Latest / Dear Chelsea / Brooke Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old

Transcript

Brooke Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old · Dear Chelsea

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: How you holding up?
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: I am in Whistler. I returned to Whistler after everything
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: was canceled in Los Angeles, so I am here watching
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: from afar all the devastation, and how are you guys doing.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: We're holding up.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: It's nice to talk to you now that both of
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: our houses are hopefully not in immediate danger. And the
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: last time when we talked, we saw a plume of
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: smoke coming over our house and we had.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: To cut out early.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: So it's been a really scary couple or not even
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: a couple of weeks a week, and we're just hanging
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: in there for all our friends who've lost their homes
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: or businesses. And I know, I'm sure you have some
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: friends who've lost homes. We've got friends who've lost homes.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: So, and a special shout out to all of our
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: frontline workers and first responders and firefighters. The jobs that
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: they are doing are unfathomable and it's so scary, and
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: I have high hopes for us building back at Los
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Angeles that is safe, for more fire resilient, and a
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: more community centered place. I think this is a way
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: for all Angelina's to really come together and set the
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: tone for what it looks like to rebuild a city
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: that has been decimated, that has been pulverized.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Brand and I basically we had to
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: go get out of here once we knew we weren't
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: in immediate danger from the fires near our house. Saturday
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: and Sunday, we just went and volunteered to like get
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: the nervous energy out of our bodies. And it was amazing,
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: Like there were so many people. There were times when
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: the organizations we worked with had to like pause donations
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: or pause volunteers because they just like had too many
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: and it was you know, and then they restart again
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: and it was it was has just been really inspiring
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: to see everybody showing up for.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: The city, yeah, and for each other absolutely.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: And Chelsea, I know you wanted.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: To share some resources, so we've compiled a list of those,
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: and of course we'll have links to those in the
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: show notes. If you are somebody affected by the fires
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: and you need help, or if you live in the
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: Los Angeles area and you want to provide help, Mutual
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: Aid put together a spreadsheet that you can sort by area,
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: by need type, so they'll actually be in their updating
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: whether they need volunteers today or what kinds of donations
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: they need, whether that's clothing or tampons or diapers or
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: any of those things. So check that out if you
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: need help, or you're ready to give help, if you're
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: not in the Los Angeles area, or you're not able
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: to get out and help but you'd like to donate.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: We have several links in the show notes, and the
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: first one is a personal friend of ours. His name
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: is Patrick. He and Brad were in Save Varis together
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: for several years, toured all over together, and.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: He's abody who He's been through a.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Lot and really overcame a lot of adversity in his
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: younger years and went on to be an awesome single
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: dad and has a wonderful partner now. He bought one
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: of those typical tiny Altadna homes that his mom, who
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: had lived in her house for decades, moved to be
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: closer to them two blocks away, and both of them
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: lost everything but the shirts on their back. So he
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: would be a wonderful person to donate. My other friend Miles,
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: who I work with, who is on Daily Zeitgeist if
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: any of you know that show, he also lost his home.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: He and his wife and child got out ahead of
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: the fires, but they lost their home and everything in it.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: Alta Dina is also historically black neighborhood, and so someone's
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: put together a spreadsheet of all of the gofundmes for
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: Black families who lost their homes in the fires, So
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: we'll have a link to that as well, And if
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: you'd like to donate for displaced pets, Pasadena Humane is
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: doing wonderful work and they're right near Altadena. They're dealing
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: with a huge influx of pets and donations, so they
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: could really use the help. And then also the SPCA
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: in Los Angeles is doing great work. We volunteered with
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: them this weekend as well, and they a great place
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: to donate as well if pets are your thing. So
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: I know in times like this it can feel like
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: you're totally helpless and there's nothing you can do and
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: you're just watching something awful happen somewhere else. And donating
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: to one of these funds or to another you know
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: a friend of a friend who shares a GoFundMe, those
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: are ways that you can get involved and actually make
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: real change in real time for people who need resources
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: right now as they're like figuring out insurance and figuring
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: out what to do next, and figuring out where they're
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: going to live. Even five bucks helps, of course more
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: is great, but any small amount that you can help
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: these families out with, I know will be really really
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: well used.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Absolutely. And our guest this week is Brook Shields, as
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: she is here talking about aging. She has a new
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: book called brook Shields is Not Allowed to Get Old.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: And we've had her on the pod before and she's
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: back again. And I can't believe I used just use
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: pod as a nickname for podcast. That's where my head is.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: Is that?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Please Welcome brook Shields, Brook Welcome, Welcome back to the podcast. Brookshields.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: I love you, We love you here.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: I loved I found your book to be so comforting.
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: Oh good. I mean, I know you've written other books,
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: but this book is about aging, your thoughts on aging,
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: how your experience in aging. It's actually called Brooks Shields
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: is Not Allowed to Get Old, which I would imagine
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: to be a very real feeling for you. And as
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: you discussed in the books, there's so much stuff in
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: here about what it's like to feel like public property
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: and to feel like your physicality, your age, your body
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: was kind of owned by the public because of how
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: young you started working, and I don't think that's, you know,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: obviously a very common experience. I remember seeing you on
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Drew Barrymore and watching the two of you kind of
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: connect on all of the dysfunction that you experience, and
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh God, I hope there's more women
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: out there that they can connect with about it because
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: it's such an unusual experience.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: It is, and we had a very different reaction to
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: the experience, but I always felt very protective of her.
