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What If Everything You're Too Scared To Try Actually Works Out? With Lizzy Mathis · QUESTION EVERYTHING

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever,
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: pretty strong. I'm Danielle Robe and each week my guests
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: and I have conversations that put a new spin on
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: pretty This is pretty smart. Hello, I hope you're having
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: a wonderful day. As I'm recording this, I am so sore.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: I finally started working out again after my egg freezing. Well, so,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: one of the things about egg freezing is you can't
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: really work out during it or after for a little while,
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: and so I just like got out of the groove
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: and I finally jumped back in. And you know that
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: feeling when you can't even sit down. I know this
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: is a little TMI, but when I sit down to pee,
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: I'm in pain.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: I know you all know that feeling.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Anyways, what else have I been up to. I started
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: pre production on a new show that launching at the
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: end of March, and I'm going to be able to
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: talk about it at the beginning of March, so in
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: a few weeks i'll tell you what's going on with that.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: But it's really fun to start something new.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: And I have coworkers again, which I haven't had in
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: a long time, which is really fun and because of
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: all of the newness, I've really been doing my best
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: to say no, which you all know is not my
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: strong suit. Part of not being good at that is
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: that I really love a little randomness in my life.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Saying yes to random coffees or random phone calls has
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: brought really beautiful things to my life, and I love
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: and value connections, so I like a little bit of that.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: But I also think there's seasons in life, So right
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: now I'm trying to preserve some energy so that I
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: can be really much more generous with it in the springtime.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: I just kind of feel like I need to power up,
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: And before we jump into today's episode, don't forget that
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: I am doing one on one zooms.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: Each week.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: I've been picking one or two people to zoom with
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: and we've been talking about their dreams, career planning, seeing
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: if I can introduce them to somebody that might be helpful.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: I love being able to meet with you one on one.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: So in order to enter, all you have to do
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: is DM me or email me, and my email is
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Danielle at beprettysmart dot com.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: So all you have to do is email me or
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: dm me.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Screenshots of you sending an episode to two friends and
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: recommending it. So in the past two weeks, the Toxic
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: Positivity episode has really been passed around a lot. That
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: could be a fun one to share. Or you can
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: write a review and DM me that screenshot. Okay, now
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: we're ready for today's episode. Hanging out with Us this
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: week is a Lizzie mathis Now. Sometimes when I do intros,
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: I feel like I want to give you some background
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: on the person, but Lizzie makes me laugh so much
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: that I almost feel like it's better if she tells
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: you about herself.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: That's is where I was born and raised. New York
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: is where I think I grew up. In La is
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: where I became a woman.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: She's a former model turned entrepreneur mentored by Tyra Banks.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: You may recognize her from her home renovation show on
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Roku titled Honest Renovations, where she and her best friend
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Jessica Alba give deserving families renovations that take their homes
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: from cluttered and chaotic.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: To functional and fabulous. One day, when I get out.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Of my apartment and into a house, I'm calling Lizzie.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: She also has her own podcast called The Cool mom
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: Code Podcast, where She speaks with fantastic women who claim
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: mom as one of their proud titles. I was actually
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: just hon as a guest as her first non mom.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: Lizzie loves talking about motherhood. She's a mom of three.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: She also talks a lot about her mom, who passed
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: away several years ago.
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: The grief and the devastation of not being able to
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: pick up the phone, not being able to call. My
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: heart is still very broken, you know, and I don't
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: know if that'll ever change.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: Lizzie and I cover the gamut.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: She tells us how she hustled her way into a beautiful,
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: fulfilling and just like everyone else, sometimes challenging life you.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: Stop giving a fuck of what other people think. But rejection,
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: feeling like rejected, that's a very strong feeling. And that
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: is a feeling of choice.
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  Speaker 4: And I can't give anybody, I can't make that choice
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  Speaker 4: to give anyone else that power to make me feel
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  Speaker 4: rejected in this phase of life.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: That attitude, that relentlessness, that resourcefulness energy.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: She brings that everywhere she goes.
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  Speaker 1: One of the things I love most about Lizzie is
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: that she brings her whole self to every room and
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: she always sees the magic in things.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: It's like a Todller, right, like my son. He jumps
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: off pouches, He'll like fly through the air, and I'm like, dude,
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: you could break a leg. There's so many things that
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: could go wrong.
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  Speaker 4: With this, but all he sees is the fun of
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: the possibility of what if?
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: It goes right through her story today, she reminds us
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: all to replace the question what if I fall?
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: With well, what if I fly?
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, the note cards are out and off camera.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: You just said no secrets. So Lizzy Mathis welcome to
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: Pretty Smart. Thank you for having me, Thank you for
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: coming in, of course. Okay, Lizzie Mathis that was your
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: maiden name, not your married name. Yes, today we're gonna
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: talk about everything about getting married, about having babies, what
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: your career looks like. So why did you not change.
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: Your name while you're coming in with the heart stuff?
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: You know, Honestly, Lisa and I my husband, we've been
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: together forever and so we dated for like four or
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: five years, and we were young when we got married,
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: And to be honest with you, we were just both
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: in the the rows of our career, like we were
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: in like the young part of our career, like I
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: was modeling, he was modeling.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: We were traveling so much. Everything just felt so busy.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: So even to like schedule out a day to get
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: married felt like a lot. So we looked into like
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: the whole changing of name and all this stuff like that,
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: and it felt so daunting. I was like, Oh my gosh,
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: do so much paperwork just to get your last name.
