Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / Vicky Christina Madelyn Cline
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and
- 0:01Speaker 1: Mighty Tour. In August, you can find me in Red Bank,
- 0:05Speaker 1: New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary that's Canada. And
- 0:09Speaker 1: September I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New
- 0:12Speaker 1: York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise,
- 0:21Speaker 1: Idaho and Spokane. And then in November I'll be in
- 0:25Speaker 1: San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston,
- 0:28Speaker 1: Dallas Babies, I'll be there. And then in December I
- 0:31Speaker 1: am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So
- 0:35Speaker 1: get your tickets at Chelseahandler dot com for the High
- 0:38Speaker 1: and Mighty Tour. Hello Catherine, Hi, Chelsea.
- 0:42Speaker 2: Are you fluent in Spanish yet?
- 0:44Speaker 1: I am doing pretty well. I mean, my driver in
- 0:47Speaker 1: New York's named Rafa and he speaks Spanish and he
- 0:51Speaker 1: cannot believe how much I've improved in two weeks.
- 0:54Speaker 2: Oh fantastic.
- 0:55Speaker 1: Yeah, he didn't know I went to school in Spain,
- 0:57Speaker 1: so I told him in Spanish and he was like,
- 1:01Speaker 1: and then he started and then He's like, oh my god,
- 1:03Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be able to correct you anymore. And
- 1:04Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, don't worry, You'll find a fucking way
- 1:06Speaker 1: and then of course within it. But yeah, he was
- 1:08Speaker 1: really impressed. And also a couple of people I work
- 1:12Speaker 1: with where I was talking Spanish with, so I definitely
- 1:15Speaker 1: understand a lot more and I know a lot more.
- 1:18Speaker 1: I'm not fluent, but I am definitely way better than
- 1:22Speaker 1: I was when I out there. So that's exciting.
- 1:25Speaker 3: I notice you've been improving with your like low and
- 1:27Speaker 3: lot like the I think it's the possessive stuff.
- 1:29Speaker 2: I mean, you're crushing it.
- 1:31Speaker 1: I just I loved my time alone. It felt like
- 1:33Speaker 1: I was a mother away from her children, even though
- 1:35Speaker 1: I don't have children. I just walked to school every
- 1:38Speaker 1: day by myself with my little rucksack. And then I mean,
- 1:42Speaker 1: I don't have a rucksack, but I just wanted to
- 1:44Speaker 1: throw that out there. And then I already had like
- 1:46Speaker 1: a group of doctors. By day three, I was getting
- 1:49Speaker 1: a massage and then I was like, oh, I need
- 1:51Speaker 1: to get this kind of dry needling they had this.
- 1:54Speaker 1: Madrid is such a beautiful city. So many of my
- 1:56Speaker 1: friends were coming through Madrid unbeknownst to me, so that
- 2:00Speaker 1: was a surprise. I'd go to school for three hours,
- 2:03Speaker 1: my teacher only, my professora only spoke Spanish, and then
- 2:08Speaker 1: after that I would take myself to some ridiculously delightful lunch,
- 2:12Speaker 1: have like two glasses of wine, and then I'd walk
- 2:16Speaker 1: through the streets of Madrid. It was heaven on earth.
- 2:19Speaker 3: How lovely You're just like, fill your life with whimsy's.
- 2:22Speaker 1: I just loved it. I just was so happy. Everyone
- 2:25Speaker 1: at the hotel was like they kept testing me on
- 2:27Speaker 1: my Spanish day three, day four, and I was like
- 2:30Speaker 1: Eloise at the plaza. I just was like, I was
- 2:33Speaker 1: just so happy. I love I just belong in a hotel.
- 2:38Speaker 4: Aha.
- 2:39Speaker 3: I agree with that. How did your blind date go?
- 2:41Speaker 3: By the way, did that materialize?
- 2:43Speaker 1: I don't think I went on a blind date.
- 2:44Speaker 5: No.
- 2:45Speaker 1: I was set up with people like friends, not like
- 2:47Speaker 1: in a romantic matter.
- 2:49Speaker 5: No.
- 2:49Speaker 1: I didn't even think about men. Honestly. There was one
- 2:52Speaker 1: guy that was trying to hit on me once. I
- 2:54Speaker 1: was in the bar at my restaurant and I was like,
- 2:57Speaker 1: is this guy hitting and he was. I mean, he's
- 3:00Speaker 1: to have been twenty years old and he was like seriously
- 3:02Speaker 1: trying to stray, and I was like, I was like,
- 3:04Speaker 1: at one point I wanted to go. I meant to say,
- 3:07Speaker 1: like not signor but whatever the other word for it
- 3:11Speaker 1: is in Spanish, but I couldn't think of what it was.
- 3:13Speaker 1: I was about to call him like boy, and then
- 3:16Speaker 1: I'm like, don't call him boy. That's not right either.
- 3:18Speaker 1: But I wanted to be like, I could be your mother.
- 3:20Speaker 1: Get away from me. I'm not interested in that. I
- 3:23Speaker 1: like young boys, I mean not, I like young men.
- 3:25Speaker 1: I don't. I don't like young boys, you know what
- 3:27Speaker 1: I mean? Like, it's got to be something like in
- 3:30Speaker 1: the appropriate ag urge. Not interested anyway. I'm home now,
- 3:34Speaker 1: I'm in New York City and we have a great
- 3:36Speaker 1: episode today. You know this actress, she was adorable from
- 3:41Speaker 1: Glass Onions, Stranger Things, and her hit series which is
- 3:44Speaker 1: now in its final season, Outer Banks. Please welcome Madeline Kleine.
- 3:49Speaker 1: Oh my god, we have Madeline Klein here today. Hi, Cutie, ptuity,
- 3:53Speaker 1: fresh and fruity. What were you talking about? You're talking
- 3:56Speaker 1: about snowboarding?
- 3:56Speaker 2: Yeah so, I so we were talking about how wake
- 4:00Speaker 2: poarding makes you feel like you can absolutely snowboard because
- 4:03Speaker 2: it's kind of the same thing.
- 4:05Speaker 1: Yes, I understand this. Yes, I had a very easy
- 4:08Speaker 1: time wagsurfing the very first time I did it. I
- 4:10Speaker 1: think I got up on the first time I did too.
- 4:12Speaker 1: Have you been water skiing? No, okay, that's much more hard.
- 4:15Speaker 1: That's much more.
- 4:16Speaker 2: Difficult, especially when they do it on like the one ski.
- 4:18Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't do that.
- 4:19Speaker 2: That's insane.
- 4:20Speaker 1: I can't water ski period. And I can snow ski
- 4:23Speaker 1: really well, but I can't water ski.
- 4:24Speaker 2: I just know I would wipe out and like break
- 4:26Speaker 2: every bone in my face.
- 4:27Speaker 1: It feels like if one of your legs goes in
- 4:30Speaker 1: the wrong direction, all your dog breaks. Oh you're great,
- 4:33Speaker 1: and it does, it does. It's not pretty where you
- 4:35Speaker 1: wipe out.
- 4:36Speaker 2: No, So I went snowbarning for my birthday in twenty
- 4:41Speaker 2: twenty one, I think.
- 4:43Speaker 1: And I like the way you said twenty one twenty one.
- 4:50Speaker 1: Thank you.
- 4:51Speaker 2: It's Christian. I'm trying to enunciate more because a lot
- 4:54Speaker 2: of times I just so, I've been on I've been
- 4:57Speaker 2: on like red carpet interviews, and I go back and
- 5:01Speaker 2: I rewatch it and I'm like, I sound so drunk,
- 5:04Speaker 2: and then I'll like, look at the comments and they're like, oh,
- 5:06Speaker 2: our girls gone, and I'm like, I really wasn't maybe
- 5:10Speaker 2: had a glass or two before that gone.
- 5:12Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll record a stand up set that I'm doing
- 5:15Speaker 1: and I always have a drink before I go on stage, obviously,
- 5:18Speaker 1: and I yeah, of course, and I then I look
- 5:20Speaker 1: and then I'll watch it and think and like I'll
- 5:22Speaker 1: be like, oh, clip that for socials to my social team,
- 5:26Speaker 1: and then they'll send it to me and I'm like,
- 5:27Speaker 1: oh my, I'm like, look for this area when I'm
- 5:29Speaker 1: talking about this, and I'm like, my god. But there's
- 5:33Speaker 1: just like an as soon as yeah, because if I
- 5:35Speaker 1: don't have a drink, I talk too fast, I talk
- 5:37Speaker 1: like this, I have to take it down.
- 5:40Speaker 2: Yeah, if I don't, if I don't have a drink
- 5:42Speaker 2: or beta blocker bone.
- 5:44Speaker 1: Right or beta blacker, I take beta blackers as well.
- 5:46Speaker 2: I get so scared and so anxious and I'm like
- 5:50Speaker 2: and then I'm like what I'm saying is so stupid.
- 5:53Speaker 2: And then I just to.
- 5:56Speaker 3: Be fair, some of those questions are stupid.
- 5:58Speaker 2: Like.
- 6:00Speaker 1: Who are you wearing? That's the stupid question.
- 6:02Speaker 2: I know. I hate that.
- 6:03Speaker 1: It's like why do also have to talk about that?
- 6:05Speaker 2: Who cares.
- 6:07Speaker 1: I mean, well, I mean some people, the designer does care,
- 6:11Speaker 1: so that's for their but like sometimes it's just not
- 6:15Speaker 1: I don't know, it doesn't always feel like an appropriate question.
- 6:17Speaker 2: No, because it's like the designer obviously does care, but
- 6:20Speaker 2: like for the majority of the people watching, I don't
- 6:22Speaker 2: think it's really like the most.
- 6:24Speaker 1: Most important thing. And also when we post it, you
- 6:27Speaker 1: give credit to who you're wearing. Anyway, it's just a
- 6:30Speaker 1: silly conversation to have.
- 6:31Speaker 2: I agree, it's like also a really weird opener.
- 6:36Speaker 1: And then you're away. It's my wedding, obviously I'm wearing
- 6:40Speaker 1: You're away. I've been married multiple times, oh my god,
- 6:43Speaker 1: yeah seven seven. I've never been married. Oh and I
- 6:47Speaker 1: will never be married.
- 6:48Speaker 2: I think that's chic. I know.
- 6:50Speaker 1: I think it would be cute to get engaged, yeah,
- 6:52Speaker 1: and just stay engaged and keep having engagement parties.
- 6:55Speaker 2: I'm just like, just give me the fucking ring.
- 6:58Speaker 1: But do you need the ring from some man? I mean,
- 7:00Speaker 1: can't you buy your own ring?
- 7:01Speaker 2: Yeah, but I don't really feel like paying for it.
- 7:03Speaker 1: If he will, right, okay, I copy you know what
- 7:05Speaker 1: I mean.
- 7:05Speaker 2: Then I can go some of my money like another ring.
- 7:11Speaker 1: You've never been married. You're too young to be married.
- 7:13Speaker 2: I've never been old for you.
- 7:15Speaker 1: Twenty eight, twenty eight, okay, that's not too young.
- 7:17Speaker 2: To the other day, so well, someone asked me my age,
- 7:21Speaker 2: and I was like, twenty six or twenty seven. Wait,
- 7:30Speaker 2: I don't know.
- 7:31Speaker 1: Did you forget or you just oh, you did.
- 7:33Speaker 2: Genuinely forgot, And I'm not even I'm neither twenty six
- 7:37Speaker 2: nor my twenty seven. I'm actually twenty eighty eight. But
- 7:40Speaker 2: I actually forgot, and I had to go and do
- 7:42Speaker 2: the math because I just did you.
- 7:44Speaker 1: Do the math? You went and I came. You went
- 7:49Speaker 1: back to the you were born and counted back.
- 7:51Speaker 2: Seven eight and I went one hundred. I just genuinely
- 7:58Speaker 2: stopped caring. I think about which birthday it was after
- 8:03Speaker 2: twenty five, twenty fifth.
