Latest / I Do, Part 2 / New England Patriots Coach Will Skip Final Day of NFL Draft…. For THERAPY

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New England Patriots Coach Will Skip Final Day of NFL Draft…. For THERAPY · I Do, Part 2

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hey, the folks. It is Thursday, April twenty third, and
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: what an eventful week for Patriots head coach Mike Rabel.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Started with the press conference, it's gonna end with the
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: draft and after that counseling, and with that, welcome to
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: this episode of Amy and TJY. Did we see this
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: when coming robes counseling?
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: No, because I thought that the way it was revealed,
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: he needed to just say, Yep, I've had those difficult
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: conversations with my family and with my team, and that's
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: going to remain private and onwards and upwards, moving on. Yeah,
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: and that's I mean, basically the culture of sports played
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: at this level. When you have a winning coach with
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: a winning team, he can kind of do no wrong,
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: including some of his high profile players. So that's just
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: the way the NFL works. That's how it was explained
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: to me by you.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Short of a crime. Short of a crime, right, so
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: we see bad behavior and whatever. I don't want to
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: classified as that, but yes, to your point, yes, there's
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: a very high bar for losing your job in the NFL.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: He said what he said, coach Mike Crable. But to
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: your point, now, it's a little surprising perhaps that he's
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: come out and said more, which includes he's gonna miss
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Robes one day of the all important draft that starts today.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: And to your point, this has nothing to do with
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: his status as a football coach, how he's regarded as
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: the head coach of the Patriots. This has nothing to
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: do with sports fans, or his players or the NFL.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: This has everything to do with his private life because
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: no one is even investigating him. He really didn't have
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: to say another word about it, and he certainly didn't
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: have to go on any sort of PR campaign to
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: refurbish his his reputation because, as you point out, it's
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: not that big of a deal in the sports world.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: No, but he has come out now, and you're this
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: wasn't necessarily Maybe this wasn't PR, This wasn't the NFL
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: forcing him to do this. This isn't the Patriots forcing
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: him to do this. Might be somebody much closer.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: To him who's been, you know, perhaps by his side
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: for the past twenty six years. In counting his wife
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: jan Yes, yes, they were married in nineteen ninety nine,
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: so this would be I don't know when their exact
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: anniversary date is, but this would be the twenty seventh
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: year of their marriage. They have two adult sons who
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: are in their twenties. And I just the way it
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: was left on Tuesday when he made that statement, it
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: seemed like he was kind of dusting his hands of
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: the situation and moving on. So this was surprising, and
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: to me, the only explanation would be this is personal.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and he had Yes. Quite possibly it's personal role
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: as well. It's not a reading the tea leave situation
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: here necessarily fairly obvious. He was seen in pictures that
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: are clear to anyone go beyond two people who are
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: work colleagues. Right, they're much friendlier than that. I'm not
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: going to sign anything else to it. They've made their
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: statements about it. He is discussed rogues reading between those lines.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: He said flat out that he wasn't setting a good example.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: He had difficult conversations with his family and with his team.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: So they've essentially said there was some shenanigans going on.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Is that fair? I want to be a airy yes.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Because the NFL reporter also who was involved with this,
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Diana Rossini, she resigned her position because she didn't want
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: to be subjected to the continuing scrutiny that was going
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: on within the New York Times, the athletic, the narrative,
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: the episode, she called it too, which I thought was strange.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: So she removed herself from the conversation by leaving her position.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: But you wouldn't do that if nothing had happened that
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: was even potentially unseeming. So and he wouldn't have made
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: these statements, and he certainly wouldn't have announced he was
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: going to counseling if something hadn't happened. So neither one
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: of them have outwardly overtly acknowledge that there was an
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: affair or there was an inappropriate relationship. But it can
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: be I think, very very much so inferred by their
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: actions and their statements.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: Yes, and again that is their business, yes, out there now.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: But they have made some statements, and she has her
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  Speaker 1: resignation letter that rose made this rise to a level
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: of them speaking on it, so we can speak on
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: what they have said about it. But outside of that,
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  Speaker 1: neither one of these two right rogues have admitted to
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: no neither one of them stepping out publicly their spouses.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: So they can do whatever they that is their business period.
