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BONUS: Dating Icks & Green Flags · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hibb it is Lalakhan. Welcome to the Bonus episode. Welcome Teeter.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: I'm back.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: I'm back. I literally I almost wish you would have
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: been here during the Sabrina Zohar episode. So I had
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Sabrina Zohar on the podcast for Wednesday's episode, regular old episode.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: She was amazing.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Did she put your guard down? Yes?
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Actually what was wild was I've had conversations with dating experts,
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: and I don't have conversations with them to go out
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: and try to meet somebody, but it's very much about
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: the female and how she attracts a man, right, And
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: to me, it always feels very it feels antiquated, and
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: it feels like a game. And when I said this
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: to Sabrina, she literally said, if you play the game,
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: you're going to attract a player. And I was like,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: what the f fuck? My mind is bone. It's so true,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: like all of these rules like don't text back unless
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: it's been this amount of time, don't break eye contact
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: for five seconds from across the bar because that's how
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: they know you're intro like all of these things where
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, this is so much to remember,
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: and you almost feel overwhelmed and defeated if you do
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: all of these steps and then it doesn't work out,
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: because sometimes it just doesn't work out because it just
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: don't work out.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: She not only talked about dating tips and advice, but
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: more so than anything, it was about like, who are
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: you when you go into dating and you feel a
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: certain way? What does that bring you back to?
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: How funny that when everybody says until like, you need
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: to fall in love with yourself to fall in love
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: with someone else, right, And that's what she brought it
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: back to, Is you right? You looking for? What are
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: you really wanting?
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Right? And she said, I am more scared of losing
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: myself than losing someone else. Like in dating, who cares
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: if you lose them? Because if I lose you while
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: trying to keep myself, then I would you know that's
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: a win. Yeah. So for this episode, God, I wish
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: you would. Well, you can listen to the episode. It
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: was so good.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: I cried, did you yes? Is that why the eyes puffy?
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: Fuck you?
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: I only said because you said it.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: What am I gonna do once the pre cancer is gone?
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: I'll have no reason not Right now I can be like,
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: fuck you, it's pre cancer.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: We'll find something.
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I actually am feeling great about the eye. The eye
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: is gonna be taken care of and.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: The drops her here. You're just about your business now,
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: I'm all about my business.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: So I asked the podcast page all of our friends,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: what are dating green flags and dating X? What are
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: some of Like, what would you say your green flags are?
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: And what I do you know? I don't even know
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: if I have one because I don't know what I'm
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: looking for. You just fucked me up with like if
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: you play the game, you're like you're going to attract
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: those type of people. I have no idea what like
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: my I mean, a green flag for me is like
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: a woman that is like family oriented and close with
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: her own family. Okay, that's a big green flag for me.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Red flags not even like like a red flag, but
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: like if you were on a date with someone, what's like, augh,
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: I don't know my pet because I feel like a
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: red flag is like abrupt. A red flag is like
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: is like.
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: When you when your social media is you think define you.
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: Oh okay, that's a big it in a red flag
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: for me?
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Can you elaborate, like what do you like they care about.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: Followers like they're constantly on like they're trying to be
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: somebody like that I have followers or I need my
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: page to look a certain that's an for me. Okay,
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: I don't know why, but it just is like somebody
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: too involved in their social media.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: What if.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Being paid, If it's a job, then I get it.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: But like if I'm just dating this girl and she's
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: wanting to be, you know, an influencer and things like that,
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: like they're depending on how they go about it, there
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: can be an ick.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Okay, I would. I could definitely, you know.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Rock at a hard spot for sure, because you can
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: want to do that and hold yourself well. But I've
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: seen other girls want to be that and crumble at
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: crumble everything.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: To be that okay, you know right, and like if
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: they don't get enough likes, it's a let down.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: It wasn't yeah like I need a better like I
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: need better photos, I need this. It's like, no, you
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: just need to be authentic and you'll get them.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Can I tell you what an ick for me for
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: you is.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: What the hair the girl?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I don't mean you, but I'm saying when I watched
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: like date certain girls, a certain girl where I got
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: an ick on your behalf was when someone came out
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: to visit you, and I was a little.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: Skeptical, Oh this is new ish.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: Yes, I was not into her at all. I don't
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: and I'm protective of you, but like I want you
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: to find somebody. But I'm like, there was a plethora
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: of things that drove me crazy. Okay, But then I
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: got a little worried because your bff Landing came out
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: and he was like, Yo, did you see this girl's
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: social media? And I was like no, And there were
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: a plethora of photos that she had posted of the
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: two of you.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: And she goes, can I post these? I was in
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: a meeting and I didn't even like look at the text,
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: like it was one photo and it was like me
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: and she was like can I post this? And I
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: was like, yeah, like I thought it was one photo?