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: I've always felt like that, and I'm older, so that
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: helped it. I think it's more universal than we think
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: it is insofar as the ability for the world. Now
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: it's everywhere on Instagram or tiktoct or comments or whatever
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: it is. Everybody has so much to say about everybody else,
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: and we didn't ask for it, And you don't just
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: have to be in the public eye, right, You're just
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: a normal person who gets an Instagram account, you know.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: And so I think that part's more universal is that
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: we're constantly commented on our beauty. There's opinions, and that
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: they're voiced, and there's this the funniest thing happened to me.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: I was doing an Instagram live the other day for
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: the book, and all of a sudden, it pops out
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: in bold letters, because of course it had to be
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: all caps, just in case I didn't hear the man message,
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: and it was, oh, I really wish you looked the
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: way that you used to look when you were younger,
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: and I just left. I had to share it with
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: everybody live, and I said, hey, I said, I couldn't
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: tell this a guy or not, but I'm sure probably
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: was a guy. And I said, read the title. Read
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: the title, dude, and go that's the point.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Like, it's amazing to me because there's a story in
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: the book too, where that you reveal your age to
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: some guy and his wine cellar at his house and
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: he's like, I really wish you hadn't told me that.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: He says he was born in seventy two, you would
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: admit that you were born in sixty five, and he's
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: like almost disgusted that you would reveal that to him,
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: and that had to deal with his own age identity,
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: like it was bothersome to remind him of how old
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: he was. Yes, I mean, it's unreal that men feel
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: like they can say this to us, or say this
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: to you or any woman. I mean, it's just unreal,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: so ridiculous.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: Well, it's also even complimenting someone like, oh you look great.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: Well did you think I didn't look great before? Do
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: you think I've had work done? Do you think that
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: I've had that? I'm like, why is it so quick? No?
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: I know women, I always want to celebrate my friends,
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: so I'm always going to be positive about that. You know.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: It's Britney Spears being asked about our virginity. It's me
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: being asked to stand up so that Barbara Walters can
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: compare her measurements to me to a fifteen year old. Like,
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: it's just it's so absurd, but it has been so
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: allowed and perpetuated for so long, so I think that that's.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: It, you know, but it's still happening. Oh yeah, you know,
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: like that with Barbara Walters. That happens to you, what
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: fifty years ago, forty years ago? Like, it doesn't end,
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: it doesn't. It's kind of like where are we supposed
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: to be learning? In the beginning of the book, you
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: talk about you tell a story where you're being interviewed
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: by a reporter and they keep asking you the same question,
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: hoping that you're going to give a different answer, and
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: at some point you say that, you say like, I'm sorry,
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: I don't think I'm goingving you the answer you want,
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: and I know exactly what you're talking about.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: You start learning to play certain games, you know, and
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: you just to get through these things because you know
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: that they don't really care. Or I had to start
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: learning how to speak in sentences that couldn't be chopped
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: up to have a completely different meaning when they're put
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: in print.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And one of the things that's really really admirable
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: and very obvious to any outsider is that you have
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: over the years really realized as you've aged how to
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: stand in your power. One example being you know that
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: Tom Cruise incident that you speak about in the book
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: where he was talking about medication and with that with
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Matt Lower, I believe and was being very he was
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: calling Matt Lower glib because he was talking about you
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: and your postpartum and that you didn't really need to
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: take any medication. I think that was basically the gist
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: of it.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: Knowing nothing about your situation, knowing not not having ovaries.
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: By the way, a woman not being a woman, and
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: then so that and then you struck stood up for
• 10:04
  Speaker 4: yourself very publicly with an op ed in the New
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: York Times, Right yeah, and he came over and finally
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: apologized to you.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: But taking that on like that in it itself, you know,
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: a lot of people would be scared to take on
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: a celebrity of that magnitude, but he was so I
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: totally would never miss a beat to do exactly what
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: you did, because he was so misguided and so misinformed
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: and has absolutely no business speaking on that subject matter whatsoever.
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: So how did that feel like, having that apology come
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: from him? How did it feel to stand up for
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: yourself in that way?
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: You know, it felt very justified, And I think you
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: don't need the justification to stand up for yourself if
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: that wasn't the way I was raised. And so this
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: felt very clear because I was also not just fighting
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: for myself. I was fighting for women and the terror
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: that postparted can hoist on you and the danger of it,
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: and there was so much at stake for women, So
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: to have someone so considered powerful take all of this
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: that had been put forth to them women for the
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: first time really and just undermine it on such a level,
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: I couldn't stand by and do nothing. And I fired
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: my pubblesist over it because she said, do just that.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: Don't honor it with a with an answer, And I said,
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: don't honor it with an answer. I'm honoring myself and
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: other women who stand to be scared and hurt or
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: just need and deserve the information. And so I did
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: have a bigger not a bad responsibility, but there's like
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: bigger reason to do it because it's it wasn't selfish
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: as much as it was because I've known them forever.
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: A lot of the antics that I see people have,
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: you know, they're not in my life daily. So it's
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: like their antics are just like.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: I like antics.
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, to describe it, it's good, It's like, but if
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: this wasn't that anymore, This wasn't personal in a weird way,
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: he made it personal, and that was his mistake because
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: you know, not only was I like America's sweetheart by
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: that had been or whatever, and that's the joke we
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: use all the time in my house, but this was
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: women were They were outraged. And I even said to him,
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: I said, you know, you kind of barked up the
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: wrong tree because of my ability to respond and because
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: of what I have behind me that has been growing
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: for forty plus years. And I said, and it's something
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: you you're still not qualified to talk about, and you're
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: qualified to talk about what you want to talk about
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: for yourself in your body, but this is your way
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: out of your lane. And I said, so, Unfortunately it
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: kind of backfired on you, and it did. I mean,
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: we you had people coming out and people were still
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: talking about it and it's over twenty years later, you know.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: So I think it was a misstep. I think it
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: was a mistake that he dust up to making, and
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: I think he felt like it was a mistake and
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: he did apologize for it, and it was personal, right
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: And did I need him to do it publicly? Not
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: not really, because it was a different level of what
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: he needed to do in that opinion.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to flag something in your book too,
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: because you talk about having a grandma seizure, which is
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: pretty serious because you were training pretty hard or rehearsing
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: pretty hard for a Broadway show, right, and you were.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: We talk about water a lot, and I how much
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: I loath water on this podcast, I cannot drink it.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: I find it to be so boring. I constantly have
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: to put electrolytes in it just to flavor it. And
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: you have once again proved my point that drinking tons
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: and tons and tons of water does nothing to help you,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: especially if there is a heat wave happening.