- 8:05Speaker 1: Yeah, well you'll care again at thirty, and then thirty
- 8:07Speaker 1: five and then forty.
- 8:09Speaker 2: I'm excited about thirty.
- 8:10Speaker 1: It's gonna get better and better and better, so you
- 8:13Speaker 1: have nothing to worry about. Life gets better as a woman.
- 8:15Speaker 1: The more experience you have being a woman, the better
- 8:19Speaker 1: it gets.
- 8:20Speaker 2: Like the closer I get to thirty is I can
- 8:22Speaker 2: feel my court is all dropping. It's awesome. I'm like, okay, great,
- 8:27Speaker 2: I'm getting less stressed.
- 8:29Speaker 1: That's a good I'm mad for something.
- 8:31Speaker 2: Making it for a day to block. I really I
- 8:35Speaker 2: really need to, Like I need to invent something. I
- 8:37Speaker 2: need to invent a brand. Maybe I can do something.
- 8:40Speaker 2: Maybe that's my ad.
- 8:41Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's a good tagline for whatever your ad is.
- 8:45Speaker 1: The closer I get to thirty, I can feel the
- 8:47Speaker 1: cord is all dropping.
- 8:48Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'm like, well, then I wonder how thirties
- 8:51Speaker 2: are gonna I'm gonna have zero cord is all at all.
- 8:53Speaker 3: That's the thing like, as you age, you kind of
- 8:55Speaker 3: like care less about what other people think.
- 8:56Speaker 2: You become more of yourself and I think they're awesome.
- 8:59Speaker 3: You have to take an active role in that a
- 9:00Speaker 3: little bit too, But I think it also just happens
- 9:02Speaker 3: as you age.
- 9:03Speaker 1: So are you a millennial or No, You're not a millennial,
- 9:06Speaker 1: You're gen Z.
- 9:06Speaker 2: I'm like a millennial gen Z cuss cusp. Yeah, so
- 9:10Speaker 2: but I feel like I am technically gen Z. But
- 9:12Speaker 2: I feel like sometimes I do millennial things like the
- 9:16Speaker 2: millennial pause that everyone like flames millennials for doing, like
- 9:20Speaker 2: like when you go on Cameo and you get a
- 9:23Speaker 2: cameo from like Jax Taylor, and he's like, you can
- 9:26Speaker 2: tell he like.
- 9:29Speaker 1: Not that you've done that.
- 9:30Speaker 2: No, I have it, but I've seen someone else's and
- 9:35Speaker 2: and he like is recording and it's like literally three
- 9:37Speaker 2: seconds where he's just waiting for it to start. Oh,
- 9:42Speaker 2: I have I have done that. It's embarrassing. I did
- 9:45Speaker 2: get a cameo from Boston rob.
- 9:48Speaker 1: I've never gotten a cameo for someone. Yeah, but people
- 9:51Speaker 1: seem to like that as a gift.
- 9:52Speaker 2: It's it's really funny. I think as a gag gift.
- 9:54Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, not as a serious gift, no, like an
- 9:57Speaker 1: ironic yeah, because usually the people who are giving you're
- 10:00Speaker 1: providing the cameos, are you know.
- 10:02Speaker 2: They're it's the Jacks Taylor's of the world.
- 10:04Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean no, it's that's not gonna sound good. However,
- 10:08Speaker 1: I try to clean up, so never mind, I'll just
- 10:10Speaker 1: step right go rotten hail. Anyway, sign up for cameo.
- 10:16Speaker 1: Everybody get a cameo, get a cameo account, or maybe.
- 10:19Speaker 2: Maybe we could do a one for someone together, you
- 10:22Speaker 2: and me.
- 10:23Speaker 1: I would love to do they can.
- 10:24Speaker 2: Do one for Boston Rott.
- 10:25Speaker 1: Wish we should create the next level of cameos cameo
- 10:30Speaker 1: plus for more legitimate.
- 10:32Speaker 2: People, it's like Ryan for cameo cameo exactly.
- 10:39Speaker 1: What is your biggest dating deal breaker?
- 10:42Speaker 2: I feel like sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone,
- 10:45Speaker 2: especially when it's new, I'm like, I'm always like I
- 10:47Speaker 2: feel like I'm being pranked because there's like you hit
- 10:50Speaker 2: like a certain month mark and all of a sudden
- 10:51Speaker 2: they start being mean or.
- 10:53Speaker 1: They start being real. Yeah, right, you start to see
- 10:57Speaker 1: them like they're real. Do you think that month mark
- 10:59Speaker 1: is how many?
- 11:00Speaker 2: I feel like it's like it's always been kind of
- 11:02Speaker 2: like three for me. Yeah, if I even make it
- 11:04Speaker 2: that far, like because I feel like I'm always away
- 11:08Speaker 2: like on right working, so I feel like it usually
- 11:11Speaker 2: expedites that process.
- 11:13Speaker 1: Yes, well, I feel like it's kind of similarly. I
- 11:17Speaker 1: also date like a lot of long distance people, so
- 11:20Speaker 1: it takes longer to get to that three month mark.
- 11:23Speaker 1: So it usually happens around the five or six month mark. True,
- 11:25Speaker 1: where you start to see more than you saw in
- 11:28Speaker 1: the beginning, totally, where it's not all sunshine and roses. Yes,
- 11:31Speaker 1: What is something that somebody would have to do to
- 11:34Speaker 1: ike you out in a dating scenario.
- 11:37Speaker 2: The problem is, like I get the eggs so easily.
- 11:39Speaker 2: Me too. I'm like, what's the littlest thing you've gotten
- 11:41Speaker 2: a neck from? I like like mouth breathing, like closeure mouth.
- 11:45Speaker 1: Yeah. I don't like when it's somebody a man, says
- 11:48Speaker 1: they're going to go take care of something and then
- 11:50Speaker 1: they come back empty handed.
- 11:52Speaker 2: I don't like that either.
- 11:53Speaker 1: Like even if it's just like if we're out of
- 11:55Speaker 1: function and then we can't find the bar and I'm like, okay,
- 11:58Speaker 1: you need to go get us the drinks. Yeah that's where,
- 12:00Speaker 1: and they're like I couldn't get it, and it's like, no,
- 12:02Speaker 1: that's not an option.
- 12:04Speaker 2: Use your brain.
- 12:05Speaker 1: You have to can't come back empty handed. It doesn't
- 12:07Speaker 1: have to be only alcohol focused either. I just want
- 12:10Speaker 1: to make this clear. I don't know, it has to
- 12:12Speaker 1: be task focused. If you're getting me something, yeah, get
- 12:15Speaker 1: the job done and don't come back until you've got
- 12:17Speaker 1: it done, because like I would never if you needed
- 12:19Speaker 1: something and I said I was gonna get it, I
- 12:21Speaker 1: would come back with it.
- 12:22Speaker 2: Or just like okay, so this maybe wasn't like a
- 12:25Speaker 2: relationship thing. But like on the same note, it's like
- 12:28Speaker 2: when people don't like use like their brain or common
- 12:30Speaker 2: sense to like solve a problem.
- 12:32Speaker 1: Right.
- 12:32Speaker 2: Like I was on a trip one time and the
- 12:36Speaker 2: person I was on the trip with like, we were
- 12:39Speaker 2: our like our tickets to like this one, our tickets
- 12:44Speaker 2: are the QR code was not scanning, and then like
- 12:48Speaker 2: they just stood there and I was like, go go
- 12:52Speaker 2: to the ticket like wait, go talk to someone, and
- 12:54Speaker 2: they were like, I just don't know what to do.
- 12:56Speaker 2: And I'm like, so I had to sprint to the offices,
- 12:58Speaker 2: like try to express what was going on. The boat
- 13:02Speaker 2: was about to leave, and it was just like it's
- 13:06Speaker 2: just I don't like feeling like I have to do everything.
- 13:11Speaker 1: I think women in general are feeling this place. We
- 13:14Speaker 1: are exhausted.
- 13:15Speaker 2: I'm exhausted by.
- 13:16Speaker 1: Being so efficient. Yes, what I get done in the
- 13:19Speaker 1: first two hours of my day would rival what any
- 13:22Speaker 1: man I've ever dated gets done in.
- 13:26Speaker 2: Productive like yeah, so like and I mean.
- 13:30Speaker 1: Efficient though yeah, not only productive efficient multitasking. Okay, there's
- 13:35Speaker 1: eighteen emails. I'll get them all taken care of before
- 13:37Speaker 1: I get going, and so like when when you like,
- 13:41Speaker 1: I once stated a guy who didn't answer emails, he
- 13:43Speaker 1: didn't look at emails and I was like, what do
- 13:44Speaker 1: you mean you to look at emails. You're a professional.
- 13:47Speaker 1: He's like, I only operate through texts.
- 13:49Speaker 2: I respond better to texts. I actually, no, I take
- 13:53Speaker 2: it back. I'm really bad at text I'm phone call like,
- 13:57Speaker 2: like pick up the phone.
- 13:58Speaker 1: I'm curious about people who are bad a texting because
- 14:01Speaker 1: that is like the most immediate like way to communicate.
- 14:04Speaker 1: And it's on your.
- 14:06Speaker 2: Phone, right, yeah, it's and it's coming up on my phone.
- 14:08Speaker 2: And the thing is, I am so like there's so
- 14:11Speaker 2: many things happening at one time that like I see
- 14:14Speaker 2: it and I'm like, okay, I'm going to respond to that,
- 14:16Speaker 2: so I don't open it. And then by the end
- 14:19Speaker 2: of that, by the time I have like a chance
- 14:22Speaker 2: or remember to look, there's like ten more I see
- 14:26Speaker 2: and I get so overwhelmed. Okay, and so I end
- 14:30Speaker 2: up usually like calling.
- 14:33Speaker 1: But you just said you don't like phone calls. No,
- 14:36Speaker 1: I do, Oh you do like phone calls.
- 14:37Speaker 2: I prefer because I feel like that is I don't know,
- 14:41Speaker 2: my thumbs get tired. I like that a phone call
- 14:43Speaker 2: like to respond to a text.
- 14:44Speaker 1: I think that is nice. I mean, you can't ever
- 14:47Speaker 1: get mad at a phone call. Unless you're me and
- 14:49Speaker 1: you do get mad at phone calls, but I've actually
- 14:51Speaker 1: more tapped a phone calls. Yeah, I don't like a
- 14:53Speaker 1: surprise face time, Like I don't like, but I need
- 14:56Speaker 1: you to like preliminarily discuss that with me or give
- 14:59Speaker 1: me a heads up, like I'm going to face and
- 15:01Speaker 1: the people who FaceTime me are whackad's Like I'm like,
- 15:03Speaker 1: I'm not just answering a random FaceTime but I've grown
- 15:07Speaker 1: like I've kind of gotten more okay with FaceTime. I
- 15:12Speaker 1: don't like the act of sitting there and holding a
- 15:15Speaker 1: phone for that one. You know, that's the right. So
- 15:18Speaker 1: like when you're talking the phone, you can put an
- 15:19Speaker 1: AirPod in and walk through the airport, Like I'm not
- 15:21Speaker 1: going to walk through the airport.
- 15:22Speaker 3: On a face efficiency, Yeah exactly.
- 15:25Speaker 1: I want to be on the phone and also doing
- 15:27Speaker 1: me doing other things.
- 15:28Speaker 2: Yeah that's fair. I understand that. I just feel like
- 15:31Speaker 2: I always feel like I'm able to convey information much more,
- 15:38Speaker 2: much clear, much more clearly if it is me just
- 15:42Speaker 2: my stream in my stream of consciousness, like okay, and
- 15:44Speaker 2: oh in this thought, in that thought, and I feel
- 15:48Speaker 2: like sometimes over email or text I can't quite.
- 15:52Speaker 1: Do that as well.
- 15:54Speaker 2: Yeah, I understand.
- 16:00Speaker 1: Do you have like a group of girlfriends or are
- 16:02Speaker 1: you like a best friend kind of girl? Like?
