Latest / We Are More: Sisters Talk Faith & Feminism / Ep 30: Stuck Dating Like It's 1950

Transcript

Ep 30: Stuck Dating Like It's 1950 · We Are More: Sisters Talk Faith & Feminism

• 0:00
  Welcome to the We Are More podcast.
• 0:13
  My name is Alyssa.
• 0:15
  And my name is Bri.
• 0:16
  We are two sisters passionate about all things faith and feminism.
• 0:20
  We believe that Jesus trusted, respected, and encouraged women to teach and preach His
• 0:25
  word.
• 0:26
  And apparently that's controversial.
• 0:28
  Get comfy.
• 0:30
  Hello world.
• 0:34
  Hello.
• 0:36
  Mostly women.
• 0:38
  Oh, I can hear your lungs.
• 0:41
  I am still not better.
• 0:44
  Like I'm on the mend.
• 0:46
  Don't get me wrong.
• 0:47
  I think you're faking it.
• 0:49
  I think this is the end of week four, Brianna.
• 0:51
  You heard my lungs.
• 0:53
  Plagues last a long time.
• 0:56
  They do.
• 0:57
  It's not a great time.
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  Especially when you're a baby about it.
• 1:01
  They said one to three months, but I was like, I'm young, I'm spry.
• 1:06
  It's fine.
• 1:07
  I'm sprightly.
• 1:08
  Turns out I'm not.
• 1:09
  And I don't really appreciate how that makes me feel.
• 1:12
  You're old.
• 1:13
  I'm old.
• 1:14
  I'm old.
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  So today we're going to be talking about dating.
• 1:19
  Yeah.
• 1:20
  So much fun.
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  The wonderful world of dating.
• 1:24
  Which is mostly going to be on Bre because I haven't dated in 12 solid years.
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  And even before that.
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  Did you ever really date?
• 1:31
  I didn't, not really.
• 1:32
  Dating sucks.
• 1:35
  I'm just like, there's a whole crop of women out there who have just decided, not because
• 1:39
  they necessarily want to be single, but they're just like, dating's too hard.
• 1:44
  Forget it.
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  I mean, really, it sounds horrific.
• 1:47
  Yeah, it is.
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  Nathan and I were, I was 19 when we started dating.
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  She was a child bride.
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  I was very, not when I got married, so when we started dating.
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  But I, because I'm old, because I'm elderly, prior to that dating apps had really just
• 2:06
  come out.
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  Yeah.
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  And so I wasn't on, I didn't even have a smartphone at that point.
• 2:11
  I was not on any dating apps ever.
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  So I don't even understand.
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  I know swipe right, swipe left.
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  And that's like the end of my knowledge of dating in the modern day.
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  The modern day of dating.
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  So Brie, for those of us like me that were child brides, tell us what it's like.
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  What is it like to date on the apps?
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  It is offensive.
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  It is terrible.
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  And it's horrible.
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  Those are my adjectives.
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  Those are great.
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  Good adjectives.
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  So I don't know if I'm like the, like, I'm not the biggest dater.
• 2:55
  I'm not going out on dates every second.
• 2:58
  So don't think that about me.
• 2:59
  But I have experienced the dating apps, the Bumble, the Hinge, the Tinder, the what other
• 3:05
  ones are there?
• 3:06
  Girl, I don't know.
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  I don't know.
• 3:10
  But it's really a truly terrible experience.
• 3:12
  And you get a little glimpse into how bad the world really is.
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  It makes me, again, because I never had to deal with this.
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  I dealt with people face to face.
• 3:23
  And it's amazing the difference what men will say to you face to face versus what you've
• 3:29
  said they'll say to you on the apps.
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  Oh yeah, 100%.
• 3:33
  I think there's people find so much power behind their phone.
• 3:38
  Like you might be able to see their face on these dating apps, but they can say whatever
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  they want.
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  So the most experience that I have is on, and please don't go on the apps looking for
• 3:49
  me.
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  Like just leave me be.
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  But Hinge, considering that I think most of our listeners are women.
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  I mean, they could still.
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  Don't come looking for me, ladies.
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  But I don't think that's how your profile is set up.
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  Unless you're very old and close to death and have a lot of money and you're interested
• 4:05
  in a friendship.
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  But I'm on Hinge mostly and they have prompts that you can answer about yourself.
• 4:14
  Like this is what I'm looking for in a person and here's two truths and a lie or whatever.
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  Just like different things that you can...
• 4:21
  And those go in your profile?
• 4:22
  Yeah.
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  Whereas Tinder I think is more like mostly pictures.
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  Back in the day with my experience with that.
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  Back in the day mostly pictures.
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  But yeah, guys will put on their profiles like these whole lists of stipulations.
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  Huge, huge lists of, I want a woman who loves the Lord and knows how to cook and is athletic,
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  but also she likes to be lazy, but also she wants 47 children.
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  But also she also has to have a career and be ambitious.
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  But she also has to listen to me because I'm the man.
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  Fun.
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  It's so hard to be a woman.
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  Whereas like, now I haven't looked at other women's profiles, but I know just from my
• 5:09
  friends and myself, we're just looking for someone who isn't terrible.
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  The worst?
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  Just some of my fun experiences.
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  Just because we're in the first couple of minutes, here you can laugh at my sad tragedies.
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  One time I was talking to this guy and we had agreed to go out on a date and before
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  we went out on the date, he wanted to like talk on the phone.
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  I'm like, don't want to do that.
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  But I'll meet you in real life.
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  So we're talking on the phone and for some reason he's walking around his house and he's
• 5:47
  like, wow, look at this.
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  I'm going to send you a picture real quick.
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  And I'm like, okay.
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  This is a painting that I did when I was in second grade.
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  Oh boy.
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  And it really is like that pointillism art in second grade.
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  Where it's just like little dots of like a leopard or something.
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  And I'm like, okay.
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  So he colored in one of those Lisa Frank drawings.
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  Exactly.
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  Cool.
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  And then he also sent me a picture of him as a toddler and he played a song on the piano
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  and sent it to me and it was truly terrible.
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  And I thought, no thank you.
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  I can appreciate that someday you will find a lid to your pot, but no thank you.
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  It won't be me.
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  It shan't be me.
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  Wasn't there a guy recently that, boys out there, if you talk to Bree, we're talking
• 6:41
  about you on the podcast.
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  So prepare yourselves.
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  That said he'd like run over his grandmother or something horrifying.
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  Yes.
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  Let me pull up the screen shot.
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  So on Hinge, you can like like someone and you can send them a message, but in order
• 6:55
  for you to chat back and forth, they have to like you back.
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  This particular person, I did not like back.
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  Let's see.
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  Michael.
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  Here we go, Michael.
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  Don't say his name.
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  I'm not saying his last name, but if you're going to be creepy, I'm going to put you on
• 7:11
  blast.
