Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / #114 Merry Christmas! The Gift That Keeps on Giving (Best of 2024)

Transcript

#114 Merry Christmas! The Gift That Keeps on Giving (Best of 2024) · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I just want to say a big merry, merry, merry
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Christmas to everyone out there right now who is listening
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: to this podcast. What a delight, what a treat, a
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: great Christmas present.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: My assumption is that they're listening to it on the
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: way to Christmas lunch, yes.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: Because I mean there's a lot of driving that does
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: happen on Christmas Day for.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Parents drive safely.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Or maybe they are sitting there in a room currently
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: by themselves and they wants a company, and that's why
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: they're listening to.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Us, and that's just sad.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: And if you're those individuals, we hope you're having a
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: fantastic time by yourself.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: What are you doing about.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Ashni? We look, we have pre recorded this. Currently, we're
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: at my house. We've just opened our Christmas gifts that
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: were delivered to us by our producer Jess.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: I have an olden spoon.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: I have Larry the Ladle. After this we will whip
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: each other.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Larry the later looks lethal very good.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: We actually wear in need of new spoons. So timing wise,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: this is perfect. But we thought, rather than not give
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: you an episode, because obviously Christmas today is it's a
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: whens day, we thought we'll give you a best of.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: A twenty twenty four best of at that.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, well said, Yes, Well said. The hardest part
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: is it's like trying to pick your favorite child. Our
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: favorite stories from the last twelve months. They're all good,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: they're just I mean, we had a couple of rough patches,
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: but nine is just it's just impossible to pick, you know,
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: because we could do an episode that's what like twelve
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: hours long, three days long, Yeah, but we we thought
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: we'd do it like forty five minutes.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: So we've hand picked some of the best moments from
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: Jess has done the work. Yeah, I know that produces
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: other work.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Thank you, nothing, thank you. She's kind of staring at
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: us with disapproving eyes, being like, oh, it's so hard
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: picking the favorites. We've been here for hours, days going
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: through the library of content.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Some of my favorites, Matt was I think there was
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: one where you brought in a present you got for Lola.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Was it a soggy dog y doggy? Ye doggy? I mean,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: I can only imagine how many soggy doggies are being
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: handed out this morning, and how many kids will be
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: bitterly disappointed with how shit that toy is and no
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: very good marketing for that toys all marketing.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: That's the classic promise the world and Hannah and Antlers.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: Can I ask, because we will talk about your tooth
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: the extraction. How is the tooth right now? Still not there?
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: No tooth?
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: Can you show me? Open your mouth?
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Oh god, yeah, I want a gold tooth next year?
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: How much does that cost?
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: Millions?
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Surely you get that in Do you have insurance yet? No? Sorry,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: stupid question.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Would I have insurance?
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Because you're falling apart.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: I am falling apart. We also speak about falling apart.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: We also spoke this year about my indulgence at the
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: Easter Show.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: How I set.
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: Myself a task, absolutely everything that I possibly could.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: So we really hope you enjoy this best of also
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: enjoy the rest of your Christmas Day and Christmas break
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: much love all of our listeners out there.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Yes, ho ho ho, and enjoy. That's as merry as
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: I can be.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I for one, at the moment, would love to
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: ship myself. I'm extremely constipated, and that's because of all
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: of the coding I have been taking for from a
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: sore tooth.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: What is the limit. What is the maximum length of
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: time one person can continuously take coding?
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Well forever, I guess I know. Here's there's the thing.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: I went.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: I went to the dentist as we know last week,
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: and he gave me some codeine to band aid the paint.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: The dentist gave you coding. He gave me a script.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Did they do that?
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: Obviously they are Again.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: I went to well the chemist willingly gave me the
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: from the doctor scripts. He was like, hang on a second,
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: this is from adess and it said one at a time.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: And then the chemist said to me, you can take
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: two at the time.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: It's fine.
