Latest / Midnight Movie Theatre / Evil Dead Burn - 2026 (review) How does it stack up to ED Rise?

Transcript

Evil Dead Burn - 2026 (review) How does it stack up to ED Rise? · Midnight Movie Theatre

0:19
Speaker 1: Evil Dead Burn just came out. I'm going to be
0:21
Speaker 1: talking some spoilers, which I don't think really matter too
0:24
Speaker 1: much at this point. It's been out for a little
0:27
Speaker 1: bit now, so you've had plenty of time to see
0:29
Speaker 1: the movie. And despite that, I honestly think this is
0:31
Speaker 1: one of those movies where even if you know everything
0:34
Speaker 1: that's going to happen, you're probably still going to see
0:36
Speaker 1: it anyway. Honestly, I think if you've seen the trailer,
0:39
Speaker 1: you're gonna know what's going to happen in this movie,
0:41
Speaker 1: and within the first like ten or fifteen minutes, I
0:44
Speaker 1: feel like it was pretty easy to tell where this
0:46
Speaker 1: was going. Basically, it ties into Evil Dead Rise, where
0:49
Speaker 1: you have a family that gets turned into demons. You
0:53
Speaker 1: get a demon family in this just like an Evil
0:55
Speaker 1: Dead Rise. There are some other connections to Evil Dead Rise,
0:59
Speaker 1: the intro, which is one of my favorite parts of
1:03
Speaker 1: the movie. Honestly, I didn't get this right away, but
1:06
Speaker 1: the intro to Evil Dead Rise is kind of like
1:09
Speaker 1: what we see played out here on this lake. Basically,
1:12
Speaker 1: we got these guys going fishing, the lady that turns
1:15
Speaker 1: into a demon. At the beginning of Evil Dead Rise,
1:18
Speaker 1: we see her fucking get resurrected and shit and turn
1:21
Speaker 1: into a dead eye demon and she kills these guys
1:25
Speaker 1: real bad, and it is probably one of the best
1:27
Speaker 1: scenes in the movie. Honestly, I wish the rest of
1:29
Speaker 1: the movie kind of would have followed suit to this
1:32
Speaker 1: opening scene. It's just very It's very promising for an
1:35
Speaker 1: Evil Dead movie. It felt very similar to the twenty
1:40
Speaker 1: thirteen Evil Dead, which I feel like they did a
1:42
Speaker 1: good job with that one. Just to be clear, the
1:45
Speaker 1: original trilogy is my favorite. I'm one of those Evil
1:48
Speaker 1: Dead fans where I'm always going it's going to be
1:51
Speaker 1: like one, two and three or two to one and
1:53
Speaker 1: three as my top Evil Dead movies, and then from
1:56
Speaker 1: then on, I feel like twenty thirteen's the next best entry. Honestly,
2:00
Speaker 1: they kind of go almost in order of when they
2:03
Speaker 1: came out for me. You can swap out Rise and
2:06
Speaker 1: Burn for me. I feel like maybe I liked Burn
2:08
Speaker 1: a little better than Rise. I'd have to go back
2:10
Speaker 1: and watch Rise again, but just off of just off
2:13
Speaker 1: of a one, I've only seen each one of them
2:15
Speaker 1: one time now, and I would probably put Burn slightly
2:19
Speaker 1: higher than Evil Dead Rise. But anyway, let's I'm just
2:22
Speaker 1: gonna go through some of the things I liked and
2:24
Speaker 1: some of the things I didn't liked. I really liked
2:25
Speaker 1: the opening scene, like I said, really cool. The fishing
2:29
Speaker 1: wire kill was that was pretty brutal, and then getting
2:33
Speaker 1: boiled in the water and ship a lot of burning
2:35
Speaker 1: going on in this movie, if you can imagine that
2:38
Speaker 1: a movie called Evil Dead burned. Then right after that
2:40
Speaker 1: there's a kill where the main character's husband, he's a
2:44
Speaker 1: fucking dickhead and he gets he's drunk and he's like
2:46
Speaker 1: always kicking his wife's ass and stuff like that. I
2:49
Speaker 1: can't remember. The main character's name, Alice is always getting
2:52
Speaker 1: her ass kicked bad by her husband, and he's like,
2:55
Speaker 1: fuck you bit, fuck you French bitch. I'm gonna go
2:58
Speaker 1: drive my car drunk. He crashes into the demon from
3:02
Speaker 1: the lake and then he dies in a fiery, burning
3:05
Speaker 1: death in his car, and that is that's honestly, like,
3:08
Speaker 1: that whole opening sequence was pretty cool for me. I
3:11
Speaker 1: think the only thing I didn't like about it was
3:13
Speaker 1: they kind of go into like the three Wiseman shit,
3:15
Speaker 1: and it's like, hey, we don't need to fucking talk
3:17
Speaker 1: about the Three Wise Men, Okay, just leave that shit
3:20
Speaker 1: out of it. We understand that there's an evil fucking
3:23
Speaker 1: book that brings the fucking demons back to the debt
3:26
Speaker 1: from the dead and they possess everybody's families. That's the
3:30
Speaker 1: new that's the new thing we're going for, apparently. I
3:33
Speaker 1: wonder if that's what's going to happen in Evil Dead Wrath.
