Latest / Soul Salon with Ayandastood / 20: you are not a machine: why inconsistency is natural 🦋🍄🌻

Transcript

20: you are not a machine: why inconsistency is natural 🦋🍄🌻 · Soul Salon with Ayandastood

0:00
In the context of you as nature, your inconsistency makes so much sense.
0:06
It is only in the context of you as machine that your inconsistency is seen as deficient.
0:13
Hello sunshine and welcome back to paradigm shift with I understood, a place where we reframe
0:20
what is and reimagine what could be. I hope you enjoy today's episode and it's paradigm shift
0:25
together. Nothing in nature is perfectly consistent and so my darling, since you are nature,
0:35
why would you be? Why on earth if a fruit tree couldn't produce a fruit on demand every single
0:44
Monday, if the sunset doesn't rise at the same time every single day, if the ocean ebbs and flows
0:51
in inconsistent ways, if the weather patterns are completely unpredictable, why would you be
0:59
any otherwise? The reason I believe that we are living in the colonizer's imagination
1:06
is that every facet of our existence, beauty, knowledge, education,
1:13
personhood, community has embedded in it in our world today, the colonizer's view of that
1:22
construct. We are living in a reality that has been constructed for us and passed down and the
1:31
people who have the power to shape reality, to protect reality, to maintain reality and to create
1:38
new realities are often deeply aligned to that same colonial imagination.
1:47
And one of the most intimate separations that happens is the separation between us and ourselves,
1:55
the alienation from the Marxist lens and I'm going to do another episode on this so let's
2:01
stick on this topic today. This idea that your sense of who you are is not purely yours because
2:08
it's mediated by society's view of how you should interpret your own actions. One of the many ways
2:17
this manifests is in your expectation of yourself to act and behave like a machine.
2:24
What are the characteristics of a machine? Well, it's consistent, it's predictable, it's efficient,
2:34
it's productive, it's soulless, it's emotionless, it's colorless, it's flavorless. So your inconsistency
2:46
only doesn't make sense in the context of you as machine. Isn't that again? You're being inconsistent,
2:55
only doesn't make sense if we view you as a machine, then why are you being inconsistent?
2:59
You're a machine, produce the thing every Monday, wake up every day at 6 a.m., do the routine,
3:04
you're a machine, but your inconsistency makes perfect sense in the context of you as nature,
3:12
of you as part of this cosmic wildness and wilderness and divinity and chaos and also magic
3:21
that we are living in and that we are part of and that is so much a part of us and who we are.
3:30
Okay, so because we live in that colonial imagination of the self, we have been made to see ourselves
3:39
and to treat ourselves as though we are machines. So when we said our goals were treating ourselves
3:47
as machines and then when we failed to reach those goals because maybe they were unattainable,
3:51
maybe they were too rigid, maybe they were treating a human being who is a part of nature,
3:57
as though they were something static and controllable and something that is not going to change its
4:03
mind or not going to face chaos or emotions or fear or other people they need to think about or
4:10
other concerns that may come out, someone who is living an emotional life which necessarily
4:16
involves unpredictability and then what happens, we are so hard in ourselves and let me take it from
4:25
the journal to the specific me. Every single week of this year, it's now August, I have said goals
4:32
for myself, content-wise, that I have failed to reach. I've said I'm going to post, let's say,
4:39
three videos on TikTok per day. Has that happened for more than literally two days? No. I've said I
4:45
was going to post three sub-stack newsletters a week. Have I even posted one a week consistently
4:51
for very long? No. I've said I was going to post one podcast episode per week. Sometimes I've said
4:57
I'm going to make one a day. Has that happened? No. And in the face of this, in the face of letting
5:06
ourselves down, letting our goals down, we have a couple of options. Some of them they don't want us to
5:12
see. Either we can go the traditional route of being like, I'm wrong for doing this and I need to
5:19
change and I need to be more motivated and I need to go on YouTube and watch all of the people
5:24
talking about their morning routines, telling me that it's all my fault, okay? Or we always have
5:29
another option. Please let me illuminate this option for you. You always have the option
5:38
to tap into the natural intelligence and wisdom of your behavior. You always have the option
5:47
to ask yourself how your behavior makes sense in the context of the environment and society you're
5:55
living in, in the context of your own life, your own background, the things that you've survived
6:00
and had to protect yourself from and have had to heal from and continue to be healing from
6:05
