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What No One Tells You About Narcissists · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  Today we're talking about things that no one tells you about
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  narcissist. Oh, some facts.
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  Well, I don't know. We don't go from the mind of a
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  narcissist. There are things that no one
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  else will tell you about a narcissist other than a
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  narcissist themselves, right? Of course, if you're new here,
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  my name is Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Welcome back folks, Welcome back, welcome back.
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  Yes, things. What are some things that no one
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  tells you about narcissists? Now I know you online, you going
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  to hear a lot of things about narcissists.
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  Let's just go ahead and get that out the way right now.
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  You're going to hear a lot of things about narcissists online.
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  That's just inevitable. It's a like narcissist, probably
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  one of the most searched words in the world.
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  I, I think gaslighting was one of the most searched world word
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  in the world a couple years ago, maybe last year.
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  The one thing you don't hear a lot, it's from the perspective
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  of a narcissist. But what a lot of the things
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  that people don't tell you about narcissists, The first thing
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  that people do not tell you about narcissists, and this is
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  in no particular order, y'all, the first thing is not all
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  narcissists are the same. I said it, I did.
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  I said Oh my goodness no to I I always think of narcissist like
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  fingerprints, right? Just like everybody has
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  fingerprints. No2 fingerprints are the same
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  right? Everybody has fingerprints.
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  Even my 2 fingerprints are not the same, right?
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  My thing, my, my fingerprint on this finger and my fingerprint
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  on this finger are not going to be the same.
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  So no two fingerprints are going to be the same.
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  Just like narcissists. Yes, they are narcissistic
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  people. Yes, they are toxic as hell,
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  yes, but not everybody is going to be the same way.
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  The narcissist. Narcissism in of itself right
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  can be a personality disorder, but it doesn't mean that
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  everybody has the same personality.
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  We all have personalities and they're disordered in a
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  narcissistic way, right? But not everyone, not
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  everybody's going to be the same.
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  That's why when I'm doing videos about cheating, I don't think
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  all narcissists cheat. That's why I do video about not
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  taking care of, you know, situations.
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  Financial abuse. Not every narcissist is going to
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  financially abuse you. You see what I'm saying?
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  Not every narcissist is going to hit you or put their hands on
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  you. Narcissism, narcissism,
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  narcissist are not going to be the same.
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  Which is why a lot of times even when I'm doing my one on ones
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  over Zoom, still available mental illness.net.
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  Even when I'm doing my one on ones over Zoom, I get a lot of
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  people out there, they literally say, hey, Lee, I left one
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  narcissist and I ended up with another one.
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  What the hell happened? I was like, what are the
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  similarities and what are the differences between those
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  people? And they were like, well,
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  they're both narcissist, but they're one is quiet, one is
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  loud. What is this one is that I see.
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  Yeah, they're both narcissistic as hell.
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  You're getting narcissistically abused, but it's in a different
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  way because No2 narcissists are the exact same, right?
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  And then she was like, Oh, my goodness, now I know.
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  So now I'm more aware. Yeah.
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  But there's just one thing that a lot of narcissists, a lot of
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  people won't tell you about narcissists.
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  Right. And this next one I go, I'm
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  going to go over. It's probably going to get us on
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  y'all nervous. It's probably going to piss
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  y'all off. You're probably not going to
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  like me anymore. Let's go ahead and get it out
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  the way right now. Yeah, I'm.
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  I'm prepared to not be liked by you anymore because I already
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  know when I say this. You like.
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  What the hell, Lee? We thought you were cool, you
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  dirty, narcissistic bastard. Now.
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  But seriously, one thing that a lot of people won't tell you
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  about narcissist is that narcissist.
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  So some of them some narcissists, I think can
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  actually love you. Who said that?
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  Oh, I said that didn't now. Oh my goodness, what I say that
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  I I be doing this to myself because when I say stuff like
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  this, I know I have to use a disclaimer or a warning because
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  people will hear me say that it was like, Oh my goodness, I left
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  them because I didn't think they loved me.
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  If you didn't think they loved you, then they probably didn't
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  love you. You see what I'm saying?
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  If you felt love, if you felt loved consistently, you wouldn't
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  be here watching this video. If you felt treated well
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  consistently, you probably wouldn't be here, right?
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  So don't use this with me saying that they might could have loved
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  you as an excuse to break no contact or to go back into
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  toxicity. Don't do that to yourself,
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  right? And don't do that to me because
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  I have been in my conscience. Like Lee, I went back because
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  you said some of them can love and I got no, I did not say go
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  back. I literally did you did you stop
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  the video after I said that? I literally said don't go back
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  if you're out of it, don't go back because if you don't feel
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  safe, you don't feel loved. It's a entirely different story
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  right there, entirely different baseline right there, right.
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  So I would say that right there, some of them can love, but it's
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  like not going to be the deep, passion, intense love that you
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  might be looking for, y'all? A lot of narcissists.
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  I did a video very recently on this.
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  A lot of narcissists show love through a lot of narcissists
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  show love through physicality, through gifts, through giving
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  you things, through just being with you, just living together.
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  Hey, we live together. That means that Levy, right?
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  No, but that's how some of them show love right there.
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  That's literally it. I'm not saying that they most
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  narcissist, I don't think have the capacity to get deep in the
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  love thing. They can't get deep, deep, deep
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  in the emotional spectrum of love.
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  But they can go surface level stuff, right?
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  Is ask yourself, before you take this information and twist it in
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  your minds, ask yourself, is surface level love enough?
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  And if you say yes, it's part of time to talk to a therapist.
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  You see what I'm saying? Why are you willing to accept
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  surface level stuff as opposed to leaving this person alone?
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  That's something we have to battle right there.
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  There's some there's a personal battle that you have going on
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  right there when you're willing to accept so much less just to
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  have this person. You see what I'm saying?
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  Come on now, we got, we got, we got to wake up.
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  I'm not, I'm not victim blaming. I'm just saying, hey, it's time
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  to wake up because this person is not going to treat you better
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  because it's not a prerequisite. It's not it's not required to
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  treat you better. Why would they do something that
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  they don't have to do right? The next thing right here,
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  y'all, some can love their children.
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  I said that some narcissists can love and care about their
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  children. A lot of times what ends up
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  happening is when the children come along, the narcissist
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  changes more and they start taking whatever love that they
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  were giving you. They take that fully away from
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  you and they give that little bit to the children, right?
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  They only spend time with the kids.
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  They ignore you. They do all this type of stuff
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  right here. That's what would be going on.
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  That's what this will be happening in a lot of these
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  relationship dynamics, right? You and you experienced that,
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  like some of them can care about about their kids.
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  That's just like, Hey, that's just me telling you the factual
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  information that I have in my own mind.
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  And what anecdotally, because I think I, I haven't done any kind
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  of scientific method or some type of testing.
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  They're like, no, this is anecdotal, right?
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  But this is from my mind and this is what I've seen.
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  This is what I've noticed. This is what when I'm talking to
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  other, I do talk to narcissists on zoom as well, right?
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  So when I'm talking to them, I said the same thing comes up.
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  So this is another thing right here, right?
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  So some can love their children, but is that little bit of
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  surface level love enough for you to stay in a relationship?
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  You know what I'm saying? You have to take you have to
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  kind of take with a grain of salt right there.
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  The next thing gal I have right here.
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  I think I'm kind of, I kind of touched, touched on this
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  earlier, but not all narcissists are physically abusive, right?
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  I do believe that all narcissists are emotionally
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  abusive in some way, shape or form.
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  And yes, that includes me. Lee Hammock.
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  You know, I'm not proud of what I'm saying.
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  I, I have been emotionally abusive.
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  Woo. I'm not saying it like that, am
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  I? No, I'm saying yes, I'm not a
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  physical abuser. I do the emotional stuff.
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  I emotionally Maleficent. I did, I did that type of stuff
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  for a very long time. Like I'm out of the emotional
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  abuse game, y'all, but I retired my shoe.
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  I threw my y'all might not be from the hood.
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  Like I threw my shoes over the power line and they're hanging
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  on the power line right now. I threw my little emotional
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  narcissistic abuse shoes over the power line.
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  I'm done with that life. You see what I'm saying?
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  But yeah, not all of them are physically abusive.
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  Now, can some of them do a lot of them have the propensity to
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  get physical abusive? Yes.
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  If they're throwing things at you, if they're throwing things
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  around you, if they're threatening to put their hands
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  on you, they can and most times will get physically abusive.
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  If the, if the emotional abuse is not working, if they feel
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  like it's not working to up up to their standards, yes, a lot
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  of them will get physically abusive.
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  That's the way. That's the kind of the
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  narcissist code right there, right?
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  That's what you go through. That's what you experience.
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  But not all of them are physically abuse.
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  Not all of them will walk up to you and punch you in the mouth.
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  A lot of them will just give you the silent treatment raise just
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  you do all kinds of things like that.
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  So not all of them are going to be physically assault you, but
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  they emote they will. They are narcissists are
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  emotionally violent people, right, Especially the the overt
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  ones and the narcissist the great is then they're palpable
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  in that situation right there. Another thing I have written
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  down right here, y'all is they know the difference in right and
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  wrong. I feel like that kind of goes
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  without saying. So many people ask me, like, did
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  Lee, do narcissists know what they're doing?
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  Yeah, they yeah, they do know the difference between right and
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  wrong. I don't care what people say.
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  Like they know that if they know that they're treating you badly.
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  Now, do they know? Why do they know?
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  Do they know that they're a narcissist?
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  No, probably not, right. They probably don't know that
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  that word is attached to them even if you called them a
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  narcissist. But I think most of them know
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  that they have. I think most of them know the
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  difference between right and wrong, which is why they don't
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  tell people what they have done, which is why they tell tell you
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  don't tell people what what y'all been through.
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  Hey, I know I've done you, I know we've been through some
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  things, but can you not tell everybody what happened?
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  Can you keep this between us? Why you want to keep it between
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  us? If it's if you don't think it's
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  wrong, why you want to hide it or if you don't think it's
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  wrong, why are you telling people that I did it to you,
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  right? If you don't think it's wrong,
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  why are you not posting about it online?
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  You posted you posted that you gave me flowers you posted that
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  you bought me a PlayStation, right?
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  You posted that you bought me some Cologne, right?
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  But you're not going to post this other stuff you've been
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  doing online if that's because you know the difference between
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  right and wrong. You know that you know what's
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  going to get you praise and validation versus what's going
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  to get you ostracized and, you know, attacked and shamed.
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  Yeah. So they do know the difference
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  between right and wrong, y'all? Now, are there some oblivious
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  narcissists out there that don't know the difference between
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  right and wrong? I feel like those are
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  psychopaths. They're very dangerous people,
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  and they don't care if they don't care about right and
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  wrong. Those are very dangerous people
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  and the very hard to get get rid of that type of person to leave
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  that person alone. Those type people that hide in
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  the bushes, right? You have to be very careful
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  leaving a that type of narcissist.
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  I'll say it like that, right? The next thing on my list, it
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  might be the last one is the last one OK?
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  It says every relationship is different and the same leave.
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  What the hell are you talking about?
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  Every relationship is different but also the same because like I
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  said earlier, No2 narcissists are the same right?
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  So no two relationships are going to be the same.
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  Yes, you can take person A and person B.
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  Both of them are in relationships with narcissists,
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  but both of their relationships look different.
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  Both of their relationships are handled differently.
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  Person A has a narcissist that threw them through, try to throw
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  them through a wall and hit them with a car and yells and screams
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  and throws shit at them, right? Person B has a passive
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  aggressive covert narcissist. They're gaslight you, manipulate
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  you, make you feel like try to to play the victim, things of
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  that nature, right, right, right.
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  Both of y'all are dealing with narcissists.
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  They're both on the spectrum of narcissism, but they're both
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  different, but it's still the same.
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  It's narcissistic abuse. It's all under the umbrella of
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  narcissistic abuse. It's all under the umbrella of
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  toxic relationship dynamics, right?
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  So yes, it's narcissistic abuse, emotional emotional abuse.
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  All this stuff is going to keep happening like this, y'all, I
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  promise you. This is the mentality, this is
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  the mindset. This is what a lot of people are
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  going to experience. So I feel like just keep it
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  going. As you keep moving forward, as
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  you keep growing, as you keep healing, that's things you have
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  to consider right there, right? Because it's going to be the
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  same. And yes, it's the same because
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  it's narcissistic abuse, but it's different because people
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  are different. People are different races,
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  ethnicities, religions, spirituality, all the, you know,
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  people socio economic background.
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  Some people are rich, some people are are poor.
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  You know what I'm saying? Some people have everything,
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  some people are fighting for it. You see what I'm saying?
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  So yeah, both of y'all, you can have, I could be dealing with a
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  poor narcissist and you have a rich narcissist, but we're both
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  getting narcissistical abuse. We're both with narcissist.
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  So watch out for that as well, y'all, as you continue on your
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  healing and growth journey, y'all.
• 12:46
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  The very first episode is live. I talked to a woman named
• 13:01
  Natalie. She survived narcissistic abuse
• 13:03
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