Latest / To Your Success! Podcast / Episode 52: Habits that keep you average
Transcript
- speaker-0: you speaker-1: Welcome to your success. You've built a life others admire. You've achieved, delivered, and become someone people rely on. But somewhere along the way, it stopped feeling like yours. Mentor Christer Johnson and Ellen Solheim know that feeling. After following successful paths of their own, they chose something different: more clarity, more freedom, more presence. Today, speaker-0: Thanks speaker-1: They help high achievers design lives that feel true, just impressive. This podcast is for those ready for their next chapter. Not more pressure, not more performance, but a life that feels like yours with clarity and direction. Welcome to your success. speaker-0: Not speaker-1: Hello everyone and welcome back to the To Your Success podcast. I am Krista Johnson and with me today. speaker-0: Suleyman as always and I am in my room today. speaker-1: Yes you are. My business partner and my wife. And it's great to be back. We have ⁓ just finished four weeks of summer vacation and now we are ready to make a great new podcast again. And this one is different. I have no idea what we're talking about, that's wrong. I have some idea about what we're talking about. But ⁓ Elin, the coming podcast, Elin is in charge of the subjects and the questions. So ⁓ feel free. speaker-0: I usually like to talk about things that we just continue talking about whatever we want to talk about, so to keep it less formal. So this is more about the habits that keeps you average. So I can tell you a little bit about it. Our lives are shaped, but what we do every single day. And the question is, is that are your daily habits moving you closer to the life you want or quietly holding you back? So today we will be uncovering the habits that separate average from extraordinary. speaker-1: Mm-hmm. That's fun. speaker-0: So I can ask you question. Which habits quietly keep people from reaching their potential? speaker-1: The first thing that comes to my mind is the excuse it is good enough. Right? And it is related to what we in Scandinavia called the antelovan, which is you shall not stick out, you shall not think you are something. And we have the same things in different ways all over Europe I think. ⁓ America is a little bit different. But average is if you go to some Scandinavian countries to be average, not to be seen, is actually a goal. It's it's more the culture is that way. I strongly disagree with that. I think ⁓ good enough is the evil of great. Because good enough is an excuse, right? And there is there is a movie ⁓ with Jack Nicholson where he's in the madhouse and and in and he says what if this is as good as it gets And that is not how it is, right? What we have today is a result of all our thinking, our feelings and our actions so far in life. It has nothing to do with what we create in the future. You know, I often say to my clients, there is no relation between education, the number of years. And I don't talk about higher education, I talk about longer education. It's not a relationship between ⁓ education and how and wealth, not education and happiness. Right? And it has what you have done so far doesn't tell anything about what you shall do in the future. So the first habit is maybe to say, Well it's good enough for me. If you want something you should have it. It's why not? Right? Maybe you don't know how. That's okay. But if you really want something you should have it. speaker-0: Yeah, and I think I just have thought about that because when I told my children when they were younger I always told them that why can't you just be happy with what you have? Why do you always have to be eager for more? Because be happy with what you have, that's a good thing. Stopping children from being eager for more? speaker-1: Yeah. No. Yeah. speaker-0: So I had to take that back when they grew up. speaker-1: Yeah, and it's it's I think the basis, I mean the fundamental of for of life, first of all is happiness, is is happiness. You shall be happy, you can be happy if you really want to. ⁓ then joy that is joyful and that you always want more. And you don't it it doesn't have to be material things, it can be just one more. I'm sure my dad he he spent a long time on passing away. I'm sure he was just longing for one more sunset, one more sunrise, right? Just a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more. And as long as you have these wishes and you are eager for more, then that's okay. That is life actually. You know, we all the time we fire what Abraham Hicks called rockets of desire. I want that. ⁓ that would be nice. It can be a nice it can be a new car, it can be a new boat, it can be something else, right? It can be a feeling. I really want to feel peace. Yeah. Well that's a choice. Right? That's a choice you have. It doesn't it has nothing to do with how much you have. speaker-0: Maybe also the feeling of comfort. That's also a habit. To just being in your comfort zone. speaker-1: Yeah, it is. And it the comfort zone is very much an excuse. Alright? The reason why you don't go out of the comfort zone is because you don't understand fear. Most people say that, well I fear it, therefore I cannot do it, because I have to be ready before I do it. That is like waiting for a result before you have done it. It's like, ⁓ when this happens, then I will do it. This will never happen until you make the decision and take the action. Right? So then staying in the comfort zone is just an excuse. And and fear is a great message. It is a it is a message to move. You know, fear and uncomfortable, feeling uncomfortable, that is the feeling of of growth. You give birth to the new you, you grow, you create, you stretch. I'm you know how easily bored I am. Yeah, you want to. Yeah. Yeah. speaker-0: You can belong in to relax and have a quiet day and after one hour in that day you just