- 16:04Speaker 2: What's your I have a group, so it's I wouldn't
- 16:07Speaker 2: say it's like a girl group, but I guess it's
- 16:10Speaker 2: just a bunch of people.
- 16:12Speaker 1: Have you ever had a really bad friendship breakup? Yeah?
- 16:14Speaker 2: I've had a couple.
- 16:15Speaker 1: Really Yeah, And how do you handle that?
- 16:18Speaker 2: It's really gnarly.
- 16:20Speaker 1: It's gnarly for anyone. I was. I say this, I
- 16:23Speaker 1: was at dinner with a girlfriend last night and we
- 16:24Speaker 1: were talking about it. We had the same breakup with
- 16:26Speaker 1: the same girlfriend, and we didn't know, and so she
- 16:29Speaker 1: and so then we went to dinner when we found
- 16:31Speaker 1: out that's good and we just sat there.
- 16:34Speaker 2: And lie so much. Was it like for the same reason?
- 16:40Speaker 1: Yes, So that was like very because it was like
- 16:43Speaker 1: we both it was both unveiled that the same person
- 16:46Speaker 1: did the same thing. And I already knew that because
- 16:49Speaker 1: I've been around this town. I know a lot of
- 16:51Speaker 1: the same we know, and but it was very It
- 16:54Speaker 1: felt like we were little girls in a sense, because
- 16:57Speaker 1: you know, I'm a charger than you obviously, and you
- 17:00Speaker 1: kind of want to get out of the habit of
- 17:02Speaker 1: like gossip, but it didn't feel like gossip. It felt
- 17:05Speaker 1: like therapy. I felt being seen and validated, Like, oh,
- 17:10Speaker 1: I was exactly right in what I deduced, but it
- 17:14Speaker 1: took me so much longer than it took her to
- 17:16Speaker 1: figure out what was going on.
- 17:17Speaker 2: Right. Also, like, it's not gossip if you're just spreading awareness.
- 17:23Speaker 1: That's a great line too, that's for your other brand.
- 17:26Speaker 1: It's not gossip if you're spreading awareness. My driver the
- 17:30Speaker 1: other day said to me, it's not gossip, because I
- 17:32Speaker 1: said the same thing about this conversation to him. I go,
- 17:34Speaker 1: it was like he said, it's not gossip if it's information.
- 17:39Speaker 1: That's a thing you know, Actually, because there is a way,
- 17:43Speaker 1: there is a way where you can get with your friends,
- 17:45Speaker 1: whether they're your guy friends, girlfriends, whatever, where it can
- 17:49Speaker 1: be nasty and you're talking about someone.
- 17:52Speaker 2: It can be malicious. Yes, that is that to me,
- 17:55Speaker 2: like is toxic and bad, bad.
- 17:59Speaker 1: And a bad habit to get into on the regular.
- 18:01Speaker 2: Absolutely, Like there's no reason to say nasty things about
- 18:06Speaker 2: people if there is something that needs to be conveyed
- 18:10Speaker 2: then and if you're just telling the truth then like
- 18:13Speaker 2: if they get mad at it, then they shouldn't have
- 18:15Speaker 2: done it. Mm hmm, but I lost your.
- 18:20Speaker 1: Train of thought.
- 18:20Speaker 2: I did.
- 18:21Speaker 1: Well. Luckily we're on the phone and not texting, so
- 18:24Speaker 1: I can pick up the conversation for you. But I
- 18:28Speaker 1: do I think that's a good way to exp because
- 18:30Speaker 1: there is a way to do something meanly, and then
- 18:32Speaker 1: there is a way to just send somebody a warning
- 18:34Speaker 1: like hey, just so you know, I know that person,
- 18:36Speaker 1: and this is how that goes. And sometimes people are
- 18:39Speaker 1: on the exact same page as you and you could.
- 18:41Speaker 2: Just know they are, yeah, and you know that they're
- 18:43Speaker 2: also not saying anything in it like to paint anyone
- 18:47Speaker 2: in a bad light.
- 18:48Speaker 1: So when you do have like a friendship breakup or
- 18:51Speaker 1: any like experience that you've had, how do you handle
- 18:55Speaker 1: that situation?
- 18:56Speaker 2: Honestly, I feel like sometimes they are worse, if not
- 19:00Speaker 2: the for me, they I think both times were worse
- 19:04Speaker 2: than an actual breakup, Like, yeah, that is the worst
- 19:08Speaker 2: thing ever, and.
- 19:10Speaker 1: Because it's you know why, because it's like there's a
- 19:13Speaker 1: sisterhood and that betrayal is more unexpected than that betrayal
- 19:18Speaker 1: from a.
- 19:19Speaker 2: Guy totally, and with friendship breakups, I don't know. I
- 19:24Speaker 2: think I just like have to fully, like completely remove myself.
- 19:27Speaker 1: But do you do you let the person know like
- 19:29Speaker 1: this relationship is over, or do you ghost them.
- 19:31Speaker 2: I've not ghosted in this in this particular instance with
- 19:36Speaker 2: a friendship breakup, but like I also, it's happened two times.
- 19:42Speaker 2: The first time was something I fucked up and I
- 19:44Speaker 2: did something bad, and I spoke to her and I
- 19:48Speaker 2: was like, I'm really sorry and I did something really
- 19:51Speaker 2: bad and if you can't forgive me, I would. I
- 19:55Speaker 2: totally appreciate it, but I also understand if you won't,
- 19:59Speaker 2: and I'm sorry. And the other time it happened where
- 20:02Speaker 2: it was done to me and I have it's like
- 20:04Speaker 2: it's not ghosting, but I'm trying to figure out how
- 20:07Speaker 2: to have like the conversation I see right, you know,
- 20:12Speaker 2: because it's like it's just as painful.
- 20:15Speaker 1: Well, I think that's something you learn too. You get
- 20:17Speaker 1: better at as your age. I think you get better
- 20:19Speaker 1: at like break breakups all all across the board because
- 20:23Speaker 1: you you just realize that's kind of part of life,
- 20:25Speaker 1: and your expectations not fade as you get older, but
- 20:29Speaker 1: your expectations just aren't where they are when you're like
- 20:32Speaker 1: idealizing things like when you meet a guy when you're
- 20:35Speaker 1: in your twenties, it's a different expectation and romanticizing of
- 20:39Speaker 1: a relationship than it is if you're meet you meet
- 20:42Speaker 1: someone at my age, like you're like, oh, that'll be
- 20:44Speaker 1: a fun fling for a few months, or like, oh
- 20:47Speaker 1: this guy will be fun. Let's see what he's got.
- 20:49Speaker 1: You know, there's like an adventurous spirit, but it's not
- 20:52Speaker 1: like I'm tying myself to the end result of it. Sure,
- 20:55Speaker 1: So congratulations for this is season five of Outer Banks?
- 20:58Speaker 2: Where done?
- 21:00Speaker 1: And how does that make you feel?
- 21:01Speaker 2: I'm really really proud of of everyone, and I mean,
- 21:04Speaker 2: it's crazy that we had a show that went for
- 21:06Speaker 2: five seasons, because that's impressive. And I'm also I'm happy,
- 21:13Speaker 2: you know, it's it's time to close the book, and
- 21:17Speaker 2: I think it's bittersweet, but I think and I but
- 21:20Speaker 2: I think everybody knows and everybody is like appreciative of
- 21:24Speaker 2: how and when we've decided to cut it off. We've
- 21:28Speaker 2: told all the story and they made me pregnant, you know,
- 21:29Speaker 2: that's when it show's done.
- 21:32Speaker 1: I like the idea they made you pregnant. I like
- 21:34Speaker 1: that sentence they made like a group of men did
- 21:38Speaker 1: it problematical? Yeah, that would be problematical, which.
- 21:42Speaker 2: Definitely was not my favorite character development.
- 21:47Speaker 1: It wasn't you weren't happy about that?
- 21:50Speaker 4: I know.
- 21:52Speaker 2: I was like, it was like, I don't want to
- 21:54Speaker 2: wear the belt, Like I don't want to wear those
- 21:56Speaker 2: heavy like in the South Carolina summer where like the
- 22:00Speaker 2: heat index gets like one hundred and ten.
- 22:03Speaker 1: Yeah. When I was watching that show, I was just
- 22:05Speaker 1: thinking to myself in my sinister, well cynical way. It's
- 22:10Speaker 1: a cynical way. I was like, and tell me if
- 22:12Speaker 1: this is true, because I've never felt film to anything
- 22:15Speaker 1: in that climate, but to be on an island seems
- 22:18Speaker 1: like a nice idea, but the filming aspect is probably
- 22:22Speaker 1: not that nice. Being in the sun all fucking day long.
- 22:25Speaker 2: Yeah, it is it. I mean when we were in Barbados,
- 22:28Speaker 2: it was like, I don't know, it was both at
- 22:31Speaker 2: the same It was so beautiful and so I mean
- 22:35Speaker 2: a lot of our locations are stunning.
- 22:37Speaker 1: And so windy. Sometimes we have.
- 22:40Speaker 2: To re record sound for all of those. Oh.
- 22:43Speaker 1: I was thinking there was so much wind in some
- 22:45Speaker 1: of the scenes that I'm like, how can they even
- 22:47Speaker 1: hear each other on the set?
- 22:48Speaker 2: Eventually I have to stop down for I know, especially
- 22:51Speaker 2: when we're having like a really like intense scene in
- 22:54Speaker 2: conversation and like maybe my my psychotic brother comes into
- 22:58Speaker 2: the scene and then everyone it's like yelling at each
- 23:01Speaker 2: other and then like I don't know, Dad's dying and
- 23:04Speaker 2: it's just like your hair's in your face. It's like
- 23:07Speaker 2: it feels it starts to feel very like Scooby Doo
- 23:10Speaker 2: as like it becomes a little like silly. It's like, okay,
- 23:16Speaker 2: like what what else.
- 23:17Speaker 1: I like the way that you handle people's responses to
- 23:20Speaker 1: your growing over the course of five years or five seasons,
- 23:25Speaker 1: like your body, your face, the way you look, And
- 23:29Speaker 1: I liked your response to that. It's like, yeah, because
- 23:31Speaker 1: I'm getting older and like things have changed.
- 23:34Speaker 2: Experiences different.
- 23:35Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm eating different things. I have been through breakups.
- 23:39Speaker 1: I've been through all of those things. Like you have
- 23:41Speaker 1: changed as a person over the course of five years.
- 23:43Speaker 1: Of course you're going to start to look different after
- 23:45Speaker 1: five years.
- 23:45Speaker 2: Totally, or like you go through breakups, or like you
- 23:47Speaker 2: find like comfort and food or like I don't know, right,
- 23:50Speaker 2: like we're always changing, Yeah, like drinking sometimes or like
- 23:53Speaker 2: unhealthy habits, or you're not going to the gym or
- 23:55Speaker 2: I don't know, you're on your period. Like it's just
- 23:58Speaker 2: but it's always like insane, like people's to me, people's
- 24:02Speaker 2: fascination with especially women's bodies, and like I mean, thanks, what,
- 24:09Speaker 2: but like so shut the fuck up. Have you like
- 24:13Speaker 2: major peace with that?
- 24:14Speaker 3: Like how like being the subject of sort of this
- 24:17Speaker 3: endless online fascination.
- 24:19Speaker 2: I've made my peace with it. I've also like I
- 24:21Speaker 2: also just accept that, you know, my body, like my
- 24:25Speaker 2: body reflects what whatever is going on with me, and
- 24:30Speaker 2: so I understand that sometimes it's going to change. And
- 24:34Speaker 2: and it's also like carried me through everything that I've
- 24:37Speaker 2: been through, and I'm like healthy and alive because of it.
- 24:42Speaker 2: So I also, you know, like if people can make
- 24:46Speaker 2: comments about it, I.
- 24:47Speaker 1: Don't care, Like yeah, I mean, I mean just in
- 24:50Speaker 1: like being even like say we just take this podcast
- 24:54Speaker 1: like there I will see comments as like oh my god,
- 24:57Speaker 1: look at all her plastic surgery. And I'm like, first
- 24:59Speaker 1: of all, I was hung over that day, you know
- 25:01Speaker 1: what I mean, Like, like my face can be literally
- 25:05Speaker 1: like twice the size that it is. Some days I
- 25:08Speaker 1: have cheekbones, some days I don't.
