Latest / Neuro-Performance / Was tun, wenn du als Führungskraft klare Kante zeigen müsstest, aber innerlich ausweichst?
Transcript
- Nina: What can you if you have to a clear edge as force, but you're internally weakening? Maybe you that. If it really comes to it, for example, if the team shows bad performance or if there a conflict in room, or if a clear statement is then you're weakening. You softer than it in the situation. You comfort the topic and decide tomorrow. And if you're honest, you hope that the topic itself. Well, and then you about yourself. You know that you had to lead And you might even what you wanted to But the moment it came you, you Let's this neurobiologically. So, what I described is a conditioned avoidance. And it sits much deeper than your consciousness could The nervous system has learned in the past that conflicts are And it doesn't to dramatic or but could be that maybe some conflict in your family, in your family openly led back then. Or that, for example, former employers directly the feedback. Or maybe you've experienced that for a clear statement, a feedback, that or maybe something completely different that you have experienced is in the nervous system as a pattern. Specifically, it is stored in implicit memory of and it sits much, much deeper than thought. sits very deep below the conscious level and is coded as experience. and not as a memory. And that's it's sometimes so fatal that the smallest things from our past are still in our emotional iceberg, which we sometimes can't even remember. Which, as I said, can sometimes be very, very small as experience, but a big effect on us. So if you into a situation that like confrontation, then the amygdala an old pattern and this old pattern is avoidance that is in the case your security strategy and it happens very autonomously so for you unconsciously for the nervous system very consciously it happens in milliseconds without you aware of and it doesn't like fear it feels more like Now maybe not the right moment. Or something like... I'll it better. So, avoidance. And the ironic thing is, what feels like security maybe moving thinking now is not the right moment, that is long term, honestly, your own stressor. Unresolved conflicts are simply chronic stress in the nervous system. Your nervous system knows that. And it stays permanently in a slight of Sometimes, to be it's not just light And you energy on something that's still in your head. I an exercise for you, so that you can conversations, difficult conversations for well and above all because if you the example of just now again, then the preparation is not in head, but in body necessary. Yes, I know, sounds unusual at but that's what is neurobiological necessary. So what can you do? I have three very simple steps that you best do shortly before the conversation, so something like this. 5 minutes before the meeting. I'll with you and then I'll you short neurobiological explanation of why this works. Step 1. Stand up and move. You can your arms, can your legs. Relax. Without any control. Shake your body. I know, that sounds silly and the ego part in your head is again, don't them But that's what neurophysiology That's why need body in motion. You can something else, you don't have a clown. You could do a quick run into the bathroom or something else. But get in motion. Step 2. Stand After you've moved, now stand Really feel your feet on the floor. Your balance is well distributed. So balance distributed. Don't on one leg. Unless that's your condition that's something else. But balance is And then breathe And that's longer than you inhale. And I know that breathing is also a thing. I've I've many management rounds where I the staff leader, but Nina, please don't breathe, they don't The AOK study I found says that 60-80 % of people don't properly. Maybe should with the basics. But whatever. Step 2, stand wash weight evenly and breathe. And step 3, to get to the point here. I one single sentence. Something like, for I say this, the feedback, whatever you want to say, because I person an honest return. That's respect. You can completely different sentence, you can speak yourself why you this feedback By the is not a motivational sentence. Here, Don't put hands over your head and think, what's that again? I this example too. It's really an uncoding of your intention. That's why you this sentence. You can it internally, but you need this sentence, which you will see in Let's take closer look it. Why this exercise? Why should this exercise work? I hear a lot skeptics speaking. So let's deeper. The shaking in first step, that really has a... a precise neurobiological origin. Specifically, this is your natural discharge mechanism, your nervous system. You want to the energy out of your nervous system that will block later, which is you might not the conversation. And that's honestly pretty logical, and you can with animal sacs. They are out after a dangerous situation. Absolutely not a sudden behavior, but a physiological way to discharge energy, activation energy and then the nervous system out of the state of So, please the dog. The next time you shake together, because he may five kilometers forward and not on the road, then the chance is very good that he will shake after he little run-in from you. We humans also this capacity. But we them. yes, almost not at all. Therefore, shake. Step 2, which is on the floor, also a signal to your limbic system and signals to your brain, hey, is there is no danger And the third step is honestly the complex. The third step, where you your sentence is complex, but super effective because you're driving your nervous system through You're not into the alarm because there's a conflict situation in front of you, it feels threatening, it's so codified. The amygdala ⁓ is the party and reacts to this situation and then comes your protection strategy You don't That's why you can now consciously encode. ⁓ you your intention, which you have, to consciously encode For example, confrontation, because that's brain noticed, to respect. And that changes which neuronal paths activated, because you at this situation way, at this preferred confrontation, which is not a confrontation, but rather a sign of respect in which you share All that I just described, you want little deeper and see what all this means much, much deeper, because there are an incredible many studies on it, is called Cognitive Reappraisal. And that is one of the best-researched regulation mechanisms in neuroscience. will lot of there if you are interested. Just for you, and the studies have shown that. If we humans an emotional situation for ourselves, then the amygdala activation, i.e. our alarm center, our prefrontal cortex, which responsible for strategic thinking, innovative thinking and acting, etc., take over the leadership. And that's exactly the part you want to when you a feedback conversation. Spoiler! You will the conversation without tension. The tension will in your system. But you are it now. You are not reactive, but you are leading the conversation. And more you this, the easier it become for your nervous system. Therefore, if you the of leadership, which is more difficult, then you these three steps.