Latest / Flail to the Face: A "Compatible with Mörk Borg" Actual Play Podcast / Season One, Episode 26: Black Antlers Part 1: Frost and Groaning in Tuonela (with Daniel Harila Carlsen)
Transcript
- 0:00Greeting scum and welcome to Flail the Face.
- 0:03I'm Kevin. I'm in in the big boy chair and
- 0:06I don't know why. Somebody go.
- 0:09Oh yeah. It's me.
- 0:10Hello. Hello, I'm Levi.
- 0:13I will be playing a character named Craig Allen, one of the
- 0:16best. I know that guy and I'm Jacob,
- 0:18and I'll be playing a character named Pyro, and not for the
- 0:22reasons you think. I'm Thomas and I'll be playing a
- 0:26character named Kathvin. And I'm Walt and I'll be playing
- 0:29in Knocks Hex. No Knocks Hex.
- 0:31I don't near of those how you say it and I'm not going to get
- 0:33it right. So I'm going to keep going.
- 0:35Which is a class by my good friend Strega, Wolf and and
- 0:38Bear. Oh, and I'm playing the
- 0:40character too. I'm playing Yotna and we'll go
- 0:42into who these characters are after we explain what's going
- 0:46on. Got a note earlier in the mail
- 0:50the from appears to be from Chris and Nate saying they're
- 0:53headed off to Grift to pick up some milk and cigarettes.
- 0:57Be back soon. I've heard that before.
- 1:00So with that, we have somebody jumping in to run their game.
- 1:06You want to introduce yourself. Sure, thanks for having me.
- 1:09I'm Daniel and I wrote The Adventure of Black Antlers,
- 1:12which should be hitting the shelves sometime late this
- 1:16summer. Beautiful with that.
- 1:19Oh, there's something at the bottom of this note here.
- 1:23Hard to read. Oh, Flail.
- 1:53So I want you to imagine this white static noise like a like a
- 2:00like a distorting storm obscuring everything.
- 2:06There is this rumor that staying in well, a very featureless
- 2:12frosty landscape for too long slowly kills your brain.
- 2:17And it's it's clearly, well, as we're talking about these scum
- 2:21in particular, we're kind of like zooming in through this
- 2:26white static Blizzard like they say in Cyborg like ATV channel
- 2:31set to a dead set to a dead station.
- 2:33And who do we see kind of like slowly and miserably dragging
- 2:40their bodies through the frozen frontier?
- 2:42It's miserably cold, by the way. All right, boys.
- 2:46So do we know each other off the bat?
- 2:47Because in my in my head, I assume we just bumped into each
- 2:50other accidentally through this Blizzard.
- 2:52We can't see shit. I don't know you guys.
- 2:54Well, we rolled that group purpose for.
- 2:57Being what the fuck? What was the group purpose That
- 2:59was the? Salty reindeer meat you were.
- 3:01The salty reindeer meat. Yeah, we're trying to figure out
- 3:03why the meat. You were whole.
- 3:04Well, God, something like that. You were hired.
- 3:07That makes sense at at a Tavern Curgus by by a meat merchant
- 3:13who? Well, one of the delicacies he
- 3:15has been selling was that the salted reindeer jerky from a
- 3:22desolate place you've never heard of north of Krgos called
- 3:26Tuanella. The shipment stopped months ago
- 3:30and well, the supply does not meet the demand.
- 3:34It's not much silver involved, but to a scum like you it's a
- 3:38fortune. I had Daniel.
- 3:40I have one question. This.
- 3:41Meat vendor? Does he wear the equivalent or
- 3:44the exact sweatpants? I think he he had like very,
- 3:53very flamboyant salmon leather overalls, OK.
- 3:59That's a good look. I have AI have a golden drool at
- 4:01work. Never trust a chef in
- 4:03sweatpants. So just making sure, see if he's
- 4:06trusts. Me picture like like alligator
- 4:08leather but it's like salmon. God damn all.
- 4:11Right. But overalls, they're kind of
- 4:13like suspenders, so you know they're.
- 4:14They're suspenders cause and I respect this man.
- 4:20What is Gray shine I think we're supposed to be describing?
- 4:24Yeah. Just tell me how you're, how
- 4:26you're suffering through that, through that, like you're not
- 4:29sure if you went the wrong or the right direction or not as
- 4:32you've been, you've been travelling for what could have
- 4:35been hours or or days that the tundra is starting to to get to
- 4:41you. Well, the first guy you kind of
- 4:43see, I guess, would be Pyro, because he's asking all these
- 4:46questions here, talking to himself.
- 4:49And so my previous work environment has apparently
- 4:53hardened me, but it hasn't done much for my mobility.
- 4:57So you you probably see this man just limping like he's got a
- 5:00shoddy knee and a you. Have like snow up to your waist
- 5:03so we see the path kind of like carving through the crisp snow.
- 5:08I would be crawling through the snow.
- 5:10Then I have AI have a shoddy knee.
- 5:12Wonderful. You got snowshoes?
- 5:14No, I don't have snowshoes. OK, well, I'm I'm, I'm just
- 5:18trying to, I'm just trying to keep up with the group.
- 5:20Then I guess, limping through the snow.
- 5:23Dragging your your your good leg and and well in in front of the
- 5:29the limping and nagging pyro who's ahead.
- 5:33Ahead of the limping man is a large, like kind of hulking
- 5:38mass, has the head of a lizard and down its back is it has like
- 5:45what looks almost like coarse fur.
- 5:47But then it extends more into quills running down his spine.
- 5:52And he's just kind of like trudging along.
- 5:54And he hasn't like a large muscular tail off the back,
- 5:57which I imagine actually the old guy limping along is holding
- 6:01onto the tail to kind of drag him through the snow a little
- 6:03bit. Oh yeah, that's.
- 6:05Fine. And as I'm just like walking
- 6:07along, he has like he reaches into his pouch and pulls out
- 6:11herbs that have like crawling insects and stuff as well.
- 6:14And he just, like, jams it into his mouth.
- 6:16And as he starts drooling, he collects bits of his drool in
- 6:21these little blacks. They've actually turned into
- 6:23like a like a popsicle by now of like these insects.
- 6:26So it's like one of those like, disgusting, like cabaret
- 6:29desserts. Perfect.
- 6:32So then he just like will pop it into his mouth, and then as it
- 6:34melts down and drips out of his mouth, he'll bottle some of it
- 6:38up. Like a Jolly Rancher.
- 6:40Yeah, All right. As he is pulling out the bag and
- 6:45going for a snack, the black hooded and cloaked figure ahead
- 6:49of him turns around and says. Hey, let me get one of those.
- 6:53I'm out. Jesus Christ, my God, uncalled
- 6:59for. This is mine.
- 7:01Yeah, but it could be mine too keep.
- 7:03Walking. You need to learn to share.
- 7:04We're all in this together. And then just motion to just
- 7:08keep going forward. Yeah, fuck you too.
- 7:12Well, then ahead of this cloaked figure, you see a really like
- 7:17real thin, gaunt, pale woman, stringy hair, just tattered rags
- 7:24that's walking a a donkey next to them.
- 7:27And she's got her other hand that's not holding the the range
- 7:32for the donkey on the back of the gentleman in front of her.
- 7:37And she's not not so much like holding on, but kind of like
- 7:40pushing him along. Try to keep pushing him.
- 7:43Forward and I I guess before introducing Levi's character
- 7:46that Levi to the other members of your little adventuring
- 7:51party, know that you have no fucking idea where you're going
- 7:54whatsoever. No, no, not at all.
- 7:58But the mule in front of him is kind of leading him the.
- 8:01Way. And from the mule there is a
- 8:03long rope wrapped around my neck, pulling me along, and all
- 8:08you see is this really short in stature, wide man who's dressed
- 8:13as a old timey. Is that like the the Beast Chill
- 8:16variety of autoerotic asphyxiation or something?
- 8:20You could say that. You think Casey falls?
- 8:21Asleep at the wheel because I I I do believe that you have
- 8:26spoken with a great confidence until it got below a certain
- 8:29temperature that you absolutely knew where you were going and
- 8:33was innated to this lens. Oh 100%.
- 8:37Don't worry, I will lead us to justice and victory against this
- 8:42reindeer meter, whatever we're doing here.
- 8:46Is there a reason my crippled ass cannot sit on top of this
- 8:50this this mule instead of being dragged around?
- 8:53Oh, he doesn't like being ridden.
- 8:55He just likes to drag me along. And you never bothered to ask to
- 9:00be on my end either, so you could kindly fuck off just.
- 9:03As you're you're kind of like evaluating the two of you in
- 9:07front there, which ones of your your compatriots have the
- 9:12fattiest meats on their bones. The storm kind of like kind of
- 9:15like gives up for just a moment and you start seeing, let's say,
- 9:21because he's being dragged along on his back, that pyro you see
- 9:26like this bundle of flesh frozen next to you.
- 9:33It seems to be like a collage of of various body types and and
- 9:38faces and then fingers and and insides under likes made into
- 9:43one horrific ice sculpture as more of the wind clears out
- 9:47these silhouettes of little ramshackle.
- 9:50It was like biking cabins like these these like the the roofs
- 9:54reach all the way down to the snow where they're almost half
- 9:57buried there. There is like a like a great big
- 10:00town central fireplace. If you ever seen Asperx and
- 10:04stuff, it's kind of like like that.
- 10:06And it's also like like snuffed completely out.
- 10:09Then it's like like half covered in snow.
- 10:11Everything is painted in blood, which has long, long ago frozen.
