Latest / ok storytime / My fiancé kept LOCKING me out of our apartment… so I slept somewhere else! -r/AITAH | Reddit Stories | EP3055

Transcript

My fiancé kept LOCKING me out of our apartment… so I slept somewhere else! -r/AITAH | Reddit Stories | EP3055 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Riley.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Keon, your favorite OK Storytime host, and
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: But before we get.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: To that, we have a quick two-minute break from the
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: sponsors that keep the show alive.
• 0:11
  Speaker 4: My fiancé kept locking me out of our apartment, so
• 0:16
  Speaker 4: I slept somewhere else.
• 0:17
  Speaker 5: And that sounds like the reasonable thing to do.
• 0:20
  Speaker 4: My female 26, fiancé male 28, and I have been
• 0:26
  Speaker 4: dating for a couple years and recently got engaged. We've
• 0:31
  Speaker 4: had a very wonderful relationship so far with little to
• 0:33
  Speaker 4: no conflict. We communicate very well, and I'm just so
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: excited to marry him. Just as a disclaimer, we recently
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: moved into a new apartment a few months ago, which
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: has been fine, but recently there's been an issue with
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: the locks. We both work full-time jobs, but he gets
• 0:50
  Speaker 4: home about 45 minutes to an hour before I do. Lately,
• 0:54
  Speaker 4: he will turn the top lock instead of the bottom
• 0:56
  Speaker 4: lock when he gets home, consequently locking me out of
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: the apartment. The top lock can only be locked from inside,
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: and there's no way to unlock it from the outside.
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: The first couple of times this happened, I let it
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: slide because it genuinely seemed like an accident, and he
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: was very, very apologetic. I know him very well, and
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: there's not a malicious bone in his body, so there's
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: no possibility it's something he's doing on purpose. He's always
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: very excited to see me when I get home, very
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: clingy overall, and rushes to open the door once he
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: hears me knock, so again, I don't think it's something
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: being done on purpose. By the way, this comes from
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: user MindlessBook6457. If you want to submit your own stories,
• 1:40
  Speaker 4: go to the r slash ok story time subreddit IamDakota.
• 1:44
  Speaker 5: I'm Savannah.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: I'm Keon.
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: We're going to read this story here in my hand.
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: We're going to have our thoughts about it. We're going
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: to say them out loud. You can have thoughts about
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: our thoughts or about the story, and you can put
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: them in the comments below. And OP says, However, it
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: started becoming more frequent, despite me expressing how frustrating it
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: has become. My commute home is long and traffic the
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: entire time, so... I'm almost always in a bad mood
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: by the time I park at our apartment. So coming
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: home just to be locked out when all I want
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: to do is just be home makes me a little pissy.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Pause right there. Because if you've identified.
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: That every time you commute home from work, you're in
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: a bad mood, that's a you problem.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: With a you solution. Put on some you too.
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: He apologizes profusely every time and says he'll pay more
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: attention and for.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: A couple of days he'll start using the correct lock.
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: But then, oh then, he'll go right back to using
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: the other one. Eventually, I kind of snapped at him
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: and told him the next time I get home and
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: I'm locked out, I'm just going to find somewhere else
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: to stay for the night. He really didn't like the
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: fact that I was threatening him with this, but again,
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: assured me he'd be better about it and pay more
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: attention to which lock he uses, which he never locks both,
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: by the way, just one of them.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: This was a couple of days ago.
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: We were both a little icy after that interaction, but
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: quickly got over it and everything was back to normal.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Sure enough, yesterday evening I got to the apartment and
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: the door was locked.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: I didn't even knock, I just immediately pivoted and went
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: right back to my car. After a quick stop at
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: the Walmart for the essentials, I booked a hotel for
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: the night and stayed there. It did not take long
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: for him to figure out what was happening, and he
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: called me within like ten minutes of me getting back
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: in my car after I had got home. He was
• 3:43
  Speaker 4: apologizing and begging me to come back, but I reminded
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: him that I warned him what would happen if he
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: locked me out again, and that I wasn't coming back
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: until tomorrow. You're both really, you guys both suck in
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: very different ways in this story.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: I was going to say the same thing. You guys
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: both totally suck here. Hey, dingus. Don't use the top lock.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: Use the bottom lock. Hey, girly pop. I don't know
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: what's going on with your boyfriend.
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: But we need to do a different solution other than
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: the thing that doesn't work at all. Maybe he's got,
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: you know, 25 years of sense memory of locking a deadbolt.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's hard for him to override that.
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: He fought me hard on this, but I stayed firm
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: and quickly ended the phone call. That evening, he was
• 4:27
  Speaker 4: texting me a lot, again, full of apologies, and I
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: didn't answer them.
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: Oh, you suck.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Now it's the next day. I'm typing this up at.
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: Work, and I'm a little anxious about going back home
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: after last night. He hasn't texted or called since. Am
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: I the a-hole for not bluffing? You're an a-hole. For
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: not bluffing, but both of you are a-holes for being
• 4:51
  Speaker 4: too thick to fix this problem. And instead now, it's
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: a relationship problem. Instead of a physical, tangible, door-locky problem,
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: now it's you guys hate each other.
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: Door-locky too much.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Door-locky too much. That's just a Danish sentence.
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: Edit to answer some questions and debunk some theories.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Hmm.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: A game theory?
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: Why don't we de-install the one-way lock on our door?
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, my gosh. Is that you, Banjo-Kazooie?
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: I can confidently say he is not cheating or worried
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: about me catching him watching any explicit material or something. Plus,
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: I already know that he watches that stuff sometimes, so
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: randomly deciding to hide it now wouldn't make any sense.
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: To everyone telling me to change the locks, this is
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: an apartment that we rent. We can't just up and
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: change the locks.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Now that's where you're wrong.
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: Can't you tell the landlord?
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you can change the locks and be like, hey,
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: I changed the lock on our apartment because it was
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: dumb and only worked one way.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: So you're welcome, actually. Here's a copy of the key.
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: His old place that we lived at before moving here
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: had a similar situation with the locks. They were in
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: the same location, and the top one could only be
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: locked from the inside. There was one instance where he
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: locked me out then, but never again after that. Besides now, obviously.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: So not only.
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: You're more the A-hole now, because not only.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Sure, he keeps locking the same lock.
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: It's because it's the same lock of the place he
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: used to live before you guys moved here.
• 6:36
  Speaker 5: How long was he in that place?
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: You know how hard it is to overwrite that kind
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: of muscle memory? Just flinch. Just, like, not thinky, no
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: brain muscle memory.
• 6:46
  Speaker 5: Not thinky, no brain.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: It's hard. It shouldn't be this hard.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: I would adjust very easily. But someone in the comments said,
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: why don't you just call your husband while you're driving
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: home from work?
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah, on the way home, just be like, hey, I'm
• 6:58
  Speaker 5: going to be home in, like, 15 minutes. Just make
• 7:00
  Speaker 5: sure the door's unlocked.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: For fiance.
• 7:03
  Speaker 5: Beep, boop, bop. The end.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: OP continues. Think what you want.
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: But I don't think this is something worth throwing away
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: an entire relationship for. What?
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: Who's telling you that? No one should be telling you that.
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: We think you're being foolish for still going to the
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: hotel like a stubborn old goat.
• 7:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah, why don't you just sleep in your car for free?
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I'd be knocking on the door. Ringing
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: the apartment bell, calling his phone.
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: I'd be throwing stones at the freaking window and then
• 7:35
  Speaker 5: having a boombox over my head being like, let me in.
• 7:39
  Speaker 5: What's like a let me in? Oh, someone's knocking at
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: the door.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Somebody's ringing the bell.
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. Someone's knocking at the door.
• 7:51
  Speaker 5: Do me a favor. Open the door.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: Let him in.
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: He's amazing in every other regard, and I'd feel beyond
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: silly for breaking up with him for this. People in
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: relationships are allowed to be frustrated with each other and
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: not immediately.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: Call it quits. Dang.
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: He decided to cover it with a sticky note. So
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: using that lock would have to be more intentional. He
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: was fully on board with this idea, and there was
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: no pushback. His explanation for it was that he doesn't
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: really look when he locks the door. He walks in,
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: blindly reaches for the door, and grabs for the first
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: lock he feels.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: They both sound the same. So he has no indication
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: of which lock is locked.
• 8:28
  Speaker 5: So that's when you use these things called your eyeballs
• 8:32
  Speaker 5: and you look and be like, oh, oops, I didn't
• 8:34
  Speaker 5: do the right one. Let me just go switch that
• 8:36
  Speaker 5: real quick so my fiance doesn't get pissed at me
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: and is locked out of our house.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: That's me reprogramming, recalibrating boyfriend here.
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: I will now make visual confirmation with the door lock.
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: Boyfriend robot? Because what in the hell are you talking about?
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: I do, this is what I do.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: I open the door. And then I look away. I
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: close it.
• 9:04
  Speaker 6: I turn.
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: And I just fumble around for the, oh, there's one.
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: Sound is the same. Sounds good. And then I continue
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: to walk this way without looking that.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Way until the door is out of sight. You deserve
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: to be locked up. I want them to build a
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: new Alcatraz for just you. And only you. And you
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: live there.
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: Last sentence of the story, this explanation he gave made
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: me sigh-eye him a bit initially, but.
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: Admittedly.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Admittedly. And that is the end of that story. Adlibidly. No, but... But,
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: I think that's Korean.
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: What?
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: I think that first one is Korean. But it's probably
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: this emoji.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: It's probably this emoji.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: Sharp angles. I think it was the shrug. You both
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: need to be put somewhere.
• 10:06
  Speaker 6: I don't know.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: But your boyfriend more than you.
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: But the fact that it took you going to Reddit
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: and you stayed in a hotel and he called you late.
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: And you guys are you. You folks stay wherever you are.