• 14:12
  Speaker 5: You are depleting your system. The water itself is not
• 14:15
  Speaker 5: good enough.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: You need the electrolytes and the sodium to hold onto
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: the water.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: Some in my bag, Yes, I.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: Have Exca extract ones Element of course they're the best.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: So you passed out at a restaurant. You were going
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: a million miles an hour, it was the middle of
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: a heat wave. You're rehearsing for a Broadway play.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: And I go into this restaurant to thank one of
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: the women that worked there for coming in to see
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: it run through. And as I walk in, two women
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: come up to me, and I don't know what they
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: were talking about. I think maybe they were talking about
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: the documentary. I don't know. On the video, you see me,
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: you know, engage with them, and then you see me
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: sort of like go like this, and then you see
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: me do this a lot, and then I just I
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: just go down and I hit my face on a
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: serving station and one of the women that came up
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: to me was a registered nurse. What are the chances
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: it was really bad? And then I woke up in
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: the ambulance with Bradley Cooper. With Bradley Cooper, as one does.
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: Hey, whenever anyone has a grandma seizure in New York City,
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: Bradley Cooper appears. Just everyone should just appear.
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: And the first thing that goes through your mind is,
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: I must have not made it.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: But you're good friends with him, or you're friendly with him.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: He lives in your neighborhood, so he was there because
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: your assistant had reached out to his assistant. A lot
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: of da da da da. That was that the first
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: that was Is that the first and last grandma seizure
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: you've had? Brooke?
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: Yes, oh, thank god, Yes that is the first one
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: I've I have fainted before at times, and I have
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: low blood pressure, which is why I need the electro
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: like and I need the salt, so I need stopped
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: in my diet because of that, because I have low
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: blood pressure. And so the times that I've thinked it
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: have all been because somehow the sodium is low.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: So no, to all our listeners, water isn't just going
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: to do it on its own. So drinking copious amounts
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: of water with nothing in it, it's useless. You might
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: as well have to die coke.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: But also in the hospital, do you remember that up
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: in the hospital, yes, that the doctor said, yeah, you
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: go ahead, do you tell it. They were the two doctors. Okay,
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: they were men. This is not a male hating thing,
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: but they both once said, are you restricting salt, ma'am
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: because of dietary reasons? I was like, first of all,
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: don't call me ma'am.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: And don't talk to me in that tone.
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: Yes, And I said in second of all, I said,
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: I'm a fifty eight year old woman, I look younger, bloated. No,
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: I do not restrict salt. And I find that very
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: rude for you to ask me that that question. And
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: my husband like put his arm on my arm, and
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: I'm like, don't tell me to change my tone. I
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: didn't like that tone. He doesn't have to like my tone.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: And then I got asked it again by another one
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: of the nurses that came in, the male nurses that
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: are you sure now you weren't definitely, And I was like, wow,
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: would you ask a man that question.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: I don't think so, I just don't know, of course not.
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: And the way men talked to women and in all
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: medical ways, like I mean, yes, there are great doctors
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: out there who obviously asked the right questions. But you
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: speak a lot in this book about advocating medically for
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: yourself in many different circumstances where you've been stuck in
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: the hospital, you broke your femur, you were in the
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: hospital for over a month. I think you, I mean you,
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: and it was during COVID, so there were I mean,
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: or you were also in the hospital during COVID. So
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: you've been through You've been through it a lot, and
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: you understand the kind of way that that women are
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: spoken to. I mean, you got an accidental vaginal rejuvenation
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: in the hospital that you didn't act.
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: It was an accidental. It was an accidental. It was
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: a little a little uh, I got it. Two fur
• 17:58
  Speaker 3: got a gift. He thought he was doing some big favor.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: I was just shocked, absolutely by tightening your vagina. So
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: she goes in, wait, so tell that story. That's absolutely absurd.
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: It's insane. And also, let me just say one thing
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: before I get to my vagina yet, again, which always
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: is a very topic of conversation, you know. I also
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: it's not lost on me that I'm blessed enough to
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: be able to have good healthcare and attention. I was
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: taken care of well, I wasn't being you know, shoved
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: in a hallway something. So it's like I sort of say, like,
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: it's very hard to self advocate, but they're a little
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: bit afraid of me because I'm famous or something and
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: so like. But that's a that's like a luxury. I
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: mean without that, it's even a hundred times worse for
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: women and women of color to have the even the
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: space and have anybody's ear to be able to self
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: advocate and ask the questions. And how do we know
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: what the right questions are? Anyway? I was, I was
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: asked by my gun cologist after maybes, actually is I
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: was a bit wrong and the timing. But if there
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: was any discomfort ever because of labia, and I've been
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: experiencing it my entire life, like cheerleading and tight jeans,
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: give me jeans and then spinning and you know, sex
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: and like all this stuff, right, and I just thought
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: you just had to deal with stuff. Some people had
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: one boob different some people, you know, and I didn't
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: know anything about it. And when I was asked if
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: I had had that kind of discomfort, it was such
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: a revelation. She said, there's nothing to be ashamed of.
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: She said, I see it all the time, and it's
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: very common and it's very fixable. It unfortunately falls under
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: cosmetic surgery, so insurance probably isn't going to cover it.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: And so she said, why don't you get a consult
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: and see if it makes sense to you? And after
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: having some thing bothered me for so many decades, you
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: can't even believe there there might be an option. And
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: so he drew this whole sort of diagram about how
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: kind of easy it was to do and now he
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: does it all the time, and you know, and I
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: was talking about just the discomfort. I signed up for it,
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: got it done, came back you know, a week later,
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: our postop or whatever, and you know, he said, oh,
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: it's still more difficult, and it took me longer. And
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, I don't need all the details, thank you. Like,
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: if it's good, it's good.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: You're like, we could watch the video when we haven't yet.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: We have a night, have nothing to do, because I'm
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: sure you have that.