3:36
Speaker 1: They're already I think they're already working on that one,
3:38
Speaker 1: or it's already made or some shit. I think it's
3:40
Speaker 1: coming out next year. Wonder if it's going to be
3:42
Speaker 1: like it takes place in the seventies. But I wonder
3:45
Speaker 1: if it's going to be another family possession maybe like
3:47
Speaker 1: a seventies family possession movie. Hopefully not. I'd like to
3:51
Speaker 1: get away from that. Maybe they could do like just
3:53
Speaker 1: a group of friends again. That would be a fun idea.
3:56
Speaker 1: So the other parts of the movie that I like,
3:58
Speaker 1: there's a tense dinners that was there's a tense dinner
4:02
Speaker 1: scene where I was thinking, either they're going to kill
4:05
Speaker 1: this dog right here right now, or they're going to
4:08
Speaker 1: or he's going to kill somebody sitting at the dinner table. Basically,
4:11
Speaker 1: you get this like family that's mourning the death of
4:15
Speaker 1: their son and his you know, widowed wife is there
4:18
Speaker 1: at their house or it's like their their family house
4:22
Speaker 1: that they don't live in anymore, but they're like meeting
4:24
Speaker 1: up there, and it's like all decrepit and shitty looking
4:27
Speaker 1: now because they let their little son live there, and
4:29
Speaker 1: he's just like fucking doing research all the time instead
4:32
Speaker 1: of you know, like I don't know, mowing the yard
4:34
Speaker 1: or painting the house or like fixing anything. So the
4:37
Speaker 1: house looks like a fucking piece of shit and they're
4:39
Speaker 1: basically just sitting around this table. The dad's already been
4:42
Speaker 1: possessed by a dead eye, and we know that because
4:44
Speaker 1: we saw it happen at the funeral. For whatever reason,
4:48
Speaker 1: I don't know, it took a little bit of the
4:50
Speaker 1: tension away from the scene, but it kind of tipped
4:53
Speaker 1: the movie into that area where it's like, we're gonna
4:55
Speaker 1: kill a dog, and I feel like that's a line
4:58
Speaker 1: that some movies are willing to cross. This one definitely is,
5:01
Speaker 1: because he just goes ballistic in the middle of dinner
5:04
Speaker 1: and just starts stabbing the fuck out of the dog
5:06
Speaker 1: in front of everybody, and for some reason they like
5:10
Speaker 1: that was I thought that was a pretty good scene.
5:12
Speaker 1: Not my favorite, but still I'll let you know that
5:14
Speaker 1: this movie may not have any limits. Like, damn, a friend,
5:17
Speaker 1: it's a French movie. What are they gonna do next?
5:20
Speaker 1: Were they gonna saw somebody in half or something, or
5:22
Speaker 1: do some other really brutal shit pull somebody apart? You
5:25
Speaker 1: don't know. At this point, you're like if they're willing
5:28
Speaker 1: to kill the dog, but then the family just kind
5:30
Speaker 1: of like takes the dog out back and buries it,
5:33
Speaker 1: like they don't really give a fuck. I'm sure they're
5:36
Speaker 1: sad about the dog and shit, but they don't really
5:38
Speaker 1: seem that worried that the dad just like had to
5:40
Speaker 1: fucking melt down and stab the dog to death. It's
5:43
Speaker 1: like you think they'd be like, maybe this guy needs
5:45
Speaker 1: to go fuck off or go for a walk or something,
5:48
Speaker 1: just stab the family dog to death like a real dickhead.
5:51
Speaker 1: And along with this family, there's an old granny with
5:54
Speaker 1: dementia and she's just kind of like she's always like
5:57
Speaker 1: thinking that this that the son's girlfriend is gonna be
6:01
Speaker 1: like stealing shit because she's like, I don't know, Chinese
6:04
Speaker 1: or something. I don't really I didn't really get that.