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: As long as it is far away from me. I
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: don't want to do, I don't want to know you.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: the next one.
• 10:29
  Speaker 5: My boyfriend turned our relationship into a spreadsheet and I
• 10:32
  Speaker 5: had no idea.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: It's kind of hot.
• 10:35
  Speaker 5: No.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: No, I'm just kidding.
• 10:37
  Speaker 5: I've been with Jack for one year and one month now.
• 10:41
  Speaker 5: Our relationship is a unique one because of my boyfriend's
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: way of dealing with issues.
• 10:45
  Speaker 7: Ooh, I can't wait to hear about the trauma he's
• 10:47
  Speaker 7: been through that makes him be so weird and unique.
• 10:51
  Speaker 7: He's an incredibly logical and organized person. He likes order
• 10:55
  Speaker 7: and categories and lists.
• 10:57
  Speaker 5: Girl, same. I love a good list. Oh, oh, I
• 11:00
  Speaker 5: love a list. Oh, I love a list. It's one
• 11:02
  Speaker 5: of the things I've always adored about him and found
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: incredibly interesting. He doesn't see the world the way other
• 11:08
  Speaker 5: people do. He amazes me because he's organized and no
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: man ever in their life is. He'll create spreadsheets and
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: diagrams to work out the best way of communicating to work.
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: If he has a decision to make, he makes pretty
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: much a folder of paper with information to help him
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: make his decision. Okay, I don't go that far.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Is it the thing that the girls did in grade school?
• 11:30
  Speaker 5: What is this called?
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: The paper fortune. The paper fortune?
• 11:34
  Speaker 5: No, it's called something. It's like cootie.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I wasn't the girl who made that.
• 11:41
  Speaker 5: Cootie catcher.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he has.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: He's like, let me use my awesome machine to make
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: a decision for me. Today's purple.
• 11:47
  Speaker 5: He'll make lists of pros and cons. He'll read books.
• 11:50
  Speaker 5: He'll create comparative diagrams and pie charts and all sorts
• 11:53
  Speaker 5: of stuff. He's so incredibly thorough about everything. I've never
• 11:58
  Speaker 5: known him to make a mistake in his life. He
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: solves problems in a flash. By the way, this comes
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: from Binkthler.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: Binkthler.
• 12:08
  Speaker 5: Binkthler. And if you want to submit your own stories,
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: go to the r slash okay story dice subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: I'm Dakota. I'm Keon.
• 12:17
  Speaker 5: We are here to give some good advice in maybe
• 12:20
  Speaker 5: a goofy way, but we do not have all the answers.
• 12:22
  Speaker 5: We'd only tell you what we would do. And we
• 12:26
  Speaker 5: don't know exactly what we would do. And if we do,
• 12:29
  Speaker 5: we still don't know. But guess what you do? You know.
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: Give us the answers down below in the comments. As
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: Opie says, if I come to him with a problem, example,
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: a woman at work is upsetting me, he'll sit down
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: with me and create a mind map of all the options.
• 12:44
  Speaker 5: Then we'll work out the risk and reward of each option,
• 12:47
  Speaker 5: then decide on a solution, then decide how to stop
• 12:49
  Speaker 5: it happening again, etc. He loves everything to be on
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: paper and to be thought through. He's passionate about it.
• 12:57
  Speaker 5: This is going to be a bit of background info,
• 12:59
  Speaker 5: but it does explain his behavior. When Jack was 16,
• 13:03
  Speaker 5: he was in an emotionally harmful relationship with a very
• 13:06
  Speaker 5: manipulative and horrible girl. She was irrational, impossible to reason with, scheming.
• 13:12
  Speaker 5: She'd twist his words and make him out to be
• 13:14
  Speaker 5: an awful person. Every day, he was at blame for something,
• 13:17
  Speaker 5: and he could never do anything right to her. After
• 13:20
  Speaker 5: two years, they broke up, and he recognized that he'd
• 13:23
  Speaker 5: been in a harmful relationship, and he came up with
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: a solution, as he always does. So he read a
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: ton of books, visited a therapist, did a lot of research.
• 13:33
  Speaker 5: He's pretty much an expert on relationships and people. He
• 13:36
  Speaker 5: has created a million different theories, approaches, methods of dealing
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: with problems. He has created categories and labels for every
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: kind of behavior and interaction between people. He could write
• 13:46
  Speaker 5: books on it. He could teach this stuff. He could
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: be a psychologist. It astounds me the amazing things he
• 13:51
  Speaker 5: comes up with. The way he manages to put things
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: into words and explain them so eloquently is mind-blowing to me.
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: He's so incredibly intelligent. He can read people and situations
• 14:01
  Speaker 5: so well. He's like Sheldon Cooper, but he can apply
• 14:06
  Speaker 5: his intelligence to dealing with people, which led him to
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: come up with this form. If I'm upset, annoyed, if
• 14:12
  Speaker 5: there's any kind of problem between me and Jack, I
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: have to fill out a form.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: That's weird. Oh, no.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: He's treating everything like data and analytics, which I don't
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: like this anymore.
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: I thought it was weird from the beginning, and I
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: tried not to be too harsh. But now that you
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: have to fill out a form to have an official
• 14:36
  Speaker 5: complaint against your partner, what is he, HR?
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: I did like it at first.
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: I don't.
• 14:42
  Speaker 5: I don't like it at all now. I don't. No, no, no, no, no.
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: As someone who's not very organized, I was like, here's
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: a guy who's got it all figured out.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: I do not think that anymore.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: He's very data analytics. And there are people out there,
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: but this is, it's like every decision you make and
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: every little thing.
• 14:58
  Speaker 5: I would be weirded the frick out.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: I need to see how he does in critical thinking.
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: I need you to think within two seconds. How does
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: he respond under pressure? Yeah, truly.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: That's what I want to see.
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: It's very detailed and thorough. I have to identify the
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: specific behavior that has upset me, why it has upset me,
• 15:19
  Speaker 5: what my exact emotions are towards it, how I think
• 15:22
  Speaker 5: it can be solved, how I think it can be
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: avoided in the future. The form is like three pages long.
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: I have to classify how bad the problem is by
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: a scale of one to five at the top of
• 15:35
  Speaker 5: the page. I am not joking. One is a mild
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: annoyance that is bugging me. Five is make or break,
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: deal breakers, seriously hurtful stuff.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: I would have done five at like, hey, this right here.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Why are we doing this? Five on it.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: It's a five. Why are we doing this?
• 15:51
  Speaker 5: I would have tore it up and would have been like,
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: let's talk. Is that weird? Is that weird to talk
• 15:57
  Speaker 5: things out or does it have to go through a form?
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: And then you.
• 15:59
  Speaker 5: Analyze and are like, I have now come to a conclusion.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: You are mad at me.
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: You are mad at me. I am sorry.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: Seven, seven, seven. You hit the jackpot. Come get a kiss.
• 16:19
  Speaker 5: It's crazy. We have copies of the form in a
• 16:22
  Speaker 5: drawer ready. I've probably filled out this stupid form about
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: 15 times in the time we've been together. So like
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: once every three weeks, is that right? I don't know,
• 16:31
  Speaker 5: I don't do math. Once I filled out the form,
• 16:34
  Speaker 5: I have to leave it for a few hours and
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: reread it again. By the way, when I'm saying I
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: have to, I mean this is what he suggests I do.
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: He's not forceful about it. I have to adjust how
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: annoyed I am if I've calmed down slash gotten more upset.
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: If I left anything out or decided that something is
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: no longer a problem, I can add it in or
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: cross it out. Then I hand it over to Jack.
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: We don't speak for an hour or two or however
• 17:03
  Speaker 5: long it takes him to process the information and come
• 17:08
  Speaker 5: up with a response. He validates my feelings, explains his
• 17:11
  Speaker 5: point of view, and then together we make a joint
• 17:14
  Speaker 5: decision and compromise on the outcome of the problem. I
• 17:17
  Speaker 5: thought it was just going to end at we make
• 17:19
  Speaker 5: a joint, and I was going to applaud you, and
• 17:21
  Speaker 5: then it just went into blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
• 17:23
  Speaker 5: blah after.
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it sounds like this guy needs one of those.
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: You think this guy needs a little joint, you know
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: what I mean?
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: This guy needs to open his mind a little bit
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: and go, whoa, what if, like, the list wasn't a list?
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: What if the list was, like, coming out of my
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: mouth in the form of a sentence.
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: Oh, dude. Yeah, Agal, I'm with you. He can't just talk. No, no.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: He's like, oh, you got a problem? Let me take
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: it up to my superior.
• 17:55
  Speaker 5: It's crazy. It's a very, very clinical and almost mathematical,
• 17:59
  Speaker 5: does that make sense, way of sorting out a problem.
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: But it does work. He has given me the form
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: with his problems five to six times. It is a
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: two-way thing. At first, I found it fascinating, loved the
• 18:13
  Speaker 5: idea of it, loved how simple and logical it was.
• 18:16
  Speaker 5: I enjoyed filling it out. It helped. And I guess
• 18:18
  Speaker 5: it still helps me to express myself and sort out
• 18:21
  Speaker 5: my feelings and emotions. I do understand myself better as
• 18:24
  Speaker 5: a person. I understand relationships and their problems better. But
• 18:28
  Speaker 5: now it makes me feel like I'm at school or
• 18:31
  Speaker 5: work and I'm filing an official complaint. I feel like
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: he's my head teacher or my boss and it feels
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: patronizing and stupid to be filling out a form when
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: I'm upset about something. I feel like an idiot handing
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: over the form and waiting for a response. Our relationship
• 18:47
  Speaker 5: is not a product or a math problem. Everything is
• 18:51
  Speaker 5: about reflecting and processing and solving and it's just getting
• 18:54
  Speaker 5: annoying and ridiculous. I made the mistake of talking to
• 18:57
  Speaker 5: my friends about it and now they just take the piss.