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: And so I just like, is it all good? My healing?
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: Is everything fine? How long will it take? All the questions?
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: And then he said, and uh, well, I uh I
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: threw in a little rejuvenation for you. And I said,
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, what what what do you mean. That's a
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: different word than reduction. That's a different word than reduction.
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: He goes, well, yeah, I know, I just tighten you
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: up a bit. And I said, you did what? He goes, yeah.
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: I was like, what my planning on being a porn star?
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: I was like, I don't, don't, I don't understand. I didn't.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: I was like, plus, you had c sections, right, two
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: c section didn't even get breath vaginally.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: No, my babies were IVF. I could argue, I'm still
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: a virgin.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: Oh god, it's so house matters, so gross. Oh, just
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: one of the things. I know we have to move
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: on to Callers Catherine, but I do want to touch
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: on one thing that I found very moving, Brooke. I
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: thought this was really like, not only brave, but it
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: was just a sign of what age brings us and
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: the wisdom it brings us and the confidence that we
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: gain in allowing ourselves to be honest with ourselves. And
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: one of the things that you write about in the
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: towards the end of the book is the kind of
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: what ifs in your life, like what if my career
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: had gone in a different direction? What if I had
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: gotten this movie Dangerous Liaisons that I was up for
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: That was given to Uma the Thurman, who got part
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: what if you had been on a different trajectory? And
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: you kind of talk about the way that you think
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: of things, and not in an ungrateful way at all,
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: not in a way of not understanding how fortunate you
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: are and how iconic you are and what that brings
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: to the table, but in a way that is thoughtful
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: and kind of looking at the past. And I think
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: a lot of women are unable to do that until
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: they are a certain age. They are unable to admit
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: that they would have liked and they or they're wondering
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: what could have been if things had gone in a
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: different direction. So I found that to be very powerful, because.
• 22:40
  Speaker 5: People will always be like, oh no, no, no, everything that's
• 22:42
  Speaker 5: meant to be is meant to be, and that wasn't
• 22:44
  Speaker 5: meant for me. I find myself saying that a lot
• 22:46
  Speaker 5: of times when things don't go my way, and it's
• 22:48
  Speaker 5: more like it's part self convincing and part making sure.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: You're not being a cry baby. Right, yeah, right, So
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: talk to me a little bit about that, express to
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: our listeners how you came about admitting to even feeling
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: that and then wanting to write about it for other women.
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: You know. There it's something that I've pined for, you know,
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: and has pained me for so long, and there's this
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: validation of my talent, right, and it's not about looks
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: or beauty or anything like that, because that I never
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: put too much stock in because it was just a job.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: And also education was more important to me, so I
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: got fortified really quickly by going to college. So that
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: was my version of rebellion just for myself. But you know,
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: I've had the same therapist for quite some time, and
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: it's a theme that keeps coming back, and it's a
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: theme that is, you know, what if or I know,
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: I'm just famous and nobody thinks I'm really that talented
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: or well, thank god I found comedy because that's what
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: I do really well. But yeah, I still don't and
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: I started to I always believed I was less than
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: because I wasn't what these other actresses who were very
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: serious were, and you know that I would work with
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: some of them in a comedic setting and I would
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: see them struggle with comedy, and then I would think, oh,
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: that's interesting. You know, we're different players on the same team.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: You know. I don't play ball sports anyway, I mean
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: any sports lately.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: No lacrosse.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: There can you imagine?
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: No, I can't imagine lacrosse. I'm still trying to figure
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: out what lacrosse is. Quite frankly.
• 24:32
  Speaker 3: Yes, it's a lot of the cribbing or something like that.
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: But I just like saying ball sports because it just
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: feels good coming out of my mouth, and I think
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: it's funny. But this less than and then this piece
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: that I used to counteract it with. Yes, but Brooke
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: not only a good comedian, but you also you know,
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: you've built this career and people trust you, and you've
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: got education and you can write. And it was always
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: a justific And I thought, well, if I'm still doing
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: this in my fifties, clearly I still have a problem
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: with it. And I don't know if I'll ever get
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: over it. I don't know. I don't even know if
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: that's the kind of work I want to do. But
• 25:15
  Speaker 3: to have not been chosen whenever I went out and
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: tried for those parts, and then to be too famous
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: and too recognizable to even be up for those parts,
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: it always felt like this, It may have not even
• 25:32
  Speaker 3: been a missed opportunity, that I may have never even
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: got that that didn't matter. It was how I demeaned
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: my talent, you know. And I always focus on while
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: I'm a survivor and look unhealthy, I'm not a total
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: train wreck. And that took use of education in parents,
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: and you know, my therapist would say, you got to
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: give yourself some credit for your in a character. You
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: do have a made character that sees things and chooses
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: the way you choose. She said, you know, you're not
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: just just a product of your parents or society or
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: the press or your history. She's like, there is something
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: that's broken there that is just her, you know. And
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: that kind of was like, what that is a new concept.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: But this, the pining for being seen like the actresses
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: I admire, was so persistent for so long, and I
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: could work on all the other stuff right and just
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: feel good about it. But I just recently had the
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: opportunity to act in front of Basically, it was hardly
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: opposite because I had all the dialogue, two very prominent female, brilliant,
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: award winning lovely women, one in her like six early seventies,
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: when I'm a little bit older than and you know,
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: the women I admire and I've known over the years
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: met immediately, you know everybody, And I got asked to
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: do this one it's two days, but we just did
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: one day so far in front of them, and it
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: involved only emotion and only tears and only all the
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: stuff that makes me cringe. And I thought, oh, well,
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: don't do it. You don't want to do it, you
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: know want embarrassors have, you can't do it. And then
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: I thought, well, I can't say no to this opportunity
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: when for decades I've been asking for the opportunity. Now
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: all of a sudden I get it, and I'm not
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: going to say yes because of fear. Won't you're pussy?
