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The Dumb Ways You Hurt Yourself (DAY 2 of INSANE Calls) · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Rich, early in the morning, a few weeks ago, a
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: month ago, tried to get in the bathtub, slipped, fell. Hopped.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Tore his meniscus. Hopped in the shower. Stupid ways for himself. Snap. Kyle,
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: for some reason, stuck her hand in the air fryer,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: burnt her finger, then stuck her hand in the air
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: fryer again and burnt her finger. So stupid. Dumb ways
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: to die.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: So many dumb ways to die.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: So, the stupid ways you hurt yourself. Maddie, how did
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: you hurt yourself in a real stupid way?
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, well, we do adult Easter every year and we
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: give away alcohol and stuff. Well, I decided I'd smoke
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: a little stuff before. And once we all went, I
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: ran and ran immediately into the barn and ran into
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: a deer hanger and gashed my head open.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow. Dumb ways to die. So many dumb ways
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  Speaker 1: to die. How do you even survive something like that?
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: That sounds really bad.
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  Speaker 2: It honestly just left a little scar. It led a
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  Speaker 2: lot more than what it looked like.
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  Speaker 1: Can you tell us what a deer hanger is? I
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: don't know what that is.
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  Speaker 2: So, whenever we, like, hunt in deer season, it's what
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: we hang the dead deer on. Oh.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: It's literally like a big metal hook. Oh, I thought
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: you were about to say it's the horns that you
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: stick on the wall. Gosh, I never seen that. Yeah,
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: it's like a big hook. God dang. All right. Okay,
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: that's a stupid way to hear yourself.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Yikes. Your parents come in, you're just hanging on a hook. Gosh. Oh, yeah.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: All right. Happy Easter, Maddie. Oh, my gosh. All right.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Thanks for calling in.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: I hope so.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: Kelly, stupid way you hurt yourself. What'd you do?
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: I gave myself a black eye. You know how when
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: you get a new bottle of like vitamins and they
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: have that twist top on it and it's so easy
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: to get off? Well, it's not so easy. I always
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: jab at it with the knife because I can never
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  Speaker 3: get it. But one day I felt like I could
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  Speaker 3: and I wasn't going to stop until I did. And
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  Speaker 3: I kept pulling and tugging and it just wouldn't come off.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: So I just decided to give it just one more
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  Speaker 3: good try, and it came off with ease, and I
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  Speaker 3: smacked myself in the eye with the back of my
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  Speaker 3: hand and probably chewed up it.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're strong. And then I saw Dar's.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: And then, okay, so the worst part about this, though,
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: is that I had just recently had been seeing this
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: new guy, and I was going to introduce him to
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: my siblings, and so we were meeting the next day
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: at our favorite sports bar. He didn't know I had
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: a black eye. I had my sunglasses on, and so
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: when we get to the sports bar, my sibs are
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: sitting across and everything. I'm standing there, and then I
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: took off my glasses, and I'm talking and everything, and
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: my brother's looking at me. Anyway, here's my friend so-and-so,
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: and my brother looks at me, and he goes, Do
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: you have a black eye? And I go, I do.
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: And he goes, and then he looks at my friend.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: And the friend looks at me and he goes, do
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  Speaker 3: you have a black eye? And my brother's like, wait
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: a minute. So I said, no, I gave myself a
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: black eye. And he said, it's like when you told
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: mom and dad that the Hoover gave you a hickey.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: It's believable.
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: It happened. It really happened. And I'm trying to tell
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: them the story. He's just not having it. They're just
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: all sitting cross arm and looking at me. And I'm
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  Speaker 3: just like, I'm not that kind of girl. It was awkward.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: It was so awkward.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Your poor friend is like, I swear I didn't touch her.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: Did that relationship blossom into anything?
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  Speaker 3: It did not.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. He was out.
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah. No, I think after that, he just decided
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: that it wasn't going to work out because my family.
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: But anyway, stuff like that happens in real life.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: So let me ask you this, though. Did your parents
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: believe the Hoover hickey story?
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: No.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, I was going to say. Some guy gave you
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: a huge hickey on the neck, and you said you
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: were screwing around with the vacuum? Yes. I was 15.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: I was 15 at the time, and I did the
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  Speaker 3: blanket when I told them, and I thought it was
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  Speaker 3: very believable.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: All right. Thank you, Kelly. Thanks for calling in. All right.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: You guys take care.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: I just got a DM and said, I can't call
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: in stupid way. I hurt myself. I was in the
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: attic getting something and didn't realize there was no planking
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: over the beams. I was crab calling crab crawling over
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  Speaker 1: the beams, rested my butt on the drywall and fell
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: straight through the drywall through the roof onto my garage.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Concrete floor didn't break anything, but I had a huge bruise,
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  Speaker 1: purple bruise on my hip for a couple of weeks. Um,
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  Speaker 1: And now I'm terrified to be on second floors, especially
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: like a house or a hotel where you can feel
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: the floors hollow. I just can't. That's like one of
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: those movies. What movie is that where it's like someone's
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: crawling and they fall right to the floor? There's a
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: bunch of movies like that. It's Breakfast Club. That's it.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Breakfast Club. I love those stupid ways you hurt yourself.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Can't get enough of those. So many dumb, so many
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: dumb
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  Speaker 2: Ways to die.