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  He said, I would throw my grandma down a flight of stairs, crawl butt naked, and then throw
• 7:19
  butt naked across broken glass and roll around in salt to take you out.
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  Keep in mind, there's no grammar.
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  I just, I want to understand.
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  I'm sure this is like a pickup line that he found somewhere on the internet, but I want
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  to understand what went through his brain that was like, this is going to get this girl
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  to talk to me.
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  Like what has happened here?
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  I don't know.
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  Cause I can't call this a man.
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  This is, I don't know what's happening here.
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  And what's even more frustrating is that they're like, they think that they are the moon and
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  the stars.
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  They think they're the greatest of all time.
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  And meanwhile, they're like, I'm in between jobs and I'm confused, but I also want a woman
• 8:07
  who does this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this.
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  Right.
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  One of the things I've seen online a lot, and I am not a proponent of traditional living
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  and things like that, obviously if you've listened to the podcast at all.
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  But one of the things that I've seen online is that men talk so much about wanting this
• 8:25
  traditional lifestyle and they're like, well, then you need to be the man from that story.
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  Now, again, I'm not a proponent of this, but if you're going to say, this is a lifestyle
• 8:38
  that I want to live, then you need to be making enough money that her needing a job is not
• 8:45
  necessary.
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  Not only not necessary, but it can afford you going on vacation and all your kids' many
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  sports that she has to tote them around to and her gym membership and all of this other
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  stuff.
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  Like, that's all on you, buddy.
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  And that's not a way that I'm saying that you should necessarily live, but if you're
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  as a man going to push for that, then there are actually expectations on you too.
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  You don't just get off scot-free.
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  But I feel like these kinds of boys feel like, well, yeah, I'm just going to get a mom.
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  I'm going to get a mom and she's just going to take care of me.
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  That's how it feels on these dating apps is these boys out here are looking for a housekeeper
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  or a mother.
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  And I'm just, I think a lot of the women out there are opening their eyes, you know, my
• 9:41
  single woman out there, are opening their eyes and being like, no, you're not adding
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  any value to my life.
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  You are leaving.
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  Goodbye.
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  Well, I think, and if we put this in the Christian context, Christian women have this expectation
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  put on them in even a bigger way.
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  Not that non-Christian women don't have it put on them, because they for sure do, but
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  Christian women have it put on them as though if you don't want to live this way, if you're
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  not fine with this list of rules and you must be under this many pounds also, you know,
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  whatever, then God is pissed at you.
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  Then you don't get to go to heaven.
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  You don't get to be a good wife.
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  You don't get to whatever.
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  And I think that's where it becomes even more manipulative.
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  Not that it wasn't manipulative before, but where it becomes even worse.
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  I saw a TikTok of a girl, and I've been watching, because we've been planning on doing this
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  episode, I've been watching a lot of people respond to other videos.
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  So it'll be like, there's one, he calls himself Speech Prof, and he will go on and react to,
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  the best way I can describe it is like, bro podcast.
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  I don't know, he really reacts to a lot of stuff.
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  They're these self proclaimed alpha male garbage humans.
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  So he'll go on and respond to that.
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  Or there's another woman on here that I, she does a really similar thing.
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  She's always in her bathroom, and I'm not clear as to why.
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  She's got IBS.
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  Leave her be!
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  That's where she's, she's got to live her life there.
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  She's working from home on her toilet.
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  I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do.
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  But she did one, and she was reacting to this young guy, okay, like these are not all of
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  them, but a ton of them.
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  In their early 20s, I'm sorry, you think you have life figured out in your early 20s, and
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  relationships figured out?
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  You do not, just you wait.
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  You just super do not.
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  Even if you're in a healthy marriage, I did not have relationships figured out in my early
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  20s, but it was this man child, and he was on there and he had his laundry list of like
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  this is what I expect out of my woman, you know, whatever, because it's never a respectful
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  my partner, my spouse, my wife, my woman.
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  It's always that.
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  Like you have ownership.
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  Exactly.
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  And so he has his laundry list of whatever, and he's like, and this is how it's supposed
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  to be.
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  This is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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  And she actually went through, because he said, I'm not looking for a mom, I'm looking for
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  a wife, and this is what she needs to do.
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  And so this woman reacting to it, she goes, actually, everything you just described is
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  what a parent would do, is what a mom would do.
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  And your brain is thinking back to when you were a child, and your mom made you dinner,
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  and it was comforting, and it was pleasant and lovely, and your mom tucked you in at
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  night and, you know, did all these things, and you woke up and the house was clean, and
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  you woke up and all the Christmas gifts were wrapped, and you didn't have to do anything
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  to make those things a reality, because you were a child.
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  And yes, for many of us, those are nice memories.
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  Yeah, absolutely.
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  Those are comforting moments.
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  But the reality is, you are now an adult.
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  And so when you put all of this on someone else and take no responsibility yourself,
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  now A, you're a garbage human, and B, you're telling your partner she doesn't actually
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  have any value to you other than what she can do for you.
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  Right.
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  Yeah.
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  So you are looking for a mom.
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  You just don't want to admit to the fact that you're looking for a mom.
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  And I don't know about you, but I'm not in the business of being...
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  I got two kids.
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  I don't want to be anyone else's mother.
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  I'm not a mother currently, and I don't want to be anybody's mother right now.
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  I kind of think it's a lot harder to be a man child's mother than it is to be a child's
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  mother.
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  There's actually a really good show.
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  Now I'm only like two episodes in, so keep that in mind.
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  I don't know how it ends up.
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  But it's called, has the girl from S-Words Creek?
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  Ah, yes.
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  This show is called Kevin Can F Himself.
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  Oh, that one.
• 14:12
  I wanted to watch that.
• 14:13
  Yeah.
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  So I started it the other day.
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  And everything from the man's perspective, so she's supposed to be married, and her husband,
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  whenever it's from his perspective, it's a sitcom.
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  Everything is funny.
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  Everything is great.
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  But when it's from her perspective or she's alone, it's kind of like a drama.
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  And it's very interesting.
• 14:36
  It's a good insight into...
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  Now it's dramatized.
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  I think that might be some people's reality.
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  I think it's an interesting show.
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  But something else I want to talk about with online dating for women specifically is the
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  safety issue.
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  So I've run into it a couple times where you just don't feel comfortable.
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  Especially online dating, you're going to meet someone that you have not met before.
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  Your friends don't know this person.
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  So you're always telling your friends a safe word or sharing your location.
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  I don't know how many men are having to share their location with their friends when they
• 15:09
  go out on a date, but that's a woman's reality.
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  And I got a message from someone who was like, hey, do you drive a blah, blah, blah car out
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  of nowhere?
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  And I do.
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  I do drive that blah, blah, blah car.
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  And so I just wanted to keep tabs on this person.
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  You can only respond back if you like the person back.
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  So I did.
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  And I was like, just a casual question.
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  Are you stalking me?