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: Like what are you doing? Like? I was just so
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: there were so many emotions, and I went there and
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: I came out of the gate a little too hot
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: because I was trying, and I was nervous, and I
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: was sweaty and then I just sat down and said,
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: you know what, They're not going to fire you. You're
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: in one day. They obviously think you can do it.
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: They don't want to look back and have it be
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: your fault. They don't really care about you. Not the actresses,
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: but the production. I don't even know what the real
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: name of the production is, believe it or not, because
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: it's also top secret. And I thought, you don't want
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: to burn bridges, you know, or just do it? Just
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: do it. And I went to the director and I said,
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: I think I'm trying to do too much and I
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: don't think it's right. I said, I have a theory
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: about this, and she said, I was coming over to
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: tell you that right now. She said, you don't have
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: to try hard. She said it's all there and we're
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: watching it. She said, just trust and just do it.
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: And what happened at the end of the day, after
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: having to do it over and over and over again,
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: was I got validation. And I'm not ashamed to saying
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: you did it. I was a little girl in those moments.
• 28:53
  Speaker 3: I was a little girl with those actresses, and I
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: was a little girl with you know, mommy and daddy,
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: the director, and each one of the women, in their
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: own way, gave me like a and they gave it
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: to me as if you know, you did a good job.
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: I heard it as they thought I did a good
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: job right, which was what I needed at that moment.
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: And I knew it too, I did, but I didn't
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: I wasn't really open to hearing it. The director came
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: up to me after a sixteen hour day and she
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: said that was really beautiful. And I said, oh, thank you,
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: thank you. I'm glad it worked out, and thank you
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: for having me and you know, and then she went, no, no, no,
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: she's from Germany. She put her hands on my shoulder.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: She said, I think you need to hear this. You
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: blew me away. Oh and that was it, and thank
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: you for being open. And I just I needed that, yeah,
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: you know. And then whether I do any more of
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: that again, I probably don't even really covet it in
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: the same way. And should I be ashamed that I
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: needed three women to you know? Was I lucky that
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: I got that chance, Yes, but I also just needed
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: to know it from myself and without even getting it
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: from them. What the director said was icing on the cake,
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: because at the end of it, now I called my
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: husband before I heard any of that, and I just said,
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: is I got to do? I said, I did it.
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: I did it. I did inside, knocked it out of
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: the park, and I'm going to get you know, little
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: gold men, just you know, all over the place. But
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: it didn't matter about that anymore. It didn't matter about awards.
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: It didn't matter about those things that as a little
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: girl and going to the Academy Awards sitting in the back, back,
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: back up, nosebleed seats and thinking one day I'm going
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: to get there one day like that silliness and to
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: just say, you know what, I'm I'm okay, and I
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: am good enough, and I don't I can release that
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: from myself and and just I can release it, which
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: was just, I mean, it was a pretty extreme, great
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: way to get it. I have to say I would
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: have liked I mean, I would still be working on
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: getting it without such obvious validation. But it I no
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: longer have the same pining that I used to. And
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: I also look at my life now and I definitely
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: would not have the life. I wouldn't be able to
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: live the life that I'm living had I not had
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: the level of fame and access if I had just
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: been on the path that I thought I was going
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: to be on, you know, the Natalie Portmant path when
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: she did the professional which was sort of her pretty Baby,
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: you know, and working with the Louis Mills and Suffarellis
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: and really being in that Wisconsin, that world and then
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: all of a sudden turned on its head and you
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: got dolls made after you. You know, it always rocked me.
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: I think anyone can relate to that whole notion of
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: thinking that you're going to be going in one direction
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: and finding out that that's not your destiny, and then
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: also embracing what your destiny is, which is something you've
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: also done.
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: I just recently said no to singing opposite Cynthia Revo
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: in Lincoln Center, and I was begged to do it,
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: and I mean, what idiot would say no to that?
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: And I turned it down and I said, you know what,
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: this is not my strength, my forte. I would have
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: loved to have said, I was did it, I'm okay.
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: Not having your vocal prowess like I'm okay. And that's
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: another piece too, is really knowing, like knowing what your
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: strengths are. And I think that that's an important thing
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: to be willing to admit. Yeah, I'm not that great
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: at that. I'm fine with it, and they wanted me
• 32:49
  Speaker 3: for some reason. But you know, walking away from something
• 32:52
  Speaker 3: too that you just know in your heart of hearts
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: you won't be able to soar with. It's a very
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: new concept for me.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: I wanted that. Yeah, No, I love that. I love that.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: So we're gonna take a break. I'm go'll be right
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: back with Brookshields And we're back with Brook. Okay, so
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: you started a brand, Well, it started with you wanted
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: a community to build community with comments, which is something
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: that you have been thinking about doing, and for women
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: over forty who are going through all of the same things,
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: all of the same emotions, all of the feelings of
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: kind of stepping into who you really are, which is
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: something you know. It sounds very cliche, but I mean,
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: I'm forty nine, I'm gonna be fifty in a couple
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: of months.