• 19:01
  Speaker 5: What does that mean?
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: Taking a piss. It means they're just like not really.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: They just do it. It's whatever. They're just like, oh
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: my God, yeah? That's so funny. Taking a piss.
• 19:12
  Speaker 5: Asking if I'm going to have to fill out a
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: form if I express any annoyance towards Jack. My sisters
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: think he's being controlling, but he's not. Although it's a
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: controlled way of doing things, he has never ever made
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: me do it or tried to guilt trip me if
• 19:27
  Speaker 5: I don't want to fill it out. A few times
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: in the last couple of months, I've asked for us
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: to talk about a problem instead of filling in forms,
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: and he agrees. But even when we're talking about it,
• 19:38
  Speaker 5: I know he's just seeing the form in his head
• 19:40
  Speaker 5: and asking me the same questions that are on it.
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: Last week, we got into a huge argument about the form,
• 19:47
  Speaker 5: and I called him abnormal and told him he needed therapy.
• 19:50
  Speaker 5: He said that he's happy and he likes his life
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: under control. He recognized that my feelings about the form
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: are valid. He said that he was always willing to compromise.
• 20:00
  Speaker 5: He said he doesn't want me to feel like he's
• 20:01
  Speaker 5: my boss or teacher, and so he started holding my
• 20:04
  Speaker 5: hand when we discuss a problem and using more pet
• 20:06
  Speaker 5: names and talking more emotionally to me. And we don't
• 20:09
  Speaker 5: use the form for small problems, but I know that
• 20:12
  Speaker 5: he's just applying something to a situation. He's just seeing
• 20:16
  Speaker 5: it as a mathematical problem, and if he does X
• 20:19
  Speaker 5: and Y, then the result will be Z. I've told
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: him this is the way I feel, and he said
• 20:25
  Speaker 5: that he understands why I feel that way, but it's
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: the only way he knows how to be. He wasn't
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: sure what we should do. It was his idea for
• 20:33
  Speaker 5: me to post here. If he was a bad person,
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: he'd be terrifying, but he honestly has a heart of gold.
• 20:39
  Speaker 5: He uses his powers for good, so to speak. He
• 20:43
  Speaker 5: has never, ever tried to invalidate my feelings, and his
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: intentions with this form are only to solve our problems.
• 20:50
  Speaker 5: But writing them on a form makes me feel like
• 20:51
  Speaker 5: they're invalidated? It makes me feel like we're a maths equation,
• 20:56
  Speaker 5: and he knows all the answers, and I'm a six-year-old
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: that can't do two plus two. I know the majority
• 21:01
  Speaker 5: of people are just going to say, you're incompatible, he's crazy,
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: break up, but he is kind of onto something? Like,
• 21:09
  Speaker 5: we do solve our problems fast, we never have repeat problems,
• 21:12
  Speaker 5: but the way we solve our problems has become a problem.
• 21:16
  Speaker 5: Please help. You, OP, it just seems like you, this
• 21:23
  Speaker 5: is going to be a problem, and you can't force
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: him to change? and he doesn't want to change, and
• 21:30
  Speaker 5: he feels comfortable like this, and you cannot force him
• 21:33
  Speaker 5: out of this mindset, I don't know. This is really hard,
• 21:38
  Speaker 5: because I feel, it's not that you're falling out of
• 21:40
  Speaker 5: love with him, you just want him to think a
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: different way, but he doesn't want to do that. You
• 21:43
  Speaker 5: can't force someone to do that. You can't force them to,
• 21:47
  Speaker 5: quote unquote, be normal, you know? So it's really hard.
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: Does this pop up in other elements of your, like,
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: how do you guys pick where to go to eat
• 21:56
  Speaker 4: for dinner? Is he in charge of the deciding process
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: for all this stuff?
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: Or is it just within the relationship? Because if it's
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: just within the relationship, this guy's traumatized.
• 22:07
  Speaker 5: I agree with Sam Chan. I don't think boyfriend is
• 22:11
  Speaker 5: intending to make OP feel dumb. This just works for
• 22:14
  Speaker 5: him and it's comfortable.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: And let's not forget, it also does work for OP.
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: OP just said, we solve our relationship problems like wicked
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: fast and we never have them again. But now I
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: have a problem with the way we solve our relationship problems.
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: So she has a problem with the way you have problems.
• 22:34
  Speaker 5: And that's a problem.
• 22:36
  Speaker 4: Now, I would never say something out of pocket. Like,
• 22:39
  Speaker 4: I just think OP is difficult. And I would never
• 22:42
  Speaker 4: say that because this is clearly deeper than that. But
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: I do think it's a little funny to be it.
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: Maybe you need to start making some lists. Make a
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: list about this list and about why it upsets you.
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: And what are the pros.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: And the cons?
• 22:57
  Speaker 5: Wait, Christy Cameron says, there's no exciting in the relationship.
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: It's all controlled, no spontaneity to it.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: But are we, is it about everything in the relationship
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: or is it just about the problems?
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: Because if you equate like spontaneity in relationships to having
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: like big dramatic issues that take a lot of energy
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: and emotional, you know, turmoil to resolve, that's not, that's
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: not spontaneity.
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: But there's an update. I would love to hear everyone's
• 23:25
  Speaker 5: opinions and see what kind of discussion this could spur.
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: I couldn't find the most recent version of it on
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: my PC. He's revised it a few times over the
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: last year, but this version shouldn't be too different. There
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: may just be a few spelling slash grammar mistakes. I'd
• 23:40
  Speaker 5: love to know how many people would consider using this
• 23:43
  Speaker 5: in their relationship, how useful they think it could be, etc.
• 23:46
  Speaker 5: I got my boyfriend's permission to post this beforehand, and
• 23:49
  Speaker 5: he would love to know how it could be improved
• 23:51
  Speaker 5: and hear everyone's opinions. Update two. I also posted on
• 23:56
  Speaker 5: slash self so that I could post a link to
• 23:59
  Speaker 5: the form and ask for people's opinion on it. I
• 24:01
  Speaker 5: showed my boyfriend the thread and he said different strokes
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: for different folks. I decided after posting the thread that
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: I wasn't going to break up with him and that
• 24:09
  Speaker 5: we were just going to use the form less in
• 24:12
  Speaker 5: the hopes that in the future we'll be able to
• 24:14
  Speaker 5: get rid of it completely. Well, two weeks later and
• 24:17
  Speaker 5: Jack told me he wanted to buy a new hard
• 24:19
  Speaker 5: drive because his laptop was running really, really slow. To
• 24:23
  Speaker 5: cut a long story short, he went out and I
• 24:25
  Speaker 5: logged onto his laptop, determined to fix his laptop before
• 24:28
  Speaker 5: he went and wasted money. What I found were hundreds
• 24:32
  Speaker 5: and hundreds of folders of documentation and data surrounding his life,
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: some of it including our relationship. There was a lot
• 24:40
  Speaker 5: of data about the amount of spicy sleep we have,
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: his one-hand clap habits, things like that.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: He does like a hypothesis.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: He's like, hmm, it's a three, you know?
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Didn't like that one. Based on my jorping behavior. Jarvis. Jarvis. Jarvis,
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: track my jorps from now on. Computer. Computer, make this
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: guy a little... Computer.
• 25:04
  Speaker 5: Stop it.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Computer, I want you to make this guy.
• 25:11
  Speaker 5: Data about what time he wakes up in the morning,
• 25:13
  Speaker 5: what time he has lunch, the weight of his meals,
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: how many minutes he exercises for.
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: I thought you were going to say the weight of
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: his something else.
• 25:23
  Speaker 5: What time he leaves for work, he measures his blood pressure,
• 25:26
  Speaker 5: how many texts he sends a day, absolutely ridiculous things
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: like that. The data starts in 2010. He's been doing
• 25:33
  Speaker 5: this for five years since he was 19 years old,
• 25:37
  Speaker 5: and I had absolutely no idea.
• 25:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Girly Pop, like I said, this is bigger than you.
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: The sheets, the data, it's bigger than you, babe. Way
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: bigger than you.
• 25:48
  Speaker 5: He does spend a lot of time on his laptop
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: and his phone. But whenever I've peered over his shoulder,
• 25:53
  Speaker 5: it's always been innocent and normal things. I almost never
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: sleep over at his house because we both wake each
• 25:59
  Speaker 5: other up constantly, and I guess that's why I've never
• 26:02
  Speaker 5: realized him measuring things. I was really angry when he
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: got home, and we had a huge argument about it
• 26:08
  Speaker 5: because I felt violated that he was collecting data about
• 26:11
  Speaker 5: me and our relationship, and I had no idea.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and he probably.
• 26:16
  Speaker 4: Felt violated that you just looked through all of his
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: data and information.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: What's he doing with it?
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: How did you not, how did you, you knew that
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: he was good. He, he's been doing this your entire
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: relationship and you didn't put two and two together that
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: he's been just doing.
• 26:31
  Speaker 5: She acts like this is a surprise.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: Exactly. And then also to act like this is anything malicious.
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: It's like, how dare you?
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: It's like, shut up. How dare he?
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: What do you mean you were paying attention? And writing
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: things down.
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: It's just like a little journal. With just a little
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: bit more analytics and graphs.
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: Clearly my brain is a little different.
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: And you know this. And you have known this for.
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: Over a year now.
• 27:01
  Speaker 4: OP's talking like she would have thrown him in a freaking...
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: They would have put him on a leper colony.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: It's like, this freak and his numbers.
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: Hear ye, hear ye, I found Jonathan's numbers in his house.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: Look, he's written all of these numbers.
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: And they'd be like, cast him out to the Isle
• 27:18
  Speaker 5: of Lepers.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: Cast him out to the isle.
• 27:22
  Speaker 5: The weirdo is coming. The weirdo is coming. Boo!