6:07
Speaker 1: I don't know if that. I didn't think that was
6:09
Speaker 1: like a Chinese stereotype, but maybe it is. But anyway,
6:12
Speaker 1: there's a cool scene with the grandma after she gets
6:15
Speaker 1: turned into a dead eye where she is underneath the
6:18
Speaker 1: bed sheet and she stands up in the bed sheet
6:21
Speaker 1: and it just the way it was lit and the
6:23
Speaker 1: way it was shot looked really cool. And that's something
6:25
Speaker 1: where like some of these scenes, well, I'll get to
6:28
Speaker 1: it later. The bed sheet scene is probably my second
6:31
Speaker 1: favorite scene to be completely honest, right after the opening scene.
6:34
Speaker 1: And then after that, there's a scene where the main character, Alice,
6:37
Speaker 1: is running through the woods, like towards the climax of
6:40
Speaker 1: the movie, and it's all lit and red, like all
6:43
Speaker 1: the everything's back lit and red, so the trees are
6:46
Speaker 1: silhouettes and her running through the woods is just like
6:49
Speaker 1: a silhouette and it's like bright red. I thought it
6:51
Speaker 1: looked really cool. It kind of reminded me of the
6:53
Speaker 1: ending scene of the twenty thirteen movie where everything gets
6:56
Speaker 1: really red, but almost like a little bit more Giallo
7:00
Speaker 1: is in this movie, where it's it's so bright red
7:03
Speaker 1: that it's completely unnatural, And I thought that was really cool.
7:06
Speaker 1: Other than that, I think the only thing that I
7:08
Speaker 1: really enjoyed about the movie was that they were willing
7:11
Speaker 1: to kind of lean into some of the more shocking moments.
7:14
Speaker 1: Like there's a scene where a character gets a sharp
7:18
Speaker 1: pin shoved into her ear and fucking like punctures their
7:21
Speaker 1: ear drum, and shit, that was that was pretty shocking,
7:25
Speaker 1: very brutal. I felt like I keep referencing the twenty
7:28
Speaker 1: thirteen movie. I feel like some of the some of
7:30
Speaker 1: the damage, the ear damage, and just the overall like
7:33
Speaker 1: brutality of this movie reminded me of that one, where
7:36
Speaker 1: like it keeps saying, like where it just felt very
7:39
Speaker 1: visceral in the twenty thirteen movie, when the lady cuts
7:43
Speaker 1: her tongue in half and the guy gets the syringes
7:46
Speaker 1: in him and busts his head in the bathroom, all
7:48
Speaker 1: that stuff, it felt on par with that at moments.
7:51
Speaker 1: It just the only problem is it didn't know when
7:54
Speaker 1: to say when. I feel like there was some moments
7:57
Speaker 1: where it could have had that heaviness, but then it
7:59
Speaker 1: would kind of do something silly, but I couldn't tell
8:03
Speaker 1: if it was intentional or if it was just like
8:06
Speaker 1: or if it was just overdoing it. The whole point
8:09
Speaker 1: of the Dead Height's coming to this house is that
8:11
Speaker 1: they're looking for basically a magic knife that can kill
8:14
Speaker 1: the dead. It's similar to what we've seen in some
8:16
Speaker 1: of the older movies, you know, that's like the only
8:19
Speaker 1: way to destroy them. I will get fucking I'm gonna
8:21
Speaker 1: get lost in the woods myself if I keep thinking
8:25
Speaker 1: about the rules of this movie, because that's going to
8:27
Speaker 1: be something that's on my maybe I do not like list.
8:31
Speaker 1: I do not like list might be long and strong
8:33
Speaker 1: compared to my like list. But anyway, the Dead Eyes
8:35
Speaker 1: they're looking for this knife so that they can't be
8:38
Speaker 1: killed by it anymore. And there's a scene where Alice
8:41
Speaker 1: is going through her ex brother in law's research papers
8:46
Speaker 1: and all of his shit to find the knife. And
8:48
Speaker 1: there's like twenty different knives to choose from, and she
8:51
Speaker 1: starts stabbing them into him after he's been turned into
8:54
Speaker 1: a dead Height to see which one actually works. I
8:57
Speaker 1: thought that was pretty cool, pretty clever moment there. And
9:00
Speaker 1: then eventually she gets the right one, and it's it's
9:03
Speaker 1: kind of the one that looks less fantastic, almost like
9:06
Speaker 1: a little Indiana Jones shout out there when like when
9:09
Speaker 1: he's looking for the right cup, And it's not like
9:11
Speaker 1: the grand looking cup, you know what I'm saying that about?