have to go out and do some. speaker-1: I like summer vacation now we took four weeks off. I was how long time did it take until I was bored? Like, I don't know, five days. And then I got passive. And then I got passive and then I said, no, I have to go up to the mountains and have a hike. And then I was away for for one week. Got inspiration, right? And it's like It pushes me out of the comfort zone because it's it's comfortable just to stay home and then you can go we can have the morning bath and we can do that and we can do that and I can read a book and and then but it's boring, right? I'm eager for more. I I have we we have a very good friend who's a specialist he's he's a psychiatrist, special psychiatrist, his name is Tom. And he said to me, Christopher, I don't I don't know anyone and he had a lot of clients and he said I don't know anyone who's so hungry for life. Like you. I'm so hungry. You know, my life motto, how far can I go? Write about that in my book is like, and you know that being married to me and we we work together a lot as well, is like I'm I'm pushing all the time, right? But it's because it's so boring not to do that. I've always been that. I'm so curious. I drove my parents crazy with all my questions, right? I woke up four thirty in the morning in the bed and then I shake I shook the bed until it fell apart so I could get out. So it it's like well I'm eager, right? All the time I want more experiences. I'm e very, very easily bored, so I have to practice boring, not boring, but being comfortable not doing things. It's related to me as a person being polaric as well. But I was speaker-0: You focus on ⁓ development and changing and doing new things. So that's who you are. You have become that person that always do that. But for a lot of people, including me, used to procrastinate a lot and I wanted to stay in my comfort zone and I wanted to like, yeah, procrastination was the big thing and it still has a bit of it, but I'm getting better. So. For people like me, how does procrastination become a lifestyle? speaker-1: We have friends who have that as a lifestyle. They want to paint it they want to paint their house and they never do it. Yeah, and and then they want more money and they say why don't you just increase your income and they have a flat ready in the in their apartment and then and then they don't rent it out. It's like because you know this might sound harsh, right? But for some people it seems like it's better to be unhappy speaker-0: I'm speaker-1: continue doing the same thing over and over again and then complain about it than to challenge yourself, right? Maybe it is the fear of failing that is so big. Because in our society now everyone you know in the Western world we are very materialistic, there is a lot of money in circulation. People if you want to be successful in terms of money, you can be that I mean there are enormous amounts of money circulating among people. But it it's not evenly distributed, right? So what do they do, those who are successful? They take action, right? They set goals and they take action. speaker-0: And those who doesn't take action, make excuses. speaker-1: They make excuses and then they complain about it. Nothing happens. And then they say, Why don't you do it? No, I have to wait until it's ready. It will never be ready. So so going back to the question, what habits do do what habits are I wouldn't say mediocre, but if you want to change, then you could install some new habits. The habits you shall let go is first of all procrastination. Right? So if you want to do something, you shall take action. It doesn't have to be perfect. Right? There is a mathematical principle called the butterfly effect and that clearly states that if you are fifteen percent not fifty but one five percent right at the beginning in your thinking, in your feeling, in your actions, then you are guaranteed a eighty five percent success outcome if you just follow through, right? You don't have to be perfect, you don't have to be great, but you have to start to be great. Alright, Sig Ziggler said that you don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great. So the first step is actually the dare to take action and the first action you should do is write down what you truly want. There is a study at Harvard Harvard ⁓ Business School that shows at Harvard University or Harvard Business School that ⁓ that says that if if you write down your goal, just write it down. There is a sixty percent chance, higher chance of reaching it than if you don't. Because if you write it down, and you know that Ellen If you write it down it's a commitment to yourself. And it's so much easier to procrastinate on your thinking, but to procrastinate on something that you have written down, meaning that you have taken action, then it's a commitment to yourself. And that is why it is difficult for people to set goals, because a goal is a commitment to yourself. It it's not ⁓ we ⁓ l I would say half of our clients, right? And they're all high achievers, meaning that they have accomplished a lot already and now they want more. and and half of them have quite clearly defined goals. Half of them don't have clearly defined goals at all. They just know that they want something else. Mm-hmm. Right? Very often and it doesn't take more when I have the first call with them, it doesn't take more than five minutes to define their goals. And then I say write it down and email it to us, right? Because that's a commitment. But it doesn't take more, right? It's like our our dear friend. You were ⁓ you were travelling last weekend and then I I had a beer with her and and she has worked with us before as well. We helped her become a successful ⁓ best selling author. And and and then ⁓ she said, but I don't know what I want. She said. And I think she's bored, right? Mm-hmm. Because she's used to having goals and now she has accomplished everything. She