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: They throw rocks. They throw old, rotten. They throw logs.
• 27:31
  Speaker 5: Rotten logs at him.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: Somebody uses a mule and they eat him.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: Ugh.
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: And they dig a hole and just bury him.
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: And they dig a hole and then they take that
• 27:39
  Speaker 4: hole and they put it in a boat and they
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: send the.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Boat to a leprechaun. And that's what OP would have
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: done to her own boyfriend. Call it.
• 27:47
  Speaker 5: For F's sake, if your partner is going to write
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: down every time you have spicy sleep, you would want
• 27:53
  Speaker 5: to know about it. Am I right? He ended up
• 27:56
  Speaker 5: leaving and coming back a few hours later, and we
• 27:58
  Speaker 5: tried to talk about it. He said he's not doing
• 28:01
  Speaker 5: anything wrong because he doesn't show anyone the data, and
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: he doesn't use it for anything malicious. He just likes
• 28:07
  Speaker 5: to see correlations in the relationships between data, and then
• 28:10
  Speaker 5: he showed me all of these charts that he's made
• 28:13
  Speaker 5: from his data. Things like the amount of time he
• 28:15
  Speaker 5: spends exercising compared to how many times we have spicy sleep.
• 28:19
  Speaker 5: He also documents how many times he cries, which completely
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: shocked me because I have only seen him cry twice
• 28:25
  Speaker 5: throughout our whole relationship. He says he does experiments, like
• 28:29
  Speaker 5: he makes an effort to text five people in a week,
• 28:32
  Speaker 5: and he sees if that makes him happier or helps
• 28:35
  Speaker 5: his friendships or whatever.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: It's just like a journal.
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: True, it is like a journal. It's just an analytical journal.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: We must protect this man. Like I feel like.
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: People like quote unquote normal people will write their emotions
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: down and how they feel in their journals. He is
• 28:52
  Speaker 5: just using spreadsheets. That's easier for him. And that's how
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: he sees the world is very analytical rather than, oh,
• 28:59
  Speaker 5: I'm going to rule by emotions and rule by how
• 29:01
  Speaker 5: I feel. He doesn't. Get that. That doesn't work for him.
• 29:05
  Speaker 5: And that's fine.
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Like we said, it may be too much for us,
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: but to him, that's how his brain clicks. That's how
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: it works.
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: We must hold the line for this man at all costs.
• 29:22
  Speaker 5: I think we've said everything, so I'm just going to go.
• 29:24
  Speaker 7: Yes.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: And 678, I would be like, what?
• 29:28
  Speaker 5: Huh.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 29:30
  Speaker 6: You've been doing it.
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: Also, I'd be like, how have I never noticed this?
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: I would be more like with myself. I'd be like,
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: you've been doing this the whole time.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: I've never noticed. Like a little flashback. Like he's literally
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: writing it down or like, all right, we just slept together.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: Let me go to my computer. I got to type
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: some stuff.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: It depends on the nature of the person I'm dating,
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: you know?
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: Like, if I felt like it was a thing that
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: they were writing down so that they could come back
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: and be like, well, see, you did this, then I'd
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: be like, okay, absolutely not.
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: No way.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: Like, an elephant never forgets. It's like, no, no, no, no. Yeah,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: it's like, no, and we're done. We're done with that.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: He was doing it for himself.
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, if it was in any way to be used
• 30:08
  Speaker 4: against me at some point, no thanks.
• 30:11
  Speaker 5: I was still really angry, so I went home and
• 30:14
  Speaker 5: I told him I needed some time to think. And
• 30:16
  Speaker 5: then he texted me like seven times and I made
• 30:18
  Speaker 5: a chart of how many times he texts me compared
• 30:21
  Speaker 5: to how likely I was to break up with him,
• 30:23
  Speaker 5: which I feel really pathetic about now.
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: I mean, that's interesting data. You're like, okay, so let's see.
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: As he increases his texts, some reason my wanting to.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: Break up with him goes up. Why is that? Let's
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: figure it out.
• 30:43
  Speaker 5: Sam Chan says, if this is weird and quirky, how
• 30:45
  Speaker 5: do you feel about Abed from Community? I love Abed.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: Abed would have been my best friend. And he'd still
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: be my best friend.
• 30:55
  Speaker 5: I didn't even want to post an update and I
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: felt we were going to be okay and that I
• 31:00
  Speaker 5: was being stupid about the form, especially when he was
• 31:03
  Speaker 5: so willing to give it up. But now I feel
• 31:05
  Speaker 5: like an idiot and I'm at the end of my tether.
• 31:08
  Speaker 5: I feel like a science experiment to him. And I
• 31:11
  Speaker 5: feel like there's a whole side to him that I've
• 31:13
  Speaker 5: never fully seen or been aware of before. If I
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: asked him to go to therapy, would he be able
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: to stop doing his crazy calculations and data gathering?
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, you're still missing the point.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: It's not about you.
• 31:25
  Speaker 5: I know she just wants to change him, but you
• 31:28
  Speaker 5: go pee. He's always been like this. He's not going
• 31:31
  Speaker 5: to change. He can get help and maybe like, Not change,
• 31:36
  Speaker 5: but like.
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: Just to understand where this desire is coming from and
• 31:40
  Speaker 4: that it's not an element that's controlling his decisions or
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: informing them, but more it's just a behavior that he
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: does because it's interesting to him.
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: And again, for you to claim.
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: You had no idea he was like this when he's
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: been charting every problem y'all have in your relationship and
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: y'all have been fixing it For the last year and change,
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: you didn't expect that he was, you know, a data collector.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know.
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: I think y'all could both use therapy as some commenters
• 32:15
  Speaker 4: are saying right now. But also the way that she's
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: saying it, where it's like, if I tell him to
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: go to therapy, will he like get better and like
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: be different? It's like, just leave him just to get out.
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: You don't like this guy.
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: That's probably going to be a part of him no
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: matter what.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: If you have kids, he's going to do it. That's
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: his brain. That's how it clicks.
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: That's how he figures things out. That's how he goes
• 32:40
  Speaker 5: through life. And everyone goes through life differently. But the
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: thing is, OP, if you are not on board with this,
• 32:47
  Speaker 5: if you can't handle this, if you don't like the
• 32:49
  Speaker 5: way that he does this, then you need to be
• 32:51
  Speaker 5: the one to decide, okay, this is not for me,
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: but I'm just going to say it's on me and
• 32:57
  Speaker 5: not you because you've been this way the whole time.
• 33:00
  Speaker 5: I can't blame you because that you have been here
• 33:03
  Speaker 5: very clearly doing the same, doing this for the entirety
• 33:08
  Speaker 5: of our relationship. So I have to then in turn
• 33:10
  Speaker 5: blame myself because I'm the one with the issue. Big
• 33:16
  Speaker 5: brain energy right here.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: the next one.
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: Hey, it's Smiley Riley here from OK Storytime. We're going
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: to get back to these stories, but here's three minutes
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: worth of ads from our sponsors.
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: My boyfriend called me a gold digger because I asked
• 33:32
  Speaker 4: for one takeout meal. She take my money. I, 24 female,
• 33:37
  Speaker 4: have been dating my boyfriend, 23 male, for almost two years.
• 33:41
  Speaker 4: We're long distance, and overall, I'd say we have a
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: good relationship. Recently, I lost my job. My mom also
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: lost hers around the same time, and money has been
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: very tight. I wasn't making a huge salary before, but
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: I used to have enough to occasionally treat myself.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: Right now... I'm in a position where even small luxuries
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: feel irresponsible.
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: Today, I was talking to my boyfriend and mentioned that
• 34:06
  Speaker 4: I'd been craving McDonald's for days. He asked why I
• 34:11
  Speaker 4: didn't just order some, and I explained that I was
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: trying to save every bit of money I could because
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: I am unemployed.
• 34:17
  Speaker 6: You should be craving peanut butter.
• 34:19
  Speaker 4: Jokingly, I said something along the lines of, you could
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: always send me some and be my sugar daddy.
• 34:27
  Speaker 6: I'll pay you back in other ways.
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: This was not a serious request. And we joke around
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: like that all the time. In almost two years together,
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: I've never asked him for money. I never expected him
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: to pay my bills, and I never demanded gifts or
• 34:43
  Speaker 4: financial support at all.
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: What surprised me was how serious he took it.
• 34:50
  Speaker 4: He immediately said that he didn't care if I was unemployed,
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: that he wasn't the kind of man who financially supports women.
• 34:56
  Speaker 4: which is a wild thing to say to your girlfriend,
• 34:59
  Speaker 4: and that he wasn't going to sustain me. Holy shit,
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: you asked for McDonald's. This is crazy. Coughing baby versus
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: nuclear bomb.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 35:16
  Speaker 4: At first, I genuinely thought he was joking, but when
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: I asked if he was serious, he doubled down. By
• 35:23
  Speaker 4: the way, this comes from Scottish Subin.
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: And if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: to the r slash ok story time subreddit. I am Dakota.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: I'm Riley.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: I'm Keon.
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: And we're going to read this here story. We're going
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: to have our thoughts. We might give some advice, but
• 35:38
  Speaker 4: we're kind of goofy. We don't know everything. So take
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: it with a grain of salt.
• 35:42
  Speaker 6: Please take it with a grain of salt. This is
• 35:43
  Speaker 6: not serious.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: And put whatever you're thinking about everything. Put it in
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: the comments.
• 35:49
  Speaker 6: Yes, I want to hear your thoughts right now.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: I want your exact joke coordinates in the comments. N.O.P.
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: Says, I told him I wasn't asking him to support
• 35:59
  Speaker 4: me and that sending your unemployed girlfriend a McDonald's meal
• 36:02
  Speaker 4: one time isn't the same thing as financially supporting her.
