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Embrace the Pain: No Excuses, Just Get It Done · Motivation Mindset Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I realized that God wasn't going to give me a
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: get out of jail free card. And from the time
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: I was born and to the time I was nineteen
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: years old, my life had these hurdles.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: I constantly hit.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Obstacles, obstacle after obstacle after obstacle, and I had to
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: figure out how to manage suffering, how to deal with
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: it because it'd be part of my life forever, at
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: least that's what I thought.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: So in order to deal.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: With it, I had to be able to conquer it
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: and overcome it and deal with it and know that
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: in this suffering there has to be some kind of growth.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: With every obstacle I look at as friction. Now, without friction,
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: there is no growth. You have to have friction in
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: your life to grow. So I started looking at all
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: these different things versus the woe was me mentality, like.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Oh my God, look at my life. My life.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: So I come from this family, I'm being beaten, I'm
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: being abused.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Mentally, physically. I started looking at it as a perfect
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: trial ground.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: So I put upside down and say, Okay, I'm suffering
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: tremendously mentally. Use this to your advantage versus your disadvantage.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: So that's why I did versus looking at it as like,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: oh my god, what was me. I'm never gonna get
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: out of here. I looked at it, Okay, hang on
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: a second, Hang on a second. If I can overcome this,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: if I can find some power in this, some way
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: to get through this, that right there would be the
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: fuel for the rest of my life. And so I
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: found great strength and suffering, great strength in it. Because
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: why through all of that it started to callous my
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: mind over the victim's mentality.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: This whole thing about suffering. Yeah, it sucks really bad,
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: really really bad.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: But we all live on this side of suffering, on
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: this side, this nice box that's very comfortable that we
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: know when everything's gonna happen.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: We're in it. It's good, we know how everything's gonna
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: turn out.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: It's those few people who are willing to go on
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: this side of suffering, and once.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: They get through that.
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: Ask him how he feels now his mind, how far
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: he grew in that short period of time. He grew
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: so much more than the normal person because he was
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: willing to go outside himself.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Because on the other end of suffering, it's greatness. It's
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: not over here. So a whole bunch of us we
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: put ourselves in this.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Great box, and in that box there's no suffering in it.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: So what we do is result to ourselves from greatness.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: So for me, for instance, I was three hundred damn
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: pounds at one time in my life.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: Spray for cockroaches made one thousand dollars a month. I
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: was living in that box.
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: I would sometimes look over the box and I saw
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: all hell suffering storms, avalanches, tornadoes.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go over there, but I knew if
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: I can get through that. Mentally, on the other side, wasn't.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Hundred eighty five pounds persons in Navy seal went through
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: ranger school.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: Only person to do this, only person do that, only
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: person do this. But that's do all that, all that
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: I have to go through. So you peek over the
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: box and you go back in and say, oh.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: I'm okay being three hundred pounds making thousand dollars a month.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: I'm okay over here.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: And on the other side is when you start to
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: really start your journey. People think they start their journey
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: because they're born. No, there's a lot of people in
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: graves who have lived one hundred years and have never
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: started their real journey.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: Your real journey starts.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: When you go outside that box and you start climbing
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: mountains and start climbing mountains, and you think you get
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: the top of the mountain. You go down there outside
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: of it, think I'm here, and you look up there's
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: another fountain. And it goes on and it goes on
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: and it goes on, and just when you're getting ready
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: to quit, you crash that final mountain and you get
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: down and you look and there you are, and it
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: starts to make sense to you. Then it's so easy
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: to get lost in the fog of life. Tragedy hunts
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: us all, and any event that causes suffering will linger
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: longer than it should if you let it. Because our
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: sad stories enable us to grade ourselves on a forgiving curve.
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: They give us latitude and justification.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: To stay lazy, weak minded mother, and the longer it
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: takes for us to process that pain, the harder it
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: is to reclaim our lives. Sometimes weakness and laziness are
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: rooted in hate and anger, and until we receive the confession, apology,
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: or compensation we believe we are owed, we stay stuck
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: in our shit. As a form of self righteous rebellion
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: against our tormentors or even against life itself.