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: I was like, you know what, right now, it just
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: makes sense for me to keep my name because I was.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: A working model, I was an actress.
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  Speaker 4: I was like all doing all these things, and I
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: was like, this is my stage name anyway, so I'm
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: just gonna keep my name. And he was like, all right, cool,
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: And I was like, when we have kids, I'll put
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: I'll do your name three kids later, which just it
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: just hasn't happened. It irritates him so badly. But for me,
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  Speaker 4: I think that it's just I'm used to it. I'm
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: just I'm used to my name and I'm used to
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: like having that identity, and not that I think it
• 7:14
  Speaker 4: would change anything, because I do believe very strongly in
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: the sanctity of marriage, and I love the idea of
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: like becoming a union. I want the last names of
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: my children. That's the thing that I kind of more
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: so than his last name. I want the last names
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: of my children. And I think about it in terms
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: of when.
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  Speaker 3: We're all past and we're all gone, how will people
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: associate me with them?
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  Speaker 4: And so that is like a drive for me to
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: want to do it. But right now it's just like
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: a minute, it just feels so daunting.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Right now, I know that your mom was such a
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: huge part of your life. Yeah, tell me about the
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: pieces of you that you feel like are the most hurt.
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: Ooh, I mean you know they always say that you
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: kind of become your mom as you get older. And
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: I used to always like so yes and no. I
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: used to always look at her and be like, no,
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  Speaker 4: that's not gonna happen, like girl by like how like no,
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  Speaker 4: I don't see any of that, Like how that's gonna be.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: But there are things like my mom was very much.
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: She loved home, she loved entertaining her friends, and like
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: having people over. She loved cooking. Cooking was her love language.
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  Speaker 4: Like that was the way that she expressed how much
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: she cared about you, Or like a gesture like I remember,
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: oh my god, this is like so long ago, but
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: I remember I was friends very early on, like in
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: my teenage years with Tyra Banks, and I still am.
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  Speaker 3: I love her to death.
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  Speaker 4: And she was so kind to me when I was
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: trying to get into the modeling game and like take
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: it really seriously.
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  Speaker 3: And I was trying to figure out, you know, if I.
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: Stay at Northwestern or if I go do modeling in
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  Speaker 4: New York, and like what do I do? I have
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: opportunities and she took me into New York for a week. She,
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: like Tyra like walking me around New York.
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  Speaker 3: She was just so.
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: Sweet and my mom thought it was such a nice gesture.
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  Speaker 4: My mom, this Midwest lady from Michigan, thought it was
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: such a beautiful gesture that this woman had taken time
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: to like show me that much love.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: She wanted to bake her a pound cake.
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: My mom baked her a pound cake and shifted so
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: shifted to Tyra in LA and I just remember thinking,
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: like don't they have cake services out there?
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: Though? And she just didn't care for her.
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: It was that way of showing love and appreciation to
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: someone who had showed her baby so much love and appreciation.
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  Speaker 3: And I find myself doing that. I find myself wanting.
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: To cook and love through food and nurture like she does.
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  Speaker 4: And she used to do this thing with her mouth
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: whenever she cooked. She used to be like, it's like,
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: why are you doing that with your mouth? And now
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: I find myself like, as I'm chopping, I'm like, oh
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: my god, oh my god.
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: I'm doing it the cooking face, the cooking face.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: And so I don't want to not I want to
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: get back to your mom. But how did you meet
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: Tyra Base?
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: I don't, Well, that was crazy. So essentially we were
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: dating brothers. Okay, essentially, so in high school I dated
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: a guy who was his brother. Tyra was dating and
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: so we had met at like a family dinner or
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: something like that, and I was like.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, I ignore you. And you were like
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: so like my idol and like all these things.
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: And I wanted to be a model so badly, and
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: she was just like We actually became really good friends
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: and we've stayed friends.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: But she wasn't just any model. She was always super smart,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: super entrepreneurial. And you're the same. So it's interesting that
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: your brothers had the same taste in it.
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of. But she became like a mentor for me.
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: She really did.
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: She became like a mentor big sister for me, and
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: she was just so like integral and like showing me
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: that there was so much more that you could be
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: besides just one avenue. I remember being there when she
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: started America's Next Top Model, and like how scrappy she was,
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: and she was just like she wouldn't take no for
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: an answer, and she was just like, so, you know,
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: like this is what I see, this is my vision,
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: and she was just full steam ahead. And so, I
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: don't know, some of that stuff just rubs off on
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: you as you like witness, especially women who look like you,
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: you know, meaning like a woman of color who really
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: like took her career into her own hands and didn't
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: wait for the phone ring.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: And that inspired me.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: There's something I don't quite know how to put it
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: into words, but when you're around greatness, you just pick
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: up on things. It's such a gift.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: It's such a gift.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: You just see how they move.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: It's such a gift.
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: It's such a gift that as young women we notice that, right,
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: But it's such a gift that as women now you
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: want to give back, Oh yeah, right, like you want
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: to share that, and you hope that that's what people
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: are picking up from you, you know, just like that
• 11:59
  Speaker 4: inspiration and that drive, that ambition, that idea that listen,
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: there are no limits.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: So it's the idea that, like so many nobody does
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: anything great alone, I don't think, and the idea that
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: so many people have poured into you. That's right, and
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: you want to pour back in.