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: And I was like can The amount of coding they
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: gave me was for to band aid up until the extraction.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: I went through it in about three days because I
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: was in that much pain.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah you were, you called me wailing on the phone.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: And now I have an addiction to prescription painkillers. No,
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: but I was like, oh god, I'm gonna need some more.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: And I was like, you know what, I'm going to
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: try and get this tooth out earlier rang them up
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: and they had a cancelation.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: I just love, I love that the only people who
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: can help you were those who have been beaten down
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: by ash Wicks for such a long period since they
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: started this podcast, and they've been copping shot after shot
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: after shot from you, and now now you're on your
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: hands and he's begging.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: It's a credit to their public service.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: They could easily just be like, no, this guy obviously
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: doesn't know about that, so foolger. Now I'm like, you
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: listen to our podcast.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, He's like, what do you do?
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: And you're like, oh, we have a podcast. It's all
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: about how great dentists are.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: What was the problem with your tooth? It was a
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: I don't know, it just hurt a lot. It's an old,
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: feeling tooth. That was so I heard a lot.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: It was dead dying.
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: No, it was it was irritating the nerves underneath it.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: Right, So the options, the roots options were root canal
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: too expensive.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: He sat me down, He turned the lights off, he
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: turned the lamp on my face.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: He said, how badly do you want to keep this tooth?
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: I said, I'm not that attached to it, to be
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: completely honest. It's attached to my head, but I'm not
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: that attached to it emotionally, so let's remove it. But
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: because I'm such a scady cat. I was like, can
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: we somehow knock me out? He's like, no, May, it's
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: going to cost you like three or four times, way
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: more than Plann'd be such a scaty cat. Let's just
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: rip it out of your head. So you go in
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: and take these three sleeping tablets. I don't know this
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: is legal. I don't know whether these dances is really
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: shifting in his garage, I mean his basement.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: I'm tired. I was coming out. I got no pants
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: on them. It's necessary.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: And yeah, I think like it's like doesn't put you
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: to sleep, but it makes you been out of it.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: I was pretty out of it.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: I was really enjoying it, and I actually fell asleep.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: Let the lead up, and then they woke me up.
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: I was like, anyway, so they had to take the
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: tooth out because it was like, unless they were to
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: do the root canal, I'll try and save the tooths.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: Best to rip it out, and now I'm going to
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: be holding my head.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: May I ask you just really quickly, did you get
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: any second opinion from April in regards to saving the
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: tooth or losing the tooth?
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: N She's to get it out. She wanted to get
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: me complaining. She's honestly so over it. She was at
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: the point where I's like, oh, she was like no,
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: actually that's right. I was in bed and I was like,
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: oh god, I can't get up my mouth, just like
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: you can't decide when it's too sore to get out
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: of it or when it's too short not to get
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: out of it.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: So get out of it. And I was like, okay.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: So managed to squeeze.
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: In on the Monday, which is two days ago, and
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: I do have a present for you.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: Please are you ready? Oh? It's so big it is
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: my tooth.
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: I want to put it as a necklace.
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: I was thinking that money to clean it first. Probably, God,
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: it's so long, it's that long tooth. Anyway, there's a
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: hole in my head now, oh.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: So long, dude, Hang on a second.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: There's a big black mark in there, isn't there? What's
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: your professional opinion what that fucking guy is?
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Pretty bad?
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: What's the black stuff mean?
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: There's a little bit of good in all of us? Yeah?
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: So do you want to keep it? I don't want
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: to take it too.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: No, it's yours to keep. You'll never ever forget me.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: Thank you. You never forget.
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: Whenever you're facing yourself with the decision, look to the tooth.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: Hold the tooth, hold it, look to it and go
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: what's the right move here? And the tooth will tell you.
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: I attended the Easter show with my children. I did
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: notice that I also took my sister and my niece.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, you took the full family. Yeah, how do you go? Big?