• 33:36
  Speaker 5: I've never been happier in my life because I understand
• 33:39
  Speaker 5: now where the joy is and to go after that
• 33:41
  Speaker 5: instead of going after all of the other stuff that
• 33:44
  Speaker 5: we think we have to go after to make us
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: relatable or relevant or successful. Like now I know we're happy. Yeah,
• 33:54
  Speaker 5: I don't make I don't date idiots. I don't do
• 33:57
  Speaker 5: stupid things like I used to when I'm younger. So
• 33:59
  Speaker 5: the joy and the power of aging is more than
• 34:03
  Speaker 5: what we've been talking about, more than what we've been
• 34:05
  Speaker 5: hearing about for the last many years about your confidence
• 34:08
  Speaker 5: and about your sexual prowess or how you come into
• 34:11
  Speaker 5: your own.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: It's more than that. It's more. It's about And this
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: is a word that you use a lot too, which
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: I use a lot in my book that's not out yet,
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: but joy, finding joy, finding joy in everything you do,
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: enjoying your.
• 34:25
  Speaker 5: Life, especially where you at the stage you're in, where
• 34:28
  Speaker 5: your girls are gone, they're often doing their thing, and
• 34:31
  Speaker 5: you have to rediscover what are the things that make
• 34:34
  Speaker 5: you happy and prioritizing yourself and also saying no to
• 34:38
  Speaker 5: all of the bullshit that we've said yes to our
• 34:40
  Speaker 5: whole lives because we want to please other people.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: And then you've also had this hair brand because everyone
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: loves your hair. Obviously you have the most famous hair
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: and it's for women who are fitting, who are going
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: through menopause, going through perimenopause, dealing with hair fitning. Do
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: you want to talk a little bit about Commands Bruck.
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I started it as the community to really empower
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: women to age joyfully. I mean joy was a word
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: we've always had with us, and joyfully and you know
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: we say fearlessly, but it's not a call to action,
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: it's not pressure. It's just there's joy to be had.
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: And we've done so much in our lives, whatever it is,
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: we've gotten to this age that's tremendous. Right. You start
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: having the conversations with women and they are craving it
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: and it's pervasive. And the women that I know who
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: are over forty are fabulous and they are not so
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: down on themselves. They're wondering what's next. And this sense
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: of joy as to there's more to come is not
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: what society or the beauty industry really is the narrative
• 35:46
  Speaker 3: they're feeding us, right, and it's certainly not historical. So
• 35:49
  Speaker 3: we analyzed who we were as a brand and we said,
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: you know what, we're not just a hair care brand.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: We're not just a beauty brand. We are a care brand.
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: It is you know, we always say take care, and
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: there's a lot that means that take care of yourself,
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: take care to be listening to yourself, take care when
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: it's offered, and be good to you, like find where
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: you are joyous and cut out the people and the
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: things and the experiences and the time sucks that are
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: out there, and let's see what we would do with
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: this extra time or how we'd feel. But we started
• 36:28
  Speaker 3: to develop hair care with very strategic, smaller groups, with
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: very very active ingredients, working directly with the lab. So
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: we're not a not even a massige. I guess they
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: call it brand. We've kept it small, we've kept the
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: price point very relatable, and they deal with scalp health.
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: Scalp health is a thing in women that changes most dramatically.
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: You know, the actual follicle, the root where it goes
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: into the poor actually shrinks. It's so fair the things
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: that shrink when you get older and the things that
• 37:05
  Speaker 3: drop and get bigger. Hair is one of them. Your
• 37:08
  Speaker 3: scalp health. There's patchiness of dry hormonal reactions where moonal
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: changes luster, all of these things, and we went a
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: deep dive and we created that six products that dealt
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: with addressing scalp health and therefore hair health from the
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: root out. So that is that is the one piece
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: we will be moving into other categories. I don't want
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: to become just a haircare brand or just proliferate that
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: and then just hold up things and say by this
• 37:39
  Speaker 3: because I said it. I put my own money into it.
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: Then I ran out of my own money. Then I
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: had to raise money. Startups are brutal, and you know,
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: I spend more of my time trying to raise money
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: and spend more of my time pivoting so that our
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: team is amazing. I've never been a CEO. I can't
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: believe the things that are coming out of my mouth
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: when I'm like going like this in a book and
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: I'm just learning, and I'm coming into exactly the clarity
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: that started the company when I started the community, and
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: that is really solving all of what makes a woman's
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: life her life in this and beauty is a big
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: piece of it. Body care is a big piece of it.
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: You know, there's scent is a big piece of it.
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: There's so many things that do give us joy that
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: I used to think of as luxuries or take.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: For granted, right, I mean, we take for granted all.
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: Of that stuff We're frivolous to spend time on. Now,
• 38:37
  Speaker 3: my time a lot of it gets spent on just me.
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: So the company is called Commens and the community is
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: the Commenced Community, and they keep growing. Well.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: On that note, I think we should give some advice
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: to callers. Catherine, do we have time for a couple
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: of calls? We have them for probably like one. Okay, great,
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: let's do it. Let's do it.
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: Okay, so we have color DD, she says. Dear Chelsea,
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: I'm a twenty eight year old married mother of two,
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: and I've always been close with my own mother. Don't
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: get me wrong, she was a good mom, but I
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: probably could have used a mother more than a friend
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: sometimes when growing up. Nowadays, we do a lot together.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: She comes over almost every Saturday to watch football and
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: drink beer. We go out, and we even went to
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: Chelsea's show in Atlanta a couple of years back. But
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: since she hit menopause and started hormone replacement therapy, she
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: is like a cat in heat. She's always been one
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: to look good and presentable. She's a beautiful woman and
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: is no stranger to male attention. She was always cool
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: and confident, not a tryhard. Now it seems like she
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: needs every male's attention and females too. She over analyzes
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: every outfit and photo she's in and will ruin a
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: whole outing with her mood if she feels she doesn't
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: look amazing. She also drinks to excess and sometimes makes
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: a fool of herself.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: If she isn't.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: Drunk, she's irritable. I have two young kids. All their
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: grandparents are dad besides her. I thought she might enjoy
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: stepping into her grandmother role and being there for me
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: in ways she wasn't when I was a teen, But
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: she's proving to me that all she cares about is
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: happy hour with meaningless acquaintances. She's fifty one and has
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: never had a successful romantic relationship. She doesn't think she
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: should have to answer for any of her bad behavior
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: and brushes it under the rug or plays a victim
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: when I call it out. We don't have the best
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: history with communication, but for the past few years I
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: have really worked on myself and how I handle my relationships,
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: and I wish she could do the same. How do
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: I tell my mom she's letting me down without the
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: message being completely lost. I'd love to hear from you, ladies.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: Signed disappointed daughter.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: Hi, disappointed daughter, Hi, Hi, this is our special guest today, Brookshields.