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: That's true.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Not everybody does that.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: Well, not everybody does that.
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: But now raising daughters, you see how important it is,
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: do you mean? I think that, you know, you see
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: how impressionable, especially young girls are, whether it be their friendships,
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: whether it be just the little things people say to them.
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: They pick up on things that you just don't even realize.
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: And we as little girls used to too. That's the thing,
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: and it shaped us. It's shaped who we are, shaped
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: what we do. It's shaped how we think about ourselves
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: and our body and how we see the world and
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: how we see what our limitations are.
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: Right, And so I.
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: Think when my daughters, one of the things that I'm
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: very passionate about is also trying to surround my daughters
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: not only with like you know me and of course
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: like being like you know, super present in their life.
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: But my girlfriends, like my girlfriends who are just like
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: who loved them just as much, and who like want
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: to like like enrich their lives and want to give
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: them things like give them advice, and who are supportive
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: and excited about that like basketball game, and who are
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: excited about that a that they got on that math
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: test just as much as I am.
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: That matters.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: Did you have that I did?
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: You did? I did?
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: And you had your grandmother too.
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: I had my grandmother too. But I never used to understand,
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: like why my mom had like these girlfriends around who
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: I called aunties who were not related to us. Yeah,
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: I was like why, Like I don't like, I mean,
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: I knew it just was natural, you know, I never
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: really questioned it, but it just was natural. I just
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: didn't understand why we called them aunties.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: I was like, why is she my auntie too? But
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: she's not.
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: She's not your sister though, but she's my auntie. Like
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: it was just so confusing, But now I understand. Just
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: in our culture, especially too, it takes a village, Like
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: those are the people that you lean on to help
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: raise your children and just create a safe space.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: I've never really thought about this. But my mom's friends,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of pieces of them and me, Yes,
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: it is a really big thing.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: It's a big thing that's bigger than what you think.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: So I was in Mexico City with a girlfriend for
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: New Year's.
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: Yes, let's talk about it.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: Well, I'm trying to get you guys to go to
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: Mexico City. But besides that, the girlfriend I went with
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: also moved to LA from Washington, and we were talking
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: about the bumps and bruises that happens when you're a
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: woman alone in a new city. Yes, did you feel
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: that when you moved to New York? Like I definitely.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: I'm grateful for all of them, but I carry some
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: scars of things.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: You know, it's interesting New York for me.
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: It's when I think about it, I think of Detroit
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: is where I was born and raised.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: New York is where I think I grew up.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: In LA is where I became a Like it's like
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: like these different tiers of life, Like Detroit will always
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: be home and it's always where my childhood and I
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: was raised, but New York is really where.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: I feel like I grew up. Like I was able
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: to kind of just say all right, I.
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: Can own a little bit more of my independence, you know,
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: my trajectory.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: What I loved, like all these things, and so New
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: York was that for me.
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: So yes, we're they're bumps and bruises, sure, But I
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: also think it was because I was growing up, you know,
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: like I also was figuring it out right. It was
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: parts of that where I was like the knicks and
• 15:36
  Speaker 4: the nose and the no, you're not good enough for this,
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: or no, you're not right for this, and.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: Absolutely not and who are you? No?
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: You know, was a natural part of me getting my
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: feet too, like figuring out how to stand up on
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: my own and not be under the protection of your family.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: So you're in New York, you're modeling, you meet your husband, Yes,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: and you guys have kids pretty young.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we had kids pretty young.
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: But we we did the whole New York thing and
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: we got married, and then I was still acting and modeling.
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: We were still traveling quite a bit, and then we
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: decided to make them move to LA because I'd come
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: out here for an acting job and I had done
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: some things and we were like, I think we just
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: need to be in LA And so we came out
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: here for work to la and then we got pregnant.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: Planned.
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: It was planned. I was terrified, but it was planned.
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: I was terrified.
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: I listened to a few other podcasts you did, and
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: in one of them, no, no, I mean you're so fun.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: But in one of them you were saying that you
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: actually at one point thought you may never even have kids.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: I mean for me, I think it was just like
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: it wasn't on my radar, Like I wasn't the type
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: of woman just I had. I'd had friends who were like, yes,
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: I want to married, I want to have kids, I
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: can't wait to have babies, Like that's my thing. Even
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: my mom she used to tell me all the time.
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: She was like, my, the biggest thing I want to
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: do is.
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: Just have kids.
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: Like I want to have kids. I want to be
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: a working woman, but I want to have kids. And
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: for me, it just it wasn't. That wasn't my thought.
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: Like I wasn't in life thinking Okay, I'm gonna work
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: and then I want to have kids.
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I can't wait have kids. It just wasn't.
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: That wasn't me.
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: I was like, I'm gonnaork, I'm gonna figure this out.
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: I want to do this, and I just had ambition,
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: right And then I met my husband and I knew
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: that what we had and the value system that we shared,
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: I wanted to recreate and him and I very early.
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: On in our relationship, we were like, yo, we.
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: Understand that we're both in like very creative jobs, you know,
• 17:45
  Speaker 4: nothing stable, like we're entertainment industry. But we have to
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: commit to each other that will never let that come
• 17:52
  Speaker 4: before our family or starting a family. And I was like,
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: I can make that commitment and he was like, okay,
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: I can make that commitment to And then when we
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: moved to La, we were like, all right, I think
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: it's time. Like I think we just jump into it.