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  And his response was just ridiculous.
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  He goes, no, one, I'm not like that.
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  Two, I haven't had a reason to go to blah, blah, blah since February.
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  So like in your area.
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  Right.
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  So he's just like immediately trying to justify, of course not.
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  Here's two reasons why I'm not.
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  Yeah.
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  Do you actually drive that question mark?
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  So frightening.
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  It was really bizarre.
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  Also for that to be the first message somebody sends you is wildly specific.
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  Yeah.
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  Now this could be nothing.
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  It could be just out of the blue.
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  I was trying to pick a blind or whatever.
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  Or you could have seen it in the back of one of your pictures or whatever.
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  A woman's reality is that you always have to be suspicious.
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  Of course, not all men are like that.
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  Not all men are stalkers, but there's enough men out there.
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  But there's a percentage.
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  Yeah.
• 16:35
  Well, I think there was a survey that they did and they asked men, what is your biggest
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  fear when online dating?
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  And the overwhelming majority of them said something to the effect of, she won't like
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  me when she meets me, she'll reject me.
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  Okay, that's valid.
• 16:55
  Rejection is a fair...
• 16:56
  Yeah.
• 16:57
  Yeah.
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  Not invalidating that in any way.
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  But when they spoke to the women, the overwhelming majority of them said, being murdered.
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  And that's so true.
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  I've been on dates where I'm like, yeah, I don't want to go on a second date with this
• 17:15
  person.
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  But you almost don't want to tell that person right to their face when you're there.
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  Because you're scared of them.
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  Because you're scared.
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  Because we have to as women, particularly in the dating scene, and I'm saying this obviously
• 17:28
  empathetically, but we have to be scared of you until we decide if we don't have to.
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  It's like the courtroom, you're innocent until proven guilty.
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  But the opposite.
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  You're guilty until I have a reason to feel safe around you.
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  And that might sound really extreme, but the reality is if we don't behave that way, we
• 17:57
  will get murdered.
• 17:58
  Yeah, there's a huge percentage of women that wind up as victims because men often don't
• 18:06
  treat women with value.
• 18:09
  And so we have to assume that you're one of those men until you give us a reason not to.
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  And that's a really tough way to live life.
• 18:15
  I mean, October was domestic violence awareness month.
• 18:21
  And some of the statistics on there, if you ever just like go and Google those are crazy.
• 18:26
  A huge, huge percentage of the murders throughout the year, last year, are from women who are
• 18:37
  trying to escape their abusers.
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  And more often than not, it's that they knew that person or they were romantically involved
• 18:44
  in some way with them.
• 18:47
  So you do have to be careful when you're going out on these dates with random people because
• 18:52
  they can say whatever they want on their phones.
• 18:54
  Oh, you can turn yourself into the King of England.
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  Oh yeah.
• 18:58
  Whoever you want to be, you get to be.
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  And I do think women do that as well.
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  But again, the risk for women is very different than the risk for men because statistically
• 19:10
  women don't murder men at the same rate.
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  Like it's just not happening.
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  So it's just a different game that you're playing.
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  You have different risks and I don't think you see these men get really angry when they
• 19:25
  get rejected or whatever and it's like you don't understand what you're dealing with.
• 19:31
  You're allowed to be sad.
• 19:35
  And even maybe you're allowed to be angry if you feel rejected, but you're not allowed
• 19:38
  to push that anger onto the other person.
• 19:42
  They are allowed to reject you.
• 19:44
  They are allowed to have their own feelings and they don't have to justify them.
• 19:49
  Now one of the things I wanted to talk about because we're a religious podcast and Brie
• 19:55
  and I have grown up seeing dating differently and being taught about dating differently.
• 20:01
  I was given a book when I was 13, 14-ish, somewhere in there.
• 20:09
  I was given a book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye.
• 20:12
  Oh, I never read that book because I'm illiterate, but I remember that book.
• 20:16
  So if you've never heard of it, if you were a Christian kid in the early 2000s, you absolutely
• 20:22
  probably heard about this book.
• 20:23
  It was every youth service, parents were into it, whatever.
• 20:28
  The author has since totally turned around on it and said it was terrible, it ruined
• 20:33
  his life, he feels like he's ruined other people's lives.
• 20:36
  It was a very detrimental book, particularly for girls, but it talks about courting instead
• 20:44
  of dating.
• 20:46
  That's what was presented to us from a lot of different avenues, from church, from family,
• 20:52
  from the people around us.
• 20:55
  That was the ideal.
• 20:58
  As a good Christian girl, you should want to court, not date.
• 21:04
  So I looked up courting versus dating so I can give you guys a quick overview of it.
• 21:08
  Because if you're not from this conservative Christian world, you're like, excuse me, I'm
• 21:13
  not back in the medieval times.
• 21:16
  This is an infographic that I found and it says courting versus dating.
• 21:21
  So I'm not saying that I agree with these things about dating, but this is what it says.
• 21:27
  So courting.
• 21:29
  Courting is like a promise to make a commitment to marriage.
• 21:33
  If you're confused, there you go.
• 21:36
  Essentially it's saying that courting is planning on marrying this person.
• 21:42
  You go into the beginning of the relationship planning on marrying this person until they
• 21:47
  give you a really good reason not to.
• 21:50
  And then it says dating.
• 21:51
  Dating doesn't account for readiness into marriage or long-term commitment.
• 21:56
  Now that is not grammatically correct, boys and girls, but that is what it says.
• 21:59
  So essentially when you start out courting, you're planning on marrying this person until
• 22:03
  they give you a reason not to.
• 22:05
  When you start out dating, you're not planning on marrying this person until they give you
• 22:09
  a reason to.
• 22:10
  So it's flipped.
• 22:12
  So then courting is no physical intimacy.
• 22:15
  And that depends on the severity of that.
• 22:19
  Depends on what kind of conservative Christian you were.
• 22:22
  It could go for anywhere from don't have sex before marriage to never hold a boy's hand.
• 22:29
  Don't kiss until you're literally in your marriage ceremony.
• 22:33
  Never be alone in the room with this person.
• 22:35
  Right.
• 22:36
  You have to have a chaperone anytime you go out.
• 22:38
  Even if you're well into your 30s, 40s, okay?
• 22:41
  That's the expectation sometimes for people that are courting.
• 22:45
  It depends on the extremeness.
• 22:47
  And then it says dating, not waiting until marriage is acceptable.
• 22:50
  It doesn't say what, waiting until marriage.
• 22:54
  Okay, courting, it says usually lasts up to a year.
• 22:59
  Dating no timeline.
• 23:02
  In my mind, I don't really know why.
• 23:05
  Now we got engaged in eight months.
• 23:08
  We got married eight months later.
• 23:09
  It was very quick.
• 23:11
  But I wouldn't prescribe that to other people.
• 23:13
  That's not something that I would say, this is the ideal and everyone should do this.