and in the context of your other responsibilities that you hold in your life. What if the things you
6:11
do actually make sense but the intelligence that those actions cohere to is a bigger intelligence
6:20
and a natural intelligence that they don't want you to know you have because you are part of the
6:28
universe. If you watch a tree happening, it's happening, it's on a cosmic timing, it's on a cosmic,
6:36
there's a cosmic alignment and that cosmic alignment that the stars have, that the clouds have,
6:43
that the moon has you have. And I say this all the time but if an alien looked down on earth,
6:52
they would not see these people called humans and everything else. They would see one collective
6:58
planet, there'd be butterflies and there'd be rainbows and there'd be thunder and there'd be
7:03
lightning and there'd be humans and there'd be lions but they would not be the human who has to
7:09
be mechanized and structured and then the river which can flow as it wants to flow. It would just be
7:17
nature, it would just be the earth. So when you are failing, let's just say it, let's say failing
7:28
to show up consistently for something. It's not always the case that you just need to try harder
7:35
to show up consistently. It's also the case that there is a wisdom and a natural intelligence
7:42
to inconsistency and that brings us to the topic of today's conversation that nothing in nature
7:51
is perfectly consistent and I want to take us through some examples of how this inconsistency
8:01
is constitutive or is fundamental to the way that nature works and I invite you to see yourself
8:08
as nature and to understand that the separation of self of human from nature is the colonial
8:15
imagination at play because the colonizer wanted to see themselves as above nature such that nature
8:24
was there to control, to exploit and to do the opposite of protect. So when indigenous and
8:33
native people, when black people, when people before colonialism lived in harmony with nature,
8:41
not just before colonialism but today as well, so many indigenous people, so many black people
8:47
and brown people, so many people live in harmony with nature, in community with nature.
8:55
In union with nature, it was not as the separate force that we are above, we are enlightened,
9:02
we are intelligent, we are so evolved that we are not what nature is associated to which is
9:10
the savage, the native, the black, right? So they created a hierarchy between whiteness and between
9:19
black people and indigenous people and brown people whether it be in Angola, Kenya, in Mexico,
9:27
whether it be in India, you know, wherever it was, there was the hierarchy where the white
9:33
Western European was above the native and therefore they created the idea of the savage.
9:41
The real savage is the colonizer because they, I don't even have to say because, right?
9:47
exploiting, pillaging, harming, abusing, extracting, that is savagery. So they needed to construct
9:57
a sense of personhood that viewed itself as above its natural tendencies. So we live in the colonial
10:06
imagination and we live in the masculine imagination, the white masculine colonial imagination,
10:11
what does that imagination prioritize and value? You know discipline, structure, order, power,
10:23
hierarchy, routine, difficulty. You know what I mean? They valorize those traits so much so that we
10:35
think it's natural that we want to be more disciplined. That is straight out of the Stoics and the
10:41
colonial imagination from philosophy to psychology. All of this is not a natural way to relate to
10:49
human life is to view it as needing to be disciplined and difficult and routine and structured.
10:55
That's not natural in and of itself. There was never going to be a life without those things but
11:01
there has to be a balance. There can't be an over emphasis on discipline and on routine and
11:06
on structure. There has to also be room for creativity, intuition, flow, ease, pleasure, emotions,
11:18
softness. These are critical values but we don't live in the imagination of those values. So
11:24
naturally when we ear towards them, when we ear towards ease instead of discipline, when we
11:29
ear towards softness instead of hardness, when we ear towards pleasure instead of pain,
11:36
we think something's wrong with us. When we let ourselves be free and just flow with our
11:42
creations, not letting them come out on a timeline, but letting them come to us as the harvest comes
11:46
unpredictably. We think to ourselves, but I have to be more consistent. And the problem is not
11:55
us. The problem is we're living in this economy shaped by that imagination. So shaped by, for example,
12:01
digital platforms that thrive on the mechanization of self. Oh my goodness. The idea of these platforms
12:08
YouTube Spotify, all they want is for us to post it at the same time. Why? So that our listeners come
12:14
at the same time. Why? So that our listeners are habituated not only to our voices but they don't
12:19
care about our voices, but to the app. The creator is the mediating force between the listener and the
12:26
addictive property of the app that the app wants to ensure in the in the life of the listener.