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  Speaker 2: I have a question for you, how big of a deal.
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  Speaker 2: Is it for the New England Patriots head coach to
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  Speaker 2: miss the third day of the NFL Draft when they
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  Speaker 2: have eleven selections in total and eight of them are
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  Speaker 2: on that third day? Does that matter? How big of
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  Speaker 2: a deal is this?
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  Speaker 1: I don't think it rises to that big a level.
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  Speaker 1: The third day is not the most watch day, not
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: the most important day. There's a lot of deals being
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  Speaker 1: made that he needs to be a part of, and
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: he can continue to be a part of. But the
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  Speaker 1: third day of the draft is not the big the
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: biggest event as far as deals being made and changing
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: your team his absence, So are they got between the recruits?
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: So not recruits but scouts and the owner and GMS
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  Speaker 1: and all this stuff making deals. The team is not
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: going to miss out.
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  Speaker 2: That's fine, But why, this is my question. He could
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: have just as easily started counseling on Monday or next weekend.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: Is there any reason why?
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: You know the answer?
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  Speaker 2: Things get even more He didn't complicated if he were
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: to wait or put off that therapy. Is there any
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  Speaker 2: reason why, from a football scheduling standpoint, he needed to
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: start his therapy on Saturday?
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  Speaker 1: You know the answer? It gives him one less day
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  Speaker 1: to have to walk around with his head down in
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  Speaker 1: shame at the biggest event the NFL has outside of
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: the Super Bowl, and.
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  Speaker 2: It looks like he's doing something about a problem he
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  Speaker 2: is implying he has.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, and keep stacking it up there robes. Now, it's
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: so important to him to do that that he's willing
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  Speaker 1: to miss this important thing. It keeps him out of
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  Speaker 1: the media circus for a full.
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  Speaker 2: Saturday, and it also might keep him in better graces
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  Speaker 2: with his wife and his wife and his children possibly possibly.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: And don't know what kind of counseling. I haven't seen
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  Speaker 1: anything specific right now.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: No, And a lot of people have asked, Okay, he's
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: going we'll give you his exact statement in just a moment,
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  Speaker 2: But no, it was not specific. Is this sex addiction?
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  Speaker 2: Is this just a mental health situation? Is this something else?
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  Speaker 2: We don't know. There were no specifics given as to
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: the type of counseling. If he's checking himself into a facility,
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  Speaker 2: if he's doing an outpatient We have no idea on
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  Speaker 2: the details as of yet.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: And why that counseling starts on.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: A Saturday exactly. That was my question. Let's go ahead
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: and read for you what Mike Rabel had to say
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: in his official statement saying that he was going to
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  Speaker 2: miss the third day. As I said the other day,
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  Speaker 2: I promised my family, this organization, and this team that
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: I was going to give them the best version of
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: me that I can possibly give them. In order to
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: do so, I have committed to seeking counseling starting this weekend.
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  Speaker 2: This is something that I have given a lot of
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  Speaker 2: thought to and to something I would advise a player
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  Speaker 2: to do if I was counseling them. I have always
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  Speaker 2: wanted to lead by example, and I believe this is
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: what I have to do to be the best husband, father,
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  Speaker 2: and coach that I can possibly be. This is not
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  Speaker 2: an easy thing for me to admit, but it is
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  Speaker 2: one that I know will make me a better person.
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  Speaker 2: I appreciate the support that everyone has given me and
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: promise a stronger resolve as a result. And I do
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  Speaker 2: think it's interesting. He pointed out the order in which
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  Speaker 2: he said he wanted to improve himself to be the
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  Speaker 2: best husband number one, father, number two, coach number three.
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  Speaker 2: That was the right order for that.