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: The conversation turned into an argument because he felt my
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: joke was inappropriate while I felt hurt by the way
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: he reacted. What bothered me most wasn't that he didn't
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: want to buy me food. It was that he reacted
• 36:18
  Speaker 4: as though I was trying to take advantage of him
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: or use him for money when I've.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: Never given him a reason to think that. He pointed
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: out that I had.
• 36:27
  Speaker 4: Literally called him a sugar daddy and I got frustrated.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: So this is where I may have crossed a line.
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: I replied that he doesn't work either right now and
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: is financially supported by his father.
• 36:41
  Speaker 5: Oh!
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: So I wouldn't exactly be asking him to be a
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: sugar daddy because it isn't even his money.
• 36:49
  Speaker 6: I'm just looking.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: For a sugar granddaddy. Y'all are broken up now. That's
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: a breakup sentence. He broke, you broke, y'all broken up.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: And I think it's for the best. I think y'all
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: should break up. This is crazy. He got extremely angry
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: after that and stopped talking to me entirely.
• 37:06
  Speaker 6: Uh-oh, pedophile.
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I know that comment was harsh and I said
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: it out of frustration after feeling insulted. But I also
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: feel like his reaction to a joke was unnecessarily hostile
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: and made me feel like he viewed me as some
• 37:18
  Speaker 4: kind of gold digger. How can I approach a conversation
• 37:21
  Speaker 4: about this when the issue is no longer the McDonald's
• 37:24
  Speaker 4: but the fact that I felt judged and he felt disrespected?
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: And there is an update.
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: Well.
• 37:31
  Speaker 8: When it comes, when a lady and a guy get together,
• 37:35
  Speaker 8: it's important that the lady feels loved and the guy
• 37:38
  Speaker 8: feels respected.
• 37:40
  Speaker 6: That's what I learned through.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I like that. Has anyone given you the advice
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: to give up? I would give up. I would say,
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: you know what?
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: I think this was a perfect example of why we
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: shouldn't be dating right now.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: And I think we're better off without each other. Sorry, dude.
• 37:58
  Speaker 6: You know what 50 cents one said?
• 38:00
  Speaker 4: Many men.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: Close.
• 38:02
  Speaker 8: He said, if something falls on the ground, it breaks
• 38:03
  Speaker 8: into a million pieces. Leave it on the ground in
• 38:06
  Speaker 8: a million pieces.
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: Walk away. There's an update.
• 38:09
  Speaker 6: Uh-oh, they break up.
• 38:12
  Speaker 4: My boyfriend found my previous post and texted me about it. Oh,
• 38:16
  Speaker 4: my God.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: You guys are so petty.
• 38:17
  Speaker 6: Were you guys in high school?
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: He started by asking if I had posted this on Reddit.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: I said, yeah.
• 38:26
  Speaker 4: He said he couldn't believe me and asked, what was
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: wrong with me? I told him to say whatever he
• 38:31
  Speaker 4: wanted to say. He asked who bought me McDonald's afterwards.
• 38:34
  Speaker 4: I asked if it mattered and he said I should
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: tell him and then asked whether it was a guy.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: I told him it was Nina.
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: He said it was unbelievable that I wanted him to
• 38:43
  Speaker 4: be the villain and me the victim so badly. I
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: said I didn't know this was a villain victim thing.
• 38:49
  Speaker 4: He said I posted because I wanted validation and I
• 38:52
  Speaker 4: just said okay.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: I mean a little bit.
• 38:55
  Speaker 6: That's what people go to Reddit for.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And that's okay.
• 38:59
  Speaker 6: You kind of need to know, am I in the
• 39:00
  Speaker 6: right place?
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: And I would.
• 39:02
  Speaker 4: Validate you that, yeah, it was so out of pocket
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: for him to say that that way. And then it
• 39:08
  Speaker 4: was also real out of pocket for you to be like, yeah,
• 39:11
  Speaker 4: also unemployed.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: That's your daddy's money, little broke boy.
• 39:14
  Speaker 8: You guys should have said this so long ago. Not
• 39:17
  Speaker 8: when the emotions were fiery.
• 39:20
  Speaker 4: He pushed back, asking what I meant by okay and
• 39:24
  Speaker 4: whether I really had nothing to say. I told him
• 39:27
  Speaker 4: that anything at this point would make him act like this.
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: like always.
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: He asked why I only posted my side.
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: I said I had posted the transcript and told him
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: he was welcome to post his side if he was
• 39:36
  Speaker 4: that concerned. He refused, saying I knew people were starting
• 39:40
  Speaker 4: to see through my BS. I asked what BS and
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: whether I had ever asked him for money. He said
• 39:45
  Speaker 4: that wasn't the point, that I was deflecting because I
• 39:48
  Speaker 4: had asked him to be my sugar daddy and was
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: now telling people he's the broke one since I'm the
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: one who doesn't even have money to order McDonald's.
• 39:57
  Speaker 6: Dude, you get an allowance from your daddy.
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: Come on, guys. Just break up, call it quits. What
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: are we doing?
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: Is OP wrong?
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: Give up. You're both broke and unemployed. Give up. And
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: it's long distance. Give up. Start over.
• 40:11
  Speaker 4: I told him that wasn't what I said and that
• 40:13
  Speaker 4: it was a mean thing to say, that he knows
• 40:15
  Speaker 4: I have money to buy McDonald's and that I would
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: never ask him for money because I never did. He
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: said he was sure it had nothing to do with
• 40:23
  Speaker 4: the way I wrote the post, summing it up as
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: poor unemployed girlfriend, evil a-hole boyfriend.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: I said I never said that.
• 40:31
  Speaker 4: He told me I didn't have to, that I got
• 40:33
  Speaker 4: hundreds of strangers to say it for me. I said
• 40:36
  Speaker 4: I wanted people to tell me if I was overreacting.
• 40:39
  Speaker 4: He said I was. I didn't have to go on
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: Reddit to reach that conclusion. And that now I got
• 40:45
  Speaker 4: exactly what I wanted, a bunch of random losers telling
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: me to leave him. I told him he wasn't even
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: listening to why I was hurt. He said there was
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: nothing to listen to, that he made one comment and
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: I turned it into a Reddit post and asked who
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: the real problem was, calling me a crazy attention seeker.
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: I told him to excuse me, asked if he was
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: out of his mind and told him to pick up
• 41:07
  Speaker 4: the phone. He told me to F off and not
• 41:09
  Speaker 4: call him, saying I'm impossible to talk to. So yeah,
• 41:11
  Speaker 4: that was the conversation.
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: Congrats on being single, right?
• 41:15
  Speaker 9: Right?
• 41:16
  Speaker 8: I'm exhausted.
• 41:17
  Speaker 7: Right?
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: Congrats on being single? That sounds so high school. Oh yeah,
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: they are. They don't have jobs.
• 41:24
  Speaker 4: At this point, I honestly don't even know what else
• 41:26
  Speaker 4: there is to say. When I made my original post,
• 41:29
  Speaker 4: I was genuinely questioning myself. I kept wondering if maybe
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: I was overreacting. Maybe I was being unfair.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: Because every single time we have a disagreement, somehow I
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: end up being the problem.
• 41:40
  Speaker 10: Oh my god, there's a pattern? There's a pattern? She's
• 41:43
  Speaker 10: always the problem? Maybe you should remove yourself. I really,
• 41:46
  Speaker 10: I don't, I don't, I can't tell you who would skew.
• 41:50
  Speaker 10: You both are extremely problematic in this conversation.
• 41:54
  Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, I concur.
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: It's just, just be done.
• 41:58
  Speaker 4: Be gone.
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: Be gone from me! I'm the one who's dramatic. I'm
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: the one who's playing the victim. I'm the one who's
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: misunderstanding things.
• 42:08
  Speaker 4: And after hearing that enough times, you start wondering if
• 42:11
  Speaker 4: it's true, right? The funny thing is that even after
• 42:15
  Speaker 4: finding the post, he still never really addressed why I
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: was hurt in the first place. Not once did he
• 42:20
  Speaker 4: stop and ask why his comments upset me. Instead, somehow,
• 42:24
  Speaker 4: we ended up right back where we always do, discussing
• 42:27
  Speaker 4: what's wrong with me.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: And the fact that I'm apparently an attention seeker. Yeah,
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: and if you're unemployed, seek out a job.
• 42:34
  Speaker 8: You're so young that whatever job experience you get, you
• 42:37
  Speaker 8: should get it fast because you need at least five
• 42:39
  Speaker 8: years of whatever you're doing to get a job anywhere.
• 42:43
  Speaker 4: The biggest thing with unemployment I've seen is when you
• 42:46
  Speaker 4: live in an employment desert, basically.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: It's just really rural communities sometimes.
• 42:53
  Speaker 4: Just people out there without access to a reasonable job.
• 42:57
  Speaker 6: Oh, yeah, like on an island?
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: Or, I mean.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: Like the middle of Kentucky or something.
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: But yeah, the solution to that is sometimes you got
• 43:08
  Speaker 4: to figure out how to get to a place that's
• 43:09
  Speaker 4: got work, man. And then it's, yeah, it's a horrible calculus. Anyway,
• 43:15
  Speaker 4: you guys clearly need to be so done with each other.
• 43:19
  Speaker 4: You guys are done with each other. You guys have
• 43:20
  Speaker 4: broken up in this conversation.
• 43:22
  Speaker 6: Yeah, there's things out there, guys.
• 43:24
  Speaker 8: Don't worry.
• 43:25
  Speaker 4: I think I've reached my conclusion. I don't want to
• 43:28
  Speaker 4: be in this relationship anymore.
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: It's great because you're not.
• 43:31
  Speaker 4: Ironically, he won't answer my calls right now, so if
• 43:34
  Speaker 4: he ends up reading this update the same way he
• 43:36
  Speaker 4: found the original.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: Post, then I guess this is how he finds out
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: he's single.
• 43:40
  Speaker 4: For everyone reading this, what would you do in my position?
