Latest / Arrivals: A Birth Story Podcast / 11 pound babies, shoulder dystocia, cervical swelling, trusting your body, and joyful birth

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11 pound babies, shoulder dystocia, cervical swelling, trusting your body, and joyful birth · Arrivals: A Birth Story Podcast

• Merelise Wilson: as much time as you have to give, will take. But I don't know if there was like, since you have had four babies, if there's one that you want to focus on more than the other, like not focus on, but you know what I mean? One story. It's up to you. if you want to go into detail, extensive detail for all four of them, I would love that too, but it's just totally up to you. Okay. Yay. All right. ⁓ hello and welcome to the Arrivals podcast. I'm host, Merelise Wilson. And today I have the amazing mom, actress, author, business owner, probably a million other things. Sarah Wright Olsen with me today. I'm so excited. The Mother Daze: Yay. Hi. Thanks for having me. It's so funny to be on a podcast and you have a podcast because I'm like, ⁓ I'm supposed to like intro. No, I'm not. Are you supposed to ask a question? No, I'm not. I was like, I'm just here. I'm just here. Merelise Wilson: I know. I know. I know. Feel free to go like, hello, hello if it makes you feel better. The Mother Daze: Hello, hello. Welcome to Raffles. Merelise Wilson: I love it. love it. Yes. In case you didn't pick up on that, Sarah has an amazing podcast with called the Mother Days that I love. And that's how we got connected. The Mother Daze: Thank you. Yes, so Merelise did our women's circle and it was so special. We met so many amazing women, we that's how we came together and that's why I'm here today is because I was like, of course I'll do your podcast. Let's do it. Merelise Wilson: well, I think I told you this when we were talking about, together. Like Mother Daze has played a huge role in me starting this podcast because ⁓ when I was pregnant with first ⁓ and I decided I kind wanted to have like a more natural, like low ⁓ intervention birth, I didn't have ton of friends who done that. ⁓ And so I found you found Teresa and The Mother Daze And I kind of felt like you guys became my. ⁓ The Mother Daze: Mmm. Merelise Wilson: like birth besties before I knew a lot of other people who had kind of like pursued that route. I, you know, so many of the resources and people that I like now talk about and love, like, I mean, Ina May, Dr. Berlin like, I mean, I could go on and on, like all of those incredible people I heard about through you guys. So it feels so full circle to have you today. ⁓ know. The Mother Daze: Mmm. Mmm. That's so crazy. Yes. Well, thank you. I'm honored to be here and ⁓ I've had four babies. So ⁓ I will share a little bit about all of them, all of their journeys. Yeah. Merelise Wilson: I would love that. Amazing. So Wyatt is how old now? The Mother Daze: Okay, so my oldest is 12. That's Wyatt and then I have Esme. Winter Esme is nine and winter is five and then ocean is like nine months almost 10 months now. Yeah, which is wild. Merelise Wilson: Okay. Yeah. The Mother Daze: But I got pregnant with Wyatt when I was 29 and he was like a kind of a big baby. He was growing, you know. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: like on the bigger side, ⁓ he's two weeks ahead and whatever, you know, and I was learning a lot about pregnancy and about. motherhood during that pregnancy. had done research before. I had a great OBGYN who had said like, hey, you should be taking prenatals like well in advance before you get pregnant. So I was I felt like I was, you know, getting prepared before it happened. And then when it happened, ⁓ I was like, OK, here we go. And I started learning a lot about like products I was putting on my body and food that I was ingesting. And like I started drinking these green smoothies every day. And I was like trying to eat organic. I was avoiding certain things and I remember meeting ⁓ Dr. Berlin at the time and I had like caught I've been coughing because of I've had a good cold or something and I had like dislodged a rib when I was pregnant and so somebody was like ⁓ you should go in and see dr. Berlin and so I went and saw him he helped me so much Merelise Wilson: Mm. The Mother Daze: Yes, he's a chiropractor. And he was working on my rib and he was talking to me about my birth plan. And I was like, I don't know. I have this doctor. I guess I'm just sort of going to like, you know, I think I want to do it natural. Like, I think I'll just like figure it out. And he was like, I think you should like do a little bit more research. I think you should like. look into this a little further. You know, have you seen this? Have you watched that? Have you read this? You know, and so I had start, I think I had told him at the time I'd seen The Business of Being Born I was like so fascinated by it, but I was like, I don't know any buddy here that's a midwife. And he was like, I do. ⁓ so ⁓ he connected me with some people and then that led to my decision to have my first baby at home. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: And so that is a long story in itself, but I will just leave it with it was really tough. You know, your first first baby is generally speaking, it's usually a longer process. This is the first time your body's doing it. And ⁓ you know, you're Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: Your body's learning, you're learning. There's this whole negotiation that happens as they talk about negotiation between your body and your baby where they're sort of like, you know, working, trying to figure out how to work together to get the baby to come down and come out. And there's so much mental that goes into it with the physical. And I was game on, ready for anything. I was like, Where do want me to go? What do you want me to do? It was like, you know, go walk outside for two hours. You're only four centimeters dilated. OK, great. Go walk outside. Do it. Come back inside. I'm in labor and I'm nothing's happened. No movement on, you know, stayed at this like four centimeters place. This continued on for like a very long ⁓ labor and pushing and the pushing got complicated because the baby was getting stuck. Merelise Wilson: Mm. The Mother Daze: And so ⁓ this is a moment in which I had a very prepared partner. I'm sort of speeding through this first one because I want to get you to the other two. And this is kind of like Cliff's Notes, OK? If you want to hear more birth stories of mine, there's a whole episode. But these are like Cliff's Notes, OK? So my partner was ⁓ reading the books and watching the things and everything that I had done throughout my pregnancy. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah, there's a whole episode, yes. The Mother Daze: he knew about Ina May Gaskin and he knew about the Gaskin maneuver that she was famous for. When a baby gets ⁓ you turn them over, you turn the mom over on hands and knees and it helps to shift the pelvis and then it can help to dislodge the ⁓ shoulder that's stuck underneath the bone, ⁓ And Merelise Wilson: And is it specific for shoulder dystocia or does it help just general? Okay, got it. Probably helps generally, Yeah. The Mother Daze: Yes. Well, it for sure can help. Like if you think about gravity and like positioning and you know, squatting is so good, helping get baby out. I think probably the toughest position for me is on my back. And it makes sense. I'm like shooting a baby like down and out and up, you know, so like the especially when you have a big baby. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Right, exactly. The Mother Daze: It's a lot to get them out and ⁓ you know, no matter what you do at some point, baby has to come through and come out the other side and sometimes that can be ⁓ more difficult if they're really big, but totally doable. mean, I believe your body and you know. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: Creates a baby your baby grows inside of you and your body should be able to push your baby out Right like size wise I do believe like, you know, there's a lot of fear around. no, my baby's getting really big should I You know do something else instead and it's like well, I don't know. How do you feel? Like I was never afraid of it I was like, ⁓ baby's big great. I'm sure my body knows what to do I mean, that's the baby it created inside of it, you know, and so ⁓ Anyway, my husband Merelise Wilson: Right. Yeah. Right, right. The Mother Daze: was very familiar with the Gaskin maneuver. Baby's stuck. And everybody in the room kind of freezes. And it's like, ⁓ no. And my husband goes, we have to do the Gaskin maneuver. And which is so awesome. And they turned me over and my doula, Ana Paula Markel, who's so awesome, she's like in my ear. And to me, it sounded really loud. But if you watch it back on the video, was so quiet. She's like, mama. Merelise Wilson: What a badass, I love it. Yeah. The Mother Daze: this baby's been in there for a long time. You need to go in and you need to push this baby out. You know, so I was just like, OK. And this is after like four hours of pushing. I just like went deep inside of me and I pushed with every last thing that I had left in me after like 30 hours of, you know, labor. And the baby came out and it was. So transformative and that's why I just wanted to start with that because I think everything that I fell in love with about motherhood about ⁓ Just like my purpose on this earth and ⁓ Myself like understanding who I am and and what I want to do and be and it all started there Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: And it really was like the hardest thing I've ever done. as he came out and was put on my body, ⁓ everyone in the room, I think, had a different experience. It was very intense for some of my friends that were there. It was a little traumatizing for them. ⁓ me, it was like ⁓ animalistic. I was not in my logical brain, so it wasn't like traumatizing for me in the moment by any means. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: was more like, wow, I did that. I can't believe I did that. And thank god this baby's here and safe and I'm safe. so ⁓ after some discussion with my midwife, who I had, she kind of said to me in the after hours of that, Merelise Wilson: Right? It's pure relief. Yeah. The Mother Daze: that I was going to probably have a lot more babies. She's like, you have a lot of spirits around you. ⁓ And she was like, but I do feel like your babies are going to be pretty big. And I think you should just consider maybe, you know, she was she was kind one of those midwives that were that aired on the side of ⁓ caution and was more like conservative. She was like, I think you should do it in a hospital just to be safe as you go through your next, you know. Merelise Wilson: I love it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: pregnancies. And so I was like, Okay, yeah, I mean, it's not that I wasn't, huh. He was like almost 10 pounds. So wasn't anything crazy, right? It was just like, yeah, he was big, but I mean, compared to my other babies, he wasn't, you know, so ⁓ spoiler alert. But yeah, so I was like, Okay, so if babies get bigger, great. I wasn't necessarily like afraid of the hospital. It's just the Merelise Wilson: And how much did Wyatt end up weighing? Yeah, well. Yeah. That's true. That's true. Yeah, spoiler alert. ⁓ The Mother Daze: My experience with the hospital had always been people being very sick and people dying. And so ⁓ I grew up in a family where my dad was a pastor. He did a lot of hospital visits. The hospital was a really sad place for me. So I think I struggled with how do I find joy in this place? Like, am I going to feel comfort in this place? I've spent a lot of time watching people suffer and I don't know if I can do it. So. I ended up talking with a doctor when I was pregnant with my next baby, Esme. I ended up meeting a doctor Anna Paula, my doula, who's amazing. She's connected me with so many incredible people. She even connected me with our nanny, who has been with us for 10 years. She's amazing. ⁓ ⁓ she connects me with this doctor who's no longer with us. He ended up dying a few years ago, which was so heartbreaking. He's very, very young. But she connected me with Dr. Goldberg and I met him and I sat in his office and I was like, let's see how this goes. I've never thought that I would sit opposite a male OBGYN. I was like, we'll see. He comes and he's so disarming. He was like the loveliest human and he's like, hi, so nice to meet you. Sit down, let's chat. And I was just like, OK, this place takes insurance. I'm pretty sure he's going to be in and out. Merelise Wilson: Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Mother Daze: I'm like, people don't spend a whole lot of time with you when they have to like get people through, right? And so he was so lovely. He sat with me for a long time. He asked me about my first birth. I told him the whole story and it took a while. ⁓ And then I talked to him about the baby getting stuck. I talked to him about my cervix. What I left out is that my cervix was swelling in that first ⁓ birth. And ⁓ I was like, what would you do? Merelise Wilson: Right. Yeah. ⁓ yeah. Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: for you, like my midwife was helping to hold back my cervix. Like what would you do if my cervix was swelling with like the SNX baby? And he's like, well, I would, I would hold your cervix back and I would help you push like the baby would, you would push the baby through while my hand was up there and we could get that baby out. And he's like, and I was like, you wouldn't try to like give me an episiotomy if like there was an issue or like, you know, use the vacuum. And he was like, no, not if you don't need any of those things. Of course not. And I was like, And so Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: I just was like, I told him everything that I really wanted and hoped for, and he listened and he was so lovely. And so I had no idea what I was about to embark on, meaning in this is why I'm going to say this, but after I found out was pregnant with my second, my dad became ill and he was it was pretty clear that he probably wasn't going to survive. he had multiple things happening at one time where some of his organs were starting to shut down and he had to go on like a feeding tube and he was you know ⁓ really I was hopeful but I think I it took me a minute to realize that this wasn't gonna happen like he wasn't gonna pull through this ⁓ But I told him, ⁓ I'm pregnant. know, we went home for Christmas and we were like, we're pregnant. We're having another baby, you know, and he was just like, ⁓ I got to stay. I got to be here for that baby. And I'm like, you got to be here for the baby, dad, you know. And then ⁓ the next month he was getting worse. He's losing a lot of weight. The next month I started flying in like weekly and then because they lived in Arizona and I live in California. And so I started to realize that he needed to be on hospice. I ended up ⁓ helping that situation and hospices end of life care, if you don't know. ⁓ And usually it's like if you have six months or less to live, then you go on hospice. And he was very ⁓ game on for hospice. He felt that was the right thing for him to and. My mom and I and my brother, we all took care of my dad in those months. But when I would go back to LA with my family, with my son, ⁓ with my husband, you know, it was I was caring a lot and I was pregnant and I was like, you know, scared of what was happening inside of me. Was that going to affect the baby? I was feeling a lot of grief. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: And we were just like going, I was going through so much and I had this amazing doctor who I would start to tell him a little bit of my story. What was going on with my dad? He would sit in that room every time I was there and listen and he was so loving. I mean, I could cry thinking about it, but he would like hug me and, know, just like, Hey, you know, I think. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: I do think you should really talk to someone. He was very supportive of me seeking therapy. ⁓ And I was like, yeah, I think I should too. I'm worried. ⁓ I was feeling a lot of ups and downs. And ⁓ I say all of that because I think so much of the things that happened during our pregnancy ⁓ also play a role in our births. And so my dad ended up dying when I was about Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: six months pregnant with my daughter and and my partner was incredible through the whole process. I mean, it could not you couldn't ask for better support because he would show up in every possible way you could imagine. And we ended up taking some trips and we did some things afterwards to just kind of like helped me to heal. And then as we prepared for the birth, it was a lot of conversations with our doctor just like, know, about, OK, I want to make sure I'm saying all these things out loud. Like, obviously, this pain, like this grief is going to come up during the birth. Right. Like I'm going to be grieving and and I'm to be thinking about my dad and like, will he be in the room? Like, you know, like from the other side. And. And so. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: You know, my daughter was measuring very big and I was like, here we go. You know, somebody else telling me that she's going to be so large and I ended up having a ⁓ ultrasound. ⁓ gosh, probably I don't remember which one it was. It's probably like five to eight weeks before the baby comes right and. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: They were like, wow, she's on track to be like 11 pounds, you know, you just so you know. And then my doctor was like, why would you tell her that? And ⁓ and I was like, it's OK. I'm OK. I think if if my if this is the baby that my body made, like this is supposed this baby supposed to be here. Right. And so it's to come come out and be OK. And so I just put my ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. The Mother Daze: like put hope forward and and just decided that the best way for me to approach this birth was to approach the birth with joy. I needed to like call in every every single contraction that would come. We call them rushes on the Mother Days, but every rush that would come. ⁓ I really wanted to to just focus on joy. Merelise Wilson: Mm. Hmm. The Mother Daze: I wanted to I'd read about like orgasmic births, not like sexually orgasmic, but I'm thinking like orgasmic, like I wanted to feel like all those amazing hormones as you know, as I'm having these contractions and these big waves and feelings. And so ⁓ I wanted that. I was calling that in, you know, and and embracing it. Yeah. And so for for me that night, Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Right. Mm. embracing it. Yeah. The Mother Daze: that I went into labor with my daughter. I told my husband that I think I'm in labor. And I was like, but go back to sleep because I'm going to like take a bath and, you know, shower and whatever and I'll wake you up. And he was like, OK. And and so we kind of had a plan of how we were going to do everything. And and I just went and I laid in that bathtub and I kind of rolled from one side to the other. And I remember just The moon over the water was so beautiful. remember focusing in on that and just like smiling and riding the waves and like not really paying too much attention to where I was at with my contractions and everything. And then at some point in the wee hours of the morning, I was texting the doula and I was just like, yeah, they're about. I don't know. They're like, you know, three minutes apart about they're lasting about a minute, minute and half. She's like, get in the car. What are you doing? I was like, I don't know. I didn't want to go too soon. You know, it was just like, you're good. Like you should go get in the car. And so my husband and I, ⁓ we got in the car and he was so cute. He was like, like filming me and kind of like playing music or like playlists. And he Merelise Wilson: She's like, I thought you didn't want a home birth this time. Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: Had seen me in the first birth and and it's funny like every birth is different. And so I was really different in this birth. I was still talking. I was still present. But I was experiencing really intense rushes so he thought we were going to get there and I'd be like 2 centimeters dilated right or something like that, because that's just what he was prepared for from the first birth is that I was still talking and it was like 2 centimeters. But past that I was like. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: We get to the hospital and I'm like eight centimeters dilated. And it was like, what? I couldn't believe it. Best feeling. ⁓ my god, it was so good. And we go into that room and ⁓ it was just really special. was a hot hospital. I was somehow blessed with like a very big room where I've been at the hospital a couple of times and that's not always the case. Merelise Wilson: The best feeling, best news. Yeah. The Mother Daze: But somehow I had this like big room for my first experience there and the nurses were really lovely and my doctor comes in and he checks on me and I remember like grabbing him by the shoulder as I'm in the middle of like a big rush, you know, and and he just like he was just there. He just was there, like showed up and was present. And I thought, ⁓ he'll be in and out. He has so many patients. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: There's so many photos of him sitting in the corner just watching me and which is wild. I know he was so special. So many pictures of him just sitting there with his baseball cap on like watching me do my thing. He's like smiling. There's like video of him like hugging my son when my son, my nanny brought our son and when our son showed up. Merelise Wilson: That is wild. That's so rare. So rare. The Mother Daze: And you know, I thankfully that we have documentation because it's hard to remember a lot of stuff but you know, I remember like dancing with my husband and like hugging my son and like kissing him and just like every wave that would come they were filming me because it was just so funny because I just kept laughing and I was like Which is crazy because I was like really focusing on joy I really did and it wasn't like I was like joy joy what joy it was just like that was my intention, right and so Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: I really did feel it and ⁓ it was so, so special. Came time for pushing. I was pushing really hard pretty early on. mean, my body, when it's time, my body's like, let's get this baby out. But, you know, sometimes my cervix won't quite catch up with my body going, ⁓ it's time to eject baby. And so I got to like nine centimeters and my body was pushing. But my doctor held my cervix back. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: helped me get the baby passed. And so this was only like a 20 minute pushing session. And she came out. ⁓ They made me go on my back, which is not my favorite. It's really painful for me. But they made me go on my back ⁓ because he wanted to watch the shoulders and make sure the shoulders were OK. And he wanted to put his hands in there and help. And so ⁓ she came out. She was 11 pounds. And. Merelise Wilson: Mmm. The Mother Daze: she was she literally was so chunky and and you know, she was like small this way but like really chunky and she looked like a Thanksgiving turkey like when the nurse carried her over to the deluxe ⁓ my god so good. And so that was a beautiful birth and you know all of that sort of setup was to say that like although I went through so much Merelise Wilson: Ugh. I would nibble on that drumstick. That's amazing. The Mother Daze: ⁓ that year. I do think that ⁓ it was a because I didn't like bury it down or try to avoid it or ignore it. Like I really tried to process it. I had went to therapy. I like was talking to my doctor a lot. ⁓ I wanted to check it like am I okay mentally? Do you think like do I you know and ⁓ All of that, I think, really prepared me for that birth. And ⁓ I got to really enjoy that experience and then have my son there and my amazing partner, who is my cheerleader champion through the whole thing. And he caught the baby, by the way. It was just so special. And so ⁓ was that experience. Merelise Wilson: I've heard you tell that story before. And I just want you to know that like you sharing that was so helpful for me because my dad passed when I was pregnant with my second, when I was 20 weeks. I was 20 weeks or right around six months as well. It was crazy. It was crazy, Sarah. And I remember The Mother Daze: Mmm. Ugh. so sorry. Oh my god, it's like the same exact time. Yeah. Merelise Wilson: you'd already gone through that and I'd heard your story. then like as I was going through it, yeah, it's just, but I can definitely relate. It's funny what you were talking about the joy thing. I remember I used to say the same thing too. was like, this is the year I'm just saying yes to everything. I'm calling it all the joy. The Mother Daze: Mmm. Merelise Wilson: so it just, ⁓ I just obviously relate to that experience so much. And I'm so that were able to that like beautiful, joyful birth. And I'm sure your dad was there in some way. The Mother Daze: ⁓ yeah, I definitely felt that for sure. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. ⁓ okay. So I was also going to ask you, going back a little bit, why did you want to have a home birth for your first birth in the first place? What was it about what Dr. Berlin said? The Mother Daze: Well, you know, it was interesting. think it was just like a, ⁓ I think it was doing the research and I watched The Business of Being Born I read Ina May's books and I was just like, I loved ⁓ spiritual midwifery. I love ⁓ Inamay's guide to childbirth too. It's incredible. But I always went back to spiritual midwifery because ⁓ it's a little bit and some of the stories in that book are just really funny. say funny because the couples are like, Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: having babies in the middle of the woods in like a little cabin and they're like far out you know it just like wow you know they're just there what it is that they're saying and how they're like ⁓ we were like you know I forgot like talk about them making out before ⁓ baby comes you know and I just like would crack up reading this because I'm like I know what this is like not Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yes. Right. Yeah. The Mother Daze: this easy, right? So they make it sound really easy. But I was like, I do love like the idea of having that experience at home and just being in my space. And I very much feel like so the home that we we ended up losing our house in the Palisades fire last year. That home we had Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Mm-hmm. had a crazy, something crazy happen in all your pregnancies, feel like. The Mother Daze: I know it really did. It was so nuts. ⁓ But yeah, so last year so so so that house that we ended up losing we had moved into and I was ⁓ became pregnant with my first like a week after we moved in. It felt like such a special holy place for me. Like it was so home and it was like the most beautiful view of the ocean and ⁓ it was very small and just it was perfect. It was everything that we could have wanted and we had designed it exactly the way that we wanted it right. We had gutted it and we had like rebuilt it. It was so beautiful. So Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: When thinking about where I wanted to have my baby, like I was saying earlier, the hospital hadn't always felt like a safe place for me. And so something that really resonated from something I watched or read or listened to, who knows, was you want to be in the place that makes you feel the most comfortable. And so I was like, I think that's home for me. And I talked to my OB-GYN who's different at the time, and she Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. The Mother Daze: said, Yeah, I mean, if you want to try home birth, try it if you want to like whatever you want to do like, you know, and so I met with some midwives and then I was like, Yeah, I think that's what I want to do. And I didn't really know much about it. I mean, I wanted to go have maybe at the farm like with I'm amazed people. Yeah. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. I know, right? I know, how do I get a spot there? The Mother Daze: How do I do that? ⁓ But I knew that that just wasn't really a possibility for us based on just location. so ⁓ and also I just really felt called to have my baby in my house. I just wanted it so much. And I was like, I'm going to do this. And we're 10 to 15 minutes away from a hospital. So if we need to transfer like we picked a really conservative midwife who was like, I will transfer you before things get crazy. Obviously, that doesn't Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: take into consideration if there's like shoulder dystocia, which is what we ended up having shoulder dystocia, which is just a really scary, tricky situation. ⁓ But that's why is because I just really wanted to feel safe. I don't have the same feelings about hospitals anymore. I think I really worked through that after my first baby and was like, okay. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: I need to wrap my head around this. If I have my team, if I know what I'm doing, if I have my things there, if I'm my doula is there, my partner who's so amazing. mean, he is just like the person who's like holding me up and like playing the music and grabbing the, you know, ice and like ready. He's just doing everything, right? He's basically my doula anyway. And so Merelise Wilson: Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: if I have him there and you know I'm gonna be okay and amazing doctor like I'm gonna be fine and it ended up being an amazing experience and so that's why I chose that. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever think about going back and having a home birth after you had your second? The Mother Daze: didn't think about it until ⁓ fourth. ⁓ considered it for a minute. ⁓ I thought about it a little bit ⁓ the third, but then it was was COVID and it was like such a... Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: complicated time and I was like, I don't know what to do. Like, do we have a baby at home? Do I have a baby at the hospital? Like, I don't know. It's just like tough. My husband was like, I think we just like to do it in hospital and he was not afraid, but very much like, let's be really like logical about this. Like we, we do have bigger babies and Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: ⁓ your my cervix did have a history of swelling so it's like You know if that happens at home and then we can't like we have to transfer like I don't know It's just like maybe I just want to be at the hospital and once I had my baby at a hospital and I was like This is amazing. Then I was kind of like why I also loved I mean, I love the aftercare, of you know people coming in and and helping and Merelise Wilson: Hmm. Yeah. Yes. Mmm. The Mother Daze: I had a great postpartum situation where people came in, nurses came in, a lactation consultant walk in. I didn't mind that aftermath. at home, it was a lot of cleanup. obviously, I wasn't doing it. My husband was doing it, my doula and everybody. But it was a lot. And it was just kind of nice to be taken care of at the hospital, to be honest too. Yeah. Merelise Wilson: Yes. Mm-hmm. not worry about it. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. What was I going to ask you? You said Eric wasn't scared. Was it at all a hump you had to get over when you first said you wanted to have home birth and also have natural birth? Because I remember, anecdote from my own experience, my husband grew up in a very kind of traditional family. And he had never, ever considered the fact that his wife future wife, whoever might want to have like a low intervention, no epidural birth. And when I told him, he was like, okay, I mean, I guess I'll support you obviously in whatever you want to do. But it was like this, he was kind of like shocked. Was there any of that with Eric or was he just like full on like, let's do it. The Mother Daze: Well, I feel like we learned a lot about all of this stuff at the same time. Like, it wasn't like I was trying to learn everything and then I was showing it to him. It was like, ⁓ my gosh, this story's so great. You know, like a little excerpt from the book. Read it. You know? And like, ⁓ I'm watching The Business of Being Born. I want you to watch it with me. I'm going to this. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: ⁓ Class on new parents at the pump station. I want you to come with me and we kind of learned together and he was so like he wanted to learn and know everything too, you know, so ⁓ As I talked to him more about the like Sort of complications that can come from an epidural when we talked about first of all, I guess my situation was a little bit different because I Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: I never really wanted to consider having medicine of any kind or an intervention of any kind. ⁓ And so I think from the start, I was just like, I want to do a natural birth, you know? ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. The Mother Daze: And then the more I learned about it, the more I was like, ⁓ I really want to do a natural birth, but like not just natural birth, a physiological birth, right? Like, and then I don't, I would really love to not have any interventions because also I'm a person where I'm really sensitive to medication. And so I get nervous about taking anything and we're talking like cough medicine, Tylenol, like whatever it is, I just have, I'm very sensitive. ⁓ so just, wasn't like, Merelise Wilson: same. Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: I wasn't like, okay, I think I want to do this, but then maybe I would have this as a backup. It's just like, no, no, no, I want to do this, you know, and so was very supportive of that. And, you know, and he Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: was reading everything I was reading. So he was like, yes, I can see where there's like, there can be complications from an epidural or from, you know, c-section or whatever it is. you know, some of it's like risk assessment. It's like, if you need it, it's so awesome that it's there. If it's something that you really feel like led to do, then great. That's, that is your choice. And thank goodness that it's there and available to us. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. The Mother Daze: If it's something that you don't want to do or really want to try to avoid, then that's also your choice, right? So anyway, so I didn't, there was no ever any pushback, but I would say that we did, you know, there is like ⁓ a chance with home birth that you can transfer. And so that's why we were considering, okay, we just sort of make sure we're with like a midwife who feels like, Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: If we get to that point, we will make sure we go to the hospital. Yeah. And a great backup doctor. Merelise Wilson: Yeah, you had a backup plan. Yes. OK, so you had an amazing second birth, laughed your way through it. Yes, yes, obviously, I was just talking to a doula the other day and we were talking about how it is hard, even when you have an amazing birth experience. And it's I was saying to her, you know, it kind of should be right. Like you're bringing a life into this world. It's OK for it to be hard. But anyways, yes, so. The Mother Daze: Yes. Yeah, it was so hard, but yes. Yeah. Yeah. Merelise Wilson: amazing but hard and then you get pregnant again with your third and that's during COVID. The Mother Daze: Yeah. Yes. And that was during COVID. And you're right. would say. With each one of my girls, ⁓ because I don't really feel like there was anything too crazy that happened in our lives necessarily with my first, or maybe I can't even remember. But with all three of my girls, there was big life events, really big life events. ⁓ And with Winter, we got pregnant. We were so excited. We had a pregnancy loss. So getting pregnant right away after the pregnancy loss was... ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. The Mother Daze: Just like, yes, we want to have a third baby. And then you have a pregnancy loss. And then we're like, now we really want to have a third baby. the pain of the want goes, it's like through the roof. Like you just want it so bad. ⁓ And I just knew this baby was coming to us. And I was like, I just have to like, this is heartbreaking. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: This experience is heartbreaking. And you know, I don't want to skip over the loss because I know this is Arrivals podcast, but like ⁓ losses. ⁓ There's so much learning in that too, ⁓ and grief and. Growth, ⁓ I think, like, you know, getting pregnant the third baby and we told the kids right away and. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: This was 2019 and. And then. And then the baby didn't make it and I was shocked. I mean, talk about being rocked. I was like what? I knew this. I mean, we wrote a book. We we've researched like the I know the odds, right? And so I knew that was a possibility, but I was like, wait, what do mean there's no heartbeat like? Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. The Mother Daze: Are you kidding me? Like what? My ears were like ringing and I remember my doctor who I loved so much said to me like, don't think you're gonna hear any of this right now. And I was like, I hear everything right now, you know? And I was just like, so I was like, no, I'm hearing you. And he was like, well, none of this is your fault. And I just want you to know that. And I was like. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: I know it's not my fault, you know, but then of course, I'm glad he said it because like later you do go back and you go, it because I did this? Is it because of this? Is it this? Is it this? And then my husband, Eric, ⁓ you know, he watched me that weekend, really processing and it was so hard and he was like, Merelise Wilson: Yeah. right? The Mother Daze: You know, I was trying to make a decision that weekend on having a DNC or allowing my body to try to like do this naturally and naturally had not kicked in yet. And so I was given a few days to make a decision. ⁓ And he would have given me more days if I wanted them. But ⁓ I just like didn't know what to do. And my husband was like, you should go. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Mm. The Mother Daze: We live by the beach and he was like, you should go out into the water. You should go on the paddleboard and just like, you know, be on the ocean for a minute, you know? And I was like, I don't want to do that. I to put a wetsuit on like. OK, yeah, OK, I'm going to do it. And I was a little pushback and then I was like, why am I pushing back? Like, no, I'm going to do it. And I paddled out, which is not like a normal thing for me. ⁓ But I was like, I'm going to try this paddled out on this very calm morning. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Meh. Hmm. The Mother Daze: and got past the break out into the open ocean and ⁓ open meaning it was like calm past the break, right? Not way open ocean. ⁓ No, just got past the break and I was sitting there and everything was really, really calm and I was like looking down the water and the seagrass was like, you know, kind of coming up and I was like watching it and I just burst into tears and I laid my head on the Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: paddleboard and I just cried so hard and then I put my face off the side of the board into the water and it was so cold the Pacific is so cold and I just cried and cried and cried and I was like I loved you so much I just do I want you to know I love you and like I'm so so sorry like I'm sorry that this happened and I I thought I was gonna be holding you and I pictured you and I wanted you and I just Gosh, I just want you to know that. Like, come back to me. Come back. I'm here. I want you. You know? And like, I could cry like even... I know, but that's just what I did. I sat there and I just said everything, you know? And I just... I was like, I'm just... really... Like, I'm gonna let this go. I'm gonna let this go because I don't feel like this was, you know, this was obviously not meant to be in this body or whatever it is. And I was like, but yeah. Merelise Wilson: ⁓ yeah. time. The Mother Daze: But I just got to like, I just had to cry, cry it out. And I came back and I was like, you're right, Eric. You're right. OK. You're right. I was like, I did need that. I needed it so bad. And I feel so much better. And I'm going to go tomorrow and get the DNC. That's what I want to do. And so I went the next day and I got the DNC done. And my doctor was like, you know, can try on your next cycle if you want. And I was like. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. That's so annoying when that happens. The Mother Daze: Okay. And sure enough, we got pregnant next cycle, which was unbelievable. And it was just so exciting. And it was just like, boom, we're off. You know, I was like scared a little bit like, is this going to be okay? And but I just was so excited. And ⁓ and then, you know, come January, we started hearing about this weird virus. And I was like, ⁓ I'm to stay out of, you know, stay out of like any. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. You The Mother Daze: public areas, I'm pregnant, you know, and then and then the whole world shut down and and it was ⁓ would say for our family at that time, ⁓ I was pregnant because my kids were really little, it was a lot of time for us to like really be together. And that was ⁓ that was special to have that time together. Obviously, it was scary and there was a lot going on in the world and it was ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: a lot of like my husband was still working and I was not working at that time. And so for him, it was a lot of like having to go back out into the world with like, ⁓ I think I'm see timeline wise. You know, he didn't have to work for a big chunk of that, which was really nice. And then everybody had to go back to work at some point, right? So yes, that's the crazy part. So then Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. The Mother Daze: The rest of the pregnancy was kind of done, was kind of like happening, you know, in a very like closed off situation. And then every doctor visit, I couldn't have anybody there. ⁓ I was too afraid to ride the elevator. So I would climb five flights of stairs to get to my doctor's appointment. And by the time I'd get up there, I'd make them wait before they took my blood pressure or my temperature. So I was like, I climbed five flights of stairs. I didn't want to be in an elevator with anyone. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. I know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: But you gotta wait, don't take my temp yet. I don't know what it's gonna be, I'm sweating. And so it was just weird, the time was weird and it was scary. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It was, I was, I was pregnant with my first during COVID and it was just the worst, but I can imagine also coming off of a loss. And I remember just there being so much fear around pregnancy and COVID because we didn't know anything and not know. I remember I got COVID when I was pregnant and I felt so scared and so guilty because I didn't know what was going to, you know, happen to my baby. didn't care about me at all, but ⁓ I just remember it being so The Mother Daze: Yeah. Mm. Yeah. Mmm. Merelise Wilson: worried not knowing how it would affect my baby. And so I can imagine for you coming off of a loss, like, ugh, I can't imagine the added pressure and anxiety of then going into a pandemic. The Mother Daze: Yeah, well, think I leaned a lot heavily on my doctor, who is the same OB that had delivered my last baby. And I just leaned into him. What do you think I should do? What do you think this? What do you think that? How do you think it is? What's it like at the hospital? I would just ask him so many questions. And we, of course, were behind masks and face shields and like, Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: It was, know, my baby was born in September of that year. I mean, that was still early days, like weird early days. think only about two weeks before I gave birth, they were allowing partners to come into the room. And so. Merelise Wilson: Yes. The Mother Daze: Which is crazy because once I found out, I can have my partner there and you can have a doula there, which was also wild. So I was like, wow, this is going to be this is nice. Like I wasn't sure I was I was trying to put off in my brain, like even thinking about the birth for so long. So was like because I even considered like, should I do a home birth? Like. Merelise Wilson: that's so nice. Mmm. Right. The Mother Daze: like the hot, what are my chances of getting COVID at the hospital? Like how are they separating everybody? And like, you know, and, and so I ended up deciding to do hospital birth for that one. And I would say she was my easiest birth. it was different because Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Mm. The Mother Daze: My kids couldn't be there. They were ⁓ FaceTiming. My friend went, Anna, she went and stayed at my house and watched my kids. She has kids of her own, but she was like, game on to go get, you know, go take care of my kids. And ⁓ our nanny, Sonia, me to the hospital. This is the other thing. So ⁓ my was shooting a show NCIS LA at the time. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: sweet. The Mother Daze: ⁓ But they hadn't they kept pushing the time to start, you know with the co everything with COVID because they were trying to get all their ducks in a row and He was he was supposed to start like September or something and I think I was due September 5th ⁓ September 4th or something and so he's supposed to start his job then and Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: This was like shooting in person with all these COVID protocols and all this craziness going back out into the world with like the mask and the face shield and the whole thing. So he is supposed to do that. And because I didn't have the baby yet, they kept like pushing his start date because they wanted to make sure we were safe. Right. And so Merelise Wilson: Mm. Right. The Mother Daze: they pushed and they pushed and they pushed and shot everything else for the first like to you know whatever that episode or two episodes were and till finally it was like all right he just has to go back to work you know ⁓ baby's not here yet I'm not gonna opt in for a c-section baby's gonna come when she wants to come like I don't know what to tell you so he's like okay I have to go back to work on September 15th I was like great and Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. How many weeks pregnant were you at that point? The Mother Daze: September 15th was 10 days past my due date. So I was at the time I think we were around my due date and then we just kept pushing it. Merelise Wilson: Okay. The Mother Daze: And there's this amazing tarot card reader Angie Banaki. We love her. We've had her on the podcast before. She months, months, months earlier predicted that I would have my baby on September 15th. And I was like, you're crazy. That's never gonna happen. Like I love you sister, but that's 10 days past my due date and my other baby came on time. My second baby came on time. Like that's not happening. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah. The Mother Daze: And so cut to it's COVID and we are not this baby is not coming yet. And ⁓ September 14th rolls around and I go to bed that night. I'm everything feels normal. mean, ⁓ obviously, like I'm feeling the same prodromal labor that felt in every pregnancy, but it doesn't seem too crazy intense. So I go to bed. ⁓ and I fall asleep and I'm in and out of sleep all night, but I'm not getting up. I'm just kind of like, oh, I'm so uncomfortable, like in and out of sleep all night. I get up early in the morning, it's like 4.35 AM and I'm like, oh my God, it's September 15th. Eric is supposed to drive in for his first day of work back on the show. I'm like, I Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: I think I'm in labor. I think maybe I've been in labor all night. Like I wake up and I'm like, ⁓ my gosh, this feels kind of intense. Let me get up and see how I'm feeling. I get up, walking around and like, ⁓ my God, I am, this is active labor for sure. And I go, I'm like moaning a little bit in the bathroom and Eric is stirring and he wakes up and he looks at me and he's like, ⁓ my God. And I go, Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: Yeah, I think this is it. I think I'm in labor. And he was like, oh my God. He sits up in the bed and I sit in front of him and I'm taking some breaths and he's got his hands on my tummy and he's like, what should I do? What should we do? And I was like, you know what? I think you should go to work and do whatever you need to do. The hospital is closer to work than our house is, right? So Merelise Wilson: You did it. You made it happen. The Mother Daze: go to work and I'll have Sonia drive me into the hospital. And then when we had there, you leave work and you had to meet us. And if they'll let you, like, obviously they were gonna let him out to come, you know, be with me while I get birthed. But shooting schedules are tough, right? Cause you know, everything is centered around like what scene you're shooting that day and whatever. So he's like, okay, so I'm gonna go to work and then you let me know. And I was like, okay. Merelise Wilson: Right. Yeah. The Mother Daze: So he sat there with me through a little bit of it and then he left to go to work. And then I was like, all right, we're doing this. So I'm texting with my friend, texting with my doctor. I'm like, it's, you know, 8 a.m., 7 a.m., 8 a.m. And then my friend, I was like, I'll text you in a little bit and let you know. She just ended up she lives five minutes away and she was like at my outside my door. She was like, I'm here. I'm here and you seem like you're really in labor and I want to make sure that you're like actually gonna leave when you need to and I was like, okay so she comes in and we have the same doctor and she ⁓ she starts like Texting with him and she's like she's she's definitely in active labor and they're pretty close together I think she should go to the hospital. She's not listening to me And ⁓ yeah, yeah, and I was like, ⁓ I was like, ⁓ I think I think I could be here a little bit longer and then my doctors Merelise Wilson: No. And this is Dr. Goldberg again. The Mother Daze: taxi be like, and I think she should come. I think you should get in the car and come and I was like, okay, bye. So ⁓ Sonia drives me to Cedars. ⁓ And I were texting Eric and we're telling him like, you know, meet us the hospital as soon as you can. ⁓ So this is like nine, nine or 10 o'clock. And then I think that I think the baby was born like two hours later. Like this is how fast that all happened. Yeah, because I had been in labor for so much longer than I realized. But I get there and I think I'm like seven centimeters dilated. And then Dr. Goldberg's like, OK, I'm going to go do some rounds and I will be right back to you. It's COVID, right? So I showed up to the hospital. You have to do COVID tests and like all this stuff. So it's a little chaotic in the hospital. Merelise Wilson: Right. Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: They don't have any room for me. It is packed. They put me in the tiniest room we've ever seen with zero windows. It's so small. I'm like, it's fine. I'll birth anywhere. Like, whatever. I'll be fine. And I'm like, we're good. Don't worry. The worst part of the whole freaking thing was the COVID test. They shoved all the way up to my eyeball to like check to see if I had COVID, which was the worst. ⁓ But otherwise I was fine. And Merelise Wilson: ⁓ great. pretend it's a cave and you know. ⁓ god. hate that ⁓ The Mother Daze: ⁓ And then, you know, I labored on the side of the bed. I labored in the I tried to do the shower, but I got really hot in like three seconds and I was like, get me out of here. And before I could even blink, Eric was there like he arrived and turns out he was able to shoot everything he needed to shoot that day that morning and then jump, you know, jumped in his car and drove straight over. So he's there at the hospital. I was like almost in tears. So was like, yeah, worked, you know, and. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yes. Yes. The Mother Daze: And then my mental state was like, yeah, I just like I wanted this one also I wanted to feel joy. I loved the joy from my last birth, you know, but it was all happening really fast. So it was like, I want to call it joy. It was like, would join but I was just like, it was intense. It's like, it was the way that like COVID was for me, you know, just everything felt ⁓ like heightened and it was Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. The Mother Daze: It was heightened in that room and the ⁓ I was on the side of the bed and I was, you know, doing my breath work and everything. But then like it would get to the top of a contraction. My body would really be trying to push. And I was like, I need to know like where I'm at because my body is trying to push this baby out. But like, what if my cervix is swelling, you know, and this nurse ⁓ or doctor, she's no, sorry. She was a nurse. She said. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Mmm. The Mother Daze: you should get on the bed like because you know if you're pushing and the baby comes out the baby I'll hit the floor and I'm like catch the baby then like what do mean I'm not getting on the bed I'm standing on the side of the bed it feels great you know and they wanted me to get in the bed and I just kept telling them no and then I started shushing the lady not in a mean way but in a like she was talking too loud and I was just like shh you know killing the vibe babe you're killing the vibe Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah, you're killing the vibe. You're killing the vibe. I know. The Mother Daze: So, ⁓ Dr. Goldberg comes back in and he was like, okay, I'm going to check you. And he's like, ⁓ my God, you're nine and half centimeters. It's been like no time. It has not even been an hour. And, ⁓ he's like, I'm going to hold your cervix back as you push. Now I have an 18 minute video. So all of this happens in 18 minutes, right? Which is amazing. But there's an 18 minute video that I'll cherish forever. Cause he's in the video. He's alive and well. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: And I'm pushing and he's coaching me and he's so amazing. He's like, yeah, mama, you're doing this. Look at how hard you're working. Yes, mama, you're doing so good. And my husband's like holding my knee and he's like, yeah, mama, you're doing great. He's like cheering me on and Goldberg's cheering me on and Goldberg's changing gloves left and right because I think I'm like pooing all over the place. And it's just, I'm standing. I'm holding onto the side of the bed. Merelise Wilson: Mmm. Yeah. And you're standing up, right? You're still standing up at this point. Yeah. The Mother Daze: I'm standing. I'm in like a sort of squat. got a nurse on one side holding one leg. I got Eric on the other side holding the other leg and I got Goldberg behind me and I finally like push and push and push and he's like, yeah, you're gonna push this baby out. Come on. She's right here. You know, he's just like coaching me through it and and his hand up there is excruciating but then once the head is past the cervix, he's like, alright, we're good. You know, let's get this baby out and Merelise Wilson: Yeah. ⁓ god. The Mother Daze: And so I push and then she comes out and she's 10 pounds, four ounces. And she's so big, so beautiful. And I start crying and I'm like, that was so hard, you know. And he's like, yeah, but you did it, you know. And and and that was just like a whirlwind because they got us in and out of that hospital that day. I mean, because it was covid and they were like, you guys are healthy. We've tested you. We should get you out of here. Yeah. Merelise Wilson: Mmm. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. You don't want to be here. Yeah. The Mother Daze: And so it was wild. It was a beautiful birth. like so I'm so grateful for it, you know. Merelise Wilson: Do they know why your cervix swells? Like what causes it? The Mother Daze: I don't know. think, I think because it's either like the positioning of how the baby comes down, maybe just because the first baby was a little bit tilted and like coming down in one position, maybe that sort of formed the way that my uterus is and like my pelvis and everything. Also, ⁓ because of how big baby is and then usually my water doesn't break. ⁓ this last birth, my water did break, but Merelise Wilson: Hmm. Yeah. Mm. The Mother Daze: Normally my birth, my water doesn't break. And so it's just like there's this heaviness and then they usually have to break my water. ⁓ But. I don't know. I mean, there's been a lot of like philosophizing about why. And ⁓ we just we don't know. It's just like that usually happens. And there's just different, you know, ways that doctors handle it. And ⁓ he was able to hold it back both times, which was great. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. The Mother Daze: But yeah, it just, happens. Merelise Wilson: Do you, so when your cervix is swelling, it, when a doctor looks, does it look almost like your cervix is closing? Like you're reverse dilating? Is that what it looks like or? Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: Yeah, yeah. So it's like it's like they had already felt it and it was, you know, whatever, eight, nine centimeters. And then you'll get like a cervical lip, which is like, it will probably feel like almost like a swollen part or a part that's getting bigger. So if it swells too much and then the more pressure, because that's the other thing is that the fetal ejection is so intense with certain people. For me, it's very intense. And so Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right. Yeah. The Mother Daze: The fetal ejection is happening, pushing against something that's already swollen, which is making it swell more. And so then that's how that you may, you get in a situation where you have to do a C-section because you can't get anything past the cervix, right? ⁓ And so I think my fetal ejection happens sooner than ⁓ most. Most it happens during pushing, but mine happens before it babies through the cervix. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right? Right. Right? So interesting. And I do feel like there are a lot of traditional OB practices where you go to C-section pretty immediately if they see. Yeah. The Mother Daze: Yeah, I've been told that, yeah, by my doctors, you know, and other doctors I've met with since. like, oh yeah, if you were, you know, with this doctor at this hospital or whatever, like they would have pulled you into C-section. And not that that's necessarily bad. I mean, you know, I'm just glad I was gifted the opportunity to be able to do it the way that I wanted to, you know? Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Right. Right. And some people fully may have preferred to have a C-section and you know, that, that circumstance, but I'm glad that you were able to do what you wanted. It's amazing that you, and with your first birth had a midwife who could handle that and then found an OB that was like comfortable doing it too. It's awesome. So then not to jump forward too much, but, and not to brush over it, but when Dr. Goldberg passed and you got pregnant again, The Mother Daze: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mm hmm. Yes. Yeah. Merelise Wilson: with ocean, was that kind of like a qualification when you started to explore finding a new practice? Like, were you asking doctors, like, what would you do in the case of a cervical lip and a swollen cervix? The Mother Daze: Yeah, I mean, I had already met with ⁓ I was already seeing a doctor for years ⁓ after Dr. Goldberg passed away. ⁓ That was a friend of his who he brought in, who came into the practice to take over for Dr. Goldberg. And yeah, and he was incredible. And so I felt really comfortable with him. We had a lot of discussions about it. ⁓ So I had. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. That's nice. The Mother Daze: ⁓ three pregnancy losses before ⁓ getting pregnant with Ocean. ⁓ And Dr. Dao, who is an amazing ⁓ acupuncturist, a Chinese medicine doctor, he helped me through all of those and really helped my body prepare to be pregnant again. And he was just, he is a dream. you ever have, if there's anybody in California or if you want to travel to California, if you have any issues with fertility, I mean, I highly, highly recommend seeing Dr. Dow. He is incredible. He's just an amazing human, too. ⁓ And so I ended up getting pregnant after those losses with Ocean. And I was seeing the doctor that had... Merelise Wilson: Mm. The Mother Daze: had taken over and he was so nice, so wonderful. And I was like, okay, I'm feeling like really, I felt great, comfortable with him. And I wasn't fully, I couldn't fully wrap my head around what the birth situation was going to look like, what I wanted to do exactly. But that's also because I'd had multiple losses over the years leading up to having this baby. that are getting pregnant with this baby that I was ⁓ I think being very like cautious about how far ahead I got in this pregnancy. So I wasn't like daydreaming about the birth. I was more like daydreaming about 20 weeks or like thinking about, ⁓ when I get this such and such scan, how am I going to feel? And like, you know what I mean? I just wanted to get to like a place that felt safe. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Right. Yeah, totally. The Mother Daze: ⁓ And yeah, totally different goalposts, totally different thing that I wanted to like daydream about. So about 20 weeks pregnant, ⁓ the Palisades fire happened and we lost our house. ⁓ And the. I don't even know how to explain the the like. Trauma, it's sort of like. Merelise Wilson: Yeah, the goalpost was different. The Mother Daze: fear and fight or flight we were living in. We were living in fight or flight for days because the fire was still going and like, you know, we were bouncing around to people's houses and then our friends that live up in Santa Barbara were like, please come and stay with us. And we had stayed at my brother-in-law's house, which was so amazing ⁓ with multiple other families who were fleeing the fires. so, you know, we were sort of bouncing around LA, but then the opportunity came up to get out of LA and go north. And so we were like, OK, let's go up there. ⁓ And we stayed up there and it felt like finally we felt safe because every time we sort of got to a new location in LA, it was like there was another fire starting somewhere else or like the air quality was really bad or, you know, and then we're also we have all of our children who are suffering from what happened. And then we're like trying to process that and live a normal life and like Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Right. The Mother Daze: You know, just all the fit. You're still like putting your kids to bed and showering them and like, I don't know. Everything was unknown and untethered and, know, totally surreal. And so ⁓ very quickly afterwards, we ended up ⁓ being up in Santa Barbara for a bit. And then we ended up finding a place to live. And ⁓ and then we were in we have a trailer in a trailer park in Merelise Wilson: Yes. surreal and yeah. The Mother Daze: like Malibu. And so we were going ⁓ from there, from that location to the kids school, which was taking like two hours or something because of like, you know, everything with the fires to and out two hours on a good day, three hours on a bad day. I was doing that for a little bit. And at some point with me and the kids, we were just like, we can't do this anymore. It's too too much to travel. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: that far every day and or even three days a week like we were struggling. And so we ended up finding our place to live in Santa Barbara and making the decision to move. And so we moved, moved to Santa Barbara. At that point, I think I was like 25 weeks pregnant. And so I was like, either I'll go back down to LA for the. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Ugh. The Mother Daze: birth, I'm not even sure how that's gonna work. ⁓ Or we'll find my doctor here and I'd had a friend who had given birth up here. So ⁓ so I ended up meeting that doctor and she was so awesome. And she had a doula that she works with. And she's Yeah. And so they kind of like coached me through everything up here, you know, and I just really had to approach this whole Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. ⁓ amazing. The Mother Daze: situation in a different way. It was like almost like a first time situation because everything was new. Even where we were living was new and and everything felt you know I was stressed more so about like our kids getting settled in Santa Barbara and like trying to make sure they were okay and you know and then we were dealing with like insurance and and Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: That was just like a lot that was going on. My husband was really, you know, taking on the majority of all of that stuff. And my job was really like to figure out, you know, everything that was in our home. And we had to like put these documents to the insurance that, you know, categorizing things that were in our home. And so it was just that became our job over that pregnancy. Like we were just trying to. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: get everything together so that we could move on from that and then get to the next place. So I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about the birth until it got closer to time to have her. And then I started really thinking about it. ⁓ I'm like, what's it going to be like? And I talked to the doctor about ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: the way my cervix swelled and things like that. And so I had told her and she was prepared, you know, she was ready to for all of it. And Eric and I both felt so comfortable with her and I was really excited about the hospital here because it's a sweet hospital, it's beautiful. And I was like, OK, I think we're going to be great, you know, like I think it's going to be great. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, you're like, I've done this three times. It's, The Mother Daze: Yeah, yeah. And and so it came time for for Ocean's birth and she was 11 days late. think that's right. 11 days. Yeah. 11 days late, which I could not believe. I just like could not believe she was late that late. And of course, like it's a guess date. It's not an exact, but I just like thought she would come early. She was measuring so big and I was just like, my gosh. ⁓ got really sick during that pregnancy a couple of times. Like I got COVID so bad and ⁓ that rocked me. It was like so, so ill. ⁓ so when it was time to like have this baby, I was just like, let's just do this. I'm so excited to do it, but it was, it had been a challenging pregnancy. Merelise Wilson: Right. Mm. Yeah. The Mother Daze: because of everything that was happening in our lives, you know, ⁓ just like weird, crazy stuff, like, you know, the fires and then I randomly had lice. Yeah, I got lice. Do remember that? Okay, that was horrible. Weird. ⁓ No, it's just like another weird incidence. And then I got COVID really bad. I was so sick. I got some other sickness. Merelise Wilson: Right. Oh yes, I remember you talking about that. Oh my god, yes. Oh god. Yeah. The Mother Daze: during that too and then ⁓ finally baby was supposed to be happening and I had prodromal laboral for like weeks before giving birth to her. the day ⁓ ⁓ went and ate a ⁓ that was supposed to be like spicy and get me going ⁓ ⁓ was sitting there eating it and I was like. Merelise Wilson: Ugh. ⁓ my god. Uh-huh. The Mother Daze: I was like, yeah, I'm starting to feel some contractions, know, like, let's let's go for a walk afterwards and for this walk. And my husband had left that morning with the kids. He was going to take them to go look for an RV. And I was like, yeah, it's fine. Like, I don't feel anything like go. You guys drive like an hour away and go look for an RV. ⁓ I love this idea. Merelise Wilson: haha The Mother Daze: And as soon as they were gone and I went to go eat the salad, I was like, oh my God, I think I'm in labor. I can't believe it. Like the day that they go off to do something. I texted Eric and I was like, how far out are you? And he's like, oh, I'm like an hour, hour and a half. He's like, why? And I was like, well, I think I'm in labor. Funny story. I think I'm in labor and I can't believe it's happening right now, but I'm pretty sure. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Funny story. The Mother Daze: We're moving along here pretty good. So if you guys wrap it up where you're at, like get back here. And, ⁓ and he was like, okay, we're headed back. And, ⁓ and I just started going through the motions of labor and it was so awesome. Like I use the, ⁓ my God, I love that. I'm going to forget it. This is my pregnancy brain right now. ⁓ I use the sling. Yeah. The birth sling. Merelise Wilson: Mmm. Yeah This, yeah, yeah, The Mother Daze: I used the birth sling. I rolled my hips on a ball. I walked a little bit up and down the street, but I mean, I was feeling it pretty intensely. So I wasn't doing much of that. and I was just doing a lot of breathing and just like I texted my friend, Nikki, Nikki Reed. She was coming to like, do the photos. And so we just let her know, Hey, if it works for you, like I think today's the day, but no pressure, you know? And, Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: And then we just kind of like, I just like rode the waves, you know? My kids got home and they were like, how's it going? And they were just around like rubbing my shoulders and like, you know, all those things. And I was a group B strep positive, so I needed to go to the hospital and get an antibiotic, ⁓ which is so annoying. But I had to leave. Merelise Wilson: Hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, so annoying. The Mother Daze: earlier than I probably would have wanted to. But honestly, like I stayed there for so long and had a beautiful laboring experience at our home. And then at some point, my husband, my son and I, we got in the car to drive and my nanny was going to bring the girls later. They were going to like eat dinner and then or eat not dinner, eat something and then come later. And so. Yeah. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah Yeah. Yeah. I'm curious if I can interrupt. How did you approach the conversation with Wyatt? Like, did he just want to be involved? how old was he? 11 when she was born? So I feel like that's a tricky age for boys, but was he just like still super into it and was like, yeah, I want to be like part of this, my little sister born. What was that like? The Mother Daze: Yeah, yeah. 11. Yeah, I mean, I think Wyatt is like such a sweetheart and he's so he's very in tune with me. So, you know, he can really feel he's very empathetic. very much feels when I'm off like, you know, the other day I went to see a performance of his and afterwards he was like, Are you OK, mom? Are you stressed? Like I kind of had this feeling that, you know, and I was like, I don't know, am I stressed? I don't think so. But he's like so tuned in with me. And so Merelise Wilson: Yeah Yeah. The Mother Daze: I, we just asked him, you know, I had mentioned it a few times, like, do you guys want to be there? You know, and, and I think that they like really wanted to, but also Merelise Wilson: Yeah. The Mother Daze: If things got hairy, I didn't want them around for that. So we had a plan, a little bit of a plan in place. I was like, everything had felt good so far. So I was like, do you want to come with us? And he was like, yeah, I think I do. And so he ended up filming me. I was in the front seat, and he was filming me ⁓ as we were going. So I ended up getting on hands and knees and was like. Merelise Wilson: Right? Yeah. So awesome. The Mother Daze: I just I know I wasn't supposed to do that, but I was Not able to really sit in the car. I needed to turn over I felt like I was like stabbing pain ⁓ in my Pelvis area ⁓ went from the sitting and so I just did my best to like turn over and you know hold on to the front car seat or whatever but ⁓ And then I would turn back I would have like Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. The Mother Daze: contraction I would turn back and put my seatbelt back on and then I would like to it again and I was like, ⁓ my god, you know, and I was just like trying to stay in it and be safe. But anyway, so he was filming me a little bit and then ⁓ we got there and Eric had to drop us off at the front door. And so I was like laboring in the lobby with Wyatt and you know, and then we went up to the doctor came and we went up to the doc, by the way, the doctor was at my house, which was amazing her and they came to my house to kind of like Merelise Wilson: ⁓ god. Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: check me and see what was happening and then went with me. So she operates more like a midwife where it's like concierge. Yeah, which is amazing. So she then she came with me to the hospital and then ⁓ we go up, get settled in the room and hang up the bursling and like really just get going. And and I'm having like a great labor experience. Like everything is just flowing. It's so nice. And ⁓ Merelise Wilson: It's amazing. Oh my God. you The Mother Daze: Nikki arrived, she's taking some photos, the kids are all there. And then I really get to like the pushing part. And I'm like, oh, this baby's going to be out in 10 minutes. And like, we're going to be just chilling. And as soon as I started pushing, I felt like I was pushing against a brick wall. I was like, oh crap, what's happening? Like my my fetal ejection was like really intense. But then like it just I wasn't feeling any progression. And Merelise Wilson: Mm. Yeah. The Mother Daze: ⁓ So ⁓ at this point I've been pushing for a while. ⁓ They me in these different positions. I'm like, I think the cervix swollen. Like I think you need to check me. She like checks me and she's like, yeah, we are swelling. And I was like, do you want to hold the cervix back? And she's like, I really, it feels so stretchy. I really feel like you can push through it. And I was like, okay. And so I was like trying to do that. ⁓ And then she like went to check me again and she was like, yeah, it's more swollen. And she was like, look, we have a couple of options. Like we can give you Benadryl and ⁓ IV. It's going to make you feel really weird. And. Merelise Wilson: Mmm. The Mother Daze: I was like, you know, my medicine thing I was talking about, I get nervous about medicine. So I was like, oh, I was like, okay, what does it do? And she's like, it'll help like, un-swell the cervix. But I don't know, like, I don't know. I know. But apparently this has worked for before. So she's done this before. And so I was like, okay. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. almost like allergic reaction sort of thing. Like Benadryl. I don't know. Yeah. The Mother Daze: So we're going to do the Benadryl. She's like the other thing that we can do is we can give you an epidural and like it's still, you know, it's a walking epidural. It's still, you'll still be able to feel things, but it'll help with the fetal ejection. Like it'll help my body to calm down so that the cervix can un-swell and everything. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Right. The Mother Daze: So I'm like, okay, let's try the Benadryl. And at this point, it's been really, really, really intense because my fetal ejection is like pushing so hard. But I when I'm doing the Benadryl, I'm supposed to not give in to the fetal ejection. So they don't want me to push. So I have to almost like fight against it, which is so hard. So I'm like about to start screaming, I think. And my kids are still there. And so Merelise Wilson: Mm. Yeah, no. Yeah. The Mother Daze: We're like, okay, kids need to go home. My son, my poor sweet boy. But he he got really sad, like seeing me like that. He got scared, you know, because I look really like this was intense. didn't like let loose yet. But I was like, you know, it wasn't baby wasn't popping out in 10 minutes like I thought she was going to. And so ⁓ my kids ended up leaving with ⁓ Sonia. And as soon as they left, they were all like, OK, great. This is going to be great. Like mom, Merelise Wilson: ⁓ Yeah. Yeah. Mm. The Mother Daze: got this like, you know, Sonia was like, you'll wake up in the morning and the baby will be here and you'll be so excited. Right. So so then once they were gone, it was like, I was like, all I could think about was, ⁓ how am I stopping myself from pushing at the peak? Because if you've ever had a baby, like when you get to the peak and your body wants to push, there's nothing you can do. Like Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Bright. The Mother Daze: You were you were like fighting against something that's a thousand times heavier than you. Right. In that moment. So I was just like I'd get to the peak and I'd be like Merelise Wilson: Yes. The Mother Daze: You know and then I would start to like push again and I was like, ⁓ my god, I can't stop it So they had started the Benadryl I'm like holding on to the back of the bed and I'm like, ⁓ it feels like my eyeballs falling down my face like something's wrong with my face and they're like nothing's wrong with your face and I was like what's going on with my eye like something's wrong with my eye and they were like, it's the Benadryl I'm so sorry, you know, and so Finally I'm like Merelise Wilson: Ugh. Yeah. What'd they put in that Venadryl? The Mother Daze: We need to do the Abdural because can't stop the pushing. I cannot stop the pushing. This isn't going to work. The Benadryl is not going to work for me because I can't stop myself from pushing. ⁓ was like, call in the epidural ⁓ ⁓ my husband was like, you know, this is new for me, right? He'd seen me through three births before. So he was very much like, I looked at him and I was like, this is what I want to do. This is why I want to do it, you know, and what do you think? Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: And how do you feel and and you know, he was like, whatever, whatever you need and I was like, I need it and we get to the top of the peak of the contraction, I'd be like, and then go I need help, you know, and I kept saying I need help because I didn't know how to stop pushing you guys. It was crazy. I was like, this is just not possible. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. No. The Mother Daze: I need to push this baby out, you know? so, and if the cervix kept swelling, I would have to go into C-section. So I was like, get me, I need that epidural tomorrow. Like, I mean, yesterday. I need it now, right now, you know? And then they were like, okay, he's on his way. And what they didn't say was there was no person at the hospital right then available because, Merelise Wilson: Right. Yeah, yesterday. Yeah. The Mother Daze: There were too many other people, too many other things happening. There was nobody available. They had to call someone to drive in. So someone was driving to the hospital to help me. It was a half an hour of me every 90 seconds trying to fight off the fetal ejection. So every 90 seconds for 30 minutes, I was screaming, help, somebody help. ⁓ Because I was like, just Merelise Wilson: Stop. ⁓ my god. Sarah, ⁓ my God. The Mother Daze: It was just the circumstance of my cervix, right? And so ⁓ we just couldn't, my baby wanted out, the body wanted her out, but then this swelling was happening. anyway, guy comes to do the ⁓ epidural and I didn't even have time to be scared. I was like, I'm just, just do it, you know? And the contractions happening, my husband's here, I'm holding onto him. I'm like, Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Ugh. bright. The Mother Daze: you know, the field ejections happening and I'm just trying to be as still as freaking possible as he gets the thing in. I don't even feel it. I don't feel it. I don't think about it. It's nothing. I'm like, what now? Like, it's not working. They're like, it takes a minute, you know, and I'm just like, okay. And so it does take a little bit and and then I keep Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: you know, I'm in a certain position because of the they were so awesome though, because they kept moving my body in different positions to make sure that it was getting to where it needed to go and not like going somewhere else. And so I, I just felt like they took such good care of me, the nurses and my doctor. And so finally, once I started to feel it, I was like, ⁓ Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah. The Mother Daze: The fetal ejections calming down what and then we were looking at the like machine to see how my labor was. Well, my labor was staying the same. The contractions were coming every 90 seconds and they were just as strong, but the ejections calmed down so I didn't feel the like, you know, need to push along with the big contraction. So that was great. So then. I rested for like, I don't know, maybe I don't even know now. I probably 45 minutes. Merelise Wilson: Wow. Mm-hmm. Yeah. The Mother Daze: ⁓ I just like laid there on my side. It was still intense. I could still feel things but I was sort of like listening and laying there and trying to sleep they wanted me to sleep but I I don't know if I fell asleep or not and then ⁓ I heard Eric and Nikki talking so I was just like being nosy and I was like, what are you guys talking about? And then they were like chatting with me about about everything that was happening and how was I feeling and all of that and then The doctor came back in and she's like I think we can start pushing and so I was like great This is gonna happen quick great. And so I thought Here we go Got up on my knees because I could still feel my legs, which I was shocked I was like, ⁓ I didn't I didn't think I was it kind of felt a little bit like my legs were really tired and I was moving them around a little bit extra than just like moving your your leg Merelise Wilson: That's amazing. Mmm, mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: but ⁓ I could still move them and I could still feel the pressure of the like contraction coming on. ⁓ And so I started to have to like really go in deep in my brain and find when the rush was starting to happen. And then they could obviously tell me based on the machine, but I'd be like, Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: I would be like, ⁓ I think it's happening now. And then they would say, yes, you're right. So I could like feel it, but I wanted confirmation, you know, before I started pushing. And so then I started to push and I was like, whoa, this is so different, whole different landscape of pushing because I really needed to find the place to push into. Took me a couple of times and then finally I found it. And then I would like push down into it. And ⁓ it was a struggle. Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Right. The Mother Daze: like it still took another hour of pushing at that point. So this had been like four or five hours total of pushing, but another hour of pushing because what we didn't know at this time is that she had her hand by her head. And so she was coming down a little like a lot, not lopsided, but like a little off from, you know, optimal and her hand was by her face. And so, Merelise Wilson: ⁓ Yeah. The Mother Daze: she gets down finally after a million pushes where every time I'm like, I'm like, ⁓ like, is there any progress? Is there progress? And I'd like put my hand down and I could feel her head closer, you know, and then I would be like, okay, there's progress. And then I would push again and I'd feel her head closer and closer and closer until I could feel it like, you know, right there at the at Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Mm-hmm. The Mother Daze: you know, the ring of fire and the ring of fire lasted longer than I would have wanted it to because and I could really feel it. But that's because she still had her hand there and I didn't know that. And so we finally I finally get her head out. ⁓ But her shoulders stuck. And so the doctor knows that immediately she's like shoulders stuck, but I was already in hands and knees. I was already in the Gaskin maneuver and we're stuck. And so she's like Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Hmm Right? Yeah. The Mother Daze: Okay, we have to do this maneuver where you pull your, you get up in a lunge. We're gonna pull your right leg all the way up by your ear. We're gonna get you in that lunge and we're gonna try to like get the baby out that way. And so we did that. We did one push. Didn't work, didn't, happened. So she's like, okay, we're taking you over onto your back. Put me on my back. And she does this whole like clothespin maneuver where she like pulls my leg. They pull my legs out and then they push my legs all the way up by my ears. Merelise Wilson: Mm. The Mother Daze: and she's got her hands in and she's like maneuvering the baby and I'm pushing, but I'm also being coached because at this point I got two people, I got one person on my belly, one person pushing on my pelvis. She's got her hands in so everyone's sort of pushing and I'm pushing too. Then we get her right arm, one of her, I think it's her right arm. Her right arm comes out, doctor pulls it out and then she has to get the other shoulder free. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. ⁓ my gosh. The Mother Daze: And so in the next push, she gets the other shoulder free and then the whole baby comes out and and it the baby's huge. I mean, they put her on me and they had told me right before she came out, Sarah, just so you know, it's been a long time. The baby's going to have to go right over to the warmer. I was like, OK, pull baby out. And as soon as she comes out, doctors putting her towards me and put her on me, it's like three. Merelise Wilson: No. The Mother Daze: two, one. She starts crying immediately. They're like, yes. And then so that's great. She's crying. They're like, you know, rubbing her down a little bit. We're like, I'm I'm crying like she's finally out. ⁓ my gosh, we're so excited. Like all these things. ⁓ And she's okay. And they need to check on her to make sure that she's okay here and her clavicle and all that because ⁓ it's tricky. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. Ugh. The Mother Daze: and with a a Dish-Dosha baby and then ⁓ they take her over to the to the warmer and I start hemorrhaging. I don't know it. ⁓ So there was a little bit of like panic I could tell from that. They started to give me three different medications immediately for the hemorrhaging that's happening. I could tell my husband was worried at this point. ⁓ I mean, I think he'd been worried a little bit throughout that. But then Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. The Mother Daze: I think he just like was looking at us thinking he was going to lose us both. And it was kind of like a scary moment for him. And ⁓ he said that it was so much blood. ⁓ Then they started to get the hemorrhaging was slowing down and things got more calm. And she like had to check me to see if I tore and I didn't tear. And so she's like checking on that. Merelise Wilson: That's amazing. The Mother Daze: The baby we find out is 11 pounds, four ounces. They bring her back to me. I'm holding her. I'm like, ⁓ my God, you know, and, then I'm like, the medicine you gave me, should that make me feel weird? And then I was like, ⁓ and then I just started throwing up, threw up so, so, so much. Eric's got a throw up bag off to the side. Baby's head's right here. I'm like trying not to throw up on her and the medicine made me sick. ⁓ Merelise Wilson: No. Mm. Which medicine was it? The, like, the pitocin? okay. Stop the hemorrhaging. Huh. The Mother Daze: The three different things they give you for yeah for it to like Stop you from hemorrhaging. Yeah, and then but it could have been anything honestly. I'm so sensitive to medication so then that's done and I'm like, okay, she's here. I'm okay like we're good and ⁓ And it was honestly the most amazing labor such a beautiful birth Merelise Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. The Mother Daze: It got so intense and I was fully aware of how intense it was. It was scary. But baby's out. Mom was healthy. Baby was healthy and we were okay. So anyway, that was that one. Merelise Wilson: Hmm. Oh God. That's absolutely wild. Thank God that you didn't decide on a home birth for that one. know, isn't that wild? It's like, oh my gosh. I mean, it would have had a transfer and it would have been fine, but yeah, it's just, that's absolutely crazy. And you know, you, yeah. And you always think like, I joked, cause I knew, I knew this was going to be a crazy story, but you know, I joked when you started to tell it like, Oh, you've already had three babies. So, you know, The Mother Daze: Crazy. Yeah, but still. insane. Merelise Wilson: This will be easy peasy, but like you said in the beginning, every birth story is so different. Every birth is so different. And do you think, know, after a few like same mom, same dad, everything, it's going to be somewhat similar, but then it just, yeah, it's wild. The Mother Daze: Yeah. It's crazy. I know. Isn't that so nuts? Yeah. And they do say like births get easier, right? But ⁓ I would say that in some ways they do, because you kind of know what to expect. But then there's also like unexpected things that come up, life moments and also just like, yeah, it's wild. It's wild. Huge baby. Merelise Wilson: Right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's absolutely wild. 11 pounds, four ounces is a huge baby suit. And to not tear, ⁓ my gosh, that's amazing. Absolutely amazing. The Mother Daze: ⁓ so thank you much for me. And ⁓ was amazing. And ⁓ sorry, I I talked a lot, but it's for births. ⁓ Yes. Merelise Wilson: ⁓ my god, thank you! ⁓ No, I love it. Also, before you go, I always close by asking my guests to describe birth in three words. No pressure. The Mother Daze: Ooh, three words. ⁓ Joyful life changing is two words, but one minute. Merelise Wilson: Mm-hmm. We can do a little hyphen. It's okay. The Mother Daze: life-changing, and a gift. Merelise Wilson: Mmm, I love that. ⁓ well, thank you so, so much. I really appreciate you spending time talking about your four babies, revisiting all of that. was just, it was magical. So thank you. The Mother Daze: Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. It was amazing. Merelise Wilson: Of course, of course. You've been listening to the Arrivals Podcast. Until next time.