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: No, good, It's actually good. They do a very good
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: job out there.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: They do it very were the kids excited, they know
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: it excited.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: So the night before got YouTube out to highlights of
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: last year's Easter Show just to get.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: Them pumped up. So they were happy. They were already
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: rare and go. Now. One person who was not behaved
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: was me. Take yourself back to a couple of days
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: ago where I said I need to fix this rig.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you sent me a photo of your backside and
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: you said I need to fix this, and I said,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: you look great. You don't need to fix anything.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: We've had quite a fun month, let's say, a fun
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: month of the trip to.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: Vegas, full of.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: Burgers, the cans again, chippies, pizzas, pizzas, beers, sounds.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: We've been living the good life. And I said to
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: you much was a dangerous month.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And I.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: Said, look, I've got like a month between now and
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: when I've got some other stuff on that I that
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: I want, you know, I just want to like.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: Fix the rig.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: So I went into the Easter show right before I
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: left the house, ate something quite healthy, like some eggs
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: and protein and blah blah blah, get ready to do
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: some kilk kilometers. And it's like when you go to
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: the zoo. As soon as you get there, your legs.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Hurt and you're hungry immediately. It's like when you go
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: to the shop, something to do with the lights. I
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: get hungry. I'm like, I want a kebab.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: I want to Ali Barber kebab immediately in my mouth
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: and those chips.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: That's it. Quit the record. We're going to Ali Baba.
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: And I was like, okay, I'm not gonna I'm not
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: going to eat too badly until I wore literally physically
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: walked in and I was like.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm just fucking starving. Now it's ten thirty in
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: the morning. Now I just want to run you through my.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: BASI was like patting a little pig lit and you're like.
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: Oh, just we hadn't got to it.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: We hadn't even got to the It was literally the
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: first food truck.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: As soon as I walked in, I was like, oh,
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: spoken like a true dad.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: We'll get through what I ate over the course of
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: the day, you mind you. I was home by four pm,
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: so ten thirty to four pm.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: This is what was on the menu for Ashway.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Okay, here we go. First thing to start with the
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: little coke zero, right, you love a coch.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: Just like wet the palette.
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: Wet the palette, but alongside that cleanse the palate, alongside zero.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: Schnitzelberger.
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: Next thing, Dagwood dog German sausage, Jesus homemade lemonade, a
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: large one.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: Okay. Then I finished that off with a bit of ribs.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Whoa like half or what how many ribs we talking?
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: That's half rack of ribs. I'm not judging, okay. Chicken skewers, sartae,
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: chicken skewers, the extra sauce. They're lovely. That was delicious.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: Corn on a stick. You've got thymes too.
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: You've got a chip on a stick times two. Fairy
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: floss on a stick. Also gosly may donut on a stick.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: Followed up by another goslet may a meat one this
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: time because the veggie one was very good, the meat
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: one awesome. Finished off with some ice cream, an ice
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: cream Sunday to be exactly a flake one with extra sauce,
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: and then I finished Oscars ice cream.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: Grand total, it's about two hundred.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: And thirty something dollars worth of food that I ate
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: at the Easter Show.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: Oops. I literally could not stop eating. Remember we're coming
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: back from Vegas and you're like, fucking hell, you've.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Eaten all days.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: It's all you've done.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: There's two modes with you. You're either fasting. You'll have
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: like a drink in the afternoon and that's all you
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: have for the entire day, or you're just this machine tuning,
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: just opening the dollar and just letting everything come in.
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: I pretty much did the Easter Show tour of food trucks.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: Did April say anything?
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: Was she?
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: She wouldn't dare anyway.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: So when you say you finished Oscar's ice cream, is
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: that because he couldn't finish it or you were just like.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: I was like, I say you go. He left it out.
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: Also, he can't work out the structural integrity of ice
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: cream okay on a cone. Okay, if you're eating a cone,
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: you need to lick around it to keep it standing tall.