- 10:17And there is this like hanging sign with great set of antlers
- 10:21on top of it that's like barely creaking in the wind.
- 10:25The the ice attempts to to keep it suspended.
- 10:31That reads welcome to to Anella. You're right in the middle of
- 10:35City side of Town Center. I think we made it to our
- 10:38location. Oh, it looks like you actually
- 10:41know where you're going after all.
- 10:43You can always trust the Jackass.
- 10:47Hey, hey. I knew you could do it, Tommy.
- 10:51No, you. Didn't I know?
- 10:53It didn't I just got never mind. Should we get inside and out of
- 10:57the weather? Yeah, probably.
- 10:59How do we get in? We'll start digging.
- 11:02I'm going to take my Candlestick and break off a chunk of like
- 11:05that ice flesh or whatever and then throw it through a window.
- 11:08Yeah, you, you, you break off what appears to be previously
- 11:12healthy and able bodied child's forearm with cracks with
- 11:16satisfying a snap. And you see there's still like a
- 11:19little a little spot of like like warm and and soft
- 11:23intestines in the middle, almost like like slightly defrosted
- 11:28around you. You either There is, by the way.
- 11:31It's completely quiet. There is this smell of salt and
- 11:34iron. Well, you put me in an awkward
- 11:37position, Daniel, because I'm a I'm also not a not so secret
- 11:42cannibal and I pull out some intestines.
- 11:44Oh yeah, I'm a I'm gonna look at Pyro and just to cure a monster.
- 11:48Yeah, it's like that part of them cracks in your fingers as
- 11:50you as you rip them out. Then like releases this, this
- 11:53Dane essence more than the smell as the the the smell of like
- 11:58death is so strong here. Your animals are almost like
- 12:01like pulling back at their reigns as as death is everywhere
- 12:04in this village. And even though the reason for
- 12:07this mass murder is unclear, it is still pretty fucking obvious
- 12:11why the deliveries have halted. I'm gonna nudge Craig Allen.
- 12:16Are you gonna give me any intestines as well, or are you
- 12:19just gonna let me starve? Well.
- 12:21You have two hands yourself, you know.
- 12:24Yeah, but be a gentleman. Feed your wife.
- 12:26What the Hell's wrong with you? I'm.
- 12:28Just floating along here getting pulled and tugged the way I like
- 12:31it. Can I fit through a window that
- 12:33I broke? There's not many windows some
- 12:36days these these houses as they are these like almost like lean
- 12:39to long houses. There's a couple of couple of
- 12:42people here seem to even have lived in like big tents made of
- 12:45like reindeer hide. There's about 12 houses here all
- 12:48together. Fairly fairly humble habit.
- 12:52Which one looks like the biggest Vestas?
- 12:54Oh, there is a long house that seems to be like the like the
- 12:57the the meeting hall or the need hall or something.
- 13:00Is there any chimneys with smoke coming out?
- 13:03As you look around here you see like one of the bigger tents
- 13:08towards the back has like a dying snake of of black smoke
- 13:15escaping up before disappearing into the the snowstorm up above.
- 13:19So the smoke is it's signs of life.
- 13:22Let's go investigate that. I can use some warmth.
- 13:26I mean, I might be big, but fat freezes cold.
- 13:29So do you all, do you all go towards the smoke or do any of
- 13:32you attempt to enter the most impressive long house?
- 13:38Oh yeah. I'm going.
- 13:39I'm, I'm vain. Great, right?
- 13:42I'm going to, I'm going to stumble my way up to that one
- 13:44and try to find a way in there. Just hack through the roof.
- 13:47With my Candlestick is. That.
- 13:49All you have for a sore back and a shoddy knee and a Candlestick.
- 13:52Are you entering the longhouse by yourself or anyone else?
- 13:55Anyone else? If, if none of these guys
- 13:58followed me, I'm, I'm just trying to get, get out of the
- 14:00cold so my knee will warm up and you know.
- 14:05Kevin's going to follow Pyro, hence the guy had been riding on
- 14:09his tail most of the trek up here so.
- 14:11No, I wouldn't say I was riding it.
- 14:13It was more like just you were pulling me.
- 14:16I was pulling you. Out sleeping half the way.
- 14:18I've slept in worse. Conditions so you you kind of
- 14:20like shuffle the snow away from the front of very rustic door to
- 14:27central longhouse, which also like most most other things here
- 14:29have like antlers and A and a reindeer skull mounted above the
- 14:33door and something written in a runic language that your your
- 14:38your literate minds surely can't read as a Creek open.
- 14:43The first thing that meets you is well, hanging from one of the
- 14:46beams in the ceiling as the torso of what could have been
- 14:49your grandmother swinging back and forth with a missing jaw
- 14:54that completely flayed and well, let me see.
- 14:58We're going to use a generator I made for the first time here.
- 15:01Can one of you roll me D12? I got you 10 and give me another
- 15:07one as well just to see where it went.
- 15:09Two. OK, so you notice that it seems
- 15:14like child or a dog that would have attempted to do surgery
- 15:21that that the stomach of this woman is removed and, and the
- 15:25the crudest and least delicate manner possible.
- 15:29It's like a mockery of butchering the way this
- 15:32completely played flag Buster ladies like hanging upside down
- 15:35in front of you, like right in front of your face.
- 15:37As you open the door. It takes a moment before you
- 15:39realize that she's she's dead. All right, I'm going to prod her
- 15:42forehead. Hey, you're in my way.
- 15:46Oh shit, I think she might actually be dead.
- 15:49I'm observant of you. Yeah, well, I'm just going off
- 15:53of what my details are around, you know, opening this.
- 15:56Door and yeah, there's there's a fireplace that's long frozen.
- 16:01It's like this little icicles that like hang down and and
- 16:03almost like penetrate the ground underneath and into the dashes.
- 16:07And it seems to be a a quite a fight here.
- 16:10There's a table with a wooden cutlery and plates.
- 16:14It's been flipped over. There's the wind is still
- 16:17blowing in through cracks and and walls.
- 16:21However, it appears to be a neat excuse for shelter.
- 16:25I'm going to skirt around that dead body and try to pick up any
- 16:28Tinder I can find, head towards that fireplace and use my
- 16:32Candlestick to start a small fire.
- 16:33It's. Going to take a while, so we're
- 16:34going to go over to the. I'm a blacksmith, I know all
- 16:37about fires and stocking it. I'll follow behind him, but I'll
- 16:42try to cut the body down and just kind of take in the
- 16:45surroundings. You're right, we're gonna need
- 16:47something to eat later. Hey, aren't you cold blooded?
- 16:50No, that's just an assumption. Oh right, my bad, I don't.
- 16:56How the fuck did you get in here?
- 16:57I'm not. I'm actually with the other
- 16:59guys. Oh.
- 17:01And we're in here, too. So meanwhile, by the tent
- 17:05outside, you're like following this like trail of murder and
- 17:12death. And some of the pink snow behind
- 17:15you has even turned yellow as one of your donkeys is in fact
- 17:18pissing itself in fear at this moment.
- 17:22But you do come to this like, bigger tent.
- 17:25And as you open the tent and look inside, you see a little
- 17:29pretty impressive pile of children's skulls burnt and
- 17:34flayed recently, snuffed out by something.
- 17:37And before you step into the tent, you'll notice, just as
- 17:41it's like where the entrance of the tent begins, these these
- 17:44hoof Marks and the snow underneath your feet.
- 17:46Well that's a terrible idea. Everyone knows skulls don't
- 17:49burn. What a bad idea for a fire.
- 17:52Yeah, no, I mean, could he use coal or something else that,
- 17:55hey, we're getting that go inside to go out of the weather,
- 17:59move the skulls. I don't know why there's so many
- 18:02kids skulls here. We we all know adults are the
- 18:05way to go when you're hungry. Well obviously fuck them kids,
- 18:08but let's get out of the fucking weather and inside the tent.
- 18:11And we need some tender old meat.
- 18:15Some fucking old people jerky. As you you step inside and
- 18:20you're like kind of like brushing off the ash.
- 18:23Although some of the like the like rugs that are still
- 18:26stretched out here, you notice that one of them is not reindeer
- 18:29hide but in fact made from very poorly cured human skin with
- 18:34some weird actions in it saying heretic murderers frozen to
- 18:40death for all eternity. It looks like it was written by
- 18:42a three-year old who barely learned how to write.
- 18:44Dips. That one's fine.
- 18:46All yours, Krogel. That where it is a Cape.
- 18:48Great. I name it Mort.
- 18:51It's gonna be. Mort.
- 18:53Oh, thank you. Hey, quit trying to mow my lawn.
- 18:55Shut up, don't take orders from you.
- 18:57Hey, we're settled. With the hostility here, we're
- 19:03all cold. Yeah, but she started it and now
- 19:05I'm getting hot. Why you got to make me so hot?
- 19:08He's coming. Guns, please.
- 19:09Is this? A cool situation.
- 19:12All I was say, hey Craig Allen, shut up.
- 19:14The grown-ups are talking me. Up.
- 19:16Craig. Allen.
- 19:17Yeah, tell me what to do. I'll.
- 19:18Tell. You what?
- 19:20To do. All I'm saying is this is.
- 19:22Fucking. Obviously we're all hungry,
- 19:24we're all cold. We need to fucking calm down and
- 19:28I don't know, I'm I'm fucking starving and I'm tired and I'm
- 19:31cold, Craig make a fucking fire. I.
- 19:34Bet I can tell you how many skulls are in that pile.
- 19:37I don't care. Make a fire please, honey.