• 43:43
  Speaker 4: Would you still try to have one final conversation and
• 43:45
  Speaker 4: get closure? Or would you just accept that the relationship
• 43:47
  Speaker 4: has run its course and walk away? That second part, probably.
• 43:51
  Speaker 6: Yeah, closure is super situational.
• 43:55
  Speaker 8: I didn't get closure in my last relationship until I
• 43:57
  Speaker 8: moved to L.A., And that had nothing to do with
• 44:00
  Speaker 8: my relationship.
• 44:00
  Speaker 6: But, you know, inside of me, it was like, I
• 44:03
  Speaker 6: physically moved. I made this happen. I have a baller job.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: And I love what I do. Look at you now.
• 44:07
  Speaker 6: Dude, I'm actually living my best life, for real.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: the next one.
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: My boss expected me to train my replacement unpaid.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: So I left.
• 44:18
  Speaker 5: I'm not doing that.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: I just finished my final year of grad school, master's
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: in English. And I decided to do an internship instead
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: of a second class this past semester to switch things
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: up a bit. I found an unpaid internship that I
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: could complete for class credit with a local magazine. The
• 44:32
  Speaker 2: magazine required 20 hours a week, which was much more
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: than I needed for class credit, but it was a
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: great experience. My internship took place within a smaller division
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: of the main magazine company, so there was only a
• 44:44
  Speaker 2: head editor, an assistant editor, myself, and one other intern
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: on the editorial side of things. About two weeks into
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: my internship, the assistant editor moved to a different position
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: in the company, and two weeks after that, the second
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: intern quit. That left me doing the work of the
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: assistant editor and two interns. Remember, this was an unpaid position,
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: but was getting class credit, and I mostly enjoyed the work,
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: so I didn't mind. The head editor even suggested I
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: could take over the assistant editor position upon graduation. By
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: the way, this comes from user deleted, and if you
• 45:15
  Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to dr slash
• 45:16
  Speaker 2: okstorytime subreddit. I'm Keon.
• 45:18
  Speaker 5: I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: And we're here to.
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: Give good advice goofily. We don't have all the answers,
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: we only know what we'd do, so let's know what
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: you'd do in the comments down below. Pretty please. As
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: Obi says, it soon became clear that the assistant editor
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: position would only be part-time. I was of course hoping
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: for a full-time job after graduation, and I expressed this
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: to the head editor. She said she would work with
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: the company's owner to figure something out. Two months and
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: one meeting with the owner later, I was still being
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: strung along. So I started applying for other positions just
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: in case. On Friday evening, I was offered a full-time
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: position with another company. It pays well and has great benefits,
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: and I would be crazy to pass it up. My
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: classes ended last week, and my internship is only supposed
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: to last until May. At this time, I'm writing this
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: tomorrow is May 1st. So I figured I would finish
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: up my internship this week. Come this past Monday morning,
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: I informed the head editor about the offer and that
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: they want me to start next Monday. So in a week,
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: She requested that I give her two and a half
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: weeks notice. Yes, she wants me to continue working for
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: free for two weeks so she can quickly find another
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: intern for me to train, despite the fact that my
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: grades are already in, despite the fact that I have
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: been doing far, far more than an intern ever should
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: do for free for the past four months. Listen, before
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: we continue reading, you don't owe them this. Like, they
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: gave you a great experience. You got it. You've been
• 46:43
  Speaker 2: doing above and beyond work. You can just say, No,
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: I start my job next week. Unfortunately, that's the way
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: it is.
• 46:51
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: Things will never be the same.
• 46:54
  Speaker 5: I know. I would, like, the thing is, I, me
• 46:57
  Speaker 5: with the backbone that I don't have, I would be like, yeah,
• 47:00
  Speaker 5: I can do that. And then I would work those
• 47:02
  Speaker 5: two weeks.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I could do that. Give me another thing to do.
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: Let me do five jobs.
• 47:06
  Speaker 5: And I'd be like, okay, bye.
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: Opie continues saying, I'm honestly astounded and not even sure
• 47:12
  Speaker 2: what to do, but I also can't help but laugh.
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: We have some comments. Comment number one, just go to
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: the new job. What's she going to do? Refuse to
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: pay you nothing for not working a notice period? Opie says, right?
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: I just don't want to burn any bridges, but I
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: feel like one week's notice for an internship that is
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: technically supposed to end this week anyway is more than enough.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: I guess she just assumed I'd be taking whatever position
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: they offered me whenever they decided to do that and
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: would be happy to work for free until then. Opie
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: continues saying, I actually really liked her a lot before
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: this week. It's part of the reason I wanted to
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: give notice in the first place. I don't think the
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: lack of job offer is entirely her fault. She had
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: to get approval from the owner, and he lives across
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: the country and only flies into the office once a month,
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: so that really slowed things down. But still, she could
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: have found a replacement for me at any time. Comment
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: number two. By the way, you write beautifully. At law firm,
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: I may ask what you'll be doing? Obi says, thank
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: you so much. It's a legal writing position, actually. Without
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: giving too much detail... I'll basically be compiling information on
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: our clients and summarizing or translating it into language understandable
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: to non-lawyers. Then the attorneys use that summary while trying
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: to settle cases and trials, etc. It's really fascinating work,
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: and I'm excited. I was a paralegal for a year
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: fresh out of college and enjoyed the writing aspect, but
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: there was so much else to do that I didn't
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: get to enjoy it. So I'm excited that this job
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: will be strictly writing. And we have an update. Again,
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: this job wasn't paying you. You're an intern working four jobs.
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: You are an adult. You got what you needed, plus
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: more experience, I would assume. I don't think you're burning
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: a bridge here. You just tell her, hey, I start
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: my job next week, and I didn't know it was
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: going to happen that quick. Sorry, I can't help you out. Facts.
• 48:59
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's... I don't... Yeah. You don't owe them anything,
• 49:05
  Speaker 5: and it's not... Again, what are they going to do?
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: Fire you?
• 49:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you are... You already have another place lined up,
• 49:14
  Speaker 5: so that, you know, I don't know.
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: Kim Roberts says, have they entered your credit yet? Yeah,
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: the credits entered LP's got everything done yeah she.
• 49:21
  Speaker 5: Said classes are done like grades are final.
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: Got the hours at everything so yeah.
• 49:25
  Speaker 5: Everything's good she literally is just like no you need
• 49:28
  Speaker 5: two weeks.
• 49:28
  Speaker 2: If anything this could be just a nice week off
• 49:30
  Speaker 2: for you yeah yeah you could say I can probably
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: put out some feelers for anyone else out there but
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: I don't work here anymore yeah good luck best of
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: luck We have an update. Just for clarification, I have,
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: of course, already accepted the other job and will be
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: starting Monday. My internship supervisor wants to chat this morning
• 49:49
  Speaker 2: about the transition. So I'll update you all again afterwards.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: Update two.
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: Thanks to all your kind words and encouragement, I did
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: that whole scary standing up for myself thing. I will
• 50:00
  Speaker 2: be here through the end of the week as I
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: told her I would on Monday.
• 50:04
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: You follow up in your word.
• 50:06
  Speaker 5: Good job.
• 50:07
  Speaker 2: After that, if they need my help, It will come hourly,
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: with a fee, and outside of my new regular job hours.
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: I've also factually informed my advisor at my school of
• 50:15
  Speaker 2: the situation, so he can do with that information what
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: he may when it comes to advising other students on
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: interning here. Update 3. Lol, she just sent out an
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: office-wide email telling everyone my last day in the office
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: is Monday.
• 50:29
  Speaker 5: It is not.
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: Pray for me, y'all.
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: Don't show up!
• 50:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, what?
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: You don't owe them anything!
• 50:36
  Speaker 5: Why would she send out a vast thing?
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: I would reply.
• 50:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I would reply all and be like, actually, I
• 50:42
  Speaker 5: just left the office and said it's this day. So
• 50:45
  Speaker 5: that's wrong.
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would literally reply to that email. I'm like, uh, no,
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: but good luck. So she's just going to try and
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: use her power over you, which again, she has no
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: power over you anymore. You have another job. I think
• 51:00
  Speaker 2: it would be just don't do it. What is she
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: going to do again? Yell at you? Fire you? Oh, no.
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: She has nobody else.
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, no.
• 51:11
  Speaker 5: I have to go start my other job.
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: I think you just keep it on paper. Say, okay,
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: I start my other job Monday. That's that. Best of luck.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: So you have it on paper. So she can't really
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: like you.
• 51:24
  Speaker 5: I would just reply all and say no.
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: To two emails.
• 51:28
  Speaker 5: Wrong.
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: Two emails. N. O. That's the end of that story.
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: We have another one coming right up. My boss called
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: me selfish for not celebrating him, so I called out
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: his hypocrisy.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: I would too.
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: We work in hospitality. There are only six staff. It's
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: fallen onto my shoulders to organize things like birthday cards, retirements, etc.
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: We usually do a collection from staff and our regular customers,
• 51:52
  Speaker 2: buy a card, flowers, and a gift. I don't mind
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: doing it. I like surprising people with a presentation of
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: gifts and that stuff. We don't do this for every birthday,
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: just the big ones. In the last couple of years,
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: we've had a staff member turn 60, one turn 30,
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: and two retirements. We've always made a big fuss. I
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: turned 40 last year. I took a week off to
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: go away for a few days with family and then
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: returned to work. My boss casually strolled past me and said,
• 52:17
  Speaker 2: don't expect any cards or anything. We haven't done anything
• 52:20
  Speaker 2: for you. I hadn't been expecting the effort I normally
• 52:23
  Speaker 2: go to, but I did expect a card from them all.
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: I spoke to my coworkers about what my boss had said.
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: mainly because I thought it was really callous and cold.