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: He can't quite work that out, tries to lick the
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: top falls over. So I was like, you know what,
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: I've taken that and finish the ice cream. Now I
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: know that I'm not the only man to eat his
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: way through the Easter show like this.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: I guarantee you and I saw it.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: There were dads everywhere walking around pulling those trolleys that
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: had pre made lunches and stuff in them for the
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: kids and whatever. But Dad's holing into a dagwood dog.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: I got a jumbo dagwood dog. Thing was fucking huge.
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: It was like that big.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: How many inches well boasted of how many inches I have?
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: I would say it's similar to about twelve to thirteen inches.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: I don't know. It was big, full of better full
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: of Tomo sauce.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: Do you know what? Sometimes you just need to treat yourself.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: I also had a hot dog, but I just remembered.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Anyway, all the vendors there are like, we've had record profits.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: You know, who has a truck there? Chebo has a
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: truck there?
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Who's that again?
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: You know Chebo does the burgers, but I I messaged
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: in the say and I'm coming to see and he
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: was like down, I need more. I couldn't find him,
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: so they're stilling business.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: I'm just imagining like they do the Parade of Animals,
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: like because the cows are on show and I'm just.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: Sitting there with a knife and that's.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Like you're like walking onto the pitch and they're like,
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: who the hell is this guy? And you're just like
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: gnawing on a live cow.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: Just I got one for me and one for milk.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Where's my prize, daisy?
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah. Anyway, other than that, each the show was
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: very good.
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: Kids fell asleep in the car at the most awkward
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: time on the way home, so they were up all night.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: Probably I'm so tired still two days later. That explains
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: a lot that does.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: But hey, from this moment on and again, you don't
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: need to fix anything. Nothing's broken. But you've had You've
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: had your fun. Now it's it's time to knuckle down.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: I'm getting fat shamed.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: In my own No, no, not here, I'm getting fat shamed.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: I'm glad you had fun.
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: Honestly, the most fun I've had in a while. The food.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: I knew I was going to fail as soon as
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: I walked in.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: There are you going back?
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: And the first thing, I'm just going back for food,
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: I'm going back for lunch.
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: Peddy couple, welcome down the street, Petty couple.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: They kind of like with met couple. I love you,
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: but immit you.
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: No one can push me quite like you.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: As The first one to hear is from t J.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: Spelt t E space. Do you not know there's a
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: quicker way to spell that.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: I love words. Marley's learning how to spell right now.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Words like TJ. They're fantastic, very easy, very easy for
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: young minds. It's just too well said. TJ says. My
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: husband did one of the few loads of washing he's
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: ever done and hung it on the line. Well done,
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: well done, round of applause. That's great, bar so low,
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: that's so good. Good to see him doing his fair share.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: Not fair share, but is it he's on the roads.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: It is, She says. I noticed it was still in
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: the line the next day and reminded him to bring
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: it in. The reminders continued over the next couple of days.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Those clothes and towers remained on the line days. She
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: says heah, And I don't know if she's embellishing the story, TJ. TJ.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: I don't want to call you a.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: Liar, but this is this is a bit far fit.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: She's saying. Cut to ten months later.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: No, ten months, they weren't out there for ten months.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: That's what she's saying. TJ says it must be true.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: He finally took them off the line.
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: Ten months later.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: She says, I looked at them every single day. Out
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: of sheer pettiness, I refuse to bring them in. TJ.
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: You've done the right thing here. You've done the right
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: thing ten months.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: That's more than a pregnancy.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: Oh that's pretty petty, TJ. I will say they're probably
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: his clothes too, like that's probably why she's left it,
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: if it was anything important of hers, I guarantee TJ's
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: got that off.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: Also, like the one time he finally does the washing,
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: he just does his clothes and not hers.
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: So who's the pew on here, Matt, I've got one
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: from Gemma.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: Jemma says, sharing a bathroom with my husband is so annoying.
