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52. Riding the Business Rollercoaster · Burning Brightly

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You're listening to episode 52 of Burning Brightly,
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riding the business roller coaster.
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This is Burning Brightly, a podcast for Christian
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moms who are feeling called to build a
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business and share their light with the world.
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I'm Bonnie Wiscombe, a life coach, mom, and
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entrepreneur.
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And I'm honored to be your guide as
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you face this business building adventure, full of
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highs, lows, and everything in between.
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This is where we help each other find
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the courage to shine.
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Hey friends, today's episode is going to be
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really fun because I'm going to teach you
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all the highs and lows of riding the
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business roller coaster and what that means, some
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of the pitfalls that we encounter as we
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start businesses, and what makes us want to
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quit.
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So there are very specific phases that we
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go through when we build a business.
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It's human nature.
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You cannot escape them, I promise, because I've
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built lots of businesses and it happens every
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single time.
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But knowing this information and doing some self
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-coaching or getting coached by another coach will
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help you push through the tough phases, but
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it's really important that you understand what these
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are.
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Now, the first thing I want to teach
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you is something called the Dunning-Kruger effect.
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And this is something a business coach taught
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me a while ago.
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It is a psychological phenomenon where people believe
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they are better at something than they actually
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are.
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And it's kind of the opposite of imposter
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syndrome, but it actually comes up for a
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lot of us when we first start a
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business.
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Most of us fall prey to this somewhere
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in the beginning of business, sometimes not right
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away because we realize, oh, there actually is
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a lot to learn.
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But very often, it is somewhere in those
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beginning stages where you think, oh my gosh,
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this is going to be so much fun.
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I cannot wait.
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So we begin this business journey, and this
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Dunning-Kruger effect sets in.
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We get certified as a coach, maybe, or
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we get our first client, and we're like,
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oh, yeah, I'm kind of competent in this.
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This is going to be easy.
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We start thinking that maybe we're just a
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few steps away from success, and we start
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waiting for the money to just roll in.
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We hear everybody else's stories of immediate success
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or pretty quick success, and we think, all
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right, it's just a matter of time.
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But the fact is that the difference between
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a brand new coach and one with a
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handful of clients is really just a few
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months and a little bit of dumb luck.
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So I'm not telling you this to make
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you feel discouraged, but rather just to acknowledge
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that there is always something we should be
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learning, that even at the very beginning when
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you're thinking, oh gosh, yeah, this is going
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to be exciting, this is going to be
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fun, to just remember that there is never
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going to be a time in your business
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that you're going to stop learning.
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There's never going to be a time when
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you know everything and when things are easy.
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Again, this isn't meant to be discouragement, but
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rather we're always learning and growing no matter
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where we are.
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So this also helps us realize that the
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end of our journey, there really is no
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end of the journey, but when we accomplish
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the thing we're trying to accomplish, whatever money
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we want to make or however many clients
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we want to have, that we're going to
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have more things to learn, more things to
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improve upon, okay?
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That's just a constant learning and growing process.
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So what I like to do is acknowledge
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that when one thing works in my business,
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I celebrate it, but then I look at
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it and I analyze the data immediately.
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I'll ask myself, okay, what went well, what
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didn't, what will I do different next time,
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what else will I do if I try
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something similar and I don't get the same
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results, right?
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Maybe I had a little success and I
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tried again and all of a sudden the
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results are different, to not let that get
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me down, but just acknowledge, okay, I'm going
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to have to maybe change things up.
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Just kind of always assume you're a beginner,
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but also have the confidence in your ability
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to learn any new thing.
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I know that's kind of a fine line
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to walk, right?
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Not fall prey to imposter syndrome, I'll never
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figure this out, I can't do it, I'm
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not good enough, but also not fall prey
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to this Dunning-Kruger effect, right?
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Where we're like, I'm good, yeah, I think
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I got this.
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Because the fact of the matter is, there's
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always something new to learn.