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: We've always been good at just jumping into things, like
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: don't think too hard about it, don't think too much
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: about it. We're gonna think, I think ourselves out of it.
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: Let's just jump into it.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: Let's just do it, and then you figure it out.
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: And we figured it out.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: My mom always is like, just pick someone and go
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: stop thinking so much, like it'll be fine. I mean
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: a little more than that.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: But yeah, a little bit.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: More than that. But I get what you're saying. Like
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: something I heard this quote overthinking is under feeling, Yeah,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: And I was like, there is a bit of that,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: like when you're out of your heart, you're in your head.
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so.
• 18:39
  Speaker 4: I think that I've never heard that quote, but I
• 18:41
  Speaker 4: think that's exactly what it is. Overthinking is underfeeling. Yeah,
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: I think it's something about that. I think you just
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: almost outsmart yourself.
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because you know what it is. It's like this
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: when you're young. The reason why it's so exciting is
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: because you have no idea how bad you can fuck up.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: You don't even know how bad you could really fuck up.
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: You could fuck up so bad that you fuck your
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: whole shit up, but you don't even think about it.
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: Because you're so young. You feel like you got that
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: bounce back. It's like a kid. It's like a toddler, right,
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: like my my son. He jumps off.
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: Couches, He'll like fly through the air, and I'm like, dude,
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: you could break a leg. There's so many things that
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: could go wrong with this, but all he sees is
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: the fun of the possibility of what if it goes right?
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: What if it goes right? Now? I'm soaring like the
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: hair and I'm excited. Right, It's that.
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: It's like when you when you're young, you have that
• 19:34
  Speaker 4: you don't see how bad it could be because all
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: you see is the possibility for fun it can be,
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: and so you focus in on that.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: As we get.
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: Older, we like shit, you mean, I mean I could
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: I could lose this, I could lose that, like I got.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: You sliding doors? Yes, so I.
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: Think where the where they miss kept missing you?
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like the old the pot and it's like
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: her whole life would have been different for if she
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: missed the subway that's right, right? What is it called
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: in London?
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: The tramp?
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: The two?
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: The two?
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I've been thinking about that a lot,
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: Like is there a way to mess up your destiny?
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: What do you think about that?
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: Well, listen, I mean I'm a very big believer in
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: God's plan, right, like I think we all have choices.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: But oo, there's a way to mess up your destiny.
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: I think you just have to continue to follow the light,
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: like follow where your heart is leading you and follow
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: the light at all times. Now, when you start following
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: the darkness, that's when you've got some issues that you
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: might want to take some like a second look at.
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: But you know, I think, as long as you follow
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: the light, you can't mess up your destiny. You are
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: where you're meant to be in every moment of life.
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: Right now, we are meant to be right here talking
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: to each other, having this conversation two weeks ago. We
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: were meant to be at dinner, having a conversation and
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: enjoying your company, right and like getting to know each other.
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: You are where you're meant to be, And I think
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: those choices will lead us till the next step.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: I actually think that imagery of your son jumping was
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: the reason for me that you were meant to be here.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: I need to start thinking about that, like the possibility of.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: The fun, the possibility of the fun.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: It's such beautiful imagery, like of a child.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: It is.
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: If we can keep that, then I feel like we
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: have a chance of actually being happy.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: I think so too. Ooh, a chance of being happy.
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: Isn't that what it's all about?
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: That?
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we just want the chance to be happy.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: Were you a preacher's kid?
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: No?
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: I just am saying, like how I think of it,
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: And I think you know what it is. I think
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: it's hard to make the choice. Happiness is a choice,
• 21:43
  Speaker 4: and east of my husband used to always tell me,
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: he's like before my mom passed, and that this is
• 21:48
  Speaker 4: why I'm trying to make the choice to get back
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: to that. But before my mom passed, he used to
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: always say, Lizzie, you wake up happy, like you wake
• 21:55
  Speaker 4: up happy. Whatever happens during the day, that happens, you
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: could change your mood, whatever, but you always wake up happy.
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: And I lost a little bit of that. So I
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: think it's me also reminding myself I have to make
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: the choice to be happy. Just make the choice to
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: wake up happy. And if we can choose that and
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: find little things throughout the days, the weeks, the moments
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: to make ourselves happy, then isn't that what we're really
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: doing this for. Yeah, we just want to be happy,
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: whether that's financial happiness, whether that's love and relationship, whether
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: that's friendships, whether that's career, kids, whatever it is.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: We just really are searching all of us just for happiness.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: When did your mom pass.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: Two years ago? And it feels like yesterday? Really? Yeah,
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: it feels like yesterday.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: When you say it feels like yesterday, like the grief.
• 22:44
  Speaker 4: Event, Yeah, the grief and the devastation of not being
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: able to pick up the phone, not being able to call.
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: There's so many moments, especially like when my husband's like
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: on the phone with his mom. When there's so many
• 22:58
  Speaker 4: moments where like the kids will do something and I'll
• 23:00
  Speaker 4: be like, I can't, like, Okay, well, I hope you're
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: seeing it. I hope you just saw that. And I
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: talked to her in a different way, but it's you know,
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: it's different. It feels like yesterday.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Where do you feel like you are with your grief.
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: I feel like I'm in a place of acceptance, like
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: I understand that it's happened, and I understand, like on
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: a logical level, that there's certain things that have changed.