has the house she wanted there, she has her book, she has that, she has that, she has that, and then now it gets empty. Because you don't f you don't set up a new goal. Three minutes it took. I said what you and I just had that conversation after one bear. I had that conversation, what do you truly want? And she said I don't know, okay so what you want to work with? I really want to work with that. That's fine, okay, golden wall. And how much money do you want to make? And she said, I want to have that much money. I said, No, we cannot have the money, you have to circulate it. So you have to define how much money that you want to be wealthy, but how much money you want to make so you can circulate. Okay, so that much. Okay, then you have that. And then I said then you have to define two habits or two thoughts or two things with you that take you to your goal, right? That you devel develop a stronger discipline and that you develop a stronger action so you don't think because she keeps thinking around in circles, right? It took three to four minutes. And I said, Write it down on your cell phone, then you have it. speaker-0: But you are really good at that, helping people finding their goals and finding out what they want, because you work with this every day. That's one of your biggest... ⁓ what do call it? Assets? Yeah. Helping people like that. But for you, ⁓ I know it... How do you replace your bad habits with empowering ones? speaker-1: I do. Maybe? I don't have any bad habits. speaker-0: Okay, next question. speaker-1: so the best way of there are two ways of s of of ch ⁓ well as I see it there are two ways of of changing habits. Okay? So it starts with writing down your goal. Right? Because not to d clearly define a goal, that's a mediocre, that's that's that's not a good habit to have. You know, in absence of clearly defined goals people become strangely loyal to performing daily trivia. What is daily trivia? It's smoking, not training, it is ⁓ drinking PepsiMux or whatever they do. ⁓ they watch T V all the time. Right? And it's like they don't take care of their life. It's like they sometimes I wonder if they hope it's over and then I and when I ask that, you know, I can be direct. And I said, No, no, no, I don't want to do that. Then why don't you make more out of it? But I cannot. Of course you can. If I can you can. So it starts with defining a goal, then it starts also defining who do you want to be? Right, I want to be self confident. And people say, but I'm not. Well that's a choice. I want to be happy, that's a choice. I want to be grateful, that's a choice. On my goal card it says I'm ten times happy and grateful. I had that until twelve months ago, then I thought I had it. Now I had to put it back because I study myself. ⁓ huh. I'm not the one I want to be. I d I don't like me when I'm grumpy. I don't like me when I'm easily angered. I don't like me when I'm lazy. So I say I'm ten times happy and grateful. And I repeat that, repeat that, repeat that. Every time then of course a negative thought comes, but I don't give it energy. I say no that's all me. I'm always happy and then I look for things that make me happy. Today I was walking out for seventy five minutes and I was looking for all the butterflies and I started manifesting butterflies again and they're everywhere, right? speaker-0: And again, he used to do that last speaker-1: I used that I do that every summer. I did that when I was out hiking in the mountains as well and then I saw a blue one and there are not so many blue ones. speaker-0: Just believe that there is plenty of blue ones there. speaker-1: Yes, there are, there will there are, okay. speaker-0: How long does it really take for you to change a habit? speaker-1: I don't know. Haven't thought about that. It can take you it can take a second, right? To change is really easy just to decide, to make the committed decision that no, that's not me. This is who I am, right? I am. I am. And and because when you talk to yourself, right? You have to ob study yourself, meaning that you listen to your thoughts, you listen to your feelings, you listen to the language that comes out. And you say, I'm not I I'm gonna try to do that. No, stop trying. Right. So I'm I'm I'm studying the language of of our clients. You saw that we had we had a monthly QA with all our clients. And one of the guys I corrected him on his language because he said, I'm gonna try to do that. I said, You have to stop trying, you just have to do it, right? Just push yourself. Right. So you have to be aware. You have to be aware of your thinking. And then The second thing, one thing is to study yourself, set goal, study yourself and then and then ⁓ correct yourself, right? Saying I am I want to be that like you Ellen, if we use you as an example, when you procrastinate say no, I do it now. Mm-hmm. Right? You immediately reaffirm the opposite. The opposite of procrastination is doing it now. The opposite of procrastination is not no I'm gonna do that tomorrow. No. Procrastination and you sometimes you say that, but I do it, I put it on the list. But that is procrastination. The only way to stop procrastination and to procrastination and to train yourself to do that is to do it now. Everything else aside I do it now. Right? So it's like me, I was I I used to be afraid of of spending money. I I mean I ⁓ I don't know why, because I I never been out of money, right? I always had money. Since I was eleven years old, I had the money. I started working at the field picking strawberries and and potatoes. ⁓ then I I I delivered newspapers for four or five years. I always made my own money, right? Always worked. Yeah. Always made money. Never been out of money. But then I discovered that I was afraid of spending money. I just immediately said, no, I'm gonna spend money, right? Not recklessly, but spend money, right? Circle it, circle it, circle it. So one thing is to