- 19:41With the friction in this room, there's no possibility we won't
- 19:44start a fire in here. I can't tell where this is
- 19:46going. I don't.
- 19:48I don't either. This is gonna be a second time
- 19:52or angry time we're. Gonna have to put a mature
- 19:54warning on there for sexual content.
- 19:59That's just Levi. Rated L for so you all just like
- 20:05get cozy in in each your your tent and and and longhouse.
- 20:10Almost like a system of class is already establishing.
- 20:13Oh. Yeah, I'm gonna say right now,
- 20:15Thomas and I are gonna be the winners.
- 20:17We're going to survive this. Well, yeah, because you're not
- 20:21in the room with the. I'm not in the angry sex room.
- 20:26The potential catfight at any time.
- 20:28Tension is killer. Oh.
- 20:30Fuck you up. I'm, I'm going to take some of
- 20:32these skulls and try to like friction, the fire, you know?
- 20:35What are you, Tom Hanks and Castaway?
- 20:37I've. Never done this before, usually
- 20:40Yutna does it for me. Eventually you do manage to
- 20:43Starfire and you'll get like like warmed up.
- 20:47For now, it is it's it's a hassle to maintain it.
- 20:51And and I'll say that like during during this time, as
- 20:53you've gotten nice and and cozy in the scenic landscape, you
- 20:57you've also like gotten some glimpses of the landscape
- 21:02whenever there is like a little little break in the storm.
- 21:05The most obvious thing is, of course, the giant black antlered
- 21:09monolith to the north that appears to fade in and out of
- 21:14vision. Oh yeah, that's always been
- 21:16there. It seems to be either well
- 21:19decently sized monument pretty close, or a huge impossible
- 21:24construction further away. You've also seen a little little
- 21:28pond down to down to the West, and from the trail behind you
- 21:33there's apparently a a a forest that you must have completely
- 21:37walked around while getting here.
- 21:39Can I cut those trees? You have tree hate in your eyes,
- 21:43don't you? I do.
- 21:46But I think while like while gathering wood, then getting
- 21:49ready to well, choose your next course of action, you see, you
- 21:54see a couple of a couple of like signs of the lake, the woods and
- 21:59the giant monolith up to your north.
- 22:01OK, aside from just the skulls that are in this the tent,
- 22:06there's nothing else in here. Not really, except, well, the
- 22:10the roads or whatever does give you a a fair advantage against
- 22:15cold outside. So it's like thick and shag?
- 22:18Like, yeah, it is. It's like, it's, it's like, it's
- 22:20like human shaved leather with emphasis on shaved.
- 22:28I'm gonna grab some of that and put it around me like a cloak.
- 22:32Didn't Prugel just put that on? Isn't there a lot of?
- 22:34It it's, it's, it's, it's more than enough human letters to go
- 22:37around here. You find like and and it, it
- 22:40almost seems like, well, I'll say what's Craig Allen from
- 22:45your, which is a fine native name for a, for A to an Allen
- 22:48settler. By the way, that that through
- 22:52your through the, the pacification of this culture
- 22:56that you claim as your own. You have you can, you can see
- 23:00that this is almost like a human poaching station, but you're
- 23:04pretty sure that tunnel is famous for reindeer meat, not
- 23:08human. You've seen a, a, a salt mill,
- 23:12which is grinding human bones, tanning racks with more human
- 23:16leather on it, all of it with, with the precision of a drunken
- 23:21child. And it's, it's, it's almost like
- 23:24like it became like the whole village became more suicidal
- 23:27than you after you stole that land.
- 23:29Oh wow. Oh, this is very interesting.
- 23:33All this human flesh, there's little bits of hair covered in
- 23:37in it. It's weird.
- 23:39Look, Catherine, some yellow snow.
- 23:41Eat it. It's banana flavour.
- 23:43Eat it. I instead take another of the
- 23:46like frozen herb and insect ice ball and stick it slowly in my
- 23:50mouth. OK Gers, I'm watching you.
- 23:53That's rightfully disgusting. Why is she so angry?
- 23:57Will somebody feed her and myself?
- 23:59I'm fucking starving. What the fuck do we do now?
- 24:04I mean, we have to find what the hell happened to all the
- 24:06reindeer beach, right There's. Not a sign of reindeer here.
- 24:09Nothing except the anthers that are mounted on certain certain
- 24:12houses and on on signs and stuff like that.
- 24:16I've seen this before. Hostile takeover marketing
- 24:19schemes. All that used to work with a guy
- 24:21named Spin went back in GESHPIC. It looks like the reindeer may
- 24:27have finally just said fuck this, we're going to sell you
- 24:29guys. So mystery solved.
- 24:32Should we just go back and tell tell the boss This cold's really
- 24:34getting to my knee? That sounds like a real complex
- 24:38back story and I doubt it's that.
- 24:41Failed it. But we should probably continue
- 24:44to look for any sort of signs of struggle or survivors.
- 24:49Well, there's struggle over there, struggle here, struggle
- 24:51under my foot, there's struggle everywhere.
- 24:54Right, but where did it come from?
- 24:56Fair enough. Kath's been.
- 24:58I'll go and, you know, sit in the long house for a hot minute.
- 25:02Maybe I can find a long cabinet full of long folders.
- 25:07Maybe some details in there? Yes, cause 'cause sitting and
- 25:09waiting for stuff to happen is always a good.
- 25:12And I'm gonna point at my knee and give it a little slap.
- 25:14Slap. Yeah, You know, shoddy knee and
- 25:16all. Plus my back's getting a little
- 25:18sore. Just come grab me.
- 25:21I'll I'm gonna go check things out over here.
- 25:23Yeah, sure. And I will turn.
- 25:26And as I like, turn, my tail's gonna whip and hit him in the
- 25:29bad knee. God, God fucking what the fuck?
- 25:32Are you kidding me? Cheap shot, man, Cheap shot.
- 25:36And then I'm gonna go and just kind of like check the perimeter
- 25:39of the village to see like I can find like any additional tracks
- 25:43of something that caved. In I'm gonna follow Keswin and
- 25:46just keep arguing with him. You know, you don't have to do
- 25:49that kind of bullshit. Look, I woke up.
- 25:52Hey, actually, it was a little bit better.
- 25:54Where you going? Wait for.
- 25:55Me tail slap again knocks it back out.
- 25:58You piece of shit. So Kevin is checking the
- 26:04proximity of the village or anyone else going with him or
- 26:08checking any other directions, I'll say.
- 26:10I'm gonna go with him and try to get him to fucking knock my knee
- 26:12back into place. Right on.
- 26:14Would you consider these antlers as like an improvised weapon,
- 26:17and if So, what sort of damage would you?
- 26:21Say I'm rolling old school and these antlers would definitely
- 26:24do D4 damage in its pure state, but could easily be chiseled
- 26:30into something more accurate and stab worthy.
- 26:36Stabbable no like stab works for.
- 26:39Me, I like stabbable either way. Yeah, it could be chiseled into
- 26:43something that would deal these six, but at its current state,
- 26:45it's a, it's a, it's AB4. Right up my alley.
- 26:48OK, perfect. What I'd like to do 'cause I the
- 26:51only other weapon I have is a femur, which, yeah, I'd like to
- 26:55take one of the antlers off the wall or wherever it is and try
- 26:59to lash it together to my femur. So it's more of like a like a
- 27:03pokey pull arm sort of thing, or it's like a staff and then
- 27:06eventually whittle it down so I can get more damage out of it.
- 27:08But that's neither here nor there.
- 27:10So do I need to make a roll to put it together or just it?
- 27:14It just takes some time. That's it.
- 27:16What you're doing is is fairly, fairly foolproof.
- 27:19You know what? We'll do it at A.
- 27:20This is Markborg. We'll do it at A at a difficulty
- 27:22rating 6, so everyone gets a chance to laugh at you if you
- 27:25fail, so you can do. AI laugh at him already.
- 27:30Yeah, let's do a pre over challenge rating of 6.
- 27:33OK, well I got a three. You got a three somehow your
- 27:37your femur breaks and you accidentally stab yourself
- 27:40slightly in the eye in a in a loud and and worthy way for
- 27:45scums such as yourself and take D2 damage.
- 27:47Son of. A fucking.
- 27:49Bitch. It's the first time you've taken
- 27:53it in the eye. He might be.
- 27:54Dead. I'm at one hit point.
- 27:58Oh my God, I took two damage you.
- 28:03Did. One thing.
- 28:05I know, never do that again. Take a hit of your life elixir.
- 28:09You might need that. Oh.
- 28:10Fuck, right? Flash that bad ride in your eye,
- 28:13yeah? I'll say one of you are are near
- 28:17enough you can you can definitely try to waste your
- 28:21resources on on on saving this this very frail.
- 28:26He tried to help himself. He's on his own.
- 28:29I was trying to help the rest of the group.
- 28:30Craig, get these fucking bones out of my eye.
- 28:32Please. I'm gonna just hold my bloody
- 28:34eye open as it's pouring down my cheek.
- 28:37Oh. That's so gross I can't even
- 28:40look at you. You do notice that that the bone
- 28:43is jagged fairly deep in there and removing it would possibly
- 28:47paralyze them, so I think it's best to just leave it in there
- 28:50actually. Yeah, find Pyro.
- 28:51He's a blacksmith. He can.
- 28:53He can get that out. It's a good look for you, it
- 28:55looks so nice. Do you think I look pretty?
- 28:57Am I still beautiful? Oh.
- 28:58Don't point just. Cover it.