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: I think on a spiritual level, emotional level, my heart
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: is still very broken, you know, and I don't know
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: if that'll ever change.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: I think that through time I'll.
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: Get more used to the new world without her, but
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: I don't think it'll ever mend itself.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: Did you feel supported when she passed?
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: I did feel supported. However, I did not welcome the support.
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: I think people handle tragedy or heartbreak differently, and for me,
• 24:09
  Speaker 4: I really needed to cool up.
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: I wanted to go into my own hole.
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: I wanted to con coon up, like I needed to
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: like put a shield around me and everything else in
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: the world so I could figure out what this new
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: path or life without her was going to be. And
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: I think some people handle it differently. I think some
• 24:27
  Speaker 4: people like welcome the help and they want to talk
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: about it, and they want to like be around.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: People, and they feed off that energy. For me, it
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: wasn't like that.
• 24:37
  Speaker 4: I'm so energetic and I'm so I love being around
• 24:40
  Speaker 4: people so much.
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: When that happened, I went totally opposite. I went inward.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: Did it change the way you thought about work or
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: motherhood or listen?
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: I always say, there's two things now in my life
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: that I realized change you. It's giving life. So when
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: your child is born or burn right, bringing life into
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: this world changed me.
• 25:04
  Speaker 4: Becoming a mother changed me, and losing my mother changed me.
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: Death changed me, And I think those two things changed people.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: So I had.
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: Learned when I gave life, when I became a mother,
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: that the way I viewed my time, my career, all
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: that was different. When the only person who I felt
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: like loved me unconditionally left the earth and death happened,
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: I felt like.
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: There was no more excuses. Time really does matter, right,
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: like time.
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: So yes, time as a mother matters because now my
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: time is important. I need to do this, this and
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: that and multitasking and no, I'm good with that.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: Yes I'll do that.
• 25:54
  Speaker 4: You know, you become a lot more focused in that way.
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: Now it's like the time that you have on this earth.
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: That so time became different for me, like how I
• 26:05
  Speaker 4: saw first it was like multitasking time, right, like becoming
• 26:09
  Speaker 4: a mother. Now it's multitasking time. My time is intentional
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: in what I'm doing and all that stuff. Now it's
• 26:14
  Speaker 4: like cherish the moments because you only have a finite
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: time on this earth. Whether it's eighty years, whether it's
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: sixty years, whether it's however many years, it's finite and
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: it goes by in a blink and we won't even
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: realize it and before you know what, it's done.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: That's what time did for me.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: I understand that. Yeah, you said that your mom gave
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: herself totally to motherhood. Yeah she did, and self care
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: was nonexistent. I know my friends who are new moms,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: that's like one of the biggest things that they talk about. Yeah,
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: what was your experience like when you became a mom?
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: You know what's interesting.
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: I had miscarried the first time, and when I finally
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: had my healthy, beautiful baby girl, I went all into motherhood.
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: I lost every part of myself. I just focused entirely
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: on her, and I think that I was almost consumed
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: with this new life and making sure that it was
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: alive and thriving, and you know, I was doing all
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: the things I was supposed to do just to keep her,
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: you know, happy.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: And I lost a lot of like who I was
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: in that process, and I think that's a hard thing.
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: I think a lot of new mothers go through that
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: journey of what it's like to be able to almost
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: split yourself into two, because so much of you wants
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: to nurture this being and be with this being, But
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: then a lot of you also just instinctively remembers who
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: you are, like who you were, what life was before
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: they were there. And so the marriage of the two
• 27:58
  Speaker 4: right is a really big moment for women and mothers,
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: and how you.
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: Now coexist as one is a journey.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: Well, your podcast is called the cool mom Podcast, So
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: you got your cool back. If you felt like you
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: lost it, you got it back.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: I think that was a way of me like forcing
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: my cool to come back.
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: Literally, No, yeah, I think it was. I've never thought
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: of myself as like cool, you know what I mean.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: That's I'm telling you. I kid you not tires this
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: nice little girl. And I was like, okay, thank you, okay,
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: but no, I never thought of myself as cool. I
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: think I just you know what it is. I never
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: thought of myself as cool.
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: And when I came up with the Cool mom Co,
• 28:41
  Speaker 4: it wasn't me saying like, hey, this is how you
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: have to be cool.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: It was more so me.
• 28:45
  Speaker 4: Saying, hey, cool, Like, let's use that as a way
• 28:48
  Speaker 4: to just be cool in your own skin, comfortable in
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: your own skin, and whatever that is for you, Like
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: it could be whatever your version of that is.
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: But like less identify it as that Cool mom Co
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: because to me, it signals like we're in community. It's
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: not just like me.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: That's right.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. So you said the Cool mom
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: Co is bigger than just a mom blog or even
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: a mom brand. You call it an all inclusive, diversity
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: driven hangout destination for moms. And I've heard you talk
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: about this a lot on other podcasts, that the diversity
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: element to being a mom is not discussed enough. Can
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: you explain your motivation behind that for the brand?
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: During my pregnancy, once I became a mom, I didn't
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: see anything really out there. There was nothing out there
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: that was celebrating one, obviously, the diversity of motherhood. There
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: was nothing out there celebrating black women as mothers, or
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: really any multicultural families as mothers. There was no one
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: out there doing that. It was just it was mostly
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: just one type of mom that were women, and it
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: was like, Hey, this is how we all are, and
• 30:00
  Speaker 4: this is what you should be buying, and this is
• 30:02
  Speaker 4: what you should be wearing, and this is what you
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: should be doing, and this is what and it was nothing.