- 25:09Speaker 2: My face was the first place it shows I.
- 25:11Speaker 1: Mean, it's like, are you I'm a woman, I have
- 25:14Speaker 1: completely different every single day. Like it's the lighting, it's
- 25:18Speaker 1: what you like when you eat, Like I mean, for
- 25:22Speaker 1: two episodes, I looked orange and I'm like, why am
- 25:24Speaker 1: I so orange?
- 25:25Speaker 2: And then we realized that.
- 25:28Speaker 1: Coming down literally the curtains that are orange and are
- 25:32Speaker 1: refracting off of me or I'm refracting off. But it's
- 25:36Speaker 1: so ridiculous that you don't understand that people look like
- 25:40Speaker 1: I mean, when I was on when I had a
- 25:41Speaker 1: talk show, it was every single day and I could
- 25:43Speaker 1: look vastly different day to day, you know what I mean.
- 25:47Speaker 1: I don't think people quite understand that all of the
- 25:50Speaker 1: stuff is not reflective also of how you look in
- 25:53Speaker 1: real life, like all of the camera stuff adds stuff.
- 25:56Speaker 2: And also the camera like the way it magnified like
- 26:00Speaker 2: any and everything it possibly can. And that's how like
- 26:04Speaker 2: when we were shooting seven years of Outer Banks and
- 26:09Speaker 2: been through so much, but like from season to season,
- 26:11Speaker 2: I look so different and it's reflective of like what
- 26:14Speaker 2: I was going through and like and that's okay, but
- 26:17Speaker 2: people would make comments about it, and at first it
- 26:19Speaker 2: bummed me out, but I'm like, yeah, you know, but
- 26:23Speaker 2: also they're making us like we were. We would have
- 26:26Speaker 2: to wear like crazy like faked tans, and then they
- 26:29Speaker 2: you know, lots of like makeup and silicon belly and
- 26:33Speaker 2: also like I wasn't an automatic to wear mascara, and
- 26:37Speaker 2: there was no there was nothing. They didn't want anything
- 26:41Speaker 2: to make us look like no concealer. They didn't want
- 26:45Speaker 2: any any like pretty makeup because why they wanted us
- 26:49Speaker 2: to look supernatural and sweaty and dirty and so like.
- 26:53Speaker 2: So automatically it's like, well they're they're not setting us
- 26:57Speaker 2: up for success for people to make nice comments about them.
- 27:02Speaker 2: We were already at a disadvantage.
- 27:03Speaker 3: I have always wondered this when you're out in the
- 27:06Speaker 3: sun all day and you're on set, like what is
- 27:08Speaker 3: the sunblock situation? Are there people slathering you? Like how
- 27:11Speaker 3: is that working?
- 27:12Speaker 2: I mean there's spray obviously, like the spray sunscreen was
- 27:18Speaker 2: king because and then we would put like a foundation on,
- 27:23Speaker 2: but it was so hot we would just sweat it off. Yeah,
- 27:27Speaker 2: so just re spraying. But also the bug situation was
- 27:30Speaker 2: so bad. So when we were laying our splearing ourselves
- 27:33Speaker 2: with spray sunscreen and deep and we all its sound
- 27:38Speaker 2: so bad.
- 27:39Speaker 1: I know that deep stuff smells so bad. It's like
- 27:42Speaker 1: I think I would rather be fried by the sun. Well,
- 27:44Speaker 1: I don't know the bugs. I'm trying to think which
- 27:46Speaker 1: which element is more annoying because the bugs are so annoying.
- 27:50Speaker 2: There's so bad.
- 27:51Speaker 1: Yeah, but then the sun can kill you. The bugs
- 27:54Speaker 1: can't really kill you. I mean they could carry I
- 27:58Speaker 1: don't know.
- 27:58Speaker 2: The bugs in South Carolina are kind kind of like
- 28:00Speaker 2: you're kind of meddle as fuck.
- 28:07Speaker 1: I was like, is that a phrase? I don't know about?
- 28:10Speaker 1: Middle So, you've dated a lot of people. You've dated
- 28:13Speaker 1: a DJ, you've dated an actor, you've dated a musician,
- 28:16Speaker 1: if you dated a comedian, sure, yeah, So is there
- 28:19Speaker 1: anyone that you would never date again, any type of
- 28:21Speaker 1: career that you would never date again? Or is there
- 28:22Speaker 1: a career choice out there of somebody you wouldn't date, Like,
- 28:27Speaker 1: would you date a finance guy?
- 28:28Speaker 2: I don't know.
- 28:29Speaker 1: I don't think I would.
- 28:30Speaker 2: I don't. I don't think I could.
- 28:32Speaker 1: Unless they were bringing like huge amounts of cash.
- 28:35Speaker 2: Well yeah, okay, actually maybe yeah maybe. So I wouldn't
- 28:40Speaker 2: say like never again to any of them. But I
- 28:42Speaker 2: do think, you know, after a while, I was like
- 28:44Speaker 2: maybe like maybe this industry is a little gnarly for dating. Sure,
- 28:51Speaker 2: like maybe I should look elsewhere, so I you know,
- 28:56Speaker 2: maybe that lends itself to a finance guy, but or.
- 29:00Speaker 1: Just somebody that's not in the business. The reason why
- 29:03Speaker 1: we everyone in the business dates other people in the
- 29:05Speaker 1: business is obviously because of proximity. Like those are the
- 29:07Speaker 1: people you meet, and those are the people you're around
- 29:09Speaker 1: the most. That's why I feel like it's so important
- 29:11Speaker 1: to have a real life, you know, like outside of work,
- 29:13Speaker 1: so that you can meet real people and normal people.
- 29:16Speaker 1: But then it's really hard for those normal people to
- 29:18Speaker 1: kind of assimilate to the lifestyle because the lifestyle is
- 29:22Speaker 1: not like movable or manageable. It's like refra shoot dates
- 29:26Speaker 1: like those are non negotiable. You don't know how long
- 29:28Speaker 1: you're going to work each day, and there's no room.
- 29:30Speaker 2: For like that's the thing. It is, Like I have
- 29:33Speaker 2: also dated people who weren't in the industry in an
- 29:36Speaker 2: effort to fix that problem. But that was the problem,
- 29:40Speaker 2: or fix the problem of dating. And then yeah, and
- 29:44Speaker 2: then and then I got annoyed because I felt like
- 29:47Speaker 2: I was having to explain everything. I'm like, this is
- 29:55Speaker 2: just my job and also this is my life.
- 29:59Speaker 1: Yeah, I had a similar situation where I recorded a podcast.
- 30:04Speaker 1: This is a guy I dated a couple of years ago.
- 30:06Speaker 1: I recorded a podcast. It was before I had met him,
- 30:08Speaker 1: and I was just talking about how great it is
- 30:10Speaker 1: to be single. And they held the podcast for a
- 30:12Speaker 1: couple of months, and then the podcast came out after
- 30:15Speaker 1: he and I had gone public, and he couldn't wrap
- 30:19Speaker 1: his head around the fact that I had recorded a
- 30:21Speaker 1: podcast it was old, and he's like, why would you
- 30:24Speaker 1: talk about the guys? And I was like, because that's
- 30:26Speaker 1: what I was doing before I met you. And he
- 30:29Speaker 1: couldn't wrap his head around the fact that the podcast
- 30:31Speaker 1: had been recorded months ago and they just released it
- 30:34Speaker 1: like he thought it was live.
- 30:35Speaker 2: So that also happened to me one time where I
- 30:38Speaker 2: like made comments before like you know, we had you know,
- 30:44Speaker 2: become official official, and then in the timing of the
- 30:47Speaker 2: release of those comments was really bad, like really gnarly
- 30:52Speaker 2: for him. But I like, I explained, I explained everything,
- 30:56Speaker 2: but you know, just it still felt like he was
- 31:01Speaker 2: still just not happy, and I'm like, I don't I'm sorry.
- 31:04Speaker 1: Are you someone that looks too like do you think
- 31:06Speaker 1: about yourself in the future. Do you think about being married,
- 31:08Speaker 1: Do you think about having children? Is that something you
- 31:10Speaker 1: care about?
- 31:11Speaker 2: I do. I think it's you know, I think they're
- 31:13Speaker 2: all fun things to think about. But the idea of
- 31:19Speaker 2: childbirth really terrifies me. Really, Yeah, because I was only like,
- 31:24Speaker 2: only last year did I learn like really gnarly details
- 31:28Speaker 2: about childbirth.
- 31:30Speaker 1: Yeah, childbirth seems like something that the less you know
- 31:34Speaker 1: about it going in better.
- 31:36Speaker 2: Well, there's a girl on TikTok who has a list.
- 31:39Speaker 2: So when women go on to TikTok and tell their
- 31:42Speaker 2: birthing stories and she gets really specific, it cuts to
- 31:46Speaker 2: this girl writing down a list and there's like three
- 31:48Speaker 2: hundred reasons she has so far of why not she
- 31:51Speaker 2: does not want to have a baby. So I like
- 31:54Speaker 2: to think about all these things. But, like we were
- 31:56Speaker 2: saying earlier, I mean, I'm just like marriage, sure, but
- 31:59Speaker 2: just give me the right.
- 32:00Speaker 1: Yeah you said that now twice that you want the
- 32:02Speaker 1: ring so hopefully because it's sparkly. Yeah, I get it,
- 32:06Speaker 1: I get it. I understand people want rings and jewelry.
- 32:08Speaker 1: Girls like jewelry, love jewelry. Do you still I heard
- 32:15Speaker 1: something when I was doing my research on you that
- 32:18Speaker 1: you felt like you had imposter syndrome in this business,
- 32:21Speaker 1: which I hear all the time from everyone, which I've
- 32:24Speaker 1: also felt. Do you feel that way still?
- 32:27Speaker 2: I do. I feel like I'm getting a lot more
- 32:30Speaker 2: comfortable in my skin, but I do still feel like.
- 32:34Speaker 2: I just went and shot a movie with jud Appatite,
- 32:39Speaker 2: and it was it was the best time I have
- 32:42Speaker 2: truly ever had.
- 32:43Speaker 1: Shooting, and that's nice.
- 32:46Speaker 2: It was really fun. But it's the first time I've
- 32:48Speaker 2: legitimately done comedy, and I've always wanted to, but I
- 32:54Speaker 2: was just once it was once we were in prep
- 32:57Speaker 2: and once you know, we were getting scripts, I it's like,
- 33:00Speaker 2: oh my god, I don't know. I don't I don't know.
- 33:03Speaker 2: Maybe I'm not funny, Like just like I don't, I
- 33:07Speaker 2: don't think I'm maybe are they sure they've got the
- 33:10Speaker 2: right girl? And then you know, also I was playing
- 33:13Speaker 2: a singer and then so there with that also came
- 33:17Speaker 2: a lot of movement and vocal training, which was very cool.
- 33:22Speaker 2: But I was so afraid that on the day I
- 33:24Speaker 2: was going to walk on and just like be a fraud. Right,
- 33:29Speaker 2: So yes, I still get it badly. But then but
- 33:32Speaker 2: then like once, once we started getting into our flow
- 33:35Speaker 2: state then it went away.
- 33:36Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean the singing part is scary too.
- 33:39Speaker 1: I have to see it because are you a natural singer?
- 33:41Speaker 2: You know? Eric petrou Had did some like miracle work
- 33:46Speaker 2: ye on me.
- 33:47Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you can get almost anybody to be
- 33:49Speaker 1: able to like at least hold a tune, which is
- 33:53Speaker 1: what I carry. So I can't even refer.
- 33:56Speaker 2: I think I feel like I've said that too, hold
- 34:00Speaker 2: a tune. Are we both wrong?
- 34:02Speaker 1: I think, But I mean it's the same idea. Yeah,
- 34:05Speaker 1: it doesn't really matter semantics.