12:32
The stickiness, the inability to not be on that app such that when you're on that app listening
12:37
to that podcast that's so consistent, you might be hunting and being like, oh, what else could I
12:41
listen to today? So they want to ensure our attention. And this is also the mechanization of the
12:47
self. We've been turned into data to be sold to advertisers. They don't care about our well-being.
12:55
They don't care about our peace. They don't care about our ease of tranquility.
13:00
They care about extracting as much data as possible to sell more and more precise information to
13:06
advertisers, right? That's that's the game here. That is surveillance capitalism, which is the
13:12
way that each of these technology platforms is structured. That's how they make money through ads.
13:20
So that's another form of mechanization of self. It's not about the artist. It's not about the
13:25
creator and what would be best for their creativity. It's about what the platform needs you to be
13:29
in service of that desire or that need to sell your attention to advertisers, to sell your listeners
13:35
attention to advertisers. So these are different examples I'm providing of the mechanization of self.
13:45
That is done to us and that we in turn do to ourselves or are made to do to ourselves.
13:52
So I want to say that if you're being inconsistent with your creativity or with a goal you said
13:57
for yourself, you said to yourself every Monday or every day and you're failing to do that,
14:02
it's just not working. Let's tap into the natural intelligence of inconsistency because
14:08
this is a message that you don't hear very often that what if inconsistency is not the exception
14:12
but the rule, what if it's not a defect, what if it's not a default, what if it's constitutive
14:17
of you as a person, you as nature, okay? What if the inconsistency that you observe in nature
14:29
and you don't even think of it as such because you think of it as the very fundamental nature of
14:35
nature, you look at a cloud, it's not consistent, it's what is it, what even is it, it's very,
14:41
very confusing. You look at sunset and what time the sun rises and sets and what type of sunset
14:47
and how bright it is or how dark it is, you think about rain and weather, you think about the waves,
14:53
you think about the trees and if you look at a tree it makes no sense, it makes no sense, I say
14:59
this all the time, you can tell I spend a lot of time looking at trees but there's an inherent
15:05
just chaos, the magic of chaos and that magic of chaos is in us babes, is in us and yet we are
15:14
told we should discipline this magic and make it coherent to the structured colonial imagination of
15:20
time and now it's a weekend, now it's a Monday, this is all made up, we know this over here,
15:26
it's all made up, time is free, we are not free under time but time is the colonized imagination,
15:34
it's the mechanization of the very resource of our lives which is our time, that is the fundamental
15:40
testament to our aliveness is that we are experiencing, we are in and in a sense we are time,
15:46
so I got my little journal here, isn't she sexy, look at her, am I a witch, I mean probably,
15:56
so we are alienated from our humanity and this is unjust and we will not stand for this,
16:04
okay, we will not stand, we will not even sit down, we'll do something else, so in the face of
16:11
you being inconsistent babe, you setting these goals that you didn't reach consistently and you
16:16
being so mean to yourself and you seeking self-help books to help you or you seeking podcasts to
16:20
help you develop into the highest version of yourself and you have all this potential if only you
16:25
committed and were disciplined, the thing is that if we keep needing to commit then maybe the
16:32
problem is the nature of the commitment, maybe there's something else that we can explore and
16:40
let's do that together today, so when we think about the idea that nothing in nature is perfectly
16:45
consistent, I want to run through a few examples of the way that this comes into fruition in nature
16:53
and I'm using the assistance, the assistance of chat GPT in order to do this, okay because this is
16:59
the world we're living in, I live in this world and so I thought well if you can't beat them,
17:04
I don't know what else, okay, so let's first think about fruit trees, so if you are a creator,
17:11
you are trying to bring forth your fruits, the fruits of your experiences and of your creations and
17:17
of your imagination, you're trying to create something from nothing and that is what a fruit is,
17:24
it's a seed and then it grows into the fruit and this is a complex process and so I think this
17:31
is a beautiful mirror for us as creators and nature as the creator, nature as the bearer of fruits,
17:38
well our fruit trees consistent, let's talk about it, no so I'm going to read to you from chat GPT,
17:45