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: Separate bathrooms. I'm with you. If he shakes too vigorously
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: and sprays his piss on the floor. I use his towel.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: No.
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: Oh. She also goes on to say the same applies
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: if he gets water all over the floor because he's
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: incapable of using a bath map properly.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: Oh my, so it still goes.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: She then says, sometimes I watch him drying his face
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: and creep, but you've got to kiss that face. She
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: don't have to, bro, she doesn't have to. I hope
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: he's not listening. He's got to get his four skin checked.
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: And it's not his problem. He's got a sick skin.
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: That's great, And I love them. Keep the coming in.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: Wow. You can send them to hello at two Doting
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: Dads dot com.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: Or you can DM at two Doting Dads the Instagram
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: page and.
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: We will try and it around to all of them.
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: There are lots because people are out there being petty
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: makes the days go by.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: I love how all these men are just completely oblivious
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: to what's happening around them, wiping their face like town
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: smells a bit weird.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: Why does my towel smell pissy?
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: Anyway?
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: Anyway, it must be me back.
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: On Christmas really quickly? Did your kids get any presents
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: that you thought? Why the funk would make someone buy
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: this for my kid.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: No, most of the toys were pretty good, and Laura
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: put on a pretty good spread for.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: The girls toy wise.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: They got a last minute effort like that, you know,
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: even you know how it is when we got all
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: the toys sorted, we go into the last few days
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: leading up to Christmas with the pressure taking off our
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: shoulders about worrying about gifts, and then Marley would be like, actually,
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: you know what I want. I want a Gabby dollhouse
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: doll and we're like, oh shit, and then Laura would
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: run back to Kmart and get that sorted. The gift
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: that they liked the most was the cheapest one, which
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: was a lip gloss, like of everything, of everything we
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: gave the girls, like once they were all opened up
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: all the presents, yeah, it was the lip gloss that
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: they liked the most, which is like a couple of dollars.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: I can't find any of the toys that we got.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, they're like I know, like I got oscar,
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: a remote control car, like a hobby It's not a
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: hobby grade one, but it's like close. It's like eight
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: year old class And I was like, what's the worst
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: going to happen straight away. Crashed it, broke it, threw
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: it out straight away.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: That's just Christmas.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: But also like aunties and uncles and grandparents, they always
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: seem to give like a present and then a little
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: chocolate with it, and they're more interested in the little chocolate. Yeah,
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: I found myself just been going, no, look at the
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: big picture here, look what you've been giving there like, oh.
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: It's like, oh my gosh, come on man.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: The only gift that was a bit of a fail
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: was it was from Laura, the gift of love.
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: Oh hello, soggy doggie. Soggy doggy. Soggy doggy sounds like
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: a sex position. Looks have you ever tried this soggy doggie?
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: It looks fun, doesn't it.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: Look at him?
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Look at him, soggy doggy there. Look how happy he looks.
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: And the kids are having a great time as well.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: It's in French.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: It's yeah, English and French. Apparently the French love a
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: soggy doggie.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: That we all, I thought they'd like it more. Froggy style.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Soggy doggy style.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: Two million units sold around the world, So that you
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: know what, So just keep in mind that's what Soggy
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Doggy looks like on one of the box.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: I think, look, products that put their achievements on the box,
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: we get it.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: Don't be a wanker. Don't be a wanker.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: This is soggy doggy.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: Hang on a second, get that box back up.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: Look how big that is? What's the deal with the
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: box being so big? And well do you fill the
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: doggie up or something? So you pack it out? This is.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: That's that? That's soggy doggie.
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: Oh my god.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: And keeping in mind, you know, I had to Bill
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: that it doesn't look like much.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: But I thought that that was the at home bathtub
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: and that's a big soggy doggie.