- 34:08Speaker 3: Is there anything that you're like, you know, talking about
- 34:11Speaker 3: trying comedy for the first time. Is there anything that
- 34:13Speaker 3: you are you want to do in the future but
- 34:16Speaker 3: you are scared to do.
- 34:19Speaker 2: I think I think comedy was really scared of because
- 34:22Speaker 2: it's hard. It's not like, yeah, you can't just make
- 34:25Speaker 2: something funny like you. It either is or it isn't.
- 34:29Speaker 2: And it's also I think in like a comedy movie,
- 34:33Speaker 2: like all four wheels have to be hitting the ground,
- 34:35Speaker 2: everyone has to be like kind of throwing their fastball.
- 34:39Speaker 2: And so that was really scary. But I would love
- 34:42Speaker 2: to do more. We had the best time. I would
- 34:46Speaker 2: love to do action. We do a lot of action
- 34:49Speaker 2: on outer banks. I think that's fun.
- 34:50Speaker 1: And how do you like about that?
- 34:53Speaker 2: Because it kind of makes me feel a little badass.
- 34:56Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean.
- 34:58Speaker 2: So I think it'd be really fun to do more.
- 35:00Speaker 2: And I think comedy is also really closely related to horror,
- 35:06Speaker 2: and like camp camp horror, which I think is really sick.
- 35:09Speaker 1: Yeah, what did you grow up watching?
- 35:11Speaker 2: I grew so Actually I wasn't allowed to watch horror
- 35:15Speaker 2: growing up. But the very first horror movie I did see,
- 35:17Speaker 2: which is actually a comedy, were the scary movies?
- 35:21Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, those are hard to miss. Yeah, there's another
- 35:25Speaker 1: one that just came out.
- 35:26Speaker 2: Yes, and then and then I think, like, oh, and
- 35:30Speaker 2: then the first real horror movie I watched I think
- 35:33Speaker 2: was Insidious too.
- 35:37Speaker 1: I don't know if I saw that.
- 35:38Speaker 4: I'm not.
- 35:40Speaker 1: I'm not into horror as much.
- 35:42Speaker 2: Yeah, have you done any horror? I did? I know
- 35:44Speaker 2: what you did last summer that was like slasher?
- 35:47Speaker 1: What's the difference between slasher and horror?
- 35:49Speaker 2: Like slasher slasher horrorse like like there's this there's a
- 35:55Speaker 2: deranged serial killer on the loose who's gonna get you,
- 35:58Speaker 2: And it's probably like your ex boyfriend's uncle for some reason,
- 36:03Speaker 2: and he was like.
- 36:04Speaker 1: You know, it's very heightened, even more than horror, Like yeah,
- 36:07Speaker 1: like right, like horror is gonna like really scary you,
- 36:10Speaker 1: whereas like Slasher is like a rump with scary themes.
- 36:13Speaker 2: Yes, and that's that's what we did, which was really fun.
- 36:17Speaker 2: I enjoyed that very much. My favorite thing too, it
- 36:20Speaker 2: is like when you're when we were making a horror
- 36:24Speaker 2: movie and like something in the take would go wrong
- 36:26Speaker 2: or the timing would go off, it would immediately turn
- 36:29Speaker 2: it into Scooby Doo and like really funny, like where
- 36:32Speaker 2: you know you're running. They're running down the hallways and
- 36:34Speaker 2: they miss each other and it's it was really funny
- 36:37Speaker 2: because I'm like, oh wait, this could so easily become hilarious.
- 36:40Speaker 2: It just which I guess is what they like do
- 36:43Speaker 2: in a scary movie.
- 36:44Speaker 1: But what about lying? Are you good at lying?
- 36:46Speaker 2: What a terrible liar? You are a terrible liar.
- 36:49Speaker 1: It's an actor, You're a bad liar?
- 36:51Speaker 2: Yeah? Is it acting?
- 36:54Speaker 1: Just lying?
- 36:54Speaker 2: But the thing is like when I'm when I'm lying,
- 36:56Speaker 2: I don't believe myself. And when I'm acting, I'm like
- 36:58Speaker 2: I have to have to believe what's coming out of
- 37:01Speaker 2: my mouth, or I just will start over.
- 37:02Speaker 1: How did you discover that you were bad at lying?
- 37:07Speaker 2: I think it was pretty early on. I specifically remember
- 37:11Speaker 2: my mom one time asking me if I had done
- 37:14Speaker 2: my reading for the day, like my twenty minute reading
- 37:17Speaker 2: for school, and she was like, when did you finish?
- 37:21Speaker 2: And I was like this. I was also really young too.
- 37:24Speaker 2: I wasn't this stupid, but I said, at three seventy two.
- 37:33Speaker 1: That is stupid. That's funny. I'm like, i feel like
- 37:38Speaker 1: I was a good liar, but I'm sure I probably wasn't.
- 37:41Speaker 1: I don't like to lie, just because my lies would
- 37:44Speaker 1: turn into these volcanic eruptions, like I wouldn't just tell
- 37:47Speaker 1: a lie, I would like double mouth the lie, and
- 37:50Speaker 1: then they were like three other people involved, and like
- 37:53Speaker 1: the things that people could easily check, and then just
- 37:57Speaker 1: like basically implicate other people, like I would basically implicate
- 38:01Speaker 1: people that weren't involved in it at all. So you're
- 38:03Speaker 1: basically dragging everyone down with you. And my friends would
- 38:06Speaker 1: be like, why didn't you just say like you're not
- 38:08Speaker 1: in the mood, you know, like why do you involve
- 38:11Speaker 1: everyone else? Why are you involving so many people in
- 38:14Speaker 1: your lives, Like why are they so multi levels?
- 38:17Speaker 2: Go to dinner because my best friend's dog died.
- 38:20Speaker 1: And then yeah, I was once trying to get a
- 38:23Speaker 1: rid of a guy. We were in Barcelona and I
- 38:25Speaker 1: was on a date and I was trying to I mean,
- 38:27Speaker 1: this guy flew to Barcelona to meet me, right, I
- 38:29Speaker 1: had a bunch of friends there. We were there, and
- 38:32Speaker 1: then as soon as I saw him, I was like,
- 38:33Speaker 1: oh no, no, this is not going to happen. And
- 38:36Speaker 1: then I made up a friend. I made up a
- 38:38Speaker 1: fake character, I made up a wedding, I made up
- 38:42Speaker 1: I It was right after that Vicki Christina Barcelona movie
- 38:45Speaker 1: came out, so I kept calling her Vicki Christina my cousin,
- 38:49Speaker 1: and I was like, she's getting married in Barcelona and
- 38:51Speaker 1: we actually have to go buy her some wedding shoes
- 38:54Speaker 1: right now?
- 38:55Speaker 2: Is crazy.
- 38:56Speaker 1: And my friend was watching me and was like you
- 38:58Speaker 1: were And we ended up running into them at the
- 39:01Speaker 1: hotel when we were supposed to be at the wedding.
- 39:03Speaker 1: This guy came out and flew out with his friend.
- 39:05Speaker 1: We thought when we said it was a wrap and
- 39:07Speaker 1: I was going to the wedding, that he would go
- 39:09Speaker 1: back to London where he came from. But he came
- 39:11Speaker 1: back and stayed there and we got caught red handed.
- 39:15Speaker 1: And as I saw him, I just I was like,
- 39:18Speaker 1: don't no matter what. And they're like, Chelsea, shut up,
- 39:21Speaker 1: like you are caught red handed because saying no matter what,
- 39:25Speaker 1: we are still going to the wedding. Just keep this story. Yeah,
- 39:32Speaker 1: so I can't. So I don't lie just because I mean,
- 39:36Speaker 1: because you're I do sometimes, but I do. I when
- 39:39Speaker 1: I when I think about lying, I'm just like, just
- 39:41Speaker 1: it's just so much easier to tell the truth totally.
- 39:43Speaker 1: Don't implicate other people and just say the truth.
- 39:47Speaker 2: I know. But that's the thing is, like I I
- 39:49Speaker 2: also do the I I just tell the truth. I
- 39:51Speaker 2: am such a confessionalist that sometimes I give people too
- 39:53Speaker 2: much information and then it actually does throw people under
- 39:57Speaker 2: the book.
- 39:57Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm with you. That's what I do out of
- 40:00Speaker 1: doing that or or stunt in my careerd cbd.
- 40:07Speaker 3: I actually have a listener question that's all about how
- 40:10Speaker 3: to lose a guy.
- 40:10Speaker 2: So maybe we just transition. Oh okay, you ready for
- 40:13Speaker 2: some advice question?
- 40:14Speaker 1: Yeah, let's do it.
- 40:15Speaker 3: Okay, Well, this one's just an email, but Meg says
- 40:19Speaker 3: dear Chelsea. I'm a thirty two year old female. I
- 40:22Speaker 3: recently escaped a five year relationship, and I find myself
- 40:25Speaker 3: getting into pickles with men I'm not interested in.
- 40:27Speaker 1: Pickles? Is an interesting This.
- 40:29Speaker 3: Is interesting specifically men I'm acquaintances with and see on
- 40:32Speaker 3: a regular basis work neighbors. When they ask to spend
- 40:35Speaker 3: time with me, I regrettably agree on the spot because
- 40:38Speaker 3: I'm not sure how to reject them politely. I then
- 40:41Speaker 3: struggle to either reject them later or I avoid them.
- 40:44Speaker 1: Like the plague.
- 40:45Speaker 3: You know, I don't owe them anything, but the fact
- 40:46Speaker 3: that there are people that I will continue to see
- 40:48Speaker 3: on a regular basis and the desire not to make
- 40:50Speaker 3: anyone feel bad it makes it hard to say no.
- 40:53Speaker 3: I need a blueprint on how to handle these situations
- 40:55Speaker 3: on the spot, because they usually happen when I'm not
- 40:57Speaker 3: expecting it and when I've got my friendly coworker or
- 41:00Speaker 3: neighbor mask on.
- 41:01Speaker 1: Thanks Meg, Wow, So these are people that she's gonna
- 41:04Speaker 1: see again.
- 41:05Speaker 3: I want to hang out like a coworker, it's a neighbor,
- 41:08Speaker 3: it's a somebody you see regularly.
- 41:11Speaker 1: Oh. Because I have a good answer for people, you'll
- 41:13Speaker 1: never see again. You can just you're having a terrible outbreak.
- 41:18Speaker 1: That usually ends the conversation right away. But I think
- 41:22Speaker 1: what's a good way to shut someone down if you're
- 41:24Speaker 1: not interested in a nice way? Because I do think
- 41:26Speaker 1: it's important to not leave people hanging and holding off
- 41:29Speaker 1: for hope. So I mean, and if you're saying you
- 41:32Speaker 1: have a you can't lie and say you already have
- 41:34Speaker 1: a boyfriend or a girlfriend. They're gonna if you're gonna
- 41:36Speaker 1: if these are recurring characters. But you can say I
- 41:39Speaker 1: just actually started seeing someone, and then that could fall apart.
- 41:42Speaker 1: It's new, Yeah, it's new, And then that way it
- 41:45Speaker 1: doesn't have to come to fruition, right good. I mean,
- 41:48Speaker 1: I think that's a decent way. Another thing you can
- 41:51Speaker 1: do is just say I'm so sorry, but I'm totally
- 41:54Speaker 1: not even looking at you in that way or feeling
- 41:57Speaker 1: anything in that way, so I don't even want to
- 42:00Speaker 1: I mean, I know that's a little it sounds hard
- 42:02Speaker 1: to say, but there's a succinct way to say that,
- 42:04Speaker 1: to say, like, I really want to keep it perfect.