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: No, it was pretty much a fucked seven to be exact,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: seven photos. I was like, this is so weird because
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: we're such a tight knit family and I've met this
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: girl one time. She like didn't talk a lot. She
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: was very kind, very kind and for someone else, great
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: for us, nah, And yes I may be a little
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: bit intense, but.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: It was It's gonna be really fun, guys for me
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: to find a wife.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: That's not true. Can I tell you this girl? All
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: the producers are laughing, But this girl had like we
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: had so much in common.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: No, you did. I That is one thing.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: The way she did she fulfilled the Eastern but she
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: didn't fulfill me.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: But that right there, And see, you're bringing up a
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: red flag for me. Like that was a red flag
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: when I was like, you did have like you're a
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: mom to two kids, mom of two kids. It's how
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: are you not talking? You know, like there was not with.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: The baby daddy, so we know co parenting situation.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Like there was a lot of things. And that
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: was my red flag of if I bring you around
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: my family, you have to make an effort with my family,
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: right you know. Yeah, And that's the other thing. And
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: I told you it's not going to be easy for
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: me to introduce women to you. Most people know who
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: you are. It is like, could you imagine me going
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: on a date with this girl and her brother was
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: Justin Bieber or something crazy.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: It's like, I haven't the equivalent of Justin Bieber.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I'm just say baby, baby, baby, shout out Justin Bieber.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: Shout out justin people, we stand with you, but we do.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: We do. If you need a friend, okay.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: So someone if they're like their brother or.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: The pub, Like shit, I don't know how to talk
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: to them, what to say. They're going to be judging me.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking, even though you're not, because you're in a
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: family dynamic, you can take yourself out and you are
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: with your brother, just like she was just nervous. Of course, Lauren.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: Everybody I talked to, they're like everybody, They're like, yeah,
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: in your sister's la La I'm like yeah, like, ah,
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: this one's ruined already. I need someone to not know
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: who the fuck you are.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: That's easy, Sid, there's seven billion, actually I think there's
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: eight now billion people on the planet.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: I gotta do fly in. I gotta fly into a
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: different country.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: By the way, though, Sabrina Zohar said, lot of luck
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: out of the country, lots of luck. America hard.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Yes, I'm glad that she said that, because now I
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: always thought I was like, they're just hard in this country,
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: not even in La Utah. It's hard in Salt Lake City, Utah.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Like I'm it is just hard.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: She said that dating in general is hard, but being
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: in LA, she said, LA and New York both add
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: like a more intense layer.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Well for sure, because they're you're the people that you're
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: wanting to be with or everybody wants to be somebody,
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: so it's not their first.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Right thing, and they come to a big city for
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: opportunity and like.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: And if I'm going to date you and you're affecting
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: my opportunity, I can't be with you.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: Well, your friend Calvin Cobb mm hmm, he's out in
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: these streets dating.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: He is a day term.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: He's a dater, but I really respect his boundaries he's got.
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: But that's the thing, like he doesn't just date, like
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: he won't even like just go out on a date
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: with a like a girl. He has to build, yeah,
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: something that he is going to go out. He's intentional.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: And that's something I'm trying to take from him, is
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: like he'll like a girl and he'll be like, yeah,
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: I want to take her on a date this and that,
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: but I need to build more on it. So when
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: we do do that, it's there's a foundation, right and
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: I can respect that. But he's a dater.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: You want to know what my green flags are A dater. No,
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: my green flags are pretty much everything I'm not actually.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: But then you want them.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I need you to be consistent. I need
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: you to honor commitment. Don't cancel all you embed at
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: six thirty, all of the green flags and at least
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: one face tattoo.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: Really, I was just gonna say, girls with like a
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: little tattoo right here, I showed you very cute. Yes,
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: I'm not when you're fully tattooed and stuff and then
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: you throw a face it is a look, and I
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: love like a girl with no tattoos or they just
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: like one and then there's one on the face.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: It's like a tiny cit one. Yeah, there's a green
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: flag for easton my My green flag is I would
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: say calm energy. Yes, the moment that I.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: Have chaos, you need to bring me peace.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I break down because I'm high strung. Yes, I'm high strong.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: When the wind blows a certain way, I get flustered
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: by things, and I think someone who can come in
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: and kind of calm the waters for me would be
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: which I think that that's just more of.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: I know what you need. I think I know you
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: need a I think you need your first boyfriend ever
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: he calm, protect and not even like the age, like
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: that's the thing, Like, I just know that that's who