let's cue the music babes, it's me I'm babes, okay fruit trees, fruit bearing trees like apple,
17:56
peach and cherry trees, isn't it so sexy that we live in a world with apple, peach and cherry trees,
18:02
it literally sounds like a fictional story and that is the earth like when you think about the earth,
18:08
it's so logistical that it seems made up like we could be living so differently it pains me to
18:14
think about this like we live on the only planet where life can be sustained and that has every single
18:18
resource that we need like we live in absolute abundance and on that point I'm currently doing
18:24
Deepak Chopra's 21 Days of Abundance Meditation Series helping you really think about how abundant
18:30
the universe and your life can be and what I loved is in the first one he spoke about how like
18:36
think about every grain of sand you could not even begin to count them think about all the leaves
18:42
on earth think about all the driplets of droplets of water on earth like we live on an abundant
18:48
planet that is so erotic and alive and in liveening and gives so much life
18:55
oh the sun is shining such that growth can happen and there's flowers and bushes and mountains and
19:02
berries and cherries and trees and oceans and lakes and rivers and people and there's
19:11
cheetahs and lions and lepids and ants and cockroaches and bees and it's just so abundant it is
19:18
the most abundant reality we could possibly imagine and that's just our planet and then we live
19:25
in the universe it's insane to me it's insane to me we live in absolute abundance and constructed
19:33
scarcity scarcity has been constructed to preclude very specific groups of people from abundance
19:41
and to steal that abundance and accumulate it as over abundance you know inequality it's so unjust
19:52
so these fruit bearing trees the apple trees the peach trees the cherry trees sexy just so sensual
20:00
so delicious so mysterious how this can occur can have irregular harvests due to factors such as
20:10
weather conditions during flowering and fruit development pollination success and disease pressures
20:18
so these fruit trees they're not on a schedule every Monday poop poop poop popping out of peach
20:24
popping out of cherry it's not how it works because it's divine creation it's cosmic alignment
20:31
but it's also influenced by environmental factors weather conditions so we could draw the
20:37
parallel to our lives the conditions that we are living in whether they stress that could be the
20:46
thunder there's anxiety there's sadness that could be the rain there's oppression there are all
20:53
these forces shaping our lives that affect the pattern and the timing on which we're able to create
21:03
this pollination success and remember bees and other animals play a critical role in pollination
21:10
so the idea that we may just not have available pollinators people that can deliver the pollen from
21:16
it where it was to where it needs to be those are our collaborators those are our mentors those are
21:21
our people who can make growth possible for us but what if we are living in a place or time where
21:27
we don't have access to those people then of course we're not going to be able to produce or to
21:32
create in the way that we were intended okay so it's beyond the individual the self again colonial
21:39
imagination is so tied to the myth of the self the self being the source of all its own problems
21:44
and the solution to all its own problems no we're a communal species we need each other
21:52
and so if you don't have community and you're struggling to reach your goals that may be the reason
21:57
you know and I invite you to see the wisdom in you conserving energy that you may need
22:04
for maybe just taking care of yourself or doing the best that you can rather than the energy
22:09
that might be required to create maybe you on some subconscious level the reason why
22:15
you're not showing up for these goals you created is because you know either it's not the right time
22:21
it's not the right climate it's not the right everything is in flux and I what I manifest for you
22:28
is that all of these futures are coming into being for you that the ripe conditions are coming
22:33
into being for you that the pollinators the bees the other types of pollinators that I don't know the
22:38
example of are going to come into your life I was speaking to a friend of mine who recently
22:45
completed a project that she's really really proud of that I was so proud of her for completing
22:50
and she said to me you know I've had this idea for two years but it was only two years later
22:55
that I met the people who had the skills and the energy that this project needed for me to also
23:02
bring it into life with them and collaborate with them but I didn't know these people I didn't have
23:07
access to such people before and so I couldn't have created the project sometimes you simply don't
23:12
have the resources or the collaborators or the community or the support system to really thrive