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So have confidence in your ability to learn
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any new thing and acknowledge that the new
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things will keep coming over and over and
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over.
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And that's what I love about entrepreneurship, honestly.
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So let's go back to the rollercoaster of
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business.
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Where does this fall?
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Well, it's right at the beginning, of course,
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right?
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When things are exciting and fun, when you
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do a rollercoaster, nine times out of 10,
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there is a big hill at the beginning,
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right?
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And you get to the top really, really
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quickly because they want you to get your
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adrenaline going, they want you to get really
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excited.
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If you've ever been on the Incredicoaster at
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Disney's California Adventure, it has a really fun
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start.
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It's one of my favorite rollercoasters because it
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shoots you at a high speed up that
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first mountain, right?
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There's no suspense, there's no, well, there's a
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little suspense before you get started, but it
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shoots you very rapidly up that hill.
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And that's kind of like building a business.
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We have an idea and boom, nothing can
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stop us, right?
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We're like on the computer researching all the
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things.
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And we're all of a sudden telling everybody
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ideas are flowing.
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Maybe we invest a little bit of money,
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websites, logos, telling people, we're just on top
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of the world with all the things that
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are going right for this idea, right?
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You just can't stop thinking about it.
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But the rollercoaster of business contains more than
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one step.
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More than that, just initial excitement.
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There are actually five steps of entrepreneurship.
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I've read about this multiple places on the
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internet, but the names of these stages I'm
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taking from Alex Hermosi, how he refers to
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them, because I think they're pretty brilliant.
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But this first step, that first initial exciting
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hill of the rollercoaster is called uninformed optimism
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for obvious reasons, right?
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We have no clue what we're doing and
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we don't care.
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It's a blast.
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And we can hardly sleep with all the
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ideas and all the excitement that's pumping through
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our body.
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Right here, that Dunning-Kruger effect is in
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full force.
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We have zero clue what it's going to
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take to make this thing successful, but we
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know we've got it and it's going to
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be amazing and we can't wait, which is
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so exciting, right?
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It's meant to be that way.
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Now we acknowledge that not every phase in
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business is going to be like this, but
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don't be mad at this stage.
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It's really amazing and it's really fun.
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It's the reason we start businesses, right?
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Just like the early dating stage of a
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relationship.
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We have no clue how hard marriage is
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going to be to keep going year after
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year after year, but we don't care because
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we're so giddy with the anticipation of seeing
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this person again.
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And that's how business is at the beginning.
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And it's so fun.
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So don't get angry at this stage when
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you're just a little bit uninformed, just be
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excited, write it out, but acknowledge that things
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are going to change in a little bit.
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So we're going to crest that hill of
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uninformed optimism, and suddenly we're going to find
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ourselves coasting down the other side.
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And that is where we find stage two
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called informed pessimism.
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So we're uninformed, we're excited.
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All of a sudden we start doing some
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stuff.
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It's a little bit harder than we expected.
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The money's not just pouring right in.
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The clients aren't magically materializing.
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It's taking more time, maybe more money, more
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brain power than we initially expected.
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And the pessimism sets in a little bit,
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right?
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We're eyes wide open a little bit, a
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little bit more open anyway.
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And we're like, oh, dang, this is maybe
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a little bit harder than I thought.
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The excitement cools off.
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And as we learn that this may be
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going to take us a little bit longer
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than we anticipated, not always as fun as
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the beginning, which is okay.
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That's okay.
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But unfortunately, the roller coaster keeps dipping down
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here to what we call stage three, or
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what Alex Hormozy calls the valley of despair.
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I love this name so much because it
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feels just like that.
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It feels terrible.
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Everything is set up in your business for
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success, and you're working your butt off, and
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you're posting on social media nonstop, and you're
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telling everyone, and you've seemingly done everything right.
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And now your brain is like, but nothing
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is working.
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Why is nothing working?
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You're not going to make it work.
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Everything is broken, and you're a failure.
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And you just want to sit and eat
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your body weight and cookies.
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It's the worst.
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It's disheartening.