- 29:02What I'm gonna? Do now human skin, and I'm gonna
- 29:05cover his eye with human skin. Yeah, I was actually gonna say
- 29:08I'm gonna try to fashion a fucking eye patch out of the
- 29:10flesh and just like a secondary eyelid.
- 29:13Well, yeah, you, you want to hold that Shard in place.
- 29:16You don't want your eyeball moving around a whole lot with
- 29:18that in there. You're just gonna have more
- 29:19damage over time. Yep.
- 29:21Well, you know, with this broken antler, it's pretty sharp.
- 29:24Now it looks like he could do D6 damage or something.
- 29:26Oh, it's the femur that he sharpened.
- 29:28That was the femur. No, what I was trying to do is
- 29:30tie the femur and the antler together so but it I fail
- 29:36anyways. Well, you can head butt for
- 29:39damage now, so that's something. But is that gonna shove the the
- 29:43bone right into my? I'll say there's a one in six
- 29:45chance of that happening. Yes.
- 29:48Oh my God, that's so awesome. I love.
- 29:52That you know, you said head butt for D6.
- 29:56Before one in D6, chance of well, and I'm gonna make a quick
- 30:02table for effects of what can happen when that happens, just
- 30:05for fun. That's awesome.
- 30:07One of them is definitely a parallelization, like from from
- 30:10the waist and below. Nice, I like this game.
- 30:13Hell. Yeah.
- 30:14Let's let's make us more of a problem.
- 30:18However, let's move to that the boring this Gooby gang.
- 30:22And then I go to Keflin, who is currently checking out the
- 30:25proximities. Would you slow down?
- 30:27I don't understand how fat you You're a lizard in the middle of
- 30:31winter out here and you're moving so much faster than me.
- 30:33I'm also part porcupine. Yeah, I don't know what that is.
- 30:37Sorry, never seen one. I just thought you had some
- 30:40weird lizard acting going on. So Kevin, you're like kind of
- 30:43like carving your own path through the pink snow here.
- 30:47And you do see a see a blood trail that is seemingly
- 30:50stretching to the north towards that giant monolith until it
- 30:55kind of like gets into like this, this spot a couple of 100
- 30:59meters outside of town where it's just like completely snowed
- 31:02over. But the monolith becomes like
- 31:04clearer and clearer. And underneath it's further away
- 31:08than it seems. And underneath it, it's almost
- 31:10like this dancing strange Aurora borealis and like almost like
- 31:15this, this like retro wave neon colours dancing in the distance.
- 31:23As it gets a little bit darker, it becomes more radiant.
- 31:26Wow, look at. That Technicolor?
- 31:28Oh yeah. Yes, this is not a great sign.
- 31:34We should probably. Go get the answers just moving
- 31:37because the the monolith definitely has answers.
- 31:39You know, if I were going to find reindeer meat, it'd
- 31:41probably be at the giant and I'm going to gesture towards the
- 31:44monolith. I'm just saying like there's
- 31:46nothing back at at home base there.
- 31:48Sure, let's go get the others and let's go check this out.
- 31:52Are you the you want? You want to get involved with
- 31:55all of them really our. I feel like our survival chances
- 31:58are better if we just keep moving, but we.
- 32:01Just we need meat Shields here and I'm also going to like.
- 32:05Do you see what I'm wearing? And I point at my fucking armor.
- 32:09And I I grab him and I actually like give him one more tail
- 32:13flick to his knee to like try and straighten it back out.
- 32:16Hey. Oh, thank you.
- 32:18Thank you, Catherine. All right.
- 32:20Now you can run away from them and leave.
- 32:22Them behind I just didn't want to it's further to go back and
- 32:25my knee is fucking was killing me.
- 32:27But now, now I feel comfortable walking a few extra, you know,
- 32:30meters, whatever, 300 to one. Let's let's get them now.
- 32:35OK, you're dueling again, by the way.
- 32:38You want me to get that for you? Or uncork and collect a little
- 32:42bit more into a vial. You got any more of those hard
- 32:45candies for me too? As you're and as the two of you
- 32:48are moving out here, I think it's time to make our first
- 32:51Frost Fever check. At a difficulty rating of 12 for
- 32:55both of you, that would be a a toughness check and you can just
- 33:00let me know what you get. I approached the bench.
- 33:06It says in my description your working environment has hardened
- 33:09you. Yes, I would.
- 33:12Say so. So let's make yours A10 instead
- 33:15of a 12 for this particular, all right?
- 33:18I got a dirty 20 so. Let's stop. 2920. 920.
- 33:28No, all of that panic and you just roll out of it anyway, so.
- 33:33It's kind of warm out here and I'm gonna take off a like a
- 33:35woolly sweater underneath my plate armor.
- 33:39You need this Kaspen You're you're looking a little dry.
- 33:43Thanks and I'll like as I put it on my quills will just like rip
- 33:47up the back. Of the yeah, thank you.
- 33:49I I didn't need that back. Oh, so it's a Snuggie now?
- 33:54And as you're like, well, getting getting rather
- 33:55comfortable and and and this God forsaken cold as you've been so
- 34:00used to your own annoying voices for so many, so many days,
- 34:04hours, months, who cares? Now you hear like the first kind
- 34:09of like alien voice from what appears to be like NE of you,
- 34:14almost like a like a like a after echo carried by the wind.
- 34:19We should have we should have listened.
- 34:22It's not our fault. And there's like a silhouette
- 34:25out there hunchbacked, kind of like aimlessly fumbling through
- 34:30the snow up towards the North East.
- 34:33I'm gonna look at Captain real quick.
- 34:35Are we going back or do we want to investigate this, this
- 34:39gentleman out here? This is more clues, I think they
- 34:43can catch up. OK, I mean, we left a pretty
- 34:46good trail. All of my look back at the weird
- 34:50awkward trail will be left with your tail, like obviously WAVY
- 34:52making a a sidewalk. Pretty much they'll be able to
- 34:55find us. It'll be fine.
- 34:56And we'll we'll have spinning face of the ugliest character in
- 34:59the group do a do a scooby-doo transitioning to the rest of you
- 35:03who are back at the longhouse. Fire is cracking.
- 35:07As long as one of you maintains it and and actively lookout so
- 35:11it doesn't snuff out you, you have like a well.
- 35:14I don't know what your current presence that was, but your
- 35:18dating career as is is over. I'm married anyways, it doesn't
- 35:24matter. This is true, you're all getting
- 35:27rather comfy as it has been a while since the others left.
- 35:30What are the rest of you you all doing in the long house?
- 35:34It's it's eerily quiet. I don't know about them, but I'm
- 35:37taking a break. Oh God,
- 36:02So welcome back to Flail, Flail to the face.
- 36:05I'm Daniel. I've been running Black Antlers,
- 36:08which is my very new adventure, which I'm very proud of for all
- 36:11the scary people in this podcast.
- 36:16God, that fucking hurts. Yeah, when we left off, we were
- 36:24still exploring and getting comfy in the desecrated winter
- 36:28Wonderland that is to Anella, where no one has gotten to taste
- 36:32sweet side effects of hypothermia yet.
- 36:34Which, because it points me a great deal.
- 36:37I I. Some of us can't afford to,
- 36:39yeah. Well, there's a lot of
- 36:43affordable real estate up here, as a reasoned.
- 36:46However, I believe Craig Prugal and Yutna are still in the
- 36:53longhouse after performing some improvised surgery and Kef, Wynn
- 37:00and Pyro saw someone who mysterious rogue figure kind of
- 37:04like stumbling through the snow and talking to themselves or
- 37:09practicing their lines. You're you're not completely
- 37:11sure as yeah, you were, you were considering whether to go as a
- 37:19dynamic duo that you surely are not, or go and tell the others
- 37:23like, like cowards. Yeah, calls you up.
- 37:26Yeah, straight up. So what do you do?
- 37:29They they can follow our trail. Let's let's check out this
- 37:32shadowy figure. Oh, I completely agree.
- 37:35You know, we've been travelling for a while, Captain.
- 37:37Do you people only have like one name?
- 37:40No. OK, I'm just trying to open up
- 37:43to you man. So my full name is Pironius Tax,
- 37:47if that means anything for you. Like maybe you've heard of me.
- 37:51No, I haven't. I haven't heard of you at all,
- 37:53and I don't really have a people.
- 37:56I was assembled this way from some mad scientist and it's
- 38:01interesting. It's very interesting.
- 38:04Yeah, it's, it's complicated. More like a complex backstroke.
- 38:09Wait, we already did that. OK, well you know, with my knee
- 38:12feeling better, I'll lead the charge on this one.
- 38:15Here have some of this and I hold a a vial.
- 38:18Oh, is it? Is it tasty?
- 38:20It tastes like like axle grease and it has a consistency of like
- 38:27cold syrup. Just like what I used to make.
- 38:30I'm gonna pocket that and then turn around and.
- 38:33Oh no, you need to drink that. Oh oh.
- 38:36'Cause I need the glass back. Wow.
- 38:40All right, I'll, I'll uncap this thing and just slam it back real
- 38:44quick. As you're kind of like
- 38:47approaching the figure I, I assume you've been like you've
- 38:50been moving carefully and slowly up through the snow.
- 38:54Why don't, why don't you go ahead and roll me a a reaction,
- 38:58an NPC reaction? Quick quick thing Jake.
- 39:01That was one of my little drool potions you gain 1D6 temporary
- 39:09hit points for. 15 minutes. Damn.
- 39:12OK, I got one. There you go.
- 39:15You feel slightly better. Feel slightly.