- 42:06Speaker 1: Especially if you work with them, you can always use
- 42:08Speaker 1: that as an excuse to be like, I really don't
- 42:10Speaker 1: want to mix work with pleasure. I've had a bad
- 42:13Speaker 1: experience in the past totally, or you could say I yeah,
- 42:17Speaker 1: you could say that, and then the only problem with
- 42:21Speaker 1: that is if you start dating a different co work,
- 42:24Speaker 1: but at that who gives a ship? But I'm a
- 42:27Speaker 1: fan of telling people letting people down at night, like
- 42:30Speaker 1: like I'm just saying being because so many people ghost,
- 42:34Speaker 1: so many people, yes, and I think that's kind of
- 42:37Speaker 1: really fucked up. It fucks with people's psyches, right, Like
- 42:39Speaker 1: you have to just be really direct and say I'm
- 42:41Speaker 1: not feeling.
- 42:42Speaker 2: It or I'm not seeing it.
- 42:43Speaker 1: I don't want to see anybody, right, I'm in something
- 42:45Speaker 1: slightly and I want to see where this goes, you know,
- 42:47Speaker 1: like that's a nicer, softer land like that. What do
- 42:50Speaker 1: you tell somebody when you're not interested?
- 42:53Speaker 2: See, here's the problem? Like, sometimes I let it go
- 42:56Speaker 2: too far?
- 42:57Speaker 1: Did I used to do that too?
- 42:58Speaker 4: Yeah?
- 42:58Speaker 1: I think every woman doesn't because.
- 43:00Speaker 2: I don't want. I hate letting, like I hate hurting
- 43:03Speaker 2: people's feelings. And then I'm like, what was I thinking?
- 43:07Speaker 2: But whatever? And so then I usually call and I'm
- 43:12Speaker 2: like and I just tell them I just but sometimes.
- 43:16Speaker 1: Say what what do you say?
- 43:17Speaker 2: Sometimes they ask like why right, and then I'm a
- 43:21Speaker 2: confessionalist and I'll tell them, but then that ends up hurting.
- 43:26Speaker 1: Their feelings, like what what what have you said to
- 43:28Speaker 1: someone who's whose feelings have been hurt in that in
- 43:31Speaker 1: that kind of situation.
- 43:32Speaker 2: You eat all my food and you didn't pay for anything.
- 43:36Speaker 1: You like, I want my ring like that, I'm out
- 43:38Speaker 1: here looking for a ring everybody.
- 43:40Speaker 2: I just don't think it's gonna work out. Yeah, And
- 43:45Speaker 2: I think we should not speak anymore.
- 43:48Speaker 1: I love that men don't think that they have to
- 43:49Speaker 1: pay for things, Like what's that about? I think they're confusing.
- 43:53Speaker 1: They're confusing like chivalry with misogyny almost like.
- 43:57Speaker 2: You know what I mean, I don't have to make
- 43:59Speaker 2: an effort.
- 43:59Speaker 1: Like everyone's getting everything confused. It's like, well, why do
- 44:02Speaker 1: we have to pay for things? You guys want to
- 44:03Speaker 1: be treated equally. It's like, that's not the reason, that's
- 44:06Speaker 1: not that doesn't have anything.
- 44:07Speaker 2: To do like that, you didn't say anything. I'm like,
- 44:09Speaker 2: I'm I'm literally use your brain.
- 44:12Speaker 1: Yeah, just like and also it's like a polite thing
- 44:14Speaker 1: to do if I were to take a woman out
- 44:16Speaker 1: to dinner or ask a woman to dinner if I
- 44:19Speaker 1: would pay, like just if it's a friend situation, it's
- 44:22Speaker 1: like whoever asks you pay, And dating historically and traditionally
- 44:27Speaker 1: is just like a nice way for a man to be,
- 44:29Speaker 1: like I'm going to take you out for on a day, show.
- 44:31Speaker 2: Them a nice time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally, Yeah it's nice. Meg. Yeah,
- 44:36Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Meg.
- 44:37Speaker 1: Yeah, we have live callers. Are you ready for that?
- 44:44Speaker 2: So exciting? Yeah?
- 44:44Speaker 1: I hope you've been to therapy so you can give
- 44:46Speaker 1: some because that's what we do here.
- 44:48Speaker 2: Yes, all right.
- 44:50Speaker 3: Lennee has a very tricky question, so she says, dear Chelsea,
- 44:55Speaker 3: please help me know what to say so I don't
- 44:57Speaker 3: feel like a ball busting asshole to my husband. I'm
- 45:00Speaker 3: married to a wonderful, thoughtful, and caring man who only
- 45:02Speaker 3: wants me to feel fulfilled and happy. I know some
- 45:05Speaker 3: men would think I'm impossible to live with, but this
- 45:07Speaker 3: man has never said a negative word about my hatred
- 45:10Speaker 3: for football and video games.
- 45:12Speaker 2: I know that.
- 45:14Speaker 3: I know that he participates much less in both of
- 45:16Speaker 3: these interests because of a clear boundary I set when
- 45:18Speaker 3: we were dating. Lately, even our choice of what we
- 45:21Speaker 3: watch on television together isn't vibing I'm interested in documentaries,
- 45:25Speaker 3: and my husband finds these to be mostly depressing. He
- 45:27Speaker 3: prefers something lighthearted, but I cannot watch another rerun.
- 45:30Speaker 2: Of Friends or the Office.
- 45:32Speaker 3: My husband thinks he's found the solution for us, but
- 45:34Speaker 3: I don't have the heart to tell him that this
- 45:35Speaker 3: solution is triggering to me. He thinks I love watching
- 45:39Speaker 3: food eating challenges with him on YouTube. Beard meets Food
- 45:42Speaker 3: seems to be his favorite. He'll wait for me so
- 45:45Speaker 3: we can watch new episodes together, and he.
- 45:46Speaker 2: Travel a lot for work.
- 45:49Speaker 3: He sees it as our new show and gets excited
- 45:51Speaker 3: to watch it together. The thing is, I have struggled
- 45:54Speaker 3: with bolimia since I was twelve. He knows this, but
- 45:56Speaker 3: we haven't discussed it in years. I'm now forty, and
- 45:59Speaker 3: it's been getting harder harder not to binge and purge
- 46:01Speaker 3: when my husband isn't around.
- 46:03Speaker 2: This show triggers me. Oh my god.
- 46:05Speaker 3: When I'm watching, I'll be dreaming of the moment I
- 46:07Speaker 3: get to be alone again to binge and purge, and
- 46:09Speaker 3: I hate that feeling. I feel like if I tell
- 46:12Speaker 3: my husband, it will be yet another thing that I
- 46:14Speaker 3: hate and he enjoys. How do I have this conversation
- 46:17Speaker 3: without him feeling like I'm micromanaging his interests. Am I
- 46:20Speaker 3: just doomed to sit through sitcomer runs for hopefully the
- 46:22Speaker 3: next forty years with the love of my life, Lenae.
- 46:25Speaker 1: Hi Line, Hi, Hi, Hi. This is our special guest,
- 46:30Speaker 1: Madeline Klein.
- 46:31Speaker 2: Hi. Nice to meet you.
- 46:32Speaker 1: Hello.
- 46:34Speaker 2: Maybe you guys can watch Outer Banks?
- 46:36Speaker 1: Yeah, watching Outer Banks together?
- 46:39Speaker 2: We haven't.
- 46:40Speaker 1: I haven't tried that show.
- 46:42Speaker 2: It's a fun it's a fun romp.
- 46:45Speaker 1: I think that you have to be really honest with
- 46:48Speaker 1: your husband because now you're in a precarious situation with
- 46:52Speaker 1: a history of an eating disorder that is triggering. Like
- 46:56Speaker 1: that is completely valid information. And listen, here's the thing.
- 47:01Speaker 1: You guys don't have to watch TV together. You just
- 47:04Speaker 1: don't like. It's not like a fundamental necessity. It's great
- 47:10Speaker 1: if you can find something or a series that you
- 47:13Speaker 1: guys are gonna like together, but it's not absolutely necessary.
- 47:17Speaker 1: You can do other things together. Why don't you go
- 47:19Speaker 1: for a walk? Like I know that sounds like the blah,
- 47:22Speaker 1: but actually lots of people do that and it's a
- 47:24Speaker 1: way to connect without any distraction. Because I don't really
- 47:27Speaker 1: feel like necessarily watching TV with people is the biggest connection.
- 47:32Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 47:32Speaker 1: Yeah, it's kind of like a lazy connection. That's true.
- 47:35Speaker 5: We've been talking a lot. We own a lot of
- 47:37Speaker 5: book I have quite a book collection. We've been to
- 47:40Speaker 5: about needing to read more together. Yeah, but when we've tried,
- 47:43Speaker 5: it's just the dead silence in the house and so
- 47:45Speaker 5: we're talking about all music in the background while we read.
- 47:48Speaker 5: We just haven't quite found the groove of that yet.
- 47:50Speaker 1: You know, Okay, with reading, I can help you with this.
- 47:53Speaker 1: With reading, you have to set the tone. You have
- 47:55Speaker 1: to get into the groove, and you have to force yourself.
- 47:58Speaker 1: You can put on some jazz, put on some class
- 48:00Speaker 1: so it's not distracting. Obviously, you know you're not gonna
- 48:03Speaker 1: be listening to hip hop and reading. So like, just
- 48:05Speaker 1: put on some background music and literally sit there with
- 48:09Speaker 1: your partner. You don't even have to read the same book. No,
- 48:12Speaker 1: you can just both read fifty pages of a book
- 48:15Speaker 1: and sit down and discuss it after. Or you can
- 48:18Speaker 1: read fifty pages. I mean you can read fifty pages
- 48:20Speaker 1: of the same book. Or you can read and you
- 48:22Speaker 1: can start small, start with twenty five pages. Anyone could
- 48:25Speaker 1: read twenty five pages of a book and just set
- 48:28Speaker 1: a new pattern, like of something that you guys can
- 48:30Speaker 1: do together. And you know, if you're not really agreeing
- 48:34Speaker 1: on shows to watch, I don't know that you're going
- 48:36Speaker 1: to be having the same interest in books necessarily. So
- 48:39Speaker 1: I think you can be open to like reading two
- 48:41Speaker 1: different things and then just talking about it, like telling
- 48:45Speaker 1: each other the story about it. It's just more of
- 48:47Speaker 1: a connectivity. I find watching TV with a partner to
- 48:51Speaker 1: be pretty lazy, quite frankly. I mean, no judgment, but
- 48:54Speaker 1: you know, when I do it, I'm always like, what
- 48:55Speaker 1: are we doing this for? Shouldn't we be like fucking
- 48:58Speaker 1: or doing something more. I definitely agree, you know, and
- 49:02Speaker 1: maybe there's some other things you guys can start doing together,
- 49:04Speaker 1: like going out at night and go into the movies
- 49:07Speaker 1: or going bowling or stupid shit, you know what I mean.
- 49:10Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 49:11Speaker 1: He travels so much for work.
- 49:13Speaker 5: I feel like it's something he looks forward to, like
- 49:15Speaker 5: actually being at home and decompressing and enjoying that. And
- 49:19Speaker 5: my biggest hesitation because I can tell him anything.
- 49:22Speaker 1: I just he's a.
- 49:23Speaker 5: Huge overcorrector, so I feel anytime I'll give him feedback,
- 49:28Speaker 5: you know, help cooking more dinners. The next thing is
- 49:31Speaker 5: a homemade from scratch lasagna, revel taco night or something.
- 49:35Speaker 5: So I don't ever want him to feel like a
- 49:39Speaker 5: huge overcrrection is needed.
- 49:41Speaker 2: But just you should tell him that, honestly, because like that, right,
- 49:45Speaker 2: like that is so sweet, and that the fact that
- 49:48Speaker 2: he's that he's actually like he's listening to you and
- 49:51Speaker 2: he's hearing what you're saying, and just tell him, like,
- 49:54Speaker 2: I don't want you to overcorrect, but this habit or
- 49:57Speaker 2: this this activity is maybe on a group activity for
- 50:02Speaker 2: me to be included in, and like don't make him
- 50:05Speaker 2: feel like his interest is like invalid or lame. But
- 50:10Speaker 2: I think if he will, if he does over correct,
- 50:13Speaker 2: then maybe there's the potential that he can just correct
- 50:16Speaker 2: course correct to a different activity together.