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And frankly, the only thing that sounds good
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in your business at that stage is to
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bail, is to leave this business and start
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something else.
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Or to maybe quit the niche that you've
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considered coaching on and start something new, or
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maybe quit the marketing technique you're using and
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start something new.
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You keep thinking back to those good old
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days of uninformed optimism.
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It's got to be better than this, and
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you want to just jump ship.
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But here's the important thing.
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When you're in that valley of despair and
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you choose to do something else, guess where
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you end up?
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At the top of another roller coaster that
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looks exactly the same with the exciting uninformed
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optimism, and then the informed pessimism, and then
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the valley of despair again.
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There is no escaping it.
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You have to push through because if you
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don't, you're just going to keep hopping to
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something new, keep chasing the high.
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Again, this might not be a totally different
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business.
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It might just be a pivot in your
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current business because you think it's going to
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be better somewhere else.
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And unfortunately, it's just not.
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We have to push through that valley.
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When you get into the valley of despair,
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stop looking at all the other business ideas
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or everyone else's niche and thinking, oh my
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gosh, it's going to be so much better
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over there.
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Look how much money she's making.
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Look at how successful he is over there.
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I just need to change.
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Now, I'm not saying we don't shift things
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when things quote unquote aren't working.
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We try something new.
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We do a different webinar or a different
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marketing tactic or we try a new social
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media channel, but we do not make any
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drastic decisions in the valley of despair because
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our brain is like, eject, eject.
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I want out.
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But if you keep bailing, you never get
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to move on up the hill again to
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stage four, which is informed optimism.
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So uninformed optimism, informed pessimism, that valley of
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wants to bail from.
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And then we go up to some informed
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optimism.
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And this is where it starts to get
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fun again.
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We start to see a little success.
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Maybe we noticed that our message is resonating
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with people.
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We likely start to make some money here
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and we start having some wins.
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The excitement comes back in little by little
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as we gain evidence that it is indeed
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working.
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And then finally, that last stage is that
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of achievement where we accomplish what we set
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out to do, whether that's, I don't know,
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retire our husband or make an extra thousand
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dollars a month, whatever your big goal is.
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That's where we achieve the thing.
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And remember, achievement is fun, but it's not
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better than here.
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It's just different.
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We've achieved that goal.
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But there are other hard things.
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Right.
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Once we've accomplished that goal, we'll have other
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challenges.
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We'll have to manage a team or we'll
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have to make sure that we're regularly working
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on our business.
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Whereas right now in the valley of sorrow,
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we're just eating our feelings and complaining to
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anyone who listened.
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OK, so acknowledge the achievement doesn't make it
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better.
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It's just a little bit easier to deal
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with because our brain is like, oh, look,
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there's evidence that what we're doing is working.
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Now, here's the other important thing to know.
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This roller coaster does not happen once, even
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in the same business.
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It happens over and over again, at least
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in my business.
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And I'm thinking it probably will in yours.
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The good part is that the dips just
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get smaller.
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OK, so the highs are a little bit
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tempered.
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The lows are a little bit tempered.
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The valley of despair is never quite as
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miserable as the first time.
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But this happens every time I launch a
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program.
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Every time I make a significant goal, I
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see this happen over and over.
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I personally have also started five different businesses.
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So I've been on this roller coaster a
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lot of times.
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And I've seen this cycle happen in a
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variety of industries.
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It's not just coaching.
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It's everywhere.
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It's human nature.
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It's going to happen no matter what.
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So let's talk for just a minute about
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this valley of despair.
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How do we ensure that we do not
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bail when the time comes and we find
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ourselves here at the bottom?
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Well, there are three main steps, OK?
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The first one is awareness and acknowledgement.
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That's where we are.
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The second one is compassion and curiosity.
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And the third one is coaching, coaching ourselves
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or getting coached by someone else.
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So that first one, the awareness is just
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knowing that this exists.
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So just listening to this is going to
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teach you that this exists.
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The acknowledgement part is knowing that you're in
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it.