- 39:17Better. Yes, you can roll a reaction
- 39:20check for for the hooded figure to see how hungry, delirious or
- 39:26lonely he currently is. Oh my, Atlanta, you roll one,
- 39:29I'll roll the other. All right.
- 39:31Teamwork. I got a one.
- 39:33I got a 2. All right, as you approach it,
- 39:36you see the figure kind of like stops moaning for yet a moment
- 39:41as it's like hoax, almost like like merely like merely moved by
- 39:46the wind, as if there was no will to live left in it.
- 39:50And you see what is apparently about like 40 feet away from
- 39:56you, a a, a covered in dry blood, frozen snot and tears.
- 40:02What looks more human than what you might expect, if a bit
- 40:06malnourished. His his clad and, and a reindeer
- 40:09hide that he wears as a Cape and has kind of like a like a helmet
- 40:14or warm horn that's like facing downwards.
- 40:16And the other appeared to be broken off, probably for for for
- 40:19drinking purposes. And he like, points at you, you
- 40:24heretics, liars. And he starts like slowly and
- 40:29dramatically halting towards you at an extremely slow pace.
- 40:33What do you do? I'm gonna.
- 40:34Look over at Kathben. Don't worry about it bro, I got
- 40:37this one. I'm a walk over and just kind of
- 40:40push him down all. Right.
- 40:42Let's let's try that. So as you will also with well
- 40:47pull your your incredibly sturdy leg, even with the additional
- 40:50hit points not move at 2 great speed.
- 40:53I think you can roll me an initiative between the two of
- 40:56you as you're kind of like slow moving through the snow.
- 40:59What a. What an anti climatic start to
- 41:01the fight. Just two old grumpy men
- 41:05approaching each other. I got a four.
- 41:07That's you all right so you like you you notice that if you lean
- 41:10forward through the firm snow now you can you can gain an
- 41:14uppercut I'm. I'm gonna, I'm gonna brace
- 41:16myself and I'm gonna hold my fists up like a like an old
- 41:19timey boxer and call me a liar. I'll show you what for.
- 41:23You lied of our ancestors of our heritage foul Chieftain.
- 41:30I don't even know and he like reaches out his hands as you're
- 41:34able to do whatever you want before he like slowly a very
- 41:37comfortable pace comes towards you for the snow and.
- 41:40I swear to. God, I'll put you down.
- 41:42Give me your strength. Check there.
- 41:44God, that's a 14 and I give him a quick swift uppercut.
- 41:49Perfect. So you're like, you're gonna
- 41:51like sock him right in the jaw, roll your damage.
- 41:54That'll be you don't have a weapon right now, I presume or.
- 41:57I have a Candlestick, but I'm just giving him an old left,
- 41:59yeah. Give me D 40.
- 42:01Oh, those are big numbers. Kill this hungry gentleman if
- 42:04you if you have the opportunity. Or do you want to knock him out
- 42:07of the project? I don't know yet what's what's 3
- 42:09damage do. Three damage that could
- 42:11potentially kill him. It's on his last pref it seems.
- 42:13Oh my gosh, yeah. I, I fucking give him that
- 42:16uppercut. And then I, I, I pull up into a
- 42:19boxer stance, old timey one. I told you son, I'll fucking
- 42:22make you shit grease. Yeah, kind of like falls down
- 42:25comedically towards you. So like smashing his nose
- 42:28against your kneecap as he slides down slowly And is it the
- 42:35bad kneecap? Absolutely.
- 42:37Oh what? What?
- 42:39God damn it, get the quick while he's down.
- 42:43He's like twitching on the ground in front of you, almost
- 42:47like a like a epileptic attack. As as the low amount of
- 42:51adrenaline he had left in his brain is quickly making way for
- 42:55his sensory systems that now realizes that he's very cold and
- 42:59closely dying. Yeah, Captain is just going to
- 43:02like dogpile on him and try to like start like binding him.
- 43:05And you, you, you hog tie him like, like a prophetic excuse
- 43:08for a rodeo bowl. And he's, he's kind of like
- 43:12grunting and opening and closing his mouth with the eyes rolled
- 43:15to the back of his skull. He could just as well step on
- 43:18his head and kill him right now with no, no effort whatsoever.
- 43:21I'm. Trying to get information from
- 43:22this. This Yeah, Let's drag him back
- 43:25to the others and see if we can warm him up.
- 43:28I have 30 feet of this rusty chain, so we'll just hog time
- 43:32and then, you know, use the rest of it and pull.
- 43:34This is cool. Unfortunately, Catherine landed
- 43:37on my jotty knee, so you're gonna have to, you know.
- 43:40It's fine, let's let's just do this again.
- 43:43And then there's like the loud pop as I put it like back into
- 43:46place. God, OK, I don't think I can
- 43:49take much more of this today. I need to rest my knee here,
- 43:52regardless of what it's sitting. You you just pull them all
- 43:55right? Sure.
- 43:57Here, you're a good, you're a good boy, Kaspen.
- 43:59Dragging him behind us as we head back to where?
- 44:05As you're looking towards the direction where he came from,
- 44:08you see that like his trail goes up to like a northern wood that
- 44:12stretches almost like a horseshoe around to Anella and
- 44:16to down towards that frozen lake that I mentioned earlier.
- 44:20And just as it seems like the storm is about to wake up from
- 44:26from it's little nap, you see like a like a trail of smoke
- 44:30coming from the woods. I wonder if they.
- 44:32Caught up to us. It's definitely not the one from
- 44:35the longhouse, and I believe we'll change to the other gang
- 44:38now. Well, inside the longhouse, it's
- 44:40been about like half an hour since the others left.
- 44:43You're trying out your new eye antler head extension.
- 44:48Probably bulking into a couple of things there.
- 44:52Here is it again, Yotna. Yeah, as as you, you hope this
- 44:56won't complicate you and your your husband's.
- 44:59Love life oh, we've been through worse.
- 45:03I wonder where those those shit bricks said we're with?
- 45:06I wonder what they've been up to they.
- 45:08Probably did. That's unfortunate for them.
- 45:12The dumbass is running off into fucking nowhere.
- 45:15Hey, cool down there. You're probably not far behind.
- 45:17No, I'm sorry. This, this fucking antler in my
- 45:20head right now. It's it's got me all, all fucked
- 45:23up in the never mind whatever, I'm gonna sit down for a while.
- 45:27She stands just standing there. I'm just awkwardly standing over
- 45:31the pile of skulls. I'm gonna sit down for a while
- 45:32and just staring with the one good eye at the pile of skulls.
- 45:36As she's sitting down on the skulls, or as as frugal as
- 45:40sitting down on the skulls, whoever of you is most annoyed
- 45:44and wished there were somewhere else can only a presence check
- 45:47that's. Probably me.
- 45:48Probably. Yeah.
- 45:48See my. Friends +2 at least.
- 45:52Lucky. Almost like a video that was
- 45:54like slightly out of sync, 'cause you're about to sit down
- 45:57on the pile of skulls, The rattling of bones comes a little
- 46:00bit sooner and you hear like, what sounds like the clacking of
- 46:04joints hitting together, but it seems like it's coming from
- 46:09outside the longhouse that. Doesn't sound too good.
- 46:12I grabbed my warhammer. Oh wait, do you have a fucking
- 46:15warhammer? Yeah.
- 46:17Prugy Bear. Prugy Bear.
- 46:19So that's why no one, no one's killed him yet.
- 46:22Craig Allen, go see what that was.
- 46:24Oh, I'm so comfortable here wrapping I'll.
- 46:28Give a shit go, I don't. Really like you to boss me
- 46:33around. Actually, I couldn't.
- 46:34Do that, and as I'm telling him to go, I'm actually just staring
- 46:37completely in the opposite direction of where he's at.
- 46:40Like I'm sure she's fine. I'm fine, go see what the fuck's
- 46:45going on outside I. Guess so.
- 46:47I'm gonna meander over to the the doorway and.
- 46:51Don't worry, I'll take care of you.
- 46:52No, as I tap my warhammer against the palm.
- 46:55I fucking heard that. I don't know where you are
- 46:57though. To Craig Allen, as you step
- 47:00outside, would you mind rolling me AD 4 and 2D twelves please?
- 47:05Yeah, all the dice. Interesting.
- 47:09So on my D4 I got a 12D, twelves 5 and a one.
- 47:13Five and a one. That's gotta be good.
- 47:16Sounds great. Why does it gotta be good?
- 47:18What What about any of this is good?
- 47:20Oh yeah, and, and I would like AD 6 on top of that too.
- 47:24Yeah, you know, low, low numbers on the dice, but a lot of dice,
- 47:27buddy. A #2 As you step outside you,
- 47:32you get this like weird almost like this associating sensation
- 47:37as we look towards the lake and see in between the houses.
- 47:41And for a moment, it's like almost like this this per
- 47:44version of a very idyllic like postcard because in front of the
- 47:48lake between the houses, you see what first appears to be a
- 47:52dancing reindeer playing in the snow right uphill from the lake.
- 47:57It's like pouncing every time it lands.
- 47:59You hear like bones rattling. However, where a regular
- 48:03reindeer would have would be covered in soft and fluffy fur,
- 48:07you see a bundle of human livers stitched together kind of like
- 48:13stretched out over it and like juggled it like the butters on a
- 48:16cow, but all over it. Like it's it's just covered in
- 48:19this sacks of liver where would prefer would be.
- 48:22And it's like it's playing and jumping in like half circles and
- 48:25like reaching it's now towards the sky and and tackling
- 48:30together it deep and it stops and looks at you and then it
- 48:33keeps playing. That thing does not look right.