• 40:36
  Speaker 6: Hi, so nice, hey.
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: Nice to me.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: She's a mother of two daughters, so I'm sure she
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: can relate to some degree to this.
• 40:45
  Speaker 5: Well, well, that's really tough. It's really hard when your
• 40:48
  Speaker 5: mom is embarrassing. But all moms are embarrassing, Yes, I have,
• 40:53
  Speaker 5: This is true. All parents embarrassed. You're full last night,
• 40:56
  Speaker 5: you're annoying. You're just annoying.
• 41:00
  Speaker 6: I know, and we've been through all that. I don't
• 41:02
  Speaker 6: want to be mean to her by any means.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: But no, and I don't think judgment from your children
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: is how that this kind of phase of her life
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: is how she's going to either snap out of it
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: or grow up a little. I don't think it's going
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: to come from you, because it's really hard, Brooke. I
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: would imagine to take criticism from your children and judgment,
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: and for.
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: The most part, that's sort of their job. I mean,
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: I have eighteen and twenty one and they're not moms yet,
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: but they also they are the one that in particular
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: is full of judgment and it's constant. And her version
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: of it is she needs to individuate from me, and
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: she doesn't know how to do it, so she fights
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: me to hate me, and then it can justify her leaving.
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: But I feel like as the age your mom is,
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: I think she's scared. I think she's feeling that about herself.
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: She's watching you. I don't know how old your baby is,
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: but as you watch your daughter sort of launchpad into
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: this vibrant area of their lives, and your ovaries and
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: everything is going to work for and you are watching
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: your what you think is your demise, right, It's it's
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: very unsettling to see and to see the beauty in
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: your daughter and then to look in the mirror and
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: not see the same thing. And then you step outside
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: and the world attacks you for being fifty. For you know,
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: you're over the hell you're this, You're not represented. You're
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: either this twenty year old girl at the bar, or
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: you're in depends and dentures. That's what they have relegated
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: us to, right, And I think that it's I don't know.
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: I mean again, I don't give advice, but what I
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: will say is that the times that my mom my
• 42:54
  Speaker 3: children that because I've my mom was in a very
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: different broken place and she was older, but the times
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: that as a mom I have been with my girls
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: and they've looked at me and led with just love
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: and said, I know it must be hard, mom, but
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: I think you're beautiful, or they've said, wow, I think
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: that you should, like, don't put yourself down. Like you
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: taught me to love myself. You've got to you taught
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: me how to be like this. The problem is if
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: she's so resistant, I mean, she has to do the
• 43:25
  Speaker 3: work on herself because nothing you say that's positive is
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: going to make her like herself.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: No, but I do.
• 43:30
  Speaker 5: Think positivity goes a long way in helping people face themselves,
• 43:35
  Speaker 5: like judgment doesn't, do you know, you just create resistance.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: You create like, oh, I'm going to rebel against you.
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: And even though you are in more of the mother
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: role like you guys, kind of sounds like you have
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: flipped your roles and you are a mother and I'm
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: assuming you're responsible and she's seeing that. I think everything
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: Brooke said is spot on, Like I think you have
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: to really look at her with some compassion and understanding
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: of what you might be going through and instead of
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: the judgment. I have a friend who's dealing with this
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: with her mother, very similar circumstances, and she really did
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: just flip the script. She's like, no, I'm just going
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: to go at her with compassion and love and tell
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: her about all the wonderful things about her until she
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: really starts to believe them herself. And when she does
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: start to believe them herself, she is going to be
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: a little bit different. And there are different ways. You know,
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: you can do that too, and with books and hopefully
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: encouraging her to, you know, do some therapy. Maybe you
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: can volunteer to do some therapy with her, just just
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: to push her and to get like, not because something
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: is wrong, but to push her to really find out
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: what her purpose is, right, like to experience this life
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: in the best way. She's in now in her fifties.
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: This is a whole new opportunity to have a whole
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: new life, you know, I look at fifties kind of
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: like a reset.
• 44:50
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and that's kind of how I saw it. I
• 44:53
  Speaker 6: was like, why is she spending so much time worrying
• 44:56
  Speaker 6: about validation from others and or how she looks this
• 45:00
  Speaker 6: and that when it's like this could be such a big,
• 45:03
  Speaker 6: beautiful away time, but.
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she's not feeling in ourselves.
• 45:07
  Speaker 6: Yeah, nailed You nailed it with what you said Brooke,
• 45:10
  Speaker 6: and she has been kind of like I started reading
• 45:14
  Speaker 6: more again and she was like, oh, like she asked
• 45:16
  Speaker 6: me recently kind of what's do I have a recommendation
• 45:20
  Speaker 6: or whatever? And I was like, oh, so she is
• 45:21
  Speaker 6: kind of I noticed kind of picking up, you know,
• 45:24
  Speaker 6: just kind of if you want, I'm kind of being
• 45:26
  Speaker 6: the example. You know, like how many people do I
• 45:29
  Speaker 6: need to be an example for? But if that's what
• 45:32
  Speaker 6: I need to do to get my mom to see
• 45:34
  Speaker 6: her full potential and beauty and everything, then I'm absolutely
• 45:39
  Speaker 6: willing to.
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: And you're thankful for I mean, well, what I've said
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: worked for me is whenever my daughters will say something
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: like well, Mom, you know I got that from you,
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: it doesn't give me anything to fight against because I
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: love what I see in her and then she's attributing
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: it to Mom. You know that's what you you should.