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: We all get along really well, and we're good friends,
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: so it was a bit of a surprise. By the way,
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: this comes from user HattieSock, and if you want to
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: I'm Keon.
• 52:43
  Speaker 5: I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: And we're here to give good advice goofily. We don't
• 52:47
  Speaker 2: know everything, unfortunately. We only know what we'd do, so
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: let us know what you do in the comments down below.
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: Pretty please. As Opie says. The most senior of my coworkers,
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: female 61, told me that she doesn't know how to
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: organize a card or a collection because that's my department.
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: So she didn't do anything. I told her the least
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: I expected was a card from everyone. And she said,
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: I'm no good at stuff like that. And that I'm
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: the one who usually does that stuff. So it's unfortunate.
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: I say, you're not getting a card ever again.
• 53:14
  Speaker 5: I say it's unfortunate that I just actually forgot that
• 53:17
  Speaker 5: I don't know how to do any of this.
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: I'm going to show you right now.
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: Piece of paper.
• 53:21
  Speaker 2: Fold.
• 53:22
  Speaker 1: Happy birthday. Everyone sign.
• 53:24
  Speaker 5: Hamburger, not hot dog.
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: What if it is a hot dog?
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: Then you go, oh, wait, maybe she does it.
• 53:30
  Speaker 5: No, if she did a hot dog, I'd be like,
• 53:33
  Speaker 5: oh my God, put this lady down.
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: So she blamed my boss and said he should have
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: done it. When I asked my boss why he hadn't
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: done anything for me, he said it's my co-worker's responsibility
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: to organize something. He said he did think it was
• 53:47
  Speaker 2: weird that they forgot, but said he's not there to
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: remind them. Fast forward to this year. He tells me
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: he's taking a month for his 50th later in the year,
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: and then that when he comes back, he expects to
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: come back to a massive fuss. He's expecting a huge
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: collection because he's the boss, so our customers should ship
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: in lots for him. I told him I'm not having
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: anything to do with organizing anything for him. Nobody made
• 54:10
  Speaker 2: an effort for me, so I'm not making an effort
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: for anyone else's anymore. He said it's about giving and
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: not taking, and that I'm being selfish and that he'll
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: be furious if nothing happens. I told him he'll be
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: furious then. He said, I shouldn't do things for other
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: people because I expect things in return. I told him
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: it was selfish of him to expect people to make
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: an effort to celebrate him when he does nothing for
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: other people. Petty?
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: Reasonable? Also yes.
• 54:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 54:37
  Speaker 5: I mean, me personally, I wouldn't do it, but I
• 54:39
  Speaker 5: would just be like, guys, no one did anything for me,
• 54:42
  Speaker 5: but okay, whatever. I guess I'll just do a bunch
• 54:45
  Speaker 5: for you guys and nothing in return.
• 54:46
  Speaker 2: It just goes to show, yeah, it shows that Because
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: of you, you are the party committee, I guess you
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: can say.
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: No way.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: No one else in the office.
• 54:55
  Speaker 5: No one has ever written a card.
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: Has ever written a card or said like, hey, we
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: should probably do something for OP. Does anyone here know
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: how to write a card or know how to do
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: any of this?
• 55:04
  Speaker 5: Does anyone know how to do basic human stuff? I
• 55:08
  Speaker 5: don't know how to do basic human stuff.
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: Has anyone here ever celebrated a birthday before in the office?
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: That's OP's job.
• 55:14
  Speaker 5: I'm pretty sure I learned how to make a card
• 55:15
  Speaker 5: in like kindergarten.
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: First grade at least.
• 55:18
  Speaker 5: Yeah. I learned the hamburger hot dog method. And guess what?
• 55:21
  Speaker 5: I wrote my parents pages. So come on. No excuse here.
• 55:26
  Speaker 2: And he also has the thing when you come to
• 55:28
  Speaker 2: the office after you celebrate your birthday, and he goes,
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: don't expect anything. Don't expect anything.
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: You weren't missed.
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: You weren't loved. We knew, but he didn't say anything.
• 55:41
  Speaker 5: I'd be like, don't expect me to like you.
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: Sorry, my job doesn't say I have to celebrate your birthdays.
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: I just do it for fun. I wasn't hired to
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: be the birthday, you know, committee.
• 55:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah, they just, they work in hospitality, so be hospitable.
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: Let's go ahead and finish up the story. Obi continues saying,
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: I told him that it wasn't about them not doing
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: anything for me. I wouldn't have brought it up if
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: he hadn't pulled me aside and told me that none
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: of them had bothered. It's not like they forgot. They
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: just chose to do nothing. He just keeps saying it's
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: about giving and not receiving. Okay, buddy. You should practice
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: what you preach. I told him it's a bizarre thing
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: to say by someone who never gives but always receives.
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: He reminds me on a weekly basis of the stuff
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: he wants. I keep telling him to speak to someone else.
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: He thinks it's my job to remind someone else to
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: do it. He thinks I'm just pretending I'm not doing anything.
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: We have an update. I didn't realize I hadn't come
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: back to update you guys. My boss came back from
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: the holiday to find a folder on his desk. It
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: basically outlined the different ways he's been stealing from the company.
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: Happy birthday.
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: You got something.
• 56:46
  Speaker 5: Oh, my God. No.
• 56:50
  Speaker 4: What?
• 56:51
  Speaker 5: What a turn of events.
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: I love it. I love it. Oh, the guy who
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: says you should be giving. It's about giving when this
• 57:00
  Speaker 2: guy's been stealing.
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: Dang.
• 57:02
  Speaker 5: No wonder he got so defensive. He's like, everyone needs
• 57:04
  Speaker 5: to do things for me.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: I love it. Opie continues saying, nobody knows who put
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: it there. He left shortly after and never mentioned his
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: birthday again. Well, great.
• 57:15
  Speaker 5: I guess that's that.
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: Great.
• 57:18
  Speaker 5: That was just a crazy revelation. I was not like
• 57:22
  Speaker 5: I was just expecting him to just come home to nothing.
• 57:25
  Speaker 5: But he came home to like, by the way, we've
• 57:28
  Speaker 5: been stealing from the company.
• 57:29
  Speaker 4: Dang.
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: Dang.
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: How hospitable of him. That is, you know, that story.
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: And we have another one coming right up. Hey, Keon here.
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: We're going to get back to the stories. But here's
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: three minutes of ads from our sponsors.
• 57:42
  Speaker 5: I left work early to be safe from the heat,
• 57:45
  Speaker 5: but my boss demands me back.
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: That's not cool.
• 57:49
  Speaker 5: So I, 18 male, am currently interning at a very
• 57:53
  Speaker 5: prestigious nursery in the Midwest. It's a really big deal
• 57:56
  Speaker 5: for me because the company has government connections, and having
• 57:59
  Speaker 5: this on my resume basically guarantees me future job opportunities.
• 58:03
  Speaker 5: But here's the issue. My boss, let's call Mark, has
• 58:07
  Speaker 5: been out of town on vacation for the past week. Normally,
• 58:10
  Speaker 5: he's the one who works alongside me and checks in.
• 58:13
  Speaker 5: But because he is gone, his boss, Wilma, who works
• 58:17
  Speaker 5: out of a completely different office across the state from
• 58:20
  Speaker 5: where I'm stationed, has been supervising me remotely using the
• 58:24
  Speaker 5: security cameras in the greenhouses. The greenhouse I work in
• 58:28
  Speaker 5: is about a mile away from mine and my boss's, oh,
• 58:31
  Speaker 5: office building. And since Mark is gone, I haven't had
• 58:34
  Speaker 5: access to the air-conditioned office at all. I've been stuck
• 58:37
  Speaker 5: at the greenhouses the entire time in the heat. Now,
• 58:40
  Speaker 5: the weather has been brutal lately, with highs around 100
• 58:44
  Speaker 5: to 105 degrees Fahrenheit. By the way, this comes from
• 58:48
  Speaker 5: External Welder, and if you want to submit your own stories,
• 58:50
  Speaker 5: go to the r slash ok story time subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 58:53
  Speaker 2: I'm Keon.
• 58:54
  Speaker 5: I'm Sophia. And we're here to give some good advice goofily,
• 58:57
  Speaker 5: but we don't have all the answers. We only tell
• 58:58
  Speaker 5: you what we would do in this situation. But let
• 59:00
  Speaker 5: us know what you would do down in the comments.
• 59:02
  Speaker 5: As Opie says, inside the greenhouse, it's even worse. Well, yes,
• 59:07
  Speaker 5: there's no fan, no AC and barely any ventilation. The
• 59:10
  Speaker 5: only way I can cool it down is by opening
• 59:13
  Speaker 5: the roll-up walls about three feet, but that doesn't do much.
• 59:18
  Speaker 5: Even with shade cloth, the temperature inside reached over 130
• 59:22
  Speaker 5: degrees today. I was working in those conditions for six
• 59:28
  Speaker 5: hours straight before I started feeling lightheaded and got a headache.
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's called heat stroke.
• 59:33
  Speaker 5: Since I couldn't call off and had nowhere to rest, again,
• 59:36
  Speaker 5: I had no access to the office, I made the
• 59:38
  Speaker 5: decision to leave about two hours early. I didn't notify
• 59:42
  Speaker 5: Wilma because I knew she'd be upset and I don't
• 59:44
  Speaker 5: have any sick leave to use anyway.
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: I don't know if that's the right decision, my friend.
• 59:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah, you definitely could have said something and just, like, leave.
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: And commenters are saying this is what OSHA's for.
• 59:58
  Speaker 5: About 30 minutes after I got home, Wilma checked the
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 5: security cameras, saw I was gone, and called me. She
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 5: asked where I was and I told her I had
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 5: gone home because I wasn't going to keep working in
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 5: a greenhouse that was 130 degrees. She told me that
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 5: if I didn't return immediately and finish out the day,
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 5: I'd be suspended with no pay for a week.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: Again, OSHA, I'm getting someone involved because I'm not working
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: in a greenhouse that's 130 degrees Fahrenheit and I'm sweating
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: my butt off and probably going to pass out.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 6: I don't know.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: Are you the only one doing this?