study yourself. The other thing is to be in a great environment. You are never better than the closest five people to you. You know? speaker-0: ⁓ For people that's listening today and don't want to be average, and hopefully nobody wants to be average, but some always say that's good enough. If you don't want to be average, what one habit would encourage everyone to start today? This is like the final question, so we're wrapping it up. speaker-1: It is to make a committed decision. Okay, so it's not a decision. A committed decision. Committed decision is something you do no matter what. Alright? Comes to my mind now Olaf Tufte. I used him as an example in our starter programs for many many years and now he passed away 50 years old. ⁓ But he made the ko and I knew Frank Beck who was his mental coach. knew Frank pretty well and then ⁓ so that i I never met Olaf but that is why I use Olaf as an example because Frank told me this story. Olaf had made the committed decision that he wanted to be Olympic champion in the ⁓ he wanted to win the Olympics in Athens. I think that was in two thousand and four, two thousand and eight. And then he called Frank the day before the d the same day as the final and said we have a problem. And Frank said, No, I don't have a problem. I'm happy, I'm looking forward to winning the Olympics and I'm gonna watch that and I'm gonna enjoy a A glass of wine or a beer on the terrace while watching it and Ola said yeah but I don't dare to win because I'm so afraid of people seeing me cry. Alright? And then what did they do? They practised, practice, practice because it was a committed decision for Olaf Tüfte, the strongest, the toughest guy in the Wegian athlete environment, to be the Olympic champion, but he didn't dare because he was afraid. But it was a committed decision. Alright? Mm-hmm. So he took the shit. What was the shit? He was afraid. And he challenged that and he went to someone that could help him, Frank. Right? And Frank helped him. And then Olaf said, Yeah, I have it now. And Frank said, Yeah, now you go out and crush them. And he did. He completely crushed them. He overcome his fear. Which is very often a subtle, stupid thing. Mm-hmm. I'm afraid of what others people think. Of course. Well you have to get rid of that. I was when I left the corporate role, I was afraid of losing everything. Because outside I was successful, but I was not successful inside because I was not happy. Alright? Commit the decision is something you do no matter what. I want you to write down your goals. Yeah. And say, no matter what I'm gonna do that. I don't know how long it takes, but I'm gonna do that. Alright, that is the committed decision, which is the most important thing. A decision that you don't act on, that is not committed. Alright, back to you. If you want to stop procrastinating, commit the decision, do it now. You cannot leave. You can't you you know, you cannot leave the vacuum cleaner on the floor for two days anymore. speaker-0: Okay, that's the next subject from this next speaker-1: Do it do it now, do it now, do it now. And then be a part of a great environment. That is why we handpick our clients, you know. That is why we create these environments where people can talk about this. Where people say, ⁓ yes. Where some of the clients tell other clients, I think your goal is too small, I think you're capable of so much more. Yeah. That's a success environment. speaker-0: We are ending this now. I have to stop you. So, are you finished talking? speaker-1: Yeah. Actually I was think I was thinking about that to sum up, okay? I ⁓ we have worked I have worked with the cemetery for five five years I think and it was before I left the corporate world and I I I told the story before but it's very, very relevant. It's about to commit the decision, right? So I said I wanted to sail around the world. I want to have a business that can so I can run that business from sailing around the world. And I said that for about a year. And then one day my mentor said, you know, you don't have a goal. He just realized I didn't have a goal. I said, What do you mean? He said, You have a wish or a hope or a dream. A goal is something you act on, that is a committed decision. And then I decided to leave the corporate world. Which was so scary. Right? But do you want to go back to the life we had at that time, Eileen? No. No. No. Me either. It's not it's not it's not easy every day, but we understand that the challenge the challenges we get is a part of the growth to become who we want to be, to help more people. speaker-0: All right. speaker-1: So it is in the moment when you make the committed decision from being a wish or a hope, ⁓ I wish I could do that. When you say it does it is a goal, which is the first step to move out of mediocrity, I'm gonna do this. I don't know how, I'm gonna figure it out. But I'm gonna figure it out and it's gonna be great. That is a committed decision that will take you out of mediocrity and will create happiness. speaker-0: Thank you. speaker-1: You're welcome. Well, thank you for listening to the To Your Success podcast. It's ⁓ we do this to help you. And everything we do is to your success. As always, ⁓ feel free to subscribe. We'd really recommend you to subscribe and say and share. And if you are curious and you want to see how far you can go to release your potential, go to our website, ChristadJohnson.com, click on the Let's Talk button. And you can book a strategy call, you can qualify for a strategy call with us there. Okay. Until next time, have a wonderful day. If something in this episode spoke to you, it may be a sign that you are ready for a different kind of life. Krister and Ellen work with a small number of high achievers who feel it is time for their next chapter. If that feels like you, you can apply for a private clarity call through the link in the show notes. Until next time, success. speaker-0: to your