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Once you're there, you have to be like,
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oh, I remember Bonnie was talking about that
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valley of despair.
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I think that's what this is because I
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feel like crap and I want to bail
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and everything is failing.
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So it's very easy to hear about this.
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Not so easy to be inside that valley
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of despair and feel like everything is failing.
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But being aware of it reminds us that
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we aren't failing and business.
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Our business isn't broken, but this is just
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normal.
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This is expected.
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Write it out and it will get better.
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Number two, the compassion and the curiosity piece.
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These are hallmarks of good coaching, right?
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Being really compassionate, really curious about yourself or
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the person you are coaching.
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They're absolutely required to become a successful, happy,
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fulfilled business owner.
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You cannot blame yourself for all the things
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that are going quote unquote wrong.
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If you remember episode 48 with my friend,
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Danny fake, where she talks about parts work,
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this is where we're going to step into
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that role of authentic self that she taught
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us about.
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The best friend that you can be to
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yourself.
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There's going to be many parts in your
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brain doing different jobs.
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Your authentic self is going to be the
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one who's going to be in charge of
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them all.
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And the best friend to them all.
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She's the big sister, right?
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Who puts her arm around everybody around the
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fear and the indecision and the imposter syndrome
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and says, I see your suffering.
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I get it.
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And I know it's hard, but just stick
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with me.
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We'll pull through.
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She's the one that everybody else looks up
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to and goes, okay, if she's not panicked,
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I won't panic.
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We'll make it right.
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That's the compassion piece.
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The curiosity piece puts that authentic self in
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the driver's seat.
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And she gets curious, like, what's fear doing
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here?
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Why is she so freaked out about what's
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happening here?
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She is learning from those other parts in
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the brain and trying to figure out where's
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this coming from.
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Do I want to keep allowing this imposter
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syndrome or overwhelmed to stick around?
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Is it benefiting me in any way?
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It might be, but also I'm going to
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keep in charge.
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I'm going to keep hold of the wheel
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and make sure that none of them run
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us amok.
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Finally, number three, get coaching.
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Either do your own self coaching or get
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coached by somebody else.
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That looks like running that model, the one
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I call the head, heart, hands model on
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your thoughts and on your feelings.
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Go back to episode 20 if you don't
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know how to do a model.
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But I like to start with the heart,
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the emotion, because it's very often so much
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easier to identify emotions than it is to
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identify thoughts.
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So what am I feeling?
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What thought is causing this feeling?
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Why am I thinking this?
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What is this thought helping me do?
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Because your brain always thinks thoughts for a
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reason.
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Do I want to stay here?
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If not, how can I loosen the grip
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that this thought has on me?
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All right.
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So those stages of business, that roller coaster
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looks like this.
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Uninformed optimism, number one.
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Number two, informed pessimism.
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Number three, that valley of despair.
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This is where most people bail and try
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to go find green grass somewhere else, but
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they just find more of the same.
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Number four, informed optimism, likely where you start
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making money and have some success.
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And then number five, achievement.
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And again, you're not going to feel a
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thousand times better over there.
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Remember, because circumstances don't change our feelings, but
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you will have some evidence that it's working.
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So it does make it easier to get
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through those future valleys of despair as long
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as you keep going.
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So step into that valley of despair and
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all the other parts that come with building
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a business.
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It's so fun.
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And if you manage your mind, it's totally
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doable and enjoyable.
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Even when you're feeling a little bit miserable,
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you just get curious.
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You just get compassionate.
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You just pay attention and push your way
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through it.
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Just keep going because the only way to
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fail is to quit.
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Okay, friends, I'll talk to you next week.
14:12
Are you ready to start or grow your
14:14
dream business?
14:15
Click the link in the show notes to
14:16
download the free starter guide to building a
14:18
business or to schedule a free coaching call
14:20
with me.
14:21
And if you loved this episode, don't forget
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to leave a review and share it with
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a friend who might be feeling the call
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to burn a little brighter.