23:19
in your creation you know what I mean and I hope that we can trust that because the only what is
23:25
what do they say the only constant is change that just like nature everything is evolving all the
23:30
time I hope these conditions evolve such that they are so deeply conducive to the ripeness the
23:36
juiciness of your creativity and of your creations let's do another couple of examples of fruit trees
23:45
because I just think this is so poetic it's so fragrant it's so it's so delicious it's very it's
23:55
almost you could taste the word it's really fascinating actually if you think about it
23:59
so berries which I love I love berries abundant universe berries such as strawberries raspberries
24:09
and blueberries can exhibit irregular harvests because of factors like temperature fluctuations
24:16
during flowering availability of pollinators and variations in rainfall I mean the parallels are
24:24
so clear the harvest does not come on demand on a schedule on a routine structure discipline routine
24:32
hardness difficulty the harvest it has its own plans and it's in a complex conversation with the
24:40
universe and babes so are we just because we're not invited into understanding the full ways that we
24:47
are interacting with our environment with our community or lack thereof with our selves with our
24:53
histories with our backgrounds with our stories and then also with the soil that we're growing in
24:59
maybe it just there's not enough nutrients in the soil maybe there's not enough richness water
25:04
in the soil maybe we're in a part of the the land that has no sunlight and so we're not growing
25:12
the parallel here is that some things are beyond our control some things are beyond our control and
25:18
that may be leading to our inconsistency factors that cannot be solved by some self-help book that
25:23
wants to sell us the solution to a societal problem in an individual way the next example is citrus
25:33
fruits citrus fruits like oranges lemons and grape fruits can have variations in harvest times
25:41
due to factors such as the same so all of these fruits it gives grapes citrus fruits not trees
25:47
tropical fruits coffee cacao olive trees tea spices flowers all of these have inconsistencies baked
25:56
into their production their I don't even love that word their creation cycle so nature is inherently
26:04
dynamic inconsistent unpredictable irregular and we cannot impose on it the expectation that we
26:12
be otherwise because we are nature something that fascinates me so deeply and I always come back to
26:19
is the Oxford definition of nature and this is why we have to be wary of definitions because who
26:24
has the power to define the Oxford dictionary definition of nature and this blows my mind each and
26:30
every time the phenomena of the physical world collectively including plants animals the landscape
26:38
and other features and products of the earth as opposed to humans or human creations as opposed
26:48
to humans animals as opposed we are animals babe we are nature and so as I'm saying who creates
26:56
reality who creates definitions who creates our relationship to the way we interpret and name
27:03
and understand our conditions I'll leave that question with you let's tap into a few more
27:11
examples of the ways that nature is inherently inconsistent number one weather patterns
27:20
weather can be highly unpredictable with variations in temperature precipitation and wind patterns
27:28
even in relatively stable climates daily and seasonal fluctuations can occur due to complex
27:36
interactions between atmospheric oceanic and terrestrial systems I love that idea of complex
27:45
interactions we couldn't name the specific reason but we know and we have direct experience you
27:52
me of the the inconsistency of the weather both across days it could be sunny and then lightning
28:01
and thunder and rain in one day it could start with clear skies and it could end in a thunderstorm
28:08
and then there's the variability of nature across space and time in different places
28:13
I think that this idea of the weather reflecting some deeper human truth can be witnessed in the
28:20
salience in the power of the metaphors with nature that are used for mood I was visited upon by a
28:28
sadness much like a rainy season that would not end I felt in me a rage like a thunderstorm that
28:36
wanted to destroy everything in its midst I woke up for some reason on a cloud of joy and happiness
28:46
and I could not really pinpoint the reason for my bright and sunny disposition
28:53
and so we see this human connection this divine connection between the human spirit and soul
29:00
and the weather and the unpredictability of the weather and we know that the weather affects our
29:06
mood there's a really interesting relationship with like seasonal depression seasonal affective disorder
29:11
we are so we're such beings we're animals the rain makes us sad the gray makes us sad and depressed