- 50:19Speaker 1: Yeah, play games like play Rummy cue.
- 50:21Speaker 3: There's always so Yeah, puzzles are just boring though like a.
- 50:28Speaker 1: Game at least there's like conversation going a little bit
- 50:32Speaker 1: more than a puzzle. And I just think, like I
- 50:35Speaker 1: understand if he's tired, and I feel that way when
- 50:37Speaker 1: I come back from the road, like I'm tired. I
- 50:39Speaker 1: just want to like get in bed and not think
- 50:40Speaker 1: I get it. I totally get it. So give a
- 50:43Speaker 1: couple of options and be malleable, which I'm sure you
- 50:45Speaker 1: already are. But the most important thing is you don't
- 50:49Speaker 1: have to care for his feelings into the degree that
- 50:51Speaker 1: you're talking about when you're talking about and eating disorder,
- 50:54Speaker 1: like you're the number one priority in that situation. And
- 50:58Speaker 1: he would say the same thing, yeah, yeah, So like,
- 51:00Speaker 1: don't apologize for his overcorrection. If he's gonna overcorrect, you
- 51:05Speaker 1: can tell him, like Madeline said, like you can tell
- 51:08Speaker 1: him you don't have to overcrack. But also like you
- 51:11Speaker 1: need to be very honest about your truth. You are
- 51:14Speaker 1: the number one priority in this situation.
- 51:16Speaker 3: Yeah, And a great thing to tell him is like
- 51:18Speaker 3: you can go ahead and watch the show. This is
- 51:20Speaker 3: your show to watch in the hotel when you're traveling
- 51:22Speaker 3: for work, Like this is a new show, I just
- 51:24Speaker 3: I just.
- 51:25Speaker 2: Can't watch it.
- 51:26Speaker 3: To get a little more book nerdy about setting the stage.
- 51:28Speaker 2: For when you're reading together.
- 51:30Speaker 3: Sure, I like putting on music, but this is like
- 51:32Speaker 3: very nerdy. You can go on YouTube and find background
- 51:37Speaker 3: that you put on the TV.
- 51:39Speaker 2: It's kind of fun.
- 51:40Speaker 3: Like if I'm reading a spooky book, I'll put on
- 51:43Speaker 3: a background that's like stormy night and you're in a
- 51:46Speaker 3: cabin and it's kind of fun.
- 51:48Speaker 1: Well, you were right to warn me about that advice.
- 51:50Speaker 1: Thank you. First of all, if I could figure out
- 51:54Speaker 1: how to fucking do that, my life would be a
- 51:55Speaker 1: lot different. I could set the settings on my TV screen.
- 51:58Speaker 1: I mean, I go to houses. I my god, how
- 52:00Speaker 1: did you do that? But also, yeah, find some stuff
- 52:03Speaker 1: to do. That's like, you know, there's so much you
- 52:05Speaker 1: can do, like learn how to play cribbage together, learn
- 52:08Speaker 1: how to play gin ye, play gin together, play a
- 52:11Speaker 1: card game. There's other ways to connect and relax that
- 52:14Speaker 1: don't require like leaving the house. You know, if he
- 52:16Speaker 1: really wants to chill out.
- 52:18Speaker 5: I had a small conversation about wanting to have more
- 52:21Speaker 5: deep conversations with each other a few months ago, and
- 52:25Speaker 5: he literally went out and bought this card game that's
- 52:27Speaker 5: for connecting and and then I'm the one.
- 52:30Speaker 1: Who kind of stopped.
- 52:32Speaker 5: The questions got real and I kind of shut down
- 52:37Speaker 5: a little, so I know, we should pick that game
- 52:39Speaker 5: back up again. He took the effort to hear me
- 52:42Speaker 5: and move forward with us to connect through that. I just,
- 52:48Speaker 5: you know, one of the first questions of how have
- 52:49Speaker 5: I ever let you down? And it just was so
- 52:52Speaker 5: so deep, so quick.
- 52:55Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I bet there's other card games so that
- 52:59Speaker 2: I feel there definitely are that are like more conversation
- 53:02Speaker 2: starters than like relationship bummers you know what, I'll send you.
- 53:06Speaker 3: I can't remember what they're called, but there are these
- 53:08Speaker 3: like packs of like conversation starters that you can like
- 53:11Speaker 3: use together and they're fun when you have guests over
- 53:13Speaker 3: and super fun.
- 53:15Speaker 1: Yeah, Perka, thank you so much. Yeah, but definitely, like
- 53:19Speaker 1: you know that is you're a number one like focus
- 53:22Speaker 1: on telling the truth you want to know.
- 53:25Speaker 2: Yes, it's not an excuse, that's a reason and it's.
- 53:28Speaker 1: Oh there you go. That's another tagline for your other
- 53:30Speaker 1: brand that we're going to come up with. Yeah, I
- 53:32Speaker 1: have three brand taglines.
- 53:33Speaker 3: Will you check back in with us, Have you guys
- 53:35Speaker 3: have the conversation?
- 53:36Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely absolutely, I'll follow up.
- 53:39Speaker 1: Thank you so much.
- 53:40Speaker 2: All right, thanks Renee.
- 53:42Speaker 1: I've got lots of couples have problems connecting like after
- 53:45Speaker 1: a while, because it's like, what do you talk about
- 53:47Speaker 1: after you've been with somebody for fifteen years? Yeah, you're
- 53:50Speaker 1: of the generation where everyone was named Madeline because I
- 53:53Speaker 1: had a cabbage batch kid name or cabbage Batch kids
- 53:56Speaker 1: were a prelude to a generation of names because everyone name, yes,
- 54:00Speaker 1: everyone who was my age who named like Gretchen, Gracie Taylor,
- 54:05Speaker 1: and then then everyone grew up that was my age
- 54:08Speaker 1: and had babies and then named them those babies. Yeah. Yeah,
- 54:12Speaker 1: but I like the name made little too. It's a
- 54:14Speaker 1: good name.
- 54:14Speaker 2: That's your middle name, Renee. Okay, yeah, I liked Madeline.
- 54:18Speaker 2: I think I think the story like my parents found
- 54:21Speaker 2: out that they were going to have me when they
- 54:23Speaker 2: were visiting there in Paris, and they thought that then
- 54:27Speaker 2: the book, the Madeline Book was really cute. Oh yeah,
- 54:30Speaker 2: the Little Cookies. So they just changed the name.
- 54:34Speaker 1: Do you have siblings?
- 54:35Speaker 2: I'm an only child?
- 54:36Speaker 1: Oh really? Yeah.
- 54:37Speaker 2: They had a hard time having or getting pregnant with me,
- 54:41Speaker 2: so and then I was apparently very happy, quiet baby.
- 54:47Speaker 2: So they were like, maybe we should just quit while
- 54:48Speaker 2: we're ahead. Yeah, but they took me to the doctor
- 54:51Speaker 2: when I was little because I would not speak.
- 54:53Speaker 1: How long did it take you to speak?
- 54:54Speaker 2: Mm? It was pretty quiet up until like maybe when
- 54:59Speaker 2: I was ten, I just are yapping away?
- 55:01Speaker 1: What do you mean ten?
- 55:02Speaker 2: Yeah? I just didn't really speak. Like my mom would
- 55:04Speaker 2: be like how is your day and be like.
- 55:07Speaker 1: At six and five, like when you went to school, speak.
- 55:10Speaker 2: Right, I could speak. I just chose not. I just
- 55:12Speaker 2: didn't want to. Interesting.
- 55:14Speaker 1: I must have been concerning for them.
- 55:15Speaker 2: That's yeah, that's they were like, she's just fine. She
- 55:18Speaker 2: just she doesn't see a reason.
- 55:21Speaker 1: It's an interesting attitude for a little kid.
- 55:23Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so funny, Abstained.
- 55:27Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm the youngest of six kids, so it would
- 55:29Speaker 1: never have occurred to me not to speak, because that
- 55:31Speaker 1: was the only way to get shipped down.
- 55:32Speaker 2: Or to get like I'm sure to be like yeah heard, Yeah.
- 55:35Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck all these other people. Yeah, hell no,
- 55:37Speaker 1: I need some attention. But that if you are an
- 55:41Speaker 1: only child, why why would you, jock? You're like, I
- 55:43Speaker 1: got everything I need right here.
- 55:46Speaker 2: We did lots of puzzles without speaking, did you ye
- 55:50Speaker 2: while ding puzzle? Yeah?
- 55:56Speaker 3: Okay, I really want to get to those collars because
- 55:57Speaker 3: this is a really interesting question. So Hallie is twenty
- 56:01Speaker 3: seven and her subject line is the twenty seven year
- 56:04Speaker 3: old with fifteen year old daughters. Dear Chelsea. When I
- 56:08Speaker 3: was twenty four years old, I accidentally became a mom
- 56:11Speaker 3: to two twelve year old girls. When I say twenty four,
- 56:14Speaker 3: I mean barely twenty four. They celebrated their twelfth birthday
- 56:18Speaker 3: and I celebrated my twenty fourth together. I know, accidentally
- 56:22Speaker 3: adopted two preteens. Sounds like a story that would involve
- 56:25Speaker 3: a cult, drugs, possibly a head injury. But I worked
- 56:28Speaker 3: with foster kids and was started as helping out somehow
- 56:30Speaker 3: turned into motherhood. And before anyone tells me this is normal,
- 56:34Speaker 3: I know people start families young all the time. I
- 56:36Speaker 3: genuinely just never thought it would happen to me. Now
- 56:39Speaker 3: I'm twenty seven and they're fifteen. I envisioned my twenties dating, traveling, partying,
- 56:44Speaker 3: and making regrettable decisions. Instead I spent mine explaining to
- 56:48Speaker 3: two teenage girls why they shouldn't make regrettable decisions. Although
- 56:52Speaker 3: to be fair, I do try to lead by example.
- 56:54Speaker 3: To be clear, I love these girls more than anything,
- 56:56Speaker 3: but I do occasionally feel like I skipped directly from
- 56:59Speaker 3: age twenty four, or to exhausted mother who's fighting for
- 57:01Speaker 3: her life every day, and the time flies when you're
- 57:04Speaker 3: fighting for your life. My biggest fear becoming a grandmother, Chelsea.
- 57:08Speaker 3: I cannot stress this enough. I am not built for grandmotherhood.
- 57:11Speaker 3: I still get carted. I have brought them to school hungover.
- 57:14Speaker 3: Some days, I feel like I'm moving backwards on the
- 57:16Speaker 3: responsibility scale. I can't cook and have no understanding of finances.
- 57:20Speaker 3: There's absolutely nothing about me that says mom, much less grandma.
- 57:23Speaker 3: So now I spend most of my time trying to
- 57:25Speaker 3: raise two independent, responsible, successful young women, while simultaneously begging
- 57:29Speaker 3: them not to do anything that could result in me
- 57:30Speaker 3: raising another child. Here's my question. Am I delusional for
- 57:35Speaker 3: looking at the calendar and thinking, Okay, when these girls graduate,
- 57:38Speaker 3: I can finally have my twenties or is that selfish?
- 57:40Speaker 2: Is there such a.
- 57:41Speaker 3: Thing as a delayed young adult phase? Can I be
- 57:44Speaker 3: grateful for my life and still feel like I missed
- 57:46Speaker 3: a chapter?
- 57:46Speaker 2: Or am I just a mom?
- 57:47Speaker 1: Now?
- 57:49Speaker 3: Honestly, I'm receptive to any advice, criticism, reality checks are
- 57:52Speaker 3: tough love. I'm just desperate for at least one person
- 57:54Speaker 3: not to answer with, well, what did you think was
- 57:56Speaker 3: going to happen?
- 57:57Speaker 2: Because clearly I was not thinking.
- 57:59Speaker 3: Sincerely, Halle, Hi, Halle, Hi, Helle Hi.
- 58:03Speaker 1: This is our special guest, Madeline Client is here today.
- 58:06Speaker 2: Hello.
