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When You Realize You've Been the Difficult Person at Church · Daily Devotions for Busy Lives

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  Bart Leger: Lara d'Antermont knew her theology. She had read
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  the books and learned the arguments. She was sure she had
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  it right. So when her family started attending church that
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  did things a little bit differently, she walked in with
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  her guard up and her nose a little in the air. She scoffed
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  at the way they read certain passages. She got annoyed at
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  their worship style. In the back of her mind was a private
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  verdict about these We are better than them. She figured
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  she was there to put up with them until something better came
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  along. The truth was, Lara was the difficult one in that
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  building and she had no idea yet. We'll come back to what opened
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  her eyes. But
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  first, welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm
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  Bart Leger. I've pastored a good many years and have known some
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  difficult people. There's a small book from years back by
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  Marshall Shelley that calls them well-intentioned dragons. I
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  think that name fits pretty well. They might have good intentions
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  or thought they did, but they were difficult nonetheless. Most
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  of the dragons I've known never worked out that they were
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  dragons. A few did, and it was refreshing every single time.
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  This episode is for the person who has finally noticed. Maybe
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  you started seeing a pattern in how conversations at church go
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  when you're part of them. Things seem to be going well until you
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  get involved. Business meetings are running smoothly until you
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  speak the difficult person at your church might be you. That's
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  uncomfortable to see, and it's one of the better things that
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  can happen to a person because we can't change what we can't
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  see. The apostle Paul gave the Romans an instruction for
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  exactly this moment. He'd spent a whole chapter on believers who
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  were divided over food and holy days and over how they were
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  treating each other about it. Then he closes the chapter here
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  in Romans 14, verse 19. So then, let us aim for harmony in the
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  church and try to build each other up. Look at the two verbs,
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  aim for, try to build. of those, take effort, and both of them
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  point outward at other people. Older translations put it as
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  pursue, and you pursue something by going after it on purpose. So
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  if God is showing you that you've been the source of the
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  friction, stopping is half of it. The other half is the pursuit.
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  Pursuit in a church body is an everyday responsibility. You let
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  a comment go without correcting and you look for a chance to
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  build up somebody verbally in front of other people, even if
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  you're not used to doing it. Then, go find the person you've
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  been short with and tell them you were short with them. Don't
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  make excuses, just apologize. Now, about the correction itself.
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  If God used a person to show you this, that person did you a
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  kindness most people are too polite to do. Thank God for it.
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  Then, thank them if you can stand to, and I hope you can.
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  And here's the mercy in the timing. He's showing you now,
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  while you still have time, to be different in that building with
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  those same people this coming Sunday. Then, Lara lost a
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  pregnancy. And the people she had looked down on were the ones
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  who came. A woman from the church arrived at her door with
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  a warm meal. Others brought food and stayed close while she
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  grieved. The believers she had judged for getting the small
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  things wrong turned out to know how to love better than she did.
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  Lara still had her convictions, but her pride cracked wide open.
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  She had walked in as the critic, and God used the church she
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  didn't respect to show her the difficult person had been her
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  all along. Look at what changed her. A woman at the door with a
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  meal. The people she had been grading turned out to be
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  practicing what she had been reading about in God's Word. She
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  kept every conviction she walked in with, but what she did was
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  put down the ranking. Here's today's challenge. Ask one
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  person who will tell you the truth. Somebody who's been
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  around you at church for a while. Say something like this. I've
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  been wondering whether I'm difficult to be around here, and
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  I want you to tell me straight. Then stop talking and take what
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  they give you. And do one thing today in the other direction.
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  Build somebody up where other people can hear you. Send the
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  text or say it in the hallway on Sunday. That's the pursuit part,
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  and it starts this week. Father, thank you for the mercy of
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  showing us what we would rather not see. For everybody listening
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  who is starting to suspect that they have been the trouble in
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  their own church, keep them from defending themselves today. And
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  give them the nerve to ask somebody who will tell them the
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  truth. Make them the kind of people their church is glad to
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  see coming through the door. And do that same work in me, because
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  I need it as much as anybody else listening to this. In
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  Jesus' name, amen. If Daily Devotions for Busy Lives has
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  been an encouragement to you, would you take a minute and
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  leave a rating and review? It helps more people find these
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  devotions, and it only takes a moment. I'd be so grateful.
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  Thanks for joining me on Daily Devotions for Busy Lives.
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  Remember, Paul told us to aim for harmony and to build each
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  other up. And both of these take effort. If God has shown you
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  something today, thank Him and then go do the next thing you
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  need to do. Come back next time for more encouragement to help
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  you live grounded in God's truth. Until then, God bless and have a
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  great day.