29:20
and if we're creating from that space it's very difficult to create okay so weather is one
29:27
example of how if we are of nature and our nature and the very you know phenomenon that kind of
29:34
shapes our understanding and experience of nature and of reality which is the weather what I mean by
29:39
that is the weather is kind of this medium through which we perceive whatever is happening in nature
29:44
if it's a sunny day the tree will look one way if it's a rainy day the tree will look completely
29:49
differently to us the mood of reality is shifted by the weather how we perceive what is happening
29:57
in our environment is shaped often and or at least filtered through whatever the weather is that day
30:04
and so similarly we need to embrace the ways that there are fluctuations in our lives complex
30:11
interactions between systems maybe between our family and between between our family and our friends
30:18
what if you know everyone is ignoring you how are you going to create from that place or what if
30:23
you're feeling really alone or what if you are so excited by your friends that you don't want to
30:28
create you know there's just all these complex systems that's not a perfect example but we're
30:32
going to continue to move on to proceed to keep going and just say that this invariability that
30:38
exists in the weather exists in our souls exists in our lives is creative people which we all are
30:45
the second beautiful example of the variability the unpredictability the inconsistency of nature
30:52
that I want to invite us into is ocean waves picture the ocean waves it's ebbing and it's flowing
30:59
and it's back and it's forth and it's somehow both violent and dangerous and the most serene
31:05
and peaceful and calm thing it makes no sense because it's so vast and it also makes so much sense
31:11
because it's so whole it's so divine it's so made of something that feels sublime something that
31:20
feels cosmic something that feels so much bigger than our souls and yet of our souls
31:26
is that consistent is that force that we observe that we love is it consistent
31:34
that force that brings us so much ease that brings us a sense of our
31:40
smallness on this earth and yet our oneness with it as well a sense of all a sense of wonder if
31:46
that very force can be so powerful and yet so inconsistent in how it moves why would our creativity
31:54
be any different ocean waves are influenced by a multitude of factors such as wind speed direction
32:03
and ocean currents this leads to a wide range of wave sizes and shapes that can change rapidly
32:11
even within the same body of water so if we take this metaphor and we think of you as the same
32:19
body of water you deserve to fluctuate you deserve to ebb and flow you deserve a certain level
32:26
of unpredictability because when you observe this thing holistically that is you this person
32:32
this energy it is so divine you are the ocean the next example I want to give is of cloud
32:43
formations clouds come in a multitude of shapes and sizes constantly changing due to atmospheric
32:51
conditions that can be seen as our creativity it's not solid sometimes it feels like a cloud
32:58
and in Rick Rubin's book he speaks about ideas as a cloud if you don't write them down if something
33:05
strikes you but you don't capture it in some way like a dream it will fade it's a femoral
33:12
it goes where it wants to go it's mystical it's magical it's mysterious and remember that
33:19
quote from Julia Cameron tune into mystery not mastery it says similar to even the same body
33:32
of water it says even the same type of cloud can exhibit variations in appearance from one moment
33:39
to the next in what way are you fluctuating my love in what way are you a cloud in what
33:46
ways your creative energy creative inspiration in what way does it have this similar property
33:54
the next example crystal formation mmm witchy vibes witchy witchy vibes crystal formation crystals
34:03
while having consistent atomic arrangements can form with irregularities and impurities
34:10
that lead to unique shapes and colors isn't that beautiful we cannot separate what we love about
34:17
crystals from their irregularity from their inconsistencies these variations are due to the
34:24
conditions under which the crystals are formed and you are a crystal my angel unique precious
34:36
forged under certain conditions that shape who you are beautiful not in spite of your irregularities
34:44
but because of them and by beautiful I mean the spiritual beauty the all we feel when we look at
34:49
the ocean the all we feel when we hear music that just speaks to the divine in us speaks to the
34:56
majestical in us that is in you that is you we're just so alienated from that understanding and view
35:04
of ourselves and we live in a society that doesn't treat us that way and we cannot fathom a sense
35:09