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: he was, no matter if he was eighteen or thirty eight.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: He was just a calm human being totally. That is
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: what you needed. And he also what he did that
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: was so great and he's the only one that could
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: do it. And I'm not kidding you. When you were
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: fucking pissed and I'm using the effort, yes, to the
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: point where like your head was about to pop off
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: with steam blowing out of it, everyone's moving, and your
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: first boyfriend would poke the bear to the point where
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: your anger would turn into laughter and it would's gone. Yeah,
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: and then you would come and apologize to the family.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: That doesn't happen anymore. But your first boyfriend ever, still
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: in love with him till this day. And the way
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: you like he treated you, but the way you acted
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: with him, you were so fun. Yeah, no, no experience,
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: but that's who you need.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: I think so too. And now my ick is something
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: that I just realized from the podcast with Sabrina. When
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: a dude comes on too heavy like we yes, which
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: I know a love bomber, but for some reason, what
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: it has to do with me. I'm like, it's love
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: bombing for you, but we're getting married. Like she said,
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know you. Why are you talking to me
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: this way? I think that's gonna be the new it.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: I wish I was. You don't know me.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Why would you say you want to spend so much
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: time with me? You don't know me at all.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: I wish I was there. And I'm coming from like
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: a point of maybe, like for me and maybe other guys,
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: sometimes when you get a girl's attention that you actually like,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: you don't know if you'll lose it, so you do
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: want to try to spend a lot of time. And
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: that is a huge thing, that is it?
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: Okay, Yes, they're toxic, toxic individuals.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Oh right, maybe I'm toxic too.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: You're not toxic. I don't think you're toxic.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: I don't either, But I don't love bomb. I've worked
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: on that.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Oh did you used to be a love bomber?
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: I did my ex? Yeah, it worked out well. But
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: I love bombed her for sure.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think you love bombed her. I
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: think you actually loved her.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: No, I did love her, Yeah, I loved her.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: I don't talk about her, right, now that's not love bombing.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: You actually loved her.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: These men I meet one time and they're texting every day,
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my godness.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: It's so bad. I haven't done that. You're right, I
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: know you Okay? When they text me back, I'm like,
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: oh my gosh, too much.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: We also have toxic traits. Jessica Underscore Jane Underscore Baker say,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: wouldn't want a relationship with a girl who f's on
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: the first date but then proceed to try it on you.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: That is a fucking dick. I really don't like the.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: Girl who like gives it up on the first date. Hey,
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: you want to come back and watch a movie? What
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: are these?
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: I can squeeze your ass? It's like, that is it?
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: Girl?
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: I don't want. I am forming into what I don't want,
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: like you're I don't want to sleep with you. And
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: then I'm like, oh my god.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: It's the land of mirror, honey. We're all just mirrors
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: walking around looking at each other, projecting the fuck out
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: of life. Jessica Jane Baker's funny Jen Hurley, Rice Green
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: Flag Loves Animals, Red Flag entitled in any way, Get
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: I get entitled A little bit.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: I know somebody very entitled. Can you say their name
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: or no, we'll keep it under wraps.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: Boom, No, that was so funny. Ava Agallo says, Green
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: Flag loves animals.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: Did you read some.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: People who love to different Green flag loves animals.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: That is a big green flag for me. If you
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: don't treat animals, well, I know you don't.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, can I tell you a story?
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: I want to hear it.
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: I was intimate on a few occasions with this guy
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: who was is the son of a very very famous singer.
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: He was fun, he was cool, he was hot, came
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: over to the apartment. It was like maybe a sixth
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: date time hanging out. We always drank. That was super fun.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: My dog Lily was outside barking. I lived on Olympics,
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: still outside barking.
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: He kept telling her to come in, Yes, he kept
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: telling her to come in. She was having a heyday,
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: highlight of her day and night. When she came in,
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: he smacked her on the ass. When I tell you,
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: I was so livid. I almost caught a case. Kicked
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: him out of the apartment, never spoke to him again,
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: and I was like, wow, I literally could go to prison.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: Right now. I cannot chase him out of here.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: No, he will be dead. And that's the for somebody
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: to feel like they can treat an animal that isn't
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: theirs that way. Yeah.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: And then and then he repleted the next day over
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: text to apologize and that he was drinking. Guess what,
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: when you're drinking makes you want to abuse an animal?
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: Hit my fucking dog. They should probably stop drinking.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: Well, I mean, it's I'm going very far down a hole.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: But it's like, you know, you see all these murder
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: cases and it's like you animals. It's like, yeah, no,
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: you're weird.