9:15
Speaker 1: Does it for the things that I like? Though? I
9:17
Speaker 1: think that's a that kind of covers everything. There might
9:20
Speaker 1: be some things that I missed, but just going off
9:22
Speaker 1: the top of my head, I feel like that's kind
9:24
Speaker 1: of the things that stood out to me anyway, the
9:26
Speaker 1: good things, and to transition over something that was kind
9:29
Speaker 1: of bugging me a little bit. And I don't this
9:31
Speaker 1: might have just been the theater that I was in,
9:34
Speaker 1: but the volume was up so loud in the theater
9:37
Speaker 1: that it was almost like fucking unbearable at moments. And
9:42
Speaker 1: I couldn't tell if this was due to the volume
9:44
Speaker 1: being so loud, but the Dead Height's voices sounded so
9:47
Speaker 1: fucking tarted that I kind of understand what they were saying, like,
9:50
Speaker 1: And you know how in the old movies they have
9:52
Speaker 1: the freaky like doubled up voices with like the low
9:55
Speaker 1: octave and the high voice and they're making that shrill
9:58
Speaker 1: demon voice or whatever. And this one, there was several
10:01
Speaker 1: moments where the dead Heites were talking and I had
10:04
Speaker 1: no fucking clue what they were saying, and it probably
10:06
Speaker 1: wasn't important, Like it probably wouldn't have made the movie
10:09
Speaker 1: any better, I guess, but at the same time, it
10:11
Speaker 1: was just kind of like, what the fuck the fuck's
10:13
Speaker 1: going on here? And speaking of the way the movie sounded,
10:17
Speaker 1: the score to the movie also stood out as just
10:20
Speaker 1: like really fucking awkward. I feel like there was a
10:23
Speaker 1: lot of moments where they would be doing some bullshit
10:27
Speaker 1: and they would just start doing slow mo shots or
10:29
Speaker 1: like multiple angle shots, and the music would go on
10:33
Speaker 1: into this like weird, like almost like orchestral electronic kind
10:37
Speaker 1: of thing. It almost reminded me of like it was.
10:40
Speaker 1: It felt like the music was trying to be really
10:42
Speaker 1: dramatic and really serious and this like kind of I mean,
10:47
Speaker 1: the movie looks serious. I feel like it's just because
10:50
Speaker 1: everything looks like gray and like the colors kind of
10:52
Speaker 1: washed out of most of the movie, but what is
10:55
Speaker 1: actually going on in the movie doesn't seem to match
10:58
Speaker 1: the tone of the palette and the music, Like, the
11:02
Speaker 1: music felt almost similar to what you would expect in
11:05
Speaker 1: a movie like Requiem for a Dream or something like that.
11:08
Speaker 1: Like it's supposed to be a really really serious movie
11:11
Speaker 1: for some reason, and it's a movie about demons coming
11:14
Speaker 1: back and you know, taking over a bunch of people.
11:17
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's a fucking demon movie. M So yeah,
11:23
Speaker 1: I wasn't a huge fan of fan of the score,
11:25
Speaker 1: and honestly, like it's kind of one of those things
11:27
Speaker 1: where like a lot of the times I don't notice
11:30
Speaker 1: the score on my first watch, and I think that's
11:32
Speaker 1: kind of a sign of a good movie or like
11:36
Speaker 1: a score that blends well with the movie. If it
11:39
Speaker 1: stands out as like being really good, then I think
11:41
Speaker 1: it's exceptional. And if it stands out as being like
11:44
Speaker 1: almost silly, kind of like in this movie, then I
11:47
Speaker 1: don't know. I kind of chalk that up as a negative.
11:50
Speaker 1: Another big thumbs down for me is going to be
11:53
Speaker 1: that this movie just kind of felt like a generic
11:55
Speaker 1: demon movie. It didn't really feel like it was even
11:59
Speaker 1: tied into the Evil Dead universe. And I think that's
12:01
Speaker 1: because what they do with the Necronomicon and kind of
12:04
Speaker 1: over explaining how this the little brother's uncle has been
12:07
Speaker 1: doing all this research and stuff and now he's figured
12:10
Speaker 1: out that there's demons and whatnot, and this kid's just
12:13
Speaker 1: kind of like, yeah, now I'm figuring it out too.
12:15
Speaker 1: It's just I don't know it just feels like maybe
12:17
Speaker 1: they could come up with a different way for the
12:19
Speaker 1: Necronomicon to get introduced into these stories. And not to
12:23
Speaker 1: mention the fact that it does tie into all the
12:25
Speaker 1: other Evil Dead movies but it doesn't use the same rules.