• 23:17
  Well, because everybody's different.
• 23:20
  Everybody's relationship is different.
• 23:22
  Everybody's relationship with relationships is different.
• 23:26
  Now here's a big one that I, the next two ones are big ones.
• 23:31
  So courting, family must give permission.
• 23:35
  Red flag.
• 23:36
  Yeah.
• 23:37
  Red flag.
• 23:38
  That to me just screams, again, someone has to be an owner of this woman.
• 23:42
  She can't have any rights of her own.
• 23:44
  She can't make up her own mind.
• 23:46
  Exactly.
• 23:47
  It's all about power and men desperately trying to keep that power.
• 23:51
  Now this is usually, I'm going to say usually because obviously every situation is different,
• 23:56
  but usually it's the girl's father giving permission.
• 24:02
  No one's asking permission of the boy's mother or father.
• 24:06
  Exactly.
• 24:07
  He's making his own decisions, but then someone has to approve him for her.
• 24:13
  So yeah, this can be incredibly abused.
• 24:18
  Yes.
• 24:19
  It's just extremely concerning because of course you want, not everyone, many people
• 24:28
  want their family to like their partner or their significant other.
• 24:33
  Many people do.
• 24:34
  That's a common, I want my family to like Nathan.
• 24:37
  Of course you do.
• 24:38
  Unfortunately I don't.
• 24:40
  You are weirdly similar.
• 24:42
  I don't know what to tell you.
• 24:45
  But the difference is I want you to like my partner versus will you give me permission
• 24:53
  to court this person because it's not dating, courting.
• 24:58
  That's a big difference.
• 24:59
  Now if you were dating someone, and same with me, if I'm dating someone and my family notices
• 25:05
  red flags on that person, please absolutely come to me and share those out of love and
• 25:10
  concern.
• 25:11
  But ultimately the decision is up to me because it's my life, it's my relationship, I get
• 25:18
  to make the decisions.
• 25:20
  You do not.
• 25:22
  But in this world of courting, you don't get to make those decisions.
• 25:27
  It would be dad saying, you'd bring whoever to dad and say-
• 25:34
  Justin, record me.
• 25:38
  His childhood crush.
• 25:39
  We had a poster of him on our wall.
• 25:40
  I called him my husband for longer than I should have.
• 25:44
  Ages.
• 25:45
  I think you referenced that fairly recently.
• 25:47
  I still consider him my husband.
• 25:50
  But you'd bring Jessi on in.
• 25:53
  And dad could say yes or no.
• 25:56
  A definitive yes or no.
• 26:00
  And if it's yes, remember the expectation is that you are going to marry this person.
• 26:07
  You haven't dated them.
• 26:08
  Exactly.
• 26:09
  I feel like it's just not good for women or for men.
• 26:12
  It's really not.
• 26:13
  Because you don't give each other a chance to get to know each other without that burden
• 26:18
  of I need to marry this person right now.
• 26:20
  And if there's something that I don't like about this person, is it enough to make me
• 26:24
  not marry them?
• 26:25
  I'm not sure.
• 26:26
  Whereas when you're dating, you have the opportunity to slowly get to know this person.
• 26:32
  There might be a couple of things that pop up that you might not agree with, but you're
• 26:36
  like okay, move on.
• 26:39
  Well, I think you create...
• 26:43
  Christians always say having sex before marriage creates this bond between two people.
• 26:49
  And then if you break up, it makes it so much harder.
• 26:51
  So that was an argument that I always heard as a kid.
• 26:53
  However, I think courting does the same exact thing.
• 26:57
  You've created this extreme bond right from the get go.
• 27:01
  We are going to get married unless you do something heinous.
• 27:05
  Unless you murder some people and whatever.
• 27:09
  We are going to get married, so I'm going to gloss over all these red flags and whatever.
• 27:13
  And it's that same bond in a different way.
• 27:17
  And now should you have to break up, you're now breaking up with someone you were going
• 27:22
  to marry.
• 27:23
  It's a bond that has no foundation.
• 27:25
  Right, yes.
• 27:27
  It's a bond that doesn't make any sense.
• 27:29
  It's like building a house on sand, right?
• 27:33
  Just when you're dating, you want to build that foundation first and then grow to marriage.
• 27:40
  So the last point that they have is the same kind of thing.
• 27:45
  So the man is usually the one to approach the woman and court her.
• 27:50
  So I think that from my...
• 27:53
  Now I never courted at all, but from my experience seeing other people do it, that's like 100%
• 27:59
  of the time.
• 28:00
  The girl is never going to approach the guy.
• 28:04
  Now I think in dating now, oftentimes that's still kind of there.
• 28:09
  The guy still is approaching, but it's not like you have to.
• 28:13
  I think that's the one good thing with online dating and apps is it's kind of flip-flopped.
• 28:21
  You can like a person, they can like you.
• 28:24
  On some of the apps, like I think it's Bumble, the girl has to initiate the conversation
• 28:31
  within a certain amount of hours or days.
• 28:34
  Otherwise, that match goes away.
• 28:37
  I'm not an expert on dating, but I'm on there.
• 28:42
  Yeah, I just remember, and I don't know if you remember this, but there were all of these
• 28:50
  purity culture and I'm not going to go all the way into it.
• 28:53
  But the amount of seminars, and I don't think they called them seminars, but you'd go to
• 29:01
  youth group or not kids church, but youth service or whatever.
• 29:08
  There was so much pressure particularly put on the girls of this is how you need to date.
• 29:17
  The courting is the ideal way that you need to date to find a good Christian husband that
• 29:22
  will lead you and make you spiritually sound and blah, blah, blah.
• 29:28
  Just a poor little lady.
• 29:30
  There was so much of that even in what I would say were pretty modern churches.
• 29:35
  Oh yeah, we went to a purity retreat.
• 29:37
  Oh yeah, what a funny phrase, a purity retreat.
• 29:41
  I remember specifically them talking about girls and every time you have sex with a different
• 29:48
  boy or kiss a different boy, imagine that a piece of your heart goes away with everything
• 29:55
  or here's a vase full of little marbles and every time you hold someone's hand, you give
• 30:00
  someone a kiss, you take away a marble.
• 30:03
  And then by the time you finally get around to meeting your perfect husband, you're going
• 30:08
  to be an empty vessel and nobody will want you.
• 30:10
  And you'll have nothing to give him.
• 30:13
  The same is not said to boys.
• 30:15
  Not even a little bit.
• 30:17
  These are said, they're told you just can't control your emotions.
• 30:21
  It's okay if you go and rake your way across the nation.
• 30:27
  That's just an expectation.
• 30:29
  But when it comes down to settling down and finding a wife, you want to find that perfectly
• 30:35
  pure snowflake.
• 30:37
  I just feel like it's so dangerous to girls to be constantly compared to anything other
• 30:44
  than a human being person.
