally a little bit hard.
31:36
SPEAKER_01: I think I'm getting much better at it, but is yeah, having that little bit of that infatuation period.
31:46
SPEAKER_01: And then the drop off.
31:50
SPEAKER_01: Like, what?
31:51
SPEAKER_01: You're just not gonna even show up to class anymore at all.
31:54
SPEAKER_01: You're just not even gonna respond to me.
31:56
SPEAKER_01: Okay, cool.
31:59
SPEAKER_01: What did you see so much in me anyway?
32:01
SPEAKER_01: Like, whatever.
32:02
SPEAKER_01: But again, that wasn't great.
32:05
SPEAKER_01: But then sometimes I have to check myself because my ego gets involved too, and my personal feelings get involved.
32:11
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, we're all human, we're all fucking up, we're all figuring it out.
32:17
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, the guru thing is tricky because also in yoga, it's just stickier because it's such an internal practice, and your heart is involved, and your soul is involved, and your whole being.
32:30
SPEAKER_01: So it's understandable actually that students become in awe and sometimes build the teacher up to be more than what they should really be doing because maybe they have facilitated some really amazing changes for them.
32:49
SPEAKER_01: At the end of the day, everybody needs to remember that they're the ones making the change and they're the only ones who can do it.
32:55
SPEAKER_01: You should always, of course, respect your teachers and be so grateful and to have like a figure in your life that you can continually go back to and study with is very important.
33:06
SPEAKER_01: I'm seeking that in my life, and I've always had that, and I continue to seek it.
33:11
SPEAKER_01: Like an older woman in particular is what I'm looking always looking for.
33:15
SPEAKER_00: What do you do to recharge?
33:18
SPEAKER_01: My practice.
33:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I do my yoga, and that is one of the biggest things that I see yoga teachers not doing, which really concerns me.
33:30
SPEAKER_01: Part of it I really understand, especially if now look, a lot of teachers don't need to do it as their full-time job.
33:40
SPEAKER_01: Maybe they already have a job that's pays the bills and they're able to do yoga just on the side or make a slow transition, or they have a partner at home who brings home the dough, so it's not as imperative, right?
33:56
SPEAKER_01: That's different.
33:57
SPEAKER_01: But people like yeah, would have been my case, and plenty of other teachers that I know.
34:03
SPEAKER_01: Nobody's giving us anything, so we have to work for what we have.
34:06
SPEAKER_01: And you have to, because it's not valued enough, especially in the beginning, when you're just getting your chops, you have to teach so much.
34:15
SPEAKER_01: So you it's so quick and easy to burn out because you have to just teach and give so freaking much.
34:22
SPEAKER_01: Maybe other ways that aren't related to work is just yeah, I travel, so I piece out.
34:27
SPEAKER_01: I gotta piece out a few times a year, just straight up.
34:30
SPEAKER_01: Bye.
34:30
SPEAKER_01: I'm out, and I gotta go to another country or another state, or just get in my travel mode because that's also an essence of who I am.
34:39
SPEAKER_01: And nature and music, art, food.
34:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
34:44
SPEAKER_00: Awesome.
34:46
SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you so much for being such a fantastic guest.
34:49
SPEAKER_00: And hopefully this hopefully this debunks any myths or any perceptions of what a yoga teacher is actually all about.
34:57
SPEAKER_00: And with that, we want to thank you for sharing your story with us.
35:00
SPEAKER_00: You've officially joined the ranks of the brave and the bold.
35:04
SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for being a fantastic guest.
35:08
SPEAKER_02: That's it for this week's confession.
35:10
SPEAKER_00: We've laughed, cringed, and maybe questioned our own career choices.
35:15
SPEAKER_00: Big thanks to our anonymous guest for keeping it real and reminding us that behind every job title is a story worth telling.
35:21
SPEAKER_00: If you've got a workplace confession of your own, we're all ears.
35:24
SPEAKER_00: Hit us up at our email address.
35:26
SPEAKER_00: And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share.
35:29
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35:32
SPEAKER_02: Until next time, keep your badge clicked, your coffee strong, and your stories wild.
35:37
SPEAKER_02: This is Workplace Confessions Behind Closed Doors.