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: And for me, I was just like, man, what is this?
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: Like I don't see myself in any of this.
• 30:10
  Speaker 4: And so it started off really initially as me just
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: kind of sharing my journey as mother and like motherhood
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: and just being a mom, a working mom and career
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: and like whatever. And then I was like, wait a minute,
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: I get so much from other women and I'm so
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: inspired by other women, and so many other women say
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: this this.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: And they look like amazing and cool in their own right.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: Let's start highlighting us as a community, us.
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: As just a cool mom company that just listen, We're
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: all in this together, and it has to be diversity driven.
• 30:41
  Speaker 4: You have to be able to see yourself in this
• 30:43
  Speaker 4: platform at all times, not just one vision of what
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: that is, not one vision of what motherhood is.
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: And that was important to me.
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: Also, being in LA and obviously coming from New York
• 30:55
  Speaker 4: being raised in Detroit, I've always been around so many
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: types of different ethnicity.
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I've never been around just.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: One type of person, so that was important to me too.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Can you guess the number one most common complaint after
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: any first date, first meeting, or interview, I wish they
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: had asked me more questions. I've studied the art of
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: conversation for a decade, and I know one thing for sure.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: The most interesting thing is to be interested. But sometimes
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: it can be awkward to enter a conversation or you
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: just don't know what to ask. Here's the solution, two words,
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: question everything. This game is like a superpower in your
• 31:45
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• 31:48
  Speaker 2: There are way in I put together a deck.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: Of cards of fifty two of my favorite questions, ones
• 31:55
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• 31:59
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• 32:03
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• 32:06
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• 32:15
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• 32:43
  Speaker 2: Everything is not a game. It's a game changer.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: You have a lot of titles actress, international model, oh wow, wife,
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: business owner, home renovator. What's left that you're still clawing?
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: The sky's the limits it is.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: I mean you're good at that. You really are an
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: expansive thinker.
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: You know what it is.
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: I heard something that Oprah said the other day and
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: she was like, I did not.
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: Know how big I could become.
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: I just followed the light like it was almost she
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: almost was saying it as if this is how I
• 33:21
  Speaker 4: interpreted it.
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: She almost said it as if.
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: Her thought process could not even become as big as
• 33:31
  Speaker 4: what God had intended for her. She would have never
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: even thought this wide and this large and this like high,
• 33:38
  Speaker 4: because this was something that was like beyond her even
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: scope of imagination.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: And I think for me it really touched me because
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna follow
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: the light.
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: Just keep following the light, because I don't know where
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: the world is going to take me all the things
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: that I want to do. I know that I haven't
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: accomplished everything yet and that I have so much more
• 34:01
  Speaker 4: to give, and I'm excited and I love what I
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: do more than ever, and so I just want to
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: follow the light.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: I think that is really good advice. Yabby Bernstein was
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty smart, and she said, she always says this
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: or something better. Yeah, because sometimes your dreams aren't even
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: big enough.
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: For That's right, That's exactly right.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: Do you think that I have to like kids to
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: have kids?
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: No? Really biggest misconception, Okay, because it.
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: Was like for me, I'm half joking, No, you're not.
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: I like you.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: This is the funny part about it, though, because.
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: I remember when I was when I didn't have kids.
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: I wasn't always the one who was like super great
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: around kids, like I love kids and I'm like very
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: like excited to like spend time and like play like
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: I wasn't like stand offish by any means. So I
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: always love children, but I was always nervous around them.
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: When I finally had my own girl, I was like.
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: We're in this, like this is like I can't I
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: can't stop touching them, I can't stop talking to them,
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: I can't stop like being around them and hanging out
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: with them. It'll be when you have your own children.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: Is there one thing that you really want your kids
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: to remember about you the way at the beginning of
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: this conversation you told me about your mom.
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean if my kids just walk away knowing
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: that they are always will, always have always been loved,
• 35:31
  Speaker 4: then they'll never search for that in the wrong places.
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: And that's my biggest thing.
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: I want you to always know that love comes from
• 35:38
  Speaker 4: within you, and love is what you all. You know
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: what love feels like, you know what the right kind
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: of love feels like, so you never search for the
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: wrong type of love.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Maybe you should preach.
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: Just saying I mean, that's what it's about.
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: Okay, rapid fire ready?
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: Uh uh?
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: The best thing about being a mom.
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: Seeing yourself in little people and like seeing life in
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: their eyes, like the world through their eyes.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: What's been the most challenging thing about being a mom?
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: The juggle.
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: It's very challenging knowing that there's times because of like
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: work or other commitments, that you can't make it to
• 36:22
  Speaker 4: every single thing. And so that's heartbreaking when you can't
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: make it to a play or like a basketball.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: Game and they have a great game, or you know.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: Little things at school. It's the juggle that's hard.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: What is your favorite episode of your podcast? You know what,
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to say favorite, thank you, because that's
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: not nice. That's not nice, not nice. And I'm also
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: trying not to say favorite anymore.
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: Okay, why why are you trying not to say favorite anymore?
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: Honest?
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: I started guessing on other people's podcasts, and because I
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: have interviewed people for ten years, the most common question
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: I get is who is your favorite interview of all time?