- 48:36There's something wrong with this deer over here, honey.
- 48:40There's something wrong with you too.
- 48:41Oh, you don't judge. You got to come look at this
- 48:44thing. It's.
- 48:44Creepy. OK, and I'm going to start
- 48:45walking towards the opposite side of the tent.
- 48:48You're in a longhouse right now. Around.
- 48:50Please. You're you walk towards the back
- 48:52of like the fireplace to work like that.
- 48:54The far end of the smash table and staring to the wall, I
- 48:56guess. Yeah.
- 48:58I grab her by the shoulders and maneuver around in Central.
- 49:01Oh, yeah. Thank you, sweetie.
- 49:03OK. You got to look at all these
- 49:05milkers. Yeah, it takes a second as
- 49:07you're standing outside there. I have a roller reaction.
- 49:11Roll for the reindeer here. Oh, damn, that's interesting.
- 49:15Got an egg. So.
- 49:17I like the sound of that one bit.
- 49:19So as you're, you're just like looking at it and it's like it's
- 49:24notice to you. Like it absolutely certainly
- 49:26has, but it's like it just keeps playing like it.
- 49:30It lays down and like kind of like starts rolling around on
- 49:33its back in the snow and like jumps on a frosty corpse like
- 49:38and like kind of smashes it with like light and elegant steps
- 49:41followed by this juggling guts hanging down its side.
- 49:45It's kind of. Beautiful, beautiful.
- 49:48It's having fun. I'm gonna go make friends.
- 49:50I feel like. That's a bad.
- 49:53I'll go. Well, there you go thinking.
- 49:54Again, I'll go with you, and I'm going to put my hand on Krugal's
- 49:56shoulder and let her guide. Don't touch me, hey?
- 49:59That's my shoulder. That fuck off Craig Allen, you
- 50:03fucking turd. And.
- 50:08This is the most toxic marriage I've been, right?
- 50:11This is not from experience. So did you push?
- 50:17Do you push you up now? First, Like, almost like, almost
- 50:22like a polearm infantry. Yeah.
- 50:24Like both hands on her shoulders, guiding her head.
- 50:27Oh yeah. OK, let's go make friends, I
- 50:29suppose. Come.
- 50:31On Jackass. And you step closer and you see
- 50:33that, like the reindeer turns around and starts like just as
- 50:36you're like getting about 10 feet away from it, it turns
- 50:39around and starts like pouncing teasingly, like downhill.
- 50:43And it reveals a sign behind it, wooden and rotten, almost like
- 50:48having flipped over in the snow, only held up by like the very
- 50:52firm layers of ice. And it reads warning, no fishing
- 50:58mall rush. Mall rush.
- 51:00Yeah. And if I tossing down towards
- 51:02the lake and you see it like, like keeps playing down there
- 51:04until it eventually disappears out of sight.
- 51:07You had no time for your eye exam, Can you read that?
- 51:09I'll put my hand on the antler like I'm blocking my eye so I
- 51:14could try to read with my good eye warning involved less I did,
- 51:19yeah. So.
- 51:20No, it's just free fish man, your eyes are really bad anyway.
- 51:24Go play with that deer. No, no, come on.
- 51:27It's creepy and disfigured and beautiful and elegant.
- 51:30So we're not going to go play with it.
- 51:32So I. Think that's a.
- 51:33Bad idea getting you on down. Almost like it's like it want
- 51:36like you're not sure if it wants you to follow it or if it just
- 51:38thinks you're like ruining it's beautiful, elegant liver, liver
- 51:44filled play time. Yeah, I would say at this time
- 51:47is when Pyro and Kefin show up. You're just gonna like see all
- 51:52three of them like standing there and like looking,
- 51:53scratching their heads and like insulting each other, looking
- 51:56down over to the lake as they're looking at something.
- 51:58That must be very cool you. Just waiting for the sunset or
- 52:02whoa, hey, how, where? The.
- 52:05Hell, did you come from? Oh, you know, we're just out
- 52:08doing our fucking jobs while you three are making home and doing
- 52:11whatever weird shit you do together.
- 52:13And the you know what? Glad you're alive I guess.
- 52:17Yeah, we thought you were dead. Kind of disappointing, actually.
- 52:20We found clues and I'm like, hold up the person we've been
- 52:24dragging behind us. I don't, so don't sound so proud
- 52:28of yourself. We found clues.
- 52:28Forgive us for our ignorance. And is he kind of like the the
- 52:32hog tied to an Ellen native that looks very much like the people
- 52:36you pillaged and burned and held up like a like a price hog,
- 52:40completely delirious, almost dead from frostbite and a solid
- 52:44uppercut from a cripple. Yeah.
- 52:47So as you're like, like coming out catching up to the others,
- 52:49you see like, well, the the behind of of this, this reindeer
- 52:53as it as it prounces in between the trees and disappears out of
- 52:56sight. And you see this this big frozen
- 52:59lake probably would to take you like an hour to walk around it.
- 53:03On the other side of it, you see nothing but like static white
- 53:06storm that seems to be almost like like circling around the
- 53:11village. And for Kevluin and Pyro, what
- 53:16are your what are your presence like?
- 53:18My presence score is -1. -2. No, Sir.
- 53:23Read. Yeah, you see, you see this lake
- 53:26down there and, and the sign which I don't know if you can
- 53:28read or not. Oh, I can read.
- 53:31I'm literate this time around, yeah.
- 53:34Morning. No fishing Mallrus.
- 53:38All right, I've been around obviously a little bit here.
- 53:41Would I know what a Mallrus is? Yeah, you heard what?
- 53:45You've been around here. Well, not here, but I've been,
- 53:48I've I've been traveling as a blacksmith.
- 53:50No, it seems like a typo. Seems like a typo.
- 53:53It's like it seems like it's maybe it's supposed to be an an
- 53:57an M, but it clearly makes very little sense.
- 54:01I mean, if you there's, there's not much else besides the
- 54:04reindeer, which you haven't seen a sign of, except that that Bony
- 54:07leg that just disappeared into the forest to to live from.
- 54:09I think that's supposed. To say walrus, but I'm not sure
- 54:12why they illiterate. You can't trust anyone that's
- 54:15illiterate. What are you?
- 54:16What are you guys fucking staring at?
- 54:18To be fair, Like we have a job to do.
- 54:20Why are Why are you just staring?
- 54:23Look, it's been a long, rough day.
- 54:24I've got a fucking Atlas stuck to it.
- 54:26Stuck in my. Eye I don't care about.
- 54:28That I didn't think you fucking would either.
- 54:30Anyways, who's your fucking friend?
- 54:33Thank you, dear Smooches. Oh, keep that atom away so.
- 54:37Sharp doomed for our ancestors crimes.
- 54:41Please relieve or reveal. It just keeps.
- 54:43Talking a lot about. Crimes and save us from our
- 54:45misery. We are our children.
- 54:49We need to thaw this guy out. I think he's killing all the
- 54:52kids. That's what it sounds like.
- 54:55Back in the tent in interrogate I suppose.
- 54:57Yeah, I like me a good beat down.
- 55:01All right, so you, you, you bring him back something on the
- 55:05floor. It's not a problem.
- 55:07He's like, he's like, looks like he's trying to like, like he's
- 55:09been out and and he's only got like snow blindness.
- 55:13So he's like turning his head. That's like that that the
- 55:15shadows and and actual structures of this house seems
- 55:19familiar, yet very disorienting to him.
- 55:22He's just like bumbling on the on the floor, not trying to get
- 55:25out. More like a confused dying
- 55:27animal. I'm going to put my Candlestick
- 55:30to his throat and try to interrogate him.
- 55:33What do? You know about this place?
- 55:34Why were you out in the in the middle of nowhere wandering
- 55:37around? Why you saying all this weird
- 55:38shit? I don't have time for this,
- 55:40Sunny. I give him a little slap with my
- 55:41left hand. He kind of like looks and
- 55:44slightly and off direction to your face as if he's talking as
- 55:48if he thinks you're you're like a bit further away like her
- 55:52fault to witch. Bruegel, did you do this?
- 55:57I thought it was Yutna. I didn't.
- 56:00Who's the witch? Tell me and I'm going to I'm
- 56:02going to throttle him again with my left.
- 56:04Hand, blasphemous, cut, angered by exile, the 1st and truest of
- 56:13heretics, hiding in a red mist like a coward.
- 56:17Should have killed her long ago. Spared our children.
- 56:23I think this has to do with more of a cult then it is the beef
- 56:28jerky part or whatever the reindeer jerky.
- 56:31I don't know, it sounds like she has a nice personality.
- 56:33Did you say jerky? Yes, you want some.
- 56:37Yeah, he kind of smacks his dried out lips and he's a part
- 56:40of one of them is so frosty that kind of like crumbles and
- 56:43flosses off a little bit. Yeah.
- 56:47I'm going to take some of the intestines that I pulled out
- 56:49earlier and shove them in his mouth.
- 56:52He's tied up so. OK, as he like, smacks on it,
- 56:56you see, he regains a little bit of like pinkish color around his
- 56:59frosty lips as he kind of like gets a little bit of clarity in
- 57:02his eyes and he starts crying. Oh my, my dearest daughter, I'm
- 57:07so sorry I had to do this but it's so tasty.
- 57:14Well, there's more where that came from if you explain what
- 57:17you did. Did you do this?
- 57:18And I just heard all the well, no, we're talking about it now.
- 57:23Actually, I hope you would talk more about it now.