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  Speaker 1: Was that was exactly the right order. Look, it's it's
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  Speaker 1: this is a mess. I hate people's I hate he.
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  Speaker 1: I don't know where I am know this. Sometimes rome's
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: because people's personal lives get exposed, thrown out there without
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: context of what's going on in their lives. So everybody
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  Speaker 1: can obviously just jump and say this person's doing this,
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: that and everything else. I just do not know, and
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  Speaker 1: I don't know him, I don't know her. There is
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: no judgment anybody can give, and all there is right
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: now Robe is just pictures. And he knows as the
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  Speaker 1: head of the New England Patriots coach that is a
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  Speaker 1: high profile position, not just as a representative of that
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  Speaker 1: team role, but a representative of the NFL. That is
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  Speaker 1: a storied franchise. At this point, the head, the face
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  Speaker 1: of that needs to be in better public graces. The
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  Speaker 1: NFL would argue, then this puts him in.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, but they have not said one word. In fact,
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: the only thing they've given is support. They've thrown their
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: support to him. They've made it very clear there's no
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: investigation into his actions off the field, and so this
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  Speaker 2: was purely voluntary. This was not imposed in any way.
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  Speaker 2: And look, we've never heard him apologize. That is not
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: publicly sure. And look, I'm not saying in any way
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  Speaker 2: he owes any one of us, the public, or his
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: even his team. He doesn't owe anyone an apology other
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  Speaker 2: than possibly his wife, which he said those conversations will
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: remain private, which clearly they should. But look, this is
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: a situation where he is heading off on Saturday. He says,
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: he did acknowledge he will be with his family outside
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: of Massachusetts this weekend, so we again, I'm just curious
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: how much privacy he will be afforded by the press
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  Speaker 2: with wherever he goes to seek this counseling.
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  Speaker 1: You know, they're trying to figure it out. The price
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: is going to try to track it down. Hope he
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  Speaker 1: does get that. I err on the side of families.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: I err on the side of giving them their space,
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: their moment, their privacy for these difficult times ropes, and
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  Speaker 1: we just don't know. I just I don't know. I
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: just know they're going through it, and it's your heart
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  Speaker 1: goes out. And it's not being sympathetic to Raybel, but
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: the Rabel family, Yes, to the Russini family, and everybody's
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: surrounding that, even the athletic New York Times, right, all
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: of it looks bad on folks. You hate it for
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: them to have to answer questions. Players are gonna have
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: to answer questions about all this. So a lot of
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: people got impacted and well, don't know them and I
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: hope this gets fixed. In the Rabel house, headlines be down.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: Well. The good news is, it seems as though by
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: him making this move, him saying he's spending this weekend
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  Speaker 2: with his family, the fact that he's being public about
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: his announcement that he's going to see counseling all points
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: in the direction that they are trying to work through things,
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: and that is certainly a good thing. But we know
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: that Mike Rabel is just the latest in a long
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: list of male celebrities who, after some sort of public embarrassment,
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: goes straight to public therapy. And welcome back, everybody to
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: this episode of Amy and TJ New England Patriots head
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: coach Mike Rabel heading to therapy this weekend, skipping out
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: on the third day, the final day of the NFL
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  Speaker 2: Draft to do so a bit of a shocking announcement
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: that we weren't expecting. We thought we had heard the
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: end of it on Tuesday when he said, I've had
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: difficult conversations and now let's go play some football. So
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: now we're actually seeing Rabel head off to an unknown destination.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: We don't know exactly what type of therapy he's going
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: to be receiving, where he receiving it, how intense it's
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: going to be, in patient, outpatient, None of those details
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: are available. But he is going to be joining a
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: long list of men who have done something similar in
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: I don't want to say similar, but I guess adjacent
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: types of scandals or bad press, whatever you want to
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: call it. Tiger Woods right now, among them, he has
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: gone to therapy for sex addiction.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Correct, that was right after that the car accident, right
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: the suv and people figured out what's going on. His
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: whole world got turned upside.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: Down with his then wife chasing him with a golf club.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: I believe. Okay, that was supposed. But he's now actually
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: a treatment again now, and this looks like it's for
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: substance abuse for pain management. So now he but he
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: went to therapy once for sex addiction, and now he's
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: back in therapy for substance addiction. We were looking up
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: some other cases though, David d'covny, you remember that one
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: that one checked himself into rehab for sex edition, sex
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: addiction following all of his scandalous reports of infidelity. Californication
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: was his big shows, right, which was always and it
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: was like a tough a tough thing because the show
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: was pretty much all about that. Yes, Harvey Weinstein, I
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: didn't even remember that he went into a treatment facility
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: in Arizona to deal with sex addiction.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: When was that that?