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: And I was thinking to myself, like that is such
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: a non descriptive word, like what because if you ask
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: me what's the most memorable interview, I can tell you
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: what was the most shocking interview I could tell you,
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: but favorite, Like, what does that even mean?
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's true, you know, yeah, okay, I can understand that.
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: Well, where you had the best experience, that's what I
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: would write a favorite.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: But oh that's a nice interpretation.
• 37:18
  Speaker 3: But I like what you're saying.
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: It's it also gives the viewer a little bit more
• 37:21
  Speaker 4: detail into like what it is about that interview that
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: struck you for that reason?
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: Mm hm yeah.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: As I was sitting here with you, I was listening,
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: You're so thoughtful about your words, Like I can really tell.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: And it's like from a non judgmental place too. And
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: I think the word favorite is just nondescript.
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, I'm with that.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: Okay. So in that vein switching up, switching gears, what
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: is if people haven't listened to the pod yet, what's
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: an episode that you would send them to.
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's a good one if people haven't listened to yours,
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: of course, because it's so like off the radar of
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: what the podcast is.
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: Danielle comes to the podcast Guyschool mom Code even though
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: she's not a mom, But we had such a great
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: conversation about like all the things and things going into
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: motherhood and like fears and you know, it was like
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: egg freezing for till all those things. So that was
• 38:14
  Speaker 3: actually a great conversation.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: Well, just to add on to what you were saying,
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of fears about motherhood and I
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: think some like limiting beliefs. Yeah, and I have certain
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: friends and you do this for me. You make motherhood
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: look really enticing and really beautiful. I know it's not perfect.
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I was gonna say, I do I hope not.
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: I hope we're not doing that.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: No, it's not unrealistic, but you make it look like
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: it could be really fun.
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: You know what it is.
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: It's like you've told me before, like Barbara Walters is
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: like your person, right, yeah, or even Larry King, but Barbara.
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: Walters, because she's a woman.
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: It's almost like Barbara Walters makes it look so easy.
• 38:51
  Speaker 4: Even what you're doing this is so it looks so
• 38:54
  Speaker 4: easy for you, but it takes a lot of work,
• 38:56
  Speaker 4: and it takes a lot of hard work and sacrifice
• 38:59
  Speaker 4: and determine.
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: And it's the same thing with motherhood.
• 39:02
  Speaker 4: You can look at me, you can look at some
• 39:03
  Speaker 4: of your friends, and they're gonna make it look easy
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: because they.
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: Do enjoy it.
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: We love it, We love our children, we love being mothers,
• 39:09
  Speaker 4: but understand that it does take work. It takes hard work,
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: and it takes sleepless nights and tears sometimes.
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's worth it.
• 39:16
  Speaker 4: Just like you sitting right here, right now interviewing me,
• 39:19
  Speaker 4: it's worth it. You're this much step closer to Barbara Walters.
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: I mean, and that's what it's about, right, It's just
• 39:26
  Speaker 4: like the end goal is so like, it's so fun,
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: and that's what as a mother, it's so fun. There's
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: so many fun moments, but the in between is, oh, you.
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: Feel with it. It's there. Yeah, I will say this.
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: I've had a few really great podcasts that I really
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: really really get excited about, and all of them bring
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: something different, just so fun, and that's why I love
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: doing it, and I love talking to people and having
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: these honest conversations. I think that there's a few that
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: stand out.
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: Teas was dope to me Tia Moore, because I feel
• 39:58
  Speaker 4: like she was just so real, so honest.
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: She gave it to me. We talked like we had been.
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: Friends forever, and she really opened up about stuff and
• 40:06
  Speaker 4: I appreciated that Jessica. Jessica album was great because her
• 40:11
  Speaker 4: and I are really good friends, so I could read
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: through any bs and like we kind of like had
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: a random ass podcast and it was just it's just funny.
• 40:20
  Speaker 4: It's just like she was eating on it and I
• 40:22
  Speaker 4: was like, really, you doing this on my podcast and
• 40:24
  Speaker 4: she was my first.
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: One, so I was like, that was a mistake.
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: You were the mistake coming on as my first one
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: because you're just wilding out on my pody like I'm
• 40:33
  Speaker 4: gonna make it asm R.
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: And I was like, we Hana, get out of here.
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: So that was fun. And then I think that the
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: one that of recent Maria Minunos, because her story is
• 40:43
  Speaker 4: so inspiring in the way that she was able to
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: just kind of tell her story in such a positive
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: way but still strong and inspiring and like also her strength, I.
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: Mean, and she also gave tips.
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: She's really big on wellness and her podcast is all
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: about wellness. The way that she was able to lay
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: out tips on how to live a more well life
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: was interesting.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: So I think those are like to those are great episodes.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: I listened to all of them. Really. Yeah, a book
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: that changed your life something you think everybody should read mm,
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: the Alchemist just read that for the first time. Really,
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: I finally read it after like a million years.
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's a good like everyone should read it.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: I agree. Actually, when I interviewed Sweetie, people don't know
• 41:27
  Speaker 1: she was living in her car for years, and she
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: was like, really, people feel like she popped off, and
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: she did it. She worked really hard and she was
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: in a tough spot and she said she read The
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: Alchemist like four times in a year when she was
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: in that car, and she was like, I'm gonna make it.
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna hang these to you. Oh all right, pick
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: a car to any card.
• 41:47
  Speaker 3: Okay, I have the question everything card. Okay, here we go. Okay,
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: when was the last time you felt rejected?