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: I want you to feel what I feel. And I
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: wouldn't be able to feel these things had you not
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: taught me that I could feel as good about myself
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: for and even in therapy, you have to be really
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: careful because it should be like I would love this
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: for me, and then you know, otherwise they feel attacked
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: and it's like a you know, like an intervention. Then
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: you're there to tell them everything they're doing wrong. And
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: the flipping of it is so I tell my younger daughter, no,
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: tug of war only works if both people are pulling right,
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: and so you don't, you don't do it and you
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: lead with this kind of kindness because they're not hearing
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: any of that kindness reflected back to them. When they
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: look in the mirror, they're seeing just what they're not.
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: They're not this enough, they're not young enough, they're not
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: thin enough, they're not that enough, they're too many ring
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: o bla blah blah blah. And the tapes just keep going,
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: and the more you're reflected to her as in like, wow, mom,
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: this you know, but this is I learned so much.
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: I got this and and it's so much fun. And
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: why don't we start around a little book club?
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: Definitely?
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: And do you know? And then you could talk about
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: characters and then you're not talking about yourself, Like there's
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: there's ways.
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: Start with Brooks book. This is a great book for
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: you and your mother to read together.
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: That's about aging, it's funny, and yeah, it's about.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: Her relationship with her daughters, and how she's stepping into
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: her own confidence over the course of her life at
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: different ages, and and kind of the various bursts of
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: self empowerment that women receive and experience. This is a
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: great thing. Start reading books with your mom and start
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: finding books that are actually going to have like an
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: impact onto her perspective and her value.
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: You know, she doesn't feel valuable right now, right right,
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: and you're gone.
• 47:44
  Speaker 6: That was my next question is if you have any
• 47:46
  Speaker 6: book recommendations, So that's that's perfect.
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: There are lots of others too.
• 47:50
  Speaker 6: Oh well, I was planning on reading yours anyway, I'm excited.
• 47:53
  Speaker 3: Oh okay, well, I mean.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: You just had the Mel Robbins on the podcast. She
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: wrote a book called Let Them, which is really about
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: letting other people do their shit and stop trying to
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: control other people and letting them, which is good for
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: you and good for your mother, because yeah, you could
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: read it together. I don't want you to think like, oh,
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: this is such an onus on me. You already have
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: to take care of your children and now you have
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: to take care of your mother. Listen, we're given as
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: much as we can handle. Clearly, your mom, like you're
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: more in a more capable position right now, in this
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: moment in time, than your mother is. So take that
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: responsibility on with joy. That is a great gift that
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: you're able to give to your mother.
• 48:29
  Speaker 3: Not a burden. Don't look at it like that because
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: you'll resent.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: Right, you don't want to resent your mother. You want
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: to help your mother. You want her to flourish. So
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: think of some other activities that you guys can do
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: together that don't evolve happy hour or don't evolve going
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: to a bar.
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: Maybe you do join an actual book club. Maybe you
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: find some other activities where she can like meet people,
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: or it's a social environment. But it's not all about
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: the drinking and just hanging out and doing nothing, you know,
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: and like.
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: A lot of drinking is about avoidance. I mean, it's
• 48:59
  Speaker 3: just it's pretty pretty obvious and clear. And she feels
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: sexier when she's drinking, and you know, she comes out
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: of her shell and she becomes that image of what
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: she used to be, you know, and who she is
• 49:11
  Speaker 3: is not just enough, it's beautiful. She's got to know,
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: she's got to feel that love for her own actual self.
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: And I think it's a very fraught period of she's
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: threatened right now that her value is just being diminished.
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 49:24
  Speaker 6: All I want for her is to see that for herself.
• 49:27
  Speaker 6: See here how I see her and see her full potential.
• 49:30
  Speaker 6: So thank you guys. That was awesome advice.
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: Oh good good.
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: I'm so glad that all dan need to have a
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: great holiday too.
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: Happy holidays. Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: be right back to.
• 49:45
  Speaker 5: Wrap up with Brookshields. And we're back with Brookshields. Okay,
• 49:53
  Speaker 5: So how do people find comments?
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: If you just look up shop comments all lowercase shop
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: comments dot com cumn and it's all about really the
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: new beginnings and beginnings of this era and being as
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: joyful and healthy and just in our lives and proud
• 50:10
  Speaker 3: of who we are.
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: And are you still doing the groups too? If people
• 50:13
  Speaker 1: want to join in on the groups?
• 50:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I want to bring books into it
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: as well and really have it be a world of care.
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: I love it. I love it. And Brooks new book
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: is brookshield is not allowed to get old thoughts on
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: aging as a woman.
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: It is out.
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: It'll probably be out as soon as you hear this podcast.
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: I'm sure by the time we put this out, and
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: it will be available at all places, all bookstores. And
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: I was going to say wherever you listen to your podcasts,
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: and then I'm like, this is a book and this
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: is not a podcast.
• 50:43
  Speaker 3: Well no, and then my podcast didn't get rid of
• 50:46
  Speaker 3: for you, so I don't have that on my plate,
• 50:48
  Speaker 3: which is fine. But I went into the audio recording
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: of the books, so the also on audible and audio
• 50:55
  Speaker 3: and it's all me, okay, well it was you want
• 50:58
  Speaker 3: to listen to me anymore?
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: Well, we do, we do? You always want to listen
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: to you, Brook. I totally appreciate your time today. Thank
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: you so much. Congrats on everything. Please say hello to
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: your lovely husband Chris Hench for me.
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: I will, I will it? Will? You look like you're
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: in a cozy flace. I wish I was there. I am.
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: I'm in my happy place now. Yes, have a great day.
• 51:18
  Speaker 3: Okay, thank you for you too, Thank you very much.
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: Bye bye.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law, and
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com.