of self that is alien from the way that that self is going to be regarded in the world
35:14
you are a crystal my angel
35:22
mmm okay the last example from nature that I want to offer you is when I already mentioned but
35:31
I think it's so powerful and that is the sunset and the sunrise oh my word the hands were going
35:38
that is the sunrise and the sunset one example of the mechanization of self is that through the
35:47
mechanization of time i.e. we have to be at a certain place at a certain time we are made to wake
35:55
up as though we're a machine at the same time despite variations in the quality of sleep we got
36:01
or what time we went to bed we have the demand through this system that we're living in of
36:05
capitalism of working and having to work in order to live which is so inhumane it's such an
36:11
inhumane social configuration when we are already worthy of life and worthy of enjoying that life
36:17
by virtue of us being human beings so through waking up at the same time and then going through
36:24
the same practices which can be beautiful like if you would choose it for yourself anyway it's the
36:31
fact that you are demanded to that makes it in my mind a toxic force the fact that let me not
36:39
call it toxic because that word is overused but that makes it a negative force is that it's demanded
36:46
of you it's not something your spirit chose for itself or chose in community with others it's
36:52
something that's required of you and therefore it has an oppressive quality to it and so we're
36:58
expected to wake up at the exact same time every single day the sun babes it has other plans
37:04
while we often associate sunsets and sunrises with vibrant colors the exact hues and intensities
37:11
can vary based on atmospheric conditions pollution levels and geographic location as can the
37:17
timing of the sunset and the sunrise as we all know and have had direct experience and observance
37:22
of so I like that because it's both the timing that's inconsistent but also the intensity
37:29
similar to the idea of the weather that some days you may wake up with this intense creative energy
37:34
and my hope is that you'll act on it when you do feel it but if it's not there sometimes it can
37:39
be summoned but sometimes it can't be so with those examples I hope that you feel more cosmic
37:49
alignment with the universe than when you came into this conversation I hope that you were able
37:54
to see the natural intelligence and wisdom of your inconsistency and see it reflected in and
38:00
mirrored in so many of these beautiful natural phenomena that we observe and that make us feel
38:06
a sense of wonder a sense of awe a sense of spiritual beauty
38:11
I'm not saying consistency is a bad thing of course I'm not saying that everything has a mix of
38:20
traits within it or most things let me say there are benefits to being consistent for me for
38:25
example as someone who's showing up for human beings it would be nice of those human beings new
38:30
when to expect to hear from me because that's just helpful it's helpful to know so that you can
38:35
plan accordingly and so that you can keep up and keep in touch with this person's mind and
38:40
consciousness and so that it can become a ritual in your life because I think the other side
38:44
of consistency is ritual it can be a beautiful practice to ritualize your life to do the same
38:51
sets of actions in service of something bigger than you but again when this is imposed on you
38:58
demanded of you when your worth is tied to whether or not you fulfill this or not that's when it
39:04
becomes problematic to me that's when it becomes an example of the colonial imagination because
39:09
they don't say ah be sensual and if you're not being sensual you are terrible and you should
39:16
feel bad about yourself and you should go read a book about being more sensual or if you're not
39:20
flowing with creativity or if you're not emotionally in tune with yourself you should feel ashamed
39:25
of yourself no they don't say that because we live in this very colonial and masculine and
39:31
we live in this colonial imagination that has its own values and then makes us feel bad for not
39:37
adhering to those values but those values were not are not our birthright our birthright is the
39:43
full spectrum of emotions I want you to not feel bad for being inconsistent that's my goal in
39:50
this I want you to feel human and divine I want you to see yourself reflected in the stars and
39:55
and the moon that waxes and wanes in its own kind of way and that is never quite the same position
40:01
and size and that is you know sometimes clouded by clouds that we couldn't have predicted and I
40:07
want you to feel this cosmic alignment not in the ways that you are showing up but in the ways that
40:12
you are not showing up what if you chose to love those parts as well or at least see them as part
40:18
of the universe everything you do is part of the universe that is that is just facts there's
40:24