- 57:26We are humble trade interrupted by the vile which is heresy
- 57:33after being exiled. Don't.
- 57:35Make me slap you again. Kind of like tries to move away,
- 57:39like hits his head back into your new cap again, the bad one,
- 57:43but going to avoid well, where you think you're coming from.
- 57:46And he's like, oh fuck no. We exiled the witch.
- 57:51She turned our trade against us. The antler the herd murdered and
- 57:57terrorized our village only survived.
- 58:02All her fault. Deer did this.
- 58:04Those were what was left of our herd.
- 58:08Flayed our our fathers, salted our children's meat.
- 58:15He smacks his lips, kind of like it's almost a pleasant memory,
- 58:18and he'll be kind of like looks towards where the more more
- 58:21intestines might be. I I shove a little more
- 58:23intestines in there and then turned around to the group.
- 58:26He he cries some more as you do that, as like more tears flows
- 58:30down and his cold eyes and you're picking at some kind of
- 58:34weird trauma guilt thing here, but you're not quite sure what
- 58:38it is. Or maybe you are.
- 58:39I have an idea. If we're dealing with occult and
- 58:45the witch, I mean we saw that monolith out there that is true,
- 58:50just to get that. Unless you three slack offs
- 58:54found anything interesting. No, not at all.
- 58:57I haven't seen shit as I'm like just touching the antler.
- 59:01Why are you talking to that wall?
- 59:02Captain And what? Where are you, Captain And Pyro
- 59:05saw something else. What?
- 59:06Did you see out there a monolith, you said?
- 59:10Well, I thought as we were coming back that maybe you guys
- 59:12caught up to us and there was a little bit of smoke out in the
- 59:15woods. We could swing by there and then
- 59:18head towards the monolith. Oh yeah, that sacrifice altar,
- 59:21that's that's where we sacrifice our well, you're talking.
- 59:24About that is. Calves.
- 59:25Your finest calves, huh? And would there any be any
- 59:27reason for this witch to be there?
- 59:31Oh, she's hiding in the red mist, up north, up, up E, like a
- 59:36coward hiding from her own sins. She cannot hide from Loaferlawn,
- 59:42not when Kalma seeks revenge on her.
- 59:45I should have more intestines in his mouth.
- 59:49I think like his his kind of like like frosty head is now
- 59:52kind of like getting comfortable in your lap like a big like a
- 59:56cat puppy thing suckling on the intestines that you're feeding
- 1:00:00him baby bird crying about his dead daughter that something
- 1:00:06happened to. Well, I I think we pack up this
- 1:00:09this circus and go check out this Ulta real quick.
- 1:00:13We don't have to carry this thing around, do we?
- 1:00:15No, I was planning on leaving him here.
- 1:00:18No, I, I think I'm gonna hold on to him, actually.
- 1:00:21I'm gonna free up his legs a little bit and then wrap the
- 1:00:23chain around my waist and grab some more intestines around the
- 1:00:27area, whatever more I can get. And then, like, lead him with
- 1:00:30me. Yeah.
- 1:00:31Yeah, it's it's it's fairly. Let's say you you got.
- 1:00:34Look, I got my own Jackass now. Craig Allen. 30 feet of
- 1:00:38intestine rope seems and we'll we'll decrease it by the 10 feet
- 1:00:44each hour for how much he manages to suckle up as he's
- 1:00:46walking behind you. And he is just going to town on
- 1:00:51that stuff. He looks like he hasn't eaten
- 1:00:53for very, very long. He's slurping it like a
- 1:00:55spaghetti noodle. Yeah, or he's going to eat me
- 1:00:58out of house and home. I should have picked up a stray.
- 1:01:01Yes, This is why we don't get pets.
- 1:01:03It's. Probably better you put it down.
- 1:01:06Oh, oh Tuvid, I'm so sorry. I I I wish you could grow up to
- 1:01:12be more than nutrition. OK, you can talk less now.
- 1:01:17Remember the unspeakable part? And I said more sense in his
- 1:01:20mouth. He nods and suckles on the butt.
- 1:01:2415 Pest. You're a good boy.
- 1:01:26And I'm going to, I'm going to start walking towards where the
- 1:01:29altar was with hopefully, hopefully my companion Kespin,
- 1:01:34my, my amigo, my bro Chacho. We are we are going to
- 1:01:38investigate this. You're the rest of you are
- 1:01:41welcome to join us as well or if you're going to continue to play
- 1:01:44homemaker, whatever. Or domestic violence case.
- 1:01:50She. Tripped and fell.
- 1:01:51It wasn't me. I've heard that many times.
- 1:01:54Though it's going to true though.
- 1:01:56I don't believe either one of you.
- 1:01:57I don't want to be involved in whatever your weird triangle
- 1:02:00relationship is. I don't either.
- 1:02:02I want to get the fuck out of here.
- 1:02:03Keep this triad to yourself. I would have my hand on Craig
- 1:02:07Allen's collar so he can lead me.
- 1:02:10That's what I'm into. I know kinky fuck.
- 1:02:12As you're all going out, you do realize that that yeah, it is as
- 1:02:16it's getting darker, it is definitely getting windier,
- 1:02:20almost like like whiplashes of of frost banking your cheeks and
- 1:02:26into discomfort. As you're you're you're marching
- 1:02:30northwards towards the monolith. As it seems to be getting
- 1:02:34slightly closer, you pass the trail where where Kathman and
- 1:02:39Pyro went earlier. You see that as it gets darker,
- 1:02:43also, like the distance where the edge of that force shoe
- 1:02:45trees that I mentioned was previously, this like red mist
- 1:02:49becomes clearer and clearer. So there's the Aurora borealis
- 1:02:54right above the ground, which looks very weird, and those neon
- 1:02:56radiant colors and and that red, red mist up to your E Wow.
- 1:03:02Signs of a witch, allegedly. And I look at my my toad
- 1:03:05companion. He's like, Oh yes, that's that's
- 1:03:09that's where she hides red mist with those wild dogs.
- 1:03:14All right. Oh no said anything about dogs.
- 1:03:17Teen Vogue, fellas and. Well.
- 1:03:21Ladies. Yeah, I I know Krugal's one, but
- 1:03:23I'm not sure about the wife. She's.
- 1:03:25I'm right fucking hear you prick.
- 1:03:27She says. Goodnight.
- 1:03:28Lady. Shut up as a.
- 1:03:32As you trek on for like a like an hour, the the model lifted,
- 1:03:38coming ever so closer and disappearing kind of like into
- 1:03:42the the darker and darker sky. Why don't all of you give me a
- 1:03:45toughness check and we'll see how you're doing on the
- 1:03:47hypothermic front real quick. What?
- 1:03:49Where are we going again? You're going north towards the
- 1:03:53big altar, Do we? Do we want to investigate this
- 1:03:57mist is what I was getting at. I think the mist.
- 1:03:59Is before the monolith. Oh, it's directly in front of
- 1:04:02us. No, no, no.
- 1:04:03It's the opposite direction. The monolith is to the north,
- 1:04:06while the red mist is to the east.
- 1:04:10Oh fucked out. No, I, I, I vote for the mist
- 1:04:14since our our lovely toad pet person keeps going on about the
- 1:04:19mist. About the witch and the dogs and
- 1:04:21everything. Well, it seems to believe that
- 1:04:23it's her fault, at least from what you managed to gather.
- 1:04:25It seems like she was exiled from the village at some.
- 1:04:28Point Yeah, we'll just go have a friendly talk with her.
- 1:04:31All right, but you can all give me toughness checks, especially
- 1:04:34with that detour. Nonetheless, I will see if we
- 1:04:39finally get to try the Frost Fever rules. 1818, you're good.
- 1:04:44Do I have some sort of a buff with all this child leather?
- 1:04:48And my surrounded in my wolf frock I gave.
- 1:04:51Him. Oh yeah, absolutely.
- 1:04:53You have a plus 1/2 rolls against Frost fever.
- 1:04:57Let's see, you are not the reptilian.
- 1:05:01So that's about it. Yeah, and the difficulty will
- 1:05:04always be too lower for you kef when than for the rest of the
- 1:05:09group. Perfect, I'm in trouble.
- 1:05:11I rolled in 18. So.
- 1:05:13This is a toughness check. Yeah, a toughness check.
- 1:05:15You're so good. So I rolled a 4 -, 2.
- 1:05:23Plus one Excellent. I got a 5.
- 1:05:27Did anyone else get below as it's getting increasingly colder
- 1:05:33and and more hostile here? The difficulty rating is now 14.
- 1:05:40So who got below 14? Yep.
- 1:05:41Yeah, everyone involved. Yeah, I did not.
- 1:05:45I got a 16. Excellent.
- 1:05:46Well, Thomas also got an 18 I think, right?
- 1:05:49Yeah, I got an 18 as well. So it's just US 2.
- 1:05:51Great, great, awesome. Cool Jake.
- 1:05:54And yeah, Pyro. And pyro and.
- 1:05:57Fragon. So you can roll for, well, you
- 1:06:02you. You're definitely getting
- 1:06:03colder, but the ways that that the tundra enhances and alters
- 1:06:10your perception of things varies.
- 1:06:13So why don't both of you give me AD 20?
- 1:06:15I'll see how this fucks you up. I have one.
- 1:06:18HP so hopefully. What's a natural 20 give?
- 1:06:22Me, it's a table so well, I'll, I'll, I'll read it, but let's
- 1:06:27see Pyro's result first. So we'll do Pyro first.