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: Some of us become entitled.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: We think our pain entitles us to feel sorry for ourselves,
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: or that we are entitled to good fortune because we survived.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Hell.
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: Of course, feeling title doesn't make it so.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Understand the clock is always ticking, and at some point
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: your golden hour will expire.
• 5:08
  Speaker 5: Unless you take action.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: People who get lost in their past, the ones who
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: bore their friends and family with the same tragic story
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: over and over without showing a hint of progress, remind
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: me of a skydiver who becomes too fixated on their
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: tangled parachute. They know they have a backup ready to go,
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: but burns so much time trying to fix the primary
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: chute that they forget to track their ultimeter, and by
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: the time they cut the first chewed away and pull
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: the second rip chord, it's too late. Part of the
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: problem is that they have become terrified of pulling that
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: second chord, because if it's also up, then they truly
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: will be helpless. That is a mental trap set by fear.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: We cannot afford to remain afraid of cutting away dead
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: weight to save ourselves. I was that skydiver for far
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: too long. My father was violent, my mom was broken.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: I was bullied, laughed at, and misunderstood check check and checkmate.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: And yet I was breathing free, and I was not
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: bleeding physically. I was alive and well and perfectly capable
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: of cutting all of that bullshit way. I'd wasted way
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: too much of my life telling myself the same sad story.
• 6:30
  Speaker 5: I needed to move forward. It was time to write
• 6:33
  Speaker 5: something new.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: If an act of God or nature tore your life apart,
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: the good news is that you really have nobody to blame.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Yet the randomness of it all can feel so personal,
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: as if you've been marked for doom by the fates.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: If you feel wrong by somebody else, you may be
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: waiting on a confession or an apology in order to
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: move forward. But I'm sorry to say the apology that
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: tearful confession you've been dreaming of will never come. The
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: good news is you don't need anybody else to free
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: you from your trauma.
• 7:09
  Speaker 5: You can do it on your own.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: My father never apologized to me, nobody ever said sorry
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: for anything I went through. I had to come to
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: the conclusion that while I didn't deserve any of it.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: I was my main problem and primary obstacle. I'd given
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Trunnisgoggins all my power. I had to take it back.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: I had to diffuse my demon. I had to shrink
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: him down to the lowly pathetic figure he was by
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: humanizing him. Just as there was no other way to
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: come out of the gauntlet that was my childhood except
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: stup I had to see that he was a mortally
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: up piece of shit because of what he went through.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Once I understood that, it was up to me to
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: either do the hard work to break that cycle or
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: stay cursed. Like medics on the scene of a car accident,
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: we all must act with a sense of urgency and
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: tune into that ticking clock in the back of our minds,
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: because there is a drop dead time on everything we
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: do in life. All our dreams and visions come with
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: expiration dates etched an invisible ink. Windows of opportunity can
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: and do close, so it is imperative that we do
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: not waste time on both. None of us have any
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: clue what's coming for us or when our time might
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: run out, which is why I do my best to
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: ignore anything that is counterproductive. I'm not suggesting we act
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: like robots, but we need to understand that forward motion
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: gives our lives momentum. We need to remember that sometimes
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: chaos will descend, and a clear highway can be wiped
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: out by a flash flood in the blink of an eye.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: When that happens, a lot of motherfuckers look for a
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: cozy place to hunker down and hide out until the
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: storm passes on human they say, when Holy Hell rains
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: down upon them and they feel drained and powerless, they
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: cannot conceive of a way to keep going. I understand
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: that impulse, but if I had succumbed to the I'm
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: only human mentality, I never would have dug myself out
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: of the deep home I was in at twenty four
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: years old, because the second you utter those words, the
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: white towel is fluttering in the air, and your mind
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: stops looking for more fuel. I didn't know for sure
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: if I'd ever find my way out of the darkness.
• 9:33
  Speaker 5: I just knew that I could.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Not throw in the towel, and neither can you, because
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: there is no towel in our corner.