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: It was after numerous sexual abuse allegations. He thought he could, Yeah,
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: he thought he could rehab his like public image at
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: that point, he went to the Meadows in Arizona, which
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: is also where Kevin Spacey reportedly went when he was
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: accused by multiple men. He went to sex addiction treatment
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: as well, at the same place. Guess what, Anthony Wiener
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: remember him from New York. He checked into a sex
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: addiction wing in Tennessee after his scandalous can we say
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: dick pics? That's what he was sending Remeber.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: It wasn't a fai, it was dick pix.
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and like what an unfortunate last name when you're
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: known for that, can't really escape it.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: That was on Twitter. I remember that being everywhere man.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: Was also famous men who went to sex addiction therapy
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Russell Brandt, Charlie Sheen, Colin Ferrell, Eric Bennet with the
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: whole halle Berry stuff.
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: So wait, those were the last four you mentioned were.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: Sex addiction A Colin Farrell had sex and substance abuse addiction,
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: and I think Charlie Sheen might have had both two.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: It's like you get a one to two, like two
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: for one price when you go into these centers. But
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: as a deal they treat multiple addictions. Basically, if you
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: have an addictive personality, apparently it can be more than
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: one issue.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: I did not realize that many all those guys went
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: to sex addiction. A second, and it's a real thing,
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: you're telling me, I didn't know if it was being
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: officially identified by the whatever official.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think it is a real thing. Look,
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: I remember when David d'covney's sex addiction. That was back
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: in two thousand and eight. It's almost twenty years ago,
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: so there was a lot of eye rolling. And there
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: often are those reactions the like, Okay, you're addicted to sex,
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: what man isn't? Look that has been said plenty under
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: people's breadths end publicly. But I do think it is
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: something that has been absolutely acknowledged in the mental health community.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Tiger was the next year, wasn't it.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it was. There was a lot of
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: and I think that contributed to the eye rolling. Oh
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: we got another guy who's addicted to sex and that's
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: why he's behaved badly. Wow, we should make sure all
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: of our men get checked before we marry them. Yeah,
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: I think that was part of what people were saying
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: in the moment. But when look, we don't know if
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: Mike Rabel is going to sex addiction, if he's going
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: to any other sort of just maybe maybe he's looking
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: into his childhood, like who knows, this could be all
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: sorts of different types of therapies. But he is getting
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: help that he says he needs, and we will be
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: watching and I think most of us will be rooting
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: him on.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Rabel family on Look, the guy, I don't know what
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: he did. I don't know what to do with folks,
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: And there's no judgment here to be made one way
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: or another. Just it was awful for a lot of
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: people involved, and you could feel sorry for a lot
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: of people. You don't have two for those two, but
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: there are a lot of people in that hole orbit
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: that it's unfortunate this is happening.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: And I think that's always important to remember when we
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: see scandalous headlines that there's a lot of pain that
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: goes along with that. Not necessarily that you need to
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: feel any sort of pity for the people who have
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: maybe caused some of this pain, but certainly for the
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: people who love them. So that's always good to remember.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: And with that, everyone, thank you so much for listening
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: to us. I'm a Mee Robock alongside TJ. Holmes. We
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: will talk to you soon.