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: No, But I love that this person said the red
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: flag is doesn't like animals, So the green flag is
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: you better love animals and red flag if you don't
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: like them, Dawn, Yeah, Raymi Kimi. Green flag makes you laugh,
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: the biggest of green flags. That is all I want
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: in life is just laugh. I just want to laugh
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: all the time. When I was pregnant with Sosa and
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: I had belly laughs, Like I think that's why she's
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: so fun.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: You really had a lot of belly laughs.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: The biggest like, I just want to be around someone.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: Here's the thing, like sex, goes away, looks go away.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: If you could be with someone who truly makes you
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: laugh and you have a good time together where it's
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: like just effortless that will carry you through the darkest
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: of days.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, a good belly laugh.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I haven't. The dawn made me laugh.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: And by the way, you also have to laugh at
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: what I say, because if you don't laugh at what
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: I say, great you don't think I'm funny. But I'm
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: this is not changing. Like I like to be weird.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: I like to be a little bit over the top.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: You know. I have passed this point of like I
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: just want a man to think I'm sexy. Sexy. No,
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: I want you to leave and be like that bitch
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: just funny as fuck. I have to see her tomorrow, Yeah,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: you know I do. Raymie Keemi also says green Flag
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: not only holds doors open for you, but opens the
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: door for others.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: That's me, that is you. I get stuck at the
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: fucking door sometimes, and then I'm too nice to say
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: fuck you, so I just hold it. I might as
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: well put a bell hat on me. Come on in.
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: Do you like me to take you?
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: No? But you're so nice, You're so nice.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: The one thing that I've been doing that isn't so nice,
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: but they deserve it. If they don't say thank you,
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: I always go, you're welcome, and then I keep walking.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: I think that that's a boundary.
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: It is, and I'm working on those.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: A passive aggressive boundary, it is.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: And no one said anything SI at.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: All instead of being like, hey, like, you're welcome, I
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: held the door up for you. It's just as simple,
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: you're welcome.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: You're welcome. And if they go I didn't say something, I.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Could have sworn. I thought I heard you say thank you.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: Well it's either that or I'm gonna knock him on
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: the forehead and go, you're welcome.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: Great, so we're gonna I think if you touch someone
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: out their consent it is assault.
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: Right, I'm going to get four of them. One, two, three, four,
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: You're welcome.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: You know what though, that is a huge one. I
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: was talking to Brittany on her podcast. This was a
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: few months ago, and we both said, like, we're also
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: fixated on how someone treats us, and so often we
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: forget how people treat other people. And I think that
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: that is that should be taken into account as well. Yeah,
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: also a huge red flag for me now, just with
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: the experience of life. If I'm with a dude who
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: treats me in a fantastic way, that tells me his
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: ex or his baby mama is crazy. Red flag. Yeah,
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: red freaking flag.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: I've got a red flag. How you treat your waiters,
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: waitresses and servers.
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that is a big one.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: That's a flag for me. If you're rude. Red.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: Oh, if you're rude, goodbye. No tolerance for the rudeness. No,
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: because you know, I've been on dates with dudes who
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: have baby mamas and I'll ask that question like, oh,
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: how is your you know, baby mom? Are you guys
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: able to copare it? And the green flags are when
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: they're like, you know, we don't always get along. It
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: can be tough sometimes, but she's a great mom, and
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: that's all I can ask for. It's like, yeah, but
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: when you immediately go to she's fucking crazy. She makes
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: my life hard. I'm like, I have a feeling you
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: make her life hard and she's set the boundary that
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: you don't like. Yeah, that's what I'm gathering. I can
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: agree on that she doesn't give you everything you want.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: Go to the bar four days out of the week,
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: only three. She makes it hard?
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: Does Borkowski underscore a mama's boy? They didn't say if
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: that was a red flagg or a green flag?
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: Is that a rhet or a green Well, because I'm
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: a mama's boy. How far would it go for it
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: to be a red flag of being a mama's boy?
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: Because that is a good question, because think like a
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: man at the beginning of it, he takes his day
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: like his girlfriend for Valentine's Day, and then it pans
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: over and his mom's there. That's that's a red flag.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: Yes, But a dude who says like I love my
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: mom a lot, like I'm a MoMA's boy. She raised
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: me like I wouldn't I.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: Go over there twice a week, three times.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: A week, multiple times a day, not a green flag
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: because I have that same type of relationship. I think
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: what would be hard is if we got to a
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: place where, like, you love your mom just as much
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: as I love my mom, We're going to them now
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: this is a daity of the mom's yes, right, yeah,
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: because I can't sit here and choose your mom over
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: my mom.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: That christ do you think do you think people have
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: if somebody says, if you're a mama's boy or a
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: daddy's girl, it's a red flag. Do you think it's
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: something on their end?