• 9:40
  Speaker 5: There is only water and a cut man.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: And if those are your only options, you have no
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: choice but to keep fighting until you overcome every last
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: thing that once held you the back. You have been
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: preoccupied by bullet for way too long. It's time to
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: switch your focus to the things that will sling shot
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: you forward. For some reason, God put me in almost
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: every sub situation on the planet Earth. So when I
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: talk to people, it's not sugarcoated because I'm not saying
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: it from them. I wasn't hurt seventy five pounds my
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: whole life. I don't say much of those people. Maybe
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: you're a piece of shit, Maybe you're you want to
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: be nobody. Maybe you're happy exactly where you are in life,
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: because obviously you are. Maybe you don't have the determination
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: to be somebody better than who you are, and if
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: you want to.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: Live with that, I'll support you in that. If you're
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: good with being who.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: You are, then every day you wake up and every
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: day you smell like it because you can't wash your
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: body well and your skin's messed up because your health
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: is so bad and you can't put your clothes on right.
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: You need help with that. You help, Like when I
• 10:50
  Speaker 5: was staring, I need to help wiping my ass.
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: That makes you feel good.
• 10:56
  Speaker 5: Nothing gonna say to you if every day you wake
• 10:59
  Speaker 5: up with this. See, people are haunted.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: But they obviously like horror films because they keep watching
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: the same movie.
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: I don't like horror films. A lot of people like
• 11:08
  Speaker 5: horror films, so I don't say much to them.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I say exactly what I said to you right there,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: because I always once you I didn't like horror films,
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: so I changed it. Some people are just they become
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: like you said.
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: It gets real small.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: When you're lazy and you're fat your will, their will
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: is so small that they don't have any and you.
• 11:30
  Speaker 5: Can't give it to them.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: There has to be something.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: This is what I'm talking about now, because this isn't
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: a hack.
• 11:38
  Speaker 5: This has to be in you. Something in you has
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: to wake up, and usually the only person that can
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: wake it up is you.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you can read a David Gagin's book because I
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: was all this and then a lot more up. But
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: if you don't have a little flame, you know, just that,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: just barely. If you're done, I can't light it for you.
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: You have to explore, examine the inside of yourself and
• 12:09
  Speaker 5: what do you really wanted to like?
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: When I first got into endurance events, I love the
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: breakdown phase because the suffering made me feel alive.
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: And reminded me that I'd gone all out this time.
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: I didn't relish it in the same way, but I
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: knew that breakdown was a byproduct of an all out effort,
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: and that if I explore the crevices of my mind,
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: I would find valuable lessons which tend.
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: To spill out with any unraveling. Most people prefer to avoid.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Breakdowns like this because the suffering can be so overwhelming
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: it just might mark you forever. I embrace breakdown and
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: welcome the scar. There is a hell of a lot
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: of information is scar tissue. Scars are proof that the
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: past is real. Physical scars never go away, and when
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: you look at them, they can bring you right back
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: to a specific place in time. But the scar tissue
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: that builds up around that old injury is weak. Professional
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: fighters who've been hitting the face thousands of times bleed
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: faster than those who have never been punched. Once you've
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: been cut deep, you are forever vulnerable to bleeding. The
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: same is true for the mental and emotional scars that
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: we all carry with us. Scars we cannot see. They
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: might be invisible, but they affect us much more severely
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: than physical scars. And emotional scars are our weak spots,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: and they can open up just as easily as physical
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: scars unless we do the work to strengthen them. If
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: you haven't dealt with your scars, they can alter your
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: life's path.
• 13:51
  Speaker 5: You will be prone to.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: Failure during difficult physical and emotional situations, whether that's during
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: an athletic event, at work or in your home life,
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: and eventually you will land back in front of your
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: mirror that never lies. Breakdown is its own kind of mirror.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: Whatever you're made of is laid out in front of you,
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: clear and playing. Your history and mindset become a weathered
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: old map ridged with your scars, and if you read
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: them like an archaeologist on a dig, you might uncover
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: the code you need to rise again and become better
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: and stronger, because there is no transformation without breakdown, and
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: there is always another evolution, another skin to shed, a
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: better or deeper version of ourselves waiting to be revealed,