- 1:06:35Pyro, you're noticing that like your, your leg doesn't feel
- 1:06:38quite so bad. And there's like this this comfy
- 1:06:41warmth that starts spreading from the inside.
- 1:06:44It's like it's just you. Or is it getting hot here and
- 1:06:46you're like, you feel like the clothes are kind of like bogging
- 1:06:48you down. You almost feel like like
- 1:06:50getting naked. I don't know, I, I guess I
- 1:06:54start, I start unbuckling my fucking plate armor and I make,
- 1:06:59I make my, my new companion hold on to it.
- 1:07:03He's like, what? What?
- 1:07:05Oh, OK. Yeah, carry my stuff for me.
- 1:07:08It's real warm out here lately and I'm going to take my pants
- 1:07:11and my my shirt off. Whoa, whoa.
- 1:07:13Damn, wants to see that. I don't care.
- 1:07:15Don't look, I I'm getting fucking hot out here.
- 1:07:18I'm gonna dress up my new friend in my clothes and armor.
- 1:07:22Oh. Shit, at least put your armor
- 1:07:25back on, that'll help. Oh no, no, pull you down.
- 1:07:28It's plate metal. It's fucking it's, it's heavy as
- 1:07:31shit. My knees hurting a little bit
- 1:07:33but my leg feels phenomenal. Where are you?
- 1:07:35I'm at. 50% right. Now take that sock and just
- 1:07:38cover your bits. At least it's.
- 1:07:39I was gonna say, let the codpiece back on.
- 1:07:42We don't need to see your ankles.
- 1:07:43Fine. I'll wear the codpiece at least.
- 1:07:45So much shrinkage. Oh God.
- 1:07:47You can you can keep your socks on if you like, but but
- 1:07:49everything else is like it's it's it's like uncomfortably
- 1:07:53warm, almost like like like you would get a heat stroke.
- 1:07:56If you like, don't, don't under. Will you please start fanning
- 1:07:59me? I'm it is so hot.
- 1:08:02My God, I'm gonna roll around in the snow and try to cool off.
- 1:08:05Yeah, to the rest of you, he looks absolutely fucked up.
- 1:08:08Like he's like he has no color in his cheeks.
- 1:08:11He looks like his skin is clinging to the flesh.
- 1:08:14Dear, dear life. And kind of stuttering when he's
- 1:08:17talking. Kim, what have you put just
- 1:08:20going down to the lake, get some ice cold water and and just
- 1:08:22fucking douse me right now. It's it's like there's I.
- 1:08:25Don't think that's exactly what you need right now.
- 1:08:27I. Think it's exactly what I need.
- 1:08:29Stop arguing with me. Go get the God damn water.
- 1:08:31I'm going to die here. I'm on fire.
- 1:08:35Bad news, he's got the snowman that's going to have.
- 1:08:37To put him down. Wait, good news, Good news.
- 1:08:39He's got the snow madness. We're gonna have to put him
- 1:08:41down. Rugal, what are you waiting for?
- 1:08:42Pull me out. Pull me out and I stopped.
- 1:08:44Drop and roll. Yeah, you, you do.
- 1:08:46And you make you make glorious snow angels.
- 1:08:48And. And meanwhile, you might notice
- 1:08:54one member of your party is not currently with you as Craig
- 1:08:58Allen is fucking them is is is missing.
- 1:09:05However, when you look back, you see the silhouette that's kind
- 1:09:07of like standing there and a bit too far to make out his his
- 1:09:12features clearly. OK, so I had my hand on his
- 1:09:15collar as he was dragging me through.
- 1:09:17You're standing behind him pushing him.
- 1:09:19So there's actually two members of the party missing in that
- 1:09:21case. So you're like pushing him.
- 1:09:23He's just not moving. You're just like, you just stop.
- 1:09:27And he's like a impenetrable wall.
- 1:09:28And you hear he like, kind of like, you hear like, a loud fart
- 1:09:31coming out from the back of him and realize that he's emptying
- 1:09:34his bowels. Oh, did I die?
- 1:09:38And upon further inspection, you're not sure if, like, this
- 1:09:42happened just now or if it's been a degrading effect for a
- 1:09:45long time. But yeah, he's been dead for at
- 1:09:47least a couple of hours while walking around here.
- 1:09:50You mean to tell me that my husband?
- 1:09:52Which is really weird to say. In an Oval Place has been a
- 1:09:57walking course and then turned into a fucking Jack Nicholson's
- 1:10:00character from The Shining. Pretty much, yeah.
- 1:10:02To be fair, my Jackass has been pulling me along this whole.
- 1:10:05That's true. Oh, my God.
- 1:10:06It's true, actually. Yeah.
- 1:10:08Like the Jackass has been pulling him along.
- 1:10:09You notice that, Like, it didn't make very tiny baby steps, if
- 1:10:13even on the way of walking. And it's.
- 1:10:15It's funny how he just like stood straight up and kind of
- 1:10:17like plowed through to snow in front of you.
- 1:10:20But the Jackass is like standing there and looking at him trying
- 1:10:22to kind of like get get away and eventually like it.
- 1:10:24It rips the rope and around his neck.
- 1:10:28And yeah, that's right. And his head falls into your
- 1:10:32your hands. And if you're one good eye, you
- 1:10:35can barely see the donkey gnawing at the rope and
- 1:10:38chuckling like in the back there and laughing at him.
- 1:10:43I'm gonna turn around to the rest of the group and kind of
- 1:10:45hold the head out. Does this look infected?
- 1:10:49Oh. My God, what?
- 1:10:53Happened. Here, before we end this
- 1:10:54recording, Daniel, is there anything you would like to plug?
- 1:10:58Yeah, for sure. Like I'm not a big social media
- 1:11:01person, but you can find some of the stuff that I've made on
- 1:11:05Daniel Harilla dot H dot IO. Black Antlers is already
- 1:11:10featured on the Exalted Funeral Web Store.
- 1:11:14There will be a trailer coming out soon and if you subscribe to
- 1:11:16their newsletter, you will be notified when the adventure
- 1:11:19drops in physical form. It will be available both as a
- 1:11:22PDF, a bundle. Now a PDF is a physical scene
- 1:11:25and deluxe bundle which will be limited screen printed and hand
- 1:11:30numbered by me and my wife and come with a very cool cassette
- 1:11:35tape with the soundtrack of one hour of music made by my good
- 1:11:40friend Gallo Morris who well is pretty much the viewing on this.
- 1:11:46You can find a soundtrack on gilliammorris.bandcamp.com and
- 1:11:51the cassette will also be Feet Be, featuring a undead reindeer
- 1:11:55generator, which we had the joy of trying for the first time on
- 1:11:57this episode of Flail to the Face.
- 1:12:00Oh, it's. Musical.
- 1:12:02Well, yeah, we'll link all that stuff in in the description for
- 1:12:05the episode. But yeah, Daniel, fucking
- 1:12:08awesome, bud. Thank you all.
- 1:12:10Right, we'll see you next week. Yes
- 1:12:58Hey everybody, Kevin at the end of the episode.
- 1:13:00This episode features the adventure Black Antlers by
- 1:13:02Daniel Carlson with Levi playing Craig Allen, The Suicidal
- 1:13:06Settler by Daniel Carlson, Jake playing Pyro the Brazen
- 1:13:09Blacksmith by Seth Thomas playing Captain, the Bogwater
- 1:13:12Apothecary from Dwellers of the Bog Fight the Dungeon Keys,
- 1:13:15Kevin playing Yodna, the Restless Wander by Will Rickson,
- 1:13:19and while playing Prugel, the Knock Dicks by Straggle Wolf
- 1:13:22Vandenberg. Check out all these cool things
- 1:13:24and the respective X Lucas morph Porg entries in the description
- 1:13:27accompanying this episode, as well as a flail to the face
- 1:13:29episode 26 companion, the suicidal settler.
- 1:13:32And while you're at it, check us out on our social medias, our
- 1:13:35Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, blue sky and thread and wherever
- 1:13:39you listen to podcasts. Make sure to rate, review and
- 1:13:43share with all of your friends so we can get out there to more
- 1:13:46people. While we're at it, if you
- 1:13:47haven't already, please check out our sister podcast, The
- 1:13:50World Standard. And if you like what they're
- 1:13:52doing over there, think about joining their Patreon.
- 1:13:54It gives you access to their Discord, which you can talk to
- 1:13:57us as well because we're on there.
- 1:13:58And just for $3 a month, you get a Discord access with that.
- 1:14:02Thanks for listening, and we'll catch you guys next time when we
- 1:14:13jump back into the episode. Daniel, you can just say welcome
- 1:14:15back to the file of the face. You can scream it like Chris has
- 1:14:18done countless times blowing out our ears or or however it's
- 1:14:21comfortable for you. Oh.
- 1:14:22No, I'll, I'll scrape it. That's fine.
- 1:14:24You could, you could be sexual. It doesn't matter.
- 1:14:25Oh my. God.
- 1:14:26Don't listen to Levi. He's been drinking all day.
- 1:14:29Or do or do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 1:14:34Almost dead from frostbite and a solid uppercut from a cripple.
- 1:14:38I don't know. Can I say that?
- 1:14:41Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- 1:14:42I mean, I'd, I'd said it about my knee.
- 1:14:44I'm a crippled bastard. So I can use slurs, but only if
- 1:14:47it's about Jake, right? Yeah, yeah.
- 1:14:49That's 100%. Oh shit, that one caught me off.
- 1:14:56That was good. Happy birthday to you.
- 1:15:08Happy birthday to you. Happy broke up day.