• 30:45
  Oh, it's constantly objects.
• 30:48
  Your value and worth does not, it does not matter if you've done the deed or whatever,
• 30:57
  held hands or kissed or whatever it is.
• 31:01
  You are enough.
• 31:02
  You are perfect.
• 31:03
  And if you decide to take a spouse, that won't matter because they're going to see you for
• 31:10
  who you are.
• 31:11
  Kat, for more than just your physical history.
• 31:15
  Exactly.
• 31:16
  Like women get compared to used cars all the time.
• 31:20
  I've heard it been said, oh, you wouldn't want to buy a new car without test driving
• 31:25
  it first, right guys?
• 31:27
  Yeah, but then think of- I'm not a car.
• 31:30
  Think of the opposite of that.
• 31:31
  You do see people say that, but then now she's a used car.
• 31:36
  And now you don't want her anyway because she's a used car.
• 31:40
  Who would buy a used car when you could buy a new car?
• 31:43
  Women are just people.
• 31:44
  We're just people.
• 31:45
  We're just people.
• 31:46
  Just normal humans.
• 31:48
  We have emotions too.
• 31:49
  Yeah, we have urges too.
• 31:51
  Thank you for that.
• 31:52
  You're welcome.
• 31:53
  Did I make everybody uncomfortable?
• 31:54
  Sorry about that.
• 31:55
  Sorry about all the family.
• 31:58
  I'm really against purity culture in general.
• 32:03
  I think we should be teaching both men and women about a lot of things.
• 32:10
  I think we need to teach people to value each other.
• 32:14
  Exactly.
• 32:15
  And not to be so incredibly, horrifically judgmental.
• 32:19
  Value each other, but really also value yourself.
• 32:23
  I think that is what I'm seeing a lot on the dating apps is just people struggling because
• 32:30
  they think that they're not enough.
• 32:33
  Yeah.
• 32:34
  And if we could just teach people that it really doesn't matter if you're in a relationship
• 32:39
  or not.
• 32:40
  You just have to find that fulfillment in yourself.
• 32:43
  And then we'd have a lot more single people out there.
• 32:45
  But we'd be very happy.
• 32:47
  I've had this conversation with even my husband often.
• 32:52
  And again, we've been together a long time.
• 32:55
  But to find value in who you are as a person.
• 33:00
  And I think in dating, if you could do that, if you could say, I'm valuable enough to say
• 33:05
  my needs are this.
• 33:08
  Not to have a laundry list of qualifications for your person, but to say that as a person,
• 33:15
  I need someone who loves me unconditionally.
• 33:19
  I need someone who finds value in this.
• 33:22
  In our case, I need someone that will go to Disney with me a minimum of once a year, potentially
• 33:28
  more, and just be fine with that.
• 33:32
  Or is okay with us having a very aggressive feminist podcast.
• 33:36
  Also that and never leaving each other.
• 33:41
  We have this pact, okay guys?
• 33:43
  I have said a million times, should Brie decide to take a husband, I will have a long, long
• 33:50
  lecture with him that he is not allowed to take her any more than maybe a 10 minute drive
• 33:57
  from me and frankly, I'll be bitter about that.
• 33:59
  If you're more than down the road, I'm going to be bitter.
• 34:02
  So men out there.
• 34:04
  If you want a date Brie.
• 34:06
  Potential suitors.
• 34:07
  Here are the rules.
• 34:08
  Hey, I do have, well, I don't know if he's stalking you or me, but we did have a stalker
• 34:13
  on the TikTok.
• 34:14
  Oh, we did.
• 34:15
  I ended up blocking him.
• 34:16
  Yeah, probably for the best.
• 34:17
  Hey Stalky.
• 34:18
  And that's another thing I think is interesting for women.
• 34:23
  And this is a little bit of an offshoot, but on social media, when women jump into men's
• 34:31
  comments and say like, oh, you're so hot.
• 34:33
  I would love to date you.
• 34:36
  You know, whatever, whatever the comments are.
• 34:38
  It's not necessarily threatening.
• 34:40
  Now I'm maybe it is to some men, I don't know, but it's not necessarily threatening.
• 34:44
  Whereas we had somebody hop onto our TikTok and comment on quite a few things wanting
• 34:50
  to talk to us.
• 34:52
  And again, I don't know who he wanted to talk to, but it felt very threatening because of
• 34:59
  what women experience online.
• 35:02
  There's a really good movie out right now.
• 35:03
  It just came out on Netflix called Woman of the Hour.
• 35:08
  I think.
• 35:09
  That sounds right.
• 35:10
  Anna Kendrick.
• 35:11
  It's her directing debut, but she also stars in it.
• 35:13
  And it's about, that's the dating game killer.
• 35:18
  His name is pause for dramatic effect.
• 35:21
  His name was Rodney Alcala and he was a serial killer.
• 35:30
  Kind of happened in the seventies, late seventies, but he is most well known for showing up on
• 35:35
  one of those dating game shows.
• 35:37
  Which the boldness, I mean, I know, crap.
• 35:40
  I know.
• 35:41
  Well, that's the thing is like most serial killers are narcissists and they think that
• 35:44
  they can get away with anything.
• 35:47
  But I really like how Anna Kendrick directed it because a lot of those shows or movies
• 35:54
  about serial killers try to get deep into the mind of the serial killer.
• 35:59
  This one kind of put it in perspective of more of the victims, more of the female experience
• 36:05
  with that.
• 36:06
  So a couple of things that I really liked with it was Anna Kendrick played the contestant
• 36:11
  on the dating game.
• 36:14
  And at first all of the people were telling her what questions to ask and change her personality,
• 36:21
  change her dress, make sure her hair is perfect, whatever.
• 36:24
  And then finally her hairdresser and makeup dresser came up to her at some commercial
• 36:28
  break and was like, just ask whatever questions you want.
• 36:31
  So then she started getting a little feisty and she started calling out these three guys
• 36:36
  for who they were, which was one was stupid.
• 36:39
  One was inappropriate and the other one was a murderer.
• 36:41
  She just didn't know it.
• 36:43
  That sounds about par for the course for online dating.
• 36:46
  So one of the questions she asked was what are girls for?
• 36:53
  And I thought that was really powerful.
• 36:56
  And all three of the men kind of struggled with the question.
• 37:00
  And then she asked her makeup artists at another break, how do you think I'm doing?
• 37:04
  And she's like, oh, you're doing good.
• 37:06
  The question, the underlying question is always the same.
• 37:09
  She goes, what's that?
• 37:10
  And she goes, which one of you is going to hurt me?
• 37:14
  And that is the underlying question with, I would say most women in the dating world
• 37:19
  right now is which one of you is going to hurt me?
• 37:23
  And we're not just talking emotionally here.
• 37:24
  We're talking physically.
• 37:27
  Which one of you is going to put me in danger?
• 37:31
  And I think that men just cannot wrap their heads around that.