12:28
Speaker 1: Felt very, very awkward to me. And I get that
12:32
Speaker 1: the rules they do kind of shift from movie to movie,
12:35
Speaker 1: but this one was just like, so the the dad
12:38
Speaker 1: gets turned into a deadite pretty early on, and then
12:41
Speaker 1: he just kind of hangs out outside of the house
12:44
Speaker 1: and he does like, I don't know, like spooky stuff
12:47
Speaker 1: for them to see out the window, but he doesn't
12:49
Speaker 1: really try to get into the house until the mom
12:53
Speaker 1: lets him in, and it almost feels like he's a
12:55
Speaker 1: vampire or something, like he needs permission to get into
12:58
Speaker 1: the house, because then once he gets into the house,
13:00
Speaker 1: he starts whooping the sun's ass and he's like flying
13:03
Speaker 1: through the fucking walls like he's Superman or something. He's
13:06
Speaker 1: like slamming him through the roof and he's fucking piled
13:09
Speaker 1: driving his ass through the floors and stuff, and it's
13:11
Speaker 1: just like, so, you could have just kicked the fucking
13:13
Speaker 1: door down anytime. I mean, you're a demon and the
13:16
Speaker 1: grandma gets turned into a dead ic because I think
13:18
Speaker 1: like spit gets into her eye, or like a little
13:21
Speaker 1: drop of blood gets into her eye. But if that's
13:23
Speaker 1: all it takes, then when anybody in these movies be
13:27
Speaker 1: a fucking demon because they get blood all over them,
13:29
Speaker 1: They're like chainsawing each other and half and stuff and
13:32
Speaker 1: blood spraying all over their faces. And the dead Eyes
13:35
Speaker 1: are like puking in their faces and shit half the
13:37
Speaker 1: time and spitting blood all over them. I mean, everybody
13:39
Speaker 1: gets blood all over them in these movies, but this
13:41
Speaker 1: grandma gets like one little tiny drip of blood or
13:44
Speaker 1: on her or something, and she's a fucking dead eye.
13:46
Speaker 1: I don't know. I thought that was pretty dumb too.
13:49
Speaker 1: I know that Sam Raimi, Rob Tapper, and Bruce Campbell
13:52
Speaker 1: have been attached to all these newer Evil Dead movies
13:54
Speaker 1: as well, which is really cool, and that kind of
13:56
Speaker 1: does always spark a little hope for me that maybe
13:59
Speaker 1: they're gonna come out with a good one. But then
14:01
Speaker 1: after remind myself that Sam Raimi did also just make
14:04
Speaker 1: Multiverse of Madness, which is h which kind of fucking sucks.
14:08
Speaker 1: I mean, it's kind of a piece of shit movie.
14:10
Speaker 1: And it's you know, it's a Marvel movie. But at
14:12
Speaker 1: the same time, even as far as Marvel movies go,
14:15
Speaker 1: is pretty fucking bad. So maybe I should go in
14:18
Speaker 1: with the lowest expectations. And I did have pretty low
14:21
Speaker 1: expectations going into this, honestly, which might have helped a
14:25
Speaker 1: little bit. Which and that brings me to my next point.
14:27
Speaker 1: The main character is kind of fucking dumb. I thought
14:30
Speaker 1: the actor did a good job with the role that
14:33
Speaker 1: she was given, but just overall, it was hard for
14:36
Speaker 1: me to believe that this character would even be here.
14:39
Speaker 1: Like she so basically her backstory is that her and
14:42
Speaker 1: her husband, like they run a club together, and he's
14:47
Speaker 1: a dick to her, and she smokes cigarettes a lot
14:50
Speaker 1: and he's like, you gotta quit smoking so that you
14:52
Speaker 1: can have a baby and stuff like that, and she's
14:54
Speaker 1: like like, I don't want to. I'm friends. You know.
14:57
Speaker 1: They keep talking about how he like whoops her asshole
15:00
Speaker 1: time and stuff like that, But they show the same
15:02
Speaker 1: flashback of him like burning her with with like a
15:06
Speaker 1: pot in the kitchen like five or six different times,
15:09
Speaker 1: and it's like one of those slow most scenes where
15:12
Speaker 1: it will show like her looking at her scar on
15:14
Speaker 1: her stomach and she's like fuck, and then it'll cut
15:16
Speaker 1: back to like Mark or whatever his name is, like
15:19
Speaker 1: yelling at her in the kitchen and knocking this thing
15:21
Speaker 1: off the stove and it burns her. I can't remember
15:24
Speaker 1: now if it was like really intentional, like was he
15:27
Speaker 1: did he grab it and like throw it at her
15:29
Speaker 1: or did he you know, they're fighting and he knocked
15:31
Speaker 1: it off and it burned her, and he just didn't
15:33
Speaker 1: really give a shit either way. He's a fucking dickhead,
15:35
Speaker 1: you know, and he sucks and he's like. You get
15:38
Speaker 1: the idea that he's probably whooping her ass because they
15:40
Speaker 1: mention it like a lot throughout the movie, even the
15:42
Speaker 1: other family members when they like get mad at her,
15:45
Speaker 1: when they turn into dead ets, they're just like, oh, yeah,
15:47
Speaker 1: we're glad that Mark was beating your ass all the time,
15:50
Speaker 1: dumb ass, dumb bitch, you probably deserved it and stuff
15:53
Speaker 1: like that, and she's like, no, no, I didn't. And
15:57
Speaker 1: so so you get this whole idea that like, damn,
16:00
Speaker 1: she's been you know, she's been getting there, asked what
16:03
Speaker 1: by her husband, and she's kind of it seems like
16:05
Speaker 1: they're having a pretty rocky relationship as it is, and
16:09
Speaker 1: they might be going in different directions as far as
16:11
Speaker 1: like wanting to have kids go, which is a pretty
16:14
Speaker 1: big decision to make when you're married to somebody. So
16:17
Speaker 1: you just kind of feel like, okay, this relationship. I mean,
16:20
Speaker 1: I get that she feels guilty that he died in
16:24
Speaker 1: a car accident after getting after they get into this
16:26
Speaker 1: big fight and stuff like that, but at the same time,
16:29
Speaker 1: the family also hates the fuck out of her, Like
16:32
Speaker 1: right away, even before they get turned into dead heites
16:35
Speaker 1: and stuff, you can tell right away that like they
16:37
Speaker 1: fucking hate her. They probably are, you know, equally blaming
16:41
Speaker 1: her for their son's death. So why would she agree
16:45
Speaker 1: to go hang out with them in this house for
16:47
Speaker 1: what seems like they're going to be like spending the
16:49
Speaker 1: night together. You think she would show up to the
16:52
Speaker 1: funeral and then be like, I gotta do something else, guys,
16:55
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. But instead she like agrees to go with
16:57
Speaker 1: them and spend the night at the little brother shitty
17:00
Speaker 1: house and you know, basically have everyone talking shit to
17:04
Speaker 1: her the whole time and talking about about how big
17:06
Speaker 1: of a fucking bitch she is and how you know
17:09
Speaker 1: the husband was so good and stuff like that, and
17:11
Speaker 1: it's like it's like, yeah, it's their son. I get
17:14
Speaker 1: why they would be, you know, mourning, mourning him as
17:17
Speaker 1: much as they are and stuff like that, and wanting
17:19
Speaker 1: to honor his memory and whatnot. But she was just
17:23
Speaker 1: getting like a fucking body slam by his ass, you know,
17:26
Speaker 1: a week ago, if if not even sooner than that.
17:29
Speaker 1: So you think she would maybe like I could probably
17:31
Speaker 1: use a break from all of this, but instead she
17:35
Speaker 1: goes she goes there, and then right away she sees
17:38
Speaker 1: all sorts of fucked up shit and she's just kind
17:40
Speaker 1: of like, damn, this is a fucking weird dog. I'm
17:43
Speaker 1: just gonna hang out. I would have been why wouldn't
17:45
Speaker 1: she be fucking piecing out of there like instantly, like
17:47
Speaker 1: get a fake phone call and be like, shit, that's
17:50
Speaker 1: that's my dad. I need to go. He needs help.
17:53
Speaker 1: He fell down. I gotta go help him. Bye, And
17:56
Speaker 1: then you know, get the first fucking bus out of
17:58
Speaker 1: that bitch. Dude place sucks, their house sucks, the whole
18:02
Speaker 1: family sucks. Fuck them. And then and then I think
18:05
Speaker 1: we just made it to the CGI final boss scene. So,
18:09
Speaker 1: like I said, Mark or the husband, whatever, the fuck.
18:11
Speaker 1: His name is Mike or Mark or something. He gets
18:14
Speaker 1: all burnt up in a car accident and dies pretty
18:18
Speaker 1: pretty rough death. He comes back has a burnt to
18:21
Speaker 1: a crisp, slim gym looking ask. Mark comes back looking
18:25
Speaker 1: like the guy off a beetlejuice that's sitting next to
18:28
Speaker 1: him that died smoking cigarettes in his bed. He looks
18:31
Speaker 1: like that. But if that guy was made out of CGI,
18:33
Speaker 1: and he's just like comes like stomping back up to
18:36
Speaker 1: the house after everything, you know, after everybody's gotten killed
18:39
Speaker 1: and they've gotten through the whole fucking family bought like
18:43
Speaker 1: sub boss fight that she's been doing, and she's got
18:45
Speaker 1: the powerful knife, the dead eye knife. Now you know,
18:49
Speaker 1: she's got the main weapon. And this is where she's
18:52
Speaker 1: like running away from him in the woods and shit
18:54
Speaker 1: like that. And he just has the shittiest voice too.
18:58
Speaker 1: Not only does he look like shit, he sounds like shit.
19:00
Speaker 1: He's just like back and you know, doing one of
19:03
Speaker 1: those voices and it's like, fuck you. The other thing
19:06
Speaker 1: that just kind of makes this suck even more is
19:08
Speaker 1: they build this up throughout the entire movie, where you
19:11
Speaker 1: see him come back in the crematorium like before he
19:15
Speaker 1: gets burnt up again. They're just like he like pops
19:18
Speaker 1: out and fucking turns his dad into a dead eye
19:20
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. But the whole movie, the dad's
19:23
Speaker 1: just like, oh yeah, he's coming back marks on his way,
19:27
Speaker 1: and then like the mom's doing it too. I think
19:29
Speaker 1: maybe even before she gets turned into a dead eye.
19:32
Speaker 1: The mom kind of goes evil before she even gets turned.
19:35
Speaker 1: She like lets the dad in before he before he
19:39
Speaker 1: turns her, and they like make out and shit. Even
19:41
Speaker 1: though so the dad like blasts his own head like
19:44
Speaker 1: three times just to show them like how fucked up
19:46
Speaker 1: he is, which is another scene that kind of fucking
19:48
Speaker 1: sucks because it's just like, I don't think this is
19:50
Speaker 1: doing what you think it's doing. It does the slow
19:53
Speaker 1: motion and it's got like the fucking heavy orchestral shit
19:56
Speaker 1: going on, and he's just like shooting himself in the head.
20:00
Speaker 1: Like all right, Bud, it would be cooler if you
20:02
Speaker 1: have like some static X playing right now. Honestly, like
20:05
Speaker 1: this was, I just feel like they got the tone
20:07
Speaker 1: all wrong. This needed a new metal soundtrack, to be
20:10
Speaker 1: completely honest, Not this fucking like heavy dub orchestral shit.
20:14
Speaker 1: We needed some fucking cold, some stain, some see there,
20:17
Speaker 1: some static X, some power Man five thousand. That's what
20:20
Speaker 1: the soundtrack and what the score needed. They should have
20:23
Speaker 1: had Jonathan Davis score this movie, to be completely honest.
20:26
Speaker 1: So they're just always talking about like, oh, he's coming back,
20:28
Speaker 1: he's coming back, he's gonna he's gonna get you or
20:31
Speaker 1: something like that, and she's kind of like, shit, really,
20:34
Speaker 1: And then he does, and he just looks like a
20:35
Speaker 1: crispy ass guy and he basically chases her around the
20:39
Speaker 1: woods into this construction site and he tries to melt
20:41
Speaker 1: her with lava or something, and she's like, oh, but
20:45
Speaker 1: she she beats him. She does get fucked up pretty bad.
20:47
Speaker 1: And I thought the battle that they have was pretty
20:50
Speaker 1: cool between the two of them, but just the way
20:53
Speaker 1: he looks and acts and sounds was very shitty. The
20:57
Speaker 1: last thing I gotta say is the post credit scene
21:00
Speaker 1: sucked my dick. There's two post credit scenes that means
21:03
Speaker 1: twice the suck my dick basically. The first one is
21:07
Speaker 1: a mid credit scene, and I actually left before the
21:09
Speaker 1: second one. I didn't realize there was going to be
21:11
Speaker 1: a second post credit scene. Who the fuck wants to
21:14
Speaker 1: wait around that long? Just put the shit in the
21:17
Speaker 1: actual fucking movie or don't. Honestly, at this point they
21:20
Speaker 1: need to fucking do away with these post credit scenes.
21:22
Speaker 1: It's as dumb as fuck. So anyway, the first one
21:24
Speaker 1: is like the old lady, the grandma, She's like crawling
21:27
Speaker 1: across the road still, and this guy pulls over and
21:30
Speaker 1: he's like, oh, do you need help, bitch, and she's
21:32
Speaker 1: just like and then that's it, and you just kind
21:34
Speaker 1: of see her like fucked up looking eye and it's
21:35
Speaker 1: like kind of a played for laughs type of scene,
21:38
Speaker 1: you know, but at the same time, it's just kind
21:40
Speaker 1: of fucking dumb. It's like, Okay, we're supposed to be
21:42
Speaker 1: laughing at this old lady crawling around the road. Is
21:47
Speaker 1: that funny to you? Whoever the fuck director this movie?
21:50
Speaker 1: What's this guy's name, fucking Sebastian Vanchek? Is that funny? Motherfucker?
21:55
Speaker 1: But anyway, so I left after that one because I
21:57
Speaker 1: was like, damn, that sucks. Just does Also, she's still
22:00
Speaker 1: a dead eye. Why is she crawling around the road
22:02
Speaker 1: like a fucking zombie? Would these dead eyes can like
22:05
Speaker 1: fly in the air and shit and do all this fucking,
22:08
Speaker 1: you know, wild shit. And she's crawling around like a
22:11
Speaker 1: fucking idiot. So I guess the next post credit scene,
22:14
Speaker 1: which this one, I'm really glad I didn't see. I
22:17
Speaker 1: actually saw it on internet later on the internet. It's
22:21
Speaker 1: the fucking it's the Jessica Mom from fucking Evil Dead Rise.
22:26
Speaker 1: I hate this so much. I can't believe they did this.
22:30
Speaker 1: And this apparently was solely a studio request. This was
22:33
Speaker 1: one of those things I guess the director said that
22:36
Speaker 1: this was out of his hands. The agreement was that
22:38
Speaker 1: he could do whatever he wanted with the movie as
22:40
Speaker 1: long as they let the studio do this last post
22:43
Speaker 1: credit scene, and it's I guess. You see the Jessica
22:48
Speaker 1: Mom's ashes and then she fully forms back into her
22:52
Speaker 1: figure from Evil Dead Rise, and she like breaks some
22:55
Speaker 1: little kid's neck in half, and she says, Mommy's back
22:59
Speaker 1: and that. I swear to god, dude, I probably would
23:01
Speaker 1: have fucking thrown my beer at the screen of the
23:04
Speaker 1: movie theater if they would have sold me a beer.
23:06
Speaker 1: But they just had a bunch of little kids working there,
23:08
Speaker 1: so they couldn't even sell me a fucking beer at
23:10
Speaker 1: the movies. I was about I was about to come
23:12
Speaker 1: over the counter on those kids to fucking give the
23:15
Speaker 1: one motherfucker a swirlly and the popcorn machine just get
23:18
Speaker 1: his ass, get his ass with the hot butter. You
23:21
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I want a beer. God, damn it, kids,
23:25
Speaker 1: you're gonna make me watch this movie without drinking a
23:27
Speaker 1: fucking beer. Yeah. I would have shotgun two beers and
23:32
Speaker 1: fucking thrown him at the screen if I would have
23:33
Speaker 1: saw this asshole of a post credit scene. And it doesn't.
23:37
Speaker 1: It makes no fucking sense. I don't give a shit
23:40
Speaker 1: what the fuck you want to say about the Evil
23:42
Speaker 1: Dead movies. If she's burnt into little ashes and an
23:46
Speaker 1: urn or whatever, that's what it sounded like to me,
23:48
Speaker 1: why would she be able to come back as like
23:51
Speaker 1: a full bodied person like I'm pretty sure in most
23:54
Speaker 1: of the other movies, if you dismember somebody, or if
23:57
Speaker 1: you dismember a dead eye, their dead. They're done for.
24:01
Speaker 1: That's it. Apparently in this movie, all it takes is
24:03
Speaker 1: a dishwasher door to get smashed onto somebody's dead eyes
24:07
Speaker 1: head to stop them forever. But she can get cremated
24:11
Speaker 1: into fucking ashes and still come back. What in the
24:14
Speaker 1: fuck are we doing? And obviously the next movie's taking
24:18
Speaker 1: place in the seventies, So why even do this bullshit?
24:21
Speaker 1: Because it's not like the next movie is going to
24:24
Speaker 1: follow this one and she's going to be there as
24:27
Speaker 1: the character or something. Damn damn it. I've lost hope
24:31
Speaker 1: for these fucking Evil Dead movies. I'll probably still go
24:34
Speaker 1: see all of them just in case there's a good one,
24:36
Speaker 1: but this one, Fuck man, this one didn't do anything
24:40
Speaker 1: for me. Really. It just felt like a like a
24:43
Speaker 1: big fuck fest, like a multiverse of assness more like
24:47
Speaker 1: it shit. I give it two and a half out
24:49
Speaker 1: of five. I think as an Evil Dead movie, i'd
24:51
Speaker 1: give it two and a half out of five. Maybe overall.
24:54
Speaker 1: If this wasn't attached to the Evil Dead franchise, I
24:57
Speaker 1: might give it a three out of five. Has some
25:00
Speaker 1: fun moments, and I know I'm kind of been pissing
25:02
Speaker 1: all over the movie or whatever, but it's mostly because
25:06
Speaker 1: of what this franchise could be and what it has
25:09
Speaker 1: been in the past. And I know that's a lot
25:11
Speaker 1: of franchises out there. They can't live up to the
25:13
Speaker 1: past and stuff like that, they can't live up to
25:15
Speaker 1: the ogs. But I feel like if you get the
25:18
Speaker 1: right people behind it, and you get the studios a
25:21
Speaker 1: little bit more removed than they seem to obviously be.
25:25
Speaker 1: You could get some good, evil dead movies still