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: What do you? Oh? It could be you're you must
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: not be that close with your family.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah and all. Yeah, because that's the thing, like everybody's
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: you know, relationships are different, you know, family wise, even
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: like your mom and you have a very different relationship
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: than me and my mom. Right, So if your mom
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: and you aren't that close and people coming as a
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: red flag because of your relationship, you can't throw that
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: on the meat.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: But then it could also be the perfect situation because
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: you're like, I love my family, you hate yours. Great,
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: we'll just spend all of the time with mine.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: I love you.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: It could be actually a win win situation. I have
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: it the one you thought you were love bombing but
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: actually just loved period. He still loves you. Come back
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: around four underscore. Green respects my space when I need it,
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Red never gives me space, Flash wants me around twenty
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: four to seven. You know what, it's a red flag
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: when they don't give you your space and want you're
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: around twenty four seven. That that to me becomes like
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: a controlling aspect.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: But also like it is a red flag, But shouldn't
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: you be with somebody that when you're with them, you
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: are alone? If that makes sense. Like when I was
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: with my ex who I am in love with, still
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: she could be there and I'm here and we were
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: she wasn't there? Makes sense? M Like our space was
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: still there, but we were together. That's the best, the best.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: I love you, Raymi.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Kimi also says ick being on his cell phone while
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: on a date loser, loser, that's a new thing, though,
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: I mean we were on their phones at all, freaking.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: Looking something up? Or am I on a phone? No?
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: No, no, this is clearly you're on the phone. This
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: isn't like we're googling together to see like how many
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: calories are in the meal we're eating, or whatever the
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: fuck it may be. We said they afford a lot
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: on this.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: Episode, I know, but it was needed.
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: It's about like I'm with you and I'm texting, Okay, terrible, horrible.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: If I ever if a girl came up to me
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: and said I went on a date with your brother
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: and he was on the phone the whole time, I would.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: Just to let you guys know on dates, I don't
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: put my phone either it's in my pocket or I
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: put it like on the sheet, like not near me,
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: Like I don't put it on the I read somewhere
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: that if you put your phone on the table at
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: dinner or anything like that, Yeah, you're telling everyone around
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: that they're not as important as who may come through
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: on that phone.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So I don't put my phone on the table ever.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: I keep it on my pocket or put it on
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: like the couch er chair under my leg, and if
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: it vibrates, I don't care. I just don't want everybody
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: to hear it go boop, you know, because then when
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: you grab it there and I think.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: Being trans parent, like for me on dates that I've
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: gone on, which I haven't been on a date in
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: a long time, but I have been on dates where
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: I've been a mother, and I will say, like, I
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: have to check my phone very quickly. This is you know,
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: but my mom or my brother and they're watching my kids, and.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: That just to let you know. If I went on
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: a date with a girl and she was like, just
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: to let you know, I do have my kid at home,
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: Da da da da. If I check my phone, it's
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: for that reason, I'd go keep it out just in case.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but the texting. The texting is so rude.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: I'll give them the texting, but if they start picking
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: it up constantly, then I'm that's. Let me tell you.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Something, though. I would almost rather have someone say I
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: have to take this call rather than hold on for
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: a second.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: No, like, let me tell you something interrupt. I have
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: to take this call.
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: Yes, if my mom is calling, she has my children,
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: I have to pick it up. If my mom's texting,
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: it must not be that.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: But already I would be the guy not letting you
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: even do that, you know, right, Yes, it would be
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: like I would almost say, like, if you don't keep
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: your phone on the table, I will be furious at you,
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: like you got kitts and stuff? Keep it out?
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: Yes, j L C. Menu says X everything. Lol, I'm
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: fine alone. Is it so sad that this is.
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: Related with you?
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: The most?
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: I love? I was just talking to Jenna after our
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: pod We went over and she we just sat well, oh,
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: did she go to Jerry's Deli with your Yeah, she
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: didn't get anything, but I did. But we were talking about.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: That about being alone.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and how fucking great it is.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Did she agree with you.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she was like, I live alone and I love it.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: I know. I mean, yes, we want partners here and there,
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: but like here, in there, in there, here and there
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: for me if she wants one.
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: I just wanted a very untraditional life at all times.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I created an untraditional life. I thrive in
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: that environment. So that's what I'm going to do. That's
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: what I'm going to do. You guys, thank you for
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: setting in your green flags and your X and thank
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: you for listening to. ANOTHERUS episode of the Give the
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: Molla podcast YouTube is also up now, and I'm gonna
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: catch you on Wednesday for a regular old episode and
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: again xbox to bye