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: Hmmm?
• 41:58
  Speaker 4: Felt rejected? I man, I know people don't think I'm crazy,
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: but I don't know.
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: I don't really feel rejected. I don't know.
• 42:07
  Speaker 4: I don't want it to be like I'm like not human,
• 42:09
  Speaker 4: because I am human. But listen. Rejection is a feeling
• 42:14
  Speaker 4: that I feel like comes when you actually care what
• 42:18
  Speaker 4: other people think. It's the only time you feel rejected
• 42:22
  Speaker 4: right right.
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: Rejection is a.
• 42:24
  Speaker 4: Feeling that comes when you actually give a fuck and
• 42:29
  Speaker 4: I think that through motherhood and life and death. Remember
• 42:33
  Speaker 4: with these things, I told you you stop giving a
• 42:36
  Speaker 4: fuck of what other people think. And I think that
• 42:39
  Speaker 4: is okay, that is only me as a woman, right Like,
• 42:45
  Speaker 4: So how can I feel rejected?
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 42:47
  Speaker 4: That's just my take on it. I feel like I
• 42:50
  Speaker 4: can feel sad at times, I can feel like, oh,
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: like people not giving.
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: Me the response that I want.
• 42:55
  Speaker 4: But rejection, feeling like rejected, that's a very strong feeling,
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: and that is a feeling of choice. And I can't
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: give anybody. I can't make that choice to give anyone
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: else that power to make me feel rejected in this
• 43:11
  Speaker 4: phase of life.
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: I swear you're a pKa. I don't understand how.
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: Pe care how to think about that one.
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: Those preachers can't really have words to share.
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: I'm just saying, don't you feel that way?
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: Well?
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: I think I sometimes feel dejected, okay, and then I
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: get over it pretty quickly because I think in what
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: in our industry, it's like you get a lot of no's,
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: so you can't simmer in it.
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah you can't.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: But I care sometimes still, and it's okay to care,
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: but you really don't give a fuck. I mean, you're
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: not just one of those people who sits there and
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: it is like, I don't get you really don't care,
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: I just because.
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: You know why.
• 43:53
  Speaker 4: I've had no so many times. Oh my god, I've
• 43:56
  Speaker 4: had no so many times. I mean, do D like
• 44:00
  Speaker 4: I was raised with a single mom. Like I just
• 44:03
  Speaker 4: feel like I don't know if we care so much
• 44:08
  Speaker 4: what other people think. We're losing so much time that
• 44:12
  Speaker 4: we have just to feel good about ourselves.
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: I just feel like we don't have the time for it,
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: and especially not now.
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: Time is my thing. Remember, time is my thing. I
• 44:22
  Speaker 4: don't have time for it anymore. So am I gonna
• 44:25
  Speaker 4: be hurt?
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: Sure? Do I feel sad? Sure I'm emotional. I have feelings.
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: But can I care or feel rejected? Novel?
• 44:33
  Speaker 4: Because you know what, at the heart of it, I
• 44:34
  Speaker 4: have everything I need. I have a husband who loves
• 44:37
  Speaker 4: me and supports me. I have brothers and a family
• 44:40
  Speaker 4: who loves me, and I have children who adore me.
• 44:43
  Speaker 4: And I live in my own skin where I feel
• 44:45
  Speaker 4: like I walk in this earth, where I feel proud
• 44:47
  Speaker 4: of my decisions and what I do every day. I
• 44:50
  Speaker 4: feel proud when I wake up and like the actions
• 44:52
  Speaker 4: and how I treat people in this world. I feel
• 44:54
  Speaker 4: proud of me, so I don't have time to feel
• 44:57
  Speaker 4: rejected from anybody else because that's an opinion that you're
• 45:00
  Speaker 4: putting on me. And your opinions cannot matter to me
• 45:03
  Speaker 4: if they are not positive, if they are not walking
• 45:05
  Speaker 4: in my life, or if you're not headed.
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: In the same journey I am. I just can't. I
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: don't have.
• 45:09
  Speaker 4: Time for it anymore because it just you're stifling me.
• 45:13
  Speaker 4: And if you're stifling me, then you're not with me.
• 45:15
  Speaker 4: And if you're not with me, then what are we
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: doing here? What are we doing? You're wasting my time?
• 45:21
  Speaker 4: And time is all I have.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: Time, Time is all I have. Well with that my
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: last question, Okay, what's the smartest decision you've ever made?
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: Getting married and having kids?
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: Smartest decision because for me and the type of person
• 45:40
  Speaker 4: I am, it gave me a support system that I
• 45:45
  Speaker 4: get to live with every day.
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: I get to wake up to it, I get to
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: live with it, I get to go to bed with it.
• 45:51
  Speaker 4: And for me, that's what I need to like be
• 45:55
  Speaker 4: my happiest self. Everything else may fall from the wayside,
• 45:59
  Speaker 4: Friendship may come and go, you know, career opportunities may
• 46:04
  Speaker 4: come and go, but for me, marriage, children, I get
• 46:10
  Speaker 4: to wake up and walk with that and our values
• 46:13
  Speaker 4: and what we carry out into the world every single day,
• 46:16
  Speaker 4: and that's important for me. It's the best decision I've
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: ever made, that's really beautiful.
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: Is okay? You know what time it is. Today's a
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: good day. To have a good day. I'll see you
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: next week.