nothing you could do that wouldn't make what you did part of the universe you know what I mean
40:27
because it's whole the universe is whole and you are in the universe and so whatever you do is
40:31
part of the universe so what if the things you do as part of the universe are part of both the
40:36
magic and the chaos and the sense and the nonsense nonsense in the sense of like so much doesn't
40:41
make sense there's so much we have no idea why it happens or how it happens what if you accepted
40:49
yourself as part of this divine and cosmic timing that your creations that yourself it's not a
40:56
harvest that can be demanded on schedule it's something much more divine than that much more
41:02
sublime and precious and also fragile fragile and susceptible and vulnerable in the best way we
41:11
are vulnerable just like the root in the soil is vulnerable to the soil's conditions and to the
41:16
quality of the air and to the quality of the sunshine and the availability of the pollinators and
41:22
all of those things we are just the same we are vulnerable and we are fragile and we are precious
41:28
and you are precious I want to close this episode with a paragraph from Rick Rubens book the creative
41:36
act a way of being which I truly enjoyed and referred back to and which also emphasizes the
41:42
need to be students of nature as many spiritual and creative teachers teach and I want to invite us
41:50
into this idea of cosmic timing a timing that we can't understand like the harvest like the sunset
41:57
like the sunrise like the ebbs and flows what if there's a timing that is beyond our
42:03
intelligence something that we tap into but cannot fully ever understand but that is working
42:12
perhaps even in our favor he says in nature some seeds lie dormant in anticipation of the season
42:22
most conducive to their growth I invite you to sit with that breathe with those words
42:32
in nature some seeds lie dormant in anticipation of the season most conducive to their growth
42:46
what does that mean it means you're waiting your hesitation is sometimes a form of natural
42:55
intelligence a form of waiting for the season most conducive to your growth to your creation
43:02
just like my friend who mentioned it was after two years that her pollinators her collaborators
43:08
came into her life and showed her that this dream this vision that she had was possible
43:14
if they did it together what if you know on some level it's not the right time and that's why
43:22
you're not showing up in this consistent manner continuing this is true of art as well there are
43:31
ideas whose time has not yet come or perhaps their time has come but you are not yet ready to
43:40
engage with them which is perfectly okay other times developing a different seed may shed light
43:49
on a dormant one switching seeds switching projects switching ideas so I think this is really
43:56
beautiful and invites us into the idea of cosmic timing of divine timing of a timing a schedule
44:03
process beyond our current understanding intuition or sight but that exists in our favor nonetheless
44:14
thank you so much for sitting with my consciousness today I am truly grateful and I feel like when
44:22
I'm doing this I'm doing exactly what I was put on earth to do so thank you for allowing me to
44:29
bring my offering to the flea market of life I'm standing here with her my fruits and I am proud
44:38
to be trying to serve your consciousness as best as I can what a noble what a beautiful I don't
44:45
know if the word nobility is something that I should be using or not but what a precious what a
44:50
beautiful in the spiritual way and profound pursuit and so I'm proud of my attempt that's all we
44:58
can do is attempt I'm proud of my desire to connect and to speak to that part of you that I feel
45:06
is so connected to the one in me thank you so much for being with me today I'm sending you all the
45:14
love I'm reminding you that what if your inconsistency is not the exception but the rule I love you
45:22
so much have a beautiful day take time just two minutes perhaps to do absolutely nothing
45:32
the sun shines from my heart into yours from my soul into yours from the cracks in my being
45:38
into the cracks in yours and I hope that together we have co-created a magical experience in this
45:45
episode and if we have it's because we have because my words can't penetrate your spirit unless
45:53
your spirit your heart is open to them so if this has moved you thank you for your openness thank
46:00
you for having an open heart that is allowed hours to connect all my love to you my darling have
46:08
a beautiful day I'll see you soon okay goodbye I hope some paradigms have been shifted for you in
46:14
today's conversation as always if you can please leave a five star rating on apple and Spotify
46:19
like comment subscribe I love you so so much okay I love you join me on my sub stack links
46:26
in the comment section go there okay love you so much love you bye