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: I guess. Which is insane.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 5: Problem is, I live about 30 minutes away and can't
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 5: work past 5 p.m. It was already 4.30 p.m. so
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 5: there wouldn't have been enough time to drive back and
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 5: get anything done. So here's where I might be the butt.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 5: I told her that even if I could make it
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 5: back in, I wouldn't go back in because it was
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 5: just too hot there, and that if she wants me
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 5: to make sure the plants in there are fine, she
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 5: should come out of her nice AC'd office and try
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 5: working in there when it is as hot as it is.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 5: She then told me her intern isn't having any problem
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 5: with the heat. She only has one greenhouse to take
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 5: care of and it actually has ventilation unlike the six
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 5: I have to take care of. So I just gave
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 5: up on the conversation, said I was sorry, and hung up.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 5: So now I might be suspended and I'm worried it'll
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 5: ruin my reputation at this company. I get that I
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 5: probably should have told someone, but I also think I
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 5: shouldn't be expected to work in dangerous conditions with no
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 5: break and no access to AC. That is true. True,
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 5: but But also, you should definitely tell your boss.
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: You need to cover your tracks.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 5: If I were to just leave right now and not
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 5: say anything to Riley, he'd be like, where did you go?
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 5: And I'd be like, well, home. It was hot. He'd
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 5: be like, actually, we need you back here.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 1: And I'd be like, fine, whatever.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 5: I'm on my way. So am I the a-hole for
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 5: going home early without telling my boss?
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 1: They're your boss.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 2: You need to communicate. And you need to cover your
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: tracks on why you left.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: You just saying, it's hot, and I'm going to go.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: I get it.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 5: You can do that.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 9: Even if she had said no, as long as you
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 9: had messaged her and said, I'm leaving, this is unsafe
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 9: working conditions.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm going to pass out. Yeah.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 9: As long as you had communicated that, that's covering your tracks.
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: And maybe take a picture. But again, I think OP's 18.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: So obviously, this is probably OP's first time really doing
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 2: something like this. And they want to be like, I
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: don't know. If you want to be really good, you
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 2: would communicate through and through and everything.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, Jaylee Thompson says working six hours without a break
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 5: is also illegal. That is true. You cannot do that.
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 5: So yeah, I mean, you could get him on that.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 2: I would call your other boss. You know, Wilma's not your,
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: Wilma's the placement boss. Call your other boss and be like, hey,
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: so this is happening. I know I didn't do this
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: and this was unprofessional, but I just couldn't do it anymore.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 5: But like, I can't breathe.
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 5: There is an edit to add more context. In my contract,
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 5: it does state that I cannot work in conditions above
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 5: 115 degrees. There are some comments. Comment number one says,
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 5: OP should have called Wilma long before he left, as
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 5: Wilma could have remedied the situation by temporarily giving OP
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 5: a key or by just unlocking the office. OP responds,
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 5: the problem is Wilma is in an office three and
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 5: a half hours away from where I was working. So
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 5: even if I would have called or texted, which I
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 5: couldn't because I don't have her number or email in
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 5: case of emergency, I was to speak to her through
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 5: the cameras using their call feature. She still wouldn't have
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 5: been able to give me access to AC on the
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 5: job site.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: Is that you telling us or assuming? Because I don't know.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 2: I never got that thing of you telling her outright, hey,
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: it's 130 degrees right now. I'm melting. I'm going to
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 2: pass out. I'm either A, going to leave or B,
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 2: open up the store. Why is this store, this entire
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 2: greenhouse solely you running it? What's going on? There's got
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: to be more people here. Where are the other people?
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 5: Comment number two says, my question is, why do you
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 5: have greenhouses that have no air circulation? Most plants would
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 5: pass away at 130 degrees. Were they tree saplings? OP responds,
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 5: they are tree saplings and drought resistant perennials meant to
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 5: be used in the rebuilding of windbreaks. The air circulation
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 5: was definitely not a thought on the architect's mind who
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 5: made the plans. And that's why we have misters that
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 5: run every 20 minutes in 30 second spurts during days
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 5: over 90. Comment number four says, I've worked in really
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 5: hot greenhouses many times, but not 130 degrees. That really sucks.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 5: I really feel bad for you. It's easy to make
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 5: bad choices when your brain is being baked. Comment number
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 5: three says, so why didn't they provide training for OP
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 5: on the procedures for managing heat? OP responds, the only
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 5: training I had when I started was the mandatory spicy-related
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 5: intimidation training.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: So, okay. Nobody else works there?
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: You can't do anything spicy-related.
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: To any of the plants.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 1: Or you're going to get fired.
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 5: You cannot F these plants.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 2: Do not F that tree trunk.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 5: Stay away from the perennials and the saplings.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: It's their own sap, not yours.
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 5: I was picked personally by the company because of my
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 5: work in other greenhouses and landscape projects throughout high school.
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 5: I should have known better, but I just wasn't expecting
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 5: the heat to jump. The other greenhouses I've worked at
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 5: never got above 105 degrees ever. Additional details from comments.
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 5: OP responds, of course it wasn't 130 degrees the whole time.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 5: As most people would understand, it is colder in the
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 5: morning and hotter in the afternoon. Clearly, throughout the day,
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 5: the greenhouse's temp would rise. When I first got there,
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 5: it was probably about 90 degrees. OP responds, I won't
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 5: argue with you that I should have waited, but it's
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 5: hard to catch your breath when even when you go outside,
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 5: it's still 105 degrees. And worse, there is no shade
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 5: because you are in the middle of a prairie.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 2: Dang. So this is your moment to shine and be like, hey,
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 2: big thing we're going to do here. We got to
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: do some changes because this is not working for me
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 2: or for anyone who works in the future here. And
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 2: they're going to pretty much, they would like that for
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 2: you to speak out and be like, we need changes
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: here because you can't work in this environment. No one can.
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 2: It's impossible. I think you need to tell people Wilma, obviously,
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 2: but you also need to talk to someone higher up
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 2: because this just sounds stupid.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I would send an email to Wilma and also Cece,
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 5: your boss in there, and just be like, hey, so
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 5: I left early today. I did get scrutinized for it,
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 5: but I did want to say that I cannot work
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 5: in these conditions. This is dangerous for anyone, not just me.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 1: And it also says in the contract.
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and it also said in the contract I can't
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 5: work above 150 degrees, and it was 130. Not the
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 5: entire time, obviously, but at one point it was that.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 5: I can't do that. No one can do that. Unless you, like,
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 5: would you rather have, like, me leave or have, like, a.
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 5: I mean, like, I.
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: Like, what else?
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 2: It says in the contract that you actually have to
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 2: pass away.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: Your life... If you don't pass away, we're not taking
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: this serious. You sign the contract. You commit to the bid.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 5: Opie responds, we don't have a normal office set up.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 5: Usually during the summer, I would do four hours of
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 5: greenhouse work and then four hours of office work. But
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 5: I'm not allowed to have a key to the office
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 5: because there are important documents in there. But right now,
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 5: I'm expected to do the work of three people by
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 5: working eight hours in the greenhouse. What?
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 2: This all sounds so illegal and stupid.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 1: You mean to tell me you're the only one there?
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 5: You're the only one there. You don't have a key
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 5: to the office. They have security cameras watching you. So
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 5: you do your job.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 2: And you're 18 years old. You're like an 18 year old.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 2: This is, this makes.
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 1: Zero sense to me.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 5: This doesn't make any sense.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 2: This doesn't sound legal.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 5: I mean, I hope you just talk to your boss
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 5: and Wilma and just be like, hey, can't work in
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 5: these conditions, so.
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we need to fix that quickly.
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 5: There has to be something that they can do because
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 5: that's just, it's not just you, it's like for anyone. Like, oh, yeah, also,
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 5: Sofa King, I agree. Take pictures of the thermostat and
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 5: be like, I can't work like this. This is above 115.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 5: Do you see?
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 2: Pull a Fred Flintstone and yell Wilma.
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 5: Oh, I thought you were going to say yell yabba-dabba-doo.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 2: That too.
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 5: And then get out of there.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 2: And then slide down your dinosaur's tail.
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 5: And then run in your car. I am cleared of
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 5: all trouble by HR and my boss, who was not
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 5: happy to be called into an emergency Zoom meeting. I
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 5: sent an email, an image of the thermostat, and was
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 5: swiftly contacted by HR for a meeting. As my contract
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 5: had not been upheld by Wilma, mainly the temp part,
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 5: I am now under the watch of a different manager
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 5: who is closer to where I am working, and I
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 5: will have one other employee with me until the end
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 5: of the next week when my boss returns. Thanks for
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 5: all the comments you guys left. A lot of them
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 5: helped open my eyes to the fact I truly walked
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 5: out on my job. I hadn't thought about that before,
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 5: but the comments really brought it to the forefront of
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 5: my mind. Yeah, you don't want to walk out on
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 5: your job because you really want this job and you
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 5: enjoy it, I think.
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, truly.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 5: And you don't want them to get a bad taste
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 5: in their mouth. I completely understand where you're coming from,
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 5: but also those are not working conditions. You cannot work
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 5: in those conditions.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: At the end of the day, I think it's your
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: original manager's fault for just getting vacation when they hired
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: someone new and no one else is there to help you.
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 2: You're like, I don't know what I'm doing.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: Like, what if in this case or that case? So,
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: that's bad on the managers, on Wilma and your manager
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 2: on just letting you do this without giving you the
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 2: pre-notion of like, what do you do in case this happens?
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 2: Kind of stupid, but good. I think you'll be okay.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 2: And hopefully you get AC.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah, truthfully. But that's the end of that story.