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: That's like.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: So the way it works, you meant to roll the
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: dice and then it's build as being the like gateway
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: board game for kids. You know, you don't want to
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: go straight to Monopoly. You want to go with Soggy
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Doggy first, and then from there you build into other games.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: It's really easy. It's fun. And you meant to roll
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: the dice and then you push the handles and there's
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: a like a tap thing that's missing, but with every
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: roll of the dice, it squirts some water and then.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: You don't know what it's going to happen.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Soggy Doggie starts to shake and it like and that's it.
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, soggy Doggie, you're a disappointment the kids.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: We played it and the kids were like, is that it?
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that sucks, And I was like, Laura, but then
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: you get to wash the real dog.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: Matt wants other non sexy things that you do that
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: your partners finds as a turn on.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: I've got a great list here, Ash, you got a list.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: I've got a list because I put the call out
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: to people who listen to the podcast to get their answers.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: But for me, I've said this before many times, any
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: domestic work around the house chalk play turns Laura into
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: a horn dog, in particular doing the dishwasher and washing
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: the laundry. Ah, I don't do it as much these days,
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: but if I was to get the mop bucket out,
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: be careful. She will rip my clothes off. That's the
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: only reason why I don't do it.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: Afterwards.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: But hey, what's it? What's it for April? What does
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: she love?
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's a very very very good question.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I don't know what she likes.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: No same thing I think if you get if your
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: elbow deep in a toilet, the sexy you are.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: I mean, I like elbow deep in something else later on.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: Cleaning seems to be the common can senses.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: But I've got a little list here, as I know
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: you've got it for yourself. So maybe we can just
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: give like some sexy music right now to really set
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: the move.
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, let me just turn something on really quickly.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: Oh okay. When he wears his hat backwards.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: Oh that was a big trend for a while.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: That's that is pretty sexy. I'm just going to say it.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: Laura does like it. I guess when he rolls up
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: his sleeves, yeah, means business is about to happen. In
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: business times, like when the sleeves roll up, you know,
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: sh it's about to go down.
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: There is a lot of cleaning. There's some just some
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: nice ones. I would say, that's just like being a
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: nice person, which is like running me a hot bath
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: just for no reason.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Gives you an indication of how low that bar is.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: Where It's like if someone just ran me Abarth did
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: the bare minimum, I would love him.
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: Just when one here is just like just be competent
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: for the whole day.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: This is a niche one. She says her husband created
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: a cracker for a stock whip out of a plastic bag.
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: What she loved it, Oh my goodness, good enough. My
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: last one's really really simple. It's just getting a pay rise.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: I don't know if April ever loves this, but this
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: one says when he puts his hand on the passenger
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: headset and reverses the.
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: Yes, I remember because back in the day, when I
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: was a child, this is how I was conceived.
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: I reckon. There was no reverse cameras, and that was
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: the go to move. I reckon. I reckon. Dad's like
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: and the feel of it, even if you're slided in between.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Sam also wearing anything gray, great sweatpants anything, You've got
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: to have a decent sized cock for that.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: I don't even know about a great sweat.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: Here when he's on a work phone call and he
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: uses his professional voice.
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: Because your voice changes so much when you just like
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: chatting to her mate, chatting to her or him, and
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: then you're back into it.
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: Like we'll just circle back to that. It's like circle back,
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: circle back on this. Well, wasn't that a lot of fun? Anyway?
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: If you're thinking maybe I could give Matt Nash a
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: little present.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: Yes, you can jewelry.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: We will accept cash. We'll leave up bank details in
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: the show notes. But for those of you who don't
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: have any spare cash, we would love a little review.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: It would just that would make our Yeah.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: Five stars would be great. Leave a little comment in there,
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: or join us on socials. That'd be enough. That'd be
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: gift to know.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: It's not I want both, Okay, we want it all
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: I want. I want to review. Don't be dingy, give
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: us a follow and then never marry Christmas by.
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: Two.
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: Doting Dad's podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country throughout
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestrate Islander
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: peoples today.
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: This episode was recorded on Gadagal Land.