- 58:07Speaker 1: Hey, First of all, way to go. That is awesome
- 58:11Speaker 1: and generous and loving and such a thing that a
- 58:13Speaker 1: woman would do is adopt to twelve year olds. So
- 58:16Speaker 1: that's awesome that you did that. And you're giving them
- 58:19Speaker 1: a stable home, and you're giving them love, and you're
- 58:22Speaker 1: giving them an education on life. So all of these
- 58:26Speaker 1: things are beautiful. Are you delusional to think that you
- 58:28Speaker 1: can have your own life once they hopefully are they
- 58:31Speaker 1: going to go to college? These girls, that's the hope. Yeah,
- 58:35Speaker 1: they want to. Yeah, okay, great, that's all they need
- 58:37Speaker 1: is to want to do it and then that will
- 58:39Speaker 1: most likely happen. No, you're not delusional. Yes, you're gonna
- 58:43Speaker 1: have your life. This is fucking awesome that you already
- 58:46Speaker 1: have too. Sixteen fifteen or they're fifteen now right, three
- 58:50Speaker 1: years okay, you have two more years of this until
- 58:55Speaker 1: they go to college. Two more years. Dive into them
- 58:58Speaker 1: big time. Make sure they know that you are not
- 59:01Speaker 1: going to be a grandmother. Make sure that they are
- 59:03Speaker 1: educated about birth control. Get them injected with whatever nouva
- 59:07Speaker 1: ring they need to have. I don't know why I
- 59:10Speaker 1: touched my elbow or the inside. I was thinking of
- 59:12Speaker 1: my v because that's how you get a neuva ring
- 59:14Speaker 1: in my mind, you know. But just make sure that
- 59:20Speaker 1: they are you know, they've got it. They don't want
- 59:22Speaker 1: to have a baby. Do they want to have a baby?
- 59:25Speaker 2: No, But I just worry where Okay, but don't worry
- 59:30Speaker 2: about things that haven't happened, do you know what I mean?
- 59:33Speaker 1: That's just like you're almost almost like manifesting it by
- 59:37Speaker 1: worrying about it so much that you should probably flip
- 59:39Speaker 1: it and reverse it and be like, they would never
- 59:41Speaker 1: do such a thing to me. You're not even their
- 59:44Speaker 1: biological mother, Like how could you be expected to raise another,
- 59:48Speaker 1: you know, generation of children. Like that's just like that's
- 59:52Speaker 1: not a default setting in my viewpoint. You would be
- 59:55Speaker 1: there to help, but you're not going to be there
- 59:57Speaker 1: to you know, step in and raise a baby. So
- 1:00:00Speaker 1: obviously have you made that clear to them?
- 1:00:03Speaker 2: I did.
- 1:00:03Speaker 4: I just worried because they create like negative attention.
- 1:00:08Speaker 2: A lot of the time, uh huh, And.
- 1:00:10Speaker 4: So I try to give them space to kind of
- 1:00:12Speaker 4: be who they are, figure out who they are, but
- 1:00:14Speaker 4: also while set in boundaries and it's just a little difficult.
- 1:00:17Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, And do you have someone who helps you, like,
- 1:00:19Speaker 1: do you have like a parenting coach or do you
- 1:00:21Speaker 1: like how do you how do you know how to
- 1:00:24Speaker 1: do this. You're just figuring it out as you go Google. Yeah. Great,
- 1:00:28Speaker 1: Well that's what most parents are doing anyway, So don't
- 1:00:31Speaker 1: worry about that. But the broader question is you're going
- 1:00:34Speaker 1: to have your own life. The fact that you have
- 1:00:36Speaker 1: two kids that are going to college when you're going
- 1:00:38Speaker 1: to be like twenty nine years old, that's when your
- 1:00:40Speaker 1: life is going to begin again.
- 1:00:42Speaker 2: We were just talking about at the beginning of this
- 1:00:45Speaker 2: podcast was how excited I am from my thirties because
- 1:00:49Speaker 2: I feel like they're going to be even more awesome
- 1:00:51Speaker 2: than my twenties. So I feel like.
- 1:00:54Speaker 1: They are and they are awesome. I'm here to tell
- 1:00:56Speaker 1: you it gets better as you age as a woman.
- 1:00:59Speaker 1: It just keeps getting better and better and better. You're
- 1:01:01Speaker 1: more like, look what you've already accomplished.
- 1:01:03Speaker 2: Cool.
- 1:01:04Speaker 1: Most people are gonna be like ten years from where
- 1:01:07Speaker 1: you are, raising seventeen year old children or fifteen year
- 1:01:09Speaker 1: old children, do you know what I mean? Like, you
- 1:01:11Speaker 1: have an advantage because you were so young, so stop
- 1:01:14Speaker 1: looking at it as a disadvantage and look at it
- 1:01:16Speaker 1: as an advantage. You gave these girls a safe place
- 1:01:19Speaker 1: to grow up, so like that is invaluable like beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
- 1:01:24Speaker 1: and yeah, and so like you have like the whole
- 1:01:27Speaker 1: world ahead of you, and of course you're missing out
- 1:01:30Speaker 1: on this time in your twenties, but honestly, this isn't
- 1:01:32Speaker 1: the best time of your life anyway. Like your thirties
- 1:01:35Speaker 1: are going to be even better than your twenties. So
- 1:01:37Speaker 1: then you can be free, and then you could go
- 1:01:39Speaker 1: out and spread your wings.
- 1:01:41Speaker 2: And fly when you're smarter and cooler than ever. Yes, yes, absolutely.
- 1:01:45Speaker 1: Hope so yeah, yeah, but don't hope. So no, So
- 1:01:48Speaker 1: that's what's gonna happen. Where do you live? I live
- 1:01:51Speaker 1: in Louisiana? Okay? I was gonna say that accent I
- 1:01:54Speaker 1: couldn't quite place, and that's usually Louisiana when you can't
- 1:01:58Speaker 1: place it. Are you in New Orleans? Another part close
- 1:02:02Speaker 1: by New Orleans? Okay? So how did these girls come
- 1:02:05Speaker 1: into your life?
- 1:02:06Speaker 4: I work with kids in the Foster hair system, and
- 1:02:09Speaker 4: I worked closely with them. They went home with their
- 1:02:12Speaker 4: dad and I just kind of kept in touch just
- 1:02:14Speaker 4: in case, and one day he dropped him off and
- 1:02:19Speaker 4: said pretty much he can't do it anymore.
- 1:02:22Speaker 2: And I tried to.
- 1:02:23Speaker 4: Work with them the best that I could, but then
- 1:02:25Speaker 4: it was like I had to make a decision to
- 1:02:29Speaker 4: step up or I would have had to be the
- 1:02:32Speaker 4: bad guy and put them back where they did not
- 1:02:34Speaker 4: want to go. And so I mean it was the
- 1:02:37Speaker 4: easy yes for me at the time. I just I
- 1:02:40Speaker 4: didn't think future, Like I wasn't thinking what my life
- 1:02:44Speaker 4: would look like, you know, five years from that moment
- 1:02:47Speaker 4: or whatever.
- 1:02:47Speaker 2: And how good for those girls that you weren't thinking.
- 1:02:50Speaker 1: You know, yeah, yeah, you did it. That's a beautiful
- 1:02:53Speaker 1: thing that you've done. And these girls aren't gonna they
- 1:02:56Speaker 1: they're gonna get it. They're not gonna go out and
- 1:02:58Speaker 1: get pregnant. And if they do get pregnant, then hoefully
- 1:03:00Speaker 1: they'll get an abortion and they won't have a baby
- 1:03:02Speaker 1: before they're ready to have a child, you know what
- 1:03:04Speaker 1: I mean. Like people do make mistakes and that then
- 1:03:08Speaker 1: and you can you know, I don't know if Louisiana
- 1:03:10Speaker 1: is a state where you can, but whatever. Don't like
- 1:03:13Speaker 1: think about that aspect of things. Just make sure they're educated,
- 1:03:17Speaker 1: which I know you already are doing about getting pregnant
- 1:03:20Speaker 1: and about protecting themselves. And I understand that young girls
- 1:03:23Speaker 1: get off on negative attention. I know that, and that
- 1:03:26Speaker 1: can be a bad habit, but it's also kind of
- 1:03:28Speaker 1: part of growing.
- 1:03:28Speaker 2: Up and the fact that you're also like allowing them
- 1:03:32Speaker 2: space while also setting boundaries with them and like allowing
- 1:03:36Speaker 2: them to be individuals with their own thoughts and feelings,
- 1:03:40Speaker 2: and you're not you're not helicoptering them. You're allowing them
- 1:03:45Speaker 2: to grow up and still teach them and tell them
- 1:03:50Speaker 2: to like learn from me. Is that is so amazing? Yea,
- 1:03:53Speaker 2: Like the the lessons and the freedoms that you're giving
- 1:03:57Speaker 2: them is truly Like, especially I know it's so difficult
- 1:04:01Speaker 2: when when they're teenagers. I remember like how annoying I was,
- 1:04:06Speaker 2: But like I was always so grateful when my parents
- 1:04:10Speaker 2: gave me a little bit of freedom, So I trust
- 1:04:14Speaker 2: and trust.
- 1:04:14Speaker 1: Yes, I think the way to build trust is to
- 1:04:17Speaker 1: give people a little latitude and seeing what they come
- 1:04:20Speaker 1: back with. Like sometimes when you trust people who haven't
- 1:04:24Speaker 1: been entrusted before, they really value that, you know what
- 1:04:28Speaker 1: I mean. So it's like giving them a little of
- 1:04:30Speaker 1: latitude and seeing how they respond in that situation. And yeah,
- 1:04:34Speaker 1: I'm sure these girls are like endlessly grateful to you.
- 1:04:37Speaker 1: They are.
- 1:04:38Speaker 4: It's I just want to make sure that I'm doing
- 1:04:41Speaker 4: the best possible thing. And I know that no parent
- 1:04:44Speaker 4: is perfect, like for sure, but that's why I'm always
- 1:04:47Speaker 4: willing to learn and to hear from other people.
- 1:04:50Speaker 1: Yeah, you do, you are. You're doing a great job.
- 1:04:52Speaker 1: You are and calling and asking questions and being open
- 1:04:56Speaker 1: to that is also great. I have no doubt that
- 1:04:59Speaker 1: you the best influence that these girls have ever had.
- 1:05:02Speaker 2: Thank you.
- 1:05:03Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, so just hold tight and then get your
- 1:05:08Speaker 1: pussy out when they go to college and get the
- 1:05:11Speaker 1: fucking party started.
- 1:05:13Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't wait.
- 1:05:17Speaker 1: Okay, thanks for calling, Kelly.
- 1:05:20Speaker 4: Thank y'all.
- 1:05:21Speaker 1: Bye bye.
- 1:05:24Speaker 2: I love accent.
- 1:05:26Speaker 1: I know. It was like I was like, where is
- 1:05:28Speaker 1: and then she said something else and I'm like, wait, no,
- 1:05:30Speaker 1: that's not Mississi, And then that is occasion accent for sure.
- 1:05:35Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 1:05:36Speaker 1: Okay, Well that's our episode of Madeline Kline, who has
- 1:05:39Speaker 1: been so cute and oh my god, you guys can
- 1:05:42Speaker 1: watch Outer Banks. Season five is going to be on
- 1:05:45Speaker 1: Netflix in a couple of weeks. In a couple of
- 1:05:47Speaker 1: weeks August twentieth. Everybody, they have a couple tongues like draff.
- 1:06:03Speaker 3: If you want advice from Chelsea, write into Dear Chelsea Podcast.
- 1:06:06Speaker 2: At gmail dot com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartMedia.
- 1:06:11Speaker 3: Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler, and find
- 1:06:14Speaker 3: Katherine on TikTok at flash Cadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited
- 1:06:18Speaker 3: and engineered by Brandon Dickert executive producer Katherine Law. Find
- 1:06:22Speaker 3: full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix, and get
- 1:06:25Speaker 3: tickets to see Chelsea live at Chelseahanler dot com