• 37:35
  Like when we've said we would choose the bear over a man in the forest, they're like, why?
• 37:40
  Not all men are like that.
• 37:41
  But it doesn't matter because a lot of men are and now we have to be wary of all of you.
• 37:46
  And the ones that are not dangerous don't take us seriously.
• 37:49
  Well, I think that's the sad thing is there are plenty of good men out there and we're
• 37:55
  actually going to do an episode on what makes a good man soon.
• 37:59
  I'm excited about that one.
• 38:00
  But there are plenty of good men out there.
• 38:03
  The simple reality is that I can sit and tell a man my experience.
• 38:10
  I can tell him I've been disrespected by men in this way.
• 38:14
  I've been talked down to like this.
• 38:17
  You can say I've been made to feel unsafe in dating like this.
• 38:21
  I can say I've had to run to my car in the dark with my keys in my hands.
• 38:27
  We can explain all these things.
• 38:30
  But the simple reality is I can't make you understand it because you've never experienced
• 38:35
  it.
• 38:36
  Exactly.
• 38:37
  So trust and believe when I say I have experienced this and I would choose the bear.
• 38:45
  Have enough value of me as a person to say you're telling me the truth.
• 38:50
  So even though I can't empathize, I'm just going to take it at face value.
• 38:56
  Stop arguing with women about their own experiences.
• 38:59
  Exactly.
• 39:00
  For heaven's sake.
• 39:01
  Exactly.
• 39:02
  One of the things that happened in the movie was one of the girls in the audience was sitting
• 39:07
  there and recognized the guy who was the killer and said I think that he killed my friend.
• 39:14
  Wow.
• 39:15
  So she went to-
• 39:16
  I wonder if that really happened in real life.
• 39:17
  I know.
• 39:18
  I think it might be a dramatization.
• 39:19
  Dramatization?
• 39:20
  Yeah.
• 39:21
  Sure.
• 39:22
  So she runs crying out to her car and her boyfriend comes out and he's like what's going
• 39:25
  on?
• 39:26
  She's like I know that guy and I think he's a killer.
• 39:28
  And he patronizes her and it was like it's fine.
• 39:32
  I'm sure it's not.
• 39:34
  You're just overreacting.
• 39:35
  I know that was hard for you to go through but it's fine.
• 39:39
  And she's like get out of my car.
• 39:40
  Get out of my car.
• 39:41
  So then she does the best that she can do and tries to go talk to the security guard
• 39:45
  at the studio.
• 39:48
  And he doesn't believe her either and he's like whatever.
• 39:50
  Yeah, I'll have you talk to whoever's in charge of the show.
• 39:53
  Come with me.
• 39:54
  He'll be in here soon.
• 39:55
  And she's waiting and she's waiting and she's waiting.
• 39:57
  And he lied to her and gave her the name of the janitor.
• 40:01
  So the last part of the movie was this Rodney guy got a hold of this runaway girl who was
• 40:08
  young.
• 40:10
  And he tried to kill her out in the desert.
• 40:12
  Wasn't super successful but she did the best that she could do in that moment and said
• 40:16
  it's okay.
• 40:17
  Can you just not tell my friends about this?
• 40:19
  I just don't want them to know.
• 40:21
  And so she kind of acted like she was the girlfriend to try to get herself out of that
• 40:26
  situation.
• 40:27
  So she's driving to a gas station, he gets out to go to the bathroom, she runs away and
• 40:29
  calls the cops and that's how they ended up catching him.
• 40:34
  But that's how women have to survive.
• 40:38
  And I've seen you do this too.
• 40:42
  No fault at all but that you have to say to the guy, oh yeah I had a great time, it was
• 40:47
  so nice, whatever.
• 40:49
  And then knowing full well that you don't want to go on another date.
• 40:53
  And men will look at that and say, oh she's terrible, she's lying to me, she's a liar,
• 41:00
  she could have just told me to my face, blah blah blah.
• 41:02
  But again, you don't understand what, and you and I haven't been through major violence
• 41:10
  in this scenario like many women have.
• 41:13
  But even within that, I mean I've had inappropriate comments from the cashier at Meyer.
• 41:21
  I've been afraid in many scenarios, just live in a normal life.
• 41:28
  Not an overly violent life, not a life where I'm gonna point at things and be like, oh
• 41:34
  look at this massive trauma.
• 41:37
  And even so, even within that, there's still all of these little microaggressions against
• 41:44
  us just walking around as women.
• 41:47
  Just trying to live life for heaven's sake.
• 41:50
  And then if you are too nice too, you have to be careful about being too nice because
• 41:56
  now those guys are gonna think that you're flirting with them.
• 42:00
  That's definitely happened to me where they mistake just being kind as, oh they must love
• 42:05
  me.
• 42:06
  Well I think it's because women have had to be so standoffish, so when the occasional
• 42:14
  woman is nicer, it's like, she's being attention to me.
• 42:22
  What an unhealthy way to view women as well.
• 42:26
  The moment that any kindness is shown, it's, oh she likes me.
• 42:31
  Or the moment that you have a conversation alone with any man, really, you're like, oh
• 42:35
  I feel like this is inappropriate.
• 42:37
  Because he's going to think something and I can't control it.
• 42:42
  I can't always walk away.
• 42:45
  So just dating is hard.
• 42:48
  Dating is hard.
• 42:51
  This is again a little bit of topic, but kind of on topic.
• 42:57
  When we talk about men wanting these traditional marriages, first of all, I want to make the
• 43:04
  point that traditional doesn't actually mean anything.
• 43:10
  What you want is a 1950s marriage.
• 43:12
  Exactly.
• 43:13
  And there are so many historians, including our best friend Beth, who have looked at this
• 43:20
  and said, okay, traditional to these people, to this subsect of people, the men that are
• 43:29
  looking for a mom or a traditional housewife, they're looking at, like you said, the 1950s.
• 43:36
  This was a period that was kind of an anomaly in history.
• 43:40
  So it wasn't even all of the 1950s.
• 43:43
  I think it was about eight years in there somewhere where this more stay at home wife,
• 43:50
  hardworking husband that comes home at five and kicks his feet up and she has her pearls
• 43:56
  on and makes dinner.
• 43:58
  It really was only the reality for some people for a span of eight-ish years.
• 44:06
  Traditional shouldn't mean you get to just pick a time period and say, this is what makes
• 44:12
  sense because then you have to keep going back further.
• 44:16
  The further you go back, women are expected to have jobs.
• 44:22
  There was a small blip in American history where that was maybe not the case, but the
• 44:28
  further back you go, women have to have jobs to support and help their families.
• 44:34
  Also people of different demographics, people of different races, people outside of the
• 44:39
  United States all had to do these things.
• 44:43
  They weren't expected to just be there and making dinner and raising their kids and whatever.
• 44:48
  So I thought it was really interesting.
