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The Story Behind The Guiding Parent: How Understanding Leads to Intentional Parenting · The Inspired Speaker Network

• 0:00
  Welcome to the Guiding Parent Podcast,
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  where you'll find the mindset and tools
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  to parent with greater confidence, clarity, and purpose,
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  even when there aren't any easy answers.
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  Together, we're going to explore
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  how to better nurture and guide our children,
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  to support who they are and who they're becoming,
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  so that they can fulfill their unique potential
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  and thrive in our ever-changing world.
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  I'm Tammy Ulrich, your host,
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  parenting and early childhood educator,
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  mom, and most fun, Gammy.
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  And I'm Shannon, your co-host.
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  I'm Tammy's daughter and mom
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  to a very energetic little dude called H.
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  We're glad you're here.
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  Let's get started.
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  Welcome to our very first podcast.
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  We're so excited that you're here.
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  If you're looking for a better way
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  to nurture and raise your child,
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  to understand what's going on
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  in those little minds and bodies,
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  and to be able to confidently and intentionally
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  navigate whatever arises,
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  regardless of the situation, the age, or the stage,
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  you're in the right place.
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  We're here to support you on your parenting journey.
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  In these first couple of episodes,
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  we're gonna share a little bit about ourselves
• 1:00
  and some of our own journey,
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  and a bit of an overview of the guiding mindset principles
• 1:04
  that support our becoming guiding parents.
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  So you can get to know us a little bit
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  and the framework that we apply to parenting.
• 1:11
  Then in future episodes,
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  we'll be all about navigating those parenting moments
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  that we all share with practical tools
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  that allow us to parent with greater ease, peace, and joy.
• 1:22
  So mom, can you tell us what brought you
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  to this moment of starting a podcast?
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  Oh, I've been working with children and families forever
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  for most of my life, 40 plus years.
• 1:33
  And I am absolutely passionate
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  about making a difference for children and families.
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  I truly do believe that each child
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  is just this amazing little being
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  with unlimited potential and possibility.
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  And I just think how different we would all be,
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  how different our world would be
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  if we grew up with our needs met,
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  able to be our full selves,
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  and fulfill that vast potential
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  that we all come into the world with.
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  And so that's what I want for our kids.
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  You know, I've wanted to work with kids
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  as long as I can remember,
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  you know, start a school someday.
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  Except for that brief little time
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  when I was gonna be a ballerina.
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  But other than that, you know, that's been my dream.
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  And I grew up a Montessori child.
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  My dad was an educator
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  and he was actually the administrator
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  of the Montessori school that I went to.
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  And so then later when I went to college,
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  I got reintroduced to Montessori
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  and the instructor in those courses is just my mentor.
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  She was incredible and she is really the one
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  that just passed that flame, so to speak.
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  So, you know, I was taking her classes
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  and, you know, this was it.
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  You know, this was the direction I was gonna go.
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  And then I got my first job and I got fired.
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  So I was devastated.
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  It's like, oh my God, you know,
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  this is what I'm supposed to do.
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  And I, you know, I got fired.
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  And thankfully for Nancy,
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  she, you know, she was like, nope, that's not the issue.
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  So the reason I got fired was because we had
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  a little spicy boy who just, you know,
• 3:00
  didn't do what he was supposed to
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  and was kind of the problem child.
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  So they took me and a couple other of the adults
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  into this small little room
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  and I was supposed to talk to this child.
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  So I got down on his level and I talked to him.
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  And instead of doing what they expected of me,
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  I failed to make him understand that I was the boss
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  and, you know, be very clear on how he was to behave
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  and who was the boss here.
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  And so they fired me.
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  But it also was one of my very first experiences
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  was seeing that the way we've been raising
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  and educating our kids, it isn't ideal.
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  It's not, you know, that's how so many of us were raised.
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  How so many of us see parenting is, you know,
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  we've got to let kids know we're the boss
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  and this is, they need to do what they're told.
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  But, you know, in this situation,
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  nobody was trying to understand the child.
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  Nobody was trying to figure out what's going on with him.
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  Instead it was just make sure he knows who's boss.
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  So luckily Nancy was there
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  and she actually hired me to work at her school.
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  And which was an amazing experience
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  and I went on to work at other schools.
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  And then you came along Shannon
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  and, you know, still I had this dream
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  that I was gonna have this school
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  but now I had to balance, okay,
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  now I've got this little person,
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  so how am I gonna be a mom?
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  And launch this dream at the same time.
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  But it all came together and I started Child's View
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  where I was the administrator and everything else,
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  teacher, janitor, you know, bottle washer,
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  all the things for 24 years,
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  working with children and families.
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  And along the way, you know,
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  your little brother came along
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  and, you know, I felt like you guys
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  were pretty much raised at the school.
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  We kind of almost lived there.
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  Then, you know, along the way I became a single mom
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  and so that was a whole nother experience.
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  And I remarried, got two more wonderful kids
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  out of the deal.
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  But now I was navigating co-parenting
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  and was able to see the perspective
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  of both the custodial parent and the non-custodial parent.
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  And so that's, you know, that was a very eye-opening
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  and helps to really consider with empathy
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  what we're all going through in those kind of situations.
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  But, you know, all the way along we had the school
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  and it was really cool because
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  all of the kids worked at the school
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  at some time or another.
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  They either went to the school
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  or they worked at the school in some way.
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  And one of my very favorite times
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  was when the summer when you were finally old enough
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  to be a true assistant.
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  And so you were my assistant
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  and we had your brother as our,
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  he wasn't old enough,
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  but he was too old for the summer elementary program.
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  So he was our aid or, you know,
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  he thought of it more as he was the gopher.
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  So I got to work this whole summer with the two of you
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  and it was just so amazing.
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  And, you know, you were like the best assistant
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  that I ever had in all of that time.
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  But anyway, since finally the time came
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  for me to leave Child's View
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  and since leaving Child's View
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  I've been teaching early childhood education
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  and parenting courses at a local community college
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  and facilitating courses and workshops
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  for both parents and educators,
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  as well as consulting and doing some parent coaching.
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  Started the Guiding Mindset to support parents
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  as well as a sister site for educators
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  called Educating the Essence.
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  Now I'm also working on the Guiding Parent book
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  that will be out soon.
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  And so now here we are
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  and I'm so excited that we're launching
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  this podcast together.
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  So I know you're excited about this too.
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  What brings you to this moment?
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  So, I mean, obviously you just said like
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  this has been your philosophy since before I existed.
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  And so I kind of joke,
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  like I got the beta version of the Guiding Mindset
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  before it had a name, before it was fully fleshed out.
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  And so, yeah, being parented this way
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  makes me really passionate
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  about making sure that other parents are aware
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  of this kind of a parenting philosophy.
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  This is how I parent my own child.
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  And I'm able to see just kind of the difference
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  in my parenting peers
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  and how sometimes they're meeting challenges
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  or struggling and seeing if they just had
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  a little bit more information,
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  the difference that it could potentially make.
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  But I still have times where I have to call my mommy
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  and mom, walk me through this.
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  How do I better handle this particular scenario?
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  And so, yeah, I mean, we literally have these conversations
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  weekly, if not more frequently.
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  And so it feels like the podcast
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  is just sort of an extension of these conversations
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  that we're already having
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  as I navigate my own parenting journey.
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  And to me, it's really important that,
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  again, my parenting peers have access to information
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  that can really help ease their process of being a parent
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  and just their family culture and all of that
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  can be a little bit more easeful.
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  And I want my kid to grow up with peers
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  that are well-adjusted
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  and have had positive parenting.
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  And I love my mom.
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  So I'm here to support her.
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  And I love that we get to do this together.
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  Me too.
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  I'm really excited.
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  You mentioned having greater ease
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  and that's really something that
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  the guiding mindset is all about.
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  That's kind of our thing is that
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  you'll be able to parent with greater ease, peace and joy.
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  I think it's really important that we differentiate
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  between ease and easy.
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  I mean, parenting is hard.
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  It's not easy.
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  So ease doesn't mean that,
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  all of a sudden it's gonna be easy peasy
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  and no more challenges or troubles.
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  It means you'll just have a whole lot less flailing around
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  wondering what the heck do I do now
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  or going down the wrong direction
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  that just causes you more difficulty
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  and more stress and angst.
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  So thinking about those other pieces,
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  we have ease, peace and joy.
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  Having that peace just reflects
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  that we're gonna have a sense of calm,
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  less struggle, less conflict,
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  as well as that's also something that's possible
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  for ourselves in our world
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  is to have a more peaceful feeling.
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  I believe when kids have this ability
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  to be raised in this way.
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  And I really want to see so much joy
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  being brought to parents
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  so that we're actually enjoying our children
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  and enjoying our lives together.
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  So the difference really is that it's not necessarily easy,
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  but we know what to do.
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  And so we still have those challenges,
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  but we can work through them
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  with intention and with confidence.
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  I feel like, yeah, you can totally love your child.
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  You can love parenting and still be exhausted by it,
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  still find it challenging.
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  There's obviously, I think for every parent,
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  there's times of the day,
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  there's different things that you just don't love.
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  I know for me, like don't love bedtime transition,
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  but that one has been one that,
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  for my kids entire life has been a dicey part of our day.
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  And so we're hoping that we can help you move
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  from dreading those kinds of times
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  of your parenting journey
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  into just having them be another part of your day.
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  Maybe it never becomes your favorite part of the day,
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  but it's not something that you have to dread anymore.
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  Right, absolutely.
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  Yeah, I feel like also, our world has changed so much
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  and we need to change with it.
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  So many of us were parented
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  with kind of this old way of thinking
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  and those ideals just really don't work anymore
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  in today's world.
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  Or we didn't like how we were parented,
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  so we've gone in exactly the opposite direction,
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  which hasn't worked either.
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  So we really need a different type of mindset.
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  So this just gives us the opportunity to have conversations
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  so we can better understand what our kids need.
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  So they'll be successful in today's world.
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  And that also, how we can deal
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  with today's parenting challenges
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  with practical strategies and tools.
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  As we change and nurture and guide our kids,
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  we change what's possible for them,
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  for ourselves and ultimately the world.
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  So it takes a village
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  and we just really wanna be a part of your village.
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  We're really lucky my mom has this amazing experience
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  and expertise on early childhood
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  and family structures and all of that.
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  For this entirety of her career,
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  I really feel like she's been advocating for kids
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  and what they need and creating circumstances
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  for the best amount of their development
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  to ensure that they really can become
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  the best versions of themselves.
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  She's got four kiddos included and now two grandbabies.
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  Who aren't really babies anymore.
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  That's true.
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  Yes.
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  You know, and you've been living this, you know,
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  but the thing about it is you're right there in the trenches.
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  You know, you're living and breathing this
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  every single day.
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  So, you know, you bring those real challenges
• 12:33
  that parents are experiencing every day.
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  So we get to work through them together
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  and together we'll find solutions
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  that fits everybody involved.
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  The child, the family, and the child and the parents
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  and the family as a whole.
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  So that everybody's needs are met.
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  And, you know, it's not just about how do we make,
• 12:55
  you know, do things for our child
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  or not thinking about them and just doing what parents want,
• 13:01
  but really making a nice cohesive way that, you know,
• 13:05
  where the whole family is supported
• 13:06
  and is having their needs met.
• 13:10
  So next episode, we're going to dig briefly
• 13:13
  into what those guiding mindset principles are.
• 13:16
  And then you'll have those to kind of,
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  as kind of a reference.
• 13:19
  And then all the upcoming episodes,
• 13:21
  we're going to dig right into the issues
• 13:23
  and challenges that we all deal with.
• 13:26
  So we hope you'll join our village
• 13:28
  and join the conversation.
• 13:30
  Let us know what you want to talk about,
• 13:33
  because, you know, we want to talk about
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  what you want to hear and what those difficulties are
• 13:37
  that you're experiencing.
• 13:39
  So give us your parenting challenges
• 13:42
  and you'll find all the links in the show notes
• 13:44
  to follow along and subscribe.
• 13:47
  We'll see you next episode.