• 44:50
  Someone I read said, if someone tells you they want a traditional marriage, ask them
• 44:57
  why the 1950s are traditional.
• 45:00
  Like why?
• 45:03
  And then I had another thought.
• 45:04
  I know we did like a, do we do a two-parter on submission?
• 45:08
  It was two or three, I'm not sure.
• 45:10
  It was a hot minute ago, we talked about submission.
• 45:14
  And if you haven't listened to those, go back after this and listen to them.
• 45:17
  It'll kind of inform this.
• 45:18
  But the concept of submission within conservative Christianity is that the woman will submit
• 45:26
  to the man.
• 45:28
  So what he says goes.
• 45:31
  Master of the house.
• 45:32
  I don't know the words.
• 45:33
  I cut that out of the last episode.
• 45:39
  Well, it's coming back around.
• 45:42
  So I had this thought on submission and the boys on the dating apps, that's what they're
• 45:50
  asking for.
• 45:51
  They're asking for someone that will do their bidding, because of their faith, because God
• 45:57
  said so.
• 45:58
  And I don't know if you can hear the sarcasm absolutely dripping out of my mouth.
• 46:03
  But I was thinking about it and I was thinking about it in comparison to the Israelites.
• 46:10
  So in the Bible, the Israelites are finally free and they're living in their own land
• 46:16
  and whatever, and they ask God for a king.
• 46:22
  Because everybody around them has a king and they want to be like everybody else, as many
• 46:25
  people do, as humanity does.
• 46:28
  They were weird because they didn't have a king and who was going to lead them?
• 46:31
  They needed someone to tell them what to do.
• 46:34
  And God said, no, I am your king.
• 46:38
  I've got you.
• 46:39
  You don't need an intermediary of a king between you and me to tell you what to do.
• 46:45
  I will tell you what you need to do.
• 46:46
  I'll tell you where you need to go and I'm perfect.
• 46:50
  So I will never lead you astray.
• 46:53
  But the Israelites really struggled.
• 46:56
  They really struggled.
• 46:58
  As we all do.
• 47:00
  As we all do.
• 47:01
  Let's not hate too much on the Israelites.
• 47:03
  And they said, no, we want a king.
• 47:06
  Give us a king.
• 47:08
  Because everybody else has a king and we feel weird.
• 47:12
  And so finally, God said, okay, because if you fight God hard enough, he will give you
• 47:19
  usually what you ask for.
• 47:22
  Not necessarily riches.
• 47:23
  I'm not saying riches and whatever, but something like this.
• 47:27
  They fought God and finally God was like, all right, I'll give you a king.
• 47:29
  I will give you an imperfect human king.
• 47:32
  And I'll give you a lesson too.
• 47:35
  And it went incredibly poorly.
• 47:37
  Historically, this did not go great for them.
• 47:40
  They had a lot of bad kings.
• 47:43
  Even the kings like David that you would look at and say, overall, maybe wasn't the worst.
• 47:48
  We just did three episodes on Bathsheba on a portion of his life where he was horrific.
• 47:54
  So this is not a good decision, right?
• 47:57
  This was a human decision that the Israelites made in spite of what God wanted for them.
• 48:02
  Not that we all wouldn't have made the same request of God, but that's what they did.
• 48:10
  And so I started asking myself, if God looked at his people and said, I don't want to give
• 48:16
  you an intermediary.
• 48:18
  I don't want to put a person, an imperfect person between you and I.
• 48:25
  Why would he create marriage like that?
• 48:29
  Why would he look at women who are just as much his people, who are just as much made
• 48:35
  in his own image, and say, you aren't valuable enough to me to speak directly to?
• 48:45
  You need someone between you and I, and I'm going to stick your husband there.
• 48:50
  He's not perfect.
• 48:51
  He's going to screw up.
• 48:52
  He's going to lead you astray.
• 48:53
  But for some reason, I'm going to put him there.
• 48:57
  Now compare those two things.
• 48:58
  It's the same story.
• 48:59
  Yeah, exactly.
• 49:00
  God is not going to put someone between you and him.
• 49:05
  When boys on dating apps say, I want a submissive wife, or I want to be the head of my household,
• 49:10
  or I'm an alpha male, or whatever garbage language they want to use, ask them, why would
• 49:17
  God put you, little boy, between him and I?
• 49:25
  God will talk directly to me.
• 49:28
  He will tell me what he wants of me.
• 49:30
  He will tell me what I should be doing with my own life.
• 49:36
  He's not going to tell you first, and then you get to tell me.
• 49:38
  That doesn't make any sense.
• 49:40
  Because a game of telephone is always going to end poorly.
• 49:45
  Yes.
• 49:46
  See Adam and Eve.
• 49:51
  I was thinking a lot about that, and I thought that was really interesting to think about,
• 49:54
  to compare those two things.
• 49:56
  I would love if you guys, those of you out there that are dating, if you come across
• 50:02
  a boy on one of these apps that's saying things like this, I beg of you, ask him that question,
• 50:07
  and then message it to us on TikTok, because I want to hear about it.
• 50:11
  Because that's what I've been doing.
• 50:13
  Not necessarily that, but I've been, okay, if you're going to act like a creep, I'm
• 50:17
  going to take a screenshot of it, and I'm going to save it and tell my friends about
• 50:20
  it.
• 50:21
  You're going to tell the world about it at this point.
• 50:25
  Take your screenshots of your terrible dating experiences.
• 50:28
  Yes, we would love to do a part two eventually of this, and weave in all of your experiences
• 50:34
  and see what you have to say.
• 50:37
  Side note, yeah, I did have a guy tell me that he wanted a traditional life, and he
• 50:43
  wanted to be the head of his household.
• 50:44
  I was like, tell me more.
• 50:46
  What do you mean by that?
• 50:48
  And I went off, and then we broke up.
• 50:51
  Darn.
• 50:52
  I don't know, I think it's so interesting to watch men have to defend that point too.
• 50:59
  And then they backpedal.
• 51:01
  Oh, they do.
• 51:02
  They're like, oh, no, no, no, yeah, I do want a partnership.
• 51:04
  I do want this.
• 51:05
  I do agree with you until we get married and things get flipped around.
• 51:11
  Because if you can get, I guess tricked is what I want to say, because if you're going
• 51:16
  to lie about that ahead of time, you're tricking someone into marrying you on false pretenses,
• 51:21
  and if they can manage that, now it's much harder for you to leave.
• 51:26
  Not that you can't, and I certainly encourage if you feel that you're being abused in a
• 51:30
  situation like this, I certainly encourage you to leave, and I believe God encourages
• 51:35
  you to leave as well.
• 51:37
  But it's harder, and they know that.
• 51:41
  Yes.
• 51:42
  I mean, we've said this before, and we'll say it 10 times over again, God cares so much
• 51:47
  more about you than he does about marriage.
• 51:50
  Or dating.
• 51:51
  Or dating.
• 51:52
  Or X, Y, Z. He cares so much more about you.
• 51:58
  You are God's child.
• 52:01
  The institution of marriage is not.
• 52:06
  Dating is not.
• 52:08
  Your ideal position in life as a woman is not to get married.
• 52:14
  If you find someone and you want to get married, if you want to take a husband, that's great.
• 52:18
  Do it.
• 52:20
  But that is not your ideal station as a woman.
• 52:22
  Also, look for someone who is going to add value to your life.
• 52:28
  Please do not settle, and if people are telling you to lower your standards in any way, shape,
• 52:34
  or form, I would say raise them even higher.
• 52:38
  Keep them sky high.
• 52:40
  Keep them so high that only the right person is going to be able to climb that wall.
• 52:46
  Because if you're being the best version of yourself, and you're really trying hard to
• 52:53
  just be happy and content with yourself, you should be able to find someone who is bringing
• 52:58
  that same level and value to your life.
• 53:02
  Not someone who's going to bring you down.
• 53:04
  Not someone who you have to settle for.
• 53:06
  That's been said to me so many times.
• 53:08
  Like, I know he did this, and he was inappropriate this way, and he was kind of, you know, that's
• 53:13
  a little bit of a red flag, but maybe you just go out one more time.
• 53:18
  It's okay, just try one more time.
• 53:19
  No, if he's going to act that way on day one, or day 20, it doesn't matter.
• 53:24
  Leave him!
• 53:25
  Well, because the concept is a woman is not worth as much if she's not married.
• 53:31
  So that's where it's coming from, is people are like, well, no, you have to be with someone
• 53:35
  to have value.
• 53:37
  It's, you don't.
• 53:39
  It is, I think, harder for people to relate to single people in some ways.
• 53:44
  I've had so many people say, you know, when are you getting your MRS degree when you're
• 53:48
  in college?
• 53:49
  That's the only reason you went to that school, right?
• 53:51
  Or just, are you dating anyone?
• 53:53
  Are you talking to anybody?
• 53:54
  Are you liking anybody?
• 53:55
  Is anybody liking you?
• 53:57
  I can't wait till the day you get married.
• 54:00
  Yes.
• 54:01
  Or you're just so beautiful.
• 54:03
  You're just so beautiful.
• 54:05
  How has no one found you yet?
• 54:07
  Those are all things that have been said to me, but particularly the beautiful one.
• 54:11
  Yes, I'm delightfully beautiful.
• 54:17
  But it will be okay.
• 54:19
  You don't have to find a man.
• 54:21
  Or if you want to, I don't have any advice.
• 54:25
  I think we've given a lot of advice over the last hour.
• 54:30
  But one thing I did want to end on, and this is definitely off topic, we're, but timely.
• 54:37
  So, this episode should come out right after the election.
• 54:42
  And I wanted to say, and I don't know, this is, we're recording this several days ahead,
• 54:47
  so I don't know who won.
• 54:48
  I don't know what happened.
• 54:50
  I know how I chose to vote.
• 54:52
  And I'm not going to share that because you don't need to know.
• 54:55
  But I also know how I vote.
• 54:57
  I do not even, I don't think it's like a secret.
• 55:02
  I just wanted to say, as, I don't know if all of you out there are people of faith,
• 55:09
  but for those of you that are, and even for those of you that are not, whatever happened,
• 55:16
  I know some of us are scared right now.
• 55:18
  I would say the majority of us.
• 55:21
  Many many people on both sides are going to be afraid of whatever happens.
• 55:26
  And as people of faith, I hope that we can just sort of remember that God knew what was
• 55:31
  going to happen.
• 55:32
  This is not surprising.
• 55:33
  God knew what was going to happen when he created the world in the election of 2024
• 55:37
  in the United States.
• 55:40
  And he's got this.
• 55:42
  Well, like we were talking about earlier, we really only have one true king.
• 55:47
  And he is perfect.
• 55:48
  And he's going to take care of us.
• 55:52
  And hindsight is 20-20, right?
• 55:54
  So when we look back on these years, a million years from now, because we're going to all
• 55:59
  live till a million.
• 56:00
  Oh dear.
• 56:01
  We're going to see how God carried us through.
• 56:04
  I have to live to a million?
• 56:06
  Yes.
• 56:07
  I am already going crazy.
• 56:10
  What will happen?
• 56:12
  Science and technology is going to preserve us until the year one million.
• 56:18
  All right.
• 56:20
  I'm sorry.
• 56:22
  No, but I just I just wanted to make that point of whoever, whichever side is feeling
• 56:27
  afraid, even if you're kind of in the middle ground and you're feeling afraid, God has
• 56:32
  us covered.
• 56:34
  He always has.
• 56:35
  He always will.
• 56:37
  He knew what was going to happen.
• 56:38
  He knows what's going to happen tomorrow.
• 56:39
  He knows what's going to happen through whatever presidency this is.
• 56:43
  And I think we're going to be okay.
• 56:47
  I think we're going to be okay.
• 56:49
  Is there a song there?
• 56:50
  I just don't know.
• 56:51
  Now Bree's just going off the cuff.
• 56:57
  All right.
• 56:58
  So we'll see.
• 56:59
  No, there was a song.
• 57:00
  Every little thing is going to be.
• 57:01
  Yeah, that was a song.
• 57:02
  That was a song.
• 57:03
  You can't yell at me.
• 57:04
  You didn't know.
• 57:05
  Goodbye.
• 57:06
  All right.
• 57:07
  So next week, ideally, I will be slightly better.
• 57:13
  I'm doubting it.
• 57:14
  Me too, man.
• 57:15
  Anyway, we're going to do an episode on the concept of being still.
• 57:21
  I'm very excited about it.
• 57:23
  I'm being still right now.
• 57:25
  It's going really poorly, guys.
• 57:28
  And just talking about what it's like, because there's a verse, if you aren't familiar with
• 57:32
  it, be still and know that I am God, and it gets thrown out all the time.
• 57:37
  It is on all of the Christian merchandise.
• 57:39
  Just walk into a hallmark.
• 57:40
  Walk into a Hobby Lobby.
• 57:41
  Oh my gosh.
• 57:43
  And just stop.
• 57:44
  Because I told you to.
• 57:47
  But we're going to talk about that.
• 57:50
  And the context of it biblically so that it's not just a single verse that we're throwing
• 57:53
  at you.
• 57:54
  Yeah.
• 57:55
  And what it means as a Christian, as a person of faith.
• 58:00
  A POF.
• 58:01
  To be still, what that commitment is.
• 58:03
  We'll just go into it.
• 58:05
  So we'll be excited to see you for that.
• 58:08
  Yay.
• 58:09
  Yay.
• 58:10
  All right.
• 58:11
  We'll see you guys next week.
• 58:12
  Bye.
• 58:13